#auv; i'm gonna change you like a remix

[disillusionedjudge]

@tarnishedxknight - continued from here

The moment Eswynn took her hand, Gylfie rested her other hand on hers, and held it with a reassuring squeeze. "I would never leave you," she promised with an ache in her heart that was becoming all too familiar. "Wynna, I would not leave you here with him, nor would I leave you behind." Oh, gods, the thought alone pained her, and she forced a small smile. "'Tis my duty to protect you, remember? I'll keep you safe."

And she would sooner take the fall if they were caught. She would say she forced Eswynn to go with her or that she had taken her hostage. She would lie and say whatever needed to make certain Vayne would spare her, even at the cost of her own life. Drace and Gabranth would take care of her, she knew, but... No. She would not allow herself to think of it. They would be fine.

Gylfie turned away to give Eswynn privacy as she rushed to change - her heart in her throat. Gods above, they were going to do this. It felt like a dream, but now... Her heart began to race, but she held herself steady. "We will head to Old Archades," she said - keeping her voice low. Her mind spinning. How would Eswynn react to Caelen? Would she still want to go with them? Would-- "There is... is someone there I need to get to. I-- I can explain more once we have left the city, but from there we will need to decide where else to go. 'Tis not safe, here, for any of us." Not with Vayne. Never with Vayne.

At the sound of Eswynn's voice, Gylfie turned to face her, and couldn't help but smile when she saw the linen sack in her arms. "Here," she said, and slung her pack off her shoulders and onto the ground. "Let me carry it. You'll need to keep your arms free." She opened her bag, with just enough room to spare, but then removed her cloak as well before she handed it over to the Princess - revealing the scabbard strapped to her hip. "And wear this. My face is not recognizable despite my name, but yours is. Until we can leave Archades, it will be safer for you to keep it on. We can reorganize ourselves once we reach Old Archades."

Admittedly, it was... strange to have Eswynn trust her so readily and so easily, and it only worsened the feeling in her chest. The way her heart yearned for her as greedily as it did for Caelen, and the way she tried to force it back. Was it wise to bring her along? Her heart would never allow her to do so, but she knew the consequences that would follow. It was stupid, and selfish, but...

"Just stay close to me." Gylfie reached out and gently rested her hand on the Princess's forearm with a soft squeeze. Her expression softening just enough. "We'll be there before you know it."

[disillusionedjudge]

@tarnishedxknight - continued from here

Oh, how Gylfie's heart ached for the poor woman. It was obvious Eswynn had been crying, and why should she not? She had been uprooted from her kingdom in a sudden betrothal - one that Gylfie still couldn't make sense of - and told she would be marrying Vayne. That alone was awful enough, but to be far away from family? To be trapped in the Empire that had been her enemy? Of course, Eswynn would be miserable.

Even still, she had not expected the Princess's response, and blinked in slight surprise at her defiance beneath her otherwise flat voice. It was clear to Gylfie she was not at all jesting, even as the Princess seemed to process what she had just said and tried to take it back. But... gods above, it just made her heart ache more. How could she fault her for wishing such a thing? The poor woman was heartbroken - that much was as clear as day.

And what will you do about it?

"There is nothing to forgive," Gylfie dismissed, though not unkindly. Almost gentle. "But that is something I will not do. I can bring you wine, if you so desire, but nothing of any... potency." She tilted her head slightly as she studied Eswynn, and did well to mask her concern. She was... submissive - something Vayne would certainly appreciate, to be certain, as much as the thought made her ill - but that worried her. She would not survive with such a disposition. She would be eaten alive.

But... was it only the fate of her people she feared? Or had Vayne done something to already frighten her?

The thought alone was almost enough for Gylfie to see red, but she held her tongue as she shook her head. Careful to mind her own temper, lest she frighten Eswynn herself. "I shall not repeat this to anyone, my Lady, let alone Lord Vayne. That, I promise you." Mayhap she ought to be careful with her tongue, but... Eswynn mentioned minding herself with Vayne's guidance, and that was enough for Gylfie to tense - her eyes flashing as her jaw clenched, even if only for a moment. It was more than clear by the way she struggled out with it that she held no fondness for him, either, and that was enough to make her decision.

"Lady Eswynn," she said - her voice quiet, "if Lord Vayne crosses a line, do not hesitate to tell me. I understand if you do not trust me, but I am here for you. Mayhap my loyalty is bound by duty, but that does not mean I will turn a blind eye if you need help." Was it much to promise such a thing to a foreign Princess? Especially before she was even married to Vayne? Of course it was. How easily Gylfie's promise could be twisted and place her in trouble if Eswynn decided to report her to Vayne or someone else, but she hardly cared. Vayne already knew how much she despised him - what was there for her to lose?

She ignored the obvious answer that gnawed the back of her mind, and with a slow breath, offered a small smile. A distraction was certainly something she could give, and something she would gladly take. "What would you like to know?" Gylfie asked as she moved closer, though still kept a respectful distance. She still needed to mind herself, after all - Eswynn was her charge, but she was still a Princess. High nobility or not, Gylfie was beneath her, and she would give her the respect she deserved. "You needn't thank me, my Lady. 'Tis an honor to be entrusted with your care." Even if she had been assigned such a task out of pettiness. Eswynn certainly seemed kind enough, and she doubted she would carry herself with any sort of arrogance the men of her blood did. "Would you prefer if I called you Wynna?"

[disillusionedjudge]

And Again | closed reply

@tarnishedxknight - continued from here

Was she going mad?

Gylfie nearly dropped her sword in shock as this being - this Munoh, this Occuria - revealed themself to her. As she recoiled in surprise, and staggered back. Was she-- No, she had to be hallucinating. She had pushed herself too far, and either this was a dream or she... she...

There was something in the way their voice seemed to resonate through her mind. A gentleness that was almost soothing. An inquisitiveness that was rather endearing. A part of her was still resistant to them - resistant to the idea that an Occuria took interest in her - yet... it was the way she felt that made it clear she wasn't dreaming or hallucinating. Her body ached something horrid. Her fresh scar radiating pain that kept her jaw clenched tight, despite it all. Her head still spun with exhaustion and her body fought for every ounce of energy to keep her standing. Yet, she remained still - remained silent - as she listened and struggled to process the reality of it. To understand what it was this Munoh was telling her. That... they wanted to aid her.

Her. An Occuria wanted to aid her.

Her hands began to tremble, yet... she found the strength to sheath her sword. Was she processing what was happening? No, not even close. Her mind still struggled to wrap around this was real. That she had managed to draw the attention of a being so ancient and powerful, and that they wanted to help her. Would it be better if she ran with what little strength she had left? Could she even run? She fumbled for her helm, barely even realizing what she was doing, and pulled it off - holding it tight within her shaking hands as she stared, wide-eyed. Her heart racing in her chest.

"I..." Gylfie stumbled over her words, and drew in a shaky breath. Should she bow? Offer her respects? Plead for them to leave her be? Her head spun, but she was in no condition to make sense of her own thoughts. But... they wanted to help her.

It seemed too good to be true.

She tried again. "What... what is it you ask in return?" Her voice was quiet - unsteady and cautious. Heavy with exhaustion that was more than evident in her eyes and face. In the way her shoulders seemed to sag beneath her armor. "You offer much, and I... I am honored, Munoh-" gods above, this was an Occuria and she needed to mind her tongue, "-but what is it you want from me in turn? I... I have no much to offer."

Was it wise to accept aid and companionship from an Occuria? Especially from one who broke away from the rest? Were they dangerous?

Her heart continued to pound, but Gylfie didn't move. Curious, fearful, and hesitant all at once.

[disillusionedjudge]

@tarnishedxknight - continued from here

As Vossler stared steadily at her, Gylfie returned it in kind. Her gaze cold and unblinking. Her posture stiff and body placed firmly between him and Ashelia. Try something, she challenged silently, and lifted her chin. I will not hesitate to reveal your deceit. But, oh, how that was becoming more and more of a temptation the longer she spent around him in general. Yet... it mattered not how she felt about him or his involvement. About Ashelia or any of the others. It was a piece - a move to be made in a game he had gotten tangled in, and she knew best to hold it close to her chest. And if he was at all clever, he would recognize it, too.

She offered no thanks as he finally agreed to his unwanted task, and instead remained unwavering as he tried to look at Ashelia once more. Careful to keep herself positioned between them so her armor obscured his view. Careful not to give him any satisfaction over the Princess's discomfort. And, still, she remained silent even as he turned and went ahead of the group - her gaze ever watchful until he disappeared from sight. But the breath of relief from Ashelia was not lost on her, and for a moment, that alone gave her a brief moment of hesitation. A brief moment to question if it was worth holding one piece close, before she quickly shoved that thought aside.

If she were lucky, he would spare her the trouble and make the move for her.

Gylfie's gaze finally turned toward Ashelia as the Princess thanked her, and her hardened expression seemed to soften ever so slightly. A more worried glint in her cool gaze as she gave a dip of her head in response. Her attention turning back to the desert before them. "I thought you in need of a reprieve," she said quietly - keeping her voice low to avoid attention from the others. "His lack of boundaries was painful to watch." And unsettling, she thought, but held that to her tongue. Instead, she allowed for a pause, and glanced to Ashelia once more. Her brows creased as she studied her. "Are you alright?"

[disillusionedjudge]

@tarnishedxknight (Ashelia) sent: “If I may be so bold, Judge, but is this really necessary?”

"For your safety, yes." Gylfie held out the hilt of one of her twin daggers toward Ashelia - one eyebrow quirked at her hesitation. "You fight well with a sword, but you will be better off knowing a variety. Besides, if you find yourself with a dagger and attempt to use it like a sword, you are the one who will end up hurt."

It was simple enough in her mind, but perhaps it was a given with her military history. Though, if the Dalmascan thought she was requesting her to actually fight at that moment...

Ah, perhaps that was it. It would certainly seem that way, she supposed, with the way she had broached the subject and promptly offered her a dagger. And while it would have been preferred to get the Princess to fight to better learn how to properly use such, Gylfie wasn't willing to tempt injury without her armor. Another reason to mourn it and curse Ghis's name for taking it from her before he destroyed his own fleet, really, but that was quickly shoved from her mind before she could sour herself over it.

"I am not asking you to spar," she explained quickly, "but I want you to mimic me and get used to the feel of it. 'Tis good to have experience with this."

[disillusionedjudge]

@tarnishedxknight - continued from here

Never before had Gylfie felt so helpless. Too late had she noticed Drace's anger. Too late had she noticed that glint in her eyes and, perhaps, had she noticed it sooner, she could have stopped her from challenging Vayne. But he had been smart - he had brought up Larsa specifically to get a reaction. To secure his seat of power, to assert himself over all of them. With a Judge Magister dead from his orders and the unofficial head of them all being her chosen executioner--

She could not fault Gabranth for following Vayne's orders, for he had no choice. But she could not bear to watch him draw his dagger. Could not bear to see him strike Drace down where she stood, even as her body fell to the ground. Perhaps that made her a coward, but it was the only way she could keep her composure without flinching at the sight of blood. Without letting her rage take over if she met Vayne's smug stare or her father's silent challenge. Without letting her tears show as her heart all but shattered and as she did everything she could to keep her breathing steady. One wrong move and she knew Vayne would not hesitate to order Gabranth to kill her as well, if just to further break him.

But how it took everything in her not to snarl at Vayne's disrespect--

She was stopped before she could follow Gabranth, though the sight of him dragging Drace's body was nearly enough to bring her to her knees. She was no stranger to death, but, gods above, to see someone she loved--

"Do you think she can be trusted?"

Gylfie stood still as her father's voice rang out. Cold and distant and unfeeling. There was a thick knot in her throat, hot fury burning in her chest as she clenched her jaw tight and did everything she could not to clench her fists. Of course you would be so eager to see me gone, she wanted to sneer. She turned her head, and finally caught Vayne's stare.

Oh, how she wanted to kill him.

"Well, Gylfie?" Vayne's voice was honeyed - eyes lit like the cat that caught the canary. "What say you?"

Her heart pounded almost painfully now, but she was careful to keep her expression unreadable despite the storm in her heart. Despite the way her anger threatened to choke her. "I would never dream of betraying you, Excellency," she said just as silkily, and gave a respectful bow of her head. "My duty is to the Empire and her Emperor. Not to fools who dare raise their sword against." Gods, Drace, I'm so sorry-- "It was a death well deserved."

Takrin snorted and she could feel his scowl upon her, but she kept her gaze fixed on Vayne. Unable to tell what truly was going on in his mind as he stared back. She was not fool enough to think he believed her, but--

He tilted his head, and waved his hand dismissively. "Be sure to send Gabranth back when he has finished. There is much else to discuss."

Her stomach lurched, but she kept her mouth shut. Instead, she offered one last bow as his attention turned to the other Judge Magisters, and quickly made her escape. Blood roared in her ears, though she dared not let herself even think about everything that had just occurred. She could not let herself falter. Not when there was too much at stake. Not when--

She had not been held up long enough to lose track of Gabranth, and it took her not long to catch up to him. She was ever the hound's faithful pup, after all, but even she knew better than to attempt to aid when he was in such a foul mood. Her distance from him making it clear to those around them it was unwise to offer assistance. But she could see that his fury was not quite right. Perhaps tempered or aggravated by his grief. His guilt. Or, perhaps, something was not all it appeared to be...

Something was not right with Drace, either. Gylfie knew well what death did to the body it left behind, and... it seemed not to have touched Drace like it had anyone else. Her skin was still flushed with color, rather than ashen. Her eyes closed, but Gylfie could swear she saw the tiniest of movement beneath her eyelids--

She dared not hold onto the hope it had been a ploy in case she was wrong. Her heart... Her heart simply could not bear to be wrong. But the minute they reached Gabranth's private quarters and the door was locked, did Drace sit up and--

Gylfie was at her side in an instant. Her vision blurred with tears as she grasped her hand, unspoken apologies burning in the back of her throat as it choked her. She was alive. Gods above, she was alive, but she knew that if anyone were to discover this, it would mean the death of them all. But... she could hardly find it in her to care as she sat beside Drace and turned her attention to Gabranth. Doing her best to collect herself with a sharp breath through her nose as she blinked back her tears, and felt her heart shudder in her chest. She could not lose them. She would not lose them.

"Vayne requests your presence once you have finished," she said at last - her voice hoarse. "I know not about, but it involves the other Judge Magisters. If I were to guess..." Her gaze flicked back to Drace, her brow furrowed tight, and, oh, how her heart ached to see her so dazed. "I would fathom it has something to do with Lord Larsa." Her mind spun. She hardly felt there with how her emotions were tossed about like waves against the shore - torn between wanting to stay by Drace's side and trying to pull Gabranth back. But her attention snapped up to him as he spoke, and she felt her throat tighten. How rare it was for him to use her first name.

How it made her heart hurt. She could only imagine the war that was raging in his mind, but they could not afford to waste more time.

"Of course I will," Gylfie whispered. "I swear to you, I will keep her safe. Just be careful, Gabranth. I fear what Vayne may attempt next."

It took everything in her not to pace. She had helped Drace with her armor, tried to get her to speak, but... she was so distant. Gylfie understood why - she knew all too well the feeling of the brush with death, even if Drace had not been physically wounded. She was... absent. Her gaze distant. It was clear her mind was elsewhere, and Gylfie had no doubt she was thinking of Gabranth, rather than herself. She knew how she felt for him, regardless of what they shared, and all she could do was offer to be there. To try and focus on her, to keep her mind off her own worries. Her own fears of what was happening as the hours began to pass by with no sign of Gabranth.

Had Vayne realized his deception? Was it only a matter of time before they were found?

She dared not think of such. Instead, she tried to coax Drace into getting some sleep - to try and offer her mind some peace so she could assess the situation after some rest. It would do her well, she knew, but... She was not at all surprised when Drace refused, but her words only served to push Gylfie over the edge.

With a shaky breath, Gylfie finally began to pace - her jaw clenched tight as she crossed her arms in front of her chest. Her heart pounding once more. "Drace," she said, her voice taut, but... she was far from frustrated. Agitated, yes, and... torn. Oh, how torn was she, between wanting to help both Drace and Gabranth, but all too aware that one wrong misstep could doom them all. "I know. Vayne has never once acted upon merit. But I... I cannot..."

She stopped, and felt her heart break all over again as she met Drace's gaze. As she saw how crestfallen she was. To see someone once so powerful - so proud and strong and elegant - reduced to such a husk... She felt as though she were witnessing a god bleed. She could hardly bear the thought of breaking her vow to Gabranth to keep watch over Drace, but she could hardly stand not knowing what had become of him, and to deny Drace's request as well. But, perhaps...

Gylfie closed her eyes and tilted her head back - her brow furrowed tight as she took a deep breath to steady herself. To try and pull herself together and distance herself from her emotions. To act as the Judge she was. There was a solution in all of this. There was... Three. There were three.

Gabranth would hate all of them, wouldn't he?

"I dare not leave you alone,-" she said finally. Her voice still strained, but... firm. Making it clear what she was about to say was not up for debate. "-but I fear for Gabranth as well. I give you three options in this. Either I bring you to your family, and you stay hidden, and I will return to you as soon as it is safe to do, or I take you out of Archades entirely, and bring you to someone I know will keep you safely out of the Empire's watchful gaze. Or--" Oh, this was something she was reluctant to bring up, because she had a feeling it would be the one Drace would choose. "Or you come with me. Lord Larsa should be reaching Bur-Omisace if he has not already, and I have no doubt Vayne will be sending the Judge Magisters to collect him,-" if not to make an attack "-and I wish to be there to make sure he is safe. Something is wrong with Bergan, and I do not trust him not to act out what he believes to be his master's wishes. But if you join me, you must stay out of sight. The moment the others see you are alive, you, Gabranth, and I will not live to see another day. Vayne will make sure of it."

Not that she needed to explain it. She knew Drace would be well aware of Vayne's intentions, but... "You and Gabranth are all I have," she added - her voice quiet. Her expression pained as she finally turned to face her. "I will not lose either of you now."

[disillusionedjudge]

@tarnishedxknight - continued from here

Ashelia's affronted attitude was of no surprise to Gylfie, though she offered no form of apology or attempt to correct her brisk behavior. They needed to get going, and she could save her explanations for later, once safely off of the Leviathan.

"Judge Ghis, of course," she replied briskly - responding to at least one of the Princess's questions. In reality, Ghis was unaware that Gylfie was even in the prison wing, but... she could not risk telling Ashelia it was Larsa who wanted to speak with her. If they ran into one of the guards, she would need Ashelia to keep mum if she were to explain she was bringing her to the Judge Magister and not the young Lord. She simply could not risk exposing Larsa's aid in the Princess's escape, or the escape of the others previously.

And instead of giving further explanation, Gylfie placed the helm upon her head once more, and jerked her head to the side. "Follow me," she said over her shoulder, and began to walk. Silently praying the Princess would follow and she would not need to force her along. "We mustn't keep him waiting. He is a busy man, after all."

[disillusionedjudge]

@tarnishedxknight (Basch) sent: “I didn’t know we hired your kind into our guards.” (I was thinking in an AU where Raminas signed a treaty with Archadia and his assassination never occurred, so Archadians are just occupying Rabanastre and filling their ranks?)

"You are welcome to take such issues to your King, Ser Ronsenburg." Gylfie replied flatly. "I am here on orders from Emperor Gramis, on agreement between him and King Raminas to bolster Dalmasca's ranks." And it was something she was far from pleased about.

She understood the importance of it - of making sure Dalmasca was secured under Archadian rule and that Rozarria would not easily sweep in and take her - but it did not mean she had to be happy with the new arrangement. It meant being away from Drace and Gabranth for however long, and stuck with shockingly pigheaded Knights. Perhaps they held a strong sense of honor, but the amount of comments and looks of the fact she was a woman in a militant position almost drowned out the open disdain and hostility for being Archadian. She had expected the latter and braced herself for it easily enough, and braced herself to an extent for even the former, as she was used to such in the Empire, but to this extent? By the gods, if she received one more comment...

Then, of course, there was the matter of the Knight Captain who now stood before her. Gylfie had heard all about him from Gabranth, and it took everything in her to keep herself steady. The urge to snap at him - to leap to the defense of her mentor without him even there - burned in her heart, but she did well to keep it tempered. To hide it, and remain expressionless. To remain steady with the sudden change for them all.

But, oh, was she not pleased her station was below Basch's. She would need to watch herself, she knew, especially with tensions as high as they were. She needed to aid the Empire in gaining the favor and trust of Dalmasca - not ruin it by picking a fight with their beloved Captain. Best to get it over with, then. "I am Judge Ynarra. I have been sent to remain in Rabanastre for the foreseeable future, and I have been told you will be handling my exchange."

[disillusionedjudge]

@tarnishedxknight (Basch) sent: "If I have to rely on you for this, will I be able to trust you?"

"To that I ask: What does your heart say?" Gylfie turned toward him and tilted her head - her expression revealing a surprising sense of ease. "Yes, you can trust me, but anyone can say that, can they not? I am certain in my answer, but I expect you not to accept it, at least in full." She would be foolish to expect any of them to trust her so easily, just as she'd be foolish to take offense to his question.

And... truthfully, she'd be foolish to think Basch would be one to trust her at all.

But, to at least offer some form of reason as to why he could trust her at all, she gave a slight bow of her head. "You must understand what I am risking to aid you. If I am caught, I will be stripped of my rank and title and thrown into prison, if not sent to the gallows. If not killed as soon as my betrayal is discovered." She let out a slow but heavy breath, and lifted her head once more. "The Empire takes poorly to traitors, Ronsenburg, as does both Judge Drace and Judge Gabranth. They will not attempt to defend me if they learn I am not aiding you and the Princess to benefit Archadia."

[disillusionedjudge]

@tarnishedxknight (Ashelia) sent: “I didn’t think you’d be able to change my mind, but now I’m thinking things I never would’ve.”

"To be fair, our first meeting didn't exactly instill any sense of camaraderie," Gylfie drawled humorously with a hint of a smile. "I am sure I influenced quite the opposite idea." She let out a small huff of amusement as she turned her head away, and... Her ghost of a smile faded. Her expression becoming distant, yet... thoughtful, as she fell silent for a moment.

Then, with a soft inhale, she glanced up with a chuckle. "In truth, I must admit the same. I have... had my doubts about the Empire for... some time now, but..." She trailed off, and finally turned her head to look at Ashelia once more. Still thoughtful, perhaps a bit hesitant, but... there was a glint of respect in her gaze. "There is no doubt, there are new avenues in my mind that I would not have thought of on my own. You have changed much, Majesty, and for that, I thank you."

[disillusionedjudge]

@tarnishedxknight (Ashelia) sent: "Be honest… do you truly agree with everything your precious Archadian Empire has done to kingdoms like Dalmasca and Nabradia?"

It was the way Ashelia phrased her question that drew an irritated scoff from Gylfie's lips as she turned to look at her with a hardened expression. Her eyes narrowed. "Why do I have the feeling you have already decided my answer for me?" she asked dryly. "But, if you are willing to listen..." She trailed off for a moment, and... something in her expression shifted. A look of remorse flickering in her eyes as she turned her gaze away. "No. I don't."

There was a heaviness on her heart - a weight of guilt and discomfort. She was still a proud Archadian - still a proud Judge, even if her path had since gone astray - yet... She took in a heavy breath, and released it slowly.

"Had you asked some years ago, I may have been inclined to say yes. A... blind belief in Archadia's power and all that." Gylfie couldn't help but let out a humorless chuckle. "I see now the pain she has wrought, and the destruction she will bring to all of Ivalice, including herself. What happened to your Kingdom and Nabradia was unfortunate and should not have occured, but it does no good to sit idle and mourn. But, Your Majesty--"

She turned to face the Princess - a look of determination sharp in her eyes - and lifted her chin. "My loyalty to Archadia does not falter with my turn. I pledge myself to you and your little group in the hopes of saving the Empire from herself, and for that to happen, I know Dalmasca must be freed. You may believe not what I say, but Vayne is our enemy now. If we have any hope of saving our homelands - in saving Ivalice - it is he we must unite against. Archadia can change, but..."

Gylfie tilted her head. Her sharp eyes unwavering as she kept Ashelia's gaze. "My question to you is: Can you? Are you willing to change, Ashelia?"

[disillusionedjudge]

@tarnishedxknight - continued from here

There was a choked sound as Gylfie inhaled sharply at the sound of Mithran's voice - a last desperate attempt to stifle herself to try and hide the fact she'd been crying. But she could not stop her tears, nor the way her body trembled, as she remained where she sat. She didn't even turn to him, though she flinched, at first, as he began to rub her back despite the warmth of his touch offering a sense of comfort. Despite his voice holding a softness and warmth that she was so used to hearing from Caelen.

How can you say it will be alright? she wanted to wail. I got you killed! 'Tis my fault we're here! But she held her tongue, because a part of her knew it was her pain talking, and because she couldn't force the words out without fear of completely breaking down. She... she just needed--

Would you welcome it if I were to hold you?

That one question was enough to break what little hold she had on herself. With another strangled sob, Gylfie turned to Mithran and flung his arms around his neck as she buried himself against him, with little mind to his armor or wings. Though the fact that he... he no longer even smelled like Caelen only served to break her heart all over again.

"I am sorry," she choked out as she clung to him. Her eyes squeezed shut even as her tears continued to fall. Her lungs shuddered and heaved as she began to cry. "Oh, gods, Mithran, I-- I am so sorry. I should-- I should have known. I- I should have... have been there--" No, she should have never let herself get so close to Caelen to begin with, because the writing on the wall had always been there. She chose to ignore it, and... and...

Another sob racked Gylfie's body. It was she who had gotten him into this mess, and yet... he was comforting her. And it only made her feel worse. "I'm sorry. I'm- I'm so sorry."

[disillusionedjudge]

@tarnishedxknight - continued from here

It was foolish to be doing this. It was dangerous to be doing this. Not just for herself, but for Caelen as well. She knew that. If word got out that she, an Archadian Judge, was in a relationship with the crowned Prince of Dalmasca...

It would be ruinous to them both.

Yet, Gylfie could not keep herself away from him, as it seemed he could not stay away from her. She was cautious when they were around others to keep her affections from becoming known, and had learned from the best how to maintain a careful mask to hide how she truly felt, but now? In the privacy of Caelen's quarters, she stood close to him and cradled his cheek with a gentle hand. Her expression was soft and open as she gazed up at him, and she wanted nothing more than to pretend it was just them. To steal what time they could get, just to have something.

But... she knew they could not ignore what could happen if their secret was revealed. She knew she would be sent back to Archades, where she would be stripped of her station and disgraced. Undoubtedly, Drace and Gabranth would be disappointed in her, and it would certainly give Takrin a reason to formally disown her. She just... didn't know what to expect from House Solidor, and she knew not how Caelen would be punished, if he was punished at all. Mayhap Raminas could protect him, but the thought the King could or would not...

That scared her more than whatever consequences she would face.

Gylfie's thumb lightly traced his cheek as Caelen spoke, and her troubled gaze met his. Already, she regretted bringing it up, and wanted nothing more than to hold him close and get lost in his scent. To somehow take back what she said, or to ask him if they could, instead, discuss it another time. But she knew they could ignore it no longer, and with a slow exhale, she dropped her gaze.

"Aye, I do," she admittedly quietly. "And I could never forgive myself if you were to get hurt. I... I do not wish to cause you trouble with your people or your family, but I cannot bear the thought of giving you up, as selfish as that may be." She hesitated, then slowly rested her head on Caelen's shoulder and closed her eyes - allowing herself to take comfort in his scent and his warmth. To just feel him, even as her heart felt as though it could break.

Oh, what a stupid girl she was to have let herself get tangled up in such a mess to begin with. But how could she have ignored it, when he made her feel more hume than dog? When she felt a lightness and relief she could not find elsewhere?

She nuzzled him, and took a slow breath in. "I love you, Caelen," Gylfie whispered. "You have come to mean much to me, and I want nothing more than to just... somehow make this work." But, gods above, how could she even go about doing that? How could either of them do it? She had never been good at love - not when she ruined the first relationship she had. And not when her other... relationship options had been nothing but political.

A faint huff of forced amusement fell from her lips, and she pulled back as she shook her head. Her gaze lowered. "I... I am sorry. I did not mean to put a damper on our night. I'm worried, is all."

[disillusionedjudge]

@tarnishedxknight - continued from here

Gylfie's arms were crossed in front of her chest - her posture held tall but at ease, despite the uncertainty visible in her eyes. Admittedly, the situation was still far from ideal, being slung from suitor to suitor against her will, to have a betrothal wrapped around her like a rope. But... it was different with Caelen, somehow. Far different than it had been with Noctus or Vayne, and not just because he was far better than either Solidor. Their arrangement was far more political than her previous ones, yet... this felt far less of a punishment than it had with Gramis's sons.

She missed Archades, no doubt about it, but Rabanastre was growing on her, even with Dalmasca's... restrictions. Although she missed Drace and Gabranth, and missed being a Judge, she felt as though she could breathe without the pressure of Takrin and House Solidor bearing down on her from so close. And with Caelen...

Relief flashed through her gaze as he said she could stay with him. A part of her had been worried that, mayhap, she would be asking too much despite their arrangement, or her budding affection for him was unrequited, which she would have understood. Though, should she...?

"I... I thought it would be good for us to get used to it," Gylfie explained, although he had not asked her why. He deserved to know, she felt, and she felt comfortable with him. Her feelings for him aside, his gentle nature was alluring, and a breath of fresh air. Yet, her gaze flitted away almost awkwardly - still unsure how he felt about her, despite his acceptance. "And I would like to spend more time alone with you. I would like to get to know you better." Without someone else around, like Basch or Raminas. That way they both had the opportunity to be more open with each other, without outside pressure.

And... although it was something she wasn't quite willing to admit, she was still homesick. It was easy enough to ignore during the day when she had plenty to do, but at night when she was alone... Gods above, it was a pain and a grief she could hardly bear.

[disillusionedjudge]

@tarnishedxknight - continued from here

It should have been an honor to have been chosen to represent House Solidor in the absence of a Solidor daughter. It should have been an honor to be deemed a fine fit to marry into the Dynast line - to become Princess Consort of Dalmasca, even if it was no more than a hollow title with Archadia's grasp firmly around the desert kingdom.

But in Gylfie's eyes, it was just another slight.

She had first been betrothed to Noctus Solidor, and when he was sentenced and executed for treason, her betrothal was shifted to his younger brother, Vayne, lest a more political betrothal came to light. She had not expected such a betrothal to be moved to her, and, yet again, she was set to marry someone not of her choosing. Someone she did not know, and someone she did not love. She was not a bride nor a wife. She was a soldier. A Judge. A fighter through and through, with a heart and spirit that burned as bright and as hot as a wildfire, and a loyalty that--

A loyalty that could be found in a dog. Was that not why she put up no fight to Emperor Gramis?

As furious as she was, Gylfie held her tongue and accepted it with as much grace as she could. It was her duty, now, to be married off and further the security of Archadia's hold, as much as she dreaded the person her future husband could be. Perhaps the Order of the Knights of Dalmasca held a reputation of honor and chivalry, but she had heard plenty of what the Dynast men were like, and she dreaded what was to come. A life tucked away in the palace - forbidden from soldiering and politics. More than likely expected to be a mother to continue their bloodline. And she would be far from her home. Far from Drace and Gabranth. No longer a Judge. No longer a soldier.

Gods above, she had to hold to her fury lest she feel her heart break.

Yet... she had not expected Caelen. The last surviving son to King Raminas and heir to the Dalmascan throne was... gentle. He was polite and kind, something that, admittedly, Gylfie mistook as him being patronizing in the beginning, with a heart not at all meant for fighting or for leading. He was handsome and had a certain charm to him, to be certain, although that did little to help ease her distrust of him and of Dalmasca. Of the agony in her heart and the homesickness that plagued her despite how well she hid it. All things considered, particularly with whom she had been betrothed to before... he was not bad.

As time went on and her heart still ached for Archades and her beloved mentors, Gylfie found herself growing increasingly fond of the surviving Prince. The tension between them had faded, though awkwardness now took its place, yet... she found it easier to be around him. His kindness and tender heart were genuine. He respected her far more than most in Archades, and it was a comfort in knowing even he was off-put by their sudden union. But to say she loved him... Well, that was something not even she dared to acknowledge until she could ignore it no longer.

She was receptive to his attempts to form a cordial relationship, and did her best to help maintain it. It was the least she could do, and she knew it would be better for both of them given their situation. And it was in those moments that her thoughts began to drift more and more to him, when she was not busying herself learning of Dalmasca and Rabanastre, and trying to fit herself in the mold needed to maintain peace and cooperation between the kingdom and her Empire. When she began to look forward to spending time with him and hearing his voice. Hearing his laugh. Oh, how her heart lifted to see him even smile. But their union... was arranged. What love would he have for her?

It was something Gylfie had planned to keep to herself, as much as it added to her grief, until she found herself in conversation once more with Caelen about soldiering.

Rozarria, it seemed, was not ready to give in quite yet. As cornered as the Western Empire was, she was still stirring enough trouble that Archadia needed to answer, and Gylfie felt restless being forced to remain on the sidelines while Caelen was ordered to fight. Caelen... who had not the heart for battle. Oh, she didn't hold it against him - not everyone was meant to fight, and she felt the world would be a better place if there were more people like him - but she hated that he had to go, and she could not go in his stead. She would fight for him. For Archadia. For Dalmasca. She would do so in a heartbeat, if it meant keeping him safe. If it meant sparing him from war's horrors, even though he had already been forced his fill.

Their conversation turned into an argument, though one with no bite. Gylfie tried to insist he stay, when Caelen joked that his death would mean her freedom, and...

She felt ill at the thought.

Her stomach had dropped and her heart felt as though it had stopped beating as she stared at him. A sorrowed horror in her eyes as the idea of losing him nearly stole her breath away and left her grief far more raw. "No," she rasped - her voice sharp, but... unable to hide its tremble. "I do not wish your demise, Caelen. Please, just... stay. Stay here. You needn't leave for the battle. Rozarria will give in soon - there is no need to force you to fight."

Please don't leave me. Oh, how foolish it was for her to feel that way.

"I would if they would allow it," Gylfie rushed as he asked her if she would rather go in his stead - her heart lurching at the thought. She could protect him, that way, and... and he would be free of her, as he so pointed out the opposite. Because while his death would mean her freedom and her ability to return to Archades, she... could not bear to lose him. She had already felt heartbreak once, losing someone she loved, she did not wish to feel it again, with their separation being far more permanent.

You do not deserve to die, she thought almost desperately. If anyone does, 'tis I.

"Why would you not wish that?"

"Because I love you!" Gylfie blurted, before she felt herself flush hot at her blunder - catching her words too late to take them back. Though... did she want to take them back?

She let them remain in the air between them as she watched him nervously - ready to accept that she had been foolish enough to think love could come out of their betrothal. As she braced herself for his laughter. For his confusion. For his anger or frustration, or whatever else he may be feeling with--

"Aye," she said, though her voice was far quieter than she wanted as it took everything in her not to excuse herself and save herself from further embarrassment. She saw the way his pale skin flushed, but... she was cautious to accept such hope that his reaction was good. That it was barely restrained excitement in his voice, and not simple surprise. It would be best just to accept her fate now, wouldn't it?

Gylfie took a shaky breath. "I-- I do, Caelen. I have come to love you despite our arrangement, although I... do not expect you to feel the same. As selfish as it may be, I want you to stay. I do not wish to lose you or to leave you, even if I miss Archades. I just... I want to be here with you." Her gaze dropped with shame. Love did not come easily to her, and how fitting was it, for her to potentially ruin yet another relationship, as forced as it was? "I am sorry," she said quietly, "for I know this has not been easy on you, and I know I am asking for much. But 'tis only fair you know why."

[disillusionedjudge]

@tarnishedxknight - continued from here

Instead of taking offense to her questions, Gylfie couldn't help but chuckle. "You have every right to be suspicious, Lady Ashe," she said with a wry smile. "Aye, we were on different sides of the war, but..." She trailed off with a heavy sigh, and her smile faded. "Truthfully, I have no interest in continuing this war. I fear that, if Archadia were to continue its westward march and annex the rest of Ivalice, she would turn and devour herself once naught is left." She dared not explain more than that. Her loyalty still lay with her Empire, although she now aided Ashelia and her group. But to explain how dangerously close Archadia was to a civil war? No - it was unwise to mention it. Unwise to share such a weakness.

Besides, if she were being honest, she was also there to make sure Ashelia wouldn't destroy Archadia.

That was something she dared not share either, and Gylfie shook her head as she crossed her arms loosely over her chest in thought. Her jaw shifting as she turned her gaze away from the Princess. "You see, Majesty, Lord Larsa is not the only one with such dreams of peace. This war... has gone on for too long, and for all the wrong reasons for Archadia. For you to regain your throne would give you the authority to call for peace not just between Archadia and Rozarria, but with the Insur--" She cleared her throat, and corrected herself. "The Resistance as well. For our homelands to survive, for Ivalice to survive, this war must be called off, and you are needed to do that."

Gylfie turned to face Ashelia. "My motivations are quite simple. I am interested in restoring peace to Ivalice, and that can only be done with you on your throne and Vayne removed from power. Besides, 'tis my duty to protect the throne." She smiled at that - a glimmer of humor in her gaze. "I just... happen to be flexing the rules a little, is all."