#b/d

[waterfallofspace]

Letting It In & Letting It Go (1/3)

The one in which K/azuki learns to let his feelings in, and R/ei learns to let his walls go down, at least a little. Feat. Sick R/ei, caretaker K/azuki, and heavy ship implications (cough outright statements cough), though, they aren’t in a relationship at this point. (Pre-M/iri, maybe one day I’ll write something post, but right now this was rotting my brain, so I’m getting it out) AKA: I have a problem and I can’t stop writing B/uddy D/addies content, so here is the second fic that no one asked for hahaha~ UPDATE: PART TWO (linked for ease of access!!)  Part 3 is not written yet, but I do know what I want to do with it, so once I’ve found the time/inspiration, I’ll release it too. (just incase anyone wants to see the ramblings of a crazy person hahaha~) (references to smoking, really high fevers, trauma, and swearing, incase you don’t like any of those)

Also, I am from the land of poutine and ‘sorry’s, so temperatures are written in Celsius, but for reference: 36°C is about 96.8°F 39°C is about 102.2°F

Characters: R/ei, K/azuki, and some ANGST Word Count: 5.2k

It wasn’t unusual for Kazuki to arrive home to the smell of smoke wafting from the apartment. In fact, it was actually a bit worrying that the smoke alarms had never gone off. ‘Mental note, check those.’ However what was unusual was the sound of rough coughing that echoed off the walls as he left his shoes neatly next to the pile Rei had left his in.  “Rei? I’m home, are you al-”

He’s cut off by the sight awaiting him on the couch. An ashtray sits on the table, the smoke wafting from it seemingly melting into the air, as Rei convulses with lung spasms that borderline on worrying. “What, you forget to blow out the smoke or somethin’?” “No.” “Just not agreeing with you today?” “Close enough.” ‘Ever the wordsmith’ Kazuki mused, deciding to leave it alone. It’s not as if he’s never choked on a drink here or there, and bringing attention to the mistake isn’t exactly his favourite subject of conversation either. Deciding to instead focus on cooking dinner, Kazuki unloaded the groceries he had been out purchasing while Rei wasted away on the couch. A noise caught his attention, but when he looked up Rei was learning back in his usual spot, controller in hand. His position was relaxed, legs brought up on the couch, arms hanging slightly, controller gripped loosely, eyes fixed on the screen. And yet, every muscle of his being screamed tense. He had the uncanny skill to appear completely dejected and exhausted, while still keeping every ounce of his being on edge, as if he was prepared for attack at any moment. Kazuki had always secretly admired that level of training, though he didn’t doubt the methods used to achieve such perfection were less than pleasant. Rei didn’t speak about his childhood much. ‘I mean, he doesn’t speak much anyways, but specifically about that particular topic, he has less to say than normal’.  He thought, turning his attention back to the simmering pot in front of him.  A few more strange noises caught his attention, but he couldn’t pinpoint the source, so he just chalked it up to Rei’s game. He never did fully understand the appeal of those. He figured they were just something you had to be into to really appreci-

“nNgt-!” 

If Kazuki hadn’t already had his eyes fixed on the couch, he would have missed it entirely. Swallowed into near silence, with only a slight jerk of the head, ‘Hands free, pretty impressive, if not a bit terrifying’ Rei had seemingly stifled a sneeze out of existence.

For as good as he was at assassination, planning, playing a part, and being subtle, that was one aspect that Kazuki had never had the fortune of mastering. The art of controlling his body and emotions. When he sneezed, he was sometimes able to muffle it, but fully stifling it was a pipe dream at best. He just lacked the muscle control, and honestly, the will to. It always sounded extremely unsatisfying, if not painful. Rei, however, did not share these downfalls. He supposed it, again, had something to do with his upbringing.  Kazuki soon quelled this line of thinking. Even theorizing about it just to himself in his mind felt like overstepping boundaries. Rei clearly had reservations about talking about it, walls up that he wasn’t eager to pull down, and it wasn’t his place to attempt to scale them. 

“kgNtt-! nNkT-! hH’ngxt-!” “Bless you.” “What?” Kazuki chuckles softly at the rough reply. Rei’s voice was gruff on a good day, but after the coughing from earlier, and the sneezing, it had taken on a slightly hoarse tone, stuffy around the edges.  “I said bless you. It’s a form of pleasantries that one offers when someone else sneezes. Or, alternatively, ‘bless me’ is used when one sneezes and offers themself said pleasantry.”

“Why are you using that voice? You sound like an idiot.” “Why you- I do not! I sound well educated! That was my formal-” “It sounds weird.” Kazuki grips his chest, mouth hanging open, before huffing a sigh and bringing the plates he had so carefully arranged to the table. “Oh whatever, just come eat before it gets cold.” “Not hungry.” Well that was new. And concerning. While he never gave Kazuki the thanks for his food that he definitely deserved, Rei usually at least had the mind to eat it. Sometimes he left parts he didn’t like, such as his vegetables, or a piece of perfectly good meat that had ‘a weird texture’. But outwardly refusing all food? That was certainly not commonplace. “Are you sure? If you don’t want this, I could pull something else together, not that you’d appreciate it anyways- But I don’t want you complaining later that I didn’t feed you.” “I won’t.” And that was that. Kazuki ate his portion, opting to store Rei’s in the fridge just incase he changed his mind and wanted something later. Another round of coughing pulled his eyes back to the cough, Rei curled into himself, hiding his face deep in his sleeve. “You alright?” “YeahH-! hH’NNgxt-!” “Real convincing. Look,” He began, running a hand down his face with a light sigh as Rei held up a hand to stop him, before doubling over into a clenched fist. “hH’Nnnt-! Hehh’kkggnt-! nNgt’chh-!”  “Bless you. Look, if you’re hungry later, the food is in the fridge. Just stick it in the oven for a few minutes, it’ll warm up enough to eat. It’s a perfectly manageable task, I know you can do it. As for me though, I’m going to bed. We have a job the day after tomorrow and I’ve still got a lot of planning to get done.”

“Okay.” “Oh, what’s that? ‘Oh Kazuki, thank you so much for doing all of the planning and putting in hours and hours of work so that our jobs go down the way we want’? You’re so welcome, thank you for noticing!” “I’m usually the one that actually lands the shot.” Kazuki bites his tongue, hand flying to his mouth at the audacity of the accusation, before releasing his breath, deciding it’s not worth the effort. “Night Rei.” “Yeah.” With that, he headed off to shower before bed, faintly hearing another round of coughing begin as he turned on the water. He elected to ignore it, ‘problems for another day’ and all that.  ~~~~~~~

“hH’NGxxt’shh-!” “Bless you.” “Ihh’kngt-!”

“Bless you.” “Do you have to do that?” “Sorry, habit.” “hh’nnXGT-!”  “Ble-”

Kazuki stops himself, electing for a slightly embarrassed shrug as Rei’s eyes flicker off the screen to study him for a moment. Neither of them breaks the silence. An unspoken agreement to let it go seems to pass through the air, and Rei turns his attention back to the cars on the screen. A kart racing game, Kazuki believes. He’s never actually tried it himself. Rei’s never offered, and he’s never asked. It’s probably for the best anyways- it’s not like he’s a sore loser or anything! He’s just a bit of a perfectionist… and, oh come on, who enjoys losing?  “H’ngxt-!uhhh” 

This one is followed by an itchy sounding cough, rattling his lungs a little deeper than Kazuki is comfortable with. When he asked Rei earlier if he was alright, he got an eye roll, sigh, and more coughing in response. Asking again now would probably yield the same result, but there was no point anyways. It was clear that the guy was sick, just a question of how bad it was. Not like he’d get an answer to that either.

“Snnfff-!” And then there was that. Throughout the day, Rei had been stifling into near silence, however this method was not without consequences. For one thing, they sounded incredibly itchy, the force only building as the day dredged on. More importantly however, the near constant sniffling that Rei seemed dedicated to ignoring.

“Snfff-”  After another five minutes of this, Kazuki finally had it. Closing his notepad, (maybe a little harsher then he meant) he stood up, and threw a tissue box at the couch.

“Just blow your nose. You’re literally driving me insane over here, I can’t hear my own thoughts.” Rei said nothing, but a slight pink tint seemed to race across his cheeks, before they were quickly hidden by a handful of tissues. He did blow, but Kazuki could tell he was holding back, it was soft and subdued, not at all the harsh, relieving feeling that his sinuses must be longing for. “You can go all out, I don’t mind. It’s not like I’ve never been sick before, I get it.” As soon as the words hit the air, Kazuki felt an unmistakable urge that he’d made a critical mistake. Normally this kind of chest-tightening anxiety came on a job when something crucial in his plan failed, but the look that Rei shot him over his hands was enough to freeze him in place. It wasn’t anger, it wasn’t annoyance, shit, it wasn’t even embarrassment. It was fear. Genuine, bone-chilling, terror. Something in his demeanour suddenly reminded Kazuki of a cornered animal. Despite remaining perfectly still, it was like Rei was suddenly pacing, looking for the perfect moment to strike and run. “Who said I was sick?” The words nearly knocked Kazuki over, breaking eye contact as his hand connected roughly with the table to keep him upright. “W-what? Sorry, what? Uhh… no one, but you’ve been coughing and sneezing all of today, a-and you were yesterday too, so I just figured…” “Oh.”  ‘Oh? That’s all he has to say, oh? He just looked at me like I killed someone he loved right in front of him, and ‘oh’ is all he has to say about it?’ 

“It’s okay if you are, ya know. We can cancel the job if you don’t feel up t-”

“No.” The firmness of the response left a bad taste in Kazuki’s mouth. Almost like blood, but more bitter. Like the word itself had cut his tongue, and left traces of its bitter tone behind. “Okay, that’s fine, we can do it then. I’m not gonna bail on money if you think you’re up to it. Especially after all the planning I put into this plan. I think it’s one of my best so far, so we start out…” Kazuki continued rambling, suddenly desperate to fill the silence with something easy and normal. Just a job, just two partners talking about a job. The tension was thick enough to choke him, his words starting to stumble over each other as Rei broke off with another harsh bout of coughing. Finally, Rei interrupted his monologue, ‘thank god’.  “I’m gonna sleep. Tell me about my part on the ride there tomorrow.”

He wanted to tell him to take some meds before he slept, but the memory of the pure terror in Rei’s eyes was enough to quiet him instantly. Instead, he offered a muted “night” as Rei slowly stood, trembling almost unnoticeably, before making his way towards the bathroom. Kazuki glanced at the clock, ‘heading to bed at seven, that can’t bode well…’ before deciding to make a bit of food to relieve some of the tension that had built up in his neck and shoulders. Cooking has always been a way of destressing for him, even before he moved in with Rei. He’s always considered it an art form, and despite how unappreciated it goes in this household, the satisfaction of making something beautiful out of a mess of ingredients will never lose its shine.  After a nice meal, with a slice of the cake he had baked earlier for dessert, he finally sat down and ironed out the details of the plan, setting aside the details Rei would need to memorize, along with a basic overview of the background intel. He gently stacked those papers on the couch, next to Rei’s controller, before letting out a yawn, and heading up to bed himself.

~~~~~~~ Sometime during the night Kazuki had been woken by a rough bout of coughing coming from downstairs, followed by a few harsh, “hH’ZZSCHHoo-! hAH’SHH’OO-! Hehh- hH’KKSSHHH’oo-!” Groaning slightly, he had turned back over and drifted off again, faintly aware of the coughing continuing as his eyes fluttered back shut. It felt like seconds later when he finally opened his eyes again, the soft light of morning creeping in under his door. A glance at his phone showed the time to be closer to nine, definitely a more reasonable time to be awake.

Kazuki stumbled out of bed and flipped on the light. He started reaching for the shirt he had set aside, rerouting to his shoulder as a soft “ehh’shhiew! hIH’kshhiew!” surprised him. It wasn’t unusual for him to get a couple sneezes right after waking up. He didn’t quite know why, but the biology of the issue wasn’t really a concern. It was harmless enough, it’s not like he often had to actually sleep and wake up while remaining silent on a job.  Pulling on his shirt, and wiping the sleep from his eyes, Kazuki started down the stairs, pausing once he reached the kitchen, eyes roaming over to the couch where Rei was-

Sleeping. He was sleeping, controller sprawled on the floor, television still on, the game showing a pause screen. Rei still being asleep at nine was nothing new, but the tissues that he still had grasped in his hand were definitely not a normal part of the equation.

That, and the fact that he was curled up without a blanket, and yet, somehow still was clearly radiating heat, were enough to stir a bad feeling in Kazuki’s gut. He walked over to Rei, careful to keep his steps light, and gingerly placed his hand against the sleeping man's forehead, wincing at the burning he was met with.  Dark eyes shot open, freezing Kazuki right where he stood, hand still pressed against Rei’s face. The two of them locked eyes, neither blinking, nor moving, Kazuki’s wide, and Rei’s bleary, as if he was still readjusting to being awake.

After what felt like hours, Kazuki finally got it together enough to pull away, nearly jumping out of his skin when a shaky hand grabbed his arm, and brought his fingers back to their previous position. “Feels good, you’re cold.” The words aren’t slurred, but they definitely lacked the clarity of someone who was fully with it. Kazuki almost thought about staying like this, seeing as this much physical contact being initiated by Rei was unheard of. Almost. Gently prying his hand away, Kazuki was careful to keep his voice balanced, not wanting to startle him with too much volume ‘or emotion for that matter’. “You’re running a fever, Rei. It feels pretty bad… you are sick, aren’t you?” “Might be.” “Might?” Despite the effort to keep his voice calm, the incredulous nature of the statement crept up in Kazuki’s retort, but he bit back any further comments when Rei flinched at the tone change. Yes, flinched.  “Sorry. I’m not mad, okay? I just… I need you to tell me how bad it is so I can help you, okay?”

“Okay.” Progress, an affirmative response. Not denying the sickness. This is progress. “Can you tell me what feels icky right now?” “Icky?” “Shut up, you- you know what I mean. We know you have a fever, I’ll get a thermometer to be sure, but given the heat, we’ll be lucky if it’s low-grade. Is there anything els-” “hH’nNXGT-!uhhh hIHH-! ihh’DTNNGT-! Hehh’nnngxxt-!shuhhh”  “So sneezing too. And you were coughing earlier, so that’s probably not gone?”

Rei responds, but it’s barely audible, seemingly unintentional, as he clears his throat and gives it another try. “It’s not that bad.” “But you do have a cough.” “I guess.” “You gue-” Kazuki studies himself with a sigh, running a hand down his face, before clearing his throat softly and starting again. Man, it was harder to hold back the snark then he thought. “Alright, I can work with this. I’m going to get the thermometer, you are going to let me take your temperature, and then we can figure out what to do from there. I’m also going to give you some meds, and you are going to take them.” ‘If we even have any’ He added to himself, turning to the kitchen to locate the cold supplies. He let out a silent prayer that they had at least some cough drops to soothe Rei’s throat as he heard the man burst into another harsh cough behind him. It was rough, deep, wet, and with a wheezing sound to it that was more than Kazuki could stand to listen to. He finds the drawer, pulling it open to reveal a pack of tissues, a stack of napkins, a thermometer, and a handful of cough drops ‘thank god’. Making his way back over to Rei, Kazuki pauses at the table, pretending to read the papers he had left there last night, giving Rei a bit of space as the man gasps desperately and ducks into his wrist. “Heh’nngtt-! Kk’nnggtt-! H’ddtshh’uee-!”  The last one didn’t go down so easily, refusing to be swallowed into oblivion, leaving Rei a bit redder then he was a second ago, and sniffling into a handful of tissues. He gives another soft blow, but this time it’s not out of embarrassment, as evident by the utter lack of airflow through his nose as he attempts to give another heady sniff. 

“Bless you, Rei. I found a few cough drops, but I wanna check your fever before I give you any, so open up, stick this under your tongue, and keep it there till it beeps.”

“I know how a thermometer works.” “With you I can never be sure. Now open up, there you go, and- yep just like that, now keep it there. I mean it, don’t you dare take it out before it beeps.” Rei rolls his eyes, bringing up a hand to rub at his nose. His twitching nose. ‘Oh for shit’s sake’.  “Don’t you dare sneeze, you hear me?”

The nod he receives is vastly undercut by the desperation dancing through Rei’s eyes as he pinches his nose shut. It doesn’t seem to help as much as he wanted though, as a hitching breath hisses out between his teeth. “hehhH-! Hahh… hhHDT- uhhhh…. hiHh-!” Credit where credit’s due, he was holding out valiantly considering the frequency of the breaths and the frantic nature of his nose, vibrating against his fingers. The thermometer sounds with a loud ‘BEEEEP’ that startles both of them.

Kazuki pulls it out, and checks the numbers. 39.5°C ‘oh shit’. Not bad enough for a hospital, but close enough to cause his heart to race, mind flooding with panic. If Rei faints, could he carry him? What about if his brain boils, that was a thing Kazuki had read could happen if you had too high of a fever. Granted it was on a social media site, but that doesn’t mean it’s not true. You can’t just dismiss it, and what if the fever keeps climbing, would Rei even let him bring him to a hospital? For that matter, is he in any state to put up a fight? Kazuki breaks free of his thoughts long enough to cast a glance back over at Rei and finds him- “hHh-! ehHH!uhhhhh…. hehhhH-! hhHH-”  “Oh god Rei, I meant don’t sneeze when it’s in your mouth, you can sneeze now!”

“Okaahhhh! hH’NNGT-! DTNNGXTT-! hEH’NXXGT-! I cahhh- can’t… I can’t ihhhht tick- ticklheHH!”  Kazuki winces at every desperately contained outburst, before finally deciding enough is enough, and pulling Rei’s hands down. Confused eyes met his, desperation shining in them as his breath catches once more, only barely managing to stall it.

“Whhhaahh! What are you doohhing, let go, I nehehhh- need to sneeze!”  There’s more emotion in his voice then Kazuki had ever heard before, but he guesses it’s hard to keep a tone of unphased annoyance when your breath is hitching so wildly.

“I know, but if you keep stifling them like that you’re gonna blow a fuse, and I don’t need you bleeding on top of this sickness, the couch is red, but blood will still leave a stain for me to clean.” Softening his tone, Kazuki locks his eyes with Rei’s again, letting the care he feels seep into them more than he’d normally allow. “It’s just me. You can let them go, I don’t mind. I promise, you’re safe here.” Even if he wants to protest further, his nose has had enough of being denied, and Rei gives Kazuki an unreadable look before lunging as far away from him as he can manage for the outburst.

“HH’ZZSCHH’OO-! heHH! EHKSSHHH’OO-! RSHHH’OO-! hAH’TSHHH’OOO-! eehhh’hehh’MMPFSSH’OO! hhH’AHHSHH’OO-!” They’re itchy, harsh, and seem to scrape against his throat with every blast, but they also sound like the first real relief he’s had from this itch all day. Rei seems to agree, letting out an itchy, but deeply relieved sigh as the tickle finally backs off enough to let him catch his breath. He sniffles wetly, and then again, managing a weak, “My hands Kazuki.”  Kazuki flushes, seeming only now to realize the grasp he still held on Rei’s arms, letting go with a sheepish grin.

“Sorry, right. Was a little preoccupied watching the show.” It’s Rei’s turn to flush at that, bringing tissues to his nose only partially out of necessity. However, no fear flashes through his eyes this time. ‘Maybe that’s progress’. Kazuki figures, a real smile starting to creep over his face at the thought of Rei finally starting to open up. It’s quickly crushed when the man slumps against him, eyes fluttering shut, heat practically melting into Kazuki’s skin even through the layers of clothing. Just like that, he’s reminded exactly how serious this situation is, and how much worse it could get if he doesn’t think fast. “Hey, Rei, keep your eyes open, okay? I need you to stay awake, I know I’m strong, but carrying you is a harsh no from me, bud.” He gets a low growl in response, but it’s better than nothing. Rei manages to sit up enough to meet his eyes, and he can see the gloss over them. Kazuki wonders if he can even tell what’s going on, and nearly faints when Rei grabs his hand, and presses it back to his forehead again like before. “Feels nice.” The statement is punctuated with a sharp shiver, Rei’s whole body seeming to tremble as he curls deeper into himself, glassy eyes starting to water. Kazuki has seen a lot of terrifying things in his lifetime, and more heartbreak than he was due. But the look in Rei’s eyes, the way he trembles as he attempts to curl into himself, the desperate vulnerability of the scene, it’s enough to chill him to the bone. “Okay, I need you to try to stand up, we’re going to the bathroom. We need to get your fever down. Uh- do you have a swimsuit in your room?” Rei gives him a confused look, but nods weakly, managing to pull himself into a standing position, before hunching over with another set of throat-scraping coughs. The wheeze in his lungs is back, each breath sounding more and more like whistling, and Katsuki takes a second to study his own breathing. Gently, he coaxes Rei to lean against him, draping his arm around his back. They slowly make their way over to the bathroom, where Kazuki sits Rei down on the floor next to the tub, and turns the water on. After making sure it was a nice cool temperature, he rushes up to Rei’s room. Thankfully for him, despite being a mess, his clothes are all kept fairly in one spot, and he finds the swimsuit fast. Making his way back downstairs, Kazuki takes a beat to himself, letting the fear wash over him. While he doesn’t consider himself a particularly weak person, Rei far outmatches him in strength. The man seems to have it all together on the job, no fear, no emotions, just skill and undeniable talent. He gets in, does what needs doing, and goes home. Many words come to mind when thinking of Rei, but not a single one was ‘scared’. Seeing the fear in Rei’s eyes was haunting, and every time Kazuki blinked, those eyes stared back at him. Ones full of imaginable terror at the thought of being perceived as sick. At being seen out of control of his own body. Kazuki remembers something Rei offhandedly mentioned once about his ‘Boss’, saying that “weakness was not tolerated. Not of any kind. Punishments for such flaws were… harsh.” He shudders to think what kind of punishment could instil that kind of blind terror into a man like Rei. Well, never again. It doesn’t matter what happened back then, he’s here now, and no one will ever cause that kind of fear in Rei again. Not ever.  Getting back to the bathroom, he pales at the sight of Rei, fully stretched out on the floor, but some colour returns when the man lets out a rough cough, bringing his hand to his face. With a strained sigh, Kazuki turns the faucet off, letting his hand dip into the cool water, before bringing it up to Rei’s forehead again. 

Rei leans into the touch, letting out a weak moan as the cool relief washes over him. Kazuki helps him stand, handing him the suit.

“Put this on, I’ll look away.” He turns towards the wall, only looking back briefly when Rei lets out a harsh “hEHH’NGXXT-!uhhh” Presenting his shoulder for him to lean against as he changes into the suit. Once he’s changed, Kazuki guides him gently into the water, wincing at the way he hisses at the dramatic change in temperature. “I know, I know, but it’s gonna feel much better, I promise.” His voice is soft, almost calm, but his heart is racing. It doesn’t help that Rei starts shaking again, this time violently enough to splash the water around his hands as they rub his arms. Time seems to slow to a crawl as Kazuki kneels beside the tub, knuckles white as he grips the edge. He’s not used to feeling so helpless, but watching Rei tremble, unable to do anything but watch… it’s killing him. Eventually he can’t take it anymore, and he reaches his hand out to Rei’s head, gently running his fingers through his hair. Rei at first freezes, seemingly fighting every instinct to pull away, before slowly allowing his shoulders to relax a bit, a deep sigh escaping his irritated lungs. Kazuki takes this chance, slipping into the tub behind him, with more than enough room for Rei to move away if it’s too much. What he doesn’t expect, however, is Rei leaning back into him, resting his head, and letting his eyes drift close. The trembling isn’t gone, but it’s a lot more muted, and slowing by the minute.  “Hehh-!”  Kazuki watches as Rei’s nose twitches, a ticklish breath escaping, before he ducks forward with a harsh stifle. “hH’nNGXT’shh-!”  It seems to soak up all the strength he has left, as he weakly manages to raise his hand to pinch his nose shut for it, not letting go once it’s done. The desperate quality of the next breath he takes suggests there are more fighting to come.  Kazuki reaches over beside the tub to where he’d left a box of tissues earlier, and pulls a handful out, pressing them to Rei’s nose. With them, he gently pries Rei’s fingers away, eliciting a low growl in response, desperation prickling in his eyes. “It’s okay, I’ve got you. You can let go, you’re safe with me. I promise, okay? Plus all your stifling is giving me a headache, so I can’t even imagine how bad it must be for you.” He seems to hit home with that one, with Rei letting out a low groan, as if just the reminder of his head was enough to reignite the pain. Kazuki winces a little, that wasn’t the intention, but he’ll do whatever it takes to get Rei to stop trying to implode. “hH’ZSSCHH’OO-! eHH’SSHH’OOO-! hh’RUSHH’ooo! mMMPFFSHH’ooo-!”   ‘It’s probably a good thing he’s too out of it to realize what actually just happened, he’d probably be mortified sneezing into my hand like that’ Kazuki recons when Rei lets himself finally blow his nose, desperate and harsh, but with a sigh afterwards that signifies it was also relieving. “I’m sorry-” Rei starts, out of it enough to not feel actively embarrassed, but apparently still with enough cognizance to realize what happened. Kazuki cuts him off with a shrug, offering another gentle- “I’ve got you, don’t worry about it.” Silence fills the air as Kazuki tosses the tissues, and Rei leans his head back against his shoulder again, this time letting his head turn towards Kazuki’s neck, eyes completely shut.

“Is this okay?”  Kazuki asks softly, and Rei gives a hum in response, leaning deeper into his touch as Kazuki pets his hair some more, letting a smile slip out when he hums again, his posture finally relaxing enough to sink deeper into the water. Kazuki cradles his head, making sure to keep it above the water, but allowing them both to submerge a little more in the cooling touch. 

~~~~~~~

He’s not sure how long they stay like that, but Rei slips into a peaceful sleep, and eventually the fever breaks, leaving them both exhausted and soaked. Once he wakes, Kazuki gets Rei out of the tub, helping him dry off before grabbing a towel for himself, and helping Rei into the change of clothes he had brought down. He turns away respectfully when it comes time to change out of the swimsuit, but once again lets Rei lean against him. Soon he’s fully changed, and Kazuki leads him back to the couch and lays him down, before heading upstairs to change himself. Once he gets back downstairs, he finds Rei dead asleep, stuffed up snoring filling the apartment. Kazuki hums out a small chuckle, laying a blanket over him, and allowing himself a moment to just watch him sleep. He looks so peaceful, no indication that mere hours prior he was nearly on death's door. With a final look, Kazuki heads back upstairs, checking his phone to see that Kyu responded to the text he sent earlier. KAZ: r is sick, might have to cancel job, sorry 4 last minute notice KYU: It’s alright. Don’t make a habit of it though. KAZ: thx kyu KYU: Take care of him, alright? KAZ: already on it KYU: I knew you would be. KAZ: but i dont think we have cold meds, could u drop smthn off 2morrow? –Unread messages– KYU: I’ll put something together, but I’m leaving it outside the door. You’re going to catch this, but I’d prefer to stay healthy.  He lets out a soft laugh, Kyu was absolutely right. He was absolutely going to catch this. Rei also may be out of the woods for now, but it’s only day two, there’s no way this bug is going away that fast. But somehow, none of those things seem to matter. He’s gonna take care of his buddy, no matter what. He made a promise, Rei will be safe with him, and he always keeps his word. 

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

this literally happened in the movie

[bloominglegumes]

LETS GO

[edgar-allan-possum]

Transformers One poster from Studio Trigger

Drawn by Masaru Sakamoto

[cinderoo]

miners have rights

[strayingsocks]

watched transformers one today!

[clover-soup-complex]

And D16 delivered indeed‼️🫡

[stealingpotatoes]

this is a real canon scene that happened they just forgot to put it in the movie (real) (my toaster told me)

[taimanzano]

B-127 pero bebé ;v;

[wat1701]

[waterfallofspace]

Letting It In & Letting It Go (2/3)

The one in which K/azuki learns to let his feelings in, and R/ei learns to let his walls go down, at least a little. Feat. Sick R/ei, caretaker K/azuki, and heavy ship implications (cough outright statements cough), though, they aren’t in a relationship at this point.

Same description as the last one, welcome to Part Two!  (Link to part one is ~~here~~)

R/ei is still sick, but hopefully he’s feeling a bit better since the last time. I guess we’ll see, won’t we?!  (Again, welcome to ‘I have B/uddy D/addies brain rot so, to anyone who bothers to read this, thank you for your time, I hope it’s enjoyable!) (references to violence, swearing, smoking, trauma, bad coughing/wheezing, incase you don’t like any of that) ((ALSO: There are spoilers for B/uddy D/addies. Slight, but it’s still spoilers, so be warned!))  Characters: R/ei, K/azuki, Angst&Banter feat. Caretaking  Word Count: 5.9k (oh lord)

Kazuki’s eyes flutter open, and as he gets his bearings, he realizes he fell asleep at the table. Rei is still letting out congested snores from the couch, but the slight wheeze in his lungs is gone. ‘That’s a relief, at least for now’ he thinks, a yawn escaping. Stumbling to the door, Kazuki opens it to find, true to his word, Kyu had left a basket of supplies outside. The note pinned to it lists what’s in it, and what medications not to combine. ‘Thanks Kyu’. He makes another mental note to text him later with an actual thanks. He lays all the stuff out on the table, taking stock of what was brought. There are some tea bags, a few boxes of tissues, and a pharmacy worth of medications. Cough drops, cough syrups, nasal decongestants (in the form of sprays), pain relievers, and antihistamines, along with a few boxes of general cold meds. Each is unopened, and clearly listed on the note by name, type, and what not to take with it. Turning his attention back to Rei, Kazuki tries to figure out, without waking the man, what medications he should get ready. He can hear the congestion in his snores, so getting him to take the nasal spray when he wakes up would probably help. Kazuki sighs to himself, realizing that task may not be as simple as it sounds. Rei isn’t exactly someone who enjoys discomfort, so convincing him to use a spray that will help, but will feel awful at first… ‘yeah, not gonna be easy’.  Getting back to symptom management, he thinks back to yesterday. The fever was alarming, but it’s since broken, and Rei doesn’t look particularly warm anymore. He was also coughing and sneezing a lot, which he isn’t now, ‘but that’s most likely due to him, ya know, being unconscious’. After studying the list a bit more, and comparing medications and uses, Kazuki decides on a few main choices. Setting aside a nasal spray, general cold medication, an herbal brand of cough medicine, and a handful of cough drops, he packs the rest back into the basket. The tissues are set next to the medication, along with the tea, of which he picks out a nice vanilla chamomile, and gets up to start the kettle.  ~~~~~~~ Stirring on the couch knocks Kazuki out of his sleepy daze, and he looks up to see Rei raising a hand to swipe at his nose. He attempts to sit up, which apparently requires significant effort given the pace he’s going at. “Rise and shine Rei, you want some breakfast?” The low groan he gets in return is indistinguishable as an answer, and since he didn’t eat for most of yesterday, Kazuki decides Rei no longer gets a say in the matter. He starts cracking a few eggs, turning on the stovetop and fishing a frying pan out of the drawer.  “Hh’nggxt-! ehhH’NNgxt-! nnDGXXT-!uhhh”  “Bless you!” “hH’KNNGT-!hhuhh”  “And again. You want bacon with your eggs?” “Who said I want eggs?” Kazuki let out a soft sigh, flashing Rei his most charming smile with just a touch of pleading in his eyes. “You didn’t eat anything yesterday, or dinner the night before, so today you’re eating eggs. But the bacon is optional, because I’m not gonna waste perfectly good meat on you if you’re just gonna pick at it and leave it behind. It’s bacon after all.”  Rei gives a grunt in response, so Kazuki throws an extra piece of bacon on, just incase. He could always eat it himself if Rei’s uninterested. Taking note of the harsh quality of Rei’s voice, he also starts a pot of rice, something easier on the throat and stomach. While the food cooks, Kazuki takes a minute to take in Rei’s appearance. He’s normally dishevelled, but the redness around his nose and pale quality of his skin is making him look particularly rough. He looks almost bruised, the dark bags under his eyes deepening against the tired depth of them. At just the sight of him you’d think he hadn’t slept in months, but with this sickness he’d slept more in the past day than he had in weeks.  The way his teeth dig into his lip and the lines forming around his eyes read plainly of pain. His hands grip the controller a bit too tightly, the whites of his knuckles showing. His whole body is tense, like normal, but the slight trembling of his muscles suggest this stance is taking considerable effort. Kazuki picks up on these tells almost instantly, shuddering a little as he realizes just how deeply Rei must be hurting for him to be able to notice them so easily. “Hey-” Kazuki starts, not missing the way Rei flinches at the volume of his voice. He softens a little before continuing.  “-I have some medicine for you to take. Kyu dropped it off outside earlier, must have been when we were- uh, nevermind! The point is, I need you to take it, so do I need to make some airplane noises, or are you adult enough to do it yourself?”  Rei gives him a measured look, before shrugging, his eyes flashing back to the TV. ‘Not an outright no, so that’s progress!’ Kazuki thinks to himself, turning off the stove and plating the food he’s made. He piles himself a nice tall plate of eggs and bacon, with a small bowl of rice. However, he serves Rei just a single fried egg and a small pile of rice, setting the single strip of bacon next to it. Nothing too overwhelming, just something to give his system a bit of energy. “Come and get it while it’s fresh and hot!” Rei trudges over, and Kazuki doesn’t miss the wince he tries to hide when he first stands, or the way his hand flies almost on its own to his head, giving his temples a quick rub. ‘Headache then, and likely a bad one.’ Kazuki makes a mental note to add ‘pain relievers’ to the list of meds he has set out for Rei.  ~~~~~~~ They ate in relative silence, Rei picking at his food, but managing to get bits of it into his mouth. Sniffling and light coughs broke up the still air, but Kazuki just ignored them. It almost felt like feeding a stray cat. Every movement Rei made was calculated, and in return Kazuki was slow, careful not to scare him into retreating back to the couch.  “hH’KNGT-! hIH’DNNT-!uhhh”  “Bless you! ….Those sound like they hurt.” “It’s fihhhne. Hihh… hAH’GNXXT-!uhhh”  “And again.”  Kazuki can’t help but grimace at the weak groan that escapes Rei’s throat before he can suppress it. ‘Why stifle when it’s hurting your head so much, and not even stopping the tickle?’ He muses, watching as Rei ducks into his chest with another contained sneeze, this one barely even audible. The watery quality of Rei’s eyes as he slowly brings his head back up doesn’t go unnoticed, but Kazuki decides to put it on the backburner. Right now he needs to focus on getting Rei to take the medication. He reaches back into the basket, pulling out a bottle of painkillers, and adding a couple to the cup of meds he had already set out. Setting the nasal spray beside it, and pouring a spoonful of cough syrup, he meets Rei’s eyes. “Swallow these with water, then take this.” Seeing the hesitation on Rei’s face as he regards the nasal spray, Kazuki gives him a light chuckle. “You can save that one for later. You should do it eventually, but these pills will take the edge off the congestion anyways. Now hurry up before this falls off the spoon. Kyu paid for this, so I’ll make you lick it off the table if it spills.” Rei gave him a low growl, but swallowed the meds dry, ‘show off’, before taking the spoon, making a face as he put it in his mouth, but finishing it anyways. Satisfied with these results, Kazuki gestures for him to return to the couch, and Rei obliges eagerly.  Kazuki then went about clearing the table, and making a mental note to make rice again for lunch (as it was the only part of the meal Rei had actually finished). He then happened to glance back over at Rei just in time to see him crush his nose into his wrist with a harsh “hH’KNNGT-!” that left them both wincing. ���Bless you. But christ Rei, just cut that out already, you’re gonna kill your head even more. It’s actually hurting me to hear you do this. I thought we went over this yesterday!” Rei shoots him a glance at that last section, as if desperately searching for any indication of the day prior that fever seems to have wiped clean. “I don’t remember much of yesterday. Just something about the tub…”  “Yeah well, not surprising. You were pretty out of it. Anyways, doesn’t matter, the point is, suppressing them like that is fine for jobs or whatever, but right now you’re just hurting yourself. Plus it’s… it’s gotta be annoying right..? It doesn’t exactly scratch the itch.” “It’s a habit.” Kazuki rolls his eyes, knowing just as well as Rei does that with this much sneezing, it’s a choice, not an instinct. And even though he does believe Rei that it’s a habit, he also knows that the sneezes aren’t gonna stop anytime soon. Keeping this up is just gonna make his headache even worse. Rei brings a hand up to crush his nose shut for another deeply unsatisfying “hH’NGXT-! heh’DXXGT-!” and when Kazuki sees the tear roll from his eyes at the pain of it, he can’t stand it anymore. He walks out of the kitchen, passing the living room and heading up to his bedroom to fetch something. The feather duster sits right where he left it in his closet.  ‘Sorry Rei, but I promise this is for the best’ he says to himself as he approaches the couch once back downstairs. Rei is giving him a measured look, obviously noticing the way he’s holding his hands behind his back. “I’m sorry it had to come to this, but I cannot listen to you doing that anymore. You’re gonna break something, either in you, or me.” “What are you ta-” He cuts Rei off with the duster right to his face. “Kahhh! Kazuki what the fuhhhhh- hUH-! What are you doing?”  “You seem set on suppressing them out of existence, and I’m putting a stop to it.” Rei tries to bring his hands up to push the duster away, but doing so just sends more dust and feather bits right at his face. Kazuki continues brushing his face with it, only stopping when Rei’s hitching turns into a desperate shaky inhale. “hhHEHH-! hH’ZZSCHH’OO-! HH’RUSHH’OO-! ESHH’OO-! hehH- RSHH’OO-TSHH’OO-! Hihhh… heH’TSHH’OO-!  Hehh! MMPFSHH’OO-! Hehh… hahh…. Hhh-!” “It’s okay Rei, let it all go. I don’t mind. You’re safe here.”  “Ahh… hehh…. hehH’MPFSHH-! Hehh! MPFSHH-!uhhh TSHHH-TSHH’OO-! hEHH! Kaaahhhhzz- haAH’ZZSCHH’OO! I can’t s- stooohh… stop-” Without thinking, Kazuki reaches over, prying away Rei’s hands that he’s stapled to his face, and pinches his nose shut. Rei lets out a soft moan as the sneezing finally dies down enough to let him catch his breath. They sit like that for a minute, until Kazuki realizes he’s still holding Rei’s nose, blushes, and lets go. “Bless you! See, isn’t that better?” Now it’s Rei’s turn to blush, taking the last of the tissues from the box next to him, and letting himself fully blow his nose before responding. “....yeah, it does feel better.” “I knew it! You should really listen to me more often, I’m quite brilliant. You people, you and Kyu, never appreciating my intelligence. You think you’re all that because you’re a tough assassin, practically perfect at it, raised by famous killers, but I’m just as smart you know! If not more so! I had to do it without all the training!” “It was effective training, but it wasn’t all good.” Kazuki pauses his victory dance, finally realizing what he had said.  “Sorry… I didn’t mean-” Rei cuts him off with a shrug, wiping his nose once more with the tissues before tossing them and picking his controller back up. Eyes still on the screen, he spoke again. “I wasn’t allowed weakness. I learned how to hide any sign of humanity, any ‘flaws’.” His tone is balanced, almost like he was reading a grocery list. Just stating facts. But there’s a pain swimming through his eyes that makes Kazuki’s mouth run dry. It’s almost like he can feel all the emotions trembling below the surface of Rei’s calmly annoyed mask, pounding on him from the inside, waiting for a crack so they can seep out. Kazuki wants to give them a way out. Give Rei a space to break down some of the walls his ‘Boss’ had built up in him. Maybe let him figure out how to show his humanity again, something that was so cruelly stolen from him. That’s what he wants, but he knows that’s not what either of them needs.  ‘What Rei needs is a space where he can keep the mask on without effort. That’s what he needs. That’s what both of us need. In this job, we can’t form attachments. We can’t let our masks slip, not even for a second. We need to be cold, collected, and calculating.’ And then, even though he tries not to, he lets his mind wander back to that same old place it always seems to end up. An umbrella floating through the street, the smell of smoke, the ringing in his ears… ‘We don’t get to have people get close to us. That just puts them in danger, and us in danger of losing them.’ “hEH’KSSHH’OO!”  A sneeze breaks him out of his spiralling thoughts, and as Kazuki’s eyes refocus, he realizes Rei is staring at him. “Heh, sorry, got a bit lost in thought there. Bless you.” “It’s fine. Thought you were gonna fall asleep standing up. Didn’t want to worry about you splitting your head open.” Kazuki laughs, and Rei lets a smile slip across his features for just a second, before the grimace of annoyance resets itself, and he turns his eyes back to his game. Kazuki feels a yawn slip out, and Rei directs a raised eyebrow at him. “Didn’t get a lot of sleep last night, I think I’m gonna take a quick catnap.” “Okay.” The answer is short, but he can see the slight flush on Rei’s cheeks as he thinks back to the reason Kazuki is so tired. “Nighty-night.” He shoots over his shoulder, heading upstairs to his room.  ~~~~~~~ The alarm goes off at twelve, just like he wanted it to, but Kazuki still fights the urge to throw the phone at the wall. Letting his head flop back against the pillow, he considers staying in bed all day, but these thoughts are quickly silenced when he hears a bout of harsh coughing from downstairs. Sighing a little, and letting a stray “hH’ISH’shiiew!” slip out as he pulls his jacket back on, Kazuki heads for the stairs, nearly falling down them at the sight waiting for him. Rei stands beside the door, putting on his shoes, holding a loose fist to his mouth as the coughs shake his whole frame.  “What in the ever-loving-fuck do you think you are doing?”  Rei jumps slightly, which is alarming in of itself since Kazuki wasn’t exactly being quiet as he came down the stairs. “Going out.” “Oh like hell you are! And just where are you planning to drag your sickly form to? Gotta go infect a supermarket? Why is it that the one time I actually want you to stay home all day, lazing around, you decide, ‘oh no, no, today is the first time in my life that I feel the unfightable urge to go outside!’ For the love of god Rei, the one time!” “I’m going to see Kyu. We dropped out of the job at the last minute because of me. He’s probably angry, and wehhh! hH’ZZCHH’OO-! we need to take a new one to make up for it.”  Kazuki blinks, staring at Rei, who for his part, is still putting his shoes on. “Bless you. I already took care of that.” “What?” “I told him that you were sick, and he brought the basket over. He said just not to let it happen again, he isn’t upset at us for bailing. Sickness isn’t exactly something you can help…”  Rei’s face was his normal calm annoyance, but something unreadable flashed in his eyes.  “Oh.” And then it hits Kazuki. This probably was new to him, the idea that being sick wasn’t a punishable offence. “Besides, with the state you’re in right now, I don’t want you in position and then blow it because you-” “heH’NNggxt-! hh’nnGT-! AH’KTNGTT-!uhhh” “-Took the words right out of my mouth. Bless you.” “I didn’t say anything.” “Shut up! You know what I mean- oh forget it. You just go lay down again, it’ll be time for more meds again soon. But for now, you should take some cough drops, that cough sounds pretty painful.”  “It’s nothing. My head is worse.” Kazuki feels his mouth drop open at the admission as Rei slowly bends down to take his shoes off again, leaving them in a pile on the floor ‘oh come on, really?’ before making his way back to the couch. Reaching over to pick up the shoes, Kazuki hears Rei sneeze again from behind him. “hH’NGT’ooo-! hEHK’TSHH’OO-!”  “Bless you!” He calls as he puts the shoes back next to the door, heading over to the basket of meds to get Rei’s next dose ready afterwards. “Snfff`- hehh.. hhH-! guhhh…”  Kazuki risks a glance over at Rei, noticing the way his hand is hovering slightly in front of his face, as if he’s waiting for one more. Reaching over into the basket, he grabs a box of tissues and tosses them onto the couch. “Blow your nose, it’ll help.” Rei obliges with an eye roll and sigh, rubbing his nose into the tissues for a moment before letting a harsh blow scrape out. Kazuki winces, making a mental note to buy more tissues next time he’s out. If- ‘okay fine, “when”’ he catches this, he’s gonna need them. “hH’ZSSCHH’OO-!” “Bless y-” “hAH’TSHH’OO-! RRSHH’OO-! heH’NNGXT-! Hehh… hH’MMTSHHH’OO-!uhhh… hhh… heHH-! Guhhh… hhH-! hhHDT-uhhhh…” “Christ, bless you again, and again. Are you al-” “HH’TSHH’OOO-! mmMPFFSHH’OO-! hEhH-uhhh…. Hhehh- hHH’ZZSCHH’OOO-!”  “Bless you! What the fuck Rei, why are you getting so much worse so fast?” Rei just gasps in response, ducking back into the tissues with a harsh triple that doesn’t even give him a breath in between. “hUH’ZSSHH-RSHHH-TSHH’OO-!” Kazuki doesn’t even give a blessing this time, his focus completely taken over by figuring out what’s going on. Even for Rei, this isn’t normal. Sneezing with a cold is one thing, sneezing with this level of viciousness for no reason is something completely different.  Racking his brain he tries to remember the last time, if ever, that he’s seen Rei this bad. Earlier he got a longer fit out of him with the duster, but even that wasn’t nearly as throat-scraping as this, and at least gave him time to collect his breath in between. “Kaahhhhzuki-! hUH’SCHHH’OO! RSHH-TSHHH-TSHHH-KSHHH’OO-! hEHH! hEH’ZZSCHH’OOO-!” Rei’s still desperately sneezing into the tissues, but the box fell off the couch during the commotion. Kazuki reaches to pick it up, and freezes at the sight staring back at him. ‘Lotion infused? Wait a second… Is Rei… Oh fuck-’  Kazuki throws the box on the floor, rushing to the bathroom and coming back with a toilet roll. Rei shoots him a frantic glance as he tears the tissues out of his hand, replacing them with a section of roll, which Rei quickly uses to blow his nose. Taking a desperate breath, letting another “hH’TSHH’OO-!” escape, and blowing his nose again, Rei finally manages to stop the fit. “You’re allergic to lotion!?” “What?” “The tissues dumbass, they’re lotion infused! Are you allergic to lotion?” “I guess so. I’m allergic to most perfumes, so I guess that would make sense.” “You’re what? You didn’t think to tell me this? That maybe I should know so, oh I don’t know, off the top of my head, so I don’t give you lotion infused tissues that nearly kill you? Maybe so that doesn’t happen!?” Rei just shrugs, burying his nose in the toilet roll again and letting another leftover sneeze scrape out of his throat. “HH’ZZSHH’OO-!uhhh” At the tired groan that follows, Kazuki manages to get a hold of himself. Taking a few deep breaths, he shoots Rei a dirty glare, before rubbing a hand down his face. “For future reference, telling me about things you’re allergic to is no longer optional.” “Okay.” Rei pauses for a minute, a harsh cough cutting him off before he can continue, and Kazuki hands him a water bottle from the coffee table. After taking a sip, and clearing his throat, Rei continues, voice noticeably softer, though not necessarily by choice. “Sorry. I didn’t think it was relevant.” The apology seems sincere, regret plainly painted across his face, so Kazuki offers him a gentle smile and playful punch to the arm. “I mean hey, it’s your nose that suffers after all.” Rei moans slightly at the reminder, lightly rubbing his nose against his palm, grumbling out, “It still itches.” Kazuki grabs the meds he was getting before, adding an antihistamine to the mix this time. “Yep. You’ll most likely be itchy for a while, but here, take these. I added an antihistamine, that should help kill the reaction a bit faster. The rest is for the cold.” A low groan is all he gets as an answer, but Rei swallows them, so he counts that as a win. “Maybe we’ll save the nasal spray for another time, I think right now it’ll just make you feel worse. They normally cause a few sneezes.” Rei’s eyes go wide as he nods, then immediately flinches at his head changing positions. “Still got a headache, hm?” This time Rei plays it safe with a verbal response. “Yeah. hAH’SHH’ooo-!”  “Bless you. At least they’re getting softer.” “Mm.”  Kazuki pauses, his mind drifting back to a time in his life that he simultaneously refuses to let himself think about, and can’t seem to ever stop. Back to holding her head in his lap, gently rubbing her neck and temples, back when she’d get migraines during pregnancy. “Do you get migraines?” “Yeah.” “I uh…” Kazuki raises a hand sheepishly to the back of his neck, turning his head slightly away from Rei’s eyes. “I might know something that could help.” He doesn’t get a response, but Rei is watching him intently, eyes studying his face. ‘Shit, he looks really cute like that- woah woah, no, what kinda thought is that?’ Quickly deciding that answering himself would be the easiest way to get Rei to stop giving him that look that seemed to set him on fire from the inside out, Kazuki heads to the kitchen. He fetches a washcloth from a drawer, running it under freezing water, ringing it out a bit, then letting himself drift down onto the couch. “It’s uh… It might be a bit awkward, but you lay your head in… uh…. In my lap, and then I just kinda-” Before he can finish, Rei has paused the game, and laid onto his back, his head resting on Kazuki’s legs. Both of them are stiff, the tension rising off of them enough to raise the heat in the room by several degrees. Without a word, Kazuki places the washcloth on the back of Rei’s neck, and lets his hands touch his hair, starting to run down towards Rei’s temples, pausing only when he flinches at the contact. “Alright?” “Yeah.” With that, he continued his gentle rub, a smile fighting through his control when Rei’s eyes snapped shut and a low moan escaped his lips. ‘His lips… they look so soft… I wonder what they taste like’ Before he knows it, Kazuki feels his own face start moving forward, longing to touch Rei’s lips with his own.  ‘Woah, okay, I’m definitely getting this illness, because I must have a fever. That’s the only explanation for why I just thought that!’ Kazuki rushes, heat starting to stain his face with a light pink tint, but thankfully for him, Rei remains none the wiser, his eyes still closed as he gently hums against the welcome touch. Slowly, he starts to drift off, until soon congested snoring fills the room once more. Kazuki lets his eyes linger on Rei’s lips just a moment longer than he should, before leaning back, and letting his own eyes flutter shut, their breathing quickly falling in sync.  ~~~~~~~ A harsh sound snaps Kazuki out of his sleep. Looking down at his lap he realizes Rei’s head isn’t there anymore, and when he turns his head he sees the man curled up on the edge of the couch, a harsh cough sputtering out of him. “Rei, are you okay?” A wheeze is all he gets in response, followed by deeper coughs that have him nearly falling off the couch. When his eyes find Rei’s, he feels the colour rush out of his face in response to the deep pale tint that Rei currently has. “Hey, okay, take it easy, shit- can you breathe?” Rei opens his mouth to reply, but the only sound that escapes is a faint whisper that seems to catch in his throat. His eyes are wide, panic practically seeping out of them, before he ducks back into his shoulder with another wet, rattling cough. The whistling sound when he tries to breathe answers the question for Kazuki. No, no he can’t. ‘Okay, fuck, don’t panic, think this through, what helps with coughing?’  Raising to his feet, Kazuki drapes Rei across his back, wincing at the way Rei tries with all the strength he has left to direct the onslaught of coughs away from him. Thanking god that the walk to the bathtub is short, Kazuki kicks the door closed behind them, setting Rei carefully on the ground. He then turns to the tub, turning the water as hot as it will go.  Rei gasps desperately, a harsh wheeze leaving tears in his eyes as he doubles over into himself with another round of harsh coughing. Kazuki can’t tell if the tears are from the rattling of the cough, or fear, and honestly he can’t decide which is worse. Finally, after a mere matter of minutes, but what felt like hours, the steam starts filling the bathroom. Rei is still coughing, but the whistling sound when he breathes is already starting to back down. ‘Or maybe that’s just wishful thinking’.  Kazuki lets the bathtub start to fill, walking over to where Rei is, and easing himself onto the ground next to him. He reaches out to rub Rei’s back, but pulls back when Rei flinches away, desperation overflowing in his eyes. They sit like that for a minute, both frozen, aside from the chesty cough still shaking Rei’s frail form, before slowly, Rei leans back into the touch, his watery eyes meeting Kazuki’s. Neither of them say anything, neither of them could if they wanted to. But they don’t need to. Kazuki looks into Rei’s eyes and knows what he means. ‘Your touch is allowed, just be gentle. I’m still learning how to feel safe with it.’ And in turn, Rei knows what the look he’s receiving means. ‘I know, I’ll be careful. Just let me help you.’  As the steam fills the room, Rei’s wheeze slowly starts to fade out, the cough loses some of its ferocity. Even so, Kazuki continues rubbing slow circles, and Rei doesn’t move away from the touch. Once the cough backs off enough for him to take a breath without any whistling, Kazuki stands, not missing the way Rei’s body trembles slightly when he removes his hand. “Come on, let's get you back to the couch, I’ll get you another dose of the cough syrup, and you should try to get some more rest. I have some work to do for a job Kyu asked me to finish up anyways, I’ll work on that while you sleep.” “Okay.” Rei’s voice is raw and harsh, and makes both of them grimace, so Kazuki reaches down and helps Rei stand, letting out a low hum as the other man winces at the movement. “Easy now, don’t go pulling anything. Carrying you is still a no from me, I’d like to keep my back intact.” There’s a faint hint of something that could be considered laughter from Rei, and given the state he’s in, and how expressive he normally is (ie. isn’t) it’s frankly impressive. Once they get back to the couch, Kazuki lets Rei lay down at his own pace, before getting him the cough syrup. Rei once again makes a face that reminds Kazuki of a child, but it’s better than not taking it. He stands and watches for a minute, making sure Rei’s able to drift off, before heading up to the office to finish the work he promised Kyu. Somewhere in his mind, a voice he shut in a box a long time ago starts screaming again, and he has to fight to ignore it. ‘This is love, you are in love!’  ~~~~~~~ “hH’SHH’UHH-!” A hoarse sneeze alerts Kazuki that his patient is awake again, pulling him out of the spiral his mind had chosen to wander down. Making his way downstairs, he’s relieved to see Rei sitting up, a lot more colour in his face. “How are you doing now? You gave me a bit of a scare. Ya know, for a smoker who seems to have remarkable tolerance to cigarettes, you sure have weak lungs!” Rei opens his mouth to answer, but all that comes out is a hoarse rush of air, followed by a deep, voiceless groan. A laugh escapes Kazuki’s lips before he can stop it, earning him a dark glare from the man sitting on the couch rubbing his throat. ‘This funny to you?’  Yet again, no words are needed for Kazuki to know exactly what Rei means. “Yes, in fact, it is pretty funny to me. You know that old saying, ‘your face will freeze that way’? Maybe this is the voice equivalent. You don’t use it enough, so it’s decided to just up and pack its bags!” Rei shoots him another glare, but this time there’s a hint of humour in it that he isn’t able to suppress. Kazuki winks at him, before checking the alarms he’d set on his phone for meds. “It’s gonna be another few hours before I can give you another dose of anything, so I think you’ll just have to put up with this for now.” “Well… at least… you’ll get… what you always… wanted… to talk without… interruption…”  The words are strained, and seem to scrape against his throat enough to make Kazuki audibly gasp. “Hey, woah, no no no. No more talking, not only is that extremely bad for you, but christ man, it sounds horrible. Don’t do that to yourself, you’re just gonna wreck something beyond repair.”  “Aren’t… you usually… on me… about not… talking enough…”  “Yeah but this is different! Seriously, it sounds painful. You should rest it, and drink some more water, try to give your throat a bit of a break.” Rei just nods this time, hand still lightly rubbing his throat, apparently done trying to fight his body on this particular matter. ‘Probably good, seeing as this is one fight he has no chance of winning. Only person skilled enough to take down Rei, is Rei’.  Kazuki sits down on the couch beside Rei, who had picked up the controller again, deciding to watch him play games for a while. Kazuki starts to feel a tickle form in his throat, and decides that denial is the best form of medication. ‘It’s probably just from hearing how bad Rei’s throat is, that’s all.’ He thinks, allowing himself to drift into the world of denial a little deeper. His thoughts are interrupted by… actually, he doesn’t know what by. There’s no actual noise, nothing has happened that should have brought him crashing back into the real world. Fully putting his gaze on Rei, Kazuki suddenly realizes what pulled him back in. “Bless you.” “heH’SHH’uhhh-!” Rei’s eyes meet his with a confused look. Kazuki just chuckles, letting himself indulge in a moment of pride for being able to read him that well. It started with a slight tremble around Rei’s eyes, followed by his nose twitching, and finally a slight gasp in his normal breathing. Patterns that Kazuki didn’t even realize he had memorized, and yet, it came so naturally to him.  While his gaze was already on Rei, he let himself look the man over. His shoulders were tight, like normal, but there was a slight shudder to them that made him reach over and drape a blanket over Rei’s legs. This time he got a low hum in response, reaffirming that he was correct on that assessment. Then there was his throat, which, while he wasn’t talking, was still slightly moving, almost as if he was swallowing constantly. Kazuki reaches over to his side of the couch where he had seen Rei place the water bottle earlier, and hands it to him, blushing a little at the look of pure confusion that met him once again. “You look like you need it… Am I wrong?” There’s no response, he didn’t expect one, but the way Rei’s hands loosen their grip on the controller after he drinks is all the answer Kazuki needs.  “Bless you.” “hH’SHH’uhhh-!”  “And again, and once more.” “hEH’SHH’uhhh-! Hehh-! hH’SHH’uhhh-!”  Rei gives him a withering look, but Kazuki just laughs it off, gently ruffling Rei’s hair, before pulling his hand back with a clearing of his throat. ‘Why did you do that?!” “So- uh- I have a bit more work to do upstairs. I’ll come back down when it-” Suddenly he pauses, a far away look glossing over his features, before snapping to the side with a-  “hih’ISHH’iew-! Tishh’iew-! hAH’ISHH’IEW-! Oh, bless me.”  Blushing slightly at the stare Rei points his direction, Kazuki gives a light shrug. “Don’t ask, I’m not sick, just a few sneezes, it can happen to anyone!” This time Rei definitely didn’t need words to convey his point, the eye roll said it all clearly.  ‘Whatever you say.’ Kazuki elects to ignore this one, settling instead for finishing his earlier sentence. “I’ll come back down when it’s time for you to take some more meds.” Rei nods, then gives Kazuki a look that nearly melts his entire being. The meaning of this one was also clear, and struck him right to his very core. ‘Thank you.’ “You’re welcome.” He whispers back, heading upstairs, and deciding he’ll attribute the fluttering in his chest to the cold. Better to admit that he’s catching an illness rather than the alternative… but the little voice inside him starts screaming once again: ‘You’re in love, you’re in love, you love him!’ 

[crumb-crumblet-s-crumbington]

bumblebees first day out of sublevel 50

[cookieclover]

"Mute B-127 AU" part 3 (TW: Blood)

What if B-127 was a little more annoying, and talked a little bit too much?

Part 3 of the "Mute B-127 AU", where I made Sentinel rip out Bee's voice box vv

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[sandlake]

How I can't love this movie?:')

[th3e-m4ng0]