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girlgainsbourger · 7 years ago

Text

Hold on fast to living

New to this (again). I’ve been apprehensive to start a new outlet because my writing and creative skills are slowly diminishing (with age) and my life is pretty mediocre these days. Plus there’s this whole “starting anew/ clean slate” feeling that’s terrifying because my obsessive-compulsive mind is too afraid to miss out the smallest detail so I’d rather not document anything esp on my journal since I fear committing mistakes the most and that prevents me from doing anything. Marc Johns once shared that he makes his own journals (as in he binds them himself) so he doesn’t feel regretful of whatever he had written and Emma Watson said someone told her that there’s nothing more intimidating than a blank canvas, which is true. Sometimes that’s what makes me give up writing and/or doing things altogether. On the other hand, not being able to chronicle my thoughts, inspirations, discoveries and misadventures makes me sad. I don’t remember any of the mundane things I laughed at during the Christmas season which was one of the best moments of my life. I’m starting to forget what happened when I threw my boyfriend (I call him Johnny online) his very first prom. I don’t have a list of songs that changed my life in 2016 so I don’t know where to send my thank you notes to. Now (well not exactly now, it has become a recurring thought) I realized that I’m writing for myself, so writing bad entries is ok and shouldn’t feel like homework. That it’s far more important that I remember certain periods, feelings or strange magic (as I, my sister and our homie, Tavi like to call it) rather than worrying whether I sound fancy or intellectual (something I won’t ever be anyway cos I’m always grammatically incorrect). That I should keep writing despite the normality of my life because that's the only way I'll get better at writing, plus whoelse is going to log all the times I rewatch Roswell? That I should stop writing as if I’m writing for an audience and just be completely honest with myself because this is my space. That it’s ok to allow myself to write bad, cringey poetry because I can see myself develop from it and at least I have something to look back on and laugh at in the future. I realized that if I didn’t write, or try to, I wouldn’t be able to encapsulate important adulting moments, silly conversations, filmy feelings, sartorial choices, bathroom epiphanies, etc. I realized that in order for me to let of of the perpetual fear/ anxiety of creating/ writing something, I should just describe things as I see them. Less is more and just being sincere and honest about the things I write about often leads to a product of inspiring and inspired writing.

There are so many things I regret not being able to write about because I was either too lazy or too “in the moment and now it’s too late to write about it cos time has passed”. So here’s a list of some 2016-2017 things I can write from memory:

- Sitting on the curb outside 7/11 with my sister Hanna after an outdoor movie (it was Matilda), listening to Crowded House’s Don’t Dream It’s Over on loudspeaker

- The electric feel of meeting Johnny for the first time after months of unbearable yearning, like the by way of the green line bus scene on the Royal Tenenbaums. How gawky it was. How unadulterated it was. Thinking about it today, from this gradual mediocrity, still makes me cry.

- Watching Gainsbourg: vie heroïque again after the last time (2011?) and regaining my fondness for Klimt, Baudelaire and Aznavour, knowing the difference between Rimbaud and Molière and how the scene with Yolanda Moreau, underrated French actress btw, made me emotional. I paused the film, listened to Fréhel for a while, and tears started rolling down like end credits. The world, c’est si bon.

- Reading Toast on the bus ride home one night and The Hottest State in a local cafe, looking up from time to time in hopes that someone would find me as interesting as Sarah. But there’s always no one there.

- I remember getting on a bus cos I was leaving for school in a town 7 hours away from my home. My dad just got off after helping me get settled and I started crying. A few seconds later, he climbed back up cos I left my hat and he sees me a wreck so he sat beside me for a few minutes, sharing a sad-comfortable silence.

- Discussing ideas and the future with my cousin Lowil over mac n cheese. I told him I just want to make art for a living but I seem to have forgotten how. That when I try to make something, it’s always crap and since I feel like I have a good critical eye and can easily tell good from bad, I figured my feelings about my own work must be true. He then replied that it’s just overwhelming feelings of self-doubt and that I just have to keep practicing and eventually the persistence will pay off.

- Breakfast with my family in our garden, feeling like a scene from Vicky Christina Barcelona or Tortilla Soup or that life pondering conversation lunch scene from Before Midnight. Everything was fresh like a citrus fruit.

- My friendship with Aida leveled up when we started opening up to each other about our depression and finding peace in each other’s consolation

- Virtually watched the Gilmore Girls reboot with Aida and I remembered most of it was disappointment (what was up with that 20-minute musical scene that felt like 14 hours) and the next day, we watched the last episode, Fall, and Reflecting Light started playing and it’s as if Aida’s hand reached out of the screen, grabbing mine and things were better for a while. This is our life, and if everything else crumbles, at least we have this.

- Crying at a club whilst I was dancing with Rosie on her last night in the country because I don’t want this but I’ll miss her

- Dancing to Neil Young’s Harvest Moon with Carlo was bewitching. A lilting reminder that despite the persistent mediocrity, “I’m still in love with you, I wanna see you dance again.”

- My excitement on September and watching Practical Magic almost every day, to welcome October, made me feel immortal

- Going to Hongkong with my sister, Hanna, and all I can remember is catching our breath, sitting in an alley with our egg tarts in Central and laughing at our ludicrous travel decisions

- Sitting in history class and my instructor started to sound like the grownups in Charlie Brown, a lump in my throat and on the verge of crying because I know and I was certain that school isn’t for me and continues to be the bane of my existence

- A wave of depression so intense it made me sit on the floor of my balcony at 3am listening to Crash Into Me

- Throwing a bachelorette (party of four) for my sister, Inky. Her best friend posed as her stripper because we’re too much of a wimp to get a real stripper and I’ve never seen her laugh so much before. We went out for drinks after and had an intense and honest conversation despite the godawful ambiance and waited for our guy friends to pick us up. All I remember about it now was the tumble and tangle of limbs but it was one of the best moments of my 2017

- Growing closer to my sisters. I don’t know how, I don’t know when BUT HERE WE ARE

- Listening to the entire Dreamin' Wild album by Donnie & Joe Emerson on vinyl. Johnny bought it for me as a Christmas present and I know he saved up for it for a while

- Welcoming 2017 with a studio 70s roller disco party and I can never write about this because it was everything

- The first week of January, Johnny so openly talked to me about how much he hates his work and that he doesn’t know what to do and we just sat on the bed and I played Billy Joel’s James and we started bawling like babies. A week after that, he finally left his job

- Right now, listening to Paul Simon sing American Tune, muting the people around me, eating the last of my cake. I realize we’re nearing towards the end of February and I’m still not beginning

I promise to try to update this more, whether if it's a bad movie review, the usual list of things or just a moodboard of inspiration. But I'd forgive myself if I didn't.

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girl-gainsbourg · 7 years ago

Text

Hold on fast to living

New to this (again). I’ve been apprehensive to start a new outlet because my writing and creative skills are slowly diminishing (with age) and my life is pretty mediocre these days. Plus there’s this whole “starting anew/clean slate” feeling that’s terrifying because my obsessive-compulsive mind is too afraid to miss out the smallest detail so I’d rather not document anything esp on my journal since I fear committing mistakes the most and that prevents me from doing anything. Marc Johns once shared that he makes his own journals (as in he binds them himself) so he doesn’t feel regretful of whatever he had written and Emma Watson said someone told her that there’s nothing more intimidating than a blank canvas, which is true. Sometimes that’s what makes me give up writing and/or doing things altogether. On the other hand, not being able to chronicle my thoughts, inspirations, discoveries and misadventures makes me sadder. I don’t remember any of the silly things I laughed at during the Christmas season which was one of the best moments of my life; I’m starting to forget what happened when I threw my boyfriend (I call him Johnny online) his very first prom; I don’t have a list of songs that changed my life in 2016 so I don’t know where to send my thank you notes to. Now (well not exactly now but it has become a recurring thought) I realized that I’m writing for myself, so writing bad entries is ok and shouldn’t feel like homework. That it’s far more important that I remember certain periods, feelings or strange magic (as I, my sister and our homie, Tavi like to call it) rather than worrying whether I sound fancy or intellectual (something I won’t ever be anyway cos I’m always grammatically incorrect). That I should keep writing despite the normality of my life because that's the only way I'll get better at it, plus whoelse is going to log all the times I rewatch Roswell? That I should stop writing as if I’m writing for an audience and just be completely honest with myself because this is my space (not yours, Bethany). That it’s ok to allow myself to write bad, cringey poetry because I can see myself develop from it and at least I have something to look back on and laugh at in the future. I realized that if I didn’t write, or try to, I wouldn’t be able to encapsulate important adulting moments, silly conversations, filmy feelings, sartorial choices, bathroom epiphanies, etc. I realized that in order for me to let go of the perpetual fear/ anxiety of creating/ writing something, I should just describe things as I see them. Less is more and just being sincere and honest about the things I write about often leads to a product of inspiring and inspired writing.

- Sitting on the curb outside 7/11 with my sister Hanna after an outdoor movie (it was Matilda), listening to Crowded House’s Don’t Dream It’s Over on loudspeaker

- My friendship with Aida leveled up when we started opening up to each other about our depression and finding peace in each other’s consolation

- Crying at a club whilst I was dancing with Rosie on her last night in the country because I don’t want this but I’ll miss her

- Dancing to Neil Young’s Harvest Moon with Carlo was bewitching. A lilting reminder that despite the persistent mediocrity, “I’m still in love with you, I wanna see you dance again.”

- My excitement on September and watching Practical Magic almost every day, to welcome October, made me feel immortal

- Going to Hongkong with my sister, Hanna, and all I can remember is catching our breath, sitting in an alley with our egg tarts in Central and laughing at our ludicrous travel decisions

- A wave of depression so intense it made me sit on the floor of my balcony at 3am listening to Crash Into Me

- Throwing a bachelorette (party of four) for my sister, Inky. Her best friend posed as her stripper because we’re too much of a wimp to get a real one and I’ve never seen her laugh as much as she did before. We went out for drinks after and had an intense and honest conversation despite the godawful ambiance and waited for our friends to pick us up. All I remember about it now was the tumble and tangle of limbs but it was one of the best moments of my 2017 tbfh

- Growing closer to my sisters. I don’t know how, I don’t know when BUT HERE WE ARE

- Listening to the entire Dreamin' Wild album by Donnie & Joe Emerson on vinyl. Johnny bought it for me as a Christmas present and I know he saved up for it for a while and that makes my mouth quiver

- Welcoming 2017 with a studio 70s roller disco party and I can never write about this because it was everything

- The first week of January, Johnny so openly talked to me about how much he hates his work and that he doesn’t know what to do with his life anymore and we just sat on the bed sharing an understanding and I played Billy Joel’s James and we started bawling like babies. A week after that, he finally left his job

- When I watched this conversation between RuPaul and Oprah that literally changed my life. It’s like they sat down and recorded a self-help audiobook

- Right now, listening to Paul Simon sing American Tune, muting the people around me, eating the last of my cake. I realize we’re nearing towards the end of February and I’m still not beginning

I promise to try to update this more, whether if it's a bad movie review, the usual list or just a moodboard of inspiration. But I'd forgive myself if I didn't.

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againstthetidepbs · 7 years ago

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10 of my Favourite Covers

‘Cover band’ is a bit of dirty word in the music scene but I can’t help but always be captivated by a very stylish cover, I’m truly amazed by the different ways that bands can represent the exact same song. When I had completed my very first edition of Against The Tide on PBS, I remember being so exhilarated and thrilled with the show and so confused when the very next announcer (Big Ian Sutherland, Shaggin The Night Away) happily congratulated me ‘Good job! I loved that cover of Brazil that you played’. I froze, completely unaware that the Cornelius track that I had played was a cover of a 1939 song written by Ary Barroso. Since then I’ve often wondered how many more songs in my collection had been repurposed.

So here are my top ten favourite covers.

1. No Se Si Es Amor – Aleks and the Ramps (cover of ‘It Must have been Love – Roxette) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DWDj8lQne-w

I’m probably going to credit this song for helping me fall in love with the banjo, an instrument I had previously hated with a passion. The wonderful thing about this cover is that you’ll be happily screaming along in a language that you’ve probably never spoken before just because you can really FEEL the emotion.

2. VCR – The Antlers (cover of VCR – The XX)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UYoo6VwAh7E

Look if you love this song, you’re probably going to love it either way but there is something about The Antlers version that has a bit more mystery to it for me. Peter Silberman’s vocals are a beautiful contrast to Romy Croft’s originals and I love their take on the track.

3. Baby – Ariel Pink’s Haunted Graffiti (cover of Baby – Donnie and Joe Emerson)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q3utvDLTynY

There is some sort of secret code that goes on when someone asks you which version of ‘Baby’ you prefer, Ariel Pink ‘s Haunted Graffiti or Donnie and Joe Emerson. I happen to think that both versions of this incredible song are just as good as each other but there is no neutrality in the Game of ‘Baby’, you choose or you die. So I’ll die knowing that I’ve chosen to put the Ariel Pink version onto this list and I’m pretty happy with that.

4. Crying – Austra (cover of Crying – Roy Orbison)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaGICH5oJYQ

This is a haunting song to begin with but I find Austra’s version quite dramatic in a very different way to the original. A strong string section and some choral additions make this a unique and beautiful version of a classic heartbreak song.

5. Ceremony – Chromatics (cover of Ceremony – New Order)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hWsktZGQFfo

So many bands have covered Joy Division/New Order and I do really think it’s hard to do justice to their sound, which was such a revelation at the time. Ceremony is my favourite New Order track and I was quite sceptical of the Chromatics cover to begin with but now I think the slower, lo fi cover definitely holds it’s own against the original.

6. Lighthouse – Blood Orange (cover of Lighthouse – New Village)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ba8-OyFw8ZA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=moL0JgNek5A

I heard the cover before I heard the original in this case. I wouldn’t have known had not Blood Orange made this obvious when he released this track (the same year as the original). The differences here are subtle, more to do with the overall tone of the song rather than any huge stylistic differences. I’ve included both links to the cover and the original here so you can get what I mean.

7. Come All Ye Fair and Tender Maidens – Prudence Rees Lee (Cover of Come All Ye Fair and Tender Ladies – American Folk Ballad)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HOrTia7Yymo

Some songs feel like they have always been a part of you, like you’ve known them your entire life. That may be slightly overdramatic but this cover of ‘Come All Ye Fair and Tender Maidens’ feels immediately familiar. The original artist long since lost to history, this song has been covered by a plethora of artists. This particular version by LA/Melbourne artist Prudence Rees Lee has a spooky earnestness to it that really resonates for me.

8. Again – How To Dress Well (cover of Again – Janet Jackson)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=353uFx6cWDw

I follow How To Dress Well on twitter and he’s frequently lamenting that nobody seems to understand how to classify his alternative/rnb pop stylings as an artist. I feel like this cover really helped to bridge that gap for me. A classic track by Janet Jackson reimagined in his very particular style.

9. Lotus – Belfast FM (Cover of Killing In The Name Of – Rage Against The Machine)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XRAYh7auTwI

This is one of those covers that could possibly be written off as being a parody of the original song. But it seriously grows on you. If you forget about the original song, you can imagine this being the modern (well of it’s time, 2010) release of this song. No anger, just a whole bunch of irony.

10. Brazil – Cornelius (cover of Aquarela do Brasil by Ary Barroso)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b4D_1ochyus

It would be remiss of me not to include this beautiful rendition of ‘Aquarela do Brasil’ recreated almost 70 years after the original, half a world away in Japan. Barroso’s ode to his hometown and it’s beauty has been reimagined many times but Cornelius’s version holds a special place in my heart. The album it was released on, ‘Point’, was one of the very first albums that led me down the path towards the music that I love and am lucky enough to spend every week curating a show about.

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