#augurghrhrh i wanna work on the charns SO BAD
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pain and suffering on planet earth < still sick
#augurghrhrh i wanna work on the charns SO BAD#fucking dies#last night i had a Crisis and i was thinking about . so many things. i should get a job + do commissions for money and also get my life toge#ther but like. realistically ik that i wont be able to do that. hm now im thinking i should go to get diagnosed for adhd / autism. hm. well!#i was thonking about cosplay stuff before all of that and that sparked me realizing that im a real person that needs money to do things#sometimes i forget that i have a life outside the screen .#its strange . i have a specific feeling in my head but idk if i can put it into words. its like remembering that oh#there is beauty int he world. type of beat ykno. but its like oh. im a person. and usually i kinda hate that i dont like being percieved???#but recently its more. huh. im alive. im alive and thats great. i should make my life better < but more as if im talking abt sm1 else#liek that one poem / quote thing i brush her hair because she deserves it bc i deserve it type beat#hm. being percieved as a living being doesnt sound bad right now. i think im spitting nonsense b. im sick. woo!#nova.txt
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