#awful. worst job ever

[lydiarquayle]

anybody know if the cartel is hiring cos god being a cop fucking sucked

[demynom]

The thing about the ffvii remakes is that you will enjoy them more if you’ve played the original. You will also hate them more if you’ve played the original. It is impressive.

[koifrog]

.

[itsalwaysdark]

i like overthink everything now it makes me feel so dumb. i used 2 be able to just talk 2 ppl but nowadays every single thing im like Is that actually going to make them hate me. Yes probably. and then i just dont respond which makes ppl hate me. this is how it is

[mokeonn]

My friend sent me the Lily Orchard Dungeon Meshi final rating (I am a big dungeon meshi fan (the rating was an F+ (no idea what she was on about)))

And genuinely?? I wish I had the power to banish this woman off the internet forever. Like I wish she had a no-internet aura so every time she got on a computer it's internet was off. She needs to share her opinions among like-minded friends or keep them to herself and she needs to go outside.

[early-october-skies]

Me when we don't speak anymore by bears in trees

[mossbabie]

🌅

[sedthegogh]

.

[nereidprinc3ss]

you know the killer doesn't understand

in which spencer is so terrified he's going to hurt you after he gets out of prison that he can barely touch you. an argument ensues.

angst (+ comfort) warnings/tags: established relationship, fem!reader, mentions of violent intrusive thoughts (non-specific), arguing, yelling, use of the word rape, nightmares, happyish ending, mention of showering together, it's a bad time but it's also a good time for us woo i love angsty angst a/n: i miss posting for real so bad i dug up this draft which was mostly finished and polished it up. i think i really like this one and it was based on a request but i lost it:( i hope u guys enjoy this, pls lmk<3

Spencer is by no means happy with his sudden fear of touching you—it makes everything in his life significantly harder and less convenient and he hates that he’s constantly afraid he’s going to break you. He hates watching you hold back from attacking him with a hug when he enters a room like you used to, and he feels terrible every time you ball up on the opposite side of the couch as he reads, waiting for an invitation into his lap but too scared to ask for one (he’ll always hold out his arm for you, though—he’s not cruel.)

You’re adorable in the way you stand at the foot of the bed in your pajamas, arms behind your back like it’s not your bed too, but it makes him feel terrible. This isn’t at all what he wanted for you, and in all honestly he’s thought about ending the relationship because he knows he’s being an absolutely awful partner—but he just can’t bring himself to. Instead, he gestures for you to get into bed, and you curl up under the covers close to him but not against him, and he’ll play with your hair and read for a while because he can’t sleep very well. Eventually he’ll assume the position of sleep, but some sick part of him doesn’t know what to do with the sounds of the city and the fan instead of the sounds of a hundred men rolling and sniffing and shuffling around their echoey cells. He doesn’t understand warmth anymore, or softness, or nice pajamas or fluffy pillows. He’s starting to think he doesn’t understand you. And that’s the worst thought of all. 

So he essentially dozes for the first week, on and off, always exhausted in the mornings but what’s new. When he can’t sleep, he turns his head to watch you breathe—some beautiful, sweet creature dreaming in his bed, unwaveringly loyal to him even though he can hardly stand to touch you for fuck’s sake. You’re beautiful, and it makes him feel better to watch you, even if he can’t touch you. Not now that he knows what he is capable of doing to another person. What if he has some sort of PTSD—PTSS, thank you, Luke Alvez—induced dream and does something terrible to you in his sleep? It’s not like you’re tiny, but he’s stronger, he knows he is, and lately every time you get too close he remembers exactly what it feels like to exert the full force of that strength, and what it feels like when someone else unleashes their own onto him. 

They’re just intrusive thoughts, and in them he doesn’t hurt you intentionally, but he always feels a little bit sick now. He is so, so sick. A bull in a China shop. Spencer knows exactly how breakable humans are—it’s his job to know. If he left so much as one red mark on you by accident, he’s quite sure he’d drill down to a previously unknown rock bottom. And if he reaches that point, he doesn’t know if he’d ever deserve to come back. 

Every day it seems to become clearer that the only humane thing to do is break up with you. But for now he’ll watch you sleep—the delicate rising and falling of your chest, the way you curl in on yourself because you can’t curl into him. In sleep you look so peaceful and content. You never look that way awake, anymore. Not when he’s around, which is pretty much always. At least he can’t disappoint you while you’re asleep. 

Or so he’d like to think. 

Until one night, about a week and a half after he gets home; you whimper in your sleep. It’s so quiet he could’ve missed it, but he doesn’t, and then he watches your smooth brow furrow with worry and he knows you’re having a nightmare immediately. 

Spencer panics—before, he would have woken you up and held you and comforted you until you fell back asleep and it would have been so simple. Now he’s frozen, afraid to touch you but not sure if he can just lie there watching you so afraid and not do a thing about it. 

In the end, you choose for him—and it only takes a few moments. You’re close enough to him that it’s easy for you to close the few inches even in sleep, and maybe you’re slightly conscious but not enough to remember you’re not supposed to touch him. 

He stops breathing as you fold yourself against him, muttering worried nonsense—he catches his name, once—nestling against his chest, one searching arm gently draping over his waist. Every muscle in his body is rigid, and his thoughts—his mind goes… completely fucking blank. 

Suddenly, all he’s known, all he’s ever known, is the smell of your hair, the warmth of you seeping through layers of clothing, and the weight of your arm over him. Everything he ever was ceases to exist, and he’s just this, right now. The person you’d turned to unconsciously for comfort, so sure, so trusting that he would keep you safe. He can feel your breath for the first time in months. Slowly every tense muscle unspools. For the first time in a long time he doesn’t feel dangerous. He doesn’t feel like his entire body is spring loaded and ready to attack at the slightest provocation. Spencer allows himself to hold you, and part of it feels like betrayal because he knows how badly you need this from him while you’re awake but mostly he feels like he could cry. His thumb rubs circles into the middle of your back and your head tucks so perfectly under his chin while he studies the rumpled sheets where you’d been lying a moment ago. He almost feels like sticking his tongue out to gloat at your half of the mattress—haha, look who gets to hold her now—but instead he sighs, shakily, and squeezes his eyes shut. 

You don’t make another sound for hours. 

He’s reluctant to let you go when you begin to stir around six AM, but forcibly holding onto you is so far from what he wants to do that he manages. You roll back over to your own side of the bed, and he continues admiring you from afar until he falls asleep. It’s the best three hours of sleep he’s had in a very long time. 

Of course, you don’t remember it. When you wake up your sadness resumes, and so does the pretending like you’re not sad, but you’re a very good sport—and it helps that he’s feeling much better this morning than he has since he got back. 

“Good morning,” you whisper faintly, still blinking as you watch him longingly from your spot. 

Spencer pushes himself up onto an elbow, and you watch with big eyes as he leans over you, stroking your cheek with his free hand. 

“Good morning. You sleep okay?”

Your brow flickers, and he realizes it’s not a question he asks every morning, and you’re probably distracted by this overt display of affection, but you answer it obediently anyway. 

“I think so. I had weird dreams.”

He hums. 

“About what?”

It’s quiet for a moment as he takes in the exact spattering of microscopically fractured pigment over your irises. Your voice is small when you finally speak. 

“Do I have to tell you?”

That hurts. 

“No. But it might help.”

Coming from him? Ironic doesn’t even begin to cover it. 

You acknowledge him with a small hum of your own, studying him with soft, mistrustful eyes. 

He can’t help it anymore—Spencer leans down and gently kisses you, so tenderly, so chastely, it makes his own head spin. He hasn’t kissed you like that since you picked him up from Milburn. It’s long overdue. 

Which is why he’s not expecting you to start crying. He pulls back immediately, not far, just enough to assess your expression. 

“What’s this? What’s wrong, angel?” He frowns. Your lip quivers in a way that feels like a blow to the chest. 

“That’s not… you’re…”

“What? What is it?”

A fat tear finally traces a path down your cheek and when you speak your voice breaks in the most fragile, devastating way. 

“You’re not being fair.”

He has no neat question to summarize all the bafflement your accusation inspires in his lately cloudy head, but the wildly confused look on his face must be prompt enough.

“I’m trying really hard to respect your space and boundaries and not upset you but my feelings are hurt, Spencer, I don’t know how they couldn’t be. I feel like you don’t even like me anymore. I’m embarrassed around you because I feel like I care about you so much more than you care about me. And then you—and then you wake up one morning and you think it’s okay to act like you love me again but I can’t—I c—” you stop, obviously frustrated—now crying in earnest and lacking the words. “You can’t be mean to me. I know you’ve been through a lot and I’m sorry but you can’t treat me like that. I’m a person, too.”

His chest aches and he swallows down barbed wire.

“I’m not acting like I love you. I do love you. More than I’ve ever loved anyone or anything in my life. That’s not an act.”

It’s not an adequate response, but your words are still spinning in his head until he can’t keep up with them. He’s not used to this, anymore. The language you two had developed is so foreign now. 

Maybe he just doesn’t know how to talk to you. 

Resignation—a too-calm recognition softens the stormy look that has brewed on your face. As soon as it’s gone, and you’re looking at him placidly, he realizes he’s afraid. 

“Well, that’s not enough,” you whisper. 

Spencer feels like he’s been shot as you push the covers aside and slip out of bed. And he knows what that feels like. 

“Where are you going?” And then louder, when you don’t hear him because you’ve already left the room, “Where are you going?”

He follows you through the apartment as you march purposefully for the door, slipping shoes on and grabbing your keys and coat. 

You barely look over your shoulder as you leave, slamming the front door behind you. Things shake from the impact. A mini earthquake. 

Spencer is too stunned to follow you. 

It’s not until a few minutes later when he goes to call you that he realizes your phone is still sitting on your bedside table. He stares at it, tasting metal, because he has absolutely no way to reach you or guarantee your safety. There’s no way for you to call him, or anyone, if you get in trouble—and he fears that you’ll retaliate against him by doing something stupid and dangerous. 

He only just manages to stop himself from calling the police and asking them to start looking for you. Only just recognizes it to be an overreaction. 

Besides, he’s not feeling particularly fond of the criminal justice institution these days. If it came down to it, he’d trust himself and his team over the cops any day.

The team. They’re always a resource. If worst comes to worst, he thinks, robotically making coffee as he tries to talk himself down, and she doesn’t come home before dark, I’ll call all of her closest friends. If she doesn’t come home before the morning—the thought makes him feel sick—I’ll deploy every fucking resource at my disposal. 

Maybe that’s an overreaction, too, but he has to find a way to self-soothe somehow. Planning makes him feel better. Being prepared for the things you never see coming makes him feel better. It’s impossible, of course—but the illusion of control is stubborn and so seductive. 

Thankfully, it doesn’t come to that. 

At around 2 PM, he receives a couple of texts from Garcia that are a massive relief. 

Penelope: She’s at my apartment

Penelope: BE NICER TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND!!!!!!!

The series of emojis that follow (including an octopus?), he doesn’t even try to decipher. He simply drops his phone and sighs deeply into his hands, releasing an extreme amount of paranoid tension that had been tying him into knots. Lately, he’s had this sense that everything is fleeting—that the things he takes for granted are painfully, violently impermanent. It doesn’t take anyone with a degree to figure out why he’s been feeling that way, but it’s so all-consuming he’s not sure how to cope with it. Just a few days ago, he’d been wondering how to break up with you. Now he’s asking himself how the fuck he thought he’d be able to do that when he’s barely functioning after a few hours without you.

It’s a question he still hasn’t answered by the time the front door opens at 10 PM. It’s clear by the deer-in-headlights look on your face that you hadn’t been expecting him like this—leaning over the counter, half-empty mug by his hand, staring at nothing in particular and waiting for you to come home. Neither of you have changed clothing since this morning—not that you could—but you look apprehensive as you close it behind you, never facing away from him. The whole thing is like a teenager being caught sneaking back in by a weary parent. 

For a moment the silent confrontation stretches into the horizon, a non-specific point as neither of you seem inclined to be the first to talk. You just watch him watching you—leaning against the door rigidly as if you can’t get far enough away. But he’s too tired for this. Too worn out. 

“How’d you get home?”

You swallow. 

“Penelope.”

Spencer nods slowly, rolling his bottom lip between teeth and finally looking away. 

“You really should have brought your phone.”

You scoff, peeling yourself from the door. 

“Of course that’s what you’re worried about.”

It’s the same situation as this morning, but in reverse—him following after you down the hall as you storm toward the bedroom. 

“Wh—should I not have been? You scared me—” he says your name, barely catching the door before it can slam in his face. “I was worried about you.”

“Why?” you face him, laughing bewilderedly as if the situation were at all funny. A kind of manic energy crackles from the surface of your skin and in your eyes that renders him unable to think of a reply. “Because you thought I would get raped and murdered and then you’d be sad?”

“Yes!” Spencer yells, eyes widening as he fails to contain his frustration any longer. “That is fucking exactly why I was scared!”

You step forward, getting in his space. It jars him, momentarily—he wants to get away from you. Being angry and so close to you is terrifying. What if he lashes out? What if he hurts you? He’s seen crimes of passion. His blood is freezing in his veins. 

“Of course you didn’t give one single fuck that I left you. You didn’t think for one fucking second that I might be tired of this. That wasn’t what you were scared of at all.” For every inch you near, he backs away. Another scorned, bitter laugh from you that feels like poison coursing through his entire circulatory system. You notice everything, eyeing him up and down as he cowers from you. “What is this, Spencer? If you hate being near me that much, just fucking break up with me.”

You’re close enough that he can see the tears welling in your eyes, but he’d know they were there even if he couldn’t observe them. He would hear it in your voice. He would feel it. But he can’t do anything about it. Right now, he’s paralyzed. 

“If the only thing holding you back is wanting to spare my feelings, just fucking do it. This isn’t better. I don’t give a fuck if it’s hard for you. It’s hard for me, too, but I’m not just going to ignore it anymore.”

There’s no more room. The wall is at is back. 

“Honey, please back up,” Spencer breathes. Last time his back was to a wall, he’d been gagged and beaten. Don’t lash out. She never hurt you. It wasn’t her. 

“Don’t tell me what to do!” you shout, as tears begin to spill over your cheeks. “Either break up with me or stop telling me to go away!”

At that moment, as you break down and your words become muddled with sobs, you raise your fist. 

Spencer watches it approach his shoulder as if in slow-motion. 

On instinct, he catches your wrist.

There’s a lull as he waits for something to explode, for something to go terribly, deeply wrong—

But it doesn’t. 

He realizes his grip is gentle. He realizes you’d never actually hurt him like that. He realizes how little resistance he’d found when he stopped what was sure to be nothing more than a petulant, petty bump against his shoulder—a maneuver that wouldn’t have hurt in the slightest. It was nothing more than a desolate, childlike display of feelings bigger than you know what to do with. 

In the second that it takes him to realize all of this, to realize he is not endangering you in the slightest, nor you him, you’ve begun to truly sob. Standing just inches from him, head angled down as he holds your wrist carefully, you are the picture of a girl who has been running on empty for a very long time and has nothing left to give. Spencer twines his arms around you, tucking your head under his chin and slowly rubbing your back like he’d never forgotten how to hold you. It stuns you, and the tears pause for just a second—before you’re wrapping desperate, weakened arms around him and sobbing even harder, albeit silently, into his shirt. 

“I don’t want to break up,” he whispers, his own voice shaky with understated emotion. “I’m sorry. Please don’t say that. I don’t want that.”

“What’s wrong with you?” You cry, a desperate plead caught between sobs that wrack your body against his against the wall. And he knows it’s not an accusation. It’s not an insult. It’s a question borne of confusion and fear. It’s what a child might ask a sick dog while tears stream down feverish cheeks. And it’s completely appropriate, considering he never tells you anything anymore and he’s only just realizing how scary that must be. Spencer is back from prison but you may as well still be living alone for all that you know about him. He tangles a hand in your hair and holds you against his chest, breathing you like nitrous oxide. 

“I don’t know,” he whispers. The room beyond blurs as he stares at nothing, focused only on the tingly euphoria of feeling you under his hands clashing with the ever-present and crushing shame that he couldn't do it sooner. “I don’t know. I’m sorry.”

“I don’t want you—to be sorry.” Shuddering breaths and gasps still cleave your sentences in half, and Spencer listens so intently he thinks there might be harmonics hidden in the layers of your voice. He clings to every syllable like you’re wielding the word of god in a five-foot-something body. “I just miss you so m—much. I want you to—to love me.”

“I do,” he promises immediately, lips pressing to your ear. “I do love you. So much. So much.”

When you don’t respond, he’s not exactly surprised. He almost asks what he can do, what you need—but is quite sure that’s not the right move. Instead he doesn’t say a thing. Only holds you.

Later, you’ll pull back and he’ll swim in your teary gaze, and then kiss you. He’ll trace silent apologies into every inch of your skin under the torrent of the shower, and he’ll do whatever it takes to make you understand. But for now, for the first time in months, you’re holding each other, and that’s all either of you need.  

[teruthecreator]

i’m going to fucking die i think

[clenastia]

self confidence is a skill that can be learned and you have to let yourself and your art exist distinct from how others perceive it. you will never exist or create in a way that nobody criticizes and that is NOT a bad thing. you obviously care a lot about your work or you wouldn't fret over it this much, but fixating so heavily on the potential opinions of people you made up to criticize you isn't healthy and isn't doing you any good. you're allowed to set that weight down and I truly believe you can do it.

I do try! when i catch myself spiralling i generally try to forcfully redirect my thoughts, even if it means completely ignoring whatever triggered it, but unfortunately sometimes i feel like im stuck in a loop because thinking of getting published triggers spirals of anxiety so i cant think too much about it which means i never get around to DOING it which makes me upset because i've always WANTED to get published, but when i try to seriously consider it i get all tangled up in the anxieties and ugh.

in all honesty i fell into the trap of thinking therapy would be a quicker fix than it is, where the therapist could give me a list of steps to do and my anxiety/issues would go away once i did them. so i put a bunch of unrealistic expectations on therapy but unfortunately there IS no magical list of steps to making your brain work right. you just. gotta wake up every day and push your way through the spirals and face the things you're afraid of. meds help, for sure, i don't get panic attacks anymore and the anxiety doesn't stress me out so much i end up crying or shutting down most of the time. but like. everything else, the solution is just: ignore it. keep trying. and there's no. fucking. steps to just. "do these three things and your brain will work like a neurotypical one!" and it fucking sucks and i hate it and i still gotta keep trying if i wanna get anywhere.

I haven't been on meds for a full year yet, and therapy less than that, so im sure with time I'll get to a place where i CAN push through those specific fears and get to where i want to be, and that in a lot of ways i'm still just rushing things and wishing i could be better NOW instead of having to put in months and years of work.

a lifetime of self-worth issues don't get resolved with pills and six months of therapy, but sometimes its just so GODDAMN unfair and i just want a magic cheat sheet to getting better :(

or maybe someone who can do like. literally everything for me so i don't have to face it myself lol.

can there be a business for that? like. be your own ghost writer. someone else gets all the credit and hate mail and deals with all the publishers. but you get to write your silly little stories and still make profit.

that'd be nice xD

totally ripe for abuse and probably actually a terrible idea but like. in an idealistic way. it'd be nice. y'know?

[obsessivevoidkitten]

Cop More than a Feel

Kinktober Day 10: Spitroasting Two DILF Cop Alpha Yanderes x Gender Neutral Omega Reader CW: Noncon, omega discrimination, bigotry, a/b/o dynamics, musk, pheromones, abuse of authority, spitroasting, oral sex, threesome, knotting, general yandere behavior, reader fucked big stupid Word Count: 2k (Hope you guys enjoy this!)

You were in your car, a quiet moment of dread before going into work. It had become something of a daily tradition. You knew it would be another day of being belittled and harassed but if you gave up now it would be like admitting to all the people who told you you couldn’t amount to anything that they were right. You were an omega who had put themselves through the rigorous training to be a police officer, and you had managed to land a job in a short staffed department.

But no matter what you did or how many times you had proved yourself, you were still treated as a glorified secretary. The most dangerous thing you had ever been allowed to do was to go and get doughnuts and coffee by yourself.

It was humiliating. But it was not the worst thing that you had to put up with.

The worst of it were the snide remarks you could hear them make. Not even out of earshot, they didn't care if you heard. Awful comments about how you should be happy to even be a secretary around this kind of work. Comments about whose knot you should wind up bouncing on. Comments about what they thought your pheromones were like without your suppressants making them nearly undetectable. Comments about what your slick tasted like.

Those remarks made you angry, frustrated, and depressed. You wanted to scream and cry, but neither of those were options, lest you validate the emotional omega stereotype. It was pure gaslighting. But as ugly and bigoted as those remarks had been, they still weren't the end of things. It wasn't uncommon for a wandering hand to slide up your thigh when you had to sit by one of the alpha officers or grab your ass when you bent over.

The only time they didn't make any crude comments or get touchy with you were the times when the chief of police or the captain were around. You thought this was a hopeful sign that some of your superiors were open to the idea of an omega on the force and that they had told your other coworkers to treat you as an equal. At the very least, their commanding presence brought you some relief. They were ex-military, after all. This was not a just world, though, and you could not have been more wrong.

When you eventually mustered up the mental fortitude and could avoid it no longer, you went into the building.

For the most part, it was a standard and uneventful day, or at least what could be considered uneventful relative to what you normally suffered through. There were still comments and lecherous hands. Just not to the extent that there could have been. Though your day was fated to get much worse as right after lunch you were called into the chief's office.

Were you finally going to be given a chance to do some real police work?

No.

You entered to find both Chief Markey and Captain Nelson were present, and for some reason, the desk had been cleared. They did not look happy at all. It was a surprise performance review. This was not the first review that you had failed, but it was the one they were most negative with.

They said that while you clearly wanted to succeed and put in effort that it simply wasn't good enough. You were constantly jumpy and distracted, on edge constantly. Not to mention emotional. No major outbursts per se, but you were constantly glaring at your fellow coworkers. You tried to point out that your behavior reflected a hostile work environment.

Chief Markey raised his voice as he replied while Captain Nelson smirked.

"That proves you aren't meant for this job, you cannot even take responsibility for your own mistakes! Furthermore..."

He then went into great detail about how you made the men uncomfortable and then laid out accusations of you purposefully putting pheromones out to seduce or entice your fellow officers. Combined with your glaring, it was basically sexual harassment.

"This is insane! They get to grope and comment about me, but if I complain, it is my responsibility? But they get to just make up random bullshit about me, and I get admonished without proof!?"

"Calm down!"

"Yeah, you're being hysterical! Proving everyone completely right. It is obvious an omega can't be an officer."

Chief Markey scratched his well-groomed beard before smirking.

"But we have thought up a position for you..."

The position they had thought of was any that involved taking their knots.

Apparently, they were completely obsessed with you. A strong omega that would produce healthy babies, so resilient. But your place was riding one of their cocks, not in a dangerous job. It's why the other officers stopped harassing you when they were around. Markey and Nelson had marked you as theirs. They didn't like the others touching you, but thought it was a useful way to get you to break down, so they had an excuse to give you bad evaluations. Of course, they knew such a prideful omega would never just go along with being "reassigned," so they made sure you couldn't refuse.

They said that they'd plant evidence on you, get you fired from any new job, and track you down to the ends of the earth. No matter what, they'd ruin your life if you didn't submit.

"But don't worry, we'll let you wear the uniform and even keep the word "officer" in your title."

Nelson stroked your cheek and wiped away your tears with a rugged calloused hand.

"Yeah, you'll be our personal morale officer and take our knots every day when not working as our personal secretary."

Markey closed the blinds that hung in front of the large windows that overlooked the rest of the department and then locked the door.

"And look on the bright side. None of the other officers will give you any trouble after this."

You wanted to scream, to fight back, to run. Do anything, but take it. But that was all you could do. Well, that and cry. They had finally won. Captain Nelson wiped away your tears and pressed his lips to yours as you held back ugly sobs.

"Typical omega, so emotional. You'll feel better after you've had some good breeding."

Chief Markey made his way behind you and attended to the task of removing your uniform.

"No... no ple-"

You had started to protest somewhat loudly but were cut off by more unwanted kisses before Nelson spoke smugly.

"Now. Now. Don't want to protest too loudly and have all your coworkers hear, do you?"

You were shivering in fear.

"Don't be scared, it will all be over soon."

Markey rubbed a teasing finger around your hole.

"Oh, you're much too dry."

"We can fix that, though."

They each nibbled and gnawed a side of your neck, The Chief from behind and The Captain from the front. Your trembling in fear became involuntary quivers of pleasure.

They could tell the difference. Smell it easily. And then feel it as slick leaked from your hole and onto Markey's fingers. He left your neck to lick his thumb.

"Tastes ripe," he chuckled.

You were in such shock by the circumstances and physical stimulation that you didn't even notice when they had pulled down their pants and underwear, large throbbing cocks on full display and eager to be buried inside of you. One of them pulled out a thick blanket from beneath the desk and spread it out on top of it. They picked you up and laid you down carefully on the desk.

Ah... so that's why the desk had been cleared.

Chief Markey groped your ass while Captain Nelson held his cock in his hand and lightly smacked your face with it, smearing your face with its scent as you tightly closed your eyes. You gasped as Markey dipped his dick into you, your open mouth taken as an invitation for Nelson to slip his prick in. It tasted salty, probably from sweat and the near comical amount of precum he was producing. There was no choice but to swallow it  as he flooded your mouth.

Markey smacked your ass hard, causing you to jolt in surprise.

"Careful! I don't want them to bite my cock!"

"Sorry..."

They started out moving in tandem, Markey's thrusts pushing you onto Nelson's cock and Nelson pushing you onto Markey. But that didn't last as they began to lose themselves and go a bit feral. It only spurred them onward when you started twitching and convulsing in the pleasure that had been forced upon you, betrayed by your own body.

Deep anxiety and dread bubbled within you, but even as it did, another instinctual part of you was demanding that you submit and let your alpha mates breed you deeply. As the small room began to fill with the pheromones of two alphas and their cocks continued to plow into you, you felt your body slowly relax and become pliant to their touch.

You flinched in slight discomfort as Markey's knot swelled inside you and throbbed as he filled you with his cum. Nelson followed suit, filling your throat with his seed, but careful not to knot your mouth and risk choking you. Though that didn't stop you from gagging a bit as his nuts emptied into you.

"Oh, you haven't gotten your release yet... can't have that. What kind of mates would we be if we didn't make you feel good?"

Markey rolled his hips, moving his knot inside you until you convulsed and moaned out softly. Once his knot deflated and unbound the two of you he and Nelson swapped positions until you were brought to climax and knotted by Nelson while Markey made you suck his cock, slick with your mingled juices.

They played with you in a few other positions for over an hour until you were just a limp little sex doll. They took you on the floor, against the wall, on the desk some more, on the chairs. Your hair, face, thighs, crotch, and butt were covered in musky alpha seed. It oozed out of your hole. You were left slouched in the chair and too fucked out of your mind to do anything but mumble and drool. You were the very picture of someone who was utterly debauched.

"So quiet and well behaved. Will definitely pass a new performance review."

"Just proves that omegas need knots and not a high stress job."

To complete your new look were twin claiming bites on each side of your sensitive neck. They wiped you clean as best they could but you still absolutely reeked of cum and musk, though they didn't want their scent removed from you anyway. Nelson clothed you and covered you up with his jacket, feeling that if you were in your right mind, you wouldn't want to be seen in this state. And while he was proud of fucking you into such a stupor, the sight was for his and Markey's eyes only.

To be honest, he hadn't really wanted to share you, even with Markey. But the two of them had been old military buddies, so they decided not to let an omega come between them.

Except for when they literally had you between them.

They had come to the agreement that they would switch who you lived with weekly and share you on weekends. And of course they'd have you at work as their assistant/secretary... and as their cumdump on slow days... Captain Nelson was given the rest of the day off to get you situated and inform you of your happy new homes. You were in no state to take in new information, poor dear, but you'd be better in an hour or so.

[rafeyscurtainbangs]

“𝐗” - 𝐑𝐚𝐟𝐞 𝐂𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐨𝐧 𝐎𝐧𝐞 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐭

+18 𝓜𝓲𝓷𝓸𝓻 𝓓𝓝𝓘

𝙿𝚘𝚛𝚗𝙳𝚒𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚛!𝚁𝚊𝚏𝚎 𝚡 𝙿𝚘𝚛𝚗𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚛!𝚁𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛

𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐊𝐒: 𝐆𝐥𝐨𝐫𝐲𝐡𝐨𝐥𝐞 | 𝐑𝐨𝐥𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐲 | 𝐌𝐚𝐤𝐞 𝐚 𝐌𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞

𝖈𝖔-𝖜𝖗𝖎𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖓 𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖍: @shawtycoreee

𝓇𝒶𝒻𝑒𝓎𝓈𝒸𝓊𝓇𝓉𝒶𝒾𝓃𝒷𝒶𝓃𝑔𝓈 𝓀𝒾𝓃𝓀𝓉𝑜𝒷𝑒𝓇 - 𝓌𝑒𝑒𝓀 𝑜𝓃𝑒

𝔪𝔞𝔰𝔱𝔢𝔯𝔩𝔦𝔰𝔱/𝔰𝔠𝔥𝔢𝔡𝔲𝔩𝔢

⚠️ warnings contain spoilers ⚠️

Kissing, swearing, pussy slapping, cheating, CNC, name calling, degradation, hair pulling, murder, blood, gore, ownership kink, rough sex, praise, change in POVs

📖 Famous porn director Rafe Cameron hires you to shoot a porno with your boyfriend at his big, beautiful house in Figure Eight.

🔪 "I'm her boyfriend," his voice cracks with nerves. He clears his throat, staring him down.

"Sure you are," Rafe smiles." 🔪

3.9K

Reader’s POV:

“What are you freakin’ out for, baby?” Trent scoffs, looking at you out of the corner of his eye. You cross your arms, relaxing a little more in the seat as you kick your feet on the dash.

”Obviously, I’m freaking out over nothing,” you clip, rolling your eyes away and huffing out a frustrated breath. You look out the window, watching as the scenery changes—weathered beach shacks and hole-in-the-wall businesses of The Cut exchanged for the luxury of Figure Eight. Your stomach twists in nervous knots—a feeling deep in your gut that your life was about to change forever.

”This right here… This is the big time, sugar. You see where we are? This man has money. You wanna be a star, don’t you? You want the whole world to know your name. Right?”

“‘Course I wanna be a star, Trent. Rafe just freaks me out.” You twirl your hair in nervousness. “I don’t know. Doesn’t he creep you out?” You ask, feeling goosebumps scatter on your arms, uneasiness setting in as you get closer.

“I mean, the man has a starin’ problem, sure, but ain’t that his job? He’s supposed to be catchin’ everything. He directs pornos… Pretty sure that comes with the territory.”

“I guess,” you sigh, loosening up slightly at his explanation—a soft smile forming on your face.

Trent grins at your cooperation, “atta girl,” he purrs, lovingly patting your thigh. “You know, baby, at the end of the day, the director havin’ a little crush on you ain’t the worst thing in the world. If this goes well, who knows what’ll happen? Maybe he’ll keep askin’ us back. Keep feedin’ our pockets. You know I’m right.”

“You’re right,” you assure.

“Well, would you look at this?” Trent breathes as you drive onto the grounds of Tanneyhill, pulling up the drive, eyeing the mini-mansion before you. It’s gorgeous, perfectly groomed, the definition of excess. It’s nothing like you’ve ever seen before, let alone fucked in. You suck in a deep breath at the monumental sight before you, riding an indescribable high.

“We’re shootin’ here?” You ask, an ounce of awe in your voice as you gaze upward. The two of you usually set up in some dingy motel on The Cut— the pair of you too used to sticky tiles, stained mattresses, and peeling wallpaper. This was far from the norm.

“What did I say, baby doll? This is the big time.” He shrugs brashly, flashing you a wolfish grin—you swore you could see dollar signs dancing in his eyes.

“The big time,” you echo, exhaling shakily. Trent leans towards, cupping your cheeks in his hands before kissing you softly.

“I know you’re still nervous, but you gotta settle down, pretty girl. You got that X factor… Don’t get in your head.” you nod slowly, drinking his every word.

“I won’t,” you whisper.

Trent looks at the clock on the dash, two minutes past two. He sighs before giving you one last push. “You're special, y/n. Ain't nobody else out there like you. Now, giddyup, time is money. Let’s go make some movie magic. Huh?”

You smile and nod, biting your lip in anticipation and excitement. Trent quickly steps out of the car, walking around to your side before opening the door. You step out onto the pavement, your sky-high Pleaser heels hitting the ground with a loud clack. You adjust your little cut-off jean shorts, pulling the fabric down before fixing your tits. You were ready— ready to star in the film that would ultimately change your life.

“You’re a fuckin’ sex symbol, princess,” he praises as he smacks your ass playfully. You blush at his words, a burst of sensuality swaying in your stride.

“I am, aren’t I,” you smile blissfully as you look up to the sky, basking in the North Carolina sun. The two of you stroll up the cobblestone walk to the front doors of the place, your nerves subsiding with every step. Trent lifts his fist to knock on the door but before he can even make contact, it fans open.

“Welcome,” you hear Rafe’s warm voice. He looks expensive; extremely handsome, his voice not doing him enough justice over the phone. “Come in.” The two of you step inside, eyes dancing around as you take everything in. “Didn’t think you two were comin’,” Rafe rasps as he slides a cigarette out from behind his ear, resting it between his lips.

“We’re five minutes late,” you whisper to Trent, who gives you a look of warning to shut the fuck up.

“If you ain’t early, you’re late,” Rafe breathes through his exhale.

“Sorry,” you mumble sheepishly as the blonde towers over you, looking down at you with a predatory stare.

“You got nothin’ to be sorry about, princess. You weren’t drivin’. Were you?” He asks as he hooks his finger under your chin, guiding your eyes to his. You shake your head ‘no’, batting your lashes at the beautiful man. “You’re fuckin’ stunning,” he praises as his crystal blue eyes stare into yours. “I’m gonna make you a star, honey. I promise,” he murmurs, making a small kissing gesture, before giving you a cheeky wink. Trent was right. This could be good for me. This could be it.

“Okay,” you smile up at him, feeling your heart start to race.

“First hallway on the left,” Rafe nods, gesturing down the way. The deeper you two walk into the estate, the deeper your amazement. Movie posters line the walls of the dark hall, porno cover after cover illuminated by the chandelier light fixtures from up above. All of them had the same name plastered in the top-left corner: Rafe Cameron. You look over your shoulder, watching as he watches you, feeling a little starstruck after seeing his successes. His eyes lift from your ass to your eyes, a smug smile tugging on his perfect lips.

“What’s this,” you whisper as you walk into the room, eyeing the setup: a two cameras on the ready, studio lighting, but no bed… Nothing. Your brows rumple in confusion as you look back at the director. “We’re shootin’ a porno. Correct? You expect me to get fucked on the floor like some kind of animal?” You ask, only half-kidding. Rafe chuckles in reply, amused by your sincere distrust in him. He let out a puff before pointing his cigarette toward the wall.

“See that, angel? Your friend goes on this side. N’ you will go on the other. There’s a camera ready to capture that pretty little face of yours. You see that hole right there. That’s a gloryhole. M’kay. This is just the first scene, though, honey. Wanna get this one out of the way. So—” he claps, rubbing his ringed hands together “—let's get started.”

“I’m her boyfriend,” Trent challenges, too prideful to let the little “friend” comment go.

”What?” Rafe chuckles cruelly, Trent's correction given so far after the fact that it’s laughable.

”I’m her boyfriend,” his voice cracks with nerves. He clears his throat, puffing out his chest slightly.

“Sure you are,” Rafe smiles. Trent’s cheeks flush with anger; you take your turn, silencing him, giving Trent a death glare. “Well, in this flick, you aren’t. She’s mine. Well, the brothels anyway. You’re just payin’ for pussy.”

Trent clenches his fists; his anger bubbling in his chest. “Yes, sir,” he mumbles, taking the higher road for the moment.

“Let me show you where you’ll be tapin’-”

“Do you want me to come with?” Trent interjects as his possessiveness starts to bleed through. He’s surprised by Rafe, that’s clear, unable to deny Rafe’s wickedly handsome looks, regardless of whether he is creepy or not. Rafe fixes his face, holding back a laugh as he catches your boyfriend’s newfound insecurities.

“Nah. I got it. We’ll start rollin’ in a second, lover-boy. You’ll keep your clothes on to start, then zipper down, cock out after I call action. We’ll go from there,” Rafe directs, his eyes never leaving yours.

“N’what’s she gonna wear?” Trent questions wearily as if you aren’t all aware.

“Jesus, fuck,” Rafe grumbles, just over a hush, getting more and more annoyed by the second. “We’re shootin’ a porno, kid. The fuck do you think she’s gonna wear?” He spits. “Are you a goddamn pussy or a porn star?”

“I’m… Sh-Shit - I’m a porn star obvio-”

“That was a rhetorical question,” Rafe taunts. “Pull your head out of your ass or I’ll find someone else to fuck your girl. Understood?”

”Understood,” Trent breathes.

“N’you… Looks like Trent’s stage fright is rubbin’ off on you. I’ve watched all your shit. Every last one of ‘em. Don’t let anyone get in your way. Aight?” Rafe throws his spent cigarette on the floor, crushing it with the heel of his designer loafer. “‘Specially that bitch,” he hums, his words like a secret. You look up at Rafe, giving him an uneasy smile as his large hand rests on your back, leading you out of the room toward the other.

You look back at Trent as the two of you walk out of the room, his emotions so clearly painted all over his face as he wears his heart on his sleeve. You give him one last look, a silent ‘pull your shit together’. He’s not gonna ruin this for me. Rafe guides you to the other room; that same hole cut into the wall, a bed flush with the division, a camera pointing down where you’ll lie. “You need some help gettin’ out of your things, sweetheart?” He asks from behind the lens, playing around with the angles. He turns his full attention to you, eyes trailing your movements.

“No, I’m fine,” you breathe as you unbutton your shorts, the splaying of the zipper making him lick his lips. He looks at you hungrily as you pull the material over your curves, cut-offs falling to a puddle at your heels. He stops himself from wanting to take you right then and there.

“Well, shit,” he praises as he steps closer, eyeing the minimal material of your panties. “These just might be too pretty to take off,” he hums as his long finger loops around the band at your hip, snapping it against your skin, making you gasp at the sensation tingling through your body. “Can I?” He asks as he plays with your panties a little more. You give him a nod, Rafe quickly running his rough digits along the fabric, tugging them to the side, imagining a cock ramming into your soaked hole. “Mmpfh… Shit. Off - Yeah. Yeah. Off, I think. Honestly, I don’t think I could make a mistake with you if I tried,” he praises, his low, husky tone laced with lust. Rafe loops his fingers around the material, dragging your panties down your thighs slowly. His fingers work their way up your leg, drifting under your tube top as if to take it off. “Pussy’s too pretty not to show.” You step back as you grab your top, pulling it off your body. The blonde smirks as you take the initiative, his eyes wandering to your exposed chest. Rafe lets out a hungry groan as your boobs bounce out, nipples hard from the chilled air. “Well, you look like a star, baby doll. There’s no denyin’ that,” he groans in a sleazy tone as he spins you under his finger, studying your curves.

“Thank you,” you add, cheeks warming up under his watchful eye, loving his attention. Rafe grabs your hand, helping you to the table, before lifting you onto the plush top. You gasp as he uses his muscles, pulling you exactly where he wants you with a heavy hand. Your heart beats faster, seeing his sly smile tugging at the corners of his lips at your reaction.

He walks over to the camera, checking the lens, catching his angle before adjusting to the perfect spot. “Alright, pretty. Let’s get this scene outta the way, and then we can all film in the same room. Yeah? I’m guessing your boy isn’t gonna make you finish like this. No fake orgasms. Clear? I need the real deal.” You nod in agreement one moment, jumping the next, as Trent's fingers graze the inside of your thighs.

“You doin’ okay in there, baby?” He asks softly.

“M’Perfect, Trent,” you chirp.

“You are perfect. Aren’t you, princess,” Rafe pipes in, shooting you another wink that has your breath hitching. Trent’s fingers press on your pearl, rubbing soft circles on top, prepping you as Rafe walks around to the other side.

Your eyes flutter shut as you try to focus on the conversation on the other side— just a jumbled mess of Rafe and Trent, nothing comprehensible. Music surrounds you, filling the small room with sound, that same noise coming from the other room as well, Rafe, setting an ambiance.

Trent’s POV:

“Focus on her… Focus on, y/n,” I chant in my head again and again as my fingers glide through her drenched cunt. She’s so fuckin’ wet. Wetter than usual. I know this pussy like the back of my hand. Someone got her excited, and I knew exactly who it was.

Sure, he’s creepy; we both knew that before we walked in, but I didn’t know he would be so fucking handsome. She wants to be a star. I WANT her to be a star, but I can’t get her there like he can. Anyone can fuck… He’s got the means and the power. Just gotta get through this. Gotta bring her home and remind her all the reasons she loves me, but is love enough?

“Trent? You good, brother?” Rafe asks, looking back at me like I’m some kinda fool. His eyes fall, his scowl shifting to a smile, but not at me, watching as my fingers toy with my girl's perfect cunt. My girl. Mine. I lift my hand to my mouth, suckin’ her taste off my fingers.

“Never better,” I rasp.

Rafe’s brows lift in surprise at the change in my tone. Even I hear it, boyish and insecure to deep and cocky. Fuck this guy. I slap my fingers against her cunt, making her whimper, letting Rafe hear her for himself. “Yeah, buddy. She’s ready, too,” I laugh, watching his handsome features sharpen.

“Alls you gotta do is fuck her. Think you can do that?” He asks sharply as he extends his hand, snapping and pointing to the mark on the floor beside him.

”You’ve seen my shit, Cameron. You know I got no problem with that; that’s why you’re payin’ me to fuck my girlfriend. Yeah?” I respond matter-of-factly as I step away from the wall, shuffling out of the frame.

A smile slides across his lips, his large, muscular arms crossing over his chest. “Absolutely,” he replies. “Just step in when I call ‘action’, Star Boy.” Rafe steps behind the camera, counting me on. “Action.” I walk toward the wall, taking her in like it’s the very first time.

“Well fuck,” I groan as I peek at my girl through the division, my cock painfully hard in my jeans from a mixture of adrenaline and arousal. Rafe shifts the camera, catching the scene as I lower my zipper, pulling out my dick. I smile wickedly, tongue gliding along my bottom lip. He may be hotter than me, but, fuck, if I ain’t hung like a porn star. I hold my long, thick cock in my hand, jerking myself at the sight of her, letting a needy moan drip from my lips. “You got a pretty pussy. Don’t you, slut?” I mumble.

I grab my fat cock, running my head through her soaked folds, coating my tip with her slick as I throw my head back. I trace my dick a little lower, tip catching on her tight hole, teasing her, stretching her out slightly with my swollen tip. She scoots a little closer, ass pressed even further against the wall, craving more of me. Good girl. My deep moan fills the room as I pitch my hips forward, filling her to the hilt. The music in the room is loud, but I can still hear her sweet noises through the hole. Hear that, Rafe?

“Goddamnit… You always this wet for your customers?” I ask as I pull out, slamming back in fast. “Or are you just this wet for Daddy?” I let out a laugh, desperately wanting to look back and see the look on Rafe’s face as her sounds of pleasure come through with every rock and thrust. I press my hands against the wall, using it as leverage to stroke even quicker, fucking into my girl fast. He wouldn't be able to fuck you like I can, baby.

I hear a whistle, catching my attention. I look behind the camera, but Rafe’s not there anymore. What the fuck? My thrusts stall; the hairs on the back of my neck stand up….

“SHIT!”

Reader’s POV:

The sounds of your pleasure flow like a song from your lips, breathy and soft, just like your audience loves. You break the fourth wall, looking at the camera for a moment, running your hands up your body, taking hold of your tits, squeezing them tight. You roll your eyes as Trent drags his long, thick cock out of your drenched pussy, slamming back in again, making you wail.

He takes a quicker pace, shifting his stance, hitting a new angle that has you seeing stars. His cockhead strikes your sweet spot with each stroke, bringing you closer and closer to your finish. “Yes. Yes. Yes!” You cry out, back arching off the bed as you cum all over your boyfriend's cock. He doesn’t let up, working you through your orgasm with precision, adding his fingers to your clit as well, your body trembling with overstimulation. You feel a second release, squirting on his dick, making an absolute mess in the other room. Trent taps your clit, making tears pool in your lidded eyes.

He pulls out, causing you to gasp at the loss of him, the man pointing his tip at your pussy, jerking his cock quickly, spurting warm ropes of cum on your pretty little cunt. Goosebumps spread across your body as his sticky cum slips down your folds. He traces his throbbing tip through you, catching the mess before stuffing himself back inside.

His large hand reaches through the slight space in the hole as well, pressing against the bulge in your lower stomach, making you whimper and whine. Your heart and stomach fall as that same hand drags back. RC etched into a gold ring on his middle finger, a crimson trail of red blood following on your belly. You scream in terror as he pulls out, you, crawling backward on the bed to put space between you and the man on the other side. “TRENT!” You shriek at the top of your lungs. You look through the hole as Rafe walks away, watching as he follows Trent, who’s dragging himself along the floor, trailing a thick streak of blood behind him.

Your hands clamp over your mouth, muffling another cry as Rafe draws back a knife, stabbing him once, twice, three times. Your eyes slam shut, and your body falls into a state of complete and utter shock. You look for a way out— the window or the door. He’d surely be walking in any second. Maybe I can jump out the window and run to the car? But I don’t have keys. Maybe I can just run. You leap off the bed, running toward the window, grabbing it, pulling it with all your might, but it doesn’t budge.

“HELP ME!” You cry out, snatching your heel off your foot, slamming it against the glass again and again, watching as a crack splits and starts to spider. “Yes. Yes,” you sniffle, relieved the glass is giving. You hit it even harder, sending shards flying all over the room.

You look over your shoulder, watching the brass handle twist out of the corner of your eye, opening slowly. Rafe stands there, staring back at you with dead, dark eyes, his crisp button-down and unzipped slacks a mess with Trent’s blood. You swallow hard, trying to push down the lump in your throat.

"Is everything okay?" he asks, playing it off like maybe you don’t know what happened in the other room. Rafe's gaze lowers, landing on the bloodied streak on your bare stomach, your cowering body telling a story all of its own.

Shit.

He lunges for you, and you bound away, sprinting toward the door, tears streaming down your face. "Rafe, please stop," your voice trembles.

"I just wanna talk..." His tone is calm and collected, more unsettling than not, as you grab the doorknob, jarring the handle open to no avail. You shake your head wildly, wiping your tears on your arm as he stalks you nice and slow. He looks down at you with crazed eyes as he foots closer and closer, holding his blood-stained arms in the air to induce calmness in you. "Don’t worry, princess," he whispers. “I’ll make it quick.”

You scream as loud as you can, your voice echoing through the house. You prayed that someone—anyone would hear you. "P-Please, Rafe. Please!" You cry, snot pouring from your nose as your emotions run hot down your cheeks. Your heart beats out of your chest as your throat closes tighter by the second. “Please," you sniffle, “don’t kill me.” Rafe grabs you, tearing you away from the door by your hair. Your entire body trembles against his broad chest, his big arms making it next to impossible to fight free. "Rafe-"

You're cut off as he wraps his strong arm around your throat from the back, his other hand clutching the knife. You feel the point of the blade prod into your back, nerves jumping at the feeling. You scream one last time, surrendering to the man, praying that he’ll make it fast. He pulls you right where he wants you, angling the two of you in line with the camera. You’re finished; this is the end. You begin to weep softly, hiccuping and sniffling pathetically, looking back at your horrified face in the reflection of the camera lens.

Rafe turns into your neck as his large knife traces up your naked body coated in blood. “Why’d you think I asked you here? Huh? Filthy fuckin’ whore.” He slides his blade across your neck as you give him one final choked cry.

“And cut…”

Rafe smiles, tossing the knife to the floor, the sharp tip piercing into the foundation. With your eyes shut tight, you slowly feel his intensity subside, his muscles relaxing as he releases his grip around you. “My girl…” His voice is like honey in your ear. Your terrorized face melts into a giddy smile as Rafe’s soft lips meet your hot skin, kissing up your neck to the shell of your ear before nuzzling in. You look back through the hole, watching Trent’s eyes shut heavily, the man reaching for his last breaths. You roll your eyes at the sight, relieved to be finally done with him. Fucking loser. I mean, how many orgasms was I gonna have to fake? Even if he tried, he didn't have it in him to make me famous.

“We did it, baby,” Rafe mumbles affectionately. “Fuck, the whole world is gonna be lookin’ at you. America’s new scream queen,” he drawls as he turns your chin, his soft, sweet lips matching yours. You groan as you embrace his warm touch, fantasizing about this new, upcoming chapter in your life. He’s gonna make it all happen.

”Did I do a good job, Daddy?” You ask through a breathy sigh, eyes twinkling.

”Oh, princess… I’m gonna make you a fuckin’ star.”

A special thank you to @shawtycoreee 💕💕💕 it was so much fun working with you!!!!! Your mind and talent is amazing. And you're the sweetest too 🤭💕 mwwwahhh 😘

Taglist (if your name is crossed out, it was not pulling up an account 💕💕): @rafesthroatbaby @loserboysandlithium @cl4uus @theeternaloptimistt @starkeysprincess @gri959 @babygorewhore @xxbimbobunnyxx @aariahnaa @pinkqutz @hyperfixationgirl @akobx @daryldixon83 @rafesgiirl @sleepiibunniiii @oxpogues4lifexo @sabrina-carpenter-stan-account @savayvayblr-blog @unrealmirrorball @romaescapes @cades-outsider @ch4rrykisses @namelesslosers @anamiad00msday @buckybarnessweetheart @floredaqueen

[jennaflare]

So Disco Elysium is the only game you've ever really liked

I get it! It's a phenomenal game with superb art and writing, and its themes are consistent and deeply explored. It sets a high bar for video games. But there are other really, really fantastic games out there. This is a list that is 100% my own taste of things that aren't necessarily similar, other than the fact that they're really fucking good. (A lot of these are on sale for the Steam Summer Sale until July 11 2024!)

In Stars and Time

In Stars and Time is a time loop game where you play as Siffrin, the rogue of a party at the end of their quest to save the day by defeating the King, who is freezing everybody in time! But something is wrong: every time you die, you loop back to the day before you fight the King. You're the only one who remembers the loops, so it's up to you to figure out why it's happening, and how to break out.

In Stars and Time is a heart-wrenching dive into mental health, friendship, and love. It's about feeling alone, and how awful it is when the people who love you don't notice (and how awful it is when they do). It's about falling deeper and deeper into your worst self and your worst tendencies, and how to come back from it.

The creator also did one of my favorite Disco Elysium comics ever, which is only tangentially relevant but worth mentioning.

Roadwarden

In Roadwarden, you play as the titular Roadwarden for an undeveloped and "wild" part of the kingdom. Monsters roam the forests and roads, and it's your job to keep people safe. On paper, anyway. Your real mission is to find out what is of value in the area, and how to take it from its people. How well you perform this task is up to you. It's an oldschool text-based RPG, and I take a lot of notes by hand when I play.

Roadwarden explores exploitation and industrialization by making you look in the face of your potential victims. You can only learn what your bosses want you to report on by getting close to the residents, after all. There are mysteries to be solved, secrets to be gathered, and hearts to win.

The Longing

The Longing is an adventure-idle game where you play as the solitary servant of a sleeping king. Your task is to wait for him, for four hundred days. Time in the game passes in realtime (for the most part). There are caves to explore, books to be read, and drawings to make.

The Longing is about loneliness and depression. It's about whether or not you decide to stay in that hole, and if you do, what you do with yourself while you're there. Maybe you'll wander. Maybe you'll stare at a wall. Maybe you'll just sleep until it's all over.

Papers, Please

Papers, Please casts you as a newly hired customs officer in a country that is rapidly tightening its borders as its fascist government tightens its fist. This game is stressful. Sometimes you intend to help out the revolutionaries when they asked, but then you got so stressed out trying to make your quota so you can feed your family and pay your bills that you didn't notice the name of the person they were hoping to contact while going through their papers. Sometimes someone puts a bomb in front of you and expects you to defuse it. Sometimes someone suggests you steal people's passports so you can get your family out, and with the horror you see daily, the idea tempts you more than you'd like.

Papers, Please is all about hard choices and testing your moral fortitude. Everything you do has consequences. Being a good person in this game is hardly ever rewarded, but not in a way that feels overly cynical. Papers, Please asks you what kind of person you want to be and what you're willing to sacrifice to get there.

The Return of the Obra Dinn

From the creator of Papers, Please, The Return of the Obra Dinn is a game where you play as an insurance investigator for the East India Trading Company. The ship the Obra Dinn has just floated back into port, its entire crew missing or dead. It's your job to figure out what happened aboard the vessel. For insurance reasons.

I don't know how to go into the themes of this too deeply without giving away too much, but the mechanics of the game itself make the game worth playing. You have a magic stopwatch that allows you to go back to the moment of a person's death, allowing you to try and figure out who (or what) killed them, and how. And the soundtrack is extremely good.

Outer Wilds

In Outer Wilds you play as an unnamed alien, and it's your first day going to space! Your planet's space program is pretty new still, so there's still lots to explore and discover on the planets within your system. There are ancient ruins from a mysterious race that once lived in your system, long before your species began to record history. Why were they here? Where did they go? How are they connected to the weird thing that keeps happening to you?

The fun of Outer Wilds is in the discovery and answering your own questions. The game never tells you where to go, and it never outright tells you anything. There are clues scattered through the system, and it's up to you to put them together and figure out your next steps. It's about the way that life always goes on, no matter what, even when it seems like the end of everything, forever. I'd recommend NOT reading anything else about this game. Just go play it. Seriously, the less you know, the more fun this is.

If on a Winter's Night, Four Travelers

In If on a Winter's Night, Four Travelers, you explore the circumstances of the deaths of four individuals.

This is a short one that took me about two and a half hours to play. If for no other reason, play it for the stunning pixel art. The game explores sexism, racism, and homophobia in the Victorian era and leans heavily into horror themes. Best of all: it's completely free!

Pentiment

Pentiment takes you to the 16th century, where you take the role of Andreas Maler, a journeyman artist working on his masterwork in the scriptorium of an abbey. When someone is murdered, Andreas takes responsibility for finding the culprit.

The game is set over 20~ years and you get to watch how Andreas' actions affect the village in various ways (who's alive the next time you come by, have people gotten married and had children...). It's an exploration of how the past affects the future, and what parts of that past we choose to keep or discard. It has beautiful art, and fans of both Disco and Pentiment often compare them.

Other games you might wanna check out

Night in the Woods, Dredge, Oxenfree, A House of Many Doors, Inscryption, Slay the Princess, Citizen Sleeper, Chants of Sennar, Loop Hero, The Cosmic Wheel Sisterhood, The Pale Beyond, Where the Water Tastes Like Wine, Elsinore, Her Story, Before Your Eyes, Pathologic (not delved into above because the venn diagram of Pathologic fans and Disco fans is basically a circle)

[ceesimz]

feels like we only go backwards

is this all you'll ever be? (angst -> comfort/fluff)

“I don’t know how many times I have to tell you, but I am done with this.” 

All of your adult life, you thought that the six month mark argument stage was a myth. Maybe that’s because you hadn’t ever made it to that milestone before, dating wasn’t your thing.

“And everytime you say that, I don’t understand what you mean!” 

Apparently it was true.

“No, you do not get to pull that card. You know exactly what I mean. I come home after working all day, exhausted, just to hear you whine and complain about chores and other bullshit. You work from home, I travel all over Spain and Europe, so I'm sorry if I forget my chores once in a while!” 

You think it's unfair that the person you are truly, genuinely, wholeheartedly in love with is the one you can't stop arguing against. Relationships aren't meant to be like that, even you can recognise and acknowledge that after years and years of failed attempts at them.

“What, just because you're famous you think you're more important than me? That your job is more exhausting? I rarely work from home, the only time I do is when you're actually in the city so that I can try and see you! How fucking selfish are you? My job is important, in fact I make an actual difference to people's lives whereas you kick a ball around the pitch and expect everyone to worship you for it!” 

The first one began when you were running late picking Alexia up after she had a meeting, her car was in the garage and the weather was especially awful that day. Maybe the torrential downpour should have been a sign of things to come, things only got worse from then onwards.

“My job IS important! It is my life, if you can't understand that part of me then I don't know why you're still here!” 

Alexia feels like the walls are closing in on her where she lays on her couch, thinks her life might end after a particularly bad argument, the worst of them all so far. For weeks, the tension had been simmering slowly, but now it had boiled over completely. She wasn’t sure she would get you back.

“Wow. Okay. You know, if you never loved me, liked me, even. I wish you would have told me to leave sooner.” 

Both of you were to blame in all this, you two knew that. For some reason, you were just too stubborn to acknowledge that fact and do anything about it. So you both sat in different apartments in the same city, lost and fatalistically melancholic about a situation that could be solved with some simple communication. One conversation could save you from this, but were either of you brave enough to take that first step?

“Dios mío, now you are being even more ridiculous. How can you say that after all I have done for you?” 

You don’t think you’ve ever hated yourself more than you did, lying in bed and feeling sorry for yourself. Your neighbours were probably on the other side of the wall, laughing at the pity party happening in the next apartment over. From this moment on, you could never take the elevator again, you think the small talk that would occur might be your last straw.

“All you have done? Enlighten me on what you think love is, Alexia, because you’re making it out to be something transactional, and if that’s the case then this relationship might be the worst fucking ‘investment’ of my life. Don’t even act like you’re some kind of saint either, I have spent the last month feeling more alone than loved.” 

That final statement from you was when the penny dropped for Alexia. It was a sentence that would haunt her forever. There wasn’t even a thing she could do about it either; you slipped your shoes on, and walked out after it. 

You didn’t mean to leave at that precise moment, you knew that was the worst thing to do in an argument. In all honesty, it wasn’t even to make a point to Alexia. What you admitted in that moment felt way too vulnerable, you inwardly cringed when the words fell out. Your only choice then, it felt like, to save the last ounce of your dignity was to flee so that you didn’t give your heart the chance to feel bad for saying that to the woman you loved.

Being annoyed and angry didn’t come naturally to you, being sympathetic did. You knew you would have instantly felt a hundred times more guilty if you had stayed to see her reaction. And thankfully, for some time, you didn’t feel regret or remorse, you were hot with rage. Alexia didn’t try to stop you leaving, nor did she follow you. 

But then, in the quiet safe haven of your apartment, those feelings began to set in. Not even the dark of your bedroom or the comfort of your duvet could fend them off, sleep decided to go against you that night and opt out of helping you. That left you with no choice but to dwell on the evening’s events, the week’s dramas, and the month’s emotional turmoil. 

It had been one of the hardest months of your life, you just wanted it to be over. Instead, the only thing that seemed to have ended was your relationship.

And on the other side of the city, a two-time Ballon d’Or winner had reduced herself to tears after the realisation that all she had come to be in football had meant she had totally disregarded who she was at home and, more importantly, who she came home to. 

In football, when you make a mistake, there are twenty-plus people that will put you in your place and tell you exactly where you went wrong. In life, there is no such thing. There is no system, only consequence. Age was irrelevant when it came to learning things. Here, she was humbled in a way she had never been before, no nutmeg or own goal could match this. She knew, the moment it sunk in, that she needed it. 

She also needed you; she needed your love, your joy, your touch, if she ever hoped to feel whole again. The pain of the night’s occurrence was almost as horrible as the longing she felt when she thought back on the first months of knowing you. All was right in the world then – she was playing great football, and she had an incredible partner to come home to. Out of all the things she missed, all the obvious things, one thing that once seemed incredibly minor soon stepped out of the shadows and stabbed her right in the chest.

Knowing that, after the day she’d had no matter if it was good or bad, she would still get to come home to you was an unexplainable feeling. It was a phenomenon she wasn’t sure she could ever put into words. Something about being exhausted or full of energy, grumpy and miserable or content and calm, and still having someone that loved her was… priceless. If she lost that, you, forever, she was sure her heart would beat a little slower, have less will to live and function. A life without love like yours simply wasn’t worth it. 

As you both lay down in separate flats, only a car ride between you, the anxieties and the doubts were the same. Your soul was nearly a reflection of hers; the same morals, the same worries, the same guilt. Only the reasons for the last two were different. You were both determined characters, at work and in life in general. Alexia decided to put hers to good use.

Alexia: I’m coming over.

Initially, that text you received only made you feel a thousand times worse. The moment your phone vibrated with the notification, you scrambled to pick it up, hoping it was anything but that text. Maybe if you were in a better state of mind, you wouldn’t have spiralled at the sight of it. Maybe if you didn’t think your relationship was already dead and done with, it wouldn’t have been the final nail in the coffin. 

Staying in bed and feeling sorry for yourself was no longer cutting it, you had to get up and move. So, move you did. You never stopped pacing for a second. You waited for her in the lounge, a room that may as well have been a shrine to the woman about to serve you the worst news of your life. Framed photos littered the walls and any surface in sight – you were always an old soul, something Alexia adored about you. The way you demanded to have photos of every single person you loved on display reminded her of her mother, it was a sentiment that never failed to make her smile. 

But it wasn’t just the photos, it was the signs of life. The most agonising reminders of what simplicities you would lose; one of her jackets hung on the wall by the door, the dishes piled up in the sink from when you had shared breakfast just that morning, the book of yours she had been borrowing to read when she came over. They all served as a horrifying mockery of what you were about to let slip from your grasp. 

You had her, and soon you wouldn’t. 

The pacing stopped then, the sudden, strange grief strong enough to break through the autopilot movement of your legs and allow the world to come falling down on you. Whoever said that heartbreak didn’t cause a physical reaction clearly hadn’t lost a person like Alexia. She was one-in-eight-billion. No amount of searching would lead you to anyone that came remotely close to the beauty of her heart, her mind, and her soul.

“Cariño, let me in, please!” The pounding at your door brought you out of whatever pit of dread you had fallen into, only for you to fall right back into it the moment you came to. “Please. I need to talk to you, amor.”

“-if you can't understand that part of me then I don't know why you're still here!” 

Then why is she here?

The sound of the lock sliding and the door opening sent a surge of relief through Alexia, though it left the second she saw your face. Eyes full of tears and cheeks reddened by past drops that had fallen, even hours after the earlier altercation. The sun had set long ago, and it had taken any remaining hints of hope with it.

“Why are you here?” You said, knowing that the confidence you tried to put on crumbled with the crack of emotion in your voice.

“Let me in. Please, amor, I can’t… I can’t.” Sounded like she didn’t have much faith in her facade either, judging by the desperation in the way she spoke. There was also a drop of disdain too that you knew was aimed entirely at herself, you’d heard it before, and even after the way the day had gone, or rather the month, it still hurt to hear your favourite person in the world to talk like that.

If she was surprised at how you stood to the side to let her in, she didn’t show it. 

“Alexia…” You started, but trailed off fairly quick. You didn’t know what to say.

“No, don’t call me that. Please, not you.” She shook her head with the same amount of desperation as what was in her tone. 

You closed the door and slowly padded your way over to where she stood in the centre of the lounge. As you came to stand in front of her, you noticed the gloss of her eyes that glistened in the moonlight streaming through the window. The way you reached out and delicately put a hand on her arm was all instinct.

“What's wrong?” You asked quietly, but that only seemed to cause more unrest.

“Qué? What's wrong?! The fact that we love each other and we cannot stop arguing! Why are we against each other when we are supposed to be on the same team? I-it’s absurd, amor, I-”

“Ale, Ale, calm down.” Your other hand came up to grab her arm, holding tightly in an effort to grasp her attention. 

She didn't deserve your time. She had neglected you for the past month, yet here you were, taking her heart and caring for it with a tenderness that would make the world stop.

“I can’t live like this anymore. I can’t treat you like this anymore.”

Here it comes.

Your hands fell away when she said that, and the roles reversed. You slipped into a state of panic, though you tried to hide it, whilst Alexia’s composure came back to her.

“From now on, no more arguing. No more arguing, no more shouting, no more of it. It is not good for us, you don’t deserve it.” She had to get that out first, then take a deep breath, before she could move on to what really mattered to her. “I love you. These arguments hurt the both of us, but I cannot stand making you cry or making you feel alone. Dios, I will never make you feel like that again even if it kills me.”

Her words weren’t registering in your mind, you were nearly in a state of shock. Only minutes before she had showed up, you were in a near catatonic state at the anticipation of the death of your relationship. That wasn’t the case here.

“What?” You murmured, crossing your arms over your chest in a way that broke Alexia’s heart once more, because it was like you did it to defend yourself. 

She tried her best to soften her demeanour, from her body language to her eyes, and she cautiously stepped over. Her hands landed gently on your cheeks, brushing away the tears there, and she gazed at you with a softness you weren’t expecting to ever see again.

“I am sorry for how I have behaved towards you and I will say sorry for the rest of my life. I can’t lose you, amor, I would rather lose everything else in my life if it meant I could have you. I didn’t recognise that in the past and I am so sorry it took me this long to realise it. You don’t deserve my behaviour and I don’t deserve you.”

She let out a shaky breath, leaning down to rest her forehead against yours as she swallowed the lump in her throat and willed herself to get through her next words.

“What I said earlier, I do not mean it and I never could. I have never loved someone like I love you, and even though that scares me a tiny bit, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I want you around, and I want you to want me around too. There are no excuses for the way I have neglected you and treated you, and I will be better. I will be better, I promise.”

“I…” You choked back your emotions and prepared yourself for her reaction to your next words. “I thought you were coming here to break up with me.”

Even though she was the one touching you, you sensed her whole body stiffen at that. You opened your eyes, not having even realised they were closed in the first place, and saw her eyes tightly shut and the familiar frown to her face. Though, there was a tremble to her chin that told you she was fighting back her sobs. 

“No.” Was all she muttered as she shook her head gently against yours. She quickly moved away then, and the loss of her was terrifying for a moment, before you realised she had just turned around to hide her tears for a moment when she wiped her face on the inside of her shirt, turning back afterward. Her hands cradled your face in the same way she did a moment ago. “No. I’m not breaking up with you and I don’t want to break up with you, ever. For as long as you let me, I will love you. I even-”

Her eyes went comically wide then, and if the moment wasn’t so serious, you probably would have laughed.

“What?” You wondered, watching in amusement as she groaned and threw her head back. 

“I bought two bouquets of flowers for you and I left them both in my car.” 

Even though you felt a little bad, you laughed at her admission. You laughed, genuinely and freely, and it felt different to any of the laughs you’d let out in the past few weeks. When Alexia moved past her frustration, she couldn’t help but join in with you. And before you knew it, your shared laughter bounced off of the walls despite the tears still present on either of your faces. The moment was funny, in fact the whole situation of both the flowers and the arguments that had been had were ridiculous.

Most of the time, you couldn’t even pick out why the argument started. Not to mention most fights were just rehashing the same points and excuses over and over. So yeah, it was ridiculous.

Alexia, however, wasn’t expecting you to wrap your arms around her in a hug she had missed for… she didn’t even know. Every act of intimacy of the last month had felt forced, with an ounce of apprehension in them. This hug, it was different. It was sincere and filled with the love that had been lacking recently. To be honest, it took her breath away.

“You’re not breaking up with me.” You mumbled into her neck where you had buried your face, a bashful smile on your face. 

“I’m not breaking up with you. If you’ll forgive me, if you’ll have me still, I’m not breaking up with you.” 

That sentence especially caught your attention. You leaned back in her arms, keeping your own tight around her, and looked up at her in confusion.

“Ale, if you forgive me. I said some horrible things too, it wasn’t only you. I was just as bad.” The blonde smiled sadly down at you and shook her head softly before moving forward to place a gentle, reassuring kiss to your temple.

“We both said some mean things. I want to forget it for now.” She whispered. You were more than happy to entertain her in that.

“Me too. I love you, Ale. So much.”

No relationship was perfect, that you knew now. But even through the arguments, the disagreements, the particularly bad fights, every moment outside of those occurrences were worth it, and more.

—

wrote this on a whim, and its... actually short? 😧 overall im not too sure about it, it's been a while since i posted something like this but hope you liked it 🙃🧡

[psychoticfemmm]

drunk on you

pairing: jj maybank x reader

summary: After a wild night of partying, JJ takes care of his drunk girlfriend, enduring her chaotic antics and relentless demands for kisses while the Pogues tease him endlessly.

The music thumped loudly in the background as JJ Maybank maneuvered his way through the crowded beach party, your drunken laughter echoing in his ears. You were practically draped over his shoulder like a giggling mess, your hand clutching the strap of his shirt while your other hand lazily waved at everyone passing by.

“JJ! I’m having so much fun!” you slurred, your face lighting up as you spotted him glancing down at you. “But I need—wait for it—another kiss!”

JJ chuckled, shaking his head. “You don’t need another kiss, princess. You need water. And maybe a nap.”

You pouted dramatically, squirming in his grasp. “Nooo. JJ, you’re being so mean. Just one!”

He stopped for a second, setting you down on your feet so you could look at him with wide, pleading eyes. “What did I just say? Water first, then maybe kisses,” he teased, a crooked grin on his face.

You leaned closer, practically pressing your forehead against his chest as you whined, “But you’re my boyfriend! It’s your job to kiss me whenever I ask.”

“You’re impossible,” JJ said with a sigh, but the fondness in his voice gave him away.

From a few feet away, Sarah, John B, Pope, and Kiara watched the scene unfold, laughing amongst themselves.

“She’s relentless,” Pope said, shaking his head in disbelief. “JJ looks like he’s babysitting.”

“Hey, at least she’s not crying,” Sarah chimed in, smirking. “That’s progress.”

“She’s definitely about to though,” Kiara added, watching as you flung yourself dramatically against JJ’s chest, shouting something about him being “the worst boyfriend ever” for withholding kisses.

“Alright, that’s it,” JJ declared, bending down and effortlessly scooping you into his arms bridal-style, just like in the picture. “I’m cutting you off. You’re done.”

You gasped, throwing your head back in faux outrage as your legs dangled over his arms. “You’re kidnapping me! Someone stop him!”

“No one’s stopping me, sweetheart,” JJ said with a laugh. “You’re out of control.”

The group burst into laughter, John B pulling out his phone to record the whole scene.

“JJ, this is gold,” John B said between laughs. “I can’t wait to show her this tomorrow.”

“Don’t you dare!” you shouted, suddenly animated, though your words were slurred. “John B Routledge, I swear, if you—JJ, make him stop!”

JJ rolled his eyes, adjusting his grip on you. “You think I can do everything, huh? I’m already carrying your drunk ass.”

“Because you love me,” you replied with a smug grin, poking his cheek.

“Yeah, yeah,” JJ muttered, though his smile betrayed him.

When you finally made it back to the house, JJ gently set you down on the couch. You flopped over dramatically, your arm draped over your face.

“You’re going to hate yourself in the morning,” he said, handing you a bottle of water.

“I’m going to hate you in the morning,” you quipped, though your smile said otherwise.

JJ rolled his eyes, plopping down beside you. “Fine. One kiss. Just one.”

You immediately perked up, your face lighting up as you crawled onto his lap and kissed him. It was a bit clumsy and overly enthusiastic, but JJ couldn’t help but laugh into it, pulling you closer.

“Okay, okay, that’s enough,” he said, pulling back before you could start again. “We’re in front of the Pogues, for crying out loud.”

Sure enough, Sarah, Kiara, and the rest of the group were standing in the doorway, watching with grins and smug expressions.

“Aw, JJ,” Sarah teased. “You’re such a softie.”

“Shut it, Sarah,” JJ shot back, his cheeks red.

“I think it’s cute,” Kiara said, nudging Pope.

Pope smirked. “You mean hilarious.”

You, however, were too busy giggling in JJ’s arms to care. And despite the teasing and chaos around him, JJ couldn’t help but smile. Because at the end of the day, you were his chaos—and he wouldn’t have it any other way.

⊹₊ ˚‧︵‿₊୨୧₊‿︵‧ ˚ ₊⊹

You groaned as sunlight streamed through the window, making you squint against the bright rays. Your head pounded, and your mouth felt like it had been stuffed with cotton.

“What the hell…” you muttered, shielding your eyes as you slowly sat up.

From the doorway, JJ leaned casually against the frame, arms crossed and a smug grin plastered on his face.

“Good morning, sunshine,” he said, his tone entirely too cheerful.

You glared at him. “Why are you so loud?”

“Not my fault you had a little too much fun last night,” he teased, walking over and plopping down on the bed beside you.

You groaned, dropping back against the pillows. “Don’t remind me.”

“Oh, I’m definitely reminding you. Do you want to hear about how you demanded ‘one more kiss’ like, a hundred times? Or how you tried to fight John B because he wouldn’t stop filming you?”

Your eyes shot open, and you turned to him with horror. “I did not.”

“Oh, you did,” JJ said with a laugh. “And you called me, and I quote, ‘the worst boyfriend ever’ because I wouldn’t kiss you in the middle of the party.”

You covered your face with your hands, groaning. “I’m never drinking again.”

JJ leaned down, brushing his lips against your temple. “Don’t worry. I think it was adorable. Drunk you is my favorite.”

You peeked at him through your fingers. “You’re never going to let me live this down, are you?”

“Not a chance,” he said with a grin. “But don’t worry, princess. I’m here to take care of you.”

Despite your embarrassment, you couldn’t help but smile at him. Because at the end of the day, JJ always had your back—whether you were sober or not.

ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅ᡣ𐭩 •｡ꪆৎ ˚⋅

since you guys loved the last JJ fic𓈒ㅤׂ 𝜗𝜚

send requests! ⋆˚✿˖°