#auris moonlight by danilo amilo

[kote-the-inn-keeper]

//Here ya go, I guess? Kote running into Auri again after all these years. Idea came from an ask that ran through here from an anon.//

//Side note: I recommend you listen to Auri’s Moonlight as you read. It’s what I listened too.//

Kote wandered outside once more, pacing in the back of the inn. It had been a while since the weather had been nice enough to go outside, and things had been more rough than usual. Not necessarily work wise, but personally. Such as all men who run from their past, it catches up one day. The last month had been one of those ‘days’. Extended periods of sullen silence, guilt, regret, and fear. Anxiety chewing at his stomach and sending his heart fluttering like a wild bird, burden of his past weighing down on his mind and shoulders, causing him to move slower and react less. Sleep was a distant and unknown friend to him, peace wasn’t a concept he knew anymore.

Of all the worst things, he knew Bast was aware. He knew Bast wanted to say something, but couldn’t; wouldn’t really. There was nothing the fae could say that would better old wounds and hush intrusive and tempered thoughts. No action or word could do so, for Kote had tried for years to find anything that would ease such pains. Physical and mental. 

Though, one thing brought solace to his aching. Just for a little while. Something he had been doing on and off for about a month previous. While he was no longer as fit and sturdy as he used to be, Kote still dared and made an effort to climb the inn to its roof. Many times he had slipped and fallen, nearly breaking or spraining something. Many times he cursed the weather, the inn itself, his hands and feet. Yet, he continued to carry out the activity and climb to the roof for quiet and clarity above all that dragged him down.

Such as he was doing that night. The red haired man ceased his pacing and sighed slightly, looking at his more recently re-calloused hands. It had been a rather long time since his hands and shoulders ached with a dull strain. Not since he was younger, climbing roofs to survive and keep out of horrid weather. Seemed much longer ago than it truly was. Looking to the sky, it was rather clear. Clouds drifted along the sky slowly, but the moon was nearly full and visible. Shining bright enough to lead any man down a road as though he had lanterns with him. 

Kote pulled himself up carefully onto the window ledge and placed his foot against the stone wall to brace himself.

The air was crisp and cold, without the sun to warm the grass and buildings anymore. While the inn gave off a gentle warmth from holding heat in its shingles and the fire within, it didn’t stop the world from being cold enough to nip at bare skin his shirt hem exposed with his reaching. The town was quiet, considering the time of night it was. None the less, the only sounds were his boots scraping the stone of the inn and the gentle breeze that blew through and rustled the nearby forest.

His hand slipped and nearly sent him toppling. But, Kote managed to keep his hold with his other hand and balance out, giving a heavy sigh and pulling himself up to the second level of the inn. 

He was more than aware that Bast knew what he was doing. It wasn’t as though he were hiding his late night actions, nor trying to be all too quiet about it. All he knew, for a fact, was that Bast would say nothing of the subject, perhaps from his shorter temper or from a quick hash of things the fae should have been doing instead of snooping. No matter the reason, Kote wasn’t hiding anything in his actions or intentions on being above the small town. 

Finally onto the roof, Kote gathered his breath as he slowly got to his feet. Stepping carefully on the shingles that he oh so hated as a young boy, the innkeeper made his way to the peak of part of the inn, where a wood bean held it together. Careful not to slip any of the shingles out from where they were places, Kote made it to where he wanted and slowly sat himself down. The wood was warm from the heat inside the inn, making him a little less cold out in the open.

Above everything, the innkeeper could see the forest, his garden and wood pile, and the long expansion of wilderness that went beyond. If he had been sitting the other way, away from the moon, he would see all of the town in a simple glimpse. The farms, the fields, and the road that snaked out and away into more populated parts of the region. But, that was against his interest, so it didn’t matter at all to him.

Dull green eyes slowly looked up toward the almost full moon, white as clean sheets and as distant as a memory. The innkeeper leaned forward slightly, resting his arms on his knees and keeping silent. There was no need for speaking; no one was listening. No one would listen, even if they wanted. The silence he bore was a silence of his own; not man made nor situational. It wasn’t a type of silence anyone could just hear or feel. Intangible, unrecognizable, and dare be spoken more silent than silence itself. It was an inward silence that billowed and shook a core of anyone who could try and hear it. An uneasy and frighting type of thing that could only be created and carried by a person with more things to hide than things anyone should ever have too. A very rare silence. A silence all his own that engulfed anything around him to try and soften all that had ever happened. A silence that in trying to help, only made things worse.

Kote grit his teeth and clenched his fists, biting back the want to howl the agony of a lifetime to the moon so it could carry such weight instead of him. The past month had been the worst on him yet, since he had left and changed years ago. People who reminded him of others had wandered in, too similar for him to keep speaking without a voice crack having to be hidden as a cold. People whose smiles were heartbreaking to him because they were just as sweet and true as another he once held dearly. People whose laughs were contagious, but also wounded him from reminding him how happy he had been at a point and time. Voices that were too similar in tone and fluctuation for him to serve them directly -- sending Bast to do it instead. It all built up so quickly; too quickly.

Guilt of not speaking, not sending letters, and not apologizing rose. He had claimed it was to protect them and to keep them safe, but how could he do so if he had no idea that they were well and still alive? Such thoughts crossed his mind and broke him nearly daily. What if all he had done didn’t help anyone -- only hurting more people? What if his friends were in such disasters and he would never know? 

Kote put his head in his hands, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes and grasping at his hair that hung lose as he leaned forward, nearly curling up on himself. It hurt. It all hurt. Phantom pains, remembering all he had done and not done, and all that he wished he could have said before just vanishing. Teeth clenched and a sob trying to push its way up his throat, he held his breath. Breaking. 

A roof shingle shifted off to his right, near the chimney. 

“Bast, I said--!” Kote snapped immediately, throwing his hands down to grab the beam under him as he turned towards the noise. About to continue his bark of a demand, his words fell flat and stopped.

Someone stood partially behind the chimney, slightly illuminated by the moon. One a slender leg and what seemed to be a blue dress revealed itself as a cloud rolled past the moon. Everything was darker for a long moment, but, the person did not leave. They showed themselves a little more then, watching the red head as he watched her. 

Blond hair waved around in the breeze as a halo around her fair face and shoulders. She looked rather petite, but a woman, not a child, none the less. Her eyes were curious and confused, seeming to track even his breathing as she seemed to wait for him to respond to something she hadn’t even said. Her slender fingers were gently wrapped around the brick chimney’s corner, keeping her balanced and ready to hide once more.

Kote stared for a long, long while. Words seemed to fail him no matter what he tried to speak. But, before he could say anything, the woman spoke first.

“Kvothe? My sweet Kvothe?” She asked, voice of gentle bells and summer lavender. She spoke but barely a murmur, unsure and nervous. “Are... you my Kvothe?”

He didn’t speak, shifting a little more to get a better look at her. It only startled her, causing her to retreat behind the chimney all except a small bit of blond white hair and a foot. He stopped moving and finally took a breath, tears in his eyes. “...Auri?” He asked, voice cracking.

She peeked around once more, only showing part of her face to him. Not a word was spoken, waiting for an answer.

“Auri, I --.” Kote tried once more, voice halting in his throat and sending tears to finally fall from his eyes. She was safe. She was alive. Auri was alive and safe and there was no other thought in his mind. Relief washed over him like a cold river, also waking him up to the reality he had also left her again without a word. 

Auri hid slightly once more, only gently moving out from behind the chimney as the moon hid once more under a small blanket of dark clouds. Her steps were as light and dainty as ever; nearly dancing about with each toe lead step. She wore a blue dress that was seemingly brand new, only a few small tears along the bottom of the skirt, probably from climbing about. Bare foot, careful, and almost the same as she had been years ago. The only differences were that she looked older now, a bit more well fed. 

Kote suppressed the want to get up quickly and grab her into a hug, knowing it would scare her away. “I... I was Kvothe.” He finally replied once she got as close as she seemed comfortable with.

“Was? Where did he go?” She questioned, crouching down a few feet away from him. Perfectly balanced on beam, back against the chimney, she waited. Her hands were placed in a manner to get up and leave swiftly if needed.

“Was.” He repeated. “I’m... older now. And I changed my name to Kote. I’m Kote now.”

A long pause.

“It’s suiting.” Auri said, as though she knew so already. “Always changing; it wasn’t all too fitting for you to keep the same name always. But, you are still my sweet and dearest Kote, right?”

Kote smiled softly and let out a short sob, trying to wipe his face of tears. “I would hope so... Auri, I don’t have a gift for you.”

“Nonsense.” The woman replied, getting up and walking towards him. She sat next to him in a rather dignified manner and gently reached forward, pulling him into a soft hug against her chest as she had did once before. “You are giving me a friend again. And your tears hold stories for me to read later.” She spoke softly, wiping his cheek of a few tears with her thumb.

Kote immediately wrapped his arms around her waist and cried. He was thankful and sorrowful. Thankful that Auri was back and no scared of him after all he was sure she had heard of him. But, sorrow still clung to his heart. Remorse over leaving her with no warnings, never speaking to her again, and forcing her to find him some how. For such, he wept quietly against Auri as she comforted him at such a late hour of the night.

Auri played with his fire red hair, rubbing strands between her fingers and holding him close. She knew who he was and what he had to do. As for the time being, he needed to cry. She understood and could feel he needed too a mile away. It was much more sadness than she had felt on him before. “Don’t worry. I’m here now. You’re safe.” Auri spoke gently to the innkeeper, placing her hand on his head gently.