#authentic human connections are only made when ppl dont hide themselves (eleanor to chidi and jason to janet) and like.... | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

homingpigecns · 6 years ago

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i actually get really stressed and nervous when i have to talk to someone i don’t know that well, which i don’t really like to talk about bc it’s embarrassing for someone my age to have a problem like that but it’s so bad that like, all my friends noticed before i ever said anything

but i’ve been trying to get better at it just by interacting with people i’m not comfortable with more bc i really. cannot live my life like this. and i guess it’s been working bc i saw venom last week with my friend and the ticket ripping guy was making conversation with me and later my friend was surprised i never met the ticket guy before that

ain’t that nice. i’m no longer visibly distressed when i have to talk to strangers. you gotta take the little victories

#nursing school is like. bad for my mental health in that i like.#dont have hobbies anymore and am always abt to have a breakdown #but it is also like. fantastic for my mental health. like i'm getting better at talking to ppl #but just. the AMOUNT of ridiculously nice people ive met. its good #i went to the hospital and i spent most of the time talking to the patient bc he was rly nice #and like. also seemed bored. and i felt rly good abt it after. i rly am like..... an extrovert w anxiety #cursed combination #i used to want to be an accountant and regretted not majoring in something that would get me a desk job #but now im really happy i didnt bc like. thats more my speed where nursing is like #the antithesis to who i am currently. but if i did that and spent my career there #i almost definitely would have ended up killing myself. and thats not even like a cry for help or anything #just what would have happened. u kno. i cannot continue to live my life like this #self-improvement is a drug thats killing me. but u gotta. u kno #ive also been trying to be less fake recently. like polite but less fake. like i fucking. i read this good p/lace meta abt how like #authentic human connections are only made when ppl dont hide themselves (eleanor to chidi and jason to janet) and like....#its fuckin. true dude. a lot of times my first impression is 'i dont like this person. i feel like theyre rude'#and then i end up liking them a lot. right?? so like. even if i am weird and like. awful #at least the relationships i have with people will be real. last year i was friends with this person #and it never got out of the customer service stage and it like. wrecked me emotionally #like its easy to do customer service and its 'right' but its not real. which wont end well in the long run #anyway. just oversharing bc i have a midterm at 8. wish me luck guyz #personal #suicide mention #jaila oscillates #sometimes im Too authentic tho. this girl in college who i absolutely vibe with for NO reason #she asked me to send her the study guide that our whole year has been passing around #but what she said was 'could u hit me with that' and you can Imagine what happened next #it was 7:30 am last monday and i have NOT stopped thinking abt it. i really just fucking hit her huh #like she was cool abt it but i Really. Really just fuckin hit her #college talk

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