#back on my sims bullshit everyone

[duckinthetrashcan]

yall one of my sims just gave birth to triplets (two boys one girl) and I am FIGHTING the urge to recreate sonic underground right now.

[seokgyuu]

Running a little witch store in a small town, recently the only exciting thing has been Jake visiting your store every other day. While he doesn’t buy anything, his looks are enough to make your days a little less boring. And when he comes in one day, mixing up his offered tea with a very, very powerful aphrodisiac… it is about to get a lot more than just a little less boring. 

Pairing: Neighbor!Jake x Witch!Reader Genre: Porn with almost no plot, Supernatural (as reader is a witch, duh) Warnings: Jake is a bit of an idiot but hot, reader is very sarcastic… are those even warnings? Reader has female anatomy and is described as a woman, pure filth basically, MINORS DNI!!! Smut tags under the cut Word Count: 6k  A/N: Well hello! Happy Halloween everyone! My little last minute Halloween Project is done! First up, thanks to @aaagustd for the AMAZING banner!!! And my lovely @heechwe for betaing! This  work was very, highly, extremely inspired by a clears throat spicy audio that was uploaded literally last night. Could not stop imagining it to be Jake who this happens to… so here we are. The creator’s name is AugustInTheWinter, check out his Patreon or Reddit, I swear it is SO worth it if you’re into audios!! Anyway, thanks August for this inspo and thank you guys for reading! tagging my beloved @yvnempire because she's so excited about this hehe. Please leave comments and/or reblog, it would mean the absolute world! Wanna support me? Here's my Ko-Fi!

Smut Tags: Big dick!Jake, Jake starts nervous and a bit subby, but turns into a beast, handjob, blowjob, face-fucking, facial, p in v sex, unprotected sex (stay safe kids!!), multiple orgasms, loads of cum (like really… so much), dirty talk, degradation (words used: whore, slut, hole, fucktoy etc.) cumplay, cum eating, tell me if i missed anything!

Everything about this town was boring. 

The scenery was boring. The activities were boring. The people were boring.

Just… everything. 

Your coven had sent you here because of the apparent magical aura you so, as they said, “desperately needed to achieve your full potential”. Bullshit, for all you cared. The magical aura might have been strong, but it was so deeply rooted into the earth, you had trouble reaching it even after hours of channeling your own powers. Of course, you didn’t tell them that. All they knew was that you were having a blast in this shithole of a town and had already made tons of friends. 

So far no one had questioned your answers and so you just lived your life, hoping you would soon succeed in attaining the magical power of this place and go back to your normal life. 

Recently, though, you at least had something a little less boring gracing you every other day. Jake Sim - the neighbor from across the street. He was handsome and a little shy and very obviously did not believe magic existed. Not that you cared much about that, no, you had been exposed to many people who didn’t believe in you and your kind, not to mention all the other supernatural beings walking on the face of earth. 

Jake was a non-believer and wonderful to look at and you were fine with that. Content. More than happy. 

As you were brewing some potions a few of the older women around town had ordered (while they also didn’t exactly believe in magic, they at least believed in your ability to brew things that were extremely efficient in their gardens), you found yourself thinking about the pretty man again. About his laugh and his eyes, about the way his shirt would rise up and show a bit of his happy trail leading down to something you could only wish to see fully exposed one day. 

Truthfully, the last time you got laid had been ages ago. So long that you couldn’t even really remember who it was with and where. It was a curse, this town, and seeing a young attractive man stalking into your store a few weeks back had suddenly brought back the desire you had managed to suppress for who knows how long. 

Just then, as you were deep in thought, cutting up some lavender, the door opened and the little bell above it rang, bringing you back to the present. 

“Hi Y/N!” 

Jake had his puppy smile on, hair blown out of his face and a thick coat hanging off his shoulders. He walked over to the counter and you smiled up at him, catching yourself finding his flushed cheeks extremely endearing.

“Jake, welcome. Anything I can do for you today or are just here for another chat about how magic can’t be real?” You tilted your head and gave him a playful smile that he answered with a little laugh.

“Actually, I did come for something today. Mrs. Bloodstean said you have some great tonics for flowers?”

Ah, yes, Mrs, Bloodstean, the woman three houses down who had trouble with her roses. You had helped her and now her roses bloomed all year round. 

“I do indeed, Mr. Sim. What can I get for you?”

“Well, I’ve been having some troubles with my Mandevillas… they don’t seem to wanna bloom as much as, uh, I would like them to.”

His sheepish grin would have made your knees weak if you’d been standing. You nodded and got up, checking the shelves behind you for the potion he’d need to get his flowers to grow and bloom as much as he liked. Eyes roaming over the different bottles, you soon came to the realization you were out and clicked your tongue.

“Seems like I’ll have to brew one. That’s gonna take a couple minutes, do you want some tea while you wait?”

Jake nodded yes and smiled, turning around to do this usual routine through the rows of shelves in your store. From a safe distance, he began to watch you do your thing, cutting up ingredients and throwing them into a miniature cauldron Jake couldn’t help but be amused by. A witch store in the middle of this small town, run by one of the most attractive women Jake had ever laid his eyes on. 

When he had first stumbled in here, he had mistaken it for an alternative medicine shop. While he wasn’t totally wrong, he also wasn’t fully correct. You did offer some remedies and lotions, some potions and tonics, but you also had crystals and salts and books in your many high rising wooden shelves. The first day, he had spent hours just browsing through the books, not thinking of actually buying anything, but somehow being immersed into this world of magic he was so sure could only exist in fiction. 

He hadn’t even noticed someone working at the front behind the counter until he turned to leave, almost stumbling over his feet when he spotted you. You concentrated on a page in an old looking book, biting down onto your tongue that was slightly sticking out of your mouth. You with the prettiest face he had ever seen, that made it so hard to look away. 

After that, he came back every other day, hoping to talk to you, get to know you and maybe ask you out on a date. Of course, he never did because if Jake was anything it was a coward. It didn’t matter that he somehow happened to be handsome, his charisma was in the trenches. 

It was obvious he didn’t see the effect he had on you, which made it even more fun to have him around in your store. You could sense that this man did not have one indecent thought about you while in the store, even when you wore low cut shirts or skirts with slits almost as high as your hip. No, he was a good boy, a sweet boy. The contrast of the two of you was almost comical - you thinking about what it would be like to feel him, to taste him, to push him against a bookshelf and have your way with him and Jake just wanting to man up to ask you out. 

Circling back to the front, Jake saw you hard at work and decided to fill his tea cup by himself, the steaming blue teapot on the right side of the counter. Smiling, he brought the cup to his lips and took a sip, his eyes widening at the sweet taste. 

God, that’s delicious!

The hotness of the drink seemed to fade into the background as the taste spread on his tongue, so sweet and wonderful his eyes almost rolled back, the liquid making his whole body feel warm and fuzzy, and without even noticing he finished the whole cup in one go. 

“Wow, that tea is amazing! What kind is it? I don’t think I’ve ever had it before.” Jake put the cup back down and beamed at you. 

Blinking, you looked up at the brown-haired man, your mind a little slow at catching up with what Jake said. 

“What do you mean?” You asked, brows furrowing slightly.

“The tea you made me, what kind is it?” He repeated, pointing at the teapot next to him. 

Your eyes widened for a brief moment, then you slowly got up.

“How much did you drink of that?” You asked calmly. 

“A whole cup, it’s like so, so good, how-,”

“A whole cup?!” The volume of your voice surprised both of you and Jake’s eyes widened in surprise, his mouth dropping open a little.

“Was that- was I not supposed to? I- I’m sorry, you seemed busy, so I just helped myself.”

You stayed silent for a few seconds. Watching Jake’s confused face, trying to read his thoughts. He had absolutely no idea what he just drank. But you did. 

A grin found its way onto your lips, a grin so diabolical it made Jake’s stomach turn. 

“That’s not your tea, Jakey,” you said, pointing at the teapot he drank from, “your tea is over here.”

Jake followed where your finger pointed next, a small black teapot standing to your left, all done with a cute little pink cup next to it. He blinked a few times.

“Then- then what is this?” He asked, nervousness beginning to spread through his body. Your grin deepened.

“Oh, that? That’s just the very, very powerful aphrodisiac for Mrs. Brown’s husband. See, he can’t really get it up anymore.”

Silence. Jake felt like the whole world had suddenly gone silent at your words. But then he remembered where he was, who you were and how incredibly unlikely it was that this really worked. So, he snorted.

“Right. An aphrodisiac in the form of tea, I’m sure that’s gonna work wonders with Mr. Brown.”

“Not just him, but you too, you know,” you began to walk around the counter, stopping when you reached the other side, leaning against it with crossed arms, “and you’re only supposed to drink one sip of it. You, dear Jakey, drank a whole fucking cup.”

Honestly, Jake still didn’t believe you. Or at least he thought he didn’t. But something about the way you looked at him almost made him falter. He laughed and shook his head.

“Come on, Y/N, I’m not an idiot. This obviously isn’t going to work, it’s a hoax, we all know it’s a hoax.”

“Is it though, Jake? Is it really a hoax?”

“What? Of course it is! Magic isn’t real, can’t be real, this tea surely won’t help Mr. Brown get an erection and I, my friend, more than anything, will not get aroused by some fake viag-,”

Oh shit. Jake couldn’t help the deep moan escaping his throat when he suddenly felt the hardest wave of pleasure hit his body. He almost dropped to his knees, his cock growing harder by the second, pressing against the seam of his jeans, making them uncomfortably tight. 

“You won’t get aroused, Jake? Yes? Is that right?” You were having the time of your life. This was better than anything you could have ever predicted. By Mystra, how could you have forgotten about the tea for Mrs. Brown? And how lucky were you for Jake to mistake it as his own? You couldn’t believe your luck. 

“What the fuck is going on?” Jake groaned now, his chest heaving and you tilted your head again, watching sweat form on the handsome man’s forehead. His pupils were blown and his face flushed and, fuck, did he look good. 

“I would say the potion is kicking in. How does it feel?” You bit your lip, watching Jake struggle to find words for what was happening inside… and outside of him.

“I- well, oh fuck, it, uhm, it feels… it feels like, like I’ve never- like it’s so.. it’s so h-hard, you know?”

“Hm, I don’t think I do. Perhaps you can show me, just so I can check if it all looks normal?”

Jake’s cock twitched at that. You wanted to see? Check if it looked normal? Another moan made its way through his lips and it sounded so utterly pathetic you felt yourself drip into your panties.

“Wh- what do you mean “normal”? C-Could it look, like, n-not normal?” He was sweating. A part of him really wanted you to see, to check, to maybe even touch him, but another felt shy, didn’t want this to happen before taking you out to a nice dinner, maybe even a movie and- 

Fuck, who was he kidding? 

“I don’t know, that’s why I wanna check. Will you show me, Jakey?” 

“F-fine, b-but only to check!” His cheeks were on fire at this point. His cheeks on fire and his cock hard as a rock, aching and throbbing and probably aggressively red at the tip. 

That last prediction proved to be correct when he pulled down his pants and briefs at once, his cock springing free, standing harder and prouder than he had ever seen it. He whimpered at the sight. 

And you? You almost fell to your knees, itching to touch him, to lick over the tip that was already leaking so, so miserably. Oh good lord. Your teeth sank into your bottom lip again and you swallowed hard, eyes glued to the huge cock Jake had been hiding from you.

“Is it- is it always this big?” You asked, not even looking into Jake’s face anymore.

“Well, n-not when it’s not, uhm, you know… h-hard.���

“So it’s this size even when no potion is involved?” You wanted to know.

“Y-yeah, that didn’t change.”

“Holy fuck,” you mumbled, your hand wanting to grab around him so badly, but you contained yourself. 

“What- what can we do? Like is there an antidote? Can I- can I drink another potion? Or maybe there is, uhm, fuck, a spell or something?”

You chuckled.

“Now you believe in spells, Jakey? Funny timing,” finally, you raised your head to look at him again, “but no, there is no antidote. Like I said, it’s made to help get it up and given in a specific dose. But you, my dear, drank probably thrice as much as necessary.”

“So what does that mean? I- I can’t just go home like this!”

He was right about that. Everyone would see him sporting the largest boner known to mankind. And right now, you decided, this was only for your eyes. 

“I think the best way to deal with it is to, frankly speaking, empty it.”

Stars seemed to dance around Jake’s head when you spoke, the image of you rubbing his cock, sucking on it or even bouncing on it to empty him of all his cum… he twitched aggressively. 

“S-so, wh-what are you sug-suggesting?” His heart was speeding in chest and he was trying his hardest not to jump to conclusions. 

Yet another devilish grin spread on your lips as you raised your hand and snapped your fingers, closing the blinds of the storefront window and locking the door all at once. In any other situation, Jake would have been freaked out, but right now all he could concentrate on was the way you pushed yourself off the counter and looked at him from head to, well, problem.

“I am suggesting, Jake, that it would only be right of me to help you out.”

Jake swallowed hard, glued to where he was standing, his cock still so unbelievably hard, still aching and throbbing and in desperate need of attention. 

As you lowered yourself, knees soon hitting the wooden floor, he couldn’t take his eyes off you.

“Do you want me to help you out?”

“God, yes, please.”

And there it was. All that you needed to finally bring your hand to his cock. He immediately moaned, head falling back as his hips moved forward, thrusting into your grip. You chuckled as you slowly began to move, bringing your thumb to his tip, gathering all of the already leaking precum to use as lubricant. 

It already brought you immense pleasure, jerking him off. Staring up at him, seeing nothing but pure lust and desperation on his face. You were throbbing between your legs, wetness building up more every passing moment. 

“Fuuuuuck, yeah, j-just like that, oh wow.” 

Jake felt like he had never been touched like this before. Every bit of friction against his skin was like the first time. Every inch you touched with your hand was burning, sparkling with something he could only describe as magic. He couldn’t stop the desperate moans even if he tried, couldn’t stop his hips chasing your hand, thrusting into it like a mad man. 

“Faster, please!” He cried out and you obeyed, speeding up your hand. Your eyes were glued to his cockhead then, watching how precum kept leaking, drips landing on your floor or the briefs that were hanging around his ankles with his jeans. 

You worked your hand faster, having trouble closing it around his big shaft and finally adding the second, working him at double speed with his cockhead still peaking out. 

God, how would he feel inside you? 

Two hands around his cock and Jake could sense a first orgasm approaching. He thrusted his hips, fucking both of your hands, eyes rolled back into his skull, the pleasure completely taking over.

“Yeah, yeah, just like that, fuck, fuck, I am fucking your hands so good, shit!” He didn’t know where to put his energy, switching between moaning and whining and saying his incoherent thoughts out loud, feeling himself leak onto your hands. He wondered what you’d do when he came, if you’d just let him come right onto you or if you’d point it elsewhere. 

“Feel good, Jakey? You look so hot, so, so good for me.” You stared up at him, batting your eyelashes and finally Jake looked down at you, his spit catching in his throat. You looked insane with his cock in your hands, your face wild and determined, a small grin on your lips that made his cock twitch once more. The whimper escaping him must have been the single most arousing thing you had ever heard. 

“I’m gonna come, I’m s-so close,” he cried and you nodded, licking over your lips.

“Yeah, come for me, wanna see you come, Jakey.”

When he had said yes to you helping him out, he sure as hell had not expected dirty talk to be involved and, shit, was he happy it was. His mouth fell open wider, eyes glossy and focused on your face. He knew it was going to be a lot, knew he’s going to shoot the biggest load of his life onto you in a few heartbeats.

“C-Coming, oh- shit!” 

When he came, he came. Cum spurted out his cock, and you didn’t even think about letting a drop go to waste. The first load landed on your neck and collarbones, dripped down your cleavage and over your breasts, the second you managed to catch with your tongue slurping it down like a five-star meal. The third landed on your cheeks and chin, some on your neck, joining his already left mark. 

Jake truly couldn’t believe his eyes. You, the woman he had been thinking about asking out for weeks now, covered in and eating his cum. Another little bit of cum dribbled out his cock and you caught it perfectly with the tip of your tongue, causing Jake to groan desperately. 

He was still so fucking hard. Still desperate for more.

“I need more, I’m still so hard, please.” His pleasing eyes and slightly trembling lips made the picture in front of you perfect. Jake, big cock full on display, still hard from the potion he had drank by pure accident, his first orgasm so powerful he had shot three loads onto you, was now begging you for more. 

And you were more than eager to make every wish of his come true. 

“Since you said please…,” you grinned, leaning forward, not giving a damn about the seed currently drying on your skin, and flicking your tongue against his tip, his hand almost immediately moving to grip the back of your head.  “God, yes, yes, please take it into your mouth, fuck, please!”

His wish was your command. 

Your lips closed around his tip, sucking on it just slightly, tongue gliding over his sensitive slit, tasting his bittersweet taste, wondering if maybe the potion had altered something about it. Next, you moved your head forward, taking more of him into your mouth, feeling the veins of his cock press against your tongue. A moan erupted through you, the arousal almost too much to bear at this point. 

“Ohhhh, god, yes, take it, take it deeper, shit.” His hips moved, pushing more of him into your mouth. He seemed to vibrate, seemed to fit perfectly into your wet heat, tip hitting the back of your throat and causing you to gag, spit dripping from his shaft down to the floor. Your hands grabbed the back of his thighs, steading yourself as he began to thrust down your throat. 

“Holy fuck, that’s right, gag on my cock, gag on it, fuck.”

It must have been the potion speaking because he wasn’t usually this vocal. But then again, he had never had anyone take his cock down their throat as well as you were doing right now. Gagging and spitting and tearing up, but nothing in your face showed discomfort. No, you were thriving on this and Jake felt your arousal in the air, felt it mixing with his and he sped up his hips, both hands now holding your head in place as he let out the most beautiful moan you had ever heard. 

He shoved you down his cock completely now, his balls hitting your chin as he fucked your mouth like it was the last thing he’d ever do. Drool mixed with his precum dribbled down your chin, tears began to stream down your face, your eyes rapidly blinking as you watched him lose all of his composure. You wished to keep this memory engraved into your brain for all of your life.

Jake was in a rush, in a complete trance, fucking down your throat, feeling your tongue against his shaft, your throat restricting around him, your gags and chokes turning him on even more. Somehow, with every thrust closer to his release, he felt the tension rise up more. 

What the fuck even was in that potion? 

It hit him then, his second orgasm, thrusts becoming sloppier, quicker, accompanied by desperate moans, whimpers and groans. 

You managed to swallow it all, the load just as huge as during his first orgasm, shot after shot down your throat, your eyes growing wide while you sucked him dry, or at least attempted to.

“Swallow it all, yes, yes, fuck, come on, come on! Take it all, I know you want to, fuck!” 

There was no control left in his body, the potions effect taking over completely. 

He emptied his cock into your mouth and pulled out when he at least thought it was over, only for another wave to hit him and land on your skin again. He felt like an artist painting an already perfect canvas with his own visions. 

“S-sorry, fuck,” He breathed hard, watching you slowly get up, your face wild and stained with his seed as well as your own tears. Your eyes were red, pupils blown and with every gaze you shared, he knew you wanted him as much as he wanted you. He swallowed and looked down, seeing his cock still hard, still throbbing and aching. Would this ever end?

“I need more, need more,” he mumbled, stumbling forward and grabbing your hips roughly. You moaned at his touch, your fingers gliding over your chest to pick up some of his cum and shove it into your mouth, sucking them clean. He swore under his breath.

“Do you want to fuck me, Jakey?” You asked then, voice sweet like honey, but body looking so breathtakingly filthy. 

“Want to, need to, have to,” he replied, moving to lick some of his own cum off your neck. You moaned at that surprising action, pussy throbbing and dripping. Without another thought, you dipped forward, pressing your lips against his. He kissed you back right away, tongue shoving into your mouth and he could taste himself even more on your tongue. His hands ripped open the corset-dress you were wearing, freeing your tits from their prison and immediately moving to grab them.

You hopped onto the counter then, pulling him closer, legs hooking around his waist. He kissed you hungrily, tongue and teeth and spit and hotness all mixed together. You shoved his coat off his shoulders and opened the buttons of his shirt, but he stopped you.

“No time, need to be inside you now.” He basically growled, fingers simultaneously finding your panties and ripping them off of you just like he had your dress. You spread your legs further, ready for him, more ready than you had ever been. 

Jake knew he had reached heaven right then. Grabbing his cock and bringing it to your drenched pussy, pushing into your awaiting entrance and feeling you grip him, pulling him closer. He cried out, whimpered into your ear and continued to suck on your skin, cleaning you off of his seed all while working to bottom out.

And when he was finally buried to the hilt, he only paused for a second to take it all in, before beginning to fuck into you at a brutal pace. Your fingers clawed into his shoulders, mouth dropping open as your head tipped back and high pitched moans crawled out of your throat over and over. 

“So fucking tight, taking me so fucking well, such a dirty fucking slut.” Jake bit your neck and you cried out once more, your whole body shaking with pleasure as he continued to fuck you. There was nothing you could compare to what was happening right now. No one had ever fucked you as good, as hard and as fulfilling as Jake. 

Just when you thought it couldn’t get any better than this, Jake pulled out of you and grabbed your waist, heaving you off the counter only to spin your around and push you down onto it, your ass up in the air.

“Sorry, need to fuck you like this.”

Back in he went - full speed, full force. The counter shook under you and you gasped when he began to thrust. His cock dragged against your walls, split you open so beautifully it felt like you were going to burst. You threw your ass back at him, clawing at the edge of the counter, eyes falling shut as you let yourself enjoy the way he drilled into you.

There was a high chance Jake was going to grow addicted to this feeling. Never had he ever had sex as good as this and perhaps this was courtesy of the potion - or maybe it was just you. You with the perfect pussy, the perfect mouth, the perfect hands. Everything about you seemed to heighten his arousal, seemed to get him closer from the edge all while pushing him even further away from it. 

He could do this for hours, fuck you until he came, spill his seed in you over and over, watch how it spilled out. God, he wanted to see your pussy stuffed with his cum so bad. Watching his cock slip in and out of you, hearing the noises you made, it was almost too much.

“You’re my perfect little hole, aren’t you? Just made to be fucked like this,” he couldn’t help himself, grabbing your hips even rougher and spitting down to make it even wetter. Not that that was really necessary. You were dripping down his cock as well as your own thighs and Jake swore he would never recover. 

“Fuck, Jake!” You cried out, hip trying desperately to move while he held you, eyes opening only to roll back as your orgasm hit you like a brutal wave.

“Shit, are you gonna come on my cock, slut?” Jake saw red as he felt your pussy spasm around him, pulling him even deeper, squeezing him for all he had, wanting to milk him dry of his load. 

And who was he to deny such a request?

“Come inside me, Jake, please, please, please!”

You had sensed his orgasm and he let out a growl, finally filling your pussy with his load just as you hit your second high right after the first. Once again, it didn’t stop, it just kept on coming, his cum landing inside you and already dripping out as he fucked both of you through your orgasms, filthy sounds filling the air next to both of your moans and groans and pleads for more. 

Jake had expected to be done after three, but no, he was still hard, and so he grabbed your wrists and held them behind your back, standing up straighter as he picked up the speed once more.

“Need another one, baby, just one more, fuck, m-maybe two, I just- fuck, I am so hard, I need to fuck you more, wanna fuck you all night, need to fuck your pussy.”

There was nothing left in his brain except for the need to come, for the need to fuck you. He was like an animal during heat, felt like he was going to explode. His cock was so incredibly sensitive, hurting even at this point, but it was addictive, you were addictive. Just the thought of not being inside of you anymore filled him with something close to agony. 

“Y-yes, fu-fuck me Jake, your cock feels so good, s-so big!”

At this point you could have taken the potion yourself judging by how you were feeling and talking. Normally, you were the one in charge, the one on top. But with Jake? You enjoyed being in his hands like this, enjoyed being used by him for his pleasure. You wanted him to fill you up, to split you open, to do with you whatever the hell he wanted. 

“God, yes, like my big cock fucking you open like that? Such a good behaved little whore, isn’t that right?” He found himself slapping your ass, and judging by your reaction that had been the exactly right thing to do. He groaned when he felt you squeeze him again, both hands back to holding your hands in place.

He lost himself in you. Lost himself in the pleasure. And you lost yourself in him and the need to have him fill you up again and again. 

His fourth orgasm made his cock soften a little. He filled you to the brim, watched the majority drip down your legs, forming a little puddle to your feet and he licked his lips, letting go of your hands and pulling out of you, turning you back around and placing you back on top of the counter. 

“Lean back,” he ordered and you did as wanted, eyes wide and pussy throbbing from the last orgasm a few seconds ago. 

You leaned back on your elbows, watching him position himself between your legs. He grabbed his cock and placed it in between your lips - to thrust in between them, cockhead repeatedly hitting your clit. You gasped, body jerking forward.

“Wanna paint your whole body with my cum, stay still.” His big hands grabbed your hips, pinning you to the counter as he began to thrust his cock over your pussy, the friction already enough to almost make him come again. 

“Mhmm, y-yes, f-feels good!” You cried and he grinned, continuing his spiel like a madman. 

“You’re so sexy, so fucking sexy, baby.” He breathed out, his brain slowly but surely coming back to him. And when he heard that little noise you apparently always made before you came (if he could trust the two orgasms from earlier), he felt himself reach the edge as well. 

Your head fell back when you felt the next orgasm hit and your pussy ached for more when his next load landed all over your stomach, even reaching as far as your tits, painting you just like he had wanted. 

The canvas was finished.

But Jake wasn’t.

“Fuck, I’m sorry, so sorry, I need to-,” his head was fuming red, and he moved back a little, just to dip his cock back into your spent pussy and you fell flat onto your back, your head hanging over the counter. 

He fucked you like a ragdoll, like a toy, like he didn’t even really acknowledge you were still there. He pressed down onto your stomach and sped up, tried to fuck you deeper. He imagined he could feel his cock through your skin, imagined he could see himself fucking you just like that. 

“S-so deep!” You cried out and he looked at you, at your body, and nodded, watching now how your tits jumped at every thrust. They were stained with his cum as well and he hoped he would never forget this image. 

“One more, promise, just one more, my perfect little fucktoy, yeah?”

His words were so filthy, so desperate and full of need, they made your pussy spasm again, made you grip him hard over and over again. 

“That’s it, fuck! Gonna come, gonna come, shit, sh-shit! Take my cum, take it, yes, yes!” He was in a spiral downwards, then back up and back down - his last orgasm hitting him like a fucking brick, yet another load landing inside your pussy - one, two, three. His cock twitched and twitched and finally began to soften. 

When he pulled out, he fell backwards, landing on the floor, his eyes wide and his ass hurting. 

The potion slowly lost its grip on him, his normal, coherent thoughts coming back all while he was getting down from his many, many highs. 

You pulled yourself up in exhaustion, your chest heaving. When you sat up straight again, you couldn’t help but chuckle at Jake on the floor. 

“Need a hand?” You asked, carefully jumping off the counter and finding that your legs were nothing but mere jelly. Quickly, you grabbed onto the edges of the surface and found your balance again.

“I- I-,” Jake began to stutter, his eyes probably the size of saucers by now. You grinned.

“You?” You raised a brow. Jake’s face turned crimson.

“I- I’m sorry, I-,”

“You’re apologizing? For what? The best sex I’ve ever had?” You snorted, “No, Jakey, no need to apologize.” 

Jake bit the inside of his cheeks. Best sex you’ve ever had? While he wanted to feel proud, he wasn’t so sure if that really had been him having sex with you or if the potion had a mind of its own. 

“Don’t worry your pretty little head,” you moved forward now, stretching your hand out for Jake to take, “the potion only strengthens what’s already there. It doesn’t change your personality, it just makes you give less fucks.”

Had you read his mind? Jake cleared his throat and nodded slowly, before taking your hand and letting you help him up. 

Only then, when he was standing so close to you again, did he realize you were still covered in his seed. He turned even redder.

“Oh, right.” You giggled, closing your eyes and once again snapping your fingers. 

Immediately, you were clean of his cum and back in your dress - which had also magically repaired itself. Jake also found himself back in his briefs and jeans, his coat safely hanging over the counter. His mouth dropped.

“You-,”

“Are an actual witch, correct, Sherlock.” You winked at him and walked back to the other side of the counter, “Now, do you still need that potion?”

Jake stared at you for a second.

“Y-yes,” he mumbled, watching as you quickly finished the preparations. He didn’t dare say anything, his heart beating at triple speed and his brain working overtime. He had just fucked you. For like… a good while. And he didn’t even have your phone number.

“There you go,” you smiled and carefully shoved the bottle with the potion over the counter, “just pour a few drops over your flowers tonight. You should already see some results in the morning.”

“Th-thanks. How much do I owe you?”

“Oh, Jakey. You already paid me enough.” You said cheekily and Jake found himself choking on his own spit.

When he walked out he regretted not asking you for your number. Or if you wanted to go on a date. 

But that night, when he got ready to put the potion to its use, he saw a little note stuck to the label he hadn’t seen before.

Tomorrow, 8 o’clock at your place. I promise I’ll bring wine that won’t make you wanna fuck me for hours. It’s a date! Also here’s my number: xxx-xxx-xxx. See you tomorrow, loverboy!

Jake found himself laughing out loud. 

And while he did his work in the garden, he thought that just because the wine wouldn’t be the reason, he sure as hell would not mind fucking you for hours at least twice every day for the rest of his life.

[giuseppe-yuki]

I just had a stupid thought, just imagine somwone maybe new at Mercedes was bitching at kimi and hia huge tiger girlfriend sitting behind them just waiting for them to finsih and everyone around them snickering

no thought is a stupid thought! i love to receive asks from readers :)

lord help the soul who thinks he’s “better” than kimi just because he’s older and has more “experience” in the field of racing.

kimi antonelli x tiger shapeshifter!gf

kimi nods, trying to be be polite as the man in front of him elaborates on his skill and practice on the sim brig.

“…since i was literally a baby,” the engineer points out, exaggeratedly gesturing with his arms. “that’s why i know for a fact that you should not be turning like that on turn 4- you should take the outside line.”

scrunching his eyebrows in confusion, kimi blinks at the man in confusedly. “um…okay.”

your boyfriend swivels around on his chair in the garage, trying to end the conversation. however, being too polite to just walk away, he has no choice but to sit there, enduring the ‘words of wisdom’ from this newly hired engineer that everybody knew gave out the most bullshit advice. several long-term engineers shoot him looks of pity at their desks after seeing him trapped in the impractical conversation.

that’s why he brightens up like the sun peeking out behind a cloud when you flounce into the garage in the following moments, pressing a kiss onto his cheek when you reach him.

“hi kimi,” you giggle, ruffling his curls with your hand. “working hard?”

he smiles at you, nodding. “yep! i’m designing mercedes’ next championship winning car,” he jokes.

you laugh, before a voice behind you speaks up. “do you mind? i was just giving him tips on how to drive better out there. it’s simple, really.”

whipping around, you come face to face with a rather young looking lad, who you suppose to be the infamous new-hire that everyone despises.

“oh, sorry,” you say, not feeling sorry at all. “did i cut you off from your conversation with kimi?”

“yeah,” the engineer says, with an air of confidence around him. “i was informing him on the many things he should do better on next time on track. i’ll have you know i have years of experience.”

the gall of this man, you think. that’s no way to talk to my boyfriend.

and when you thought the engineer could be even more repulsive, he opens his mouth yet again.

“by the way, i don’t know how you even got in the garage, but fans are supposed to stay in the paddock,” he sniffs, as if repulsed by the thought of a random kimi enthusiast in the mercedes garage.

even the nearby merc employees raise an eyebrow to the overly-cocky engineer’s comment. it was pretty much common knowledge of your position as kimi’s girlfriend in the paddock, showing up to nearly every event to support him. besides, you literally just gave your boyfriend a kiss on the cheek- a fan couldn’t have possibly done that.

your boyfriend jumps off of his seat, ready to defend you.

“hey! this is my-“ he begins, but you cut him off, squeezing his arm gently.

“really?” you gasp, eyes wide with faux surprise. “i am so sorry! i just wanted a signature from kimi- i had no idea!”

giving you a look of disgust, the engineer gestures behind him towards the exit. “yeah, yeah, dumb mistake, whatever,- just go that way, and make sure to read the signs next time.”

ignoring kimi’s look of surprise and the snickers of knowing engineers, you take your leave from the garage. behind you, you hear the engineer snort. “eugh, fans these days…always so overeager to meet their idols, am i right?”

yeah, someone should really stop you before you bit his head off.

you pad back into the garage several minutes later, in your tiger form. you had to teach this stupid guy a lesson. gingerly stepping around tires and spare parts, you weave your way through groups of merc employees and engineers. of course, being used to your presence, they give you a few pets on your head.

you hear the engineer’s voice before you see him.

“i also want to say, your tyre management is- how do i put this nicely- horrible.”

turning the corner, you spot a miserable looking kimi picking at his fingernails as he half-listens to the arrogant man in front of him.

at the sight of your aggressive figure- a total 180 from your usual shyer demeanor, the employees surveying the scene start to quietly snicker again.

hearing the laughs, the engineers mistakenly believes that they are laughing with him instead of at him.

“see, even they agree with me,” he chuckles at kimi. “you really should be working on managing your tires on track.”

unable to take it anymore, you sprint towards kimi, purposely nudging the engineer’s chair, knocking it off balance by a little. you nudge your large head underneath kimi’s hand, demanding pets.

the egotistic engineer yelps, almost falling off the tall stool. somehow being the only one not having seen kimi’s ’pet tiger’ before, he stutters out, “a-a-a- tiger!” before fleeing to the opposite of the garage.

you growl at him, purposely flashing your sharp canines at him. it makes you feel smug when he shrinks back even more, cowering behind a spare tire.

kimi rolls his eyes at the man’s extreme reaction. “maybe,” he says pointedly to the engineer while stroking your fur, “instead of you giving me pointers on how to do my literal job, i should be giving you pointers how to control your emotions. like, what are you so scared of? it’s just a tiger!”

when you roar again at the engineer to emphasize kimi’s point, you are pretty sure the engineer nearly pees himself.

[deathbypufferfish]

Puffer's Random Townie Generator! 🎲

Hey y'all, I'm back on my bullshit! 😋 This time I've made a random townie generator for the purpose of townie makeovers! But obviously this can be used for whatever you want. This generator includes all expansion and game packs with pre-made sims. (Except Batuu. I will never include it.) The world a sim comes from is designated by a corresponding emoji. The hidden sims can be found on the gallery 👍

Hopefully everyone can use this as a fun little CAS Challenge! If you do, I'd love to be tagged to see. Have fun!

Link Here! (mobile friendly)

[heeverseblog]

body on me- jake sim au

pairing: pastor’s son!jake x church girl! reader

synopsis: everyone sees you and jake as the perfect, god-fearing couple of your town. but what they didn’t know was you’re not as innocent as you seem to be.

 genre: smut, established relationship, pwp i guess????

warnings: semi-public sex, a bit of church themes (skip this fic if you’re uncomfortable), y/n’s mother is kind of a bad mother

listen to this to amp up the spice:

*read below*

“Food for the stomach and the stomach for food, and God will destroy them both.” The body, however, is not meant for sexual immorality but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.

your mother reads the verse before closing the bible, “remember children, your body does not belong to anyone else. it only belongs to the lord our god. if you ever enter marriage, remember that you do not own your spouse’s body. it is the lord’s and his alone.”

everyone nods their heads. you, however, didn’t and your mother must have noticed this.

“right, y/n?”

bullshit.

 you nod your head.

“that is all for today. remember to write your own reflection essays and we will be sharing them next week.”

everyone said their farewells. you stayed behind to help fix the chairs. the other kids from the different circle helped you too. including the pastor’s son, jake.

you lifted one chair to put it on top of the other. you were surprised when a hand held yours. that hand with prominent veins belonged to one person only.

 “hi.” jake smiles innocently at you and you gave him the same sweet smile.

everyone was familiar of the status you both had. being the pastor’s son and the daughter of the head of the church group. every kid looked up to you two, being the sweet, god-fearing couple.

but what people didn’t know is that your innocent gazes are merely a façade of your true desires.

you kept staring at jake’s veiny hands. with his sleeves rolled up, you were getting more turned on.

judging by how you were looking at him, jake leans closer to your ear, “follow me.”

***

your back was pushed to the wall of the stockroom as jake attacked you with harsh kisses. you pull him closer to you as the intense feeling began to build up. jake placed his knee on your clothed core and you began grinding on it.

“oh god!”

“y/n, we shouldn’t use the lord’s name in vain.”

you fastened your movements which made jake groan before he kisses your neck then back to your lips. he bites your lower lip and enters his tongue once you opened your mouth.

“j-jake…a-aah!”

jake unbuttons your blouse then fondles your breasts. next, he unclasps your bra and lets it fall on the floor. you tug on jake’s shirt and he began unbuttoning it. both of you were bare and you slowly touched each other’s bodies with admiration.

“you’re so beautiful.” jake says before diving back into your mouth. he slid one of his fingers in your pussy and you moaned at the feeling. you can feel yourself releasing your juices as jake fastens his pace.

“jake. p-please.” you whine and jake just lets out this breathy laugh. he kept drawing circles in your clit and you couldn’t help but roll your eyes back due to the pleasure.

 “anything for my angel.”

jake gets on his knees and doesn’t waste time in eating you out. you hiss at the feeling of him making

“o-ooh!”

jake immediately unbuckles his belt and when his member was on display. he removes your panties then inserts himself inside you. both of you groan at the feeling before you slowly grind your hips forward.

“f-fuck…”

“you sound hot when cursing.” you say out of breath and wrap your legs on jake’s waist.

jake turns you around and you felt more euphoric than ever. you knew jake liked it when you take him from behind and you love him for remembering that about you.

“s-so close…a-aah!” you held one of your breasts, hoping it’ll stimulate your orgasm but jake immediately grabs your hand and holds it instead.

jake presses his chest on your back and both of you were basically out of breath

“who do you belong to?” jake whispers in your ear.

“y-you. i-i’m only yours.”

jake continues pounding you from behind and reached for his head and brushed your fingers on his hair.

“are you mine, jakey?”

jake growls in your ear “i’ll always be yours,” and pounds harder behind you.

“o-ooh! shit!”

you turn your head and jake gave you a passionate kiss as he slow down his pace, both of you reaching your highs.

both of you took slow breaths, pulling each other closer to feel the intimacy and warmth of your bodies together.

“i love you.” you say in between breaths. you can feel jake smile at you from behind and he kisses the side of your head.

“i love you. you did so well for me.”

minutes later, both of you changed back into your clothes but the sexual mood hasn’t gone yet.

jake hugged you from behind and gave you wet kisses on the side of your neck.

“jake…”

you can feel his hands going inside the skirt of your dress and touch the waistband of your panties.

“jake, we literally just had sex.”

“but i’ll be away for a week. i’m going to miss you.”

you chuckle and turn around, “you can always call me,” then you lean into jake’s ear, “and we can talk all night long.”

you can see jake’s ears turn red, “and have my dad hear our noises in a church retreat? no, thank you.”

jake kisses you slow, his hand holding your back. you let out a soft moan when jake brushes his lips at your neck.

“only i get to hear those pretty noises.” jake says in between breaths.

 “jake, really…we have to go.”

jake pouts and you couldn’t help but melt and give him another kiss. it would be a sin to lie that you weren’t needy over jake as he is with you.

“don’t know how i’ll survive the week without you.”

“should i just tell my dad i’m sick?”

“no, you have to go. and if you are sick, who’s going to take care of you?”

“hm…let me guess. you.”

both of you ended up doing a cute make out that soon turned into a lustful one.

later on, you ended up giving each other oral and one more round with you riding on jake as you rock your hips fast. you cover his mouth from his moans and constant pleases, smiling that finally it was you making him beg for you.

but sadly, both of you went back after your session or else your mother will go frantic with you missing.

“y/n, dear.” your mother calls you, being happy when she sees you with jake.

“we’ve been looking for you. where have you been?”

“y/n was helping me organize the documents, mrs. l/n.”

“oh is that so? well, you know my daughter. always one to help with people’s needs.”

you can see jake smirking, knowing he understood that statement in a different way.

“jake, son.”

jake’s mother calls him and tells him that they’ll be heading home.

“excuse me.”

jake passes by you and your mother and subtly brushes his finger on yours. you both look at each other before parting your separate ways.

[ladybugsimblr]

Q: I don’t need the Bailey Kay Superstar Social Media Special. Maybe an assistant, so I don’t miss out on a dope opportunity because my inbox is flooded with enthusiastic butterflies. BK: Aht Aht! This is not about the Hive! This is about the thirsties slipping and sliding into your dms. My butterflies know how to act. Q: Oh really?! BK: Yes really.

Q: That’s funny because… let me see… here… Yeah I definitely got nudes from… wildbutterfly and a sexybfly4liiiife with four i’s. BK: So we’re keeping messages with nudes now, Quinton??? Q: Damn. The government?? Penny, help! Penny: You two are hilarious. This is quality entertainment. Maybe we should reconsider the reality show. BK&Q: NO!

BK: What’s with the face sir? Are we boring you? Khalil: I’m just wondering when we’re gonna talk about the elephant in the room. BK: ( Shit. How does he know?? ) Penny: Khalil, now is not the time. We’re celebrating. Q: No, get it off your chest because you’re definitely killing the vibe.

-

This was wordy so continue reading below…

Khalil: Look, I gave in with the residency decision, but I’m not rolling over on this retirement thing. I think it’s stupid and a huge fucking mistake. BK: Well damn. Khalil: I don’t get it B. You love this. Music is life. Performing is life. Your fans. All of it. Why would you stop now? BK: You’re right. I do love it. And music has been my life, but I’ve done it all. I’ve accomplished every one of my goals when it comes to being an entertainer. I’m ready to move on.

Khalil: This is crazy. You’re at the top of your game. Now is when you cement your legend status. All the greats are still recording and performing into their adult years, some even elders! BK: I hear you, but right now I just want to do things on my terms and time. I want to focus on my family. I want to help other artists make their dreams come true. Maybe even discover something else I love. Khalil: This industry moves fast. You know that. If you quit, there’s no guarantee you’ll get your spot back. Everyone will move on to the next hot thing. BK: I’m not worried about that. If I come back it will be out of love for the music. I don’t need to chase the fame and the top spot anymore.

Khalil: Did you forget about the 2 albums left on your contract? BK: No, I- Q: Are you really bringing up contracts right now?! Khalil: No one is listening to logic so yes I’m talking about legal obligations. Q: Clearly you didn't hear one thing she just said. You’re still only worried about what she can do for you.

Khalil: Q, stay in your lane. I don’t tell you how to do your job. Don’t tell me how to do mine. Q: Maybe you should think about something else other than the job. There is more to life. Khalil: Here you go with your speeches on family life. Focusing on the job got me, your wife and you the success you have now. You conveniently forget that. The family sim thing is for you. That’s great. But let me and B do what we do best and make sure we all stay winning. BK: It doesn’t have to be an either or situation. Both can be possible. Khalil: Retirement is not both. Retirement is quitting and that’s not the Global Superstar BK that I signed. It’s sounding like Bailey being influenced by Quinton.

Q: I don't like your tone. BK: Khalil, you’re about to cross a line and we really don’t have to go there. Khalil: I’m just being real because you two are not thinking straight. I swear you must be pregnant or something because that’s the only time you come at me with the home life work life balance shit. But even you two wouldn’t be that reckless.

*crickets*

Penny: Bailey… Khalil: Are you fucking kidding me?!

BK: We- Khalil: This is bullshit. I’m out. Penny: Khalil!

[theendorisit]

magnus protocol season 1 final part - praise and credits

all right my haunted maggot clowns, Season 1 is OVER, we are at our Magnus protocol hiatus until FEB 2025 and you know what that means?

No, not hysterical weeping! 

It’s time to recap the last ten episodes, epilogue and fluff of Season 1, so SPOILERS AHOY!! Including TMA Spoilers. If you haven’t listened, come back later! Ok? Ok!

Part 1 (eps 1-20) is here:

All praises to the guest writers:

Harlan Guthrie, for more of his work visit https://www.malevolent.ca/

Alex C Telander, for more of his work visit https://ostiumnetwork.com/

Muna Hussen, for more of her work visit https://www.thesiltverses.com/ I honestly cannot rave enough about how much I adore The Silt Verses, strongly recommend to everyone. 

If you have enjoyed the guest writers, I also recommend the Nine To Midnight annual series, lots of writers, all brought together by Harlan Guthrie: https://linktr.ee/ninetomidnight - Check it out! This years halloween episode is GOING TO BE AMAZING!

The Magnus Protocol Episode 21 – Breaking Ground

CAT2RBC4254-04011998-12042024 Architecture (landmark) -/- corruption (entropy)

Written by Jonathan Sims 

Script Editing by Alexander J Newall 

Thoughts: Intriguing case, I enjoyed it thoroughly, though as a Brit it is very disconcerting hearing about the millennium dome in a horror context. It’s like a fleshy bouncy castle. Spooky, but also plain weird. Hello, Dr Welling. Of course the star of this episode is the consequences of Gwen trying (failing) to be authoritarian. Delightful escalation of Ink5oul’s powers, as the mere presence of a tattoo can be manipulated. I adore Magnus stories for the implications they provide - what might a scorpion tattoo do, hmmm? Crawl under the skin? After all, some scorpions can burrow up to 2m underneath the surface, using complex tunnels. Sting and sting and sting again until death? Mind you, some scorpions only paralyse their prey, before they feast. The compulsion scene is delightful, amazing performance by Anusia, and ALL OF THEM, MINE: So amazing, giving me shivers. All of them: All people? All normies? All OIAR? We’re back in the terror, the horror, the mystery, compelling statements again. 

The Magnus Protocol Episode 22 - Mixed Signals

CAT13RBC4488-14121924-15042024 Experiment (brain) -/- imprisonment (existential)

Written by Jonathan Sims 

Script Editing by Alexander J Newall 

Thoughts: I love existential horror. What makes a person a person after all? If there’s someone screaming in pain and terror and loneliness but you never hear them, see them, know of them - do you know, or care, of their personhood at all? Also, as with Archives, the question of why we’re hearing about certain cases is floating in the air. There are certainly voices speaking in the void, yet unable to make themselves heard. Office tensions are rising, we are getting some juicy backstory hints. Shahan and Billie getting some real frustration into their voices, Sarah and Anusia have all the terse company-line bullshit vibes and I love Lowri’s conspiratorial name-dropping bombshell to a mood-killing baffled response.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 23 - A New You

CAT13RBC3536-20062018-18042024 Transformation (dysmorphic) -/-doppleganger (infection)

Written by Harlan Guthrie, for more of his work visit https://www.malevolent.ca/

Script Editing by Alexander J Newall and Jonathan Sims 

Thoughts: One of my top three episodes in Season 1. This case makes my heart sing. It’s delightful, insidious body horror, with a sweet side of social commentary. What’s not to adore? And a piece of coral (a living skeleton with multiple identical lifeforms inside) being referred to as She is so intriguing to me. I feel I could spent a long time trying to unpick the nuances of this piece. Especially as there’s a key story element in the fact that something goes wrong at the end, and the forum mods don’t want other people to know. So far things have felt every individual and separate… but maybe things are more connected than we think? Do we have cults and followings like in Archives? On a related note, ngl I cackled when JS and MB’s fates were revealed because I know Jonny and Alex had fun writing that. However, I don’t trust such suspiciously merciful deaths, at all. (Also, were those deaths a Koji Suzuki reference? Hmm) Wonderful performances from Anusia and Billie in the final scene. 

The Magnus Protocol Episode 24 - Raising Issues

CAT1RBC1375-29022024-23042024 Baby (demonic) -/- Delusion (exhaustion)

Written by Alex C Telander, for more of his work visit https://ostiumnetwork.com/

Script Editing by Alexander J Newall and Jonathan Sims 

Thoughts: This is the first time a Magnus episode has made me physically cringe in sympathetic pain. Please keep the demon child that wants to chew through my tit and into my chest cavity far away from me. Nope, no, nuh-uh, nah mate, f* off with that nonsense. The medical gaslighting, the exhaustion and the dark acceptance of pain, oof. Plus the new parent not-knowing-if-this-normal? Brutal. Painful realism came in kicking with this one, and it’s very good. Also, demon baby likes Celia. Lady Mowbray likes Celia. Celia is an external magnet. I enjoy the multi-person dialogues in Protocol, everyone giving their best, reminds me of the intervention scene in early Archives. Also, yay, Basira! I love Plummy Teacher Basira, she’s so baffled by these two randomers. Great performance by Frank Voss.

The Magnus Protocol Episode 25 - Gut Feelings

CAT2RB2474-07022024-24042024 Food (Gorging ) -/- compulsion (disgust)

Written by Jonathan Sims 

Script Editing by Alexander J Newall

Thoughts: Ah, the McWeevil episode. Tasty. There are all sorts of wonderful implications here that I dare not type in case someone is eating while reading. Also I love the dance we’re doing with the old consent/compulsion/choice dynamic. In Archives many people tried and failed to escape from horrors (shout out to Robin Lennox), but there have been quite a few cases in Protocol with the victim struggling and managing to walk away (though with unclear consequences - the OIAR team aren’t doing follow-up in the same way as Archives). Also Colin, Colin my sweet, you might be the most sensible person in this universe, but this sort of thing will only get you murderised. I love Ryan’s acting, such a desperately agonised breakdown, which you can see a bit of here: https://youtu.be/xlERmS-okTI The universe persists in teleporting Celia towards Oxford for shits and giggles. 

The Magnus Protocol Episode 26 - Catching Up

CAT1RBC4463-14042024-02052024 Exhaustion (athletic) -/- compulsion (tape)

Written by Muna Hussen, for more of her work visit https://www.thesiltverses.com/

Script Editing by Alexander J Newall and Jonathan Sims 

Thoughts: Magnussing - creator approved! I really enjoyed this case, because Mr Jarrod is set up as a mysterious figure, like what’s this guys deal - nvm, he’s fucked. The character narration (as a witness statement) is engaging and draws you in, right down to the horrible end. I can’t recommend Muna’s writing enough. Alice connects all the dots together, and we get the wonderful Imogen Harris as Helen again. I am increasingly wondering why some people seem identical to their Archives counterparts, and others are quite different. Is it a natural variation? Does it mean something. Also, while I love Helen’s laugh, I kind of wanted Helen to finish with ‘come back anytime, my door is always open!’ (too on the nose perhaps). Celia, get the tory baby to sleep, it’s sexy time. “with additional voices from Jonathan Sims.” Alright, it’s official that Jonny’s making the baby burbling noises (/silly). 

The Magnus Protocol Episode 27 - Driven

CAT3RB5535-18021845-10052024 Kidnapping (carriage) -/- consumption [letter]

Written by Jonathan Sims

Script Editing by Alexander J Newall

Thoughts: Another one of my top three episodes in Season 1! On the same theme as above, Jonah is a twat in this universe too! I wonder who ’N’ is. Victorian Paranormal Monster Pursuit? Yes please, more please! Such delightful gore, very delectable, much fun. So many thoughts on how such a monster would hide in our world. And ‘no cost too great’ indeed. The ancient Magnus rite of sacrificing assistants reigns eternal. Curious emphasis on ‘if there are already such monsters in this world’. Hmmm. Maybe the gap in reality has been discovered? Ooh, weird emails. Sam, now Gwen. Very interesting that Celia, having been repeatedly teleported towards Oxford, now wants to take Sam to Oxford. Something will get revealed…

The Magnus Protocol Episode 28 - Interruptions

CAT2RB2578-17081998-13052024 Transmutation (human) -/- ceremony (academic)

Written by Jonathan Sims 

Script Editing by Alexander J Newall 

Thoughts: Goodbye Dr Welling. And this, children, is why we don’t roll a critical fail when casting reanimate dead. It’s spooky scary skeleton time, and Sam dun fucked up. Though honestly, if I had experienced something this traumatic as a result of wandering off into a place I wasn’t supposed to be, I don’t know, I think I might have a severe aversion to doing that? Sam, wtf is wrong with your trauma response? Though I am curious on the mechanics of statements - are people only saying things they know, or can information they’ve long forgotten be brought up? 10/10 case, superb, love it. Every episode is getting me hyped. Gwen doesn’t take shit lying down, and while corralling externals is not her forte, backstabbing office politics clearly is. I love Ian’s brusque minster, it’s pretty damn accurate and really gets me in the room with the characters. 

The Magnus Protocol Episode 29 - Keyed In

CAT2RB4254-30012020-13052024 Drowning (subterranean) -/- key (metaphor)

Written by Alexander J Newall

Script Editing by Jonathan Sims 

Thoughts: Now something else (not Celia) is pushing Sam to go to Oxford. Interesting. Alex makes Jonny try to pronounce things in Czech. This is a curious case, and I think it’s speaking to keeping secrets, unlocking doors you can’t close again, and the floodwaters are rising. All things Gwen needs to hear. The fact that Lena considers that the Visit went well, ouch. Also, I am convinced Teddy is working for the Response part of the OIAR, and he’s the one dropping off Sam’s weird paperwork. That ending: DUN DUN DUUUUUUUUUN…. (Alice, just pop over to Victoria, get the Oxford Tube, it’ll drop you off in Headington, it’s fiiiiiine). Presumbly the archivist got the train down from Manchester in the first time. Perhaps it has a (Communications) Network Railcard?

The Magnus Protocol Episode 30 - Dead End Job

CAT2RS3366-13052024-13052024  Transmutation (human) -/- Isolation (urban) 

Written by Jonathan Sims 

Script Editing by Alexander J Newall 

Thoughts: Light a candle for the Scottish in the Magnus Multiverse, they are doomed. Ryan’s performance broke my heart. Robin as the custodian is a gem, and then he’s the hilltop golem. Spectacular sound design. Turns out the Welsh aren’t doing so hot either. Lena moonwalks backwards out of the whole situation, Gwen, yer fucked, luv. IT IS MINE  - Is this Celia being an external magnet or is the rift what the Archivist is actually after? Makes sense, an entire multiverse of suffering would definitely be satisfying! Plus see previous comment about Magnus Institute and the rift.

London Exclusion Zone has a delightful 28 days later ring to it. I do hope this means what I think it does: that Celia is wrong and the wound is not a pathway to her world but to any world. Which means we’re in Magnus Mk 3, and there could be ANOTHER Jonathan Sims here. In fact, wouldn’t it be something amazing, if here was a world where the Archivist succeeded in taking over as the conduit, and managed to control the horrors into a smaller area, namely London? If so, fucking brilliant, cannot wait… a few weeks until the premiere, and my relentless hunger for lore is satiated.   

The Magnus Protocol Season 1 Epilogue

Written by Jonathan Sims

Script Editing by Alexander J Newall

Thoughts: Anusia and Billie smashed this one, some great emotional beats and as they now comprise 66% of the office staff (assuming Celia doesn’t just book it), I’m looking forward to watching their dynamic change over the next season. Important point: apparently there was a full description of the horrors that were seen, but we don’t get to hear it. Yet. Maybe. So until we do, all that happened was that Gwen yanks out a server rack, the phone rings, and Alice says ‘oh Colin...’ because she can see that Colin has been relentlessly ringing his exes and sending dick pics to everyone. Gwen screams because she spots Colin, drunk out of his mind and naked on the floor, having broken into Lena’s other secret alcohol stash (she has like 5 of them). 

Colin in Season 1: Dinnae fash yersel', I'll sort out this machine!

Epilogue: Did ye, aye?

(But yeah, I’m mid way between gruesome flesh packed inside the servers, with hairy skin peeling off the circuits like lichen on tree bark, or Colin being in the phone, like the ringing brings up a picture of his face that’s been flensed and matrixed with wires and LEDs, because whatever happened, it was a) not immediately obvious, aka the room isn’t splattered with gore, and b) immediately obvious that it was Colin. So either his face is on show, or a defining feature like a tattoo.)

The Magnus Protocol Season 1 Fluff

Written by Jonathan Sims (except that intro and ending, that is clearly all Alex) 

Script Editing by Alexander J Newall 

Thoughts: Alex, you are a delight. Never change. All the characters are absolute train wrecks, and we are here for them (and their pain and suffering)

Featuring (in order of appearance), and where you can support them:

Lowri Ann Davies as Celia Ripley (https://x.com/lowritweets?lang=en)

Shahan Hamza as Samama Khalid (https://linktr.ee/shahanhamza)

Billie Hindle as Alice Dyer (want to support gender affirming treatment for a trans creator? https://ko-fi.com/F1F2XMJRD plus check out Billie’s latest role: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7eDt3bYqDT0) 

Sarah Lambie as Lena Kelley (https://x.com/baabuzz)

Anusia Battersby as Gwendolyn Bouchard (@anouchard, https://x.com/AnusiaBattersby)

Vera Chok as Ink5oul (https://x.com/Vera_Chok)

Callum Dougherty as Bystander (https://rustyquill.com/crew/callum-dougherty/)

Beth Eyre as Archivist/[ERROR] (https://x.com/BethEyre)

Tim Fearon as Augustus (I think: https://www.mandy.com/u/tim-fearon/)

Jonathan Sims as Chester (@jonnywaistcoat, @macguffinandco, https://www.patreon.com/macguffinandcompany/posts)

Alexander J Newall as Norris (@rqbossman)

Faye Derham as Mother (https://www.imdb.com/name/nm8335409/)

Frank Voss as Basira Hussain (https://x.com/AvoidedDrowning)

Ryan Hopevere-Anderson as Colin Becher (https://linktr.ee/ryanhopevereanderson)

Mark Nicolson as Ticket Attendant 

Imogen Harris as Helen Richardson (https://x.com/ImogenCHarris)

Ian Hayles as Trevor Herbert MP (https://x.com/IanHayles)

Kazeem Tosin Amore as Teddy Vaughn (https://x.com/KazeemAmore)

Kai Partenie as Ticket Officer (https://www.instagram.com/kai0997)

Pip Gladwin as Taxi Driver (https://x.com/pip_gladwin)

Robin Hellier as Custodian (I think: https://robinhellier.com/#qualifications-credits)

Executive Producers April Sumner, Alexander J Newall, Jonathan Sims, Dani McDonough, Linn Ci, and Samantha F.G. Hamilton

Associate Producers Jordan L. Hawk, Taylor Michaels, Nicole Perlman, Cetius d’Raven, and Megan Nice

Produced by April Sumner

Dialogue Editor – Lowri Ann Davies

Sound Designer – Tessa Vroom

Mastering Editor - Catherine Rinella

Music by Sam Jones (orchestral mix by Jake Jackson)

Art by April Sumner

Fabulous work everyone! See you at the Premiere!

Official transcripts:

[hearsayhorizons]

Holism’s introduction and the confirmation that there are more ships/intelligences on ART’s level with their own idiosyncrasies and quirks has a real possibility of opening up that coven/school house fertile field of fanfiction that makes people grab other series and hold on tight (not that we weren’t doing that already with this one).

Perihelion’s secret function is in confirming lost colonies and providing initial response for the purposes of safeguarding “”assets”” from predation.

Based on its interactions (attempted interactions) with SecUnit, Holism’s function/special interest is to provide infrastructure after Perihilion’s crew has argued/forged their way into securing long-term protection for those people. 

Perihelion is a secret agent ship and befriended Murderbot, who watches thrillers and other media. Holism the infrastructure/”look at this neat thing!” ship is probably going to find a receptive contact in Three, who seems most comfortable with nonfiction and educational materials (some other good poster pointed out that Three’s interests are tied to its introduction to freedom and choice via Murderbot 2.0’s autobiographical files; I want to put a pin in that for later).

This establishes a thematic setup I want to play with. I was going to fiction this up, but I have weather-related migraines and it is WEATHER lately.

My contribution is [namepending]. Once you have safety, once you have infrastructure, you look at connections and community. And you know what would be a great way to jumpstart an ambassadorial program or knowledge exchange? A university where everyone is doing something new, going somewhere new, where you might have interactions that last a few years and still mean a lot to you later, OR they might help define how you choose to live forever—there’s no knowing, even in real life, how experiences as a young OR older person going to school will influence you.

Why does that student wear something no one else does? Why do those hand gestures stand out? That’s an unusual set of facial features. But no one, literally no one, is going to look at a batch of shaky college students and assume they’re all from a/a variety of colonies 40+ years out of contact with the wider world.

So yeah, I know ART is already the Magic School Bus with weaponized pathfinders, but I posit that our next/a great fanfiction point is... [pending], much more a school bus. Maybe ferrying back and forth between colonies to keep the info exchange open too, but I think the university would be SO useful to give colonists a knowledge base without overwhelming them or forcing them to assimilate into other cultures.

Now, I imagine that just like Amena has to do some learning modules before she can join the University, there’d be sims and modules for incoming students or people going between colonies. And just like System Collapse chapter 8, you hit them where it works—right in the media. So this [pending] has a huge collection of, and is interested in, games.

As a side note, part of me thinks a fully mechanical system like ART would be a bit better able to perceive/use games without a SecUnit filter than media; sure, there’s music and mechanics meant to emotionally motivate the player, but non-visual novels non-dating-sims (eg: “game games”) have goals, mechanisms, more hard input than media.

Remember my pin from earlier re: Three’s interest tied to its path to freedom? I posit a SecUnit (either one of the two freed at the end of System Collapse, or someone else if there’s...)

Actually, if I’m already spitballing fanfic bullshit and ComfortUnits presumably have resources for interacting on a more emotional basis with clients, the CU. I want that construct on [pending]. The odds of that happening are miniscule unless it was maybe at a wit’s end, didn’t know what to do with itself like other units after having its freedom foisted on it.

Yeah, so, it has access to surreptitious funds secured by Tllacey. Maybe IDs. It doesn't have weapons and I get the vibe that no one would be looking as hard for a rogue CU, so I don't imagine it's hacking or has to hack anything. Maybe it can't, since it isn't a security system.

But it IS probably meant to be fluent in current events, folklore, random shit random clients care about. Ergo the Ganaka pit bit.

It searches for SecUnit activity in the news. Oh, or maybe info on ART, maybe it picked something up during its last scene. Murderbot does have a whole aside in SC panicking about the news and what info about the kidnapping could mean for the University’s colony-saving scheme, but that doesn’t go anywhere given the timeframes. So, maybe there is something there, some way to pull the ComfortUnit back in.

It finds the University. It finds, or [pending] finds it, and [pending]’s whole schtick is orientating confused people. It introduces CU to some sims, some games, maye interactions in reality or through games with young people.

I posited in previous posts that SecUnit probably wouldn’t be super into games because the ability to passively exist alongside an atmosphere presented by a story or music is the appeal of its media; it is an actor DOING things during its day job. But CU has presumably been always acted-upon in its day job. So now it has a risk-free method to DO things. Maybe it prefers solo games, or it participates in group games where its identity as a CU comes up only as far as it is comfortable.

I’m sure my [pending] would be thrilled to have a contact/friend who can both communicate comfortably with newcomers while also relating really hard to them. Plus, I feel like the CU construct just sort of gets set loose and abandoned by Murderbot and the narrative. Sometimes those loose ends happen, but I kind of see a way we could work it back in now that we know there are more ships and they want filters/friends/units.

Now I just gotta find a name for [pending].

I do think I have the first few lines of the fic, though:

The shuttle came within range of the bigger ship annotated in the smart glass: Perihelion.

This is you. I transmitted an image of a young human and what the news broadcast identified as another human.

Oh, fuck off.

[callmearcturus]

what do you mean by TC is a black box? what does that mean?

/pops gum loudly.

Sure, I've been avoiding this landmine a while lemme shove my foot onto it.

TC doesn't do serious interviews. He barely does press. everything out of him is a soundbite, and that's obviously a very deliberate choice on his part that probably has a few motives behind it. He consciously, actively avoids sharing anything beyond his enthusiasm for cinema and his work.

As someone who clearly has found a Problematic Fave in McQuarrie-era Cruise, I have thought about all that a lot.

One. I think that TC had to work consistently and deliberately to rehab his image after everything, and I think he's damn careful not to endanger the tentative equilibrium he's managed to build over literally about twenty fucking years.

Two. I'm old enough to remember Tom Cruise Crazy era, and one of the things that's... interesting to me with the maturity and hindsight of sitting here in 2023 is that, yes, a lot of TC's actions and associations were concerning back in that period, back when he was in the news. But the world didn't react with concern. The world, broadly speaking, called him a fag and a freak in a way that I hope we wouldn't today. I hope that "hey this huge star is part of a cult and is acting erratically" would cause even superficial concern today and not... what it did back then. Because I def remember songs and memes about that shit, and my family made jokes about him being a lunatic. Classmates talked about him being a closet case. It's what everyone did. I didn't realize that was fucked up for a long time.

I do genuinely wonder what TC's relationship with his audience and with the media would be if there was literally an ounce of compassion in the coverage about him. But we'll never know.

Three. TC has been literally world famous since 1983. Forty years. I....... literally cannot fathom that. What that does to someone. The very idea of it hits me with existential terror.

Four. I don't know anything about his life today. I don't really want to know because I've always been of the opinion that... I don't want to know shit about celebrities major or minor. I don't need to know, and I think it's weird that we accept that people must forfeit their privacy for even minuscule fame.

(The disgusting hounding and harassment of Jonny Sims, writer of The Magnus Archives, comes to mind. This is why I don't follow anyone like Neil Gaiman on Tumblr either, it feels invasive to me personally.)

Like, I know this cuts both ways. I am relieved when a famous person is a cool person. But also I would rather know nothing about them, because that inherent demand that they present their self for scrutiny and entertainment seems like bullshit to me. I don't think any of us are entitled to that. I think the fact so many entertainment industries demand that is repulsive and I wish that was a bell that could be unrung.

Point is: I don't know shit about TC's personal life. My genuine hope is that in this part of his life, as he's surrounded himself with people who seem passionate and supportive, i hope he's found his way out of the turmoil of the CoS (or is in the process of doing so). But while that is my hope, I don't think the details are any of my fucking business. And frankly, I think its obvious that he agrees.

Hence, he is a black box. Which I respect, as I'm a big fan of boundaries.

[thatdeadaquarius]

With your language AU, I remember watching a video about a guy speaking angrily nonesense in an Indian accent and people thinking he was very angry. Imagine this as the Creator speaks angry gibberish to people and they just assume that the Creator is cursing them or something. (Or like when they speak gibberish to babies and everyone's like, "Aw the Creator is teaching that baby their divine language")

*AUDIENCE DRAMATICALLY GASPS.

✨️I look pretty good for a dead bitch✨️

She's alivveee!!!

Whats up i almost passed away from sheer academic workload, but im not in the ground yet 🥰 And with drafts outta my ass! :D

Hope yall ready for ur regularly scheduled Bullshit Genshin Sagau <3

SANDBEES THATS SUCH A GOOD USERNAME & ALSO SORRY I ANSWERED THIS SO FUCKING LATE JESUSSSSS 💀💀💀

SORRY ABT THE POLL I CANT BELIEVE I COULDNT FIGURE OUT HOW TO DELETE IT IM FUCKING CRYING I WOULD DO THIS-

Well at least i can do polls thru this in the future?? Idk tumblr is ass so we'll see how this accidental test works out...

☆

So these were the first thngs i thought of and its not super long bc ASKERS R GENIUSES OKAY

SOMTIMES I JUST WANNA PROFUSELY THANK U GUYS AS A REPLY FOR SHARING WITH THE CLASS THRU MY BLOG 💖💘💫

Saw the gif and couldnt help but think this is how ppl like Alhaitham or Diluc would react to u "speaking ur langauge"

"Our langauage" aka being a SIM 💀

◇

Stop Albedo would ask you to teach him ur lang/grammar rules 😭

What u gonna do when Zhongli asks you to teach him some words-

OH NO

NO DONT PASS ON YOUR BULLSHIT LMAO

U GIVING ZHONGLI SOME STUPID SIM WORD LIKE

Your ass: "GIGGLABAH means beautiful :) "✨️

Zhongli: "Oh thank you, how different from our own version, so excited sounding..."

You walk by him strolling the harbor and he just smiles at you and says

"You look gigglabah today my liege."

HIS REGAL FACE AND FANCY WALK WITH HIS HAND BEHIND HIS BACK AND EVERYTHING

(honestly ppl paint him as oblivious but he kinda seemed like the type of bastard who seems like he's not aware but sometimes he secretly knows the truth, he's just getting too much amusement out of it to stop doing it, LOL he does shit like the above to see YOUR reaction- LMAO)

◇

You're a maniac pls tell me u dont pass on simlish to all the serious characters-

XIAO WOULD SECRETLY THINK IT SOUNDS GOOFY BUT WANT TO BE INVOLVED BC ITS YOU ANYWAY LMAO

SO HE'S JUST SLIGHTLY SQUIRMING AND GETTIN PINK EVERYTIME HE SAYS A STUPID SIM WORD BC HE FEELS LIKE A GOOF HAHA

(& he's not the only one, others too like Kaveh, YELAN, Ningguang, Nahida, DILUC, AYAKA LMAO-)

◇

Some ppl i could see taking ur gibberish bullshittery and whether they believe its real or not is irrelevant bc theyre using it anyway-

And i dont mean in a good way 😭

LIKE IM THINKING OF VENTI.

CRAZY BARD INCLUDING SIMLISH ASS GIBBERISH WORDS IN HIS SONGS BC OF YOU

"Be cheerful like the hugkukie,

and may your cup never leaky!"

And Diluc loves you.

Really he does, deeper than he thinks-

But his eye is twitching LMAOO

◇

(Ok but if you did like multiple of these language shenanigans thruout the asks ive gotten, Kaeya would literally grow so fond of you and associate you with goofy funny shit that makes him laugh so hard that everytime he sees you he automatically is beaming with a smile, or trying to supress a warm grin- this got away from me but its 1:44am for me rn so i would love a smiley Kaeya rn -)

♡

Speaking language bs I have my 2nd oral exam for spanish tomorrow, pls send whatever good vibes u got and i am also really open to prayers from any religion as well. sobs

Hope anyone got any enjoyment out of my response bc tbh the ask is what rlly matters to me atp lmao

Until the next shenanigan-

Safe travels,

💀♒️

♡the beloveds mwah ♡

@karmawonders / @0rah-s / @randomnatics / @glxssynarvi / @nexylaza / @genshin-impacts-me / @wholesomey-artist

[melanodis]

What's the garden au tell me about it I'm intrigued

@valkyrkinnie feel free to add onto this because I'm braindead atm

just pasting the entire document here to be real

Garden of Afton au or just, "the garden", is just an excuse for every diverging continuity we make up.

The reasoning behind every continuity is that Michael is in a time loop, beginning from the moment Ennard decides to leave its flesh suit and he wakes up on that warm sidewalk.

To get out of this time loop, he's got to fix all the mess his father made by destroying every animatronic related to the incident.

If he dies, he starts over, left with only an incredible sense of unease and deja vu if he goes towards the wrong path once again.

But no matter the continuity, there's always one thing that's always there; the garden.

Before everything, the Aftons had a prize winning garden that Mrs. Afton kept up with mostly.

It's also where she and Elizabeth are buried, with Ballora burying her own corpse and the latter by William.

The garden has always existed, and will always exist no matter its dilapidation.

Commonly, Ballora will be drawn to it and will realize her identity as the late Mrs. Afton.

This all acts as an alternative to Pizzeria Sim; it never happens.

Here's where we get nightmare gas leaky. The time loop? it's fabricated.

At the end of the final, completed loop, Michael wakes up from a medically induced coma he was placed under by Henry. By Michael destroying everyone in this hyperrealistic dream, he frees them from the real world also. They agreed that this would be the end of it.

All Michael remembers is the very last loop that in his mind lasted years, when in reality it lasted about 2 months. Needless to say, he regrets ever signing those papers.

However, there were some loops where Henry seriously considered killing Michael so that he never would've known that this was just a dream.

Loops where he was finally happy. where he brought them together and made them whole. Because at least then, the end goal was still achieved; they could never hurt anyone in the real world again.

And Michael himself would finally have peace.

Michael waking up can ALSO segway into him brutally attacking Henry for this sort of torturous 2 and a half month long nightmare, with Henry agreeing to put him back under for good and they both pass on.

Which THEN segways to Michael accidentally possessing Glamrock Freddy years later while he's in the parts and services protective dome. And Gregory is playing Simon Says on his FACE.

The universe hates Michael so he exists only as a foil to his father. To clean up his mess and ultimately live in his shadow.

So if Michael is here now after dying 6 years ago... so is he.

But Henry could've never even anticipated William returning in the form of Glitchtrap.

The whole time traveling part requires Henry to die here, because then his soul is freed to literally fuck around and find out. Retaining information he's gained from different timelines and continuities, bringing them to others, trying to find *some way* to patch things up. Something typically always goes wrong, yknow butterfly effect and chaos theory bullshit. But he can dream, at least.

It all boils down to "what if he could save them all?" He can't, and he realizes this. but DAMN he will try.

The first thing he does is stop Michael from ever signing those documents. He doesn't need him anymore. There's no point in putting Michael through all that torture again.

He doesn't DESERVE any of that.

Whatever time to quantum suicide to the gay reality.

-

My favorite is when Henry shows up to Fazbear's closing in 1993 to stop William from having a workplace accident (eviscerating himself inside Springbonnie).

William being completely shell shocked because HIS Henry completely denounced ever wanting to see his face again and here he is just, nonchalantly walking up to him. Takes a drag of a cigarette and goes "yeah don't do that".

1st - The actual fear gas experimenting time loop shit. The "canon" timeline.

2nd - Michael getting trapped in The Good Timeline after Henry kills him (Michael refurbishes all the animatronics of his family himself, runs fazbears, etc)

3rd - Henry dies and his soul is freed to fuck around and find out.

Hell, all of this is more just a prologue to everything considering I mostly fuck around with 3rd continuity Henry anyway.

[snapdragonsimming]

Author's Note and Transcript Under the Cut

(AN: Hello! Thank you for stopping by and checking out my fledgling fundie simblr. I’m by no means new to simblr, but because this blog and story is new, I figure an introduction is due.

So: hey, I’m Talia! I had another fundie simblr a few years back (it’s now inactive for a multitude of reasons), but like a certain someone, I have risen again! My fundie sims obsession was reignited over the summer after I joined a wonderful fundie sims-themed Discord server. Somehow they convinced me to make a new blog, and a few months later, here we are! In the intervening years I continued to lurk, so if you’re an active fundie simblr, I’m probably a fan of your story.

I’ve been playing the de la Cruz family for a while now and they have a special place in my heart- I can’t wait to share them with everyone else! Get ready for lots of God-honoring drama, mildly dubious baby names, and leopard-print modesty undershirts. Note that as the de la Cruzes are fundamentalists and this story is satire-heavy, there will be some viewpoints expressed that I very much disagree with. I’ll trigger tag certain sensitive subjects (e.g. physical violence, miscarriages) as ‘tw [thing]’ but fundie-typical bullshit will go untagged for the sake of my sanity.

Some basic housekeeping stuff to wrap up this far-too-long intro note: I have a queue full of posts ready to go, but I’m a busy student with unpleasant things like homework and AP classes, so I’m still not sure how frequently I’ll post. I’ll do my best to ensure that stays consistent, though, and if you have any questions or comments, please feel free to reach out via my askbox or DMs!)

-

PRAISING HIM!

Every Sunday, Praising Him! features a family dedicated to spreading the Word. Today we meet the de la Cruzes, a San Sequoian family of 16.

When Alejandro and Alina (née Fletcher) de la Cruz married at nineteen, they could not have imagined what would come next! Over the past twenty-six years, the couple has made faith the centerpiece of their lives, and has continued to “Praise Him!” through the ups and downs of busy family life.

Read more about their family below!

-

Alejandro, 45, works as a programmer at United Christian Publishers, and holds a Distinguished Degree in Computer Science from Foxbury Christian University. He began his journey into higher education not at 18, like many students, but at 26, shortly after the birth of his seventhborn, Cecilia! Owing to his unique circumstances, he chose to enroll in a six-year program that enabled him to work full-time as a freelance programmer in addition to his courseload. Though money was tight at times, the Lord provided, and Alejandro welcomed five bundles of joy (including a darling set of twins!) with wife Alina while enrolled at Foxbury. Whew!

Alina, 45, has chosen to fulfill God’s design for women by staying at home with her family. Raised in a devout household, she always knew He was calling her toward marriage and motherhood, and she says the “greatest blessing” in her life was the day she gave birth to her eldest son Gabriel, ten months after her wedding day and just shy of her twentieth birthday. In addition to raising and homeschooling the seven de la Cruz children who have yet to graduate, Alina is active in her church and in Institute for Strong Christian Standards (ISCS) circles, and enjoys spending time with her four (soon to be five!) beautiful grandbabies. A true Proverbs 31 woman if we’ve ever seen one!

You may recognize Gabriel de la Cruz and his lovely wife Esther, 23, from last summer’s print edition of Praising Him! At just 25, Gabriel is a rising star in the Christian legal world, coming to the aid of innocent Simericans simply trying to practice their faith. Ten months ago, they welcomed their first little girl, Abigail, and just last week they announced the upcoming arrival of their second child! Congratulations to them.

-

Althea Brown (née de la Cruz), 24, is following in her mother’s footsteps and proud of it! The young woman, who wed husband John-David, 28, three years ago, resides in Newcrest and is a content stay-at-home-mother of two.

Jasmine Booth (née de la Cruz), 23, known to friends and family as “Jazzy,” is enjoying the bliss of new parenthood alongside her husband of two years, Jason!

The first set of de la Cruz twins, Joshua and Sofia, 21, are both unattached and living at home. Sofia is pursuing a calling in missionary work, and Joshua is hard at work saving money and praying for his future family. “If you’re reading this as a young Christian woman,” Sofia jests, “have your father write into Praising Him! and I’ll set up a date with Josh!”

Caterina de la Cruz, 20, is diligently knitting, crocheting, sewing, embroidering, and cross-stitching her way through her season of singleness! Though she prays every day for her Prince Charming (nonbelievers need not apply!), she assures Praising Him! that she’s quite content to assist her mother in running the busy de la Cruz household in the interim.

Cecilia de la Cruz, 18, the only unmarried de la Cruz not living at home, declined to comment.

The rest of the de la Cruz children, who range in age from 8 to 17, are kept busy with homeschooling, ISCS conferences, music practice, and Bible study.

If you would like to get in touch with the de la Cruz family, click here to send a message!

[theageofsims]

This is gonna be a shit post, but that's what I do around here.

So there's been 3 deaths. Yes -- 3.

How can this happen? Ya girl don't even know. So much is happening off my watch and to say that I'm not literally out there trying to pick my faves and runner-ups in this legacy would be a damn lie.

For starters -- Delaney. Somebody fucking tell me HOW Delaney even died though. I didn't even think vampires could actually die outside of burning up from the sun (if they aren't immune to it) -- and she was immune to it.

I knew they could die because her aunt passed away randomly about two months ago and I was going to work that into the storyline, but I had to get everyone into a new save (and been struggling making sure everyone is related where relations need to be especially since family trees have been broken).

But I didn't care about her Aunt -- I literally spent an entire like 8 hour game session awhile back when Delaney was still a teenager, to make sure she became a master vampire. Her father Timothy isn't even a master vampire (yet???) and at the rate he's going, he's closer to a damn demon rather than a vampire at this point.

I can't.

I wasn't around like at all for Delaney's childhood and most of her teenage years because I was off with the others.

It's whatever. That's just how I roll. I don't pause the aging of the Sims. They out there living their lives. Shit is gonna happen, but I had plans for Delaney.

I spent like 3 hours one night chatting with a friend about bullshit in-between us coming up with NINE boy and NINE girl names for Delaney and Coleman's unborn children.

They were supposed to have 9 children.

I don't know what happened in the original save, but Delaney was pregnant with 3 girls -- only one baby showed up after a massive glitch during her giving birth. That's why in the storyline it mentions she lost two children. What happened to them? I don't even know. I never ever had that happen.

Then she was supposed to have another set (of triplets). All nine children were supposed to be 3 sets of triplets. Well I made a mistake in MCCC, so she got pregnant with just one child... Another girl, which is Helga.

She was supposed to have 3 sons next. I had their names all picked out and ready to go... And then I find out she passed away. 😒

The game says she died of electrocution, but how? From lightening? They had no appliances or tvs in the house. Whatever the case, I just said she got stabbed in the heart by a vampire slayer because how else are vampire stories and their deaths typically told?

Fuck this game I'm through. 🤣😂🤣

I am so tired of planning shit that never ends up happening, but I also will NOT control these Sims more than I am within this legacy so they can just keep right on fucking with me! 🤣😂🤣

I knew something was going to happen to Delaney. I didn't know what or when, I mean -- she's the youngest sim to have passed away in my legacy, aside from her two daughters that never were meant to be.

I say this because she was constantly eating human food because she couldn't ever satisfy her hunger. She had that one trait -- or one of those food traits. The same as Lani (her mother) and it's like she was constantly in a state of hunger.

And then I made her a guilty drinker because she was supposed to be this like horseback rider at some point in her life so I was like oh she can just plant plama and harvest them -- and be fine.

Well -- ya girl wasn't fine. I don't know how many days she had left because she became an adult, but I'll know when I check in with Dakota (her twin sister).

Sunny, her late Aunt passed away like her first day as an Adult and I was devastated especially since Taro passed like a week before.

But anyway...

Clearly I made Coleman's death happen. I did use the random generator to find out if Timothy should be the one to end him. The random generator said yes and then I said well wait -- should Timothy end him or turn him? And the answer came back to end him so I said ya know what? Ya boy Coleman has GOT TO GO...

And that's what happened.

Now... Listen. What happened to Gavin was NOT supposed to happen to Gavin. I tried so hard to get him to safety.

I don't know what's going on with the fires in the game, but the incense is out there killing Sims. Just facts at this point. 🤷🏽‍♀️

I know I have a mod that fires do not start from fireplaces -- for years now, but I never had such an issue with incense.

I know I've had it happen, but the Sims are able to extinguish themselves or call the fire department. Sulani and Gavin couldn't do either -- and wait, Sulani's ass caught on fire, too! 👀👀👀👀

I was like OMG... I know this is NOT happening to me right now.

Well -- it happened.

But at least Sulani was finally able to extinguish herself.

And wait -- I wrote it that she tried to save him as in she dragged his ass out the house but in game he was OUTSIDE and he still got killed by the flames!

She was inside engulfed in flames and was able to extinguish herself at the last minute, but him? Not a chance. 😒☹️

[moosemonstrous]

Ghost Rider Pacific Rim AU - acceptable losses

Tony hates the countdown display. It doesn’t make him feel any better that it was, technically, his idea to put it up in the first place.

You can see the clock from anywhere in the dome, and the support side has its own copy. It’s inescapable, the orange glow illuminating his every anxious thought, the soundless downtick keeping him awake at nights even in his apartment in the city.

He’s redone the calculations again. His math checks out. It always checks out, because you can use numbers to lie to others but not to yourself. His predictions have been broadly correct five out of six times over the last three years. Every time, he hopes to be wrong, and knows that he isn’t – the water temperature in the immediate one thousand feet around the Breach rose by point-oh-three degrees overnight, T minus seventy two hours. The submarine drones haven’t reported any lesser beasts coming through since Thursday.

The next demon is coming. And they’re two jaegers short.

“Crimson Typhoon won’t be ready in time,” Ivanov drums his fingers on the metal surface of his desk. He’s not prone to nervous ticks. Half the time, Tony can only spot his tells because he spent his twenties at a poker table. “We need to make a decision.”

Of course, he doesn’t want to be the one to explicitly make it. He’s been avoiding the subject altogether for weeks now. On one hand, Tony kind of feels bad for him, because he vaguely remembers the funerals after The Charger’s last run and nobody was having a good time with it. On the other, it’s not Ivanov who’s name will be on the outcome report if they— God damn it.

“We’re going to get that kid killed,” he sighs.

“We are at war. And your protégé seems confident.”

“Uh, yeah, call me when he ever doesn’t, I’ll mark the date.” He’s still so smug about that damn Kwoon sim, too. Explain that, he said, and Tony never wished so much he’d spent any proper time on neurology in his life. Vicky threw in the towel at this point – Reyes is too speculative for her. There’s a reason medical doesn’t come under R&D. “No point delaying the inevitable, huh?”

“We can delay all we like,” Ivanov grunts. At least he doesn’t look like he likes it any more than Tony does, even if he suspects it’s for very different reasons. “But if we don’t use The Charger and the next demon goes through the port like Bladecrest did through Los Angeles, we are all out of a job.”

Trust the soldier to make it about the bottom line. “Great. I’ll pick up the black box reports from the archive on my way down.”

Ivanov raises an eyebrow. “What makes you think I changed my mind on this?”

“Are you kidding me?” Tony rounds on his desk, slamming a palm down. “You have to declassify them. I can’t sign off on a trial drift if we don’t know—”

Ivanov cuts him off, looking at Tony’s hand like he’s fantasising about cutting it off, too. “I will tell you what you need to know,” he says in the same tone of voice he uses to explain the week’s biosamples have been held back in customs again. It’s bullshit, but not in any way Tony can argue against. “Hell Charger malfunctioned from corruption damage. She killed both of her pilots,” God, Tony hates when he uses people pronouns for that thing, “and almost everyone in the hangar that night. I have been trying to get her taken apart for scrap from the second I made rank. I was always told the expense is prohibitive, there must be something else to make her work.” He stands to lean over the desk. Tony takes an involuntary step back. “She killed six potential pilots over the years, but I’m sure you and Cho know what you’re doing.”

There are many things Tony wishes he could take back. Most of the last fifteen years, if he’s feeling dramatic. None quite so fervently as the moment he thought he can get back at the Colonel for blatantly breaking the same rules he uses to red-tape Cho’s research.

“Ivanov, come on,” he pleads. “You can’t expect me to fly blind on this."

The Colonel’s smile doesn’t reach his eyes. “Maybe a tragedy is what we need to end this vibranium deadlock.”

*

Amadeus isn’t used to having second thoughts. He takes in the available information, draws the potential conclusions and picks the most reasonable course of action – there are no unpredictable outcomes, only missing data.

He really, really thought he’d have The Charger’s run reports before doing this, though.

“He can always say no,” Jen said when she put together the paperwork. “The risks are clearly outlined in section fifteen. All we can do is make sure he reads it.”

Reyes is definitely reading it. Amadeus has been sitting on his hands for an hour while Ivanov, Jen and one of the tech reps go over the thick stack of liability documents. He’s not allowed in the room as to avoid influencing the final decision – like out of everyone, it’s him who can convince Reyes of anything.

Mostly, he can chalk up his anxiety to excitement – finally, things are moving along. Finally, he’ll get to test his long-standing theory about Hell Charger and prove that Banner was right all along. Finally, they can start working on Tony’s abandoned personal armour project instead of drowning billions upon billions of dollars in unsustainable, power-intensive, unwieldy jaegers that are as likely to cause destruction as to prevent it.

Section sixteen outlines provisions for dependants in case of the test subject’s demise. Until this morning, Amadeus didn’t think much of it. Now it’s inextricably linked to the face of a little kid in a wheelchair who laughed at the model demon liver he keeps in his office. He’s maybe starting to see why Tony hasn’t been as thrilled as he’d expected him to be.

“This better goes exactly as you think it will,” Tony said. Amadeus can’t get his expression out of his mind; like this was his worst nightmare coming to a head, rather than the long-awaited breakthrough they’ve been working towards.

The countdown display ticks down from forty four to forty three hours. Even if everything goes exactly right, even if Reyes’s ghost drift with the jaeger is everything Amadeus hopes it to be, it’s still a crapshoot whether they’ll be able to use it in a fight. Simulators are one thing; they don’t have the firepower to keep someone on rookie-watch on his first run. Coyote Tango already agreed to take point, with Eden Assassin and Romeo Blue on support. Other Shatterdomes have been steadily reporting their own preparations – there’s no reason to assume anything will go wrong, but there was no indication the demon would target L.A. rather than Lima, either. Each base isn’t so keen on sending their jaegers to a single location when it’s no longer a given they can reliably predict the target. Best to wait and hope.

“Relax, kid,” Tony hands him a can of soda. “It’s out of your hands now.”

Amadeus inspects the can. It’s orange, because Tony Stark is a deeply deranged individual. He drinks it anyway – he desperately needs the sugar after the night of checking and re-checking everything.

“I could still call it in.”

“Ha.” There is no humour in Tony’s voice. “Director-general signed off on the motion. It’s too late to call anything but go.”

“He could say no.”

The cameras in the meeting room are angled just awkwardly enough to show the way Reyes digs his nails into the skin around his wristband. He’s got a good poker face, but it’s painfully obvious how nervous he is. He seemed genuinely surprised when Amadeus told him they’re ready to trial him on The Charger. He couldn’t not have seen it coming... Right?

Brooks, up until that point silent and still as a statue in the corner of the obs room, makes a ‘meh’ gesture. “He acts all reluctant, but he’s been putting the time in. Besides, if he says no and the base falls, he’s as dead as the rest of us.”

It’s exactly the kind of logic Amadeus has been employing all along. It doesn’t carry the same convincing power, coming from someone else. On the camera feed, the rep reacts with displeasure at something Ivanov has said, but Reyes starts nodding and reaching for a pen.

It’s happening. Amadeus holds his breath as Reyes flips the pages of the liability agreement and signs in the indicates fields.

Tony makes a strangled noise. “I’ll get the techs to start prepping the Conn-Pod. Amadeus?”

He can’t look away from the screen. “Yeah?”

“For your sake, I hope this is worth it.”

[bungeo-ppangie]

˗ˏˋ ENHYPEN ´ˎ˗ when you make them dance

ღ pairing. enha x reader

ღ contents. fluff, just a fun lil scenario, enha with their s/o

ღ summary. in which you coincidentally find a kpop random dance while walking with your enha s/o, and feel the need to see a real trainee join

﹒⪩⪨﹒scroll for reactions

LEE HEESEUNG

tries to convince you that it's the same as watching him practice

however, you aren't convinced at all ofc

and continue begging him with puppy eyes

he eventually caves in because you were too cute~

(also he was just a little bit excited to show you his talents as our beloved ace)

but he'll never admit it

does everything perfectly, but in the back of the crowd so wonie wouldn't beat him up later for showing up in public without telling him

you're very indignant on how everyone is cheering for a different dancer

(even though they couldn't actually see him and were focused on the people at the front as anyone would be)

when you were absolutely sure hee was better

which he finds absolutely endearing

overall a fun experience

10 minutes of begging for a 30 second experience, but was it worth it?

yes. no arguments.

"... just one song, for you"

PARK JAY

very worried he'll mess up in front of you

barters to get himself out of the situation

convinces you that it's bad for your system to exercise exactly 3 hours and 37 minutes after eating (?)

idk how

but his absolute unfiltered 100% organic bullshitting saved his tush

another factor in his victory may have been that he was talking so fast

that your brain was tripping over itself trying to comprehend what he was saying

so you ended up just nodding confusedly

and never realized what was happening until you were already home with him

he definitely makes you your favorite food for dinner to compromise

you learned 2 lessons from this experience:

1) never underestimate your bf's skill at lying to save himself

2) it is in fact not bad for your system to exercise exactly 3 hours and 37 minutes after eating

"see, isn't this better than watching me look stupid?"

SIM JAKE

shy puppy

unlike the others he doesn't try to argue

idk i feel like he'd quickly join for a round just to appease you

even if he's a bit nervous he definitely wouldn't show it

but forgets about the event just as quickly as he got it over with

you both just end up continuing on with your plans for the day

and spend half of said day cooing over layla

very understandable though

i'm sorry this is so short

i need to do more jake research

PARK SUNGHOON

worried pt.2

shields your eyes the moment he sees the dance going on and tries to steer you away

mans knew what was coming for him

even though you know you're so getting teased for this later, you pout at him and beg him to dance

he blushes, seeing you so cute, but hides it with his sleeve to save his pride

points out that you're a capable dancer yourself, why don't you do it?

you end up agreeing to do it together, after much debate

when he sees that he can't get himself out of the situation

he decides to just tease you on how whipped you are for him

even though he's just as excited to see you dance

prays to the lord that he doesn't mess up right before the next chorus begins

thankfully he doesn't and performs perfectly

which, in turn, led to his cover being blown

his mask falling off at the end may have possibly also contributed to this

(someone thought you were wonyoung?? best compliment fr)

you two run home after almost being chased the entire way by some not very nice fans

one of them being a dive who may need a new prescription for their contacts

he ends up hiding from wonie for a week

"W for my pulling skills"

KIM SUNOO

sassy queen

you didn't even ask him to join

you could swear he was just next to you, but when you turn around, you don't see him anymore

ofc you're panicking while looking around

until you see a random play dance that was currently playing crown by txt

he just couldn't resist after being repeatedly interrupted during the chorus when he danced in the practice room with the rest of enhypen

you just go stand by and watch him vibing

thankfully in the back of the crowd, who knows what his manager would've done if he knew sunoo was joining a publicly filmed and broadcasted event without approval

he refuses to leave until he's done his 15th chorus

and you're barely able to pull him out

is now besties with half the people there

and he somehow still hasn't leaked his identity

the crowd's excitement dies down a little after our sunshine leaves

he talks the entire way home about the girl group songs

and how you totally would've slayed them

is out like a light after getting home

"that was so fun, you should've joined!"

YANG JUNGWON

worried pt.3

not that he'll mess up because yang leader is perfect

but he thinks he might be discovered by some very perceptive engenes

he figures he'll be fine though

as long as he stays clear of the front of the crowd

and he'll do mostly anything to make you happy

except washing dishes

cutie

dances whenever you tell him to join

will happily stay for as long as you'd like him to

adds in random moves to make you laugh

pulls you in for ping pong so to avoid anyone else dancing as his partner

you two are complimented by various other dancers for your talent and chemistry

buys you ice cream later too cool off with

even though he was the one dancing

"we should dance together more often~"

NISHIMURA RIKI

will hop in without you asking pt.2

is the one asking you to join him

body rolls at any given opportunity just for the fun of it

competing against you even though he knows he'll win

this is a given fact due to the number of just dance battles he won you at

however you'll never admit he's better than you and you're constantly trying to best him

he'll also never admit that you're improving much more than you think you are

he shamelessly reveals himself to everyone within the vicinity with his undeniable talent after a mere 2 choruses

thankfully people were chill about it and decided to turn off the recording camera and livestream to make it more accommodating towards your idol bf

which you both really appreciated

you two end up teaching some kids an enha chorus

(OMG HE WAS SO CUTE WITH THE KIDS I CANT-)

those kids were so talented though it's scary

on the positive side: mini rikis?!??

your previous plans for the day are quickly forgotten

and you guys spend the rest of the day there

definitely one of the best memories you've had together

"i'm still gonna win, you know"

[simiaysa]

Meet The O'Keefe's

I'm still creating sims for my save file. I'm almost done with the main circle of sims; I should have all the sims done by next week. I'm slowly doing backstories; I'm going to do headshots with all the characters + backstories soon. Everyone is connected in some shape or form.

Meet my main family!

From Left to Right:

Lucas O'Keefe: 55, (He/him), Known for his military service and being a loving family man. Chelsea O'Keefe: 50, (She/her) Housewife & loving mother. Ashayaa O'Keefe: 24 (She/her) (no back story on her yet cause it all going to play out) Giovanna O'Keefe: 17 (She/They) An angry teenager that likes to piss off they parents and smoke weed with Ashayaa.

Ashayaa is going to be our main character of this save file. Currently, Ashayaa is a pregnant medical student and works in the hospital part time to get experience (This is where Paris comes in) The twins Brooklynn and Stevie are her cousins from her mother's side. Nobody knows she's pregnant but her bullshit ass baby daddy. We are going to navigate through her, and her friends lives through adulthood.