#bad but it's not that they're an asshole! I'm simply just stupid for thinking otherwise. it's REALLY difficult to get rid of this mindset

[leatherbookmark]

Every once in a while there will be a blogger I'm not following, but whose posts I know and whose blog I visit from time to time. They can either be a generally popular user, a fandom-popular user, a mutual-in-law, or simply someone whose posts I've seen reblogged by other blogs I visit. You know how it is on tumblr dot com.

Anyway, impressing me -- and at the same time making me take you for a Cool Person Who Knows Things, And Whose Opinions Are Important And I Should Defer To Them -- is only a little bit harder than biting into an overcooked noodle, or accidentally stepping on an ant. So, I'll often admire these people from afar and feel sad and inadequate if we disagree on something, or of they criticize something I think is fine (especially if they do it without giving a reason, like 'well, it goes without saying that X simply sucks').

However -- sudden salvation -- every once in a while this blogger will have an opinion that's so nonsensical, or they'll behave in a way that's so unnecessary hostile to someone who doesn't really deserve it, that it's honestly both sad and surprisingly relieving to me because ohhhh okay you're just a fucking asshole. You're not a special, sophisticated mini-god, you're just an asshole who's mean for no reason. Phew! Aaaaand block.

[themelodicenigma]

People sure like to use the phrase "forcing a view" a lot, but often, I've seen this misused.

Someone isn't forcing anything on you by stating what they believe to be true, with their own evidence, thorough research and reasoning, on their own post, on their own blog. How self-centered to think this. To make it all about you. This is like believing truth, or anything logically pushing towards it, is JUST some scary thing that is "forcing" you to think differently, binding you and "taking" away your ability to think, to compromise, to REFUTE it, or to accept it on your own terms. That....is something for you and another person to figure out. That's a deeper rooted issue that isn't my responsibility to get into.

Anyone can say something is true, whether it is or not, without having to coddle you and remind you of the fact that, yes, you can indeed think differently about it because you're an autonomous human being. That the existence of different thought doesn’t simply cease to exist. It's not my responsibility to remind you of your capability of thought when you're insecure about what someone is saying or for what information exists that you don't agree with—ESPECIALLY when in no way is it being said that someone can't believe something different. Of course you can. This is always going to be true, whether the merit or value of what the belief is. Someone can be an asshole about it, or say something is true nonsensically, but if you can't even tell them WHY and HOW, you're not any better.

There are truths. They exist. There is reasoning and logic, good or bad, rational or irrational. There are things that may not be explicitly truths, but can be supported by evidence and closer reading—this can even open a pathway for understanding of different conclusions if applicable. There are also things that are false, that are not supported, that are intentionally misleading. There are just, straight up personal feelings and thoughts that you don't CARE if it's true or not.

Figuring out what is what—that is what discussion and debate yearns to do. Having this goal or having an argument and evidence for anything—this isn't inherently also a campaign for forcing people to believe something.

Now, if someone was say, invading one or multiple people's blogs, fanart, appreciation posts, etc.—can't even get by with talking about something without another coming in and just essentially pining for attention like a child: "Oh yeah? Well it isn't canon, so."—that's closer to what "forcing" would look like.

And even then, that wouldn't be effective or productive for anyone. "Believe what I'm saying on Tumblr or ELSE!"

Or else what? You're going to go into someone's brain an alter their thoughts and memories?

Yeah, "forcing", and not at all closely resembling anything I've ever said.

If you believe someone is incorrect about something, but your way of "discussing" this is anything akin to "Yeah? Well well....you're stupid! You wrote too much for me to read! And you're wrong!", and that's ALL you have to say? That this is something you wrote out seriously thinking "yeah, this’ll show them"? That you somehow believe in your own importance so much that this passes as an intelligent response?

No.

Not how it works.

If you want to tell someone they're wrong, then you address what they're wrong about with what is then otherwise the supposed correct thing—even if you want to talk about how rude or irrational they were being. You need to still address what was actually said. "You're wrong, trust me bro" isn't going to cut it, nor will just attacking them with nonsensical, insulting comments. You don't show you know what you're talking about or that you CAN even refute what they say if you do this.

"Oh I COULD tell you why you're wrong as I hold ALL the answers, but I won't share because you're stupid!"—You just look desperate, confused, and just like the person described above who would be attempting to force their nonsense onto other people.

And you're just looking to be blocked and stew in your own idiotic bubble.

[inconveniently-discorporated]

What you said about survival really hit me in the soul because I just came to this discovery myself like, literally only the other week.

So I went through this program focused around helping people build their skills, but also helping people build their confidence. And it was really enlightening, only I hadn't put any of the puzzle pieces about myself together beforehand, so I went into it with a very NT viewpoint about myself that I was simply a broken creature who needed to be "fixed".

I've since learned a lot about myself. And one thing about the program that just didn't jive, was the concept that if you say something stupid, then, "So what? What's the worst that could happen? People will think you said something dumb, and then they'll move on."

And I just. I could not for the life of me figure it out. Yes, it made sense, I objectively observed this happening where people made mistakes and other people moved on. So why was it so hard for me? Why did it feel like life or death?

And eventually, which was only just recently, it occurred to me that it simply... it just wasn't that way for me. Whether that was because of my OWN sensitivity and perception, or whether it was my actual reality. But, I'm inclined to think it's a little bit of "column a" and a little bit of "column b", where one column is actually my perception working in overdrive, and the other column is simply a privilege I have not been entitled to.

When someone who is otherwise wholly accepted by their peers says something dumb, that's something dumb. It is a blip in the radar. It is so small a thing, hardly anyone would even notice, and even if they did, their positive feelings about that person make it easy to gloss over the little mistake and chalk it up to a bad moment.

When someone is perceived the way ND people are largely perceived -- which is, to say, completely and utterly flawed at their core (often perceived to be by choice) -- then the little blip isn't just an exception, it is the rule. Of course I said something stupid, it's because I AM stupid (their logic goes). Every little thing isn't just a little thing, it is evidence. It is evidence fueling their image of me that is someone who is choosing to be lazy, stupid, clueless, rude, weird, or whatever other negative thing that has been slung my way.

I think the most frustrating part about it is that it strikes me as largely cultural. A lot of the things I am told are rude, are rude because people think they're rude. And there are other cultures where it's not only not considered rude, but desirable behavior. And so it's like, we're all running around condemning people for behavior biologically beyond their control, for no reason other than people say it needs to be that way.

So, that's why I've made it my passion to spread awareness and positivity about things, and I actively participate in workplace initiatives that are all about understanding the drivers behind human behavior rather than just writing people off as assholes because they relate to life in a different way than ourselves.

Because like, I agree -- there's sense to the nonsense if you think about it. There's value in a bit of social gravy, that bit of grey area that a lot of ND folks are not necessarily great at. There's some cohesiveness that is required, some forgiveness, give-and-take. But the thing is, a lot of that depends on the culture and norms we're taught about. It's like a password, code phrases that let people know everyone's in the same club. But like, the frustrating thing is that the password seems to be, "be really fucking mean to people".

But personally, I've witnessed pockets of personalized ecosystems of human behavior that are really accepting of different personalities and neurotypes, and it gives me hope. I just try to do my part to share my perspective, and hope it influences a broader range of people to think a little more critically before they bully someone for being "different". I really think it's possible to bridge gaps, not just fortify the ravine so no one can cross.

Anyway -- yes, human beings are such terribly messy creatures. Our emotions color all the way outside of the lines, which can really be so beautiful, but also chaotic. Ineffable. Especially when you were taught that the only way to color is within the lines, and you were never told it was okay to color outside of them, or when.

Ineffable feels like the right word to use for how society operates with their stupid rules based on stupid things.

Stupid things like "even if I tell you it's ok you're just supposed to know it's not so that you don't hurt my feelings"

See also "it's okay to hurt your feelings on purpose and involve a large audience to help me hurt your feelings on purpose because you hurt mine on accident"

This isn't based on anything recent I'm just thinking about it because I'm writing some heavily-Aziraphale POV stuff and I tend to lean heavily on the word "ineffable" and I realized that's because that's how all of this stuff feels to me most of the time.

Why is it like that? I don't know, I can only tell you that it is based on the patterns I've observed.

Who told me this was against The Rules? Well no one, that's the point, it's all just kind of ineffable you're just supposed to sort of know and I'm just trying to do my best to follow.

Why can't I deviate? Well -- I mean -- because those are The Rules, I'm not supposed to deviate? Oh -- but it's also in The Rules that you're supposed to break the rules sometimes? Oh, you won't tell me when those are? Oh. Oh dear.

Well, that's rather inconvenient. And yet I'm the bastard for being direct every once in awhile or attempting to follow The ineffable Rules that are both very important and meaningless at the same time.

[suga-kookiemonster]

Hello!! I feel a little shy about coming out of anon for that, but I was wondering if you could give me some advice about something... I'm in a bts discord server and I find it a little hard to make online friends. I'm a little shy and very soft (and extremely perky and energetic once I'm comfortable and know someone), and I never quite know what to say... :( We have different discussions, like when we want to talk or if we want to thirst, for example. And I try to participate in conversations or to create some, but I always feel kind of useless :/ But people on this server are so close! And my mind thought that maybe it was because I came on it later, but a few days/weeks ago, someone new entered the server as well and they're the new bff! So my mind was like fuck 😅 what am I doing wrong? I've tried to be normal (aka sweet, say little things here and there to contribute, ask questions, give compliments if someone sends pictures of themselves/their art/their writing), I've thirsted when I wanted to/felt like it, I've even tried to get out of my bubble sometimes (I sent 2-3 pictures of myself as well even though it stressed me out a bit so I could show I was normal and not an old man or smth haha) but I don't feel like I really matter :// And I'm not trying to get bffs for life, don't get me wrong!! A lot of us don't use our real names! But I'd like to feel a part of an online bts community in this time of covid. I do like this server and it's full of very funny/kind people. But at the same time, lately, it has made me feel down :(( and I don't want this during this time... And I don't want to be fake either, you know? :( I thought maybe it was cause I'm reserved/shy at first, and therefore maybe a little awkward, and that maybe I needed to be more "intense" like the rest of the server, but there's this very very sweet person in the server that people love so much. So maybe it's not a matter of being sweet or intense or funny or cold... Maybe it's me? Omg I'm a mess 😅😅 Please scream at me if I'm being unreasonable or plain stupid!! I trust what you'll say and feel like maybe you'd have some good insight on the matter. If not, or if this ask makes you uncomfortable, please ignore it!! I'll continue to interact off anon anyways and to send love your way ❤❤❤

okay first of all, i just want to applaud you for putting yourself out there and being yourself. in my personal experience with mass fan spaces like this, everyone wants to be liked and make friends, and i’ve observed that a lot of times, this translates to the need to be liked overriding common sense and genuine responses/opinions. obviously, there is absolutely no reason to be an asshole online, but i’ve witnessed people bend over backwards to be perceived as “nice”, whether it was appropriate in certain situations or not; whether they actually meant what they were saying or not. what you’re seeing is often simply internet personas, not necessarily actual people. which is fine, because i don’t like to put my business on the internet either! but you better believe that the parts of me i do put on the internet are authentic. i don’t always see that mentality  in fan spaces. instead, i see groups of people who would rather kiss each other’s asses to feel like they belong than to cultivate true relationships by acknowledging faults that we all have. by accepting those faults, and helping each other grow as people.

i guess what i’m trying to say is that you shouldn’t feel bad that you may not be connecting, because you’re coming into the situation authentically, and other people may not be. true friendship is not made overnight, so oftentimes what you’re seeing is very surface-level. not to say people don’t make genuine friends online, because i have! ones that are simply online, and ones that have moved from online to irl. i just think that true friendship takes time, and you have to be on the same wavelength. someone joining the group later than you and seemingly being bffs with everyone means absolutely nothing, because that’s simply not true 🤷🏽‍♀️ it’s all a performance. in life, that’s how acquaintances are made, not friends. you don’t actually know these people! (and tbh, they don’t actually know each other lmao) and yet despite this, i’m seeing a growing online trend where people immediately cling to each other and act like best friends when they obviously are not. again, it’s all very performative and it’s hard to be a part of if you’re not also willing to perform.

if you’re going into situations trying to make genuine connections with people and they’re more focused on making sure everyone likes them, that’s not going to work in the long run. so my advice is to simply continue being yourself--don’t try to be what you think others want to see in order to get attention. and if you find that’s not enough, then that space is simply not for you, and you should search for ones that are, online or otherwise. please don’t let this sort of thing get to you or cause you anxiety--just keep moving until you find your people 😘

[fortunatelyhauntedblackcherry]

Moonshine - A Beetlejuice Fanfiction 08

Warning: ANGST. With capital letters. So much trauma, anger, crying and death you guys. It was so hard for me to write, it was emotionally challenging, so it might do the same to some of you by reading it. There's also swearing in it.

Beetlejuice floated right through the wall between Rei's and Ari's room. He stretched his back with closed eyes and a huge smile, his bones cracking like dry branches in the wind.

- Oh babes you couldn't possibly imagine how happy I am right now! I heard a genuine scream coming my way! Ah man I haven't heard any of those in a decade, it sounded so... - Beetlejuice opened his eyes. The room was almost empty, only Sirius was inside. Couple of sewing patters were scattered on the floor, next to the already cut-out parts of a cornflower blue dress. BJ blinked at Ari's laptop; the podcast she was listening to has been stopped. - ...kinky. - he finished his sentence in a lowered voice.

He suddenly turned his head to the open window as he realized that a muffled voice came from outside. Sirius scuffled for a bit when he heard the noise and growled when Beetlejuice moved past him. The demon climbed out to the roof, following the noises. Ari was sitting at the farthest end, wrapped in an oversized dark green knitted cardigan. Beetlejuice almost called out to her, scolding her for disappearing when he had such great news but he stopped himself when he realized what the voices were. Ari was crying.

- Babes? - asked Beetlejuice, as he lowered his raspy voice. - What's going on? - Ari quickly turned to the demon's voice's direction. She had a used tissue in her hand. She quickly tried to cover her face with her hair but Beetlejuice saw what she was hiding. Her emerald eyes were all puffy and red, her nose was swollen and full-blooded too, and her lips looked like she didn't drink any water in a week. Her voice was cracking a bit as she started talking.

- Oh, it's nothing, Bug, just... - she beckoned with her hand. Beetlejuice heard as she tried to pull herself together. She let out a huge breath. - ...it's just my mental health issues. They're acting up again. - Beetlejuice stepped next to her as she cleared her throat. - Just gimme a sec, I'll be alright and you can tell me what you have done to my poor sister.

- Nonono, there's something wrong here. - he sat down next to Ari. Her legs were pulled close to her chest as she has enclasped them. She put her chin on her knees, showing as little of her face as she could. - You had a bad day last week when your anxiety was thriving. This is not like that. - Ari smiled lightly. Her wet eyelashes juddered, which made them glisten in the beams of moonlight.

- You really got to know me in the past couple weeks, didn't you?

- Yeah, that... and you also made me sit through 13 episodes of Therapy, which is an awful series by the way, so I'm basically a mind-scientist now. - Ari snorted while she let out a small, sad laugh. - So tell Doctor B, what's going on here, patient number one? - Ari let go of her knees and huffed out. She let her legs dangle off of the roof. She didn't look at Beetlejuice's direction, she just watched the darkness pass by under her feet.

- I... I got to know why do I hear you.

Beetlejuice scrowled and shook his head.

- I'm not following, please explain why does that makes you sad? I thought you wanted to know... - he stopped as Ari rubbed her temples and sighed. She kept her eyes closed while she was talking.

- B., of course I wanted to know! I wanna help, don't think otherwise, it's just... - she clenched her jaw, swallowed her saliva then continued. - The memories. They make me so goddamn angry and sad at the same time.

- I don't get it. - Beetlejuice sounded clueless. He didn't really know what she was talking about. As Ari clicked with her tongue, Beetlejuice moved closer to her and leaned even closer to her ear. His voice was as raspy as always, but he sounded much more sweet and kind. Almost gentle. - Maybe... Talking will help. I don't know, Dr. Phil says it does a lot. - Ari opened her eyes and breathed out. Her breath was jerky.

- The podcast I was listening to, you know, the one about the extraspecial demons, well... - Beetlejuice looked down at Ari's hands. She was sinking her nails into her fingertips. She must have been doing this for at least an hour, since some already left dark purple marks on her fingerpads. Beetlejuice put his hand over Ari's. The cold air made the girl shiver a bit but it also made her stop. - The show started with the hosts talking about how they invited a parapsychologist into the show so he could tell the audience interesting things about demons generally before they start to talk about the different types. So the guy said really interesting stuff, hands down, it really was good, but then he said that after a certain type of trauma, some people develop a weird... "ability". - she used her hands to emphasize the word then let them fall onto her lap again. She sighed. - Do you want to hear the long story of why do I hear you, or the short version? - Beetlejuice flinched his eyes.

- I prefer long and thick things so give it to me, baby. - Ari didn't react to his joke. She'd didn't even smile. She looked like she was was collecting her strength. After a couple minutes of silence, she finally started to speak.

- Bug, have you ever seen how my abdomen looks?

That was a sudden question.

- No? - he said in a kind of shy voice. He didn't wanna upset her more. She seemed just as miserable as furious. - You said no croptops until it's at least 30 °C... Why? - Ari breathed in and layed a bit back. She started to roll her olive t-shirt up on her belly.

Beetlejuice gasped and held his palm before his mouth. The tips of his hair started to turn into red and purple at the same time.

- Who... Who did that to you?!? - Beetlejuice held his hand above the three scars that Ari had on her abdomen. They were shapeless, with rigged edges and at least 5 centimeters long each.

- They've been with me since I was 17. - she sniffled a bit as she let her shirt down. She pulled one of her knees close to her chest again, and put her elbow up on it. - Don't worry, I already got used to them. I don't love them, but they're stuck with me so... - she sighed and look at Beetlejuice's direction. - You sure you wanna hear this story? I might cry. I might get furious and start screaming. You wouldn't like either.

- It's true that nothing is sexier than laughing and screaming of terror, but I'd surely get hard, seeing you deranged with anger. - Ari snorted at the demon's arousing voice. He actually just tried to cover up the fact that all he wanted was to kill whoever did that, and then hug the girl tight.

- Get ready for a love story that is basically horror at best... The kind where the hero still... Gets broken in the end. - she sighed and looked up at the stars. - This fucked up story starts half a year before I got my scars. I started dating a guy named... - she gulped and closed her eyes. - Matthias. - she opened her eyes with a sigh. - Gods, I hate to say his name out loud. It makes me wanna gag. It was a teenage love, I didn't see or didn't want to see his faults and I totally fell head over feet for him. You know what I'm talking about, right?

- Totally. - he had no clue.

- So you know, it was fun in the beginning. He was older than me, so nice and funny. He escorted me basically everywhere, and it just felt so good to be with him. - she sighed. - I thought that he was just worried when he told me I shouldn't go to a party with my friends cause "the world is filled with creeps", but later I realized that he was just simply possessive. - she sighed, sounding annoyed, and looked straight into the darkness of the night. - I started feeling anxious because of him when he started to tell me where could I go and what could I wear. "That's too showing, you can show that much skin only to me!" - she said in a mimicking voice. Then her face turned so dark so quickly. - He told me that if I wasn't acting nice, or behave, or do exactly as he says, that would make him look bad before his friends and a good girlfriend wouldn't want that. Shit, man, we've been together for 4 months only but I was so unstable because of him and massive bullying in school that I turned out to be an anxious wreck. - she clicked her tongue, got up and started to walk up and down, her bare feet tapping on the roof. - We went out one day, and during our "date" he repeatedly told me how I was not smart enough, pretty enough, ENOUGH, and he was with me just because no one else would want me. After he dropped me off at home, I started crying my heart out to my mom. - her eyes got teary again, but there was so much anger in her voice. - Gods she's such a wonderful woman. She taught me how to be brave, how to be strong enough to be myself. And at that moment she made me realize how I'm starting to lose my badass, weird but awesome self because of this stupid cabrón! - she kicked the air. Her breathing was so fast, and her body was radiating so much heat it could almost warm Beetlejuice up. She breathed out with a sigh. - Shit, I must look like a crazy person. Excuse me. I sometimes use spanish words when I'm experiencing a strong feeling. Multilingual things. Cabrón means...

- Pendejo, fucker, asshole, I know. - that sudden cut-in brought Ari down back to earth quickly. She knitted her eyebrows. - I had an argentinian girlfriend who taught me a bit spanish. I can cuss just perfectly. - he tried to sound calm. He really did. But oh boy he was not. The way the emotions changed on Ari's face made him remember some of his past traumas, and that made him feel a lot of different things at the same time. And he was also furious at this asshole of an ex.

Ari sat down again. She breathed out to calm herself down. After a minute of frozen silence, the demon started to talk.

- This whole thing is fucked up, you know. The whole being told what to do and where to go and how to look... - said Beetlejuice in a low manner. His raspy voice sounded... sad? He cleared his throat, even though, being dead, he didn't have to, it just felt good. - I'll totally regret this, but since we're doing this overly honest heartfelt shit that I normally hate, and I'm very much irritated by it, let me tell ya... - he looked at Ari as his hair turned more purple. - I can relate to you. My mother did the same shit to me. She made me feel worthless, a piece of shit that didn't deserve any love. - he sighed and looked up at the moon. He chuckled a bit, his voice went back from soft to normal quickly. - Dear God slash Satan, your emotional bullshit is contagious, Ari. I gotta stop hanging out with you.

Ari smiled lightly.

- You couldn't. You love chilling with me. - the demon scretched his stubbles and let out a tiny laugh.

- True. I'm hooked on that fine ass of yours. - Ari laughed a bit. She looked where Beetlejuice's voice came from previously, and held out her hands.

- You know, I wouldn't really feel it, it won't exactly be a real hug, but if you want to... - Beetlejuice didn't let this opportunity go, he basically jumped into Ari's embrace instantly. He almost fell over her body, and he couldn't really wrap his hands around her, but being this close felt so good. Ari's body radiated so much heat and hearing her heart pitter-patter inside her chest made him forget how she didn't even see him. They both smiled. - Thanks for telling me a bit about your origin story. I know it's hard to talk about these kind of shits.

Beetlejuice let Ari go and sit back a bit, still staying close to the girl. She let her hands down.

- I'm only this honest with you cause you told shit to me too. - the demon lowered his raspy voice. - But if you tell anyone about my problems, even though we are bffffs forever, I'll skewer you like a pig. Understood? - Ari swallowed and blinked nervously while nodding. Beetlejuice continued like he didn't say anything threatening. - Anyway, I still don't know why do you hear me. Are we getting there soon? - Ari nodded again and rubbed her cheek.

- Yeah, sure, buckle up for the worse part of the ride, buddy. - she cleared her throat. - When the next day I went over to his place to break up with him and to tell him that I belong to no one, and he doesn't have the right to tell me what to do, he hit me. He slapped me so hard that my cheek ripped up a bit. - she pulled her hair back a bit, revealing a tiny scar on her left cheekbone. - The next day he called me, told me that he's sorry and he didn't want to hurt me. I hang up on him quickly and got a new number the same day. I wanted him gone. But it didn't take him much time to get my new number. He called me a thousand times. But since I didn't answer, he started to follow me. Watching from the street while I was at school. Creeping around the studio I sang at. - she sniffled as her eyes started to get teary, but she quickly wiped them with the sleeve of her cardigan - You know, I called the cops. I told them everything. And they told me they couldn't do anything until he hurts me. - she chuckled in an annoyed way. She fuckin chuckled. - They didn't have to wait for that for so long.

- WHAT?! - shouted Beetlejuice which made Ari jump a bit. He jumped up in anger, the tips of his hair shining in bright red. - THOSE GUYS SHOULD TAKE CARE OF PEOPLE, NOT TELL THEM TO "GET FUCKIN HURT THEN WE'LL TALK"?!? - he squatted down next to Ari. - Let me guess, that son of a bitch ex of yours caused those fuckin scars?!?

-...yes... - said Ari with bated breath. Beetlejuice scraffed his fluffy hair and unshaven face. - I was walking home late from a rehearsal, mom was at work, and when I was already at our street, he stepped up to me out of nowhere, started to tell me how he's gonna change and after I pushed him, and told him to leave me alone since I fuckin hate him and I don't belong to him... He said that if I don't wanna belong to him, then I'll belong to no-one. And he... - tears started running down her cheeks. - Stabbed me. Again. And again.

- THIS... MOTHER FUCKER... - he bit his fist and started to babble. - I mean yeah sure I kinda get it I'm a bit possessive too, also creepy, but I'm pretty sure he could get an another hot goth chick and...

- HE KILLED ME, MAN! - screamed Ari into the abyss. Beetlejuice froze in his movement.

- W...What? - Ari sat still, hands covering her mouth. Beetlejuice squatted down next to her again. - Babes did I hear that right? - she shut her eyes and sighed. She let her hands go and stared down from the roof.

- Yes. - she said. Her voice was so weak. - A neighbor saw what happened and called the ambulance. I got rushed into hospital and... I went under surgery. They had to remove a part of my intestines asap... They got damaged from the stabs... And while I was knocked out... My heart decided to give up on me. And I died.

Beetlejuice sat down at the brim of the roof. He was shocked.

- I... suppose that's why you have a fixation with death? - he asked calmly. Ari shrugged and lifted her hands up.

- Partly... Other than the fact I was born on Halloween so it's basically in my blood... I think what really caused my obsession is that I remember every goddamn second of being dead. I remember seeing my body, covered in blood, and as I realized what was going on, I started panicking about how much more I wanted to do and how young I was to die. - she sighed with a light, not so real smile. She sounded so damaged. The demon could hear the pain in her voice. - 🎶And so, being young and dipt in folly, I fell in love with melancholy.🎶 - she looked at Beetlejuice's direction after she wiped her tears off with a tissue. - I was dead for 4 minutes before they brought me back. More or less. Looks like that's why I hear you. Many folks who die and come back develop this... "ability" to see or hear creatures from other dimensions. My special power is to hear demons, as it turns out. - she looked at the demon's direction. - Good for you I winded up in this house.

- I'm so happy about that. I couldn't ask for a better breather partner in crime in my dreams. - Ari heard in his voice that he was smiling. Oh if she could see his lightpink hairtips too... - What happened after? - asked Beetlejuice. Ari lifted her eyebrows a bit. - I mean, I hope the fucker got what he deserved and someone killed him. - Ari bit his lips in frustration, and sighed.

- Not exactly... At least he didn't got what I think he would have deserved. - she stretched out her legs. - While I was in the hospital for 8 months, on full-time mental and physical therapy by the way, I filed a report against him and got him arrested. I was so relieved... Then I heard he only got 3 years. - she fumbled through her hair. - Seriously, he fuckin put someone in intensive care for months and all he got was a couple of years then adiós, go on your fuckin way my man?! - she let out an angry growl. - Just because, and I quote, "he was young and could have a bright future", yes, that's what the jury said... - she huffed. - But the good thing is, right after he got out, he violated the restraining order that I got against him. He came to the house that Sofi, Rei, my mom and I lived in. You know, they moved in with us after I got out of the hospital because... For the first 5 or six months, I was afraid to go out without company. So my sisters helped a lot. They even kind of made me forget how my friends left me, because "I was acting overdramatic and why couldn't I just forget and be happy". - Beetlejuice raised his eyebrows and shook his head.

- The fuck is wrong with people... - Ari let out an annoyed chuckle.

- Oh my man, most of them are awful fellas. After this, I didn't even care that I missed my prom. - she swallowed her saliva and leaned back so she could gaze the stars. - So yeah, back to the subject, that pendejo came to our house in the middle of the night and demanded my mom to take him to me cause he wanted to say sorry because he missed me so much and wanted us to start a new chapter. - Ari rubbed her temples. - The police acted quickly this time and put him into jail for 3 more years. - she sighed. - Not that I think that's enough... But it was enough for us to find a new home and move away from him, as far as we could.

Beetlejuice waddled closer to her, and layed down as well.

- You know what's the weirdest thing about you, scarecrow? - Ari chuckled.

- Besides the fact that my best buddy is a demon? - BJ laughed a bit too. - No idea, Bug.

- That you're so full of life, and so goddamn annoyingly positive. If you wouldn't tell me, I wouldn't know you had so much shit to deal with. - Ari put her hands up in the air while shrugging.

- Look, I already know how does it feel to die. By the time I turned 19, I decided I'd try how does it feel to be alive. And when I'm not a mess, oh boy, it's so much fun! - Beetlejuice turned to his side and looked at the girl.

- You’re not a mess babes, you’re a... spicy disaster! - Ari laughed. It was so nice to hear that adorable laugh again. BJ looked straight into her emerald eyes that were gleaming in the moonlight. - You know, doll, I'm really sorry for creeping around. If I would've known, I... - he shut up as Ari gestured with her hand.

- You didn't know. It's alright. I hate being followed, but you're so goddamn chatty that it doesn't feel creepy at all. Plus, you're not human, which makes me more comfortable. It's somehow nice to have you weirdo around.

For a couple of minutes, they just laid there, both watching the stars. It was so peaceful, but something still bugged Beetlejuice and he just couldn't let it go.

- Hey, babes? - Ari turned her head to his direction.

- Yeah?

- If he ever finds you, can I kill your ex-boyfriend?