#awfulness aside you are correct that five laughing is serotonin and i need to draw it under better circumstances now out of spite

[angorwhosebabyisthis]

@atmntloric that's the one, yep! which sucks because i was actually just looking for cute content of the chimærae as a pick-me-up after i remembered cat stanley exists, and because i was word-searching i didn't realize until too late that five was in the scene at all, much less that there'd be That 😣

which, like, sucks even more because i really want to at least try to get invested in the main and adjacent cast of the first series, even when i'm having to set aside everything to do with five to do it because everything about how they interact with him is infuriating. i would! but a) it's a crapshoot trying to avoid even shittiness about that, or that indirectly harkens back to it, and b) if it's not that it's some other similar level of horrific fucked up thing that goes completely unaddressed at best, is actively cheered on at worst.

[longpost ahoy, It's a Lot]

the mogs in general and e s p e c i a l l y the vatborn; the genocide apologism in general; the entity's fuckery including terraforming the earth; nine's... everything. just everything; even moreso absolutely everything to do with the academy; john's constant enablement of abuse on small and large scale, sometimes cheering it on or directly participating in it; the horrifying abuse of most of the mentor cêpans toward their garde; adam being unbelievably cruel about his ableism, racism, and other survivors, as well as his awful treatment of his siblings including emotionally abusing ivan; the list goes on.

(and most of that is just the first series! i still haven't been able to finish even half of the second series because the level and amount of this kind of sheer mind-numbing horror was genuinely fucking me up to read. i legitimately am not sure if i'm going to even try to read all of it, because holy shit I Would Already Like to Unsee What I Saw, and i don't know how much more of that i want in my head.)

and the writers just. cannot seem to write protagonists, or characters we're supposed to like or who aren't themselves being shitty, without casually involving them in one of the Sinkholes of Awful. sometimes it's like with the above, where the human garde are made complicit in the others' abuse of five because they don't have context for either the cêpan thing or five's deal beyond that he's a traitor with bad vibes. sometimes it's bizarre out-of-character behavior, like nigel doing a complete about-face on his Fuck You Violent Racist Motherfuckers I'm Protecting Vontezza from You in favor of joining their support group to commiserate and bond with racists about his experiences wrt the group they're racist against. or, for that matter, not a single one of the large number of POC in LLR's cast going HEY SO UH HOW THE FUCK ABOUT THAT RACISM @ the other protagonists. or stuff where it's like, i guess i could see how they might be that kind of racist if you decided to make that a trait of theirs, but holy shit why the fuck would you? (see: a decent of the LLR cast's throwing vontezza and her crew under the bus to save their own skins while shrugging about how they deserve it to make themselves feel better about it 🙃🙃🙃🙃)

and on top of that, even when a character who's Doing This Shit has even a little bit of a fair point in a scenario like that, it is nearly always an obvious contrivance on the part of the authors to try to get you to both-sides against their victims while making false equivalences and steamrolling over context. five does have some genuinely shitty faults that aren't just character assassination or grooming/brainwashing (although the latter has HEAVILY shaped most of them getting as bad as they have). there are some pretty fucked up dynamics he has with other characters that are shitty on his end as well as theirs--or sometimes not theirs at all!--and i would love to explore that, partly in the spirit of fairness, and partly because it'd be interesting to play out how he could either Get Much Worse or grow past it.

......except that 98% of it is built on and completely inseparable from a mile-deep cesspit of violent, violent ableism, classism, fatphobia, and anti-survivorism--child abuse/neglect survivors, emotional abuse survivors, SA survivors, CSA survivors, trafficking survivors, cult survivors, bullying survivors, homelessness/food insecurity survivors, suicide survivors, survivors of predation and trauma in general, take! your! pick!

(there's also a case to be made here for queerphobia--namely transphobia and arophobia/homophobia--but those are undercurrents, whereas all the above is either explicit in the text or metaphor that's about as subtle as a brick to the face.)

which brings us back to, yep, the original screenshot. by that point multiple people in the Main Party have been very explicit about the fact that they will torture, mutilate, or kill him given the slightest excuse, and shown that they will happily flaunt that to abuse him and push the situation in order to make that happen if he does not completely submit and go along with it.

(this includes straight up, for-once-not-even-slightly-metaphorical sexual abuse/harassment. which i am going to snip out of the middle of the example in this post and put in the next reblog, because holy fuck it is uh. bad. it's Bad. jesus fucking christ)

[warnings for sexual abuse/harassment and CSA with details left out, anti-survivorism, murder/torture threats, abuse, coercion, suicide attempt mention/suicide-baiting, abuse apologism/enablement, almost-eye gore, Putting a Victim in Their Place, generally being fucking upsetting lol]

first we have this, immediately after they take five into custody in new york. (and also immediately after nine said he should kill himself--not just should have, but should--which definitely does not bode badly for things he would have been trying to push to happen if five hadn't disappeared. not at all. lovely. 🙃)

nine says, calmly, explicitly, and dead serious, that he's going to kill five 'if it comes down to it'--that much as a grudging, insincere concession to not just killing him outright while he's imprisoned and can't defend himself--and that john won't be able to stop him. john, as usual, having made a half-assed nothingburger about how five shouldn't die, does not take this seriously; he laughs him off as being a scamp who's 'concussed' and doesn't really mean it, and isn't a danger--doesn't even say that he will stop him.

(also of note here, especially for the next scene: nine expresses that he wants to see five humiliate himself at their mercy to save his own life. which has some uh, real gross fucking vibes, but by itself makes his motivations, methods, and line of thinking when he sexually harasses/abuses five later Pretty Fucking Clear.)

so then we get to this scene.

he is naked and completely vulnerable. he is between a hallway full of soldiers who are ready to gun him down if he makes a wrong move, and marina who is going to stab out his eye at minimum if he moves at all. while she is obviously triggered and in a bad place mentally, she makes no indication at any point--at the very least, not to five--that that intention has changed if he steps out of line. she is barely talked down from this.

...and nine very clearly wants this to happen. he's barely restraining himself from saying it outright, and that much because he knows there's a risk it'll actually get him in trouble with john. he's sure as fuck not holding back because he wants to defuse the situation, or marina's sake, because the very next fucking thing he does is intentionally provoke five to try to 'set him off.' he doesn't give a shit about anyone's safety in the room, he doesn't give a shit about triggering marina even further, he doesn't give a shit about traumatizing marina by provoking her into killing five.

(it is also, and i cannot fucking stress this enough, THE EXACT SAME FUCKING THING THAT GOT EIGHT KILLED. EXACTLY THAT. HE THREW A PITY PARTY AND GOT FORGIVEN FOR IT AND THEN HE DOES THE EXACT SAME THING AGAIN, because he does not actually fucking care about ANYTHING except getting to abuse people and get away with it, while occasionally giving himself a warm-fuzzy ego trip about ~defending people from bullies.~ shove an entire goddamn house up your ASS, nine.)

more specifically, the way he provokes five is sexual harassment/abuse. he does it gleefully because he knows that if five reacts at all, much less stands up for himself, he will be tortured or murdered or both; if he doesn't, he will have to just stand there and take humiliating sexual abuse to save himself from it. either way nine gets something he will take great satisfaction in. it's a win/win for him.

(the details of that are the part i'm snipping for the next post, because holy shit, but that is the gist of it.)

and what does john have to say about this? what the fuck does john have to say about this?

🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃

so uh. yeah that sure is some fucking context for the screenshot in the OP and it is a perfect summary of why i hate canon!nine and john more than i have words to express

(also i had forgotten but another implicit threat in that scene was institutionalizing him again, which a) holy violent ableism batman and b) is also very much in line with the kind of treatment survivors get for speaking out lol)

'you just said proudly to my face that my cêpan abusing and neglecting me, which directly set me up to be groomed later on, was a Great and Noble Tradition and that you are going to be doing it to these kids who are younger than us. fucking lol'

these fuckers: glare at him coldly, silently, and (particularly but not exclusively) in marina's case with the implicit threat to murder/torture/mutilate him, until he shuts up and ostracizes himself from the group even further

yeah that sounds about fucking right for how people treat survivors who harsh the vibe by so much as breathing about it. fuck every last one of these people

[kybervisions]

abuse of power [din]

summary: din has an encounter with a semi-unhinged new republic pilot.

author’s note: an idea that popped into my head while watching chapter 10 ,, bored new republic pilot reader. WARNING, reader really likes murder 

With the fall of the Empire and the rise of the New Republic, anarchy has reigned king. Five years have gone by and remnants of the Empire continue to appear, though sparsely. Each passing moment makes you question your decision of taking such a boring job. The recruiters said you would be helping restore the Galactic Republic and they made it sound exciting. Now, you're a glorified bounty hunter for the New Republic, and it’s been months since you last shot down a TIE fighter or encountered Imperial troopers. 

If there are any Imperial holdouts left, they’re well hidden and small. The only crafts you’ve encountered are those of beings that simply forgot to run the beacon. Which appears to be the case right now, as you spot an old ship to your right. You try to get in contact with the pilot of the craft but there is no response. 

You fly closer to the craft, “Y’know, I have no problem shooting down this craft. It’d be a serotonin boost.” 

That would be a lot of paperwork, though. On the off chance that the craft is not Imperial, you’d be suspended and an investigation would begin. Come to think of it, the New Republic has taken the fun out of your threats. 

“Hello? Come in?” 

“This is Razor Crest. Is there a problem?” The pilot of the craft finally responds. 

“Looks like your transponder isn’t not emitting.” You comment.  

“Yes, I’m pre-Empire surplus. I’m not required to run a beacon.” He replies. 

He is very cautious with his words. You take note of his hesitance to emit the transponder. He’s hiding something. When creatures see an X-wing, they are compliant, it’s one of the best parts of the gig, but it this pilot has no respect for the New Republic. 

“Yeah, that was before. Y’know, when the white devils patrolled the galaxy.” You remind him that times are different. “And, unfortunately, there are rules now. All crafts are required to run a beacon. Makes it easier to identify Imperials.”  

 “Thank you for letting me know. I’ll get right on it.” The Razor Crest pilot gvies you an insincere thanks. 

“Safe travels.” 

“May the Force be with you.” The phrase feels empty coming from the pilot. He’s probably never even met a Jedi. There is not too many of the left.  

“And I’m gonna need you to send me a ping if you see any Imperial holdouts.” You silently hope to find a couple TIE fighters. Shooting those ugly spheres makes you feel alive. No drug or partner has been able to make you feel like that. 

“I’ll let you know if I see any.” 

“Still waiting on that ping.” You remind him after a few seconds of silence. 

“Well, I’m not sure I have that hardware online.” 

“Yeah, I’ve heard that bullshit excuse before. Try harder.” You’re no longer entertained. You’ve already begun checking off items in the Rules of Engagement the New Republic officers forced you to memorize after a few accidents. 

“I...Doesn’t seem to be working.” He sounds a bit defeated, and it makes your smile. 

“Awe, that’s too bad. If I can’t confirm you’re not Imperial, you’re gonna have to follow me to the outpost at Adelphi. They’ll run your tabs.” You follow the procedure. 

“Oh, wait. There is it. Transmitting now.” You hear some clicking from his end a a voice. “Be quiet.” The pilot hushes, earning your curiosity. 

“What’s that?” You ask. 

“Uh, nothing. The...hypervac is drawing off the exhaust manifold.”

“Yeah, uh, give me a minute. Wait or I shot ya down.” That is most definitely an abuse of some power. Oh, well. He won’t be around to file a complaint. 

You change channels and contact Wolf. “What did you say the antique ship at the prison was called?” 

“Uh, Razor Crest. I think. Why, what’s up?” Wolf asks as your lips form a mischievous smile. 

“Because I’m about to add another tally mark on my wall.” You respond. “Over and out.” You return to the channel with the Razor Crest pilot and switch your X-wing to attack mode. The wings of the ship scissor open. 

“Now, answer honestly.” You warn the pilot. “Was your craft in the proximity of the New Republic Correctional Transport, Bothan-Five?” You ask. 

Instead of replying, he takes off. You laugh and immediately follow the Razor Crest. “This is turning out to be a great day.” 

You chase the Razor Crest to the icy planet of Maldo Kreis. Watching the ship struggle to fly in the harsh weather almost made you pity the pilot. It also made you laugh. A lot. “It’s not even funny.” You say to yourself, tailing the Razor Crest.

The snowstorm makes difficult to follow the Razor Crest, and you lose it after a couple minutes of high-speed chasing. “The adrenaline is certainly up.” You smile to yourself as the speed of the X-wing reduces. It seems only murder can boost the serotonin levels. 

Wolf keeps you company during your search. He does further research on the ship, running tabs and checking the security footage. How he got the clearance for that, you’ll never know. As it turns out, events at Bothan-Five happened differently than described in the daily report. 

It takes you nearly half an hour to find the Razor Crest. It’s surrounded heavily damaged and by hundreds of spider-looking creatures. You take the opportunity to practice your aim and use your blaster cannon to clear out the spiders. 

Within seconds, they’re all dead. You unlock the canopy and hop on the edge of the ship. You have your blaster rifle aimed at the only possible exit for the pilot of the Razor Crest. “I just wanna talk.” You shout. 

A Mandalorian takes small steps out of the gaping hole in his ship. He’s showing you his palms and has his blaster facing up. You haven’t seen a Mandalorian in years. Like the Jedi, there are not too many left. 

“Toss your weapon, Mandalorian.” You look through the eye scope of the blaster rifle. Now, he is very compliant. 

“What are you smiling about?” The Mandalorian questions. 

“Power play.” You respond. “Just the last time I ran into a Mandalorian I was the one with the gun to my head,” You inform the stranger. 

“You’ve met other Mandalorians?” He asks with a tone of hope in his voice. 

“One.” You respond honestly. “I’m technically a contracted bounty hunter. For the Republic. It’s a bureaucratic mess. We don’t get any benefits. Honestly, I think it’s destined to fail, so I have a side hustle.” You ramble. “Had.” 

“The Mandalorian?” 

You shake your head. “I’m the one asking the questions.” You remind the Mandalorian pilot. “I ran the tabs on your ship. Looks like you’ve got an arrest warrant for the abduction of prisoner X-Six-Nine-Eleven.” 

“However, onboard security records show that you apprehended three priority culprits from the Wanted Register. Security records also show that you put your own life in harm’s way to try to protect that of Lieutenant Davan from the New Republic Correctional Corps. Is that true?”

“Am I under arrest?“ The Mandalorian asks. 

“Technically, you should be. 

But I don’t really care.” You shrug. You drop the blaster rifle on your seat and hop off the ship.  

“Happy to see the galaxy is being protected by stable minds.“ He says sarcastically. 

“Protected? Try being held together with glue and tape.” You chuckle. 

“What say I forego the counties on these three criminals, and you help me fuse my hull so I can get off this frozen rock?” You laugh at his proposal. 

“What say you fix that transponder and I don’t murder you the next time I’m patrolling the Rim?” You smile and hop back down into your seat, setting the blaster rifle aside and bring down the canopy.  

You’ve got a feeling that won’t be the last time you encounter that Mandalorian.