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cooper--jones · 6 years ago

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when i was drowning (that’s when i could finally breathe)

After her relationship with Archie ends in shambles, it takes the perfect storm to wash away Betty’s past.

A/N: @lgbt-representation-is-beautiful (ari) is an incredible beta and deserves 100% credit for the last line :’) @babycoop (lea) made the gorgeous aesthetic for this and I’m in love omg!! I wrote this between 1am and 5am while listening to Clean by Taylor Swift (which is incidentally what inspired this). I hope you like it! Word Count: 4k+ ff.net

The relationship began splintering when Archie left for Europe to study music. Betty, his girlfriend at the time, and him shared a tearful goodbye at the airport. Well, Betty cried. Archie was already making a mental list of everything he was going to do in Europe. But he was the ever-dutiful boyfriend and gave her a long and gentle kiss. He gave Jughead and Veronica a hug each and, giving Betty another kiss, left. He promised to write.

But promises were just words. And words were as fleeting as the amount of time it took for them to leave the lips. Veronica left soon after Archie – another painful goodbye Betty had to endure. Through it all Jughead stayed with her. They were taking a break before university and were going to intern together at the Register to build their resume. And, through both goodbyes, Jughead had held her; helped her pull herself together.

For two months, Archie and Betty wrote diligently to each other. After two months, Betty wrote diligently, Archie wrote back less. What had earlier been a 1:1 ratio now turned into a 5:1 ratio. She told Jughead about it and he told her she was reading too much into it (ironic since, in her mind, she wasn't reading nearly enough). She decided to text him instead and attempted casual conversation. But Archie had become strange and snappy, constantly ending conversations abruptly or leaving her on read. Betty didn't care for either option but she decided not to say anything. It came out one day in an outburst to Jughead while they organised articles by date of publication. She ended up crying into his chest as he held her.

The next day she got a string of messages from her boyfriend, alternating between screenshots and text, angry and scolding her for confiding in her friend. Betty was hurt and didn't understand why he was acting this way. But she didn't say anything to Jughead, instead giving him a faux smile and replying with “I'm fine” every time he asked if she was okay. He once asked her if she had spoken to Archie and, after deliberating on how to respond, she finally threw a yes over her shoulder in his direction. He seemed unconvinced but didn't push the matter. They went for milkshakes to Pop's after and somehow, between Jughead's bizarre south side stories and the interest he had in her life now that Archie and Veronica were gone, she forgot entirely about Archie for three hours.

At home, she noticed she had a message from Veronica on Instagram. Opening it, she saw Veronica had sent her Cheryl's story. Opening the picture, she saw it was a picture of her and Jughead at the booth in Pop's, captioned @archandrews look out lmao and her eyes widened before she consoled herself that Archie would never assume she were cheating on him with his best friend of all people. But then Veronica's message was one of complete shock, as if she believed what Betty had thought no one would ever assume about her.

B, what the hell?

There's nothing going on there, V. Jug and I just decided to go to Pop's after work. How were we supposed to know Cheryl would be documenting everything.

She left it at that. As far as she was concerned, she had done her part. If Veronica insisted on not believing, she didn't think she would be able to change her mind. Instead she decided to flick through stories. She went through Veronica's, Jughead's (which was a video of her trying to reach a top shelf file while he laughed at her instead of helping), Cheryl's (again), and finally came to Archie's, which had been updated while she was looking at the others'.

He seemed to be having fun: his was filled with selfies – nearly all of them with girls. And there was a certain girl who figured in all of them. Months later, Betty would wonder why she was genuinely surprised when she reached the last picture and saw them kissing.

Her held it so it wouldn't disappear from view and stared at it. She then saw a tiny bit of text in one corner @cherylbombshell don't need to. She was too shocked to even cry. Some part of her hoped that if she stared at it long enough it would change and become just another selfie. Instead her phone pinged with the first message – Veronica again.

I'm so sorry, B.

It was only then that the reality sunk in. Slowly tears crept into her eyes as she tapped on his story again, looking at the picture again, trying to see if it had changed. The second time hit her with much more impact and the first sob left her lips. Her phone pinged with a message from Cheryl.

Betty, that was disgusting. I'm so sorry, I didn't realise he would react like that. Ew. Anyway, I'm sorry and if there's anything you need please lmk.

Betty's hands were shaking and she could barely read her shaking screen through her blurred vision. She gnashed her teeth together to prevent sound – she didn't need her mother coming into her room with her condescending pity, served with a side of “told you so”. She let her phone drop onto her bed and fought the sobs, balling her hands into fists and feeling her nails dig into her palms. No matter how short she cut them, they always seemed to successfully draw blood.

A knock on her window made her jump and, with red eyes and nose, she looked at the window: Jughead. The look of concern was evident on his face. She opened the window to let him climb in but quickly sat back down – she wasn't sure her legs could take her weight in that moment. The second he had shut the window behind him, he began venting.

“What the fuck is wrong with that boy? What, the rules don't apply overseas or something? What kind of asshole pulls something like that? Was he too much of a fucking coward to actually call it off officially? Did he have to post a fucking selfie of him making out with someone else? Actually, you know what? The answer to that is a giant no! He did not need to do that to you. Absolutely not. And--” he only then seemed to notice that she was sitting there, crying -- “oh my god, I'm so sorry, Betty!” In an instant he was beside her, pulling her into his arms. “I'm this mad, I can't even imagine what you must be feeling!” She didn't trust herself to speak so she simply nodded. He pulled away from her, looking at her with an intensity she had never seen him display. “Do you need anything?”

“I don't want to be alone,” she replied and his brow creased for a moment before he relaxed and nodded, going backwards so they were leaning against her headboard. He held her in silence, until her breathing evened and she was too exhausted to cry anymore. “I hate him,” she whispered into the crook of Jughead's neck. The boy beside her nodded.

“So do I. You should get some sleep,” he said, getting ready to move away from her but her grip over his midriff tightened and she pulled the blanket up over them. So he continued laying there, rubbing her arm to comfort her. The rhythm of his hand over her arm made Betty's eyelids droop and slowly she drifted off to sleep. Right before slipping into unconsciousness, she felt him kiss her temple and, in spite of the night's events, she managed a small smile before falling into a dreamless slumber.

Betty had never had a hangover but she couldn't imagine it would be worse than the headache and puffy eyes she had the next morning. When she woke up, Jughead's arms were still wrapped around her and he was asleep. She just watched his face, absorbing the peace he was in. On the nightstand, her phone buzzed, bringing her out of her thoughts.

Archie.

And, just like that, the tears were back. With a tremble in her hands and an even greater tremble in her voice, she slowly picked up, cleared her throat and said, “Hello?”

“Betty?” His voice was too familiar considering what a different person he had become. It pained her. “Listen, I was just calling to say that I'm sorry you had to find out this. But, let's be real, it wasn't working between us. We stopped clicking a while ago. Before I left, actually. Leaving only solidified whatever it was that wasn't happening for us. I'm sorry but it's okay, right? You have Jughead.” The second she heard the words, Betty felt rage replace sadness. No, not rage, hatred. Pure, unadulterated hatred. Hatred that was a brilliant hue of red which blinded her. Her free hand clenched into a fist again to stop itself from shaking. This time her voice trembled with a different emotion.

“You thought I cheated on you?” She asked softly. Dangerously. A hand intertwined with her clenched one, separating the nails from her palm. She glanced behind at Jughead, feeling a surge of gratitude in spite of her anger.

“Well, Cheryl's--”

“Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise Cheryl Blossom was my fucking PR team! I didn't realise that everything she posted was completely true. Also, she never said I cheated on you. She made a joke. A fucking joke, Archie. She certainly wasn't ok-ing your desire to stick your tongue down the throat of someone who wasn't in a relationship with you. Also, if you were so sure our relationship was dying, why didn't you break up with me before leaving? You know, like a good, honest person would have? Or was that too difficult for poor, little Archibald? Jughead was right – you are a fucking coward.” She spat the last two words with as much venom as she could muster.

“Wait, Jughead's there?” Was his first response. Betty didn't know whether to laugh or to throw something. She heard Jughead do a sharp intake of breath behind her and realised her grip had been too strong. Quickly she loosened, giving him an apologetic look.

“If that's the first thing you think of after everything I said...” she trailed off, giving a laugh of disbelief. She had never imagined that she would be in this position. And she had definitely never imagined it would be with Archie – the boy she had long ago decided was the love of her life. “You know what, Archie? Just enjoy your time there, okay? Don't call me or write to me. And, when you come back for vacation, don't bother asking me to meet up.”

“Betty--”

“Bye,” she hung up and threw her phone onto the bed, as far away from her. The conversation ended and her legs, which had held her up thanks to pure adrenaline, buckled under her. She didn't see him move but somehow Jughead was on the ground, breaking her fall and preventing her from hurting herself. She knew that she wouldn't have hurt herself – the carpet was thick enough – but she decided not to mention it. Instead they sat on the ground in silence and she noticed him watching her as if she were a ticking time bomb. She gave a wry chuckle. “I'm not going to explode, don't worry.”

“He doesn't deserve someone as incredible as you,” Jughead replied and, although it sounded like a standard compliment, the amount of emotion he injected into it made Betty's heart warm. She nodded, telling him she agreed with him. They stayed on the ground for a few minutes more and then Alice knocked on the bedroom door, calling for Betty, telling her she was leaving for work. Betty shouted back in acknowledgement. Once Alice's heels had clicked away, Jughead took his leave and, with great reluctance, Betty let him go.

Betty didn't know how to not be in love with Archie. She had liked him for so long now that it was inconceivable to her that she could have a different emotion towards him. This meant that, when Archie returned for break, old feelings suddenly flared up. She hated it but she got butterflies when she saw him and wished he would say something to her. However, when he tried, reason kicked in and she would excuse herself from the scene. Everyone in town knew about their situation at this point and most sided with Betty. Pop charged Archie normal rates for the burgers while giving Betty a discount (which meant Jughead often tagged along); Veronica had a Christmas party and, although she invited Archie, made sure he felt unwelcome; Cheryl was a bitch to Archie whenever she could be; Toni followed her girlfriend's example; Kevin didn't compliment Archie's physique once; even Fred (at whose house Alice had turned up with the news of the relationship ending) seemed permanently disappointed in Archie Andrews.

So, when Spring Break rolled around, news spread that Archie was not returning. Although the official reason was that he was going to go out with some friends so he could bond better, everyone knew the reason.

Through all this, Betty remained very confused about her emotions. Not to mention, now that Archie was gone, she had more time to herself and she chose to spend most of that time with Jughead. They were applying to the same universities for journalism so they spent most of their time in the library, working on their resumes and application forms. Betty found herself looking forward to these library sessions more than she had ever looked forward to a date with Archie. It was odd – every session was the same and yet they managed to have a different conversation every time, keeping them interesting.

Betty wasn't sure when the switch flipped but, a few months later, she found herself constantly glancing at Jughead's lips, wondering what they felt like, what he tasted like.

It scared her. And when Betty wasn't completely sure of something, she didn't act on it. Therefore, although, by the time they were ready to leave, Betty wanted to kiss him once, more than anything, she simply hugged him before leaving for university. She lingered a moment longer than she had intended, her eyes wet.

“I promise I'll keep in touch,” he whispered to her and she nodded, hearing Archie's voice in her head, saying the exact same thing. She had believed him back then and reminded herself not to make the same mistake twice. This, Betty was realising, was the problem – everywhere she thought of doing anything with Jughead, Archie's smug smile and distant eyes popped back into her head. To top it off, she wasn't sure if Jughead liked her and, if her feelings weren't reciprocated, she wasn't sure she would ever be able to open herself up again.

Jughead kept his promise.

Every other day they would FaceTime and, when they weren't talking, they were texting. Betty heard the rumours of her mystery boyfriend circulate in her class and smiled to herself, not bothering to correct them. One weekend, Veronica flew out to meet her and Betty told her about the FaceTiming and everything that had been plaguing her. Veronica's brow furrowed for a while and, when Betty finally prompted her for her advice, she gave it.

“Betty, you need to let Archie go.” That wasn't what Betty expected. With a confused smile and cocking her head to one side, she questioned her best friend.

“What do you mean? I'm over him.” But, as she said it, she knew it was a lie. The fact that she thought about him and still felt a pang in her heart was evidence enough.

“No you aren't. But I also think you might be in love with Jughead,” said Veronica, once again to Betty's surprise. She knew there was an attraction but she had never used the word “love” in her musings about what could be if she were romantically involved with Jughead.

“Veronica that's ridiculous. I'm not in love with Jughead. I may like him but I'm not in love with him,” she said, rolling her eyes for extra effect. Veronica studied her for a moment.

“Be that as it may, he is definitely in love with you. Has been nearly as long as you've been in love with Archie, actually,” she replied with a shrug. Betty's eyes bulged at this information.

“Did he tell you that?”

“Didn't have to,” Veronica waggled her eyebrows, taking a fry and biting into it to add dramatic flair. “Come on, Betty. We all know you're terrible at knowing whether or not someone likes you. Remember Trev Brown? Or, even better, that odd time when Reggie had a thing for you? I mean you guys went out like five times and you still accused him of assaulting you when he tried to kiss you.”

“I wasn't expecting it!”

“I'm not saying he shouldn't have asked first; I'm just saying it was kinda obvious to everyone except you. So I'm not surprised that you couldn't tell Jughead was in love with you. But anyway, so what are you going to do about the situation?” She asked and Betty shrugged, having no response. Veronica laughed at this and, considering the matter closely, proceeded to tell her about how her education was going.

Betty's mind wandered while Veronica spoke, going back to the last few months. If Veronica was right and what she felt was, in fact, love (and, as much as she wished her best friend was wrong, a nagging sensation told her otherwise), she must have been entirely mistaken about what she felt toward Archie. After all, with Archie, the way she acted was dictated by a sense of duty she felt about what being the perfect girlfriend entailed. With Jughead it was different – he didn't expect anything more than what she gave and she reciprocated. On top of that, unlike Archie who had never noticed the crescents on her palms, Jughead had held her hand to stop her from defining them further.

And that was information she hadn't shared with anyone.

Maybe there is a possibility... she decided to focus on what Veronica was saying.

Jughead was there to welcome her at the airport when she came back for Christmas. It was not a white Christmas. Instead, it was pouring when Betty returned. Riverdale was grey and wet and yet welcoming. She all but ran into Jughead's arms, pulling him into a tight embrace.

“I missed you,” his voice was muffled by her hair and she smiled, tightening her grip in response, never wanting to let go. “Okay,” he said after a near half-minute, pulling away much to Betty's dismay, “should I take your bags?”

“You can take two. I'll carry the other two,” she replied and he nodded.

“Division of labour. How very efficient,” he smirked and she chuckled, following him to his truck. Putting the bags into the back, she got into the front beside him, looking at him and taking him in. He noticed this and gave her a curious smile. “What?”

“Nothing. I just... I really missed this. I really missed you,” she hoped he could hear her sincerity. His blush seemed to indicate his comprehension and he nodded, clearing his throat awkwardly before starting the engine and driving her to her place.

The Lodge Lodge was where they were spending New Years Eve. Veronica had brought about ten other people to her place but, somehow, by the time they were nearing midnight, Betty and Jughead were the only ones in the common area. It was pouring outside so Betty was starting wonder where the rest were. She knew there was probably someone passed out in one bathroom and four people had disappeared doing activities Betty didn't particularly want to think about. But that just accounted for five people, so where were the rest? Then she remembered that before Veronica had left to get more chips and dip, she had winked at Betty and said, “Good luck.” Betty hadn't understood what it meant at the time but now, looking at Jughead, she understood exactly what Veronica had meant.

“So, when do you go back?” Jughead attempted small talk – it wasn't his strong suit but she smiled, appreciating the effort.

“The third. University restarts on the fourth,” she replied. “I wonder where those people are. Did four people really need to go to get groceries?” She said incredulously and he chuckled.

“Maybe they got lost. Do you think we should look for them?”

“In that storm? You're crazy if you think I'll ever go out there,” he scoffed and she gave a sly smile. Instantly a look of caution crossed his face. “Betty Cooper, don't you dare--” but she was already outside. It was a terrible idea the moment she was standing in the rain. It was freezing in the rain but, for some odd reason, she absolutely loved it.

“You're going to need to come out here if you're going to kiss me in the next ten minutes,” she shouted to Jughead, who was standing on the porch, eyeing the rain in great distaste. When she said that, his head jerked up and he stared at her wide-eyed as if asking how she knew.

“I wasn't aware we had such an agreement,” he shouted back, the sky rumbling with thunder as the wind picked up speech, sending shivers all over Betty's now-soaking person.

“It'll be midnight in ten minutes and we seem to be the only two people here,” she said and for a moment she thought relief crossed his features. But then his guard rose again.

“I don't believe in New Years traditions. They're redundant and don't mean anything!” He called back and Betty laughed.

“Your loss, Jughead Jones,” she twirled again and, to test a theory, ran toward the woods. She heard someone swear loudly behind and turned around to find Jughead standing a few feet from the porch, already drenched, his shirt sticking to him deliciously. Betty was simply delighted that it had worked. Her smile faltered when she noticed how he was looking at her: he looked actually mad. “Jug, um, I'm sorry, I--”

“Oh no, Betty, apologies aren't going to cut it. If I'm going to be freezing in this thin white shirt, I'm going to need you to be in a similar state. Take off the jacket; I know you're wearing a white t-shirt under it,” he smirked and Betty's eyes widened momentarily at this proposition before she complied, taking off the jacket. He laughed when she did and then went up to her. To her surprise, he picked her up and spun her around, although she suspected it was to get her t-shirt properly wet. Still, she never wanted to leave his arms. Almost as soon as she had that thought, he lowered her, to her dismay.

“What was that for?” He shrugged in response.

“Did you like it?”

“It wasn't the worst.”

“I'll take that compliment.”

“You know, when Veronica said she was calling you over, I assumed that you would say no,” Betty admitted something that had been on her mind since they had arrived. Jughead smiled, nodding with understanding.

“I would have, under normal circumstances,” he admitted, gazing into her eyes with the familiar intensity she had come to associate with him. In that moment, Betty didn't know how it happened or why it happened, and it hit her, while moments like this often brought up memories of Archie, for the first time in so long, he didn't even cross Betty's mind. All she could think about was how he used normal to explain why this was anything but.

The cold made her hyper aware of everything.

And yet she never saw him lean him. One moment they were looking at each other and the next his lips were on hers and he was kissing her. He pulled away when she didn't respond immediately and looked instantly guilty.

“Betty I'm so sor--” she placed her hands on his cheeks and, pulling him towards her, kissed him hard. She felt him relax under her palms and his own hands warm her by cupping her face. Standing in the rain, kissing the boy she was undeniably in love with made Betty feel lighter than she had in months. In spite of the intense cold they were standing in, she felt warm and comfortable. She felt revived. And, when they broke apart, despite her breathlessness, she felt like she could finally breathe. She was so giddy that she couldn’t help but laugh.

"Has anyone ever told you that you apologise way too much for a self-prescribed loner weirdo?"

#bughead #bughead ff #bughead fanfic #bughead fanfiction #riverdale #riverdale ff #riverdale fanfic #riverdale fanfiction #betty cooper #jughead jones #rahel writes things #its been so long since i've written a one shot #and finally there was inspiration thanks to my lord and saviour taylor

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