#babymorocco

[eroshaven]

[fuckjazminez]

really hot

[karlnotgallagher]

i need babymorocco to create his tumblr profile, like i need him here.

[poloshrt]

[babymorocco]

blood all over my supras

When I got cut and my hand was bleeding out all over the stage in New York, and my set was cut short, I realized I was just this character I had invented. When I started bleeding, it reminded me of who I am inside. Like, I could see my insides physically bleeding out. Someone gave me a dirty flannel. Another person said I should use body glue. I don’t think anyone really gave a shit, to be honest.

When we got to the hospital and I was waiting for stitches, the nurse told me if it had been two inches deeper, the cut would have hit an artery, and I could have possibly died. I laughed it off and, in that instant, thought it was funny. When I was released from the hospital, I had no money in my bank account, blood all over my Supra shoes and jeans, wandering around Brooklyn soaked in blood. I hated myself. I hated how this stupid fucking Babymorocco character had ruined my life, and that if I had died because I was being him—performing on a sad little table that barely held me up—it would have really ruined my life.

I don’t really care if anyone reads this. I don’t even know if I’m okay anymore. I don’t feel like myself, but then I really don’t know what myself feels like anyway, so I don’t even know.

I’m so far away from who I was, or am.

In music, you’re so absolutely there, especially as a solo act. I am the sole version of Babymorocco; I can’t change him out and replace him while still keeping an original member. Even writing this post is so full of "I, I, I. Me, me, me." I can’t stand it anymore.

And it seems like a lot of people—or maybe most people, I don’t know how many—can’t take it either. They always tell you it’s a good thing, that even negative attention is good. I get that if I’d said or done anything that warranted it, but I seem to make people angry just by existing, without even doing anything vaguely offensive. I’ve been generally inoffensive all my life. But maybe that’s the problem.

In my life, I’ve tried to chase happiness, to choose what would make me happiest, but those choices have somehow led me to this dire consequence, where I am right now.

I feel so deeply unhappy—not to make it some cliché 14-year-old gay boy reading Sylvia Plath, but I feel like there’s a bell jar over me, or something holding me down. It’s like the imposter syndrome is proven right. I feel like such an imposter everywhere I go. I’m always reminded to stay humble while people walk all over me. People who are supposed to be my peers openly disrespect me, and it does hurt. All I’ve ever wanted was to create a space where people can have fun, be fun, do fun shit.

When I can, I’ll give this all up. I don’t want it anymore.

This is such a long post. Me, me, me.

It helps me to write, but I don’t know if I want this anymore. Truly. My head is in two places.

I’m happy to do my next record because I love it. I’ve spent so much time on it, and I want it out. But I don’t know about after that.

[trashdandytrash]

Bby

@babymorocco

[pamyuite]

[indigobruises]

Babymorocco via Instagram

[eroshaven]

[fuckjazminez]

need him so bad

[sunsney]

what is ur favorite bo song?!?1..11/2/12.1/1/1/1?

I have multiple. My favorites are Be Okay, Friend, love in a song, and bo ens remix of NRG! :)

[circummambient]

[bazpitch]

collabed n was on tour w jockstrap 🫡

[sonicwithar]

the things i would do to be held by this man…