#awgawd

[tales-from-the-badge-shiner]

Spread em!

[* This is not my story, but the story of one of my early Training Officers, who, as it turned out was also into guys. i’ll call him ‘Buddy’ because i jokingly called him the ‘Brick Buddha’ because of how he was built. In the hyper-masculine world of police forces you need to gauge each other before you reveal that kind of detail to anyone, & it was the same with us. While we did play around some, we were better buddies than anything romantic, & a couple years later i introduced him to Rick who became his partner, & they were still together years later when i moved away. If he’s still around he’s probably long retired, & i hope him & Rick are still together. Anyone who knew him knows this story, as it was a staple of every get together& always brought us all to tears & hearty laughter. If you know the story & him, let him know i still use what he taught me, both on the job and in the bars & tell him you saw this out on the internet. He’ll know who i am, & get a kick knowing that this story is still getting the laughs]

Buddy & his patrol partner Jack were working the speed trap on the back roads just outside the city when the flashy sportscar blasted past at more than 60mph. The lights go on & they take off, stopping the car on a stretch about 1/4 mile away. Buddy approaches the driver’s window as Jack stays back by the patrol car in cover position. As Buddy gets to the window he hears the whiny voice dripping with attitude “OhMaGawd, why’re stopping me! I din’t do anything!” to which Buddy mentally sighs, thinking ‘great, a super queen.’

‘License and registration, please’ “AwGawd, why are you harassing me!” The super queen whines. ‘License and registration’Buddy repeats. ‘Why can’t you chase some *real criminals!’ Buddy mentally starts keeping his calm, as super queen is already becoming a problem ‘Last time, License and Registration.’ With a scoff and an eyeroll the driver finally starts to dig out the requested documents and hands them over. After a quick check Buddy finds the license is expired, the insurance has lapsed in addition to the speeding charge, for which is not the driver’s first offense. Buddy alerts Jack to the details and lets him know the driver will be an arrest. Jack prepares for the worst, but Buddy can only think of the verbal antics due to come from the driver. He advises the driver ‘in addition to going 60 in a 45 zone, you’re driving on an expired license, we can find no insurance for the vehicle, in addition to the six points you already had on your license. I’m going to need you to turn off the car and exit the vehicle.’ “Why?” The super queen asks. ‘Because you’re being placed under arrest and your car impounded. Now, step out of the vehicle’ “ Nuh-uh!’ the driver childishly says ‘I don’t have to!’ “STEP OUT OF THE VEHICLE NOW, SIR!’ Buddy commands of the driver, and begins to reach for the door handle as Super Queen finally exits the vehicle, and begins to stereotypically sashay to the rear of the vehicle, protesting the entire time ‘Do you know who I am? Do you know who my daddy is? I’ll make sure you’re fired if you don’t let me go right now....’Buddy has heard it all dozens of times before and is immune to the often-used threat. “Hands on the hood of the car’-before the driver can say anything Buddy’s hand in the middle of the driver’s back balances him forward, so his hands are suddenly on the hood of the car. As Buddy taps the inside of each leg with his foot he tells the driver ‘Spread ‘em’ the driver has continued his dialog. ‘Spread ‘em!’ Buddy commands again, & finally Buddy loses his cool ‘SPREAD EM LIKE YOUR BOYFRIEND’S BACK HERE!’...Buddy immediately thinks ‘oh shit’ not worried about the wide-eyed driver, but worried he just outed himself to his patrol partner. He half turns to look at Jack.

‘BWWWWWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA...’ Jack is falling on the hood of their patrol vehicle doubled up laughing. Buddy was able to cuff the stunned driver, as Jack is sliding off the car down to the ground in uncontrolled laughter. Getting the now silent driver into the backseat of their vehicle singlehanded Buddy realizes he’s safe from any suspicion as Jack, tears streaming down his face tries unsuccessfully to contain his laughter. On the ride back to the station, any time the super queen even starts to say a word, Jack bursts out laughing again. By the time they arrive the driver is deflated & just wants to be away from these officers that turned his arrest into the best joke that will make the rounds at the station. Any stiffness or lingering machismo is gone from Jack, & the story with the quote begins to spread, as Buddy just tries to shrug it off and continue with their day. At some time later, Jack was one of the first other officers that Buddy shared the fact that he preferred guys & by then they were so tight of friends that Jack didn’t even react to the statement. Jack even ended up in the ‘wedding party’ of Buddy & Rick’s ceremony....all because a slip of the tongue and a smartass comment on an arrest.

[pocketlikeyoustoleit]

Yo dude!!! I just want to say that I love your comic!! I'm wanting to try and do some comics in the future, so yours really inspire me! (also might morty is such a precious lil bean) So, I hope you don't feel too down, my friend.. I know the feeling of demotivation when your art doesn't get noticed like you would like it to. But, your art is so amazing, you are so talented in creating cartoons and illustrations and you always inspire me. Sending good wishes and hugs!

AWW DUDE,,, ASDFGFDSAS THIS MADE ME REALLYHAPPY TYSMMM;;; AWGAWD AHH<33333333

[ja-nel]

#awgawd @ah_god_ #pdxlive #pdxmusic #pdxmetal #headbanger Portland is metal AF. ❤✌ (at White Owl Social Club)

[moonraccoon-exe]

Lets all just give up and make the baby Au a headcanon like really its a must. Like I imagine Ignis will buy cute clothea for them but his bf at first like "Iggy you're going too far now" then when Gladio saw one of this cute blue shirt that matches Noct's large baby eyes he just take that shirt then thrust it at Ignis's face. Cause Gladio is actually a sucker for cute things. They even bought a yellow and black chocobo pjs for noct and prompto respectively.

“Ignis, you’re going too far. The status will fade sooner or later, there’s no need to- holy mother of all the Iron Giants on the sacred land of Eos, this shiRT IS EXACTLY THE SAME BLUE THAN NOCTIS’ EYES, DO YOU SEE, OMG, LET ME COMPARE, HERE….AAAAAAAAAHIT’STHESAMECOLOR IGGY WE HAVE TO BUY IT LOOK”

And the shirt landed full on Ignis’ face, lol.

“IT’S CHOCOBO PJS, IGGY”“Ah, very accurate for little Prompto”“LET’S GET TWO OR NOCT WILL BE JEALOUS”“Let’s get four”“Awgawd yes”“Holy…mother…of…Shiva, GladiOLUS LOOK”

It’s the first time Gladio sees Ignis losing composure and just fangirling and suddenly he looks too and

IT’S A MOOGLE ONESIE

Ignis bought 8 so the babies could ALWAYS be moogles.

HEADCANON’ED.

[neen-writes]

I think tumblr ate my message, but I wanted to say that I literally cried over your last two (now three) chapters of Reforged. I loved the scene on the couch, it was breathtaking, and awgawd, when Gajeel smelled Jose's scent I was like "noooooooooooo". I loved the first version, but I think I love the revision a bit more. Keep up the good work!

Ahhhhhh thank you SO much(I did not get another message so boo Tumblr). It makes me really happy that even the subtle changes are noticeable. Playing with making the scenes a little MORE has been a lot of fun, and getting to my favorite scenes has made it even easier. Thanks so much for always being so supportive ❤️

[taniisimly-blog]

Laura: Hii you! I have something to tell you! Imani: What...? Laura: You are gonna be a grandmother!! Imani: AWGAWD

[rainwithoutendx-blog]

OOC;

THAT MOMENT WHEN KON FEELS NOZOMI UP AND SHE'S STANDING THERE LIKE...

"KON WTF ARE YOU DOING?!"

AND SHE DESPERATELY WANTS TO KICK HIS ASS.

BUT HER INNER THOUGHT IS LIKE.

"PLEASE FEEL ME UP SOME MORE I LIKE IT!"

- Shot -