#back 2 work now i just had to yack this out

[artificialqueens]

🏳️‍🌈 WeHo Trans Nights: Chapter 2 (Bianca Del Rio / BenDeLaCreme ; Multi) - Imafuckinglibra

A/N : Listen, this is once again just pure smut with a smiiiiidgen of plot. This mini series is just trans characters getting some good ol’ lovin from other trans characters and this week it’s the boys’ turn. Like last time the art for these guys will be up next queue pinky promise, k bye.

“Bet if we get you a drink, you’ll do it in one take,” Ben tried to lighten the mood with a reassuring hand on Roy’s shoulder.

They were in the small dressing room of their local comedy club, each preparing for their respective sets when the club promoter asked them to film a short reel for their next lineup. 

The usual who, when and what they’d be doing song and dance. Ben had seen Roy film a million of these before, but this was his first hosting gig and he was already cracking under the pressure and presumably a severe case of imposter syndrome. 

Unable to even pull himself together to film a simple video, let alone go out and face the crowd of drunk Wednesday night patrons after he bombed his opening few jokes. 

“Hey, it’s okay,” Ben tried again, this time sitting closer, trying to genuinely comfort him. “C’mon tell Uncie Ben, what’s yacking your yums?”

“It’s yucking,” Roy corrected, finally cracking a hint of a smile. “Yucking your yums, and that’s not what that means.” 

“Attaboy!” Ben patted his back. “See, you do have it in you to be helpful.”

“Oh fuck off!” Roy pushed him. 

A gesture Ben knew to read as his own unique little way of saying he appreciated him.

Roy was one of those work friends that had just never quite crossed the border into ‘real friends.’  They ran in similar circles, and were friendly enough, but they never spent much time together outside of the club.

Still, having his cranky confidant was a comfort — that miserable face he always looked for as soon as he walked through the door of their usual club.

“Spit it out, why are you all,” Ben waved his hand in the air, “brooding?”

“Brooding? I- fuck you, I’m not brooding.”

“You’re always brooding,” he rolled his eyes. “But this isn’t your usual brooding, this is a new self-sabotaging brooding.”

“Why don’t you—“ Roy sighed, pursing his lips into a relenting frown. “Ugh…fine, I kind of did something…” he thought it over but gave up. “I don’t know.”

“Oh god,” Ben reached for his imaginary pearls, eyes wide in horror. “You finally killed Joslyn. I knew it, I knew you’d snap one day I just didn’t expect-”

“Would you quit it? I ditched Shane’s party to go have sex with Kylie, okay,” he admitted. “And hey! They’ll never be able to pin that Joslyn shit on me, I know how to hide a body.”

“Oh you’re right,” Ben stood up, pacing the room. “It’s horrible. It’s worse than I thought! Oh my god, Roy,” he stopped to look Roy in the eyes. “You had sex with a beautiful woman and now your life is over.”

“Will you shut the fuck up!” Roy hit his arm.

“Why are you pouting about hitting the jackpot?” Ben came to sit on the counter in front of him, waving his palms in the air.

Roy flashed a shit-eating grin, adding, “Multiple times.” 

“Oh my god,” Ben dropped his hands to his sides. “Get out of my face before I forget I used to like you…How was it?” Ben suddenly asked. His curiosity had gotten the better of him.

“What?” 

“How was it?” Ben shrugged again, his face felt a little darker red than normal, hoping to live vicariously through Roy’s escapades.

“It was…um…“

“Wow, you’re even speechless. That good?” 

“Well, she-“ Roy’s voice broke into a laugh.

“What?” he interrupted him, “she came over and over and called you a god?”

“Not in so many words but…” Roy raised his eyebrows knowingly.

“Roy,” Ben sighed, digging the back of his knuckles into his eyes. “I hate you. I literally…hate you.”

“Wait, weren't you at the party?” Roy sat up straighter, his hands resting on Ben’s thighs.

 He was, but he didn’t particularly feel like talking about it. 

“What did Shane look like after we left? Was he pissed? It was right around when Trixie and Jinkx start—oh,” Roy flinched, pulling back and giving a sympathetic smile. “I forgot, sorry.”

“Oh it’s so fine,” Ben lied, the rise in his voice betrayed him. “But I don’t know, I just stayed till Jinkx showed up and then it got a little awkward.”

“Right,” Roy nodded, and Ben braced himself for the usual pity everyone showed when they talked about his decade long relationship ending. 

“Don’t change the subject.”

“I’m not,” Roy’s pitch rose. “I just, I don’t want to talk about the whole deal with Shane or Kylie. It’s…” he frowned. “It’s complicated. I would rather just ‘brood’ and go find someone else to keep me warm for the night, I guess.”

Ben felt a little twinge of guilt tugging at him, suddenly unsure how to respond to this display of genuine human emotions from a man he thought was half robot. 

“I get what you mean.”  Ben reached out to pat his shoulder. “Since Jinkx and I broke up, I’ve tried reaching out to them just to talk it out, but it’s a weird feeling to have feelings for your friend…you feel me?”

“You are so annoying,” Roy rolled his eyes, grinning ear to ear.

“I know,” Ben nodded, happy to see Roy’s shoulders straighten out again.

“Be honest,” Roy sighed. “You’re not upset because you saw Jinkx at the party with someone new. It’s because that meant you couldn’t get laid, right?”

Leave it to Roy Haylock to be sympathetic in the most roundabout way possible.

“Can’t even try to deny it,” Ben shook his head, his lips pursed in disappointment. “Seriously, I’m so pent up I even winked at my toothbrush.”

“You’re kidding,” 

“It vibrates.” 

Roy’s head flopped backward, laughing louder than he’d heard him in a while.

“It’s bad, Roy. I’m desperate. Yesterday I went to a sex shop and the guy asked how he could help me, I said just give me anything that takes diesel.”

“You’re so stupid,” Roy wiped some tears from his eyes. “Ah…fuck.”

“We can’t all get the hot blondes, can we?”

“Oh please,” Roy huffed. “I’ve been just as dry as you since the party, so don’t try that shit.”

“You mean you’re not all exclusive now?” Ben decided to pry for his own self-satisfaction.

“You know I don’t do relationships, they’re just…not my thing,” Roy shrugged. “I like getting my yums yucked and that’s it.” 

“But I thought-” Ben stopped to frown at the shitty joke Roy made. “I just thought, since you-” 

“You can have sex without dating, Ben,” Roy interrupted with a dry tone. “You can even just have sex with friends if you don’t feel like looking around, it’s fine. Just don’t do it too often; apparently that leads to feelings.”

“Gross.” 

“Horrible,” Roy smiled. “But you know I’m right.”

“I know it’s just, I’ve been with Jinkx since before I transitioned. I haven’t had to date in a decade and it feels a little uncomfortable explaining all this,” he gestured to himself, waving his hands over his body. 

“Hm,” Roy nodded deep in thought. “Yeah, you are abhorrent to be around.”

“The phrase is terminally delightful, I’ll have you know.”

“I prefer you just terminal,” Roy smiled the same fake gotcha grin he gave to hecklers. 

Ben wanted to throw back another zinger but his mind had gone blank. He quickly took another sip from his drink to avoid Roy seeing him stumble.

“Is that another reason why you sleep with friends?” A lightbulb went off over Ben’s head.

“Not exactly,” Roy drew his words out as if he was considering a good way to answer. “But it does help — IF they already know. Adore and I were friends, but she didn’t know the first time we had sex and that was a whole mess.”

“Uh-huh, yeah, right,”  Ben shifted his weight from one foot to another, building the courage to ask. “So um-“ his voice cracked. “So what’re your plans after the show?”

“Nothing yet…” Roy’s dimples deepened into a knowing smile.

“I mean…we both know and we’re not particularly close friends so there’s no risk of it being weird and, you know, it might not be so bad having another option if your bed ever gets too cold.”

“Is that an invitation?” Roy stepped closer.

“Maybe.”

“Ben?” 

Ben looked up, “Yeah?”

“I want to hear you say it first,” Roy smiled, leaning closer to him. “Are you asking to go to bed with me?”

“I could be?” Ben flinched, suddenly too embarrassed to say the words. 

“That’s just maybe with more steps,” Roy grinned. “Yes or no baby.”

Ben’s eyes darted around nervously, finding it hard to keep eye contact or focus and his throat too dry to respond he grabbed Roy’s cheeks and pulled him in for a kiss.

“God yes,” he finally breathed. 

“Wait,” Roy pulled away. “You mean you want to do this right now?”

“Is that a problem?” 

“Not at all,” Roy leaned in, teasing him with another kiss. “You just didn’t seem like the type.”

“Maybe I’m broadening my horizons,” Ben moaned when Roy’s fingers ran through his hair, mentally rolling his eyes at himself. “Pretend you didn’t hear that.”

“Already?” Roy teased.

“Toothbrush.”

“Right, my bad.”

All tension left his body as Roy pressed him against the counter, his thigh between his legs pressing his packer against himself.

Roy’s hands traveled over his body, first caressing along his jaw till his lips replaced them, kissing his neck while his slender fingers whispered down his arms, leaving goosebumps in their trail. 

“Is this okay?” Roy asked when his hands rounded Ben’s hips, giving his ass a firm squeeze through his jeans. Ben nodded. “Use your words, tell me what you want.”

“Can you keep going?” Ben asked, reaching for Roy’s wrist to bring his hand towards his zipper. 

Roy smiled against him, licking a tender spot along his pulse point. “Then what?”

“Then, um-” Roy’s fingers slid down into Ben’s jeans, brushing against his dick. “Yeah, that.”

When Ben started wearing those foam packers built into his underwear at the start of his transition, he did it just because of general laziness, but now it gave Roy such easy access to his target that he couldn’t help but wonder if that was part of the design. 

“Wait!”

“What?” Roy abruptly stopped what he was doing, watching him first with panic then relief as he reached over to lock the door next to them. “Smart.”

“I know,” Ben smiled, wiggling his hips closer to Roy, “But we have to be quick, I have to be on stage in 10 minutes.”

“No, you don’t,” Roy pulled his fingers out to give them a good sloppy lick, “Alyssa’s on, you have at least 30.”

“That would be so much funnier after you finger me,” Ben noted. Cringing at his own brash words. 

“Oh is that what I’m doing?” Roy teased, pulling on Ben’s waistband so he could get a good view before he demanded, “ask nicely first.”

“Pretty please?” Ben felt like rolling his eyes, he wasn’t used to having to beg like this, but he kind of liked it.

Roy, still holding back his waistband so they could both watch, slid his wet fingers back between his thighs.

“Fuck!”  Ben gasped at the relief, forgetting momentarily where they were.

Holding onto the countertop a little tighter for stability, Ben rolled his hips up, grinding his dick between Roy’s flat fingers.

“Oh, that’s so good.” 

“Yeah?” Roy teased him a little longer, his whole hand sliding up and down Ben’s slit. 

His middle fingertip just barely applied any pressure to his entrance but it was enough that Ben could feel the coil in his stomach turn.

Ben reached for his wrist again, guiding his hand back further till Roy got the message.

“Do you want one or two?” he asked.

“One,” Ben swallowed a whimper as Roy’s finger worked him open. 

It felt amazing; the heel of Roy’s palm pressing firmly against him every time he’d curl back inside. All the while Roy watched him with intense focus, biting his lip.

“Faster,” Ben panted, his ass sliding lower off the counter to accommodate easier access for Roy. “But-but let me kiss you.”

Roy leaned in, pressing their bodies together, catching all his moans in his mouth just in time as he curled his finger inwards a little more forcefully, applying more of that intoxicating pressure.

He felt like exploding, like the only thing keeping him grounded was Roy, his lips against his, his flexing shoulder muscles that he clung onto. Even the digit he rode so thoroughly. The thrill of knowing they could be caught pushing him even further. 

Roy gave one more deep push and without warning he burst, all his muscles clenching and releasing over and over. Desperate to hold onto the feeling a little longer he clung onto Roy tighter till he could compose himself.

He waited for Roy to pull out, but instead, he carefully continued his original pattern, just slower. Even the palm against his dick eased up on its pressure, essentially holding him in place till his legs felt stable again.

“That felt really good,” he spoke in his normal tone again. Feeling a bit embarrassed for his reaction. “Thank you.”

“I’m glad,” Roy smiled, pulling his hand back. “But I have to go wash up before my set. We can pick up after, if you want?”

“Really?” 

“Of course,” Roy shrugged. “Didn’t think that’s all I’m leaving you with, did you? I have a reputation to uphold.”

“You’re not powered by diesel are you?” Ben laughed sheepishly, his face still glowing red.

“Nope,” Roy shook his head. “Last I checked just good ol’ Fireball.”

“Well then,” Ben jumped off the counter and zipped up his pants. “Let’s go get you some more!”

-

They were already making out as they entered the apartment, lazily exploring one another's bodies. Tender kisses while fingers spread through hair, down collars and shoulders even as they walked towards the couch. Only stopping when Roy’s calf hit the coffee table.

“Would-would you like something to drink?” Ben asked through their kiss. “Glass of water? A snack? Maybe an hors d’oeuvre?

“No thank you,” Roy smiled against his lips, dragging out another slow kiss. “But I really,” another kiss, “really I appreciate the hospitality.”

He could feel Ben relaxing into his touch, growing more comfortable in the way he was kissing him back, releasing that anxiety he held. 

Roy went to work removing Ben’s shirt, unbuttoning the god-awful rainbow button-up he wore. He could feel Ben’s breathing change but when he reached the last button, he felt his whole posture tighten.

“Huh,” Roy stood back after letting the shirt drop to the floor. He reached for Ben’s chest, gingerly feeling around his collarbones and the top of his pecs; anything not covered by his undershirt. “Well, I’ll be damned.”

“What?” 

“Nothing I just-” He shook his head. “I love a bitch who shaves their chest but not their pubes.”

“Oh. My. God.” Ben rolled his eyes, breaking into a relaxed laugh again. “Watch it,” he said, taking hold of Roy’s chin. “One of these days I’m getting you a muzzle.”

“You know you should wear just this more often,” Roy noted, paying no mind to Ben’s idle threats, tugging at the hem of his white tank top. “You look great in it.”

“You think so?” He blushed.

Roy didn’t answer; he let his actions speak for themselves, pulling Ben’s body against his own so their bulges pressed together, kissing along his stubbled jaw, his neck and down his clavicle. 

As much as he wanted to use his teeth and mark Ben’s pale skin, he didn’t want to put too much on him too fast.

Till he pulled off Ben’s shirt and saw his exposed torso, instinctively he reached for his sides, pulling his chest closer to suck on the skin near the center of his sternum. His teeth grazed the soft flesh, nipping delicately when Ben coughed.

“Um, could you be a little more careful around,” he circled his chest, “there? It’s still a little…unpleasant.”

“Gotcha,”  Roy skipped his chest, instead traveling lower to his belly, kissing below his belly button where Ben came alive. 

It was like a switch was flipped; Ben’s hands on the back of his head gently nudging him lower till Roy got the message. 

Roy helped him backwards to lay down on the corner sofa where he could more easily remove Ben’s jeans. 

The little whimpered breaths escaping Ben’s lips every time Roy’s hands touched a new part of his exposed skin made him almost too irresistible. 

He took his sweet time, making sure his nails raked up and down his legs whenever he’d remove another piece of clothing, especially his underwear. 

Ben’s hips practically bucked up on their own when he finally settled between his thighs, his fingertips dancing around his hip bones, over his belly and his rapidly rising and falling chest. 

Watching his body language intensely to gauge when he’d had enough. 

“If this is payback for heckling you during your set that one time,“ Ben sighed, sitting up on his elbows so he could see what was taking so long.

“Not at all,” Roy shook his head, following Ben’s eyes down to where his fingertips were playing with his haphazardly trimmed pubes. He kept getting so close to his dick but never close enough, no matter how much Ben’s hips tried wiggling closer. “I just like taking my time so I know what feels good.”

“What if I just tell you what feels good?” Ben snarked, more annoyed this time.

“Where’s the fun in that?” Roy’s tongue brushed against him, earning a long awaited moan, his deep voice practically vibrating through Roy’s body. 

“I see your point,” Ben swallowed, holding Roy’s head with the back of his hand. His hips riding against his face more with each deliberate flick of his tongue till Roy was satisfied enough spit had worked its way down. 

He gave another long, flat lick for good measure before working a finger in, tip first, steadily curling it inwards till Ben melted into nothingness.

He kissed along his thighs, sucking in bits of soft flesh as Ben fucked down into his finger till his moans turned ragged. 

“Oh, f-fuck!” Ben exclaimed, falling back into the sofa when Roy took his dick in his mouth again, sucking on it the same way he’d done his now bruised thighs, all while pressing a little harder into his g-spot. 

When he hollowed out his cheeks Ben was practically shaking, his knuckles tight on the blanket underneath him, and just when Roy started to feel him clench around his finger he pulled out. Leaving Ben practically weeping.

He knew it was a little cruel, but that was half the fun — feeling Ben get desperate. The way his body writhed under his touch was too delicious.

“Impatient?” 

“You have no idea,” Ben panted, catching a little giggle in his throat, his eyes still shut tight. 

“Here, can you keep yourself busy for a second while I grab the rod?” Roy asked, guiding Ben’s hand between his thighs.

“Sure.” Ben sat up, holding back from touching himself too much and spoiling the fun while he watched Roy. “What’s the rod?”

“It’s the,” Roy dug a black satin bag out of the backpack they’d dropped on the floor when they walked in. “The thing that makes me uh, erect. Unless…do you not want-“

“Oh!” Ben blushed, catching on to what Roy meant. “So you are actually going to-“

“Fuck you?” Roy smirked. “If you would like that, then yeah.”

“Hm-mh,” Ben nodded enthusiastically, clearly pleased with this turn of events. “I’d like that very much.”

“I mean,” Roy momentarily lost his train of thought as he watched Ben take his little solo session further, sliding his hand down to use his own wetness as lube to jerk off with. “Oh don’t do this to me,” he growled, palming himself through his pants, finding he was the one growing desperate now. “God I want to fuck you.”

“Better hurry up then.”

Roy didn’t waste any time removing his shoes, his pants or anything else in his way. He did his best to slip his rod into his packer while it was against him. A little awkward at first with his jeans unbuttoned around his hips but he managed. 

And Ben, with his own sense of urgency, certainly wasn’t going to complain about his efficiency.

“Here,” Roy finally stood back in front of him again, handing him a condom and a small foil packet of lube. 

This felt different for Ben than he thought it would, a sense of calm and almost comradery with Roy that he didn’t think he’d feel with new partners. 

Maybe because of their years-long acquaintanceship, or the fact that he knew Roy understood how to work his body better than most cis partners would.

“Ready?” Roy asked, looking down at him, eyes hungry as Ben worked his dick, slathering it in lube. Roy’s chest rose with every stroke, finally showing his own signs of impatience. 

“Uh huh.” He nodded, rolling over on all fours with his ass in the air so Roy would have a better angle to work with.

“Fuck, just look at you,” Roy exhaled, admiring Ben’s slick thighs and wet pubes, spreading him open with his fingers.

“Oh for the love of…just put it in already,” Ben caught himself.

“Well well,” Roy smacked him on the ass, rubbing his tip around Ben’s entrance. 

Given everything else, Ben expected Roy to be brash and controlling, just blindly shoving it in. But no, he actually took the time with his hands on the small of his back to guide it in as carefully as he could till Ben was ready to push back.

Still, he couldn’t help but let out a whine when he felt the familiar sharp pressure wash over him. It had been so long since he’d been with another partner, it almost took him by surprise how different he felt. 

“More.” He reached back and tapped Roy’s leg.

Roy’s hips moved slowly, thrusting his whole dick in till it hit his ass before he’d slide out. Praising him all the way with soft touches to his body. 

The back of his nails trailing thin lines along his thighs and up his ass, grabbing a fistful to use as leverage to push back into him.

“Fuck you’re good at that,” Ben moaned, dropping his head deeper into the sofa cushions.

He was so focused on all the sensations tingling along his skin and through his body, he almost missed Roy’s breathing pick up, but once he heard it he lasered in.

Paying close attention to every sound that came from him till he couldn’t resist sneaking a peek, peering over his shoulder to catch a glimpse of Roy’s face.

He was beautiful, with his brows furrowed tight, eyes locked on where their bodies met, mouth opened as he let out deep breaths and hushed moans. Sweat beads collected on his chest, rising and falling faster.

Then he clocked it, every now and then he’d slip; he’d shut his eyes and try to catch his breath discreetly, his mouth contorting into silent curses as if he was holding himself back.

Ben couldn’t take it anymore, he nervously tapped back behind him, reaching for any part of him. “I..I’m gonna come…”

“Already?” Roy asked smugly, forcefully pulling Ben back against his chest, trapping him in his arms so he could pick up his pace.

“Shut up,” Ben groaned, guiding Roy’s hand to his dick. 

“Like before, please…like…” He croaked, turning into a ragdoll in Roy’s arms. “Like that…more like that…”

He had no clue how good it was going to feel until, out of nowhere, he couldn’t stop his hips from shaking.

The rest of his body tingled like he was about to experience the best out of control high of his life. Roy’s proud smile and own moans caught in the back of his neck as he pounded into him.

His hips slapping into his ass faster the more incoherent Ben’s cries grew till everything went into free fall. 

Any ability to breath or speak or even think was inexplicably lost on him. Like his whole body was being consumed by this deep pleasure washing over him.

He thanked God or whoever would listen for Roy’s arms still around him, grounding him as he slowly descended from whatever cloud he’d accidentally floated to. Talking him down with inaudible sweet nothings and kissing along his back. 

“Goddamn,” Roy sighed satisfactorily, carefully pulling out of him.

“I wouldn’t quite say you’re a god,” Ben curled his lip, “maybe god-like…god-esque.” 

“I’ll be sure to put that on my resumé,” Roy pushed him down into the couch pillows, back to his old self. 

“So do you use that thing on everyone?” he asked, now sitting upright when Roy came back from discarding the condom.

“Only if they want me to,” Roy shrugged, leaning down to kiss him tenderly, as if this was natural for them.

“And do they reward you for it?” He pulled their lips apart, unsure what else to do or say in the moment. 

“Only if I want them to.”

With his big puppy dog eyes still looking up at him, Ben reached for Roy’s half zipped jeans, sliding them off till he could step out of them.

“Do we still need this?” Ben asked, poking at Roy’s packer.

“Depends what you have in mind?”

“I can manage,” Ben smiled, running his hands towards Roy’s ass where he pulled off his underwear, making a mental note about the inside of his packer having ridges to grind against. “Close your eyes.”

Roy hesitated, but with a deep breath in he obeyed.

Ben reached behind him, fumbling with some of the blankets and pillows spread out on the sofa till he found his target.

Roy waited patiently, his lips twitching into a smile at the anticipation of what could possibly be waiting for him. 

“Oh…fu-uck,”  Roy moaned, his eyes shooting open when he felt something vibrate against him. “Dirty trick you pulled there, huh?”

“I know,” Ben blushed, proud of himself. With his free arm around Roy’s waist he pulled him down onto the seat, switching their original positions but this time with Ben between his legs.

He wasn’t much of a tease, preferring to get straight to the point and licking around Roy’s dick as soon as he got up close with it. Something which Roy, still rock hard and deprived of his earlier orgasm, greatly appreciated.

Roy was so lost in the moment he didn’t even pick up that Ben had reached for the packet of lube still next to him till he felt the cold sticky touch of the vibrator nudging around his core.

Normally Roy wouldn’t think twice about asking his partner to stick to his growth and avoid wandering hands or tongues. But after his encounter with Kylie he’d grown a new tolerance, some might even say fondness, for some experimenting.

Ben must’ve picked up on this as he asked, “is this okay?” 

“Yeah,” Roy gulped, finding his hips instinctively rolled up against the gentle buzzing of the toy. “But I think just, just keep that there.”

Ben followed orders extremely well, responding with glee to each hair tug or grunt coming from Roy, pleasuring him just how and where he needed it most.

“I’m so grateful you’re a better cocksucker than you are a writer,” Roy joked, grabbing a good handful of curly black hair so he could fuck his face.

“That’s it,” Ben pulled back, shaking his hand loose. He stood up, reached for the nearest piece of fabric and shoved it unceremoniously into Roy’s mouth before he could get another word out. “I warned you.”

Roy wanted to protest, but he was laughing too hard at the unexpected turn of events, ready to pull Ben’s underwear out of his mouth and throw another jab when he sunk between his legs again.

Hollowing his cheeks out around Roy’s dick, he swirled his tongue around the head, making him cry out in glorious ecstasy. He bit down into the underwear, feeling unexpectedly grateful for it as his hips bucked under him.

Pressing the tip of the toy he’d forgotten about against himself, causing a loud guttural moan he didn’t know he had in him. 

He looked up at Ben, frantically searching for his eyes to warn him of what was about to happen when Ben let his dick go with a loud pop. Flicking the tip with his pointed tongue instead.

“Oh fuck you,” Roy managed through the muffle of the fabric.

Roy was a mess. He could picture it, envisioning how pathetic he must have looked with his sweat drenched forehead, trembling thighs and clenched fists either side of Ben’s head as he rode him for dear life.

He was so close, right about to cross the threshold when the vibrations went from perfect to too much, overstimulating him in a way he wasn’t used to. 

“What do you need?” Ben asked, removing the underwear from his mouth. 

“This…it’s-it’s-“ he could barely form a sentence, feebly trying to reach for the toy but Ben got the general idea, turning it on a lower setting instead. “Yeah, that’s…it…fuck!”

Roy came louder than he’d anticipated, forgetting for a second about the person trapped between his clenched shut thighs till he heard Ben wince.

He let go, throwing his arms back either side of himself to grab whatever blankets laid under him when he felt the sensation change.

Ben, ever the fast learner, had shifted his technique; sliding Roy’s dick in and out between his lips while licking along the underside, easing him through the torturous sensitivity till he felt the knot in his belly tighten again. 

For probably the first time in his life, Roy was speechless, utterly out of a single word to say as he watched with strained eyes the way his dick disappeared between those thin lips. 

His mouth agape as he rode out the second wave till he couldn’t take it anymore. Unable to show any composure or even pretend to. His whole body shuddering uncontrollably as he fucked Ben’s face, whimpering broken commands and praises along the way.

Ben’s beautiful big eyes watching him with endearment he’d never noticed from him before.

“Jesus christ, that…that’s—“ He pulled out of Ben’s mouth, giving his dick a few more deliberate strokes till it stopped pulsing. “Fucking…perfect.”

Finally satisfied, he plopped himself down dramatically, arms stretched out above his head as Ben’s fingers massaged his thigh, caressing his sore muscles.

“God that was fun,” Ben surprised him by gliding his hands along his flexed abs, making his skin tingle with a strange delight. “Do…do you think we could, maybe do that again?”

“Oh we are definitely doing that again, goddamn.” Roy exhaled, a chuckle in his throat.

He could feel a wet spot under his butt, unsure if it was him or Ben’s spit from his sloppy blowjob. 

He ran his hand down his slit where they both watched as he pulled his finger back with a sticky line of his cum following out. “Jesus christ, I don’t think I’ve been like this in ages,” he laughed nervously. “I need a towel or something.”

“Oh my god, that’s so hot,” Ben said, watching him, practically licking his lips at the sight. 

“You like that baby?” Roy hammed it up, arching his back a little so Ben could get a first class view of his fingers spreading a mix of cum and lube around himself.

Ben reached over and with his thumb lifted Roy’s dick, gently rubbing the underside of it till it gave a weak twitch back to life. 

“I never realized how big you were,” he admitted, blushing slightly. “Real mouthful.” 

“Honduran.” Roy shrugged as if he hadn’t told that joke a million times, pulling Ben closer so they’d be straddled together. “Why? You are ready for a little more.”

He watched Ben pretend to think it over, eyes gleaming with enthusiasm as he nodded eagerly, “What’s another round between friends, right?” 

Pride Challenge Points: 11,202

[the-firebird69]

Tommy Allen & company have been on trial by the max for leading a revolution against them no recently found guilty in the max declared war on them they saw them rally other people's support today earlier and saw them send out their bunker findings over the past three weeks and help people get ready. Now they're losers this are the size of the force and then thought they'd use it and control the whole fight they're taking over DC New York City and all the other capitals. Other molars ran came here California other places and evacuated Biden and the McDonald's left leaving them completely exposed to the max who are now going to crush them and have stated so then said to others come back at your own risk. And it's a huge deal but we said they're going to get pummeled and not by the idiots who are going to check out so it's a good deal they get beat by going there and they get beat by going to the bunkers

Thor Freya

It's all around success for real and it's working and these people are cruel and mean and stupid and they're very very crass they're insane they're so backwards they couldn't tell what would happen they look at him saying so what they attack us we should just come in and wipe you out like they usually do they say this we don't have any chance it probably not because you don't listen to people and that's the way it is and you're mean. Saying who gives a f*** every time the guy said it you start saying that who cares who cares and it's true too so sitting there and seeing stuff and they finally said this they Don't really Care at all and going around making it worse so let's try yelling and screaming when our son left at each other send them back up there all sorts of dumb s*** and I sense it's time to get away from these idiots and let them kill each other so they left that's the four and they're sitting there fighting each other like little f*** wrestling poking each other with stuff someone said he has a knife and it's a small knife fight broke out now they are really mean to PG and they try to start a knife fight with him and he's saying don't do it and he had it in hand they didn't see it they came right up to him and he hit him and the neck and he was holding his hand the guy fell over dead some of the guy came up and said how come those blood on your hand he said oh this and he opened the knife and he said oh oh so he ran MPG ran up behind him and stabbed him right in the back of the neck it didn't like five people and left said bleed out get real sick say stupid s*** and f*** us up who cares we're all done anyways and he's right you people are f*** ups I hope it gets out of this is trying to be nice all the time to you people doing it all the time

Now we're going to war with these little idiots we see what the problem is they don't listen to anyone they're not afraid of anyone they don't fight they go into these bunker areas and getting wiped out and they're just standing there

So he said to one group why don't you just make a speech or something he said to a bunch so sitting there yacking and another group started coming in saying shut the f****** and move and they wouldn't and it was a fight and the max was so insulted they wiped them out they say it's a distraction not really I just haven't started yapping it's supposed to be doing a speech but I just think they can at the same time the dumber then that's tube sock there's dumb as a quarter that has nothing on it so they started laughing saying we take these people to seriously and them not at all and they're horrendously evil you say go that way then go that way whether it's good for them or not it's easy so the guy told people trying to do some maneuvers on these little idiots and they're getting them in there and killing them it's only me like an hour and it's going to be a full percentage point down to 7%, no it's probably be 2 or 3%. It's just really like a holocaust or so damn dumb so it might go down to 5% and globally there being attacked they're trying to move people out and now they're resisting saying we can't have you here you're going to mess up our money and all this other stuff so people are ordering troops down there to get the idiots out and we can cordon off the max and it's going to work for us

Thor Freya

Olympus this works out better by the way

You can see him struggling with it he didn't know which way to do it and he says that's fine push him out and push him out here and he needs them to come here but tons of them are anyways I'm going to push the idiots out just like they are elsewhere they're push them out of Miami in the blob everywhere and they'll have to push them out

Zig Zag

We're pleased to announce that we're probably not going to do that stuff okay I might but they can't and he says put in an edict and you got a deal we have a lot of stuff going on right now and it's all battle stuff and it's huge and the beer really helps these people are so dumb so we know what ship it was but we're bringing more and more and more beer and he says he's probably bring it to their areas where they're trying to stage so we're doing that now you got permission to bring tons in they'll want more of it and has a label beer so he ordered a ton for the island and my husband says for AI boy I will do it all it says this we made the program in the second castle no in the tower no at Carnegie Mellon of course not oh so now you get it and people are starting to follow that

Hera

Olympus

[myelocin]

tw: manipulation(?) dub/non con 

this is really a weird topic for me to touch but i think i’m at that very weird stage where i’m becoming aware,,,3 years later,,,ab how vile some people can be. i can’t stress it enough, if you are 18 and someone who is notably older than you expresses interest and gasses u up ab how “mature” u are,, please literally just turn around and walk the other direction. 

growing up, i’ve always considered myself to have always been situationally aware on stuff, and that often led me to just brush off incidents into a lighthearted thing. very big mistake. i jumped around from house to house since i was young and was on the side of life where i sort of got forced to grow up early,,so i always thought i was more adult than i actually was. (i’m literally still not,, i’m 21 now and i still am a child LMAO) but bro. the world shifts the second u turn 18. people are vile. men are vile. that 26 yo guy who was just your friend will gas you up and tell you that this and that is okay until they get what they want. you will feel like you’re alright, you can “handle” it, and you’re an adult anyway so why not, but please for the love of god walk away. 

the fact that u have to even convince urself that ur an adult and hype yourself up to believe what a 26 yo man is telling u is a clear sign that no u aren’t ready for involvement like that. 

regret is inevitable in the world and i always believe in letting people make their mistakes to learn lessons but when it comes to shit like this im begging u to just hear me out and walk away if god forbid u get into situations like that. when people say you’re just 18 it isn’t a means to demean ur maturity,,but this is just us looking out for u bc HDSJFHJDHFSJKHKDFJHJ this kind of regret will eat u alive for years.

u cry infront of that man and he will listen until he gets what he wants. i cried in front of this guy and told him ab how my own uncle touched me when i was 9 and he cried with me,,,then basically fabricated this so called “safe space” that was only there to take advantage of me later on. people are vile. u are so,,,,,,worthy of being encased in love and protected as much as possible so pls literally just cut that cord and walk away. no u dont need to feel bad if u need to block him bc just do it <3 there is no reason a man at that age should be looking at a teenager and gassing her up for being sO maturE and think that’s validation for them to have a pass and touch u. 

i just think i need to be blunt ab this bc this is another one of those nights where i’m remembering my shit decisions and wonky mindset frm when i was younger and i’m just now staring at a wall while i’m trying to get stuff done and blanking out for a solid 25 minutes before breaking down and feeling gross ab it. i WISH someone told me i was being a dumb bitch at that age. i WISH someone yanked my phone out of my hand. i WISH i had someone tell me this. i didn’t have that, so now i periodically rmb it and want to throw up, but i can leave this here and hope it reaches who it needs to reach. 

as always if u need to talk for ANYTHING, my dms are always always open. this just a little blog and a miniscule corner but i want to reach out as much as i can and talk to whoever needs it. i love you ok. please stay safe.

[lady-z-writes]

Plaything (Heisenberg x fem!reader)

Chapter 4 (of 5)

Summary: Reader works for BSAA and is scoping out the village until you get captured by none other than Heisenberg who doesn’t take well to trespassers. Once he learns of your hatred for your job, he wants the information you have and he doesn’t have to try hard to get it. You find yourself drinking, fireside, with him and can’t help but let him touch you. Angie said he’d needed a plaything and, well, you’re it.

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Smut with (some) plot, chapter 4 below the cut:

You can remember the feel of a scratchy washcloth against your skin. It’s warm and the movement against your nipples is gentle. You want nothing more than to sleep right now, but you open your eyes and note a very shirtless, very tentative Heisenberg cleaning you up.

A moan leaves you as you try to shift over, cover your tits, go back to sleep – but he grips your wrist gently and easily turns you back over.

He chuckles. “Wore you out, huh?” his cocky smirk makes you smile back. “Just…let me do this then you can sleep.”

You nod, eyelids feeling heavy, and you let him take care of you.

When he’s done, you watch him turn toward his desk but your hand juts out to grab his wrist this time. He halts, slowly glances down at you.

“Stay,” you hum, shifting on his bed. “Please?”

Before long, you feel the bed dip from his weight beside you and you let yourself rest.

•••

It’s night by the time you wake again and he’s no longer in the bed with you, but you see the moonbeams through the curtains and stare up at the stars for a moment.

The breeze makes you cold and you reach for a nearby shirt of his. It’s white and shows your nipples through it, but the warmth is a comfort.

An empty room greets you when you look around. There are journals and books you’d never really paid attention to before. A part of you is tempted to flip through them, but you’re reminded of the behavior Heisenberg clearly wants you to exhibit.

Instead, you grab your boots and decide to shower off the events from the other night.

The water is scolding but perfect as you wash with his shampoo. It’s lonelier than last time, but your mind needs some clarity.

What you stumbled into…it’s laughable. If you’d been on any other team with any other lord, Heisenberg probably wouldn’t have saved you. You won’t let your mind wander to the others for too long – how their carcasses are probably tossed away somewhere and forgotten about right now. Heisenberg has his moments, sure, but you’re alive and it’s a kindness he didn’t need to do.

Your fingers are macerated so you shut off the faucet, reach for a towel. Sleep did you good, food would do you better. When your eyes travel to the doorway, you can’t help but scream.

A Soldat stands in the doorway.

Wrapping a towel around yourself, you press your back to the shower wall, breath coming in rapid bursts. The Soldat simply attempts to shove its way into the bathroom, but it doesn’t fit and the drill hits the wall instead.

There’s no other way out and you’re pretty sure the thing is going to drill through the wall. It manages quicker than you expect and you’re still in the shower stall, holding onto the towel for dear life as it strides toward you.

Its one drill gets stuck on the stall door, the other reaching you and digging into your arm. Another scream and you’re cowering down in the corner of the stall, pressing your hand against the bleeding wound.

In a blink, the Soldat is tossed against the other wall and Heisenberg steps into the shower. His eyes take in the blood.

“Can you stand?”

You’re in shock, but you nod quickly and you don’t stop nodding until he’s got you out of the room.

He sits you in his desk chair and grips your wrist, turning your arm over to see if the puncture wound went all the way through. You dare to look at it and see the gouge in your arm, blood oozing onto the towel.

“Next time,” he growls, pulling the towel down and exposing your breasts. “You get me before you shower.”

It hurts when he presses the towel to the wound, applying pressure to stop the bleeding. You grit your teeth, reminded of a recent mission you were wounded in. Pain is temporary, you remind yourself as he cleans off the wound.

He actually has gauze and it feels good once he’s wrapping the wound.

“I didn’t mean to upset you,” you find yourself saying. “I’m sure you were busy.” You notice his eyes take in your nakedness. “Thank you…for everything.”

“This place isn’t safe for you, clearly. Don’t leave my sight again.”

You convince him you need food so he lets you get dressed. You’re afraid to enter where the Soldat is, but you grab the shirt and boots and run back to Heisenberg. He watches you dress in his white shirt and your knee-high boots.

“You are entirely too distracting,” he hums, staring at your nipples through the shirt.

In an instant, you’re shoved to the nearest wall, hands above your head, Heisenberg pressing a palm against your fists. He kisses you deeply, body flush against yours. His hand travels between you two and he plays with your clit. You not wearing panties has proven to be very distracting.

His fingers arched inside of you, mouth pressing kisses to your neck, you’re once again so pleasured. It feels like a wave consuming you – distracting you momentarily from your hunger.

“I’ve got to finish up a project,” he mutters against your neck. “What should I do with you?”

“You want to keep fucking me, you’ve gotta let a girl eat,” you quip.

Heisenberg blinks at you as he pulls away. “What a mouth on you…” he raises a brow. “Fine. It’ll keep you quiet while I work.”

He doesn’t have anything spectacular to eat but you manage to scrounge together something simple – some bread, veggies, more fruit. There’s some granola bars and you’re wondering where he got them but your curiosity melts away when he demands you get done and follow him. Snagging one, you scurry off behind him.

You’re deeper into the factory than you’ve ever been and it’s a bit overwhelming. Heisenberg drones on about some projects and gives you more information on the ins and outs of the Soldats. He claims he doesn’t expect you to work on any today, but you find it hard to believe. The man seems like he’s always plotting.

Halfway through the granola bar, he calls you over to help him but loud growling and snarling nearby alerts you both.

“Shit,” Heisenberg is suddenly irritated as he meanders to a window. His hand slams against the wall. “That oversized, psycho bitch.”

He’s spinning on his heels and approaching you quickly as you swallow your last mouthful of food. Eyes wide, you stare as he strides toward you and pulls your arm. As he’s dragging you down the hallway, you’re struggling to get out of his grip and repeating, “what’s wrong?”

“Apparently since I haven’t checked in recently, I get to be dropped in on by my sister.”

Your mouth goes dry at the thought and you stutter out a, “what do we do?”

•••

“You overgrown waste of space, get out.”

You can hear them yelling somewhere up above, but Karl had specific instructions to take the elevator two floors down, walk through the doors to the left, and take off down the hallway from there. He said wherever you’d go, he’d find you but as your eyes take in the maze down here, you worry that isn’t true.

Still, what choice do you have? It’s either this or be skewered by his false sister once she finds out you’re still alive. The thought chills you.

Deep in the maze now, you hear the movement of the elevator and their raised voices stirring about. Metal clangs, screaming, and crashing sounds above and as you hear the shifting of the elevator again, you break out in a full sprint.

Adrenaline coursing through you, it’s like an electric shock to your senses. The metal clanging almost seems louder and you wonder if Karl is doing that just to alert you where they are.

You’re good and lost by now, entering rooms that attach to other rooms; trying to find a hiding spot before you realize they’re moving again.

Her senses are sharp, apparently.

Approaching a room deep in the maze of things, you see a few lights on; wonder what he uses this for – but your wondering is cut short by the shadow of a figure standing in the nearby doorway.

An almost-scream leaves your throat but you cover your mouth with both hands in attempt to silence yourself.

The beast grunts, approaching slowly. Both arms are drills – the same version of the Soldat that attacked you earlier. It raises its drills in a readying attack.

You run back the way you came, back to the parts of the factory you know these things aren’t. Karl had mentioned before to stay near him if you were ever to venture out, but given the current unexpected guest, you’d had no other choice.

The creature charges after you, its grunting loud. Of course you look back at it – its grey skin – it’s like you still can’t believe what you’re seeing.

You manage to find your way back to a main hallway and take it all the way down. Glancing back, you think you’ve lost it…and then a loud clanging noise greets your ears.

It feels like everything is in slow motion when you turn. The oversized woman from the church stands just off the elevator, her long claws reflecting light. You can hear your heartbeat in your ears and as she charges at you, you see Heisenberg swing his hammer behind her.

With a flick of his wrist, he sends a bunch of metal scraps toward you with such power, you’re crashing against the nearest wall.

“I told you to stay out of it,” he’s yelling and it makes you hold your breath from on the ground.

“You kept her?” the woman screams. “I’ve known you to do some stupid things, but this?”

“Yack yack, go squawk to Miranda.”

“Do you know who they are?” she gasps. You notice Heisenberg is silent. “The others I brought to Castle Dimitrescu, they offered up knowledge: these people were meant to gather information on us,” she’s screaming at him. “And yet you keep this spy as a plaything? I knew you had intentions, idiot man-thing. You need to take care of this now.”

She clicks her tongue when she notices you pulling Heisenberg’s shirt down to cover yourself – feeling exposed.

“Oh, believe me, I will…” his voice is polished, mannerly. It stops you in your tracks. “You know how I don’t like anyone ruining my fun. This little slut has been sucking and fucking all night. I’m using her until I’m done and then I’ll string her body up for the Lycans.”

The tall woman lifts her chin with an inhale. You notice as she takes you in, Heisenberg is glancing down the hall you ran from, as if looking for his creation.

“Well, I…” the woman pauses. “I suppose I must honor Mother Miranda’s choices – though they may be poor at times.” A nod. She steps toward you, punctures the skin on your chest. “You disgusting harlot. I hope you rot.”

You cry out from the pain, try backing away, but are pinned to the wall suddenly by metal wrapping around your wrists.

“I’ll take it from here, dear sister,” Heisenberg sneers. “It’s my hour of need and…I’m sure you don’t want to be around when I take what I’m owed.”

The suggestive tone in his voice makes the woman sneer at him.

“Fine. Show me out.” She stands at full height and saunters over to the elevator. Just as you think you’re safe, she pauses, sniffs the air. “She’s not alone.”

“What?”

“There’s another.”

“What do you mean?” he’s spastic now.

“Did you bring another here?”

“No,” he quirks a brow at her. “Sure you aren’t losing it? Hat’s too big for your head – no time for big brain moments.”

She rolls her eyes and follows him to the elevator.

Heisenberg leaves you here, pinned up to the wall, crying and bleeding and praying to a higher power that thing doesn’t find its way back here or you’re dead.

And as the minutes tick by, you wonder just how honest he was being with his sister…was this all a ruse? His kindness just an extended roleplay to get what he wanted out of you before killing you?

The movement of the elevator startles you once again. A part of you is grateful for his return, meaning the monster may be kept at bay; yet you’re worried what his intentions are.

As he strides over to you against the wall, he exhales cigar smoke in your face.

“I like you strung up like that. My shirt, nipples hard, legs spread…” He kisses you then and you want to lean into it, but you’re frozen. He notices, pulls back. “Ah, I see the gears turning now…” he taps the cigar ashes off on your arm. “Not to worry, kitten. I’ll take care of you.”

The movement to your left makes your stomach drop. The monster from before lurches into view – loud and menacing.

“Should I let it repeat the scene from earlier? Your blood shed and my family won’t be forced to check on me anymore. No doubt Miranda’s about to find out about the fact that you’re still living…” as he rambles, the Soldat storms closer.

“Stop,” you whisper out, shaking.

He examines you then, “That’s real fear there, isn’t it, doll?” he huffs a laugh. “You truly think that I’m that much of a monster? To waste such a pretty specimen on such a gruesome death? No.” He snaps his fingers and uses his powers to urge the Soldat back down the hallway. “You’re lucky.” Another exhale of smoke in your face before he shifts his hands and the metal holding you to the wall loosens enough for you to slide to the floor. “Come on. Get up. No use wasting our time sulking.”

You’re hesitant to follow him to the elevator. Once again he’s acting so flippant and you’re afraid to let your guard down.

Still, what choice do you have? You follow wordlessly because you’re stuck here even if you find out he’s a bad man.

He chuckles at you as you join him on the elevator. “All that spunk is gone?”

You open your mouth to speak, close it, inhale sharply. He blinks slowly at you, crossing his arms.

“What the Hell was that? Are you planning on killing me, Heisenberg? Is this just some drawn out roleplay fantasy of yours? Fuck me, give me Stockholm Syndrome, then off to create me into some corpse of a machine?”

He smirks around the cigar as you raise your voice at him.

“There she is,” he hisses, grabbing you by the hair. “I wondered how long that fear would hide your attitude.”

When the elevator stops, he motions for you to follow him. You hesitate, but you do; slowly, cautiously. The maze of the factory takes you to his quarters in a way you can’t imagine memorizing. He’s silent as you walk together.

Barely into the room, he reaches for your shirt and rips down. The buttons go flying everywhere and the garment falls to the floor – leaving you naked minus your boots.

Heisenberg’s hands move as a collar and chains float behind you. You’re trying to maneuver away but it clasps around your neck before you can move too far. The chains are all connected, your wrists clasped behind your back. Heisenberg shoves you to your knees and you feel cold shackles around your ankles.

Eyes wide, mouth open, you’re too stunned to speak.

He’s in front of you in seconds, looking down at you like he’s inspecting his work. The way he licks his lower lip makes you shift your gaze to his erection right before your eyes.

“Too easy. Didn’t even put up a fight. You going soft on me, kitten? Or is it that you want this?”

He pulls a glove off, crouches down to your level, reaches in between your legs, and feels your wetness. A low groan leaves him.

“Wh-what are you…-”

“You so enjoy this, [Y/N]. Don’t act like you don’t, just embrace it. You like being my plaything – it’s the best job you’ve ever had.”

“Worst pay I’ve ever had,” you retort. It’s sort of a joke, you think.

His hand cups around your throat and he presses in warning.

“Real cute, huh?” He shoves you off, stands back up. “Mmm you have no idea how badly I want that mouth of yours on my cock…but I’ve got a few notes to take and a phone call to see if my dear brother knows of your survival yet. And you’re going to kneel and wait for me.”

He presses his hand to the back of your head, shoves his crotch in your face for a moment until you struggle against him, still unsure how to read the situation.

Finally, he pulls away, leaves you on the filthy floor, and sits himself at his desk.

“You should have just killed me on the bridge if this was all your plan.”

He doesn’t even look at you, which had been a hope of yours. You want to see his expression, see his eyes.

“Keep talking and I’ll bolt metal across your lips.”

Things go silent until he has to make his phone call – just pen scratches across paper and the normal metal clanging of the factory. You imagine more of those Soldats are stomping around somewhere and the image makes you shudder.

You barely notice when he’s picked up the phone, you’re too busy focusing on the pain in your knees.

“No, Moreau, this isn’t Miranda…” he sighs into the receiver. “Yes, I’ve heard that they were agents…no, I’m not worried…look, you globular piss baby: has Lady Gargantuan called you today?...”

You’re waiting for his response to continue but Heisenberg has gone silent. His back is to you so you can’t read his expression once again. You see his shoulders move with his breathing.

Suddenly, the receiver slams.

“This arrangement isn’t going to last long,” he growls as he stands, knocking over his chair.

Before you can respond, he uses his powers to lift up the metal chains around you and toss you to the bed. Face-planted, you struggle to sit up, turn over.

“If that weeping sack of mucus knows, you can bet he’s told the star of his Oedipus Complex.”

Heisenberg is unbuckling his belts, tossing off his shirt, completely undressing with each step toward the bed. You watch him from your awkward, uncomfortable position and your stomach flips.

When he flops down on the bed, he pulls the chains so you’re forced to straddle him. In ankle and wrist restraints, your range of movement is significantly reduced. He knows this. It’s clearly doing something for him as you watch his dick get hard again.

“Ride my cock, [Y/N],” he demands.

Your knees ache, but he helps pull you down onto him and the instant pleasure makes you forget about the soreness in your knees for a little while. Your legs can only spread so far with these ankle cuffs but that sort of adds to the sensation with how tight you are against him.

“Karl,” you whine.

“Mmm, yes, pet?”

“What are you gonna do to me?” your voice brakes as tears fill your eyes.

His expression changes for a fleeting moment. The ankle shackles are opened with a wave of his hand. You feel your knees buckle under you and you fall face-first into his broad chest. Heisenberg runs a hand through your hair, trace down your back. You feel him press his lips against the top of your head, a moan making his chest rumble as he thrusts up into you.

“Right now, I’m gonna enjoy you,” he speaks softly. “We’ll figure out the rest in the morning.”

It’s a soft moment and it catches you off guard. You lift your head up and meet eyes with him. It’s then that you realize his intentions, know in your heart that he was putting on a front for Lady Dimitrescu.

Suddenly, the position you’re in doesn’t seem so dire.

[mikasaessucasaa]

Title: Prince's Ransom

Summary: Pirate captain Asami saves Prince Iroh from Davy Jones’ locker and decides to ransom him.

For @orangepanic

PART 1 ... PART 2 – PART 3

Asami left Iroh in her quarters and headed to the galley to grab food for the both of them. He was quite the grumpy prince, probably because he’d yacked up his last meal. She wasn’t sure any of the months old food would help settle him, but she was hungry too.

Mako was already standing in the galley, looking displeased at her.

“Waiting for me, Mako?” she asked sweetly.

Mako ignored her. Her sweetness stopped working on him long ago, even with their complicated history. “This is a bad idea, Asami.”

She walked past him to gather a few sea biscuits, dried meats, and considered the pickled carrots. All the fresh eggs have probably been snatched up for the day, but maybe there was some goat milk left over. “Oh come on, you out of everyone knows how badly we need the gold for supplies. We haven’t been able to get a good catch in weeks.”

“He’s the Fire Nation Prince! You’re practically putting a target on our backs!” Mako started raising his voice.

Asami always welcomed dissenting ideas, but she hated it when Mako started raising his voice. It gave her a headache, and she was already cranky after spending so much time with Iroh, as handsome as he was.

“Got to risk big if we want to win big, Mako.” She rubbed her head. Goat milk wasn’t worth staying another minute getting nagged by Mako. She grabbed a bottle of rum, and headed back up. As she reached the top of the stairs she turned briefly. “Besides, it’ll be worth it to see the smiles on the little one’s faces.”

“If we don’t lose it all.” Mako called out behind her.

Asami didn’t need another reminder on what they risked, but they all knew that they were desperate. Finding Iroh in that wreckage, just as desperate to survive as they were, was the best thing that happened to them in months, years even. He could change the tides for them in a way that nothing else could.

If only he would cooperate.

She nodded to Bolin who had taken over Korra’s guarding responsibilities, and he helped her get back inside her quarters with her full hands.

Iroh still stubbornly kneeled on the floor, though she offered him a comfortable seat.

She put the food and rum down on her little dining table and motioned for him to join her. “Come, sit with me and eat.” He looked at her skeptically. She rolled her eyes. “I’m not going to poison my meal ticket for the next couple of years.”

He gestured his head behind him, towards his tied hands. “And how am I supposed to eat like this?”

Asami smiled wide, feeling a thrill with her idea. “I’ll feed you of course.”

He frowned. “I can feed myself.”

“You can also attempt to firebend and escape even though we’re thousands of miles away from the nearest land.”

“I’m not daft, despite what you insinuate.”

“You must be, to reject being fed by a pretty lass.”

“You think too highly of yourself.” But she saw the way that he looked at her, the way that his eyes followed her lips, and knew that he lied.

“Do I?” Asami shrugged. “Suit yourself. Starve then.”

Asami began eating, mixing the dried meats with the even drier sea biscuits, before downing it with a significant amount of rum. Iroh’s stomach rumbled at the sight of her, and she saw him swallow. He spent another moment warring with himself, before he gingerly rose from the ground and sat across from her.

She gleamed at him.

He could be a good boy if he tried.

She tore a large piece of biscuit and fed it to him with her fingers. His mouth and tongue pressed softly against her fingers as he bit into the biscuit, and her eyes snapped to his. He froze after realizing what he had done, before coughing at the dryness of the biscuit.

She raised the bottle of rum to his lips, and he shook his head. “Don’t you have anything else?” he asked, throat scratching.

Asami shrugged. “We haven’t been able to make a supply stop in a long time.”

“You’re trying to take advantage of me.”

A sly corner of her mouth lifted. “I already am.”

Iroh contemplated for a moment and nodded. Asami raised the rum bottle, and he swallowed heavily, a trickle of rum escaping the corner of his lips. She pulled away and reached out to wipe the rum, eyes locked with his.

“Are you ready to negotiate now?” she asked.

He nodded as if in a haze.

[jjba-hell]

Fate and Fortune

Part 7 (holy shit)

A bit of a filler but I swear the next part is gonna get juicy- the way I write Jotaro is just painstakingly layered in non-verbal communication so it takes longer to describe.

Content Warnings: familial loss, it is the Strength card arc (harassment) some sea sickness but that’s about it

For the moots keeping up with my bs: @risottoneroo @fyre23

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6

“Vera?” Avdol’s voice rang on the other side of the metal door. “Are you alright?”

The concern was understandable- she wasn’t exactly used to sleeping in the top bench so when the ship took a particularly harsh hit she simply rolled off and with a loud thud landed on the floor. Too exhausted to move, she then simply pulled the blanket from the bottom bunk and tried to continue sleeping.

“I’m opening the door.” He warned before doing just that. The exasperated sigh that followed made her laugh to herself.

“What?”

“Vera, I was concerned you had hit your head.”

Once again she found herself taking his outstretched hand to get up, looking up at him with his hair half in and out of the signature buns atop his head made her laugh. “It’s an ungodly hour to still be working on your hair, don’t you think Avdol?”

“Oh and I suppose you’re willing to sacrifice your sleep for me?”

Vera dramatically held a hand over her heart like she was offended. “You think so ill of me, Avdol! After all that time of nightmares disturbing us both?”

She rose up from her blanket on the floor and with feign indifference fixed her pajama shirt. He only folded his hands over his chest, raising in an eyebrow at her in that same feigned annoyance.

“You can be so dramatic sometimes. Very well, Vera- could you please come help me tend to my hair?”

“Hmmmm, on one condition.”

“I’m listening.” He laughed.

“Just some fire from Magician for when I come back to bed, I’m cold.”

“That’s all?”

She nodded, strolling past him into the hallway, Avdol’s arms remaining crossed as he watched her wait all too happily outside in the hallway.

“Very well.”

Before Vera had as much control of her stand as she did, accidents were a common occurrence in Avdol’s house- Fortune being the cause but neither one of them noticing. One particular time, Avdol had burned just the tip of his finger on a stove top he believed had cooled down enough- using his usual hair care products in his hands annoyed him to no end. So she made him teach her.

Now she could do it with relative ease but the first time she did it, it was definitely a learning curve.

“I worry about you.” He had said as she was nearing the end of the last bun.

“Why? Because you find me on the floor with a blanket simply because I am too lazy to get back on the bed?”

“I’m more concerned for your nightmares. I haven’t seen you well rested ever since you came to Japan.”

She shrugged, knowing full well he couldn’t see. “You’re not wrong but there’s not much I can do.”

There was a stretch of silence and then, “What happens in your dreams? I’ve always been wary of asking you prying questions on the matter but perhaps speaking on it might help you resolve something deep within your soul.”

Vera’s hands shakily continued with Avdol’s strands, the lump in her throat growing bigger. “I dream of my mother, more than anything. I didn’t see my father’s face in death but my mother...”

With a shaky exhale she let the words pour out of her. “I never hear her, not like I hear my own screaming. I always just see her reaching out for me from the darkness- I’m always just a few inches short from reaching.”

She carefully wrapped the silk headdress over Avdol’s head, straightening out the little braid that ran down his back. “Embarrassingly, whenever I think of my father- the only face I see is yours.”

With a slight pat on the shoulder, like it would help him forget what she had said, Vera took her cigarettes from his bedside that she had brought and moved away towards the door.

Magician’s Red emerged from his user and offered a little flame in his hand. Fortune took the honor of taking it and with a smile she looked over at Avdol.

“You’re certainly an unexpected daughter, Vera... but I can’t think of a stronger person, even if I tried.”

“Thanks.”

And without adding any more sarcasm to ruin his good mood, Vera was off again back to her room, Fortune trailing behind with the little fire that seemed to warm her own hands in her pockets just as well.

The next morning she sat on the deck in the sun to get a better look at her bruised and splinter-filled leg.

For once it was Kakyoin using a metal tweezer to pull the splinters from her knee and shin- her head tipped over the backrest of the lounge chair she was seated on and a cigarette in her other hand.

“And you’re telling me it doesn’t hurt?” Noriaki laughed as he pulled a rather thick one out of the side of her shin.

“Of course it hurts but it feels more like an itch than stinging pain.” She answered, taking a drag and watching the smoke swirl up and dance with the subtle breeze around them.

“And you said it was from your fever?”

She threw her hands up, “Beats me- I just theorized that my nerve endings were burned half to death during the fever.”

Beside her, in her peripheral, she was watching as Jotaro’s eyes burned holes into Noriaki’s hand on her knee. He hadn’t ashed his cigarette in a while so she knew he was most certainly not casually smoking.

“And why is it that you refuse to heal yourself?”

Her attention returned to Noriaki. “Well for the most part, most of my injuries are from bad luck which is penance for manipulating fate. Also- I can’t revert my own luck. I can only move it forward under dire circumstances.”

Noriaki carefully disinfected the little holes literring her leg and had just finished wrapping up the ones still bleeding when a commotion below deck caught everyone’s attention.

Vera rose up and took hold of the first aid kit. She’d been trying to distract herself from the immense sea sickness that felt like a knife twisting in her gut but that last cigarette was the last straw.

On shaky legs she came to lean against the railing beside Jotaro, maybe a step too close for casual but she gazed up at him regardless. “I’m gonna take the first aid kit back- holler if you need me.”

He only gave a curt nod. She nodded right back, pushing off the railing and bumping into Jotaro in her disoriented state. He caught hold of her shoulder as she tried to regain her sense of direction.

“You look like shit.”

The comment probably shouldn’t have sparked so much anger in her but regardless she looked up at him and purposefully dropped the first aid box a hair width away from his foot.

“I’ll yack my breakfast out on you, Kujo. I’m well aware that I look like shit.”

With an angry shove away from him she pushed her way to the stair railing that led below deck. “Ms! Is everything alright?” One of the crewmate called from the bottom of the stairs and for once she was grateful to have someone help her down a flight of stairs.

She had just sat down in the captain’s quarters with a sigh when she looked down at the desk- a unopened letter with the Speedwagon Foundation seal lay on the top of a stack of paperwork. Her curiosity burned perhaps a bit brighter than it should have, so she let Fortune bring the letter to her hand- turning it around to see if it wasn’t open by any chance.

The letter was returned to the stack- after she realized it really wasn’t open- and then replaced by the piece of scribbled paper just below. At reading the name spelled in all capitals in the letter, her heart dropped to her already twisting stomach.

DIO.

“A false captain, huh?” Her eyes scanned the document further.

The sudden crash and tremors moving through the ship had her shoot up out of her seat and back towards the top of the deck. She was greeted my Mr Joestar’s wide eyes then slight relief. “Good, you’re not hurt- we’re evacuating the ship!” He announced to the crew.

“What? Why?”

“The captain was a fake- he’s gonna detonate the ship.”

She ran after him, trying to come up with a better solution than bobbing about on a dinghy. “Can’t we just find the bomb and I can delay the timer?”

Her duffel bag got put down right at her feet. “No time to look, ship’s too big.”

Internally, she was screaming as she picked up her duffel bag and ran to help grab the other guy’s bags as well before running up deck just in time to see them lowering the life boats.

It had been a few hours since they started aimlessly drifting in the water and Vera was losing her grip on whatever food had been pushing its way back up.

“I never understood when they said you become green when ill but I think I see it now.” Avdol joked from across the lifeboat from her.

The frantic laugh that left her lips had the whole crew watching as she pushed her head between her knees and think about solid ground and not the insistent bobbing of the waves around her.

“Funny joke, Avdol. Wanna lend me your robe?” She asked as she stuck a hand ahead of her.

Kakyoin’s hand rubbed soothing circles over her back, the subtle warmth on her back helping her ground herself. It was usually when Kakyoin as much as opened his mouth that Jotaro’s knee moved closer to her- the most subtle movement to bring himself closer to her. Vera couldn’t exactly complain- having his leg beside her helped her ground herself even more. But Noriaki, despite his flirtatious nature, was very careful not to move too close to her, even when she sat up, his shoulder rarely grazed hers- as if he was deliberately swaying himself away from touching her. Jotaro however, took his space freely- his arm was almost attached to hers and his knee only seemed to move away when he could tell Kakyoin was going to keep his distance.

So- in the name of gaining more grounding- she moved her other hand to extend across Noriaki’s lap. He seemed to get the message pretty quickly since he took hold of her extended hand, which was probably the ‘all clear’ signal for him since his knee moved against hers as well. Jotaro’s response was to lean his arms onto his lap- their arms touching once again.

“So which one of you are dating?”

Those words uttered by Anne was enough for Vera to end up feeling like the floor was ripped right under her. Both of the boys moved away from her, her head shooting up the overwhelmingly bright blue sky. Her eyes took a moment to adjust but there it was- another ship.

“We’re getting out of here!” She exclaimed.

Jinxed it.

Soon as she stepped on the stairs to the upper deck she stopped a moment. Jotaro was on the landing with her, watching her shakily bend at the knee to get closer to the water and rather undignifyingly let IT all out.

The strong hand on her shoulder came as a surprise though, as if holding her from falling forward into the water.

The handkerchief offered to her truly had her questioning if it was even Jotaro standing beside her. Did she miss something?

Without another word his hand left her shoulder and she stood up- now painfully unable to look him in the eye. He noticed just enough to give a huff of laughter before turning to walk up the stairs.

“Thanks.” She called back without looking back. Jotaro’s footsteps stopped for a moment.

“What did you say?” She could just hear the cockiness as he turned around on the step he was standing on.

Now this game she was not going to play. Vera spun around and walked up the stairs until she was one step below him, craning her neck to look up at him. “Thank you, Jotaro.” Her hand landed gently ontop of Jotaro’s hand holding the railing.

The smugness on his face slid off and was replaced by the same flat, stoic face with maybe a hint of surprise in the height of his eyebrows.

“Whatever.” He mumbled as he turned around and continued up the stairs.

On the upper deck she was asked to help Anne rinse off the saltwater in the bathrooms- she understood why but she was not into playing babysitter.

“You just had to jump onto a ship with a jean overall, huh kid?”

Vera ripped up one of her button ups along with the the last short in her duffel bag for Anne before standing guard at the bathroom.

Jotaro’s heavy step echoed through the hallway until he came into view and the first thing she asked was “Do you feel eyes on you?”

She’d say she started feeling as if she was being watched shortly after they saw that stupid orangutan sitting in its cage.

“I wouldn’t say eyes, but something does feel off.”

Vera leaned against the door frame, humming. They’d already had the suspicion that it could be a trap but the user would have made themselves known by now, wouldn’t they?

“Are you still sea sick?”

Her gaze trailed up at him, leaning across the hallway from her. He didn’t seem malicious in asking or even joking. The same stoic face looked back at her as he asked that.

“I feel a lot better but it’s kinda touch and go but thanks for asking.” It was probably the first time she didn’t answer with a bit that hint of sarcasm- instead answering him straight. The moment was gone the second a blood-curdling scream from the showers made her jump out of her skin and straight to where it was coming from.

Vera’s mind shut down at the sight of the orangutan holding her underwear, her duffel bag’s contents strewn over the floor of the bathroom and Anne cornered in a shower.

All discomfort she could ever have felt melted away in that moment and Fortune leapt forward faster than she’d ever seen her move. They had landed one good hit to the jaw, when the walls around her started to close in on her and her stand.

“What the hell?” She pushed against the metal boxing her in place with no success. “How the hell do you move like liquid in one moment and stay solid in the next.”

Out of desparation she brought Fortune back out and tried to push with her, the metal groaning in protest but not enough for her to get out.

When another scream on the other side sounded behind the metal walls separating them, desperation set in and she called out to Jotaro. “You boxed in?”

“Yeah. Any plans?”

“I’m gonna phase you in with her, you keep her safe- okay?”

She didn’t wait for an answer as she sent Fortune through the walls to where she’d guess Jotaro was and then dragging him through to the other side of the metal wall she heard the scream coming from. The walls started to cave in all around her, her arms starting to lose mobility the closer the walls crawled closer to her.

“To whoever’s stand this is, cop a good feel while you can motherfucker cause I’ll make sure you don’t have hands to feel with ever again!”

As she was about to attempt another struggle the walls seemed to slowly deflate like a balloon and on the other side was the busted up orangutan, Jotaro and Anne.

“Vera...” Anne started shakily as Jotaro almost marched with his back turned to them.

“It was the orangutan, the whole ship is his stand. We’ve gotta get off.”

She only listened with half an ear as she handed Anne the clothes she had originally intended for her to wear. Jotaro hastily grabbed her duffel bag and stuffed as much of her stuff in as he could before they booked it out of there- ending up right back where they started.

With Vera’s head between her knees trying to fight off the sea sickness.

[unofficialkfamtranscripts]

King Falls AM - Episode 9: Jack in the Box Jesus

View on Google Docs

Summary: September 1, 2015 - An alleged sighting of the Lord & Savior at a downtown fast food restaurant has the residents of King Falls ready for deliverance, meanwhile Sammy & Ben try to navigate the flood waters of this revelation.

[podcast intro music]

Mayor Grisham Ladies and gentlemen, I promise you that while it is a terrible inconvenience that our modern electronics are out— this is not the end of the world. It could be a refreshing change of pace! Instead of reading, on your tablet, go down to the King Falls library, and check out the real thing! Instead of texting your BFF, go enjoy some pancake puppies at Rose’s! and have a face-to-face chat. This isn’t as bad as it seems— and it could be a blessing in disguise.

[KFAM intro music]

Sammy Good morning guys and dolls, you’re listening to King Falls AM—

Ben —That’s 660 on the radio dial.

Sammy And this is day 13 of what has been dubbed the King Falls Electrolocaust.

Ben This has easily been the hardest two weeks of my professional career.

Sammy It has been tough, but Ben and I want to thank you, and everyone out there listening, for the continuing support of the show.

Ben We got another doozy of a show for you tonight, King Falls. During hour two, we’ll be interviewing Maria Chandler, manager of the King Falls Apple store, and speaking about the effects the shut down has had on business.

Sammy As well as fielding your calls and talking about whatever’s clever this evening.

Ben I miss computers, Sammy. I miss the schedule. Our automated systems, my alarm clock. I’ve went through three the legal pads in two weeks!

Sammy [sympathetic] I know, buddy.

Ben I would literally watch Channel 13 if given the chance.

Sammy Wow. That’s saying a lot.

Ben [softly] I need my life back.

Sammy King Falls, how are you taking the modern electronic shut down of 2015? Are you refreshed? Reliving the mid-90s? Or— are you falling apart like our dear Ben Arnold?

Ben I’d listen to boy bands, to have a working smartphone. I’d wear, puka shell necklaces and sell my pog collection,[1] if you give me five minutes with my email.

Sammy Look on the bright side, Ben. You’re spending all your free time down at the library, and I haven’t called you out on it!

Ben That’s calling me out on it.

Sammy Eh-Well- and you know it’s nice hearing the birds tweeting instead of @kingfallsam. I’m not saying I don’t miss it but, I’m enjoying this a little bit.

Ben ♫It’s tearing up my heart when I’m with yoouu♫[2]

Sammy The references are not gonna bring back your goods.

Ben [hurt] Dammit Sammy, let’s just take a call from our jury-rigged phone system.

[bg music being provided by Chet’s record player]

Sammy You’re live with Sammy and Ben.

Cynthia Yeeaah, I wanna talk about the outages.

Sammy Cynthia Higgenbaum, ladies and gents. How are you doing during this electronic crisis?

Cynthia [blissful] I feel the warm embrace of the chastity belt that’s been placed on society. I’m relieved, de-stressed, marvelous!

Ben *chuckling* Whoa, heh, that’s- that’s a heck of a change!

Cynthia [suddenly aggressive] What are you trying to say, Ben?

Sammy It’s just you’re usually- you’ve been a little… pessimistic in the past.

Cynthia [mostly calm again] Ohhh, I still have problems; I’m full up with issues. But right now, I don’t have to worry about what websites my husband is perusing, what brain-dead TV my kids are watching— I’m at peace! It’s just me and my harlequin novels. Plus, with Jesus back and all—

Ben [jokingly suggestive] 50 Shades of Cynthia

Cynthia [angrily] Don’t be filthy Ben Arnold! I Know Your Mother!

Sammy I-I’m sorry, Cynthia— did you just say that Jesus is back?

Cynthia [gossipy tone] Have you guys not heard the news?

Ben Is she talking about Jesus Jesus?

Cynthia There’s only one.

Sammy Wellll, I think Mexico would disagree, but please tell us why you think Jesus—

Cynthia [snappy] I don’t think Sammy, I know! [softer] Earlier this evening, he was spotted glowing and speaking in tongues at Jack in the Box.[3]

Ben The one off Main Street or Red Oak Avenue?

Cynthia Ew, nobody does to Red Oak.

Sammy [softly] Jack-in-the-Box-Jesus.

Cynthia Oh, Hell no! I will not participate in that blasphemy. You’re gonna get smited—

Sammy Oh, I- I mean- I wasn’t- I’m sorry, I’m not meaning to, uh—

Cynthia Tell it to Satan! In Hell, Sammy! [hangs up forcefully]

[dial tone]

Ben This is big.

Sammy [slightly reluctant] If you or someone you know has had a sighting of *clears throat, Ben laughs* Jack in the Box Jesus please give us a call. Uh, 424-279-3858

Ben You’re on King Falls AM.

Deputy Troy Now I know what you’re thinking: how could the second coming of God’s only son happen and ol’ Troy here didn’t clue you in.

Ben Not what I was thinking.

Sammy What do you know Troy?

Deputy Troy Well I got a suspicious persons call out at ol’ Yack[sic] in the Box around 9. So, I hit the lights and cruised over to see what the fuss was about. And lo and behold, back by the dumpster with a mess of people looking on— there he was.

Sammy Now, are you really telling us that— [still reluctant] you saw, or, you believe you saw the son of God and the King of Kings bangin around outside the Jack In The Box?

Deputy Troy Well, he was a man. Somebody’s son, no doubt. Bearded. Good lookin’, if-if you’re into that sort of thing. He had a robe on—

Ben [cutting in]We can solve this right now. Was he white or was he black?

Deputy Troy He was more of a greenish color. Like a glow really.

Sammy The man had an aura around him.

Deputy Troy It was shinier than a damn Fukushima foxhound, fellas. Like, I felt a need to put on the old aviators, but I- I didn’t want to be cliché.

Sammy Alright, Troy. So, work with us here; you’re in the back of the Jack in the Box, there’s a uh, a Jesus-type guy—

Deputy Troy Just-a-ramblin’ on.

Ben Speaking in— tongues?

Deputy Troy Speaking in somethin. The last time I heard gibberish like that was comin’ from the back of my Chevy with Shell Snyder’s daughter.

Sammy So what happened next?

Deputy Troy Well a group of looky-loos had descended, as I said, and since it was only me, there was no perimeter set up yet. So I start ta approach this glowing Christ and somebody— Roy Higgins if you gotta know/— hollered out “It’s Jesus!” and the whole parking lot just went bonkers!

Ben Well, di-did you speak to the guy?

Deputy Troy Damn skippy. I told Roy that this was official police biz. And he shouldn’t be squawling around like a little baby.

Ben No, Jack in the Box Jesus.

Deputy Troy Oh, well no. I- I turned around and he was gone. Split right off into the woods, I suspect.

Sammy Did you follow him?

Deputy Troy Sammy. So you’re tellin me that you’d follow a 6-foot-tall and glowing perp into the woods??

Sammy [muttered] Point taken.

Ben So any other sightings?

Deputy Troy Well, not as of yet. But there were so many people they could’a had a revival in that parkin’ lot. So I’m guessin’ that’s how word spread so quickly. And without internet, too? That’s pretty damn impressive.

Sammy Is there an APB out or anything?

Deputy Troy For what, dilly-dallying around with a jumbo jack? He wasn’t doin nothin bad. Just acting a fool— Lord forgive me— where he shouldn’t’a been.

Ben And glowing.

Deputy Troy That’s right.

Sammy Well, please let us know if get any more info on this, Troy. We’d appreciate it.

Deputy Troy You bet. I’ll be sure to keep you boys and the listenin’ public informed. But if you should happen to stumble upon Jesus? Do not approach, bother or pester. You just call up Ol’ Deputy Troy.

[hangs up]

Ben …or your local church. [dial tone]

Sammy Deputy Troy, ladies and gents. Now we’re just going to take a quick break and hear from one of our new sponsors: Carl’s Candy!

Ben Yeah I don- I don’t think we should play this

Sammy What? Ads pay the bills remember?

Ben Folks, as a workaround with all the tech issues, uh, I went out and recorded a few spots of some of our sponsors- uh, new and old. Emphasis on Old, after this one.

Sammy Okay, so the audio is bad.

Ben *sucks in breath* You could say that.

Sammy This company’s paid up! They’re scheduled in one of your many notebooks. Let’s do this. We’ll be right back folks.

[slow, creepy xylophone music]

Carl [voice is soft and creepy, like you expect from a guy who offers kids candy from the back of a van] Do you know why they call it a blow pop? I sure do. And if you come on down to Creepy Carl’s Candy, I’ll fill ya up! I mean in. [whispering] It’ll be our little secret.- A sweet tooth is a terrible thing to waste. Come find a new sugar daddy to butter your fingers at Creepy Carl’s! Come in and grab a sack of Carl’s Boston baked beans while you’re at it. Oops, one fell in my pocket. Free if you can find it! *Ben groaning “oh no”* Every child’s welcome at Creepy Carl’s, big mouths, small mouths, white mouths and brown mouths. We’re equal opportunity! And just cause they shut down the ol’ brick and mortar doe’n’t mean you can’t buy it from my van. Be sure to ask your parents’ permission first, kids. Creepy Carl’s Candy, where the suckers don’t suck themselves. [Police sirens]

Deputy Troy [through megaphone] Carl, turn off your ignition. You are too close to the school zone.

Carl I gotta go! Catch ya later [tires squealing]

Ben [desperate, in bg] The mic!

[sirens fade out]

Sammy … Never again.

Ben I tried to tell you.

Sammy I know. Let’s never speak about this.

Ben [whispering] I need a shower.

Sammy *sigh* …Moving forward, we were just talking about a sighting that happened a few hours ago around the 9 o’clock hour, just off Main Street. It seems quite a few people believe that we may be experiencing a religious phenomenon. Perhaps the second coming of–

Ben [slightly gruff impression] “Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years!”[4]

Sammy *chuckles* Right, let’s go to the phone lines.

Ben [happily] That was good though right?

Sammy It was good. Good evening, you’re live on King Falls AM.

Reverend Hawthorne Ask and ye shall receive! King Falls-uh. It is the gooD Reverend Xavier “Right. With. Gaawwd-uh” Hawthorne.

Ben Reverend Hawthorne? Are you back in town?

Reverend Hawthorne [speaking over Ben] The One and Only, and we are turnin’ the wagons arounD as we speaK-uh. And we’re headin’ back to my flocK-uh. How’re y’all feelin’ tonighT, King Falls- I said How are you, Feelin’!

Sammy [softly] We’re feeling alright.

Reverend Hawthorne Praise GoD-uh! Hallelujah! Now a little birdie, uh-just chirp’n on my shoulder, told me there was a SighTing. A Vision. Dare I say it, eyeballs were laid on our Lord and Saviour at a burger joint in our fair city.

Sammy Yeah, about 9 o’clock here.

Reverend Hawthorne Could it Be-uh! that our 5-week-revival worked. Could it Be-uh! that our prayers have been brought forth the lamb of God-uh. Can I get an amen!

Ben Reverend Hawthorne we—

Reverend Hawthorne Amen! This miracle-uh, this sight from our God-uh, perched on a Mountain of Sanctity, says that he is ready to lead-uh, his most Highly Favored, Congregation bacK to the promised land. Gimme some organ, Deacon Reggie [organ music begins playing in bg]

Sammy [aside] Do you think Reggie has to wheel that thing around just in case?

Ben This is getting good.

Reverend Hawthorne Play it dirty, brother. We are going Home-uh. Take us back to Calvary, take us BACK-uh! … Samuel, Benjamin may I ask you gentlemen if you have a relationship-uh with the Author of the E-ternal Sal-vation; [organ goes silent] [softly] are ya saved?

Sammy I’m—

Reverend Hawthorne Then let me tell y’all, [organ starts again] because if you aren’t-uh, I’m coming back to town. One weekend only, the Xavier “Right with GoD-uh” Hawthorne Experience will be wheelin’ bacK into King Falls Fairgrounds this very night-uh. We are hoping to get One- On- One with the Risen Christ and start preparin’ for Kingdom Come. But just like old Xavier, you gotta come on down-uh so we can get you TurnT uP With GoD-uh. [click, dial tone]

Sammy Xavier? Hello?

Ben He’s, gone. Sammy.

Sammy Well, you heard it here first folks. Xavier Hawthorn’s Travelling Roadshow is coming back to town. Will Jack in the Box Jesus make his stage debut?

Ben [muttering] Tch- Jesus.

Sammy Literally.

Ben Do you think we could get an interview? Would it be Mr. Christ? Or-

Sammy Something tells me that there is something more to the story than what we’ve heard so far, Ben.

Ben Tsk. I get that, but this is King Falls, Sammy.

Sammy What a perfect place to make a return: a rinky-dink town with no internet.

Ben Line- [muttered] dammit, there’s only one line. Uh, you’re on with Sammy and Ben.

Archie Good evenin’ fellas!

[small dogs barking in bg]

Sammy Is thi-

Archie It’s Archie Simmons!

Ben He-ey Archie, how’s Princess Von Barktooth?

Archie Well, I do have news concernin’ the princess, and I just want to possibly recant some info from our previous call a few weeks back.

Sammy About the werewolves?

Archie Correct.

Sammy Wow. I mean, you sounded pretty convinced that you saw a werewolf.

Archie And now I’m saying that maybe I was misinformed.

Sammy I think you should probably tell Troy and the Sheriff’s Office, Archie.

Archie *giggles* You silly Sally, Troy’s on his way over now

Ben Why the change of heart, Archie?

Archie Well, new information has come to light boys, I mean with the Divine One making his triumphant, and let’s be honest, dramatic return to King Falls.

Sammy You’re talking about the glowing man at the Jack in the Box?

Archie [softly] Let’s be real here, it’s the J-Man, of course a heavenly carpenter would pick King Falls. So many projects to keep busy with.

Sammy [dryly] Uh-huh.

Archie Plus, with the princess and this new information, we have to believe this.

Ben You keep saying that, what’s going on with the princess Archie?

Archie She’s in a delicate condition.

Sammy Oh, of course. I mean she’s been through a lot.

Archie *giggles* No Sammy, I mean she’s with child. Ch-children. Puppies? There’s a bun in my $2400 oven boys!

Sammy Wait. She’s pregnant? From the werewolf attack?!

Archie [softly again] Well, that’s the thing. While I believed in my heart of hearts that the hillbilly beast from the trailer park had gotten to the princess, I think…

Ben What. What do you think Archie?

Archie I mean it was dark, I know it was a full moon but I was scared and recently awakened, sleep in my eyes etc. and so on.

Sammy You don’t think it was the werewolves.

Archie I’m thinking with this new evidence and the fact that I saw a long-haired, bearded man in a Biblical Act— Yeah I-I- I think- there’s a chance it could have been [whispering] the man upstairs.

Ben [stern] Upstairs from whom?

Archie Mankind! Come on Ben, get with the picture!

Sammy He’s saying that because there’s been a holy sighting tonight- which we should all be a little bit doubtful of- then maybe it wasn’t the werewolves, but the Alpha and the Omega.

Ben No! NO WA- That’s too much, Archie. You saw the werewolf. He looked you in the eye and howled at the moon.

Archie I don’t know what kind of weird things Jesus is into.

Ben No way. This is ludicrous.

Archie You just wait and see Ben! The princess may have lost her Westminster dreams, but it was all part of God’s plan.

Ben We’ve got to go Archie *laughs* you’re crossing a line that we cannot cross at King Falls AM.

Archie Judge Not, lest ye be judged boys. Kardashians[sic] 3:16 or a Psalm or something. I think Troy’s coming around the bend anyways boys, laters!

[click, dial tone]

Sammy You know? When I walk in the door every night I say to myself, “Nothing’s gonna surprise me tonight” And more times than not, I am just Dead Wrong.

Ben Let’s give the phone a rest for a moment, Sammy, the record player is just begging to be used.

Sammy *chuckles* Not a bad idea Ben.

[phone pings]

Ben What? *gasps* My phone! [several pings] OHH it’s back baby!

Sammy Me too! What’s going on?

[pinging continues]

Ben What’s up! Oh my God, I could literally kiss the apparition of Steve Jobs.

Sammy Hey, I’ve got a text here, Unknown Number.

Ben Okay, what does it say?

Sammy “I- I know why this happened. I know how to stop it. We need to talk“

Ben What?

Sammy No, that’s what the text said.

Ben You don’t think this has anything to do with… Thank You, Jesus.

[KFAM outro]

[CREDITS]

References:

[1] Pogs - Pogs, generically called milk caps, is a game that was popular among children during the early-mid 1990s. The name pog originates from POG, a brand of juice made from passionfruit, orange, and guava; the use of POG bottle caps to play the game preceded the game's commercialization.

[2] “It’s tearin’ up my heart when I’m with you” - Lyrics to the song “Tearin’ Up My Heart” by NSYNC, an American boy band from the mid-90s

[3] Jack in the Box - American fast food chain, primarily along the west coast and southern states.

[4] “Don’t call it a comeback, I’ve been here for years” - lyrics to the song “Mama Said Don’t Knock You Out” by LL COOL J (also came out in the 90s)

[mirkwoodshewolf]

Time travel rescue pt.2; 11th Doctor x teen reader ft. Queen

*Author’s note*

Okay ya’ll so I hope you enjoyed the first part, now we get to pt.2 where Freddie and Roger take up majority of this chapter, so you get to see the craziness that I hoped I managed to get in based off of stories of their friendship and videos of them together so I hope I did this wonderful soulmate shipping justice. However fair warning that P**l Pr**ter makes his appearance so prepare your stomachs.

Taglist:

@psychosupernatural

@plethora-of-things

@ixchel-9275

@waddles03

@platawnic

@bensrhapsody

@queendeakyy

@kairosfreddie​

@geek-and-proud​

____________________________________________________

The next morning I woke up and found myself in a hotel room of sorts.  At first I didn’t know what happened, it was all such a rush last night I—I had this dream that I had gone back to 1975 and actually met my favorite band, and that Roger actually allowed me to sleep in his room.

“Morning (y/n).” I heard that familiar soft voice call out from the kitchen.  Oh god it wasn’t a dream. I am actually in 1975 and I really did—or well currently meeting the band and Roger did give me his room for the night.  I looked up and said.

“Morning Roger.”

“How’d you sleep last night? The clothes work okay for you?” he asked.

“Yeah they—they worked out fine.”

“You hungry? I’m making eggs and cutting up some bread and bacon, I hope that’s alright.”

“That’s fine. I’m—actually quite hungry.”

“Well come on over to the kitchen and I’ll put an extra plate.” I got out of the bed and followed him to the kitchen.  I sat down at the kitchen island bar and he said again, “I don’t know how you like your eggs, so I made them scrambled which is what I prefer. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Well then you’re lucky that scrambled eggs is my favorite. Besides sunny side up makes me yack.”

“I know right, why do people claim that’s the best way to make eggs?” he exclaimed.  Wow so Roger Taylor and I have the same view on how eggs should be prepared, that’s amazing.  He handed me my plate and he asked. “Shall I prepare a cuppa?”

“I wouldn’t mind a cuppa.”

“Coming right up.” He then prepared me my drink while he had some coffee.  As the two of us sat down around the island and ate he asked me. “How are the wounds?”

“Doesn’t hurt as much as it did last night. You and your friends really know how to be doctors.”

“Well even though Brian and I would’ve been different doctors, I don’t think we did too bad. But I will need to change out the bandages and put some more antiseptic cream on it. Just to be on the safe side.”

“Whatever you think is best Roger.”

After breakfast, he put away the dishes and cleaned up the kitchen and that’s when he grabbed the first aid kit under the sink and guided me over to the couch.

“Alright, let’s see how this looks.” He then took a pair of scissors and slightly snipped an area of the bandage before slowly unwrapping it allowing my arm to breathe.  Once the bandages were off, I could see the gnarly scars that I now bore on my arm. Long and thin but thankfully not so deep that I need stitches. “Well it seems to be closing up quite nicely. With how bad they were yesterday, I was beginning to think they wouldn’t. At least not in this speed.”

“Guess I just got enhanced healing powers or something.” I joked. He smiled and rubbed some more cream on my scars before taking another roll of bandages and wrapping it around my arm.  Just as he was about to finish, the door suddenly opened and there stood Freddie all dolled up and ready to head out.

“Let’s go my darlings it’s shopping time!”

“In a second Fred, I’m still wrapping up her arm.” Roger told him as he went back to wrapping my forearm delicately. Freddie came over and sat on the other side of me and he asked me.

“Did you sleep okay dear?”

“Yeah, like a baby actually.”

“Good. That’s just what you needed after what happened to you. But are you sure you don’t want to make a police report about this?” he said as he stroked his fingers through my hair.  Aww Freddie god bless you, why were you taken away from us so soon? We really could’ve used you in today’s society.

“I’m sure Fred. Besides I doubt they’d believe me. I didn’t even see their faces. They wore black masks over their faces so I couldn’t even see their faces.”

“Alright darling. Well once blondie’s done here, I know just the thing to help boost your spirits up. A nice, well deserved shopping day.”

“There, I’m done.”

“Marvelous my darlings, let’s go!” Freddie stood up gracefully and raised his hands over his head and clapped them once.

“Hold on you rotter, we still need to get dressed. I’d rather not go out in my pajamas in the bloody cold.” Roger guided me towards the bedroom once more and I said to him.

“Uhh Rog. What am I gonna wear?”

“Just relax love, I’m sure I got something.” He went through his closet and pulled out a pair of denim jeans as well as a queen hoodie that looked like he had taken from Deacy.  He also took out a fur coat and said. “Will this do?”

“Yeah. Again I really appreciate you sharing your clothes with me.”

“Like I said last night, it’s no trouble. When Queen was first starting off, we barely had enough money to buy new clothes so we pretty much shared clothes with each other. I think we each had a chance at wearing one shirt for different photoshoots on separate occasions.”

“Wow I—I never knew that.” Liar. Of course I knew that, I’ve seen the pictures of the guys wearing the same shirts on tumblr that someone posted.  Once again I got changed in the loo and once I got out, Roger went inside and proceeded to do his health and beauty stuff.

While he brushed his teeth and brushing through his long blonde hair, I couldn’t help but stare at him.  Now I’ll admit, I did fall for the handsome 1970’s Roger Taylor (in fact 70’s and 80’s Roger I had a crush on) but then my crush slowly faded away and turned to something else, it’s like I—kinda pictured a sorta brother-sister relationship.

“Could you take any longer getting ready Rog? I swear you take longer than me!” Freddie complained as he leaned up against the bedroom door.

“It’s called a miracle Fred. And envy is an ugly thing on you.” Roger teased to which Freddie flipped him the bird.  God they really were soulmates, I can’t imagine just how hurt Roger was finding out Fred died when he was just about to see him in a matter of minutes.

“Are we ready to go yet?” Freddie whined as Roger fluffed his hair out and shook his wild mess of hair like a lion shaking his mane and said.

“Alright you impatient bugger. Let’s go (y/n).” I was then put in between them and we left Roger’s room.

As we drove through downtown London, we soon came across a shop that closed down before my time but it was starting grounds for both Roger and Freddie, Kensington Market.

“Hope you don’t mind coming here love. We would take you to Biba but that’s all the way on East London and we’re scheduled for a rehearsal by noon.” Roger said.

“I don’t mind. I’ve—heard some good things about this place.”

“You know Rog and I once had a stall in this joint together before I officially joined the band.”

“Really? What did you guys sell?”

“Oh any old clothes that we could find. Though I’ll never forget that jacket you and Brian tried to sell. That was my favorite jacket.”

“Well then you shouldn’t have had it on the rack then, should you?” Roger mocked as he shut the engine off after finding a parking space. “Plus it’ll be cheap and not as crowded as the stores are right now. Last minute Christmas shoppers and all.”

“Agreed.” We all got out and quickly walked inside the market.  And inside I saw anything and everything.  From antiques, to bridal wear, clothes, furniture, everything small and large you could imagine. “Whoa.”

“I know it’s a little intimidating at first but no worries lovie, you’ll get used to it.” Roger said as he wrapped an arm around me.

“Alright my darlings, let’s head down memory lane. To the clothing stall!” Freddie then dragged us down the store almost towards the end of the building where a clothing stall was all set up.  Behind the counter there was a young black woman with an afro, she wore a Christmas sweater and jeans and was sucking on a lollipop.  “Well I’ll be damned. Billie. Billie Tyler?” she looked up and grinned.

“Oh shit no. Freddie Mercury and Roger Taylor! Never did I think I’d see you two bastards here again.” She grinned.

“So you’re working our stall now?” Roger asked.

“Yeah. Ever since you two boys got all rich and famous, I went ahead and took over the stall.”

“Well hate to burst your bubble but we’re still not rich and famous.” Said Roger.

“What? After all the big success you guys did at the Rainbow last year?”

“That’s the thing. We don’t get paid on our tours. In fact just recently we left our first company because they screwed up our payments. Our manager didn’t even want to give any money so that Deacy could marry Veronica.”

“What?! Those stuck up bastards! I hope Deacy got the wedding he deserved though.”

“It was a small court ceremony but it was still sweet. Although had we had the money, I would’ve planned the perfect wedding for them.” Said Freddie.

“Oh please Fred, you’d invite half of London along with all crazy people you invite to the after parties.” Said Roger.

“So who’s this? Little groupie?” she asked gesturing towards me.

“No. This is (y/n).” Roger said introducing me. “(Y/n), this is Billie Tyler. When Fred and I worked here, she worked at the boutique just across from us. We’d hang out and have lunch on our breaks, she was basically our first fan.”

“Nice to meet you Billie.” I said reaching out a hand to her.  She shook my hand immediately and she said.

“Nice to meet you too (y/n). How’d you come across these two lugs?”

“Poor dear got jumped last night, thankfully Rog was around to help her out.” Said Fred as he placed a hand to my shoulder.

“Oh my god—are you okay?”

“Yeah. Just a really bad scratch along my forearm but nothing too bad.”

“Well I would’ve honestly preferred to run into Bri had I been jumped but I’m glad you had Roger to help you out.” Roger looked at her crossly and she playfully stuck her tongue out at him. “So what brings you three here to Kensington market?”

“Well darling, we were hoping to get (y/n) some clothes. She—kinda came with just one set of clothes and has been sharing Roger’s style since last night. So we’re hoping you might have something that just screams her.”

“I think I might have some stuff. Come with me (y/n) and we can get you out of those boy clothes and into some stylish clothes I have.” She took my uninjured arm and pulled me into the stall and took me towards the changing room she had installed in the back room.

It was then I was given the full 1970’s fashion show.  Both Billie and Freddie practically took me and started treating me like a doll, forcing me to try on clothes, hats, coats, bell bottom jeans, the whole nine yards.

“And I’m telling you it’s flea-bitten Fred. I wouldn’t even dream of someone wearing that!” exclaimed Billie dramatically.

“Oh don’t be so dramatic darling, I think (y/n) would look cute in this.” He said holding up a ragged old fur coat that looked like it hadn’t seen the light of day in years.

“You guys do realize she’s a person. Not a doll, let her speak for herself once in a while.” Roger said.  He turned towards me and mouthed out, ‘I’m so sorry.’ I waved it off.

“Alright then, why don’t we ask (y/n) what she’d like?”

“Yes let’s. (Y/n) darling please tell Billie and that devil mind of hers that you’d want this coat over the decade’s old 60’s coat. This just screams you.”

“Ah, ah, ah! No antagonizing the fashion star here Mercury.” Billie warned him.

“Actually guys, something did catch my eye earlier.” I then hopped off the podium and went over to a large brown jacket that had fur ends on both the sleeves and along where the front part meets with the zipper.  

It had an elegant pattern on it, kinda reminded me of old Norwegian drawings that I once saw back in 1031 when the Doctor and I were helping out against the threat the invading reindeer people (I forgot their real names, plus it was in Norwegian tongue so I just called them the reindeer people).

But anyways, I looked cute and it wouldn’t make me stand out as much.  I picked out a cute sweater, a scarf that almost kinda resembled what the Doctor could’ve worn, and one of the many pairs of bellbottom jeans I was given.

“How’s this?”

“Oh my darling, it’s like looking at a Renaissance painting. You are—phenomenal.” Freddie praised.

“But something’s missing.” Billie said.  She then went over to the hats and picked out dark grey flat cap.  She handed me the hat and I placed it on top of my head. “There. Now you’re an aesthetic.”

And that was that.  I got a few sweaters, a couple of turtlenecks, bell bottomed jeans, some boots similar to what Deacy always wore throughout the 1970’s, and any brown furred or faux fur coat that Billie had.  When everything was rung up, Roger asked.

“Okay how much do we owe you Billie?”

“For you guys it’s on the house.”

“Oh no, no, no darling we’ve got some money to spend now since we left the bastard at Trident and switched to EMI. Now how much?”

“I’m feeling generous today. Plus I hadn’t done a fashion show like that in years. Most customers just demand my stuff and that’s it. So this time it’s on me. But if you want a payment, come by next week after the New Year.” Freddie and Roger looked to each other and that’s when Freddie said.

“Throw in you coming to my New Year’s Eve party and you’ve got a deal darling.”

“It’s a deal Freddie.” They leaned in and kissed each other’s cheeks sealing the deal. “Good luck with the concert guys, I’ll be watching it from home. And it was nice meeting you (y/n).”

“Nice meeting you too Billie, and thank you for the clothes.”

“No problem. Cheers guys. And Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas Billie!” Rog and Fred proclaimed as we walked out of Kensington market.

After that, we headed down to the nearest grocery store for the simple items that I needed like toothbrush, toothpaste, hairbrush, socks, gloves, and Roger passed by some sunglasses and he had me try them on to which I said I looked ridiculous but to him, he thought I looked cute (which I won’t deny made me blush a little).

Once all the shopping was done, we headed back to the hotel and Roger helped me unpack my stuff.  As he was helping me put some of my clothes into his closet he asked me.

“Now (y/n), about that friend of yours. What exactly does he look like?” At that point I thanked god that the Doctor at least appeared human, because if he looked like anything else how do you explain that to your hero?

“Well, he’s got short brown hair, he’s pretty tall and lean. Kinda like Brian but not exactly the same height. Oh and he wears a bowtie.”

“What? Seriously?”

“Yeah he says they’re cool. But hopefully that helps. Oh and he basically wears a suit. All the time.”

“Okay what is he a doctor or something?”

“Something like that.”

“Do you recall where you think he might’ve ran off to?”

“That I—I don’t know. I guess I must’ve been knocked just before he ran. God I—I hope I can find him.”

“Hey, we will. I’ll turn all of London upside down if I have too to help you.” Roger said assuringly as he placed a hand on my shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze.  I looked up at him and softly smiled.

“Thank you Roger. I—literally don’t know what I would’ve done had I not ran into you.”

“Think nothing of it love. I’m glad we met last night.” He playfully ruffled my hair making me exclaim while he grinned and softly laughed.  It was then there was a knock at the door.

“Roger! Roger open the door now!” Oh no it couldn’t be. But as I saw Roger roll his eyes and make a disgusted face as he hauled himself towards the door.  I peeked over from the bedroom to see him open the door to reveal the man I feared I would come in contact with.

Paul Prenter.

“What do you want Prenter?”

“You were supposed to be at the Odeon theater 2 hours ago! Where the bloody hell have you been?!” God just hearing his Irish accent made me feel so dirty.  The bastard who became a bad influence on Freddie, and the greedy snake who would go on to sell off Freddie’s AIDS story for like 30,000 pounds was now standing right before my eyes.

“Unlike you Prenter, I know how to have fun.”

“Well your fun has costed the band two hours of rehearsal. Reid is livid right now!” It was then he somehow saw me and that’s when he barged in and said. “Is this the reason you’ve delayed the rehearsal? For some teenage hussy!?”

“Excuse me!?”

“You have no right to be in here. In fact I can have you arrested and charged with stalking.” Paul threatened.  That’s when Roger stepped in between him and I.

“You even think about that and I’ll have you thrown out the bloody window faster than you can blink!” he snarled protectively.

“You’ve been saying that for years Roger and yet you’ve never done it. You don’t got the nerve.” Bragged Paul.

“Do I?” it was then I watched as Roger dragged Paul towards the back door of the small balcony and forcefully pinned Paul’s head to the stone railings. “Wanna rethink that statement?”

“Okay! Okay! Okay just let me go!” Paul wept.

“Then get the hell out of my room and don’t even dare think about calling the police. Or else there’ll be a new decoration all along the pavement of the Marriot.” He picked Paul back up and forced him out of the room before slamming the door and locked it tight.

Holy shit! I wish that was shown in the movie. Damn Roger Taylor is a lion.

“I am so sorry about him. Paul can be a right up arsehole. I’ve been trying to convince Fred to fire him but somehow he still keeps him around.”

“It’s okay Rog. I’ve—been called worse than hussy.” It’s true.  When you’re involved with a gang, you are called way worse things, especially if you’re a girl.  I’ve been called the B word mostly, the P word and even the C word, all before I was 15.

“Who has called you that? What did they say?”

“Just some school punks back in primary school. You know how little boys are.”

“Even so, my mum taught me to never be rude to girls. Men who do such things like that aren’t even worth living. Nor should they even deserve to call themselves men.” As Roger said that, I noticed this harsh, distant look in his eyes.

Was he—I mean I remember reading a story of how he was a victim of domestic abuse.  There’ve been some theories that it was probably his dad since he was never really spoke much by Roger.  So—could that really be true?

“Rog? You—okay?” I said after he didn’t speak for what felt like 2 minutes.  He snapped out of his daze and said.

“Yeah. Yeah I’m fine. Well come on let’s head out and see if we can’t find that friend of yours.”

“Actually. Since I already got you and Fred into more trouble than I’d like, you should go to the rehearsals. I can search for him on my own.”

“Are you sure? I—wouldn’t want you to get hurt again. I have no problem coming with you.”

“Really Rog. It’ll be daylight, more witnesses so I doubt anyone’s gonna jump me. Besides I’ll bet Deacy and Brian are probably pissed at you and Fred for skipping out. Go, rehearse. I’ll meet you guys at around lunch time? Maybe even see you rehearse the concert?”

“I’d like that. And I’m sure Fred would too. If anything happens, here’s the number for the theater as well as my roadie/assistant Crystal.” He took a piece of paper from a notepad and quickly put down a couple of numbers before handing it over to me.

“Thank you.” I said as I took the notepad paper.

“Stay safe love.” And my heart literally stopped when I actually felt Roger kiss my cheek before grabbing his drumsticks and headed out the door.

Oh my god, I can’t believe I just got a kiss on the cheek from my idol.  I’ll admit internally I’m screaming my head off and melting right on the spot.  I placed my hand over the cheek he kissed and I just felt this warm, gooey feeling inside.

“Oh nana would not believe this.” I then got myself ready and headed on out of the hotel and proceeded to walk around the London streets.

As I saw Christmas decorations and lights on almost every corner, I kept muttering to myself.

“Oh Doctor where are you?” I listened carefully for any wheezing and groaning sounds, an eye for a blue police box, or a tall, lean man wearing a purple suit and bowtie.  But after about 2 hours walking along the streets I saw no one, not even the usual suspicious character that usually follows you once you break the time stream.

I sighed heavily and decided to just head over to the Hammersmith Odeon, because I swear if I stay out here any longer, I’m gonna freeze my organs off.  So I headed eastward towards the theater to meet with Roger and the rest of Queen and finally see my favorite band perform right before my eyes.

[hunterguyveriv]

Kacxa Week 2019: Bonus - No Win Scenario

This is something I wanted to submit on the eve (10-06) of Kacxa-Week. Something I different than the serious stories I typically write. I know I haven’t posted for Day 2, 4, and 5 but between work and a writer's block (for day 2) I just haven’t had time to do so. But with a day off tomorrow, I plan to slog my way through the missed prompts.

But enough yacking,  hope you enjoy the piece I typed up for essentially Day-0

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Keep Reading~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Trailer Announcer: They have faced insurmountable odds together...

Flash of Keith helping Galra out of the cockpit. Flash of them fighting together against jellyfish-like spores. Flash of her cocking her weapon at him before leaving.

Trailer Announcer: They crossed paths and even fought one other multiple times...

Flash to her shooting Voltron in the back in a surprise attack. Another flash shows them fighting each other face to face. Flash to Acxa firing a weapon out of a General's hands during the Kral’ Zera. Flash to their fur-ball, where he point-blank blasts her Sincline-Ship before he gets distracted and almost gets shot in the back.

Trailer Announcer: They have fought for each other...

Flash to Acxa and Keith fighting Ezor and Zethrid. Another flash shows you Zethrid holding a weapon to Keith’s head and a scared Acxa.

Trailer Announcer: But now in a universe where Voltron no longer exists…

Flash to the Lions going on auto-pilot and taking off with the dumbfounded Paladins just watching.

Trailer announcer: These two star-crossed love-birds face their most daunting challenge yet…

Both Keith and Acxa arrive at home from an extended mission. The door slowly opens, revealing a trashed house. They slowly walk in, seeing a frightened Kosmo covered Surigulan Pink Jelly sticking to his fur with a pathetic “mommy… daddy… SAVE ME” look on his face. Toys and two different types of Earth cereals were everywhere.

Trailer Announcer: Parenthood…

They walk in further and see their 3-year-old fraternal twins dressed as little Marmora members dueling it out with blade weapons. Both Griffin and Lance are clinging o each other, pure looks of terror on their faces. <picture them cowering with big white anime frightened eyes and screaming mouth>. They obviously lost control of the situation. Nadia hanging upside down by rope-trap anchored to the upstairs railing with an “Oh, don’t mind me. I’ll just hang here.”

They look at Pidge scrubbing, trying to wash something which both Keith and Acxa had hoped better be Kovlarian-juice out while sobbing hysterically. They drop their bags in utter shock as the fire alarm starts blaring its mournful call.

Trailer Announcer: Will these warriors save their comrades and reestablish order in their home…

The twins see Keith and Acxa are home and stop fighting and run over to them.  One throws her blade that flies into the wall between Lance and Griffin, making them shriek in terror. Pidge is seen grabbing a flame thrower frantically saying, "if it can't be clean, cleanse it with fire" before laughing maniacally.

Trailer Announcer: Or will even they fall to the next generation. Stay tuned for the premiere of Season 11 of Voltron: Legendary Defender. Coming to you this Spring!

In the background, you hear Acxa yelling for Keith that she needs assistance with their son. You also hear Keith sternly saying, "No! Don't pour that on the wolf" or " No Swordplay inside!"

Nadia appears briefly, still hanging upside down from the railing. The head tops of an exhausted Keith and Acxa could be seen lounging on their love seat. Falling fast asleep, unable to hear Nadia say, "Um... a little help, please... Someone."

[e1e4n0r5]

A drop of tea to spill, just cos I need to put this into words

Seasons greetings, everyone. Even though I know I'm a bit late. For anyone who may be wondering why there was nothing on my blog to do with the holidays, or wondering why I haven't posted any original content in a good, long while, it's because 2019 has been a very shit year for me.

About this time last year (Nov 2018, to be precise) I started getting a lot of heartburn, acid, and indigestion, all coupled with the wonderful feeling in the top of my stomach and back of my throat that I constantly needed to yack. All the time. All day. Every day. With no relief.

So I go to the doctor and he diagnoses me with GORD, the fancy medical term for persistent acid reflux. He prescribes me some pills to help reduce my acid, and they do actually work...for a while.

Cut to Feb 2019 and I go back to the doctor (A totally different doctor sees me because that's just how my doctors surgery works) to discuss my prescription, because those pills I got in Nov are starting to give me side effects. Great. I talk with this 2nd doctor, who was lovely but seems quite perturbed that no investigation has been done into the cause of my reflux. After all, I am an otherwise perfectly healthy 26 (25 at the time) year old woman - why was I getting reflux out of nowhere???

He refers me for a breath test, which come back negative (Oh poop, that would have solved all my problems if it had been positive but hey-ho) Meanwhile I'm still taking these pills which are controlling the extra acid in my stomach but are still rocking my body with side effects. (TMI: nausea; diarrhoea; stomach pain, that is "pain of my stomach organ", like my stomach itself had been punched from the inside)

Please let it be known, up until about mid-May, despite these side effects, I was doing ok. Pretty good, I would say. Yes, there were days when I wasn't great. But overall, not too bad.

Then it gets to June, around my birthday. The side effects are getting worse and I'm starting to feel pretty shitty. No pun intended 😑 My parents go away for a week holiday and when they come back, I had apparently declined so much during those 7 days that they discussed it at length that night after I'd gone to bed. I was visibly worse, visibly sicker than I had been before they'd left, a mere 7 days ago. I was un-blissfully aware that my condition was indeed getting worse, seemingly by the day.

Never the less, I carried on as best I could.

This leads me to one night in June when I almost collapsed during a fitness class because I had felt so sick and in pain in my stomach. This episode actually caused my mother to contemplate calling for an ambulance to take me to hospital because I looked and felt so ill.

I have a phone call with another doctor (doctor #3) the next day, explaining my on-going issues with this first pill, the side effects, and my almost-collapse the night before. He prescribes me a different, gentler pill than the one I was on, in hopes that the side effects would not be as drastic. Well, he was correct. I did not have side effects from pill #2...Because pill #2 did not work against the stomach acid and I was crippled in less than 3 days.

Another phone call with a doctor (I honestly don't remember who I spoke to, everything was a blur at that point) and he tells me to go back to my old pills for the time being, but that he would also prescribe another pill, stronger than #2 but not as strong as #1, so it should control the acid but hopefully have less side effects.

(If anyone is still reading, thank you and I love you)

So I go back to pill #1 and with everything going on with this illness and my job, I just forget to collect pill #3.

About a week goes by, I'm still sick, I still have acid, the side effects have kicked in again now that I was back on pill #1, and I almost collapse for a second time at the same fitness class.

At that point, enough was enough. I had had it with this stupid acid and the stupid pills and the doctors not helping me feel better, so I booked an appointment with a private specialist, but that appointment was still 3 weeks away.

I go to work the next morning (the day after my second episode) and people can tell I'm not myself. My mum happens to call me just as I was putting my bags down at my desk, to check in on me, see how I was feeling that morning after what happened the night before. And I break down.

I have to find a private room because I am so upset, so distressed, and still feeling so ill. I am in tears on the phone with my mother, and we decide together that I had to go home, I was not fit to work, and I had to see a doctor that morning. Not just have a phone call, but actually see and speak to a doctor so that they could actually look at me and see how ill I was for themselves.

I manage to stop crying, get myself together a little, and pull my supervisor out of a meeting to tell her that I needed to go home. When she saw me with tears drying on my cheeks, she knew something was seriously wrong. As a rule, I don't cry when I'm upset. My colleagues had never seen me cry before, or even get slightly upset, so when I started crying again while speaking to this supervisor, the whole team knew how bad I had gotten. I manage to stutter out that I wasn't well and needed to go home and needed to see a doctor, and I headed home.

When I got home, my mother was on the phone was the doctors surgery, telling them that I needed an urgent appointment and that if they couldn't fit me in, we would be going to hospital because I could not wait for a regular appointment and I needed to be seen by a doctor that day.

They give me an appointment for that morning and my mother comes with me, to make sure that the doctor takes me seriously and doesn't just give me some new pill and tell me everything would be fine.

Because I felt like I was dying. I knew there was something wrong inside me, something was wrong with my body, and I felt like it was going to kill me if we didn't catch it. Whatever this was would be listed as Cause of Death on the certificate if I didn't get help. I didn't know what it was or how it would be treated, but I felt like I was dying, and I had felt that way for a while.

We go to the doctors and we're seen by a lovely female doctor who was very kind and sympathetic, and agreed that something had to be done urgently to help me. The first thing she did was sign me off work for 2 weeks, so I could rest and recuperate a little, take away the stress of work so that my body could get out of the fight-or-flight mode it had been in for the past several weeks.

The second thing was to refer me for an urgent procedure which would examine my stomach internally and see if there was anything physically wrong with it. I collected pill #3 from the pharmacy while we were there, which I started the next day.

One week later, I have the test at hospital, and finally we were given an answer. 7 months after that first appointment, 3 medications, half a dozen urgent phone calls, and being signed off work, finally led to an answer.

Hiatal hernia, 3cm.

A hiatal hernia happens when a portion of your stomach slips through the opening in your diaphragm muscle where your oesophagus joins with your stomach and that portion of your stomach ends up lodged in your chest cavity.

Fun.

This isn't a life-threatening condition, it's not even treated as a serious one. It's incredibly common, and research says that approximately 50% of patients with hiatal hernias don't even experience any symptoms.

Lucky bastards. Mine had me convinced I was dying.

Having that answer, that diagnosis did help. I wasn't dying. This was not serious, I would be ok.

Next came the question of what to do with this diagnosis. Several people I know have had their hernias for years and manage perfectly fine with no issues, complaints, or the need for medication.

So I could either learn how to manage it with the right medication, or seek surgery.

I went back to the doctor a few weeks later to discuss these options, and myself and the same lovely doctor who saw me That Day agreed that I would give it a few months and see how I fared on this new pill, pill #3 that I had been taking for about 3 or 4 weeks at that point.

Pill #3 did work better than #2, but alas had the same side effects as pill #1, admittedly to a lesser degree.

I gave pill #3 about 3 months, before I requested a new prescription, as it was now only, say, 90% effective against the acid and was still giving me side effects.

In comes pill #4. The doctor (not the lovely female doctor, a different doctor on the phone) explains that #4 is slightly stronger than #3 so should be more effective against the acid.

Nope.

Pill #4 did not help with my acid at all and came with even more side effects that #3. All cons, no pros.

Back to #3 only about 10 days later.

I go back to pill #3 for a while and just try to manage the side effects as best I can.

But about a month ago (mid-Nov 2019) pill #3 seems to just...stop working?? Out of nowhere?? I woke up one morning with stomach acid, and it wouldn't go away. I didn't think much of it, after all some days were worse than others. I just assumed I was having a bad day. But the next day, I had that acid feeling as well. And the next day. And the next. Before I knew it, it had been an entire week of that bad acid feeling, even though I was still taking pill #3 at the same dose I had been for several months. Nothing had changed, yet the pill wasn't working anymore.

Another phone call, another pill. Pill #5, which is where we are now. I've been on #5 for around 2 weeks, and I still don't feel great.

I have a specialist consultation booked for January, and I will be officially seeking corrective surgery.

Thank you for sticking with me while I try and sort my shit out.

TLDR: had a very shit year so haven't been creative or in the holiday spirit

[wonderlandmind4]

Delicate Stages: Chp 2

Pairings: Bucky Barnes x OFC Ana Rios

Summary: Bucky Barnes agrees to participate in Deprogramming Sessions. What he gets is not anything like he expected.

Bucky is seriously considering going back on his decision, and his feet shift towards the exit of their own accord. The thing is, as easy as it would be to just leave, to slip into the shadows, he does not want to run anymore. He is tired of it.

Warnings for this Chapter: Language, Slight anxiety, slight self doubt, an over use of coffee consumption.

Words: 2,959

A/N: I feel like this is just jumping in there. Mainly because I can not write opening chps for shiz. Feel free to ask questions if confused. Also, my “keep reading” function keeps messing up words, idk why. (tagged) @justreadingfics @nerdyandproud9​ (gif not mine)

Another round of coffee has been poured into Ana's cup. Bucky has a feeling she only went for a refill to give him some time to adjust after their greeting. He appreciates it, but finds that he doesn't really need it. He hasn't felt like he's a flight risk around her yet, so he doesn't mind not adjusting. He still appreciates it though.

"So," Ana begins, after she's sat down again. She uses the thick heel of her boot to rock herself back and forth in the chair. "Eventually, I would like us to be honest with one another, otherwise this won't work very well."

Bucky agrees. "Makes sense."

“We'll just talk today. It can be about anything. If you’re curious about anything, the weather, me. I'm all ears, James.”

Other people have called him by his first name, or last, or even Sergeant, and he always corrects them. This time, that name just doesn't sound right coming from her mouth.

“Bucky. Please call me Bucky," He insists, giving her a tentative smile.

"Okay. So, Bucky, any questions?"

"Are you a shrink?” The question blurts from his lips before he can stop it.

Ana snorts again, falling forward in her chair. “God no. That would be way too much for me. Not saying that psychologists are bad, that just wasn’t my route.”

“What is? What exactly do you do here?”

“I’m…I don’t really have a title to be honest.”

“You seem to have a high level of authority here.”

“Thanks to Steve,” Ana admits with a nonchalant shrug.

"What?"

“Well, you obviously know why he brought you here. Not just for Deprogramming, but for all the other stuff that comes with it. Mentally, for one. Emotionally, physically. He’s talked to you about this right?”

They talked about it on the car ride up. That the possibility of a full body deprogramming is high, that much Bucky tells her. He didn't expect the process to go easy; one, two, three, out the door. It's going to take time and mental, emotional, and physical endurance. It's been seventy years in and out of brainwashing and that damn ice chamber.

“There are going to be side effects," She continues lightly, "probably some long days, some sleepless night. It’ll take a toll on you in every aspect, I’m here to help you through it all. Steve cares for you, and I care for people. I guess they call me, unofficially, a Psychological Healer. I'm a non-combated agent. I typically just work within the Healing Ward helping with psychological and sociological elements."

A hard swallow. A flare in his heart rate. “A Healer? Orders from Steve?”

“Not orders, and I am going to make this very clear, Bucky. You are not, and will never be my orders. You are not an assignment, a project, or a mission.”

Bucky locks his eyes with hers, and he counts the golden specks laced within the rich brown irises; nine. He doesn’t know why, but his heart is pounding a little harder, but not from anxiety. It feels different, warm, comforting…accepted. It feels human.

“Understood?” Ana prompts firmly.

“Yes,” He breathes out.

Ana smiles at him. “I’m here to help you. No orders. Steve just thought I was the best choice. I want to help you, so I am going to help you.”

Bucky oddly finds himself wanting to believe her. Hears the open sincerity in her voice. The way she has been looking into his eyes since they met with no fear. She is looking at him like he is a human being, not a weapon for another cause.

“We can stop if you want,” Ana offers, leaning back in her seat again. “Sometimes I overwhelm people, too much too soon. Headstrong, runs in the family.”

“In a good way,” Bucky replies, suddenly having the need to reassure her.

Ana gives him a strange look. “Thanks?”

"So, not a doctor?"

"Nah, I'm just very...empathetic," She answers with a touch of mirth in her smooth voice. “Though I do have a degree in Psychology and Sociology.”

Bucky lifts his mug to his lips and says, "So he put you in charge of me?"

"If you're into that sort of thing."

The coffee Bucky just took a sip of nearly goes down his airway. He coughs once against the ceramic, blinks rapidly so his eyes don't water and stares at the woman sitting across from him. She has her face turned to the side, lips to the rim of her cup, but her eyes are wide. There's a slight tint of a blush on her cheeks, but other than that, she remains perfectly calm. Something is rising in him, from his stomach and making it's way up his chest. 

Bucky laughs.

"Sorry! It just slipped out," Ana groans, wiping her bottom lip with her thumb.

Bucky will take this quick witted, sharp tongued, nonjudgmental...beautiful girl over anyone else who may had wanted her position. A small surge of hope shoots through him again. This is nothing like how he thought today would go.

"Want to see your room?"

***

When Ana first entered the lab, with Agent Sharp yacking in her ear condescendingly, she had no idea how the day would go. She saw Bucky Barnes sitting patiently, if rather skittish, on her desk. She had no idea if it was due to his first day, or the guards on the second level watching him with subtle, sharp vicious eyes. She saw them idling about, but Ana knew how focused they truly were. Of course no one in the room was going to just let the Winter Soldier sit unguarded. It churned her stomach the wrong way.

She just hopes she didn't come off too strong. Though she figured jumping in with her quirky way of doing things was better than walking on eggshells. Captain Rogers told her to do exactly that, so she did, and if Steve gave her permission, then who was she to refuse. She could've held back on the coffee bit though. No one seems nearly as excitable about coffee as she does.

As Ana leads Bucky to his room, she feels a light buzz in her blood, prickles softly at her skin. She tampers it down, locks the sensation away for another time. She has been a little worried since meeting him, if only because she doesn't want Bucky believing she has ulterior motives. She doesn't, she really hopes she can convey that. Sooner rather than later, but the nervousness makes her own energy and emotions act up. She does what she does best, and pushes them aside for the moment.

Ana reaches their destination, opening the door. Bucky glances around the spacious room, with two windows that face the woods and an en-suite. The bed frame, with its black headboard, dawns a queen-sized mattress raised off the dark hardwood flooring, with four pillows and a dark blue comforter. There’s a single dresser pressed against the opposite wall, a desk opposite and a closest adjacent to that. The electronics on the wall look advanced, sleek, standing out against the light gray walls.

“This is for me?” Bucky inquires quietly, bypassing her and stepping in further.

“Yes. It’s not much, since people are greedy and took the rooms closer to the kitchen. I hope it’s okay,” Ana notices the way his eyes flit around the room, expression calm yet calculating. 

He’s looking for exits.

“There’s also a way to escape via the bathroom window in the shower,” She tells him casually. 

He turns to give her a quizzical look. 

“It’s wide enough to lift yourself up and push it out. I just hope that won’t be necessary. This room is yours for as long as you want it to be. I know it must be hard to settle here, to believe that nothing and no one is after you. But I hope this place can be a safe haven for you one day.”

“Are you sure you can’t read minds?” He quips, quirking an eyebrow.

“I’m just very perceptive. Comes with what I do,” Ana shrugs.

Bucky hums understanding. His face twitches for a moment, like he’s self-conscious about something. ”I don’t have many possessions."

"I think Steve said he'll help with that," She points to the closet. "By the way, that backpack of yours is in there."

There's a split second of a break in Bucky's expression, relief flooding his blue eyes. He goes to open the closet door, finding his backpack suspended on a hanger. Ana is content to watch him as he unzips the bag, and rummages through it. Whatever he had in there is important and holds meaning to him. 

She watches the muscles of his back shift, the tension in his shoulders from earlier have subsided a little. Ana's phone buzzes in her back pocket. She pulls it out, checking the message she received.

She clears her throat. "I have to go now." 

Bucky looks over his shoulder at her, as if he forgotten she was there. 

"You're welcomed to explore the area or stay here, or nap,” She suggests. “Whichever. We usually have dinner around, well, depends on who is cooking. Six-thirty or seven. I'll see you then?"

Bucky blinks, his arm still in the bag. "Thank you,” He sounds sincere, if a little shy.

Ana flashes her friendliest smile. Her goal for the moment is to make him feel as welcomed as she can. She gives a little wave, backs up and bumps into something. She glares at the object.

"That's a door," She states obviously. "Right. See you later." She ignores the amused smirk Bucky gives her, and leaves, quietly shutting the door behind her.

While she's walking down the hall, she looks at her phone again. Steve has requested a briefing with her regarding the Deprogramming Sessions. She makes her way out to the living compound, heading down the walkway that will lead to the facility. 

As first time meetings go, that one with Bucky went pretty well. Minus her irritation at Agent Sharp. She hopes Bucky over looks that, and that the energy within that moment remained calm, positive. For him.

She ends up having a long phone conversation with Pepper after the meeting. To which her cousin informed her that Tony kept certain information from her about who was leading the Deprogramming Sessions. Ana reassures Pepper that she is fully capable of handling it. It doesn't stop the apprehension in her chest though, the dark cloud of her past looming in the confides of her mind.

They had fallen silent after that, and Ana senses that Pepper knows she isn't 100% sure about it either. Not yet at least. It's just, the last time she even considered toying with the idea that she could help someone, it didn't end well. Pepper insists it isn't her fault, but Ana will forever blame herself.

Before they hung up, Pepper wished her all the luck and made her promise to visit soon. Ana is left with a bittersweet notion of that promise. She doesn't think she will be able to leave for a while, and she misses her cousin. She's the only close family member she has, being Ana's father's niece. Distant family members are scattered across the country and Puerto Rico but they don’t speak to each other often. 

Ana sits up from the lounge chair on the rooftop, overlooking the lush trees. The wind is a little heavy today, but it feels nice. It's not bitterly cold like it was a month ago. It says Spring is around the corner, and soon the temperatures will being to warm again. She sits there just enjoying the view and the sounds of nature for a while longer. When her phone tings with a text informing her that dinner is ready, Ana gets up.

She walks over to the trap door across from the main roof entrance, pulling it open. Carefully, she makes her way down the small latter, and hops down the last step into her room through the window. She was very excited she got a room with roof access. Gives her an escape when emotions, energy and people get too much. She plugs her phone in, and exists her room

Being that her room is the last one down the long hallway, Ana passes three more bedrooms. They're all spread out far enough that it makes for good privacy. She passes Wanda's room, then Sam's because he wanted the middle one with the giant window, the diva. The last room she passes before the hall turns left towards the lounge area, is the newly occupied one.

The door to Bucky's new room is closed, and she debates if she should knock or not. Ana can smell the food from where she's standing, which means he can certainly smell it too. Maybe he chose to get settled rather than meet a rather boisterous group of people. Who he has probably fought with before...right. It makes sense.

Ana continues walking, makes it to the end of the hall, then turns back. She's going to invite him anyway because she wants him to feel welcomed. This is his home now, he shouldn't feel ostracized.

"I already told him," Steve says from behind her. Ana turns again. "Said he just wants an early night in."

“Alright,” Ana sighs in understanding. She walks up to Steve, hooking her arm with his. "Did Sam make lasagna?"

"Yeah," Steve chuckles as they walk into the lounge. "Opened that new bottle of red too."

"Goddammit, Wilson!" That’s her bottle of red wine.

A heartily laugh echos around the room.

*

Nearly two hours passed after dinner, Ana and Wanda cleaning up the last of the dishes. There's a plate set aside with two pieces of lasagna, some salad and garlic bread. The bread and lasagna are still warm from sitting in the food warmer, Ana having added the salad after she took it out. Her eyes drift over to the hallway, digging her teeth into her bottom lip.

"Just go give it to him already," Wanda speaks up, nudging her elbow. "I'm sure he'll appreciate it."

"What if he's sleeping?" Ana glances at the clock. It's only a quarter past eight.

"If he doesn't answer, then just leave it in the fridge. He'll find it."

"I just want him to feel accepted."

"Let him feel accepted by you first, that's the important thing, yes? Plus, his energy feels off. Being around us tonight would've made him more nervous."

"You feel that too?"

Wanda levels her with an unimpressed look. "You feel it tenfold, Ana. Don't pretend."

"I'm trying to tamper it down. He doesn't know about it yet."

"Not something you talk about upon a first greeting?" She teases.

Ana rolls her eyes. "Right. Because going, ”Hey, I'm an Energy Alchemist and Empathetic Healer which means I can feel every single one of your emotions and feelings without your permission”, would be a great way to start that off. Good trust building tacit right there."

Wanda's fingers glow for a moment and a crumpled napkin hits Ana in the face. "Don't be a smart ass. You don't do it without people's permission. Give yourself some credit. Just go bring him food."

Ana throws the napkin back at her, but her friend just sends it to the trash. Wanda is right though. Ana is stalling and she doesn't really know why. Maybe it feels a little like invading his privacy on the first night by knocking on his door. Something is hovering from the corner of her eye, Ana glares.

"Fine! I'll bring him dinner." She grabs the floating, red glowing plate from mid air.

"Finally. You've wanted to all night. I'll finish up here." Wanda offers.

Ana smiles at her. She grabs a clean napkin, a knife and fork as well, and heads towards the hallway. She can see that Sam's door is closed, but the soft music emitting from it says he is still up. Everyone else seemed to beg off early as well, and that makes for a nice quiet night.

Once she reaches the door to Bucky's room, she takes in a short breath. She exhales, gently tapping her knuckles against the wood. He doesn't answer. Ana listens for a few moments, hears nothing but silence. She tries once more, knocking a little harder. If he doesn't answer, then she'll just put the food away. 

Nothing. Ana turns, taking a few steps down the hall when she hears the door click open. She whirls back around, smiling at Bucky's head poking out from the small gap.

"I brought you dinner, in case you were hungry," She informs, closing the space between them to hand him the plate.

Bucky opens the door wider, he's wearing soft gray sweatpants and a black tee shirt. With a tentative smile, he accepts the plate. His hair is pushed back behind his ears, and he looks sleepy. Like he really was going to bed early.

"I didn't wake you, did I?" Ana questions. She'd feel bad.

"Nah, I was just..." Bucky trails off, like he doesn’t know he should say the next words. "Writing."

Ana doesn't press. "Alright, well, enjoy."

"Thank you."

"Sam made it, so thank him if it's good."

"I meant for today," Bucky clarifies. "Just...thank you."

She doesn't know exactly what he's thanking her for, but she smiles anyway. "Of course. See you tomorrow?"

"Seven?"

"Who the hell is up at seven in the morning?" Ana scoffs, offended. "Why would anyone willing get up that early?"

Bucky chuckles. "Not a morning person?"

"Not even a little. Nine. Nine o'clock."

"Nine it is then."

Ana huffs, muttering. "That's still too early."

"Goodnight, Ana."

"Goodnight," She grins at him.

Turning on her foot, she heads towards her room. Ana hears the door close quietly behind her. Despite her nerves of the entire day, she doesn't think it could have gone better.

*****************************************************

Previous   Next

[thecrazyanimegirl]

Just another fanfiction

I don’t know what happened in this chapter, but it had to happen!

{ Chapter 1 }  { Chapter 2 } { Chapter 3 } { Chapter 5 }

Enjoy!

___________________________________________________________

Chapter 4

I raise the bottle. “Who wants some alcohol?”

“…”

What? I thought people would have some reaction to that, even though I’m just buying time.

“Hands up!” One of them makes a fast movement with the gun. It seems they don’t like me.

“Yek!”, I pretend to get scared and throw the bottle in the air.

The bottle spins one time in the air then falls in front of them.

They look pretty confused. Can’t blame them, but I have to concentrate now.

“What is that smell?”, one of them makes a terrible grimace.

Chloroform, but not that I will tell you that.

I read somewhere that sodium hypochlorite with acetone could make chloroform. It was a gamble mostly because I couldn’t trust that information. I needed a lot of it to make the odds better. It was good that I had gylicerol. It was easy to make it in acetone with my ability. But the most important thing I figured is that my ability works better with things that have strong scent. Makes sense. After all, that is what I asked for.

“You are right something is o-f-…”, they both fall down, unconscious.

“It seems they already had enough alcohol”, I comment.

“What did you do?”

“I asked if they wanted some alcohol?”

“Really now…” Well it is not like I ever thought I can hide something from you, Dazai. “Then let’s continue.”

“But…”

“What?”

“What about them?”

“What about them?”

I sigh. I don’t think that I have enough energy to deal with him.

“I lost my bottle because of them”, I make sad puppy eyes.

For I second I see a surprise in his eyes. It is quickly gone.

“I’ll get you a new one”, he turns around and starts to walk.

“But I liked this bottle”, I pout.

He doesn’t say anything, just keeps walking.

Not after long we reach a bar. The bar. Lupin ,huh? I kind of feel my heart ache.

“We are here~”, Dazai sings to his friends.

“We?” Oda asks in concern.

Odasaku… I think I’m gonna cry.

“She looks like she is gonna cry”, Ango comments lazily.

“Well I am sorry, but I am certainly not going to be happy about being rejected then kidnaped and then almost dying and then being dragged to the bar and then…” I’m getting to emotional.

“Oh, come on, it wasn’t like anyone would have killed you”, Dazai says nonchalantly.

“Easy for you to say”, I say darkly and sit on the chair between Oda and Dazai.

“Why is that?”

I look at him like he is full of it (which he is).

“Then I can leave and pretend like I have never seen you?”

“Of course not.”

“You two seem to get along well”, Ango comments.

“Not at all”, I say.

“Really well”, Dazai says.

“Who rejected you?” Oda asks.

“That is what you want to know?” I look at him in shock.

“It is the weirdest part, honestly”, he shrugs.

Wow.

“At least introduce yourself people, before asking that”, I drink something bartender puts in front of me.

“Yack.” It is disgusting.

“Not fond of alcohol?” Dazai is smiling.

“Shut up”, I hide my face.

“And it was Chuuya who rejected her.”

They both shake their heads like it is understandable.

“What? I would understand if it was Dazai we are talking about and not Chuuya”, I am confused with their understanding.

They don’t say anything.

“Can you introduce yourself already?” I am too tired for this.

“Oda Sakunosuke.”

“Sakaguchi Ango.”

“Dazai-“

“Yeah, I don’t care”, I dismiss him with my hand.

“That hurts…” He is being overly dramatic.

“So does being kidnaped and dragged around.”

“Nobody kidnaped you.”

I just stare at him.

“This is rare”, Oda comments.

“What is?” I look at him and regret because now I feel like crying again.

“Usually every women is all over him when they first meet”, Ango explains.

“Wonder why”, I say even thou I know. He has that charm. But I will not get sucked by it and then be left crying! I hope.

“You are so mean~”, Dazai throws his arms around me.

“No touching policy!” I jump on reflex. Oh no… I just gave him one more thing to make my life a living hell.

“And why is that?” he smiles darkly.

“You know why”, I take a glass with that disgusting alcohol. I need it.

“Are you finally talking?”

“Wasn’t aware this was interrogation.”

“Yes, you were.”

I turn my head away from him in annoyance just to be met with two confused faces.

“What? Do I have something on my face?” I ask casually.

“No, it is just…”, Oda starts.

“You obviously know who and what Dazai is and yet you are not afraid”, Ango finishes.

Am I that obvious? And I thought I was doing well…

“I am afraid of him. I’m afraid he is going to annoy me for the rest of my life”, I try to sound calm.

Oda laughs and Ango frowns.

“That is not going to happen. I don’t have that much patience”, I shiver at Dazai’s cold voice that is so close to my ear. “See, you are afraid.”

“Look, I would love to tell you everything you want to know, but it’s just…”, how to say this?

“Just?”

“I feel like it is better for everyone if I stay quiet.”

“And what about your ability?” Dazai finally let’s go of me.

“I’m not sure yet, but you will be the first to know when I figure it out”, I smile sweetly.

“You should be fast. I was serious when I said I don’t have that much patience”, he seems to really mean it.

“Neither do I.”

“Does it have something to do with seeing the future?”

“No, that is just a hobby”, a really nice hobby. I miss watching anime. This world was so much better when I was watching it. It takes a lot of energy to talk to these people and I’m lazy.

They continue talking, but I’m not listening. I’m looking at Oda and trying not to cry. It is really hard when they are in front of you, alive and breathing.

“I’m gonna go to the restroom”, I announce and go.

They probably know I’ll try to run away so I have to be quick.

I go through the back exit and run.

Why I’m doing this? Simply put, my gut is telling me I should run and I always trust my gut.

“Now, now . Running behind my back. Not very nice are you?”

Wow. That was like really fast. The shortest failed escape ever.

“I guess I’ll just have to do this hard way”, he seems to have fun though.

I try to run away from Dazai but I ran into Ango who catches me. “Sorry.”

“Hard to be a double agent”, I mutter.

A shadow appears on his face. Great, now I feel bad.

“Don’t worry. I won’t tell”, I smile.

Something hits my head and I fall.

The last thing I see before I lose conscious is Dazai picking me up and telling others he will take care of it.

Am I going to die again? What a mess.

{ Chapter 1 }  { Chapter 2 } { Chapter 3 } { Chapter 4 } { Chapter 5 }

[kateemmerson]

Malaga Momentos - My City of Healing

This is my tribute to a city that held me tight while I grieved a part of my life no longer real or relevant, cried a whole river of tears, let the sun warm my bones and fell in love with me again. Like L’Oreal says …‘cos I’m worth it, baby!

I have lived my entire life believing that certain places call out to my soul. They whisper quietly and then if perhaps I don’t listen timeously, they yell a little louder. It always feels like threads of energy are attached to my heart and they start tugging gently at me. I have never been able to adequately explain it, suffice it to say that I am a gypsy-traveller-nomad at heart, and love to move. Often. I also understand the innate value of a home, a base, and roots, but I have danced and moved between these two extremes all my life.

The way it happens varies – it might be the first time someone utters the name of that place and it feels like the words leave their lips and send a cupid’s arrow straight to my heart; or an image lands on my retina for the first time, or the words jump off the page in a book and just…won’t… let…go…!

Sometimes it’s just a whispering deep inside…that inevitably becomes stronger and stronger. Having traveled alone on a plane at the tender age of 8, that bug bit early. Many times I have literally sold up everything I own in order to make a trip to follow the strings that are pulling the hardest. The yearning that will not quieten down. 4 years ago I even took it a bit further, and as a ‘late-in-my-40’s’ year old, packed up again and went #LocationFree with my business still intact and growing. I have just written about that journey for my 5th book, due for release later this year.

For 4 years I have had no fixed home of my own, simply following the strings pulling at my heart; combining retreats, talks and coaching work around the world – and LOTS of online work, along with many visits of the heart to South Africa. One suitcase and a large armful of dreams. But now, I am finally looking for my next home. A little place to call mine – a nest to return to. Roots to plant and lavender to pick. Listening once again to the stirrings in my heart. I’m also getting clear about where I DON’T want to be, which can pave the way for where I do. There is a very loooong back story as to how I landed up coming to Spain – my business partner Sarah walked a part of the Camino in 2018 and together we decided it would be a spectacular way to combine writing and walking. So we did. Another whole story layered on top of that was that in my personal relationship, Spain seemed like somewhere to explore as a potential home for us in the future.

But where to explore? And where to explore for my heart?

Choosing Malaga was easy. My mama-bear lives in a beautiful retirement village in the UK and I have gotten to know many of her lovely neighbors. Cue a wonderful couple who spends a LOT of time in Spain and own homes here. So I popped across for tea asking for some necessary advice. I was presented with a good old fashioned map and a destination. They know my age, my interests and I just said – “where do you think I should spend the winter to write my book?” “MALAGA!”

“Where?”

“Malaga – you will LOVE it. Lots of culture, museums, history, art, expats, locals, awesome food, warm etc, etc.

“Where? Oh there, on the coast – I see it.”

“But not to the West Kate; Malaga or East.”

Got it. Done. That’s all it takes for me sometimes. A clear directive delivered at the right time. Apparently, many people I know have already been to Malaga, including my parents (and Hemingway of course); but I didn’t know that at the time (in my active brain). Go figure.

So I duly went into my trusted housesitters profile  (click link if you want a 25% discount) and started looking for a Malaga based house-sit for the winter. Mmmmalaga. A 2.5 month house-sit for one kitty popped onto my screen. Looks easy peasy. And warm – just like a Durban winter. If you are not from South Africa just think cozy, sunny and warm, a bit like Florida in the winter. Where all the human “swallows” might go in search of thawing out. You just need a light jacket in winter, no serious heating and can soak up plenty of vitamin D.

Well, yes, that beats the dreary UK over the winter, dunnit?

Fast forward – we facilitated the Walk ‘n Write Retreat in Northern Asturias region; my partner doesn’t join me as originally planned; Sarah and I visit Madrid for 4 nights; I plonk Sarah on the plane and then I head South. Alone. I like the way Malaga rolls off my tongue. Sounds exotic – I’m spending winter in Malaga. Tra la la – like I’m some millionairess with a house on the hill. Ha – If only I knew what was in store.

The potential house-sit didn’t pan out, after all, so while in Madrid I had booked 6 weeks in a glorious modern Air B‘nB New York type loft, thinking I could get writers to join me for a residency while I wrote over winter too. Or perhaps friends could pop over from the UK? It was gorgeous and trendy and just a short walk from everything. The morning after I arrived, I walked the 18 minutes across the “dry river” bridge into the historic city center to go and sign up for Spanish Classes. After all, I needed a total immersion if considering living in Spain. I thought it best I scrub up a bit and take the language plunge. Plus it would get me to meet people in a city where I knew literally no one and I could use it with my significant other.

I fell in love. INSTANTLY. Everywhere I looked made me beam from the inside out.

I have three innate questions when visiting a new place: Do I love it? Will I ever come back? Could I live here?

It was an instant YES to all three. It took me by surprise actually. These questions get asked and answered internally for me, without having to actively process them the moment I arrive somewhere. Most places I visit I generally tend to really like, or even love. Some, I definitely know I’ll be back to visit again and then a few grab me and my heart almost instantly. Malaga was an instant cupid moment and it has stayed with me. Four months later, I still absolutely love this city, and I absolutely could live here – but I also have come to realize that Spain is somehow not my next home. It’s a hard one for anyone else to fathom what I am saying – but that is how it feels for ME. It’s been a really interesting concept for me to lean into. I could live in Malaga but not in Spain. Mmm ok – so it’s off the list as a permanent base then.

I am still on the hunt for my next country! How exciting!

Malaga will 100% be a place I return to. It feels like home even though it won’t be my permanent home. Does that make sense? The first Air BnB apartment turned out to be inappropriate ‘cos I couldn’t sleep, thanks to the neighbor’s TV on till 3 am. Thankfully I managed to cancel the rest of my booking and moved straight into the center of the historic town. There is a fabulous brand called ILOFTMALAGA – great curated apartments of very high standards. Funky, modern and minimalist – me to a T. My quiet apartment looked onto a bustling street in the heart of the olde town. Bliss.

I started looking for another house-sit. I also found the awesome website GUIDE TO MALAGA and reached out to it’s founder, Joanna Styles, and joined a networking session to meet like-minded business women. Bliss! Her guide really is the GO-TO for anything that you want to know about. Be sure to grab it when visiting Malaga.

“Why a house-sit Kate”, you may ask?

Mostly because I love to feel like I’m really IN a city, living there like a local, with animals to look after and using local transport – rather than being a visitor looking from the outside in. Can you believe that the same housesit from my initial search, was back in play on the membership site, as she had been seriously let down by anther house-sitter? Only this time I was already IN Malaga and could meet the “pussycat’s slave” in person. I got to visit the exquisite property just to the East of Malaga, and it instantly felt like Cape Town – Camp’s Bay to be precise. With a sweet black ’n white kitty to love and vice versa. I needed some animal love! It was a done deal. I had a winter home and a base from which to write my next book and heal my heart. The Cat slave, Melanie, is  helping shift people’s perceptions to become Vegan through her recipes and coaching.

This might be another whole blog post one day, but at a very personal level, suffice it to say I was walking into the “Devil’s Den” by wondering if I could actually LIVE in Spain. It was part of another story of my potential future that was rapidly changing before my eyes– a future that it seemed was sadly not coming to fruition. And yes, I am being a little cryptic on purpose. If you know me, pick up the phone and call to chat for a more personal update! But, sometimes we need to face the fire. Spain was that for me. Healing, writing, walking, crying, yelling at the universe, sleeping, laughing, walking, reading, writing, creating a new community. Rinse and repeat. Rinse and repeat. Malaga Momentos.

After about 2 weeks of being in Malaga – already with some favorite spots under my belt, an innate understanding of all the cobbled streets, local coffee shops where locals hung out, many, many beach walks, clients taken care of, and my resonance with the city deepening, I realized I needed to really LIVE and CONNECT and be less of a hermit. I was spending too much time alone if this was going to be my home for a few months. Working mostly online can be deceptive that way. I am always connecting with coaching clients, mastermind folk, writer’s and my mentorship groups and always interacting with people, friends, and family. But I needed more connecting IN THE FLESH. I knew I was going to be staying for a minimum of 3 months and I thought I best get to work on building a community of people. Playmates, colleagues, connections to yackety-yack with. Solidarity and friendships. The best way I know how to do that is to do it via something I love. I looked at dance classes, but they started at my bedtime. So what about writing?

I had decided it was the time to start writing my 5th book and had lodged that in my heart as my “winter” project. It’s about the past 4 years of living location free. So I searched for and joined the local Facebook group for Expats, and put up a post about how I was writing a book and asked who fancied joining me for some writing sessions? A simple post. I often do these writing sessions with our writers in our mentorships and regularly sit in community with writers. I was bowled over by the responses, especially a lady from Scotland who lives here all winter who started pointing me to all sorts of people she instinctively thought I’d like to meet. Instant networks and threads for me to explore.

I wasn’t starting the Malaga group as a paid membership or community –simply more to meet people and anchor myself in front of my computer. In the first meeting, there were 5 of us – and in 2 short hours, I had planned my whole book in 13 pages of hand-written notes. I always have a rule that every time you sit to write you need a goal to aim for. I offered this one rule to the group to get everyone to set minimum word count/goals for the writing session. Very little talking – lots of writing and lots of coffee. Word quickly spread. This week, as I leave Malaga, two other writers have taken over the group to keep the energy going and to keep writers writing!  Thanks to a lovely young lad Matt from the USA and Marta from Scotland (a belt loving scriptwriter) who took over,  I somehow feel as if I have managed to leave a little piece of myself here in the form of a committed writing group. That makes me so happy! I had been shown a PERFECT writing spot by my house-sit host. La Galerna is right on the beach in Pedregalejo, and we sit upstairs looking over the Mediterranean. I gathered folk who wanted to write together, once or twice a week. Within just 11 such writing sessions I had finished the first draft of my book. FANBLOODYTASTIC! Thanks to the regular committed folk Marc, Ruth, Carolynne, Eunice, Gian, Jan, Matt, Caroline, Marta and Lina. My regular writing tribe!

I have a small community here now, favorite places that call out to my heart, little back streets I always walk, bus drivers I know to greet, the place I buy my breakfast, an awesome physiotherapist, a weekly co-working meet-up with the fabulous Victoria Watson, a brand & PR expert, my regular pit-stop to the El Haman Turkish hot baths that soothe my muscles as I let the stress slip onto slabs of heated marble. I literally used to pray onto the slabs of marble while pouring buckets of piping hot water over my soul. The power of rituals. Then there is the powerhouse that is the incredible Nathan Manzaneque who runs the BTB networking club. I was also bowled over by the powerhouse of heartfullness, Victoria Ahlen who runs The Vilostrada Foundation doing phenomenal work in Morocco, and she is based between Morocco and Malaga. Or how about early morning Pilates with Ruth on the beach watching the sunrise.

I found a funky hairdresser and the best nail technician I have ever found anywhere. She’s called Angelica – go figure- and she is like a little butterfly on my nails. Or for the gals who need Frida type eyebrows – visit these two gorgeous Polish sisters who make this an unforgettable experience. Lashes and brows with love. I also have many other local coffee shops. I even get to tell established residents where to eat a certain food or entice them to a piano concerto in the magnificent Art Deco Concert Hall. And a guy I make sure I go and visit every time I’m near Plaza Constitution with his puppy called Kitty to offer an ear as he battles the streets. It’s a community for me. I know I will entice you to come and visit and …I already have plans afoot to host a Writing Residency in November 2020. Hosted at a gorgeous, brand new Retreat Centre called VegaHouseSpain run by Ana Capucho Maybe you get to explore this city with me soon?

I walk through it like a local. Smiling!

For me, life is usually about going TO something rather than walking away FROM somewhere else. I know it’s still Europe / Uk that’s pulling me. That’s what I know for now.

But I needed a blank page in between the old and the new. Malaga was my place. Officially leaving South Africa after to-and fro-ing for 4 years, I am in the place of – oh hell – so where next? Where is the place I let myself “pot”. You know- when you POT A PLANT? I have picked up my roots from the 50 years of being in SA, but am now dancing in the air waiting for the drumroll of ….YES, IT’S HERE. To feel the resonance of “This place wants me to stay.”

Malaga offered me a precious place to pause. To regather me to myself. Process and ponder life and where I am going. How do I want to truly live going forward, and how do I want to show up for my work and purpose. Where do I wish to create a proper home and retreat center? What does this new chapter look like and who joins me on it? Do you know what I mean when I say certain cities have the ability to help you heal – from the inside out? Malaga just mostly made me smile – or when I was grieving I could still smile through the tears as I stared at the ocean. It is an outrageously wonderful city to be in over Christmas and New year – the shops and Christmas lights and concerts are simply magnificent.  I also had a dear friend and my mum come visit – and it was so easy to show them “my” city. Every time I spot the ‘Catedral’ I burst into a smile- she suddenly appears as you walk along a narrow street then BOOM – her majestic dome and “manquita arm” is right in front of you. Or walking past Octopus- the multi-million dollar yacht that was berthed in the Puerto all winter. I never did get an invite onto it. Rooftop terraces to bask in the sun sipping vino and tapas. Buskers playing everything from harps, to flutes to opera. A little Flamenco passion and “Naranja” lined streets. I also happened to have a fabulous Spanish teacher who lived in my complex – if ever you need a Spanish language immersion, she’s your teacher! I met many, many, amazing souls and you all know who you are, even if not mentioned in person here. Thank you for making my time in Malaga so precious.

I would really LOVE to know where you have ever found yourself doing some deep inner healing and re-assessment work? Or where you are right now? Was it a bustling city, a new country, or a wee village on a remote island? Was it summer and sun, or snow and shovels?

How long did it take you to come back to yourself – to find a sense of inner rhythm again? I feel like my winter sojourn to Malaga has revived me, and I know everything is gonna be just perfect, even though it’s totally different from what I had imagined unfolding these past few months. Life has a plan for us – we just have to show up and be present.

Drop me a line on kate@kate-emmerson.com to connect- or leave me a comment

If you feel like you need to take some time to gather yourself towards yourself, be sure to come and grab my latest series about THE STRATEGIC POWER OF DISCONNECTING

Love Kate xx

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Malaga Momentos – My City of Healing was originally published on Kate Emmerson - The Quick Shift Deva

[meitanreax]

day 4

hi bebu!!

hope you have a good day exploring town tomorrow!! im excited to see what tea and little sights u see ^__^ please send some photos and tea over hehe! i love you lots !! so much, forever, more than anything, with all my heart!!! <3 _ <3 every letter is one step closer to seeing u!! we only have 10 days left WOOO after tomorrow we’ll be in the single digits ^.^

im excited to call u tomorrow!!! also THANKS FOR ADDING SONGS TO THE PLAYLIST LOL majority is still me so u should catch up:3 ive been listening to clear & our playlist next to you, nonstop!!! im probably gonna listen to it a lot too the next day since it’s gonna be a 7-8 hour drive back to my cousin’s house...RIP

so in response to ur challenge: i want u to draw us on the phone talking to each other, u with pupy and me with buny!! or us in japan or us reuniting in the airport...LOL theres a lot of options but ^_^ HEHE U CAN CHOOSE!! here’s my doodle for the first prompt :3 pls send me ur photo when u r done!! i look forward to it!! 

ok!! so here’s for my day!! so i woke up around 530 am cuz of jet lag..and cuz i slept at like 930 LOL so it wasnt too bad!!! i got breakfast and stuff and then left the hotel around ~945 am? here’s some photos before i left!

this is the little garden/plaza in front!! p cute!!!  so literally....like i said our 4 hour drive ended up taking...7 hours..LOL we arrived at like 445 instead of ~130-2 RIP LOL but like i said!! everything that couldve went wrong on the trip, went wrong!! and i was like wtf hmph!!! first the baby yacked, so it was YACK SEAT, and then it was a flat tire!! like bro!! and i kept needing to pee, even worse!!

omg also on the road there was A BUNCH OF “road work ahead” signs and i literally thot of drew gooden’s “road work ahead? uh YEAH, i sure HOPE it does” LOOOL and there was like another sign that said “end road work” and i was like NOOO THE ROAD IS BROKEN NOW LOL

here r some photos i took on the road! we drove through a bunch of little towns idk what was going on and it sucked the road was literally one lane the entire way...LOL and we passed by the ocean at one point!! it was really pretty

we finally arrived around ~445!!! i took some photos of the place we’re at. it’s a place called vigan (pronounced like vegan LMAO) and we’re staying at a bed and breakfast...the wifi is hella jank so i ended up using the fucking hotspot again RIP..oh well at least it works p well ^_^ LOL

i ended up getting my own room with ez!! so i can talk and stuff and do whatever without my parents being loud or annoying LOL (fcking thank god) 

so after we settled down and stuff, we went out to walk around, and see the cobblestone areas, cuz this town is supposed to be an old spanish settlement so they made it more like europe and added cobble stones and stuff, and there are some spanish architecture here!! it’s SOOOO fricking humid though and im fucking DYING i literally started sweating 2 minutes out there

i think this town was actually one of the coolest ive been to in the philippines!! anyways yeah we just walked around looked at the streets and stuff. there was a bunch of horse drawn carriages o.0 and like a lot of tourist pop up shops LOL bro i got annoyed at some r00d filipinos who kept walking in when i was trying to take a photo!! i literally sighed so loud and they looked at me so i think they got the hint LOL ;-; 

but anyways, we walked around, got some water at a 7/11 and i got nutella bueno snacks and pepero and ferero rocher :3 i wanted to get cup noodle but im like hMMM LOL 

here r some cute photos of me that i took today LOL ^.^ just in case u missed my face hehe ( i sure hope u do!! )

after walking around and stuff, bro...we walked to a church and theyre like leTS go InSIDE LOL and im jsut ??? EVERYONE STARTED KNEELING AND PRAYING LOL and im like uh...ok..so i just walked around like i was looking around instead of prayign LKDSJLFKDj dude i found the lil chair the priest sits in during confession and i was gunna sit in it until my dad yelled at me and i was like o

ok

LMFAOOO ;-; i thot it was funny cuz i was speaking through the screen like “helLloOOO” LOL my fucking dumb ass dude!!!

we went back towards the place we were staying at, and then ended up across this cute lil cafe!! 

i also found a CUTE japanese cafe called sweets forest or something and the inside was soo cute there were little vines and flowers everywhere and fairy lights and a little neon sign and i was like sigh ;-; just like cali..and they had japanese crepes!! i wanted to go but my mom was like no we go to church n i was like wtf LOL

but yah across this cafe was a lil bakery, and i got coconut/taro mix ice cream in a lil tub and it was p good!! i gotta say!!

we walked back to our hotel now and now im just chillen here waiting for u hehe :D gonna shower and stuff then just relax!!! excited to talk to u !! thanks for putting in time to wake up early just to talk to me ;_; i rlly appreciate it bebu!!!

ok for tomorrow’s challenge:

do the piccrew drawing :3 LOL also! take photo(s) of something interesting in the town and tell me fun facts or something interesting about it o.0 give me some information!!! be the tour guide :D

thanks for making the break more bearable bebu!! love u so much!! it really warms my heart knowing how much effort we’re both putting into making this work over this long break ;_; im really glad i get to see you soon and i rlly rlly look forward to it!!!! hehe IM EXCITED FOR THE TEAS TOO AND THEN ALSO JUST HOLDING U IN PERSON <3

i love you so much!! forever!! MORE THAN ANYTHING WITH ALL MY HEART BABY!!! i love you soo much!! T-10 DAYS LEFT!!! we got this!!!! POWER THROUGH!!!!! 

[monolid-monologues]

detox,

#11. 

Putting words to it, when i have no idea what is happening.  when i feel consumed but can't look in that direction. avoiding? waiting? sinking.

i feel like i haven't been home in a month. (truth is, it's actually monthS). i wake up, leave, come back, leave, come back, sleep. one weekend here, there, somewhere else, spend my day in the office, live my life in weekends...   

this has been my home for half a year now.

Home is my mom's. home is where i stay to pay student loans instead of rent. it's the station where i shower, and....eat, sometimes.. (not as much as i'd like). it's the address for all my paperwork.  home is where i make a mess, clean, then make another mess. Home is where i get ready to go out.  This home feels un-lived by me who lives there. My relatives are in town for 2 months, and my house comes alive. and 'How to be at home" - it's like learning how to walk.

My visiting grandma will say, "none of us get to see you much" -- and it sounds like a grandma kind of thing to say. -- so i didn’t think too much of it. i haven't seen my grandma, aunt, and cousin in over ten years. and now they're here for two months, now i see my grandma every morning before i leave for work, all of us have dinner once a week, i get to detangle the mythos i've construed all this time spun by my childhood traumas (and it's time to reckon with the way my problems lie within/inside Me). their visit is a critical light between me and them -- and, she’s onto something. We might have spent more time together in 1 month than in 10+ years combined but i am mostly slipping in & out week after week. My absence from home is second nature.

i wonder what home means to me.

i'm not home much. i haven't been home much. i've never been the type to be home much. this isn't to say that i don't spend time at home. on the contrary, i love the safety. and, most of all, i love the privacy. home is a sacred place. and in it, is my private space. But, that’s why even when i'm home, i've never been "home" lol, you know, like Being Around the House, like out in the open, at home like it’s a community space. 

When i was younger, only under very particular circumstances did my parents or my brother come into my room. and they never stayed too long (i don't think i made them feel too welcome, either).

And needless to say, it was not a house with a lot of people comfortably, casually coming and going. With all our secrets, having people over was always a formalized occasion. Nothing too casual about it. So that nothing could ever be too real. Unless everyone else was gone. 

i preferred being home alone. being left alone in my room. or leaving the house altogether. escape whenever possible. 

i found solace in the privacy of my room. i loved the familiarity, freedom, fantasy that a personal space could hold. my room could be full of my dreams, desires, inner truths. my room could let me live. as well, getting out of the house let me live. but being around the house like a willing participant in this home? didn’t happen.

the common spaces in my home were first and foremost:empty. and full of sadness. the kitchen, angry. the living room, stiff. the staircase and hallways, lonely. i chose to disengage and lived my life leaving the house or hiding in the house.

so a home, as a genuine community space, was foreign to me. to be “at home” escapes me now.

ever since i could leave, to live, i left. 

* * *

this weekend, i went to Davis. I saw the play my friends produced, The Bachelorette. it left me with a pounding migraine. this story sat me down, and i watched a group of people fester in their toxic habits. i witnessed the loop of damaged people damaging themselves further, all these hurt ass people summoning their addictions to ward off the change. i realized that this loop will take all of them to their grave unless someone snaps out of it. the violence of forsaking better choices. the addiction to self-denigration, and those who will self-harm with us.

i saw myself and my track record i saw myself and a part of my identity i've had trouble growing out of. i know i am growing out of it, but, it's ridiculously slow, and i'm frightened that there does exist something inside me that desires self-destruction. Self-harm.

Honesty, honesty, honesty What am i feeling, what am i doing, what am i feeding myself.. What am i sabotaging? Where am i stuck? The stakes….my dreams..my goals..my integrity. my character. my work ethic. Postgrad transitioning feelin sooooo fkng vulnerable to EVERYTHING RIGHT NOW. Everything i do, everyone i share time with, every decision i make or don’t make. it all feels so fking formative. i feel like an open wound

(-- from Oct 7, 2018)

A bout of insane nausea jumps me at an inconspicuously mundane hour yesterday. Everything in this moment feels so uncomfortable. my own bones. i think a dark hole found me. i feel rudely stretched. twisting just before the ripping point. and i'm afraid i won't snap back.

into the person i was. the person i've been. the version of me i know and have loved very well. It's this uninvited change vacating the parts i don't need, but may want.

Raw, pink flesh peeks through the crust. i am frantic for what anchors me, holds me down.

i want to vomit. i feel so sick. both in awe of my transforming and reviled by the inertia. if i could put my fingers down my throat, induce my own yack, beat my own intoxication, force myself sober. eject, like, spiritual barf... What's the way to do that IRL?

* * *

me: "did you see my thirst trap"

robin: *cringe*

me: (on instagram) look

robin: *nope*

me: except it's not for anyone, so it's not really a trap

robin: *changes topic*

kkkkkkeekekekekekekkekkekeke

I'm referencing a photo i took of myself during my bath. relaxed, alone, and in my vibes. when i'm loathe to disrupt my interior, but am in the mood to be seen. Like, literally sending a message to no one in particular. Because in such a moment, it's not so much about who sees you, but that you are decidedly visible. But only through your phone, with a photo, because the distance is nice. i can't be touched i can't be accessed in that dangerous puncturing way i'm much less vulnerable i am kind of hiding, kind of not? i am simulatenously revealing and concealing, in what seems to me a guarded celebration of this side of me that desires, performs, instigates. wishes to poke, prod, excite, stimulate.

I take and post plenty of selfies, Reveal myself My desire My signaling that I care to show this side of me, that I don’t care to be shy about certain sides of me, But with guard -- an arm's length distance that i could drop, or extend, in one second.

As you are protected too, you know, as we are when we gaze at the other through a lens. we get to brush past the other, and even really SEE THEM, without the level of consequence, and the weight of responsibility that exists in real life.

Kind of a dangerous practice isn’t it. Lol.

here's a picture of me for you to look at. not that you have to. not that you might. but if you will......

here's a picture of you i am looking at. not that i must. not that i will again. but since i am.........

* * *

i feel weak. and raw. funny enough, this may be the strongest i have ever been. i don't know what to do with myself. this is wilderness tempered by patience and injury. Lately my interior energy is feeling harsh, torrid, tempestuous. even for me. maybe that's why the nausea, the headaches. 

maybe it’s the kicking of a spoiled spirit. i hate denying myself familiar pleasures. i am uncomfortable because i am treating myself as fragile.

when we can feel how tender we are, the fresh cuts in our hearts, this must be the sign to protect ourselves. to be wary of yourself. especially if you have a history of self-harm.

it is necessary that we heighten our watchfulness over our actions and reactions and carry ourselves delicately, because we're in delicate times. Precarious.

What keeps me from what hurts me is my faith in my future.

It's honestly so disturbing, it rocks and writhes underneath my skin, my voracity for Chaos and Mess, my rabid latent aching for trouble.............

Fuck-ing-shit, i am trying to allow the fragility to lead. So what is small is empowered. To be small, and to take small steps, and to healthfully inch forward, when all you want to do is leap and crashhhhh a mile away from the nauseating place you're at right now.

There’s some relation here between my home life, healing, and resisting recklessness. i know i didn’t quite get there...  If there’s anything you’re stuck on: http://monolid-monologues.tumblr.com/submit

* * *

i’ve committed to being vulnerable in writing every week. 

previous letter: #10.) What’s so scary?

drop me a line

http://monolid-monologues.tumblr.com/ask

[drawlynnfaves]

goddd im so done even though the end of the semester is coming soon

one of my roommates (the one whos room is riiiight next to mine so i hear her loud music and yacking to her friends every single day and night of my life) is literally the worst and also treats me like crap. so like, here’s how it is. the other roommate, K, is nice to me and would try to chip in on occasion. Terrible roommate, S, has never, and has bought almost nothing ever that all 3 of us use.

Guess what I buy that she also uses? all hand soap, all paper towels, all paper plates, all napkins, all cleaner, all toilet paper (big one), scrub brush, dish soap, sponges, aluminum foil, sugar, etc. And I got a few dollars from K back for it and 0 from S. because we’re (I am) idiots and didnt properly set any rules or know how to confront each other now about chipping in and she buys nothing EVER. BUT ANYWAY

I literally dont do anything to encroach on anyones space, i keep spaces i use clean, I stay very quiet. I took out the big trash we all use every time except two (2) times this whole year we’ve lived together at this apartment, and took it out even when 90% of the trash was from S. 

I can’t sleep when I have to hear loud noise. I put up with all the noise S has made all last semester until on one of the LAST DAYS i finally texted her at 4 AM BECAUSE SHE KEPT ME UP ALL NIGHT like “im sorry, not to bother you but im trying to sleep and have to get up at 6 am tomorrow so can you please talk quieter? sorry.” and she finally shut up for once.... until this semester when i started sending texts every time shes kept me up, and now she ignores every single one, doesnt answer, and doesnt stop. ive worked up the courage to knock on the door to ask her to be quieter. she says okay, and doesnt stop. i wear earplugs and smush pillows over my head and nearly suffocate myself and sometimes can still hear her anyway. 

i literally do not ask for a fricking lot. but it does not end there. 

i dont care if people do weed, i think people can do whatever the frick they want with their lives, i really do, and honestly think its fine for people to do it. just not when its smoking in the contained space i have to live and breathe and sleep in for the day. i put up with it ALL SEMESTER wearing stuff over my face so i wouldnt have to gag on it while im trying to sleep. other roommate K also cant stand it but is more scared than me to ever say anything. My endless patience is wearing thin at this point so finally, after a very big incident of it where she had her hookah right out in the living room with 5 ppl over (btw we’re not allowed to have more than 2 guests, or do weed at all inside here or smoke anything) and smelling up the whole place as usual, i finally work up the courage to ask her “can you please not smoke it in this apartment? i really cant stand it (would have mentioned K but didnt want to speak for her) and it really smells up the whole apartment.” she looks at me warily and is like “...ok.”

she comes back in the living room and puts it back on even stronger. also THROWS A FIT to her friends, yelling “CANT WAIT TO MOVE THE FUCK OUT AND DO WHAT I WANT” bc i asked her to please not do it here.

 the next couple of days still does it. im so upset and get so close to calling the university-affiliated apartment ppl on her but never did, even when i tried to text her one time later that she ignored. she even did it today.

but it doesnt end there either

warning: NSFW topic ahead i guess if anyone reads this? also suicide mention (though nothing graphic just wanting to)

so i have to hear her have loud, loud sex. i have something wrong with me where if i have to hear actual people have sex and make noises from it i want to die and sob because im SO GROSSED OUT and cant take it and would rather be actually dead than hear it. she moans and grunts and gets spanked so loud my noise-blocking headphones dont even block it aqll out and i get so so upset. just had to go through that tonight too and had to curl up in a ball and cry bc theres nothing else i can do to cope. i just dont know what to do. every option feels like itll make things worse for me no matter what i do. 

and i would leave the apartment when this happens, but theres literally nowhere to go and its night and im in my pajamas and i have to sleep here. 

it also doesnt. end. there.

she heard me talking to my friend on the phone, trying to calm down after getting upset having to hear her have sex for the 4th time that day. she heard me telling my friend how i want to kill myself, how i hate myself, because i cant bring myself to do anything and face S about anything and im so upset. 

S later has a party this same night with like 8 people here, playing drinking games (youre not allowed to drink here but i wouldnt care if she wasnt a pain in the ass). she tells her friends about me, even though theyre all right outside my door so of course I hear. they all mock-say depressed phrases, like “oooh, i want to cut myself. oooh, i want to juuump.” and go on about how stupid white people are for being suicidal. i.. was mortified. and wanted to die more

i still dont do anything about any of this. if i called during any of the instances where she was drinking or smoking or doing anything in here she wouldve gotten kicked out of this apartment a long time ago.

it makes it even harder bc tonight wouldve been the last straw but she started having sex after smoking her weed and i didnt want to have the apartment ppl come and barge in on her having sex?? i cant knock on her door during that either so im like... idk 

I still do nothing after all this. i am such a coward.  the most i could do and just did was leave a note in response to one of HER many passive aggressive notes to us about keeping things clean (which is a whole nother one of her issues bc she herself keeps nothing clean) where, i was like “yea that dish wasnt from me. p.s. stop having sex so loud thanks.”

i heard her just now laugh and throw the note out and say something about me bc she fricking hates me

god i just want peace. i want to leave so bad. we only have a week left but idk how im going to make it with her. im about ready to freak out at her after all this built up all year but i dont think i will bc i know itll end with her just making things worse for me