#author: stayawake

[profoundbondfanfic]

with a sea view

with a sea view by stayawake (@9x20) Rating: teen Word Count: 34k

Set in 1997, Dean is the son of world famous rock star, John Winchester. After a few run-ins with the law, Dean's probation officer forces him to join a pen pal program. His pen pal, Jimmy, is eccentric, weird as hell, and recovering from a drug problem. He also quickly becomes Dean’s best friend. Even though they’ve never met, their email exchanges are one of the few lifelines Dean clings to during the last leg of his dad’s world tour.

The summary for this fic grabbed my attention right away, the twist being that John is the rockstar in this fic versus Dean (which is a favored trope). In this story, like in the show, Dean follows John around the world as he tours, living a life of recklessness and luxury, but one that's equally lonely. Ending up on probation, he's paired with another young delinquent to exchange letters. They communicate via email and under pseudonyms and quickly, "Michael" and "Jimmy" become best friends. 

This story is told from nineteen-year-old Dean's pov and it's an entire treat, witnessing the changes and the growth he goes through in this fic—it's simply *chef's kiss*. He comes so far and you're rooting for his young self to have a chance at chasing his own dreams, which start to include his strange but amazing penpal. 

[deancasbigbang]

Title: twin flame bruise

Author: stayawake

Artist: NeverSleepUntilFive

Rating: Teen

Pairings: Present: Sam/Eileen, Bobby/Ellen, Layla/David, Donna/Doug Past: John/Mary, Ellen/Bill, Dean/Cassie, Dean/Lisa, Cas/Balthazar, Bobby/Karen Mentioned: Chuck/Naomi, Jess/Other, Brady/Ruby

Length: 55000

Warnings: None

Tags: Soulmate AU, Friends to Lovers, Poet!Cas, Bartender!Cas, Bartender!Dean, Angst with a Happy Ending, Alternate Universe - No Supernatural Elements

Posting Date: October 28, 2024

Summary: All Dean wants is a happily ever after with his soulmate. He meets Cas, an aspiring poet who ran away from his life as a law school student. Dean feels an instant connection with the guy despite the fact that they aren't soulmates. It's fine. They can maintain a friendship while Dean continues the hunt for his soulmate. Absolutely no flaws in that plan whatsoever.

Excerpt: “Who’s the dude behind the bar?”   Jo glances over her shoulder and then back at Dean. “New bartender. Castiel. He’s nice, but I don’t think he’s ever worked in a bar before.”   “Castiel?”   Jo just shrugs, walking over to the bar. Dean follows her and stops in his tracks when Castiel looks up at them. Dean’s drowning in a world of blue and he never wants to come up for air again. It’s not the first time Dean’s looked at someone and thought this could be my soulmate, but it is the first time Dean prays he’s right.   “Castiel, this is Dean,” Jo gestures to him. “He’ll be the one training you tonight.”   “Just Cas is fine.”   “It’s nice to meet you, man,” Dean says, holding out a hand.   A handshake may be a strange form of greeting between two bartenders, but Dean’s just looking for an excuse to touch this guy. He can picture it so easily, their hands meeting, and each other’s names appearing on their skin. It would be right, it would be perfect, and then one day they can tell their children the story about meeting in a bar.   Dean’s heard plenty of soulmate meeting stories and knows that the mark will appear on their left ring fingers within a few moments of the first touch, so it’s disappointing when he pulls his hand away and notes his skin is still blank.   He tries to hide his disappointment. Looks like this Cas guy isn’t his soulmate after all. Dean tells himself he’s fine with that, no matter how handsome this guy is.   He slips into bartender mode, dedicates downtime between customers to show Cas the ropes and narrates what he’s doing whenever he makes a drink. Cas stands back, quiet for the most part as he watches Dean. Dean isn’t a stranger when it comes to training new employees, but he finds himself continuously distracted because he just wants to keep looking at Cas. Something about the guy makes Dean want to never look away. Too bad they're not soulmates. He has a feeling he could spend a lifetime looking at the guy and it still wouldn't be enough.

DCBB 2024 Posting Schedule

[einloukrativesangebot]

March 2024 Destiel Fic Recs

My favourite fics written in March 2024. Please leave kudos and comments for the authors.

Baker Six by komodobits

Summer, 1944. Dean doesn’t think about First Lieutenant Novak.

Feel It All Around by egravis

With Cas newly fallen, a lot of things have changed. Like, for one, Cas has never appeared so fragile before.

I hate you when Sam sees it (and love you when he doesn't) feat Bobby Singer by FreyaBlackthorn

Dean and Cas love each other in the dark. They hate each other in front of a freshly soul-supplied Sam. It's that easy.

Except it's not easy, because Sam may be a Winchester, but even his stupidness knows bounds. So how can you make your little brother believe you are totally not interested in your feathered best friend (who is totally your boyfriend, for the record)?

Bobby makes a guest appearance because he's the best, and because he cannot be fooled.

Never Let Me Go by K_A_Mindin

Found the place to rest my head

Personal Jesus by GreenEnthusiast

Dean has made a nasty habit of calling out to Castiel in the dead of night, when he’s all alone. Repressed feelings and a case of beer are quite the duo, one the Winchester is no stranger to. All he wants is to love and be loved, but he’s not sure if he knows how.

The Space Between The Trees by birdyedwards

The point was that Cas fell out of that barn and right into Dean’s life like he’d always belonged there. Like there was a Castiel-shaped spot missing somewhere and he’d slotted right into it. Over the past several months, the two of them haven’t been apart for more than a couple hours and Dean wonders how he ever went on without him. How it was even possible that Cas hadn’t been there the entire time.

- + -

The thing no one tells you about hunting is that it’s surprisingly boring. Having Cas around helps.

touch and go by stayawake

Cas comes equipped with enough angelic strength to fling demons against the wall with a flick of his wrist, but still lets himself get pushed and pulled around by Dean like it's nothing.

a happy ending in the palm of your hands by all_american_hips

It has been three months since the world was saved.

-------

Everything is finally in its place, and Dean tries to get his shit together.

An angel walks into a flower shop... by FreyaBlackthorn

This is literally a pinterest post turned into a silly fic. What would happen if an almighty angel walked into a flower shop to buy his serial killer of a boyfriend flowers? (feat Sam, because let's be honest, he would probably be there and be a little gremlin about it).

love in messages by DeanIsABottomDamnit

The relationship between cas and dean seen through texts, through the years

inhuman/human by Xxcxreyxx

Stuck in Purgatory, Castiel has time to think.

devastating, apocalyptic, & utterly catastrophic by aalienbluezz

And that was it. Cas was done. So done. Why on Earth would he read this ridiculously inaccurate folklore when he could just look at Dean’s adorable face. And eyes. And his pretty, pretty mouth. Cas was about two minutes in to remapping out each atom of Dean’s devastating cupid’s bow when Dean finally piped up with that same strange look and a self-conscious laugh: “Uh, I got crumbs on my mouth or somethin’?”

or,

Cas introduces Dean to the wonders of Chapstick.

the gone fishin' fic by the_oncoming_stormageddon

Dean and Cas have been dating for three months, but Dean isn’t sure that he’s ready to come out yet. Meanwhile, Bobby’s known they’ve been dating for six months.

A Tough Nut To Crack by ImYourHoneyBee

The cold is worse, bad enough that their comfortable moss insulation and leaf doorway don’t keep it out, and despite his thick winter coat, Dean is freezing. On the other side of the nest, Cas is curled into a tight ball, his tail flipped over his nose like a blanket. Dean wonders if he’s cold too.

It’s dark inside their nest, almost pitch black with how the maple leaves block out the starlight. Cas is nothing but a lump, but Dean bets that if they were lumps together, they’d be warmer. It’s not gay if they’re huddling for warmth, right? It should also be taken into account that they’re squirrels, and he’s pretty sure it’s not gay if they’re squirrels, either.

Dean is suffering because he’d insisted that they be two squirrels sleeping on opposite sides of the nest, five inches apart because they’re not gay.

Morning After by lizleenimbus

Dean wakes up after a one-night stand only to find something - or rather someone - he didn't expect.

It's the first month of @deancaspinefest posting, so check those fics out here if you want some long fics of Dean and Cas pining for each other. And please do read my fic "Not our kind of thing" here.

Check out the other posts:

January, February

[dcbtv]

Title: for the hope of it all

Author: stayawake

Artist: hitori-alouette

Song: august

Posting date: September 21

Rating: teen

Any archive warnings: none

Top 10 main tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Castiel's Family is Rich, Intern Dean Winchester, Intern Cas, New York City, First Love

Summary: A series of snapshots from the summer Dean fell in love.

Author tumblr: 9x20

Artist tumblr: hitori-alouette

Link to Art

Link to Fic

[nothingunrealistic]

do you have any Kleinsen or deh fic recommendations? I've read most of the popular ones already, so some of the less common ones would be awesome

sure! some of these recs come from this post of mine and this post of milo’s; some are new. i’ve split them up into two sections: kleinsen and gen/other. i didn’t list more than one or two works from any particular author, but if you like a given fic, i definitely recommend checking out the author’s other work. under a cut!

kleinsen

to avoid re-reccing the most popular fics, i’ve kept it to those with under 250 kudos (as of posting this, anyway.)

you’re not the only one (who doesn’t wanna be alone tonight) by literalvampire - 27.0k, canon divergent oneshot. evan and jared decide to go to a halloween party, a decision that winds up completely changing their relationship. this fic has everything: misunderstandings and miscommunication! puns! inadvertently making people jealous! jared and alana friendship / gay solidarity! the intimacy of applying and removing someone’s makeup for them! cats, and Cats!

bake from the heart by literalvampire - 5.1k, post-canon oneshot. they’ve fought, and now they’re friends again, and to show it, jared’s helping evan (who he totally doesn’t have a crush on anymore, definitely not, no way) bake for his mom’s birthday. sweet, funny, and reclaims “cinnamon rolls” for the delicious pastry rather than oversimplified and infantilized fictional characters.

why mess up a good thing by otachi - 4.4k, post-canon oneshot. jared and evan go to a college party, to meet people and be sociable, and then decide they’d rather just go home (because oh my god, they’re roommates) and hang out together. misunderstandings and discussions of feelings ensue. great characterization, great banter, and a delightfully sweet ending.

through a window, counting birds by otachi - 4.5k, vaguely post-canon oneshot. evan and jared are just hanging out on a summer night and both quietly head over heels for one another. it’s much more about Thoughts And Feelings than about plot here, and those thoughts and feelings are perfectly on point with regards to characterization and beautifully laid out for us.

baby, be gentle (it’s my first time) by jetpacks - 8.8k, canon divergent oneshot. a 5+1 fic about the times evan and jared nearly confessed their feelings to one another, and the time they finally did. a great combination of silly teenage shenanigans & banter and desperately trying & failing to talk about feelings.

on nights so cold, i know you need some company by kkamikaze - 8.6k, post-canon / canon divergent oneshot. jared reads the letter that’s been posted online as connor’s note, figures out what it is, and immediately goes to evan to have a conversation they should have had long ago. i don’t think i’ll ever get tired of “jared reads the letter” fics, and this is a great exploration of how he might respond to that.

only fools fall for you by heklin - 7.1k, time travel au oneshot. on the first day of school, jared listens to evan’s story about falling out of a tree - and then gets sent back in time to that moment, over and over again. an exploration of the history of jared and evan’s friendship, and how jared might deal with finding out how evan really broke his arm.

watch how a cold broken teen will desperately lean on a superglued human of proof by PrinceDrew - 1.2k, soulmate au oneshot. connor, evan’s soulmate (not a typo) dies, evan falls apart, and jared is there to help evan put himself back together. deeply tragic, and probably not your thing if you can’t stand connor/evan in any form, but wonderfully written.

dear evan asshat (orphaned) - 0.8k, post-canon oneshot. after their fight, jared writes more emails to evan that he doesn’t send. one of my favorite tropes for this pairing - this fic is very short, but it packs a lot of pain in there.

Porto Ruby by captchaluff - 1.9k, pre-canon oneshot. evan goes over to jared’s house to do homework, but they end up drinking and sharing secrets instead. a really interesting look at what they might have been like in middle school, though with a less than hopeful ending.

the maroon hoodie by jamb - 4.2k, everyone lives au oneshot. all the teens are friends, and they’d all be having a great time if jared weren’t Suffering Terribly thanks to seeing evan wearing his hoodie and then trying to figure out how to date him. delightful duo of low-stakes kleinsen pining and playfully antagonistic jared & connor friendship, if that’s your bag.

have you listened to me lately? lately, i’ve been fuckin’ crazy by outlawslikeus - 1.0k, post-canon oneshot. evan’s dropped jared, and jared’s read the letter, and now jared spends his time writing emails he’ll never send. a character study of jared at his most heartbroken.

and now, for some recs of my own work, because i love attention!

love, comment, and subscribe - 6.5k, canon-compliant oneshot. takes the idea of jared’s tech inspect and extends it into a series of videos being made over the course of canon that document jared’s gradual unraveling. make sure you have “show creator style” on for this one!

futile devices - 8.3k, multichapter. a collection of prompt fics, originally posted on tumblr, with a common focus on jared and evan’s relationship and everything that tends to go unspoken between them. these cover a wide range of compliance with and divergence from canon, sometimes including the deh novel.

no comfort in the truth - 3.7k, soulmate au multichapter. specifically, it’s a spin on the “last words your soulmate ever says to you” concept, while sticking closely to the events of canon. this one is entirely will roland’s fault for saying he doesn’t think evan and jared would ever reconcile.

if you only say the word - 1.8k, canon-compliant oneshot. my own take (one of them, anyway) on Jared Reads The Letter, and one that could easily be happening in the background of the reprise of ywbf. the first thing i ever wrote (though not the first thing i published) for deh - i think it holds up still.

gen/other

most of these don’t focus on romantic relationships much or at all; since such stories generally aren’t as popular anyway, i’m not sticking closely to the 250 kudos threshold here.

Somebody To Find You by stayawake - 3.8k, canon compliant oneshot. a retelling of canon from alana’s perspective. i love alana dearly, and this does an excellent job of exploring her actions in canon, how she feels about connor’s death and others’ reactions to it, and what she might go through after posting the letter online.

feeling stupid, feeling small by nosecoffee - 2.2k, pre-canon oneshot; jared & connor, jared & evan, jared & zoe. jared is lonely, and he’s depressed, and he doesn’t feel like a person, and even hanging out with the murphys now and again won’t do much to fix that. a deeply sad look at what jared’s life, and his interactions with evan, zoe, and connor, might have been like before canon.

every sun doesn’t rise by nosecoffee - 3.5k, canon divergent oneshot; evan & connor, evan & jared. connor is dead, and now he’s a ghost, and he’d appreciate it if someone came and got his body, so he makes his way to evan to ask for help, and jared gets pulled in along the way. a downer of a fic, but morbidly funny as well.

i’ll be waiting for you until we meet again by demistories - 7.0k, soulmate au oneshot; alana & connor, evan & jared. in this au, you can talk to your soulmate (romantic or platonic) in dreams; connor’s known his soulmate for years, but he doesn’t know her name. a fun look at a connor-alana friendship, as well as connor’s possible friendships with evan, jared, and zoe in a kinder timeline.

they were kids that i once knew by PrinceDrew - 4.3k, canon divergent oneshot. evan and connor both die by suicide, though only connor’s death is recognized as such, and when a story about the two of them being best friends emerges from the public grief, jared gets lost in the middle. very well-written and deeply sad.

and mine:

the lights will arise - 3.9k, canon-compliant multichapter; alana & jared. part of the same series as if you only say the word, and examines alana’s arc during canon and how it could intersect with jared’s. all part of my agenda to 1) let alana and jared be Friends and 2) actually let us see what they’re up to during ywbf reprise.

let facts be submitted to a candid world - 11.3k, au multichapter wip (2/7 chapters); alana & jared, alana/female oc. it’s a national treasure au. alana is nicolas cage. that’s it. i have no idea if i’ll ever update this again, but you might enjoy what’s there anyway.

[booksteacupandreviews]

Stay Awake by Megan Goldin is interesting Amnesia Thriller novel

❓Which books/movie related amnesia you enjoyed most? #StayAwake #MeganGoldin - interesting Amnesia #Thriller @StMartinsPress I recommend this if you're fan of author and don't mind pace in first half. read full #bookreview on #BooksTeacupandreviews⬇️

Stay Awake is gripping, tense, enjoyable and interesting Amnesia Thriller novel. I sure recommend this if you’re fan of author and don’t mind pace in first half. Stay Awake by Megan Goldin Publication Date : August 9th 2022 Publisher : St. Martin’s Press Read Date : August 10th 2022 Genre : Thriller ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Rating: 4 out of 5. Tea for this book : Magnolia + Little of Black Tea Disclaimer –…

[fredhandbag]

Stay Awake is a different kind of thriller from Megan Goldin. What happens when someone forgets everything from the last two years every time they fall asleep? "Liv wakes up in a cab with no idea about how she got there. At her apartment, there are strangers there. Instead of her phone, there's a bloody knife in her purse. And then she sees her arms are covered with writing that says STAY AWAKE. She catches a glimpse of local news and finds out that she's a suspect in a murder. How did she get here? Did she kill someone? She doesn't remember" I like when an author tries something different. Lots of previous books have had characters with memory issues. even those caused by trauma. But Goldin puts Liv in an almost impossible situation. You're listening and thinking that this poor character is lost and can't recover. But Goldin keeps writing and shows you what happened. The killer is one that's hiding in plain sight. I had no idea. I'm usually pretty good at making a guess - not this time. There are mostly two POVs - Liv and the Detectives. I hope we see the detective team in future books. I think there are more stories there. Two of the best are narrators for this audiobook - Imogen Church and January Lavoy. Tremendous performance from both with a large cast of characters. You can really feel the desperation of Liv and the momentum of the story as it builds to the reveal. Another great story from Goldin. Another great thriller option for your summer reading. Thanks to @stmartinspress and @macmillan.audio for the advanced copies. #stayawake #megangoldin #macmillanaudio #imogenchurch #januarylavoy #audiobooks #stmartinspress #netgalley #bookstagram #bookshelves #booknerd #readinglife #bookwormlife #sodacityreads #bookworm #suspensebook #bookhaul #literarycrimefiction #homelibrary #thrillerbooks #domesticthriller #crimefiction #thriller #characterdrivenbooks #mysterythriller #bookrecs https://www.instagram.com/p/Cf_fTfar3F_/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[deancasbigbang]

Title: Soda Fountain Pharmacy

Author: stayawake

Artist: girlinthemirrorbluenight

Rating: Teen

Pairings: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Past Mary Winchester/John Winchester, Past Dean Winchester/Carmen, Dean Winchester/Lisa Braeden, mentioned Charlie Bradbury/Gilda, Sam Winchester/Sarah Blake, Sam Winchester/Madison, Past Dean Winchester/Lydia, Past Castiel/April Kelly, mentioned Dean/Others, Castiel/Balthazar, mentioned Castiel/Others, Past Chuck Shurley/Naomi, Past Dean/Robin, Gabriel/Original Female Character, Past Gabriel/Kali, Victor/Original Female Character, Past Jo Harvelle/Aaron Bass, mentioned Jo Harvelle/Gordon Walker, mentioned Meg/Nick, mentioned past Dean/others, mentioned past Cas/others

Length: 92000

Warnings: Underage Kissing, Underage Drinking

Tags: Alternate Universe - 90’s, High School/Teenage AU, Coming of Age, Situationship, Underage Drinking, Grief, Jealousy, Found Family, First Love

Posting Date: October 5, 2023

Summary: Cas is fifteen. He has nothing except a dead mom, a drunk dad, a new-old hometown where he doesn’t quite fit, and a part-time job at the Winchester Family Pharmacy.

Excerpt: Over the course of four hours, Cas serves up two more milkshakes, a root beer float, and a handful of freshly mixed sodas. He also makes just under three dollars in tips. Mary shows up toward the end of his shift. She doesn’t even drop off her stuff first, just immediately walks up to Cas at the counter, takes a seat, and asks how his first day went. “It was good,” Cas says. He glances over Mary’s shoulder and watches as Dean rings up a customer. “Informative.” “Pretty straightforward, right?” “Yes,” Cas nods, full of conviction. He takes it seriously. This is a place of business after all. Mary smiles at him. “And Dean didn’t give you any trouble?” Cas shakes his head just as quickly and averts his eyes. “He was very helpful.” And just like that, Dean’s standing in front of him. “Course I was. I should be the mascot for all family-owned drug stores.” Mary gives him a look and Dean drops the act, somewhat. “Kid did great. He’ll be running the place by the end of the summer.” Mary looks back at him, proud, and it almost takes Cas out to have someone look at him with that much pride. Even at her best, his mom never looked at him like that. “Let me grab you a uniform,” Mary says. “We keep some extras in the back.” He watches her head into the backroom and looks back at Dean. “By the way, tips are usually shared among the staff,” Dean says. “For future reference.” “Oh,” Cas says, immediately reaching into his pocket to pull out the cash. Dean shakes his head. “Keep it, dude. It’s barely anything. Besides, you did all the work.” “Are you sure?” “Positive.” Cas nods, depositing the cash back in his pocket. He stands there another second wondering if he should say anything, or if he can get away with signing out and then leaving. He wonders what Dean will get up to for the rest of the day. He spent most of his down time during their shift studying. Cas wonders if he was getting his studying out of the way now in case he has plans later. “Hey,” Dean says, grabbing his attention back. “Don’t be offended if I ignore you at school.” “Oh,” Cas says. He shrinks in on himself. Sometimes he feels so young. “Yeah.” Dean shrugs like it’s no big deal. Maybe it isn’t, to him. To Cas, it feels like someone stomped on his heart. “See you around, kid.” Cas watches him leave, like he didn’t leave something shattered in his wake.

DCBB 2023 Posting Schedule

[deancasbigbang]

Soda Fountain Pharmacy

Author: stayawake

Artist: girlinthemirrorbluenight

Rating: Teen

Pairings: Past Mary Winchester/John Winchester, Past Dean Winchester/Carmen, Dean Winchester/Lisa Braeden, Charlie Bradbury/Gilda, Sam Winchester/Sarah Blake, Sam Winchester/Madison, Past Dean Winchester/Lydia, Past Castiel/April Kelly, mentioned Dean/Others, Castiel/Balthazar, mentioned Castiel/Others, Past Chuck Shurley/Naomi, referenced Dean/Robin, Gabriel/Original Female Character, past Gabriel/Kali, Victor/Original Female Character, Jo Harvelle/Aaron Bass (brief), mention of Jo Harvelle/Gordon Walker, mention of Meg/Nick, mention of past Dean/others, mention of past Cas/others

Length: 95000

Warnings: Underage Kissing, Underage Drinking

Tags: Alternate Universe - 1990s, High School/Teenage AU, Coming of Age, Grief/Mourning, Jealousy, Found Family, First Love, Situationship

Summary: He’s fifteen. He’s got nothing except a dead mom, a drunk dad, a new-old hometown where he doesn’t quite fit, and a part-time job at the Winchester Family Pharmacy.

Link to Fic | Link to Art

[deancasbigbang]

with a sea view

Author: stayawake

Artist: Mortea

Rating: Teen

Pairings: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean/others (flirting), Past John Winchester/Kate Milligan, John Winchester/others, Past John Winchester/Mary Winchester

Length: 33955

Warnings: Mentions of past drug addiction/abuse

Tags: Alternate Universe - 1990s, Road Trips, Pen Pals, Lonely Dean Winchester, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Dean and Cas are best friends

Summary: Set in 1997, Dean is the son of world famous rock star, John Winchester. After a few run-ins with the law, Dean's probation officer forces him to join a pen pal program. His pen pal, Jimmy, is eccentric, weird as hell, and recovering from a drug problem. He also quickly becomes Dean’s best friend. Even though they’ve never met, their email exchanges are one of the few lifelines Dean clings to during the last leg of his dad’s world tour.

Link to Fic | Link to Art

[deancasbigbang]

Title: with a sea view

Author: stayawake

Artist: Mortea

Rating: Teen

Pairings: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Dean/others (past/flirting), Cas/others (past), John/Mary (past), John/Kate (past), John/others

Length: 30000

Warnings: Mentions of past drug addiction

Tags: John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Pen Pals, Road Trip, Alternate Universe - 1990s, Two Person Love Triangle (Briefly), Lonely Dean Winchester

Posting Date: October 3, 2022

Summary: Set in 1997, Dean is the son of world famous rock star, John Winchester. After a few run-ins with the law, Dean's probation officer forces him to join a pen pal program. His pen pal, Jimmy, is eccentric, weird as hell, and recovering from a drug problem. He also quickly becomes Dean’s best friend. Even though they’ve never met, their email exchanges are one of the few lifelines Dean clings to during the last leg of his dad’s world tour.

Excerpt: Despite the overwhelming number of tourists and the fact that he had to pay an admission fee (he had to pay money to look at nature, seriously?), Dean really likes the Grand Canyon. In fact, he’d call himself a fan. It reminds him of the open road. Miles and miles of the same thing, seemingly going on forever. Fucking gorgeous. Fucking terrifying. If he was gonna end it all, he thinks flinging himself off the side of the cliff might be the way to go. He takes a few pictures and then wastes a couple attempts at getting a photo of himself before some elderly couple offers to take his picture. “You’ll look awfully handsome once this develops,” the woman says as she hands the camera back. “Thank you,” Dean says, blushing slightly. “Would you like me to take a picture of you two?” Dean asks, gesturing to the camera hanging from around her husband’s neck. “Please,” the man says, handing his camera over. Dean snaps a few pictures, including one of the couple kissing. It’s unbearably sweet and Dean’s suddenly hit with the overwhelming yearning to have someone to share this with. Sure, he enjoyed the three-and-a-half-hour solo drive and likes getting to play the music he wants and not having to compromise on road trip snacks. But he also thinks it might be nice to have his hand on someone’s thigh the whole drive, or someone to play the license plate game with, or someone to kiss in front of the Grand Canyon like the world carved out the space just for them. Dean stops in the gift shop and buys two postcards. One for Sam and one for Jimmy. He sits on the hood of Baby with a pen he found in the glove department and doodles in the corner of the card that he already designated as Sam’s. Sammy, Bet you’re jealous I’m hitting national parks without you. Don’t worry, I’m dragging your ass out here the second I can. I wouldn’t mind seeing this shit a second time around. Maybe next time you can force me to read a pamphlet or two. Study hard and stay off the drugs. Dean He switches over to Jimmy’s postcard. Jimmy, This old lady told me I was handsome and that I reminded her of her husband when they first got married. You think I could hit that? Never been one for cougars, but all the self-help books tell you to try something new every day. Study hard and stay off the drugs. Michael He takes a picture of Baby just because, and then hops back in the car and heads back to Phoenix.

DCBB 2022 Posting Schedule

[deancasbigbang]

til the bone crush

Author: stayawake

Artist: ImpMakesArt

Rating: Mature

Pairings: Castiel/Dean Winchester, (Eileen Leahy/Sam Winchester (background), Charlie/Dorothy (background), John/Mary (past), Bobby/Ellen (past))

Length: 67600

Warnings: Suicidal ideation, Implied/referenced suicide, Depression, Anxiety, References to past suicide attempt, References to past self-harm, References to abusive/neglectful parenting

Tags: Suicide Pact, Suicidal Ideation, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Angst with a Happy Ending, Depression, Anxiety, John Winchester’s A+ Parenting, Road Trips, Falling in Love, Suicide Partners to Lovers

Summary: Cas is twenty-seven, depressed, and at the end of his rope. After many years of contemplating suicide, he decides it’s finally time to pull the literal trigger. But Cas is scared. He knows he needs encouragement, peer pressure to push himself off the edge of the cliff, so he finds a partner online. Dean Winchester is a guy that Cas only knows in passing. He’s charming, bold, and absolutely the last person Cas expected for a suicide partner. But he’ll do. A story about Dean and Cas falling in love with each other, and with life itself.

Link to Fic | Link to Art

[deancasbigbang]

Title: til the bone crush

Author: stayawake

Artist: ImpMakesArt

Rating: Mature

Pairings: Dean/Cas, Sam/Eileen, Charlie/Dorothy, past John/Mary, past Bobby/Ellen, mention of past Dean/Others, mention of past Cas/Others

Length: 66000

Warnings: Suicidal Ideation, Depression, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mention of Past Suicide Attempt, Mention of Past Self-Harm, References to Past Homophobic Parents

Tags: John Winchester’s A+ Parenting, Suicide Pact, Falling in Love, Road Trip, Angst with a Happy Ending, Suicide Partners to Lovers

Posting Date: October 28, 2021

Summary: Cas is twenty-seven, depressed, and at the end of his rope. After years of contemplating suicide he decides it’s finally time to pull the literal trigger. But he knows he needs encouragement, peer pressure to push himself off the edge of the cliff, so he finds a partner online. Dean Winchester is the last person Cas expected for a suicide partner, but he’ll do. A story about Dean and Cas falling in love with each other, and with life itself.

Excerpt: “Dude, I get it. I really do. Obviously, I do. But I don’t know,” Dean sighs. He finally looks like what Cas was originally expecting. A person drained and devoid of hope. “We deserve to go down swinging.” “I guess you’re right,” Cas concedes. Dean breaks out into a smile, clapping Cas on the shoulder. “Hell yeah, I’m right.” He gets up from the bench and Cas watches him. “So, I’ll see you this weekend?” Cas looks at Dean for a moment longer. “I suppose so.” If possible, Dean smiles even wider. He nods at Cas once before walking back where he came from. After a few feet, he turns looks back around. “Blaze of glory, Cas.” He winks. “We’re going down swinging.” And then he’s off again. Cas watches Dean go, and wonders what the next few months will look like. He has more questions than answers, but at least they have a plan in place. Four months. Cas has four months until he’s dead. Four months of dragging his feet through the mud until he can finally fall and drown and sleep until the end of time. For the first time in years, Cas goes to bed feeling at peace.

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