#bUT YH I HOPE YOU LIKE ANOTHER LYRIC RELATED POST >:)))

[seduceme-lovestruck-thearcana]

@megatraven

God,,Meg,,,

I was listening to music (like I do for like hours a day) and I got to the song “Let Her Go”...and...instead of Alex and MC,,it went to Apollo and Rose and I am CRYING. This isn’t th thought that had me crying at 2 am. That one still needs a little thought and correct writing, BUT LIKE THIS IS JUST SAD ALRIGHT AND I HAD TO GET IT OUT.

It’s like 12 AM today and I’ll probably be posting this around like 3 pm because I want it to be seen bc I’m an attention seeker djwbsb. Alright so let me get down to it.

Future Sarah: Hahah it’s like almost midnight when I AM posting this :’)))

I was listening to it and it’s not necessarily related to Alex or any of AFK,, it’s just certain parts of the song that had me thinking “APOLLO MOOOD”. Like,,I love Apollo so much (well my Apollo) but I love to have everyone suffer before happy endings bc that’s how I roll. We know this from our AUs and us bouncing ideas back and forth djwndb. Okay alright let me start SORRY DNABD.

Okay the lyric part,

“Staring at the bottom of your glass, hoping one day you’ll make a dream last.”

I just imagined,,,Apollo in Olympus after Rose has died in her second timeline. Apollo (canon-wise) felt to blame for Roses death in her first lifetime. He felt like it was his fault because he wasn’t there to watch her. He stayed hidden instead of actually being in her life (he was there but not there ya know??) and he felt a little bit responsible. Because of this, he tried harder in her second life,,but it didn’t work. Because the moment he left to do what he thought was right...she died with him not with her, once again. She died and I didn’t put this in the story (I think?? If I did then ignore this part) but she wanted to see Apollo only to find out he had gone to get ingredients. She felt sad, but understood how he wanted her to get better,,but she knew she wasn’t going to get better. She was dying and she felt it, but she kept smiling and prayed that Apollo would come back in time,,but he didn’t.

SO, he’s sitting in Olympus and let’s say the gods throw a party. Why?? IDK! But I mean maybe they’re like Sevastian just throwing parties bc why the heck not. Everyone’s having drinks and he needs to show he’s okay. He doesn’t want any of them to be suspicious or talk to him. He wanted to be left alone, but he couldn’t be alone. Not yet anyways. So, he’s drinking a lot. Laughing a bit at the others jokes, but he spaces out sometimes and looks at his empty wine glass. He feels a bit tipsy,,,but it’s never enough to make him forget his problems. Heck, it makes him focus on his problems more,,and nothing could take it away.

And Rose was his dream. His dream of happiness, his dream of humanity becoming better,,,and just his dream. It was always hard for him to describe his feelings towards Rose,,all he knows is that he loves her and she is his dream of everything. And he couldn’t see that dream anymore,,

Only sleep could take him to his dream for a few hours, but it always hurt when he woke up.

And the gods notice him spacing out and one claps a hand on his shoulder and fill his glass back up. He lets out a laugh and pretends that he’s okay for the rest of the night...but he’s nowhere near alright.

“You see her when you close your eyes, maybe one day you’ll understand why. Everything you touch surely dies...”.

Everytime he closed his eyes and rested for awhile, he saw her smile. He saw her brunette hair, gorgeous, blue eyes, her pink lips that were beautiful when she smiled, and he remembered everything about her. Usually, that would be good of a lover...but for him it caused pain. Heck, he doesn’t know if he’s called a lover. For a long time he didn’t feel love. Many gods and goddesses had affairs or “husbands” and “wifes”. Nothing seemed real and so he never tried in any of it. He just stayed showing people music and going to humanity every now and then.

But when he met Rose, he got this feeling in his heart. His heart raced when she smiled at him (not in her second lifetime since she was a kid or when she was a kid in her first lifetime,,,), he felt a little bashful under her gaze when she listened to him play his music, and whenever she talked to him in a demanding voice,,,he got a little flustered. At first, he didn’t understand why.

He hated it.

He hated the idea of a human being able to bring him, a GOD, to his knees. But he loved it at the same time. He would do anything for her and he realized it too late...because when Gods tempt fate, maybe fate bites them back. Rose would always die and Apollo will always blame himself,,,

“Staring at the ceiling in the dark, same old empty feeling in your heart.”

Apollo would have trouble falling asleep. He was a god and could run in few hours of sleep, but he would almost get no sleep. The only time he would sleep was when he couldn’t stand up without feeling something push him down on a bed. Or if he was out in Olympus or on the surface, he would feel his feet drag him somewhere. It wasn’t him doing it either,,,or maybe it was. He would laugh and think that maybe Rose was trying to push him back down or go somewhere to sleep...but maybe it was just him trying to stay hopeful.

Once he got to a bed, turned the lights off, he stared at the ceiling,,,he felt his heart not feel okay. “Not okay” wasn’t the right words at all. He felt broken,,no amount of alcohol, sleep, talking, or anything could fill the hole in his heart. However, he would force himself to sleep, knowing Rose would be angry at him. In fact, when he couldn’t sleep he would think of good times. He would think of Rose making fun of him and he felt a bit better :))).

“Well, you see her when you fall asleep, never to touch and never to keep.”

Apollo would have dreams of seeing Rose. Well, not her herself, but past her. The Rose that he first met at that river. He would see their encounter, but only as a spectator. He would feel the feelings always. Feel his heart break when he sees how he was a little rude to her. He would change the past, but he also wouldn’t. Change the past you change the future.

That sounds like a good thing to him sometimes. Maybe if he did be in her life more, maybe she’d be alive. But then he realizes that she’d live a normal life and die...and never come back. And he hates himself for that thought.

His selfishness....

And that’s why he believes he’s punished by seeing her in his dreams, but not able to hug her, kiss her, or comfort her. He’s just haunted by the past and he prays every night that he’ll get to see her again...

“Because you loved her too much.”

He does love her too much. He cares for humans, yes, but this human was a person he fell too in love with. But he never wishes that he didn’t. He loves the feeling of love. And he thought love was a happy thing, a thing full of joy and happiness, or that’s what he thought from Aphrodite. But when he lost Rose...he learned love has other emotions too..

Guilt if you lose them.

Pain if you lose them.

Suffering if you lose them.

Aching if you lose them.

And so many more things that aren’t shown in the contract of love. Only in the fine print....

And he suffered them.

In his terms, Aphrodite was the doctor telling him his symptoms of love...and then the other symptoms of love when the time had come...

And like,,,this idea was meant for Apollo and Rose away from AFK. But I remembered the ending of the song...

He says “And ya let her....”

And it’s silent for a second. And I imagined Apollo, attending Alex and MCs wedding. That part of the song happens...and when the singer finally says

“...Go”

Alex and MC kiss.

Apollo let her go.

And that action is another symptom of love. The feeling of wanting them to be happier than you. Even if it means hurting yourself,,or letting them go.

Thoughts on this sad idea >:)? And there’s not a lot of proofreading...so sorry if there’s mess ups.