#baby shoe never worn

[daftpatience]

this might be a sort of mundane video but it's really rare for baby shoe to stay so long for cuddles 🥺

[groose]

just found out the girl from my english class who structured a class debate on “for sale: baby shoes, never worn” with the viewpoint that assuming it was sad because the baby had died was jumping to conclusions and it could have been multiple other reasons the baby never wore the shoes, such as having really big feet for a baby, the baby not suiting the colour, or simply that they were an unwanted baby shower gift, is now a really successful lawyer. which, you know. good for her.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

Refunds are not typically provided for food that a guest simply doesn't like

[omnybus]

The Shortest Tragedy

Originally posted on my Patreon.

With apologies to Ernest Hemingway

[stereax]

[ruusverd]

Congratulations to the least amount of effort I have ever seen put into persuading customers that a sandwich is worth $10.

Sir you just took that out of some school kid's lunch, clingwrap and all. Didn't even give it a fancy name or pretend it's made with all-natural ingredients straight from the dawn of time or anything. It's just a plain white bread tuna salad sandwich. In cling wrap.

[im-out-of-mana]

Haunted by this maid outfit I found on FB that has absolutely been fucked in Once

[neurotypical-sonic]

How do you think Amy would react to Baby Sonic?

she would immediately want to buy him some of those really cute baby shoes and tails would go "you know he would destroy them in two seconds flat, right? you know if he runs in them, they'd burst into flames right?"

and she'd go "oh :( yeah you're right" and sulk about it for the rest of the day

[swiftiesforpeeta]

‘suguru have you lost weight’ is the most devastating line ever written

[gerardpilled]

[daftpatience]

the graceful snoozer

[barthel]

Someone on the local Buy Nothing group is giving away the following two books…

…and I would propose to you that this is the mathematical inverse of “For sale: baby shoes, never worn”

[shortstorytournament]

Short Story Tournament

FOR SALE: BABY SHOES, NEVER WORN by unknown, often attributed to Hemingway (early 1900s)

For sale: baby shoes, never worn.

THE FINAL PROBLEM by Arthur Conan Doyle (1893) (link) - tw: death

It is with a heavy heart that I take up my pen to write these the last words in which I shall ever record the singular gifts by which my friend Mr. Sherlock Holmes was distinguished.

[jrwiyuri]

Lost quackcicle reconciliation stream.

[fadedlovemp3]

abandoned full size vaseline under chair at the airport. eat your heart out hemingway

[starfleetshrimps]

yeah my baby's feet were like super fat. yeah i made an ad in the paper to sell the shoes i bought for it because they couldn't fit over my baby's fat fucking toes. what do you mean tragic? no the kids fine he's just got some stompers on him...short story? no i don't know who ernest hemingway is what the fuck