#babycorn tried to be cool and cook food for everyone she liked but i think she just gave everyone food poisoning

[hqmillioncorn]

FFXIVWrite Day seven: Noisome

with @windupnamazu 's Lemon (and Lunya)

"Hey Lunya do you know where we keep the flowers?" Babycorn was hanging off the edge of a chair, stretching herself as far as she could in order to reach the cabinets high above her. "Babycorn?! What are you doing?!" Her voice sounded squeakier than usual. Probably because she was pinching her nose shut. "What did I tell you about using the kitchen by yourself...?" Babycorn was confused. "But I'm not by myself! Cherrypits right here!" She pointed down and sure enough there was Cherrypit wearing an oversized chef's hat. Lunya sighed, her patience truly unending. At least the mystery of why the mansion smelled so bad was solved.

It was early in the morning when Lemon was roused from his sleep by the most obnoxious smell he had ever smelled in his entire life. 

It only took a few seconds for the smell to completely take over Lemon’s room. “AUugghH!!!!” Lemon grabbed his extra pillow in the shape of a cactuar and flew to cover his face with it, but even that wasn’t enough to cover up the mysterious stench. 

Though the stench was foul and the idea of something smelling that bad even worse, Lemon knew he couldn’t just idly sit by and let something really stinky be inside their house!

He needed to be brave! Just like his mama and papa! 

Lemon maneuvered himself under his blankets and let out a scared whimper. The smell was getting worse but Lemon decided that instead of taking his pillow as protection he would take his stuffed tonberry. 

With his blanket covering him and him holding the stuffed tonberry to his face, surely he would be protected from whatever stinky things would be out there.

Lemon carefully hopped off his bed and tip-toed to the door. Just before leaving his room he turned to check on Blueberry, who was still fast asleep in his own little bed. Blueberry was still fast asleep. Lemon had to admit, he was a little jealous he could sleep through this.

“I’ll be back soon Blueberry. Okay?” he whispered as quietly as he could. Blueberry gave no indication that he had heard Lemon. “Okay. I love you. Bye-bye…!” Lemon whispered again as he closed the door to his room as quietly as he could. 

As soon as the door closed,Lemon pulled his blanket entirely over him. The smell was even WORSE outside his room! “AUugugghhhhhUWayuwa….” Lemon’s voice was muffled under his heavy blanket. He maneuvered one of his small viera ears outside the blanket to see if he could hear anything out of the ordinary.

While he could have just looked with his eyes, he absolutely refused to let any part of his face outside of the safety of his blanket in fear of being met with more stinkyness. 

When he decided that the coast was clear Lemon set forth at a very slow pace to where he guessed was coming from. Unfortunately this did mean he actually had to smell whatever it was that had invaded their home. 

“Ewwww….” 

Lemon knew he was heading in the right direction when the smell was getting even worse. 

As his blanket trailed behind him, Lemon found himself making his way to the kitchen. Where the smell was almost unbearable. To his surprise, the kitchen lights were on. “Papa? Is that you?” That was weird. His papa didn’t usually start making breakfast before the sun came out. 

Lemon stepped forward to investigate more and caught his foot on his blanket. “AUKC?!” he tripped forward and fell flat on his face, which thankfully had a soft landing thanks to the stuffed tonberry.  

“Lem!?” 

Lemon heard a gasp and then a set of scuttering footsteps coming towards him. 

A hand grabbed his blanket and lifted it up from him. The next thing Lemon knew, he was face to face with his older sister. “Lems? What are you doing out here? Shouldn’t you be asleep?” Patti grabbed her younger brother underneath his arms and stood him up. 

“I woke up!” Lemon explained. 

“Well then un-wake up! You got school tomorrow!” Patti took the blanket she had just removed off of Lemon back onto him, making sure to mind his ears. “If you don’t get enough sleep you’re gonna fall asleep in class and miss everything!”

“Bold words coming from someone who also has school tomorrow. Don’t you think so, Patticake Starsinger-Moontide.” 

At the sound of her tio’s voice Patti froze. “G-Good morning tío Cherry…” She tried to say as cooly as she could.

Lemon looked around. Sure enough, standing at the doorway was their tío Cherry. Which was a little strange. Lemon was sure that no one else had been in the hallway except for him. And also his blanket and his stuffed tonberry.

“That’s because I was walking on the ceiling Lems.” Cherrypit explained, pointing up. 

“Ooooh!” Lemon understood everything now. “Hi tío Cherry!” he said with a small wave.

“Hi Lemon. Hi Patti.” Cherrypit waved back. 

Right at that moment in time another wave of smelliness hit the kitchen and everywhere surrounding it. Cherrypit and Lemon couldn’t cover their noses fast enough. Then by sheer coincidence, a mysterious pot on the stove began to bubble over. 

“WaH!” Patti turned on her heel and ran back, picking up a step stool that had been previously next to the sink and moving it to the stove. With a spoon in her hand she began to stir whatever nameless monstrosity was inside the cooking pot. “Phew! It’s still good!” Ironically the stirring was making the smell even worse. 

Patti took a small spoonful from her creation and put it up to her mouth for a taste test. It was clear from her disgusted expression that whatever was in there tasted about as good as it smelled. 

Which was not good at all.

Patti was silent for a bit before speaking up again. “...I think it needs more salt.” 

“What it needs is for someone to put it out of its misery.” 

Patti gasped, “Tío Cherry!!! Be nice!!!” 

Lemon watched in horror as he noticed that inside the pot was a whole fish head. It then bobbed down deeper into the pot, disappearing from view. “Patti? What are you making?” Papa would never put Patti in charge of making breakfast. That was almost as bad as mama making breakfast.

He wouldn’t have to eat this would he?!?!

“Heh-Heh! I’m glad you asked Lems!” Patti spun the wooden spoon in her hand with a smirk. “I’m making a soup! For mama and papa!”

“Are you trying to kill them or something?” 

“TIO CHERRY!!!” 

“Right, right. Sorry, sorry.” Cherrypit apologized. Though it was clear from his snickering he wasn’t that sorry at all. Lemon was just relieved that Patti was actually not going to kill mama and papa. 

“Today is mama and papa’s anniversary!” Patti began to explain, “So I’m making them a special soup as a present because I’m the best daughter ever and they love me!!” The pot behind Patti started to bubble and hurgle again. Which Patti put a stop to with a swift smack of her spoon.

Cherrypit sighed, a smile on his face. “They do love you a lot…but…” While he was more than sure that Babycorn would probably eat Patti’s ‘soup’ without any problem, he wasn’t too sure that Butter would either. 

….Actually, he probably would. But not without having sludge come out of his mouth and ears just like so many years ago when he ate Babycorn’s cooking without a care in the world.

Lemon and Cherrypit exchanged a pair of looks. It was pretty clear (even without any mind reading powers) that both of them had come to the same conclusion. It was also pretty clear that both of them were worried that when it came to leftovers it would fall to them to also eat some of Patti’s ‘soup.’ 

And while both of them loved Patti, neither of them were willing to do that.

“Can I help?” Lemon raised his hand in the air and waved it around. He didn’t wait for an answer from his sister before throwing his blanket off and running closer to the stove. “Papa has been teaching me to cook too! I can help too!” There was no step stool for Lemon to stand on so he was trying his best to peck over the counter, hanging off it while kicking his legs.

“Course’ you can help Lems!!” Patti would have gladly asked for her little brother’s help beforehand but had chosen against it since it was so early in the morning. 

She leaned in closer to him, “Truth be told I kinda need help…” Patti had received cooking lessons from both Butter and Cherrypit too but she did have the tendency to panic and turn to rely on instincts on what to do next in the recipe. Which is how her soup had turned out as it had. 

“I can help!” Lemon nodded, “Let’s make the best soup ever!!”

“For sure!” 

Cherrypit sat down on the kitchen table, watching as the siblings tried to maneuver themselves so they could stand on the same step stool. Standing next to each other, they couldn’t help but almost push the other off.

‘Go ahead Cherry! Go for it!’

‘Stir! Stir!’

‘Wow! You’re like the best stirrer ever! I’ll just stand behind you and watch!’

‘Bebe right here!!’

“...Patti, Lemon? Why don’t you try standing with Patti in the back and Lemon in the front?” 

The Starsinger-Moontide siblings looked at Cherrypit like he was a genius. In no time at all they had moved into those exact positions. “Yeah this works!!” Patti looked down at her little brother, “Does this work for you Lems?” 

Lemon gave her a happy “Mhhmm!!” 

“Thanks tío Cherry!!” Both siblings thanked Cherrypit in unison. 

Cherrypit smiled, “Good job you two!” Surely if they needed any more of their help they would ask for it. For now, Cherrypit would just watch over them, just in case they did need help but didn’t want to ask for it. Hopefully he wouldn’t just fall asleep or anything.

There was a small explosion in front of him. 

“Oh no! Patti, don't do that!!”

“AUAUUAUWAUHhhhhhhAUU!!!”

…Or maybe he wouldn’t even get the opportunity to go to sleep.

In the end, Patti’s soup proved to be unsalvageable.

Instead, Cherrypit had suggested the idea of making pancakes and waffles instead.

So that was exactly what Patti and Lemon decided to do. Pancakes for their mama and waffles for their papa! With a bunch of fruit that Cherrypit took upon himself to cut because while he trusted his nephew and niece with his life, he was not letting them near anything even resembling a knife. 

Patti looked over their handiwork and let out a cheer. “Yeah!! We did it! We’re the best!” She looked over at the clock, it was just a little past seven. “And we did it before papa and mama woke up!! Ha ha!!” 

Cherrypit yawned, “Good job…” He hoped that for some reason Babycorn and Butter would decide to sleep in today. If anything just to give him some time to sleep, even if it was only for an hour. 

Lemon cheered alongside his sister, “We did it! We did it!” 

Then he let out a gasp. “Wait-!” Before anyone could stop him, he had run over to the fridge and had started looking around for something only he knew he was looking for. 

“What’re you doing over there, Lems?” Patti asked, trying to peek over his shoulder. Which was not a very hard thing to do in actuality. 

“I’m looking for…Ah-ha!” Whatever it was that he was looking for he managed to find by the sound of it. 

“Can we add this?” In Lemon’s hands was a jar of freshly caught shrimp, “I think mama and papa would like it on their food!” It made sense. Both mama and papa really liked eating shrimp and if they put it on their pancakes and waffles they would like it even more!! 

Patti and Cherrypit looked at each other, nervously.