#author gives niko a roomba

[youhavemorethanoneshot]

i should not be allowed to use rpgmaker xp i think

[spirit-shroud]

what’s some of your favorite plight headcanons? do you have any about the author? :o

first of all, anon, marry me right now immediately, im love u ive been dying to talk about these

okay so if you ask me what basis literally any of these have in canon i’ll have no answers but heres some of my personal faves i’ve come up w!! these are HCs im more or less using in a fanfic ill,,, one day actually write... instead of just... awkwardly mentioning it all the time  haha end me writing is hard

im gonna limit my lampy hcs to five because i really do have so many more than that i just love him so much kjdfhgdjkhfg

1. lamp boy? trans guy. at the time niko’s there and all The Nonsense happens(tm) he hasnt chosen a name or anything so hes just kinda The Lamplighter (occasionally he’ll panic and just say plight if someone, like, asks him for a name. nobody’s really connected the dots that its just lamplighter or if they have, they don’t want to mention it) maybe it’ll just stick or he’ll actually come up with something ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ for now, that’s just his title2. he has, exactly one(1!) time made the slip-up of calling Kip mom, either because she was worrying about him or whatever, and she hasn’t let him forget it. she sends him plants and books and helps him out whenever he’s asked to repair something he hasn’t encountered before. if you ask him about it, he’d say it’s dumb (but wow she’s a lifesaver!!) 

3. even on his day off he needs to be doing something, whether its just wandering around or trying to figure out how the heck to solve a rubik’s cube or whatever else. he finds idle time really stifling even when he could be sleeping. he probably would love things like stim toys just so he has something to do with his hands like tbh (imagine how powerful he’d be if he had like. video games. multitask level: ultimate) 

4. since he’s super sleepless, most likely malnourished as hell, and definitely vibrating from caffeine at any given moment he doesn’t have the best memory at all. like. sure he’ll remember the radio station of something he used to listen to like 9 whole years ago that doesn’t exist anymore but if you ask him to remember like.. where he’s supposed to be in an hour? no. ask him to remember someone’s name??? no. he’s just. not going to. ever. it’s a fact of life. however, to try and curb that, he’s gotten SUPER GOOD at keeping lists of everything to accomplish in a day, where, what time, etc and sticking to it. the day he loses his pocket notebook is the day the world ends. 

5. this is more of a,,, self-insert, unrelated romance headcanon but. listen. hes the most disaster bisexual to ever walk this earth. humans beware. he has really really low standards so like if you ever show him any care/concern chances are he'd die for you and also screw up any everyday conversation. HOWEVER,  he's also quite dumb. like. someone could legitimately walk up and confess their undying love to him outright and he'd be just talking to kip one night like 'okay so this guy i like said he was like, madly in love with me right? do you think he wants to like... go out on a date or was he just being nice? is that how friends are these days? i mean like we held hands once and we got coffee and now this, wow.’ 

‘that was a date, dear. what you just described was a date.’ 

‘...ah.’

(its a problem. someone please help him)

(just to reiterate i love lampy a whole heckload. also Big Question: where the heCK does all his money go if he works like 140 hrs/week.)

 okay now onto World Dad, whom I love but would also fight in a back alley because what the heck, guy. i really dont have too much on him tbh like it’s more Vague Theories than actual headcanons so im just going to dive into the juicy stuff first

1. i like to think that the major characters are, for the most part, extreme in one trait (kip = mom friend. george = all 6 personalities are different parts of one person. ling = nicest ever. lampy = workaholic, etc) because that’s just how the author remembers them. as well, the world kept getting smaller population wise as the other people were forgotten / their code just kept getting smaller. (but like that’s also really sad oh no)

2. i also like to think his fantasy stories are literally just like... fanfiction of his travels and the friends he’s met, maybe with different names/places. either as a way to remember who he met there or to just share the memory with a lot of people

3. he’s from earth! or alternatively, a very near-earth place, maybe one that’s more advanced (but still runs win95 for some reason)

4, it’s mentioned that he doesn’t like working on AI and i think why that is is because he has a tendency to accidentally give anything he touches like.. full sentience. im sure everyone would love a sentient roomba but. oh dear. that’s too scary. (also a big contributing factor to that is probably like.. idk.. the whole nonsense with the entity) not a headcanon but real talk wheRE DID HE GO how did hE DO THE SALTSTICE UPDATE IF HES FLOATING INDEFINITELY IN THE VOID

next episode of game theory: is the author secretly gaster?

anyways so maybe you can see who my favourite character is but uhhh yeah i just. i really like this game and the people in it s’all >/////////

thanks for coming to my ted talk

[tumblunni]

Finally got back to finish Oneshot...

GAH

my emotions...

spoilers below

Okay I was spoiled beforehand, so i already knew the final choice is ‘save the world or save Niko’ from the point I set foot in the library. And I was very certain of my choice but the game still made me doubt it a hundred times over, DEAR GOD

Mostly the ‘reality game’ aspects of this thing have just been annoying to me. It gets in the way of the story a lot, and doesnt really... do anything? It feels like its ONLY there for the ‘wow how did they do that’ factor, I guess. But it just gets obnoxious and seriously its never actually made me ‘paranoid’ or anything, and if it DID then that isnt a good thing! I don’t get it... But yeah, its just mostly annoying having to search thru the game files every five seconds in order to solve the next puzzle, rather than it actually being IN THE GAME. And its annoying cos sometimes they don’t even TELL you that you need to look outside the game for the answer! There’s so much backtracking and pixel-hunting already, you didnt need to make me do it for no reason when you put the answer replacing my desktop all along, or whatever. And I just imagine how unplayable it would be for someone who’s computer isnt capable of doing all this stuff. like if they had an antivirus that blocks it, or a really old computer that lags out or crashes when it happens. Plus its SO STUPID that the ENTIRE POINT OF THE NAME OF THE GAME comes from a stupid trick it pulls on you in the ending. It tells you you only had one shot and you can’t play again, but then there ACTUALLY IS A NEW GAME PLUS and you CANT GET THE FULL ENDING WITHOUT IT. You HAVE to delete your save data from the files in order to PROGRESS THE GAME. I just... I just feel SO BAD for any players who go fooled by this or just didnt have enough meta sense to grasp some of these puzzles without a guide. Its like a ‘you must be this smart at random programming bullshit to progress’ barrier... So yeah this is the one game in all of time that I most reccommend using a guide for! I tried my best to do it without one but I missed a whole bunch of achievements and shit because of it. I guess at least that makes the newgame plus a little more fun, even if I’m still not exactly happy I have to do all these bullshit puzzles TWICE MORE to get the true ending... gahhhHHH

BUT

BUT

the ONE time the dumb meta puzzle bullshit was actually good and actually enhanced the story IS THE ENDING

The final puzzle has you running a second ‘decoder program’ from the game’s file directory (yeah, bullshit, IKR?) and it does actually have some creative puzzles of holding the image over the game window to reveal the right way to go. But more importantly, it does it in a very creative way! All the hints are pages torn from the Author’s journal, and you kinda have your first and last conversation with him via these. And he tells you about the sadistic choice you now have to make, and apologizes... :(

Also its very good meta that the Entity tries to interfere with you during this section. Usually there’s no damn reason for the stupid super hard meta puzzles, this time there IS a reason! In-universe, its supposed to be that the Entity has removed your ability to interact with the game normally, so you can ONLY solve this last puzzle by fiddling with the files. Its really really upsetting to see Niko being fooled by the Entity and there’s no way to talk to them, they think you left when its really some asshole depressed computer god that kicked you out! GAHHH!! But also i feel a lot of sympathy for the Entity cos the Author says they’re trying to destroy the world because they have no other way to kill themself. And the nature of the Entity is still left completely unexplained in this ending, which is why it SUCKS that the game tries to trick you into thinking there isnt a newgame plus! But it seems the entity might be like... an artificial god? With their powers they’re clearly more of a god than the player could ever be, but they talk like they’re one of the ‘tamed’ robots we’ve been seeing for the whole game. I’M REALLY REALLY CURIOUS ABOUT THIS TRUE ENDING, DAMMIT

Anyway... aaa... I picked to save the world instead of Niko. And I feel like COMPLETE SHIT! HOORAY! But like.. god.. I know that it would not be morally defensible to kill hundreds of strangers just to save one child I’ve grown to love so dearly. I’ve always got mad when characters in videogames choose to doom the world just to save their best friend, but this game really makes me feel just how hard that choice is to make! My only criticism is that maybe it wasnt as hard as it COULD have been, since you do meet a bunch of huggable characters throughout the game that you’ll love just as much as Niko. It was a decision that couldnt be made by any form of proper logic, so I just boiled it down to a stupid emotionless profit/loss analysis. I can cry over losing one person, or losing the dozens of others I also met, AND a whole world of strangers! Either way I cry equally as much! AAAARGH!! I JUST COULDNT STOP THINKING OF MR LAMPLIGHTER AND THE UNNAMED PANCAKE CAFE PERSON AND THE PROPHETBOT AND KIP AND SILVER AND THE BIRD FAMILY AND THE CAT HUGS ALLEYWAY ROBOT AND ALL THE OTHER CHARMING ROBOTS AND THE TINY LITTLE PHOSPHOR SHRIMP AND THE ROOMBA!!!!!!!!!! GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH But at least I was able to get some pancakes for Niko, and be honest with them about what was happening, and say goodbye. And at least in this ending nobody dies, its just that Niko can’t ever go home again so its equally as sad as if they died. And i can’t even talk to them ever again to comfort them!! GAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH But like.. its mildly more optimistic than the alternative, I guess. Cos you get to see a montage of everyone else you ever met seeing the sun come back and crying. AND EVEN TINY BABY PLANT SPIRIT CAME BACK TO LIFE BECAUSE OF MY SIDEQUEST FINISHING POWERS I can feel like maybe Niko would be able to make a new life there, even if they’d always miss their momma and probably resent me for it... *sigh* its still better than 400+ other people not even getting the chance to make a new life, JUST so one mom and their kid can be happy but still it hurts dear god making the ‘right decision’ doesnt matter when it still hurts both decisions would be wrong to someone...

at least I didnt cry as much as I could have, cos I knew in advance that there’s a newgame plus and a true ending i dunno if the true ending is happier or sadder tho but DEAR GOD i would have been SO pissed off if i fell for the game’s stupid trick and never found the newgame plus and this was just THE END FOREVER fuk u developers u aint so clever *waving middle fingers as i descend into a quicksand of tears* god im not even emotionally okay enough to start playing again now i know i have to play two more times aaaaa and I have to see the other bad ending too aaaaaaaa and i have to walk through everywhere again now with the knowledge of how it ends AND the newgame plus has added dialogues and stuff just to rub it in aaaaaaaaaaa god i dont know whether to congratulate the developer or be REALLY ANGRY at them god just fuck me up AAAAAAAAAAA i am not a god, please stop giving me the responsibilities of a god please can anyone else decide who lives and dies please can niko hug their mom again without everyone else losing their moms in order to do it AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA this game.