#augh I am so fucking lucky to have the brother I do

[wearenotasfarwest]

A few weeks ago, maybe even months now, I went to the mall with my brother and in a weird little store that just sells the weirdest collection of inventory (it’s your one stop shop for all of the seasons of Fraser on DVD, a plushie of your favorite k-pop idol, Naruto themed Yahtzee, and a CD of Leeanne Womack’s I Hope You Dance!) we found this book, and I… wanted it. I wanted it. I wanted it very badly. I wanted it so badly that after we left the store, I started crying.

I had the money, but my mental health was also at an all time low and I felt guilty. Yes, L is one of my top ten favorite characters. Yes, I would love to read more about him and also Naomi and know at least when I read the last page, they’ll be okay for now. But who was I to want something so beautiful? What possibly made me think that I deserved it, with its beautiful black but silver embossed cover and it’s book ribbon and just high quality, beautiful book, even though I would unquestionably love it?

I went back to the store a few days later with my mom and wanted to show it to her, secretly hoping she would give me permission to buy it, but it was gone. I tried to be mature and put on a brave face and say that was okay because surely, whoever it belonged to would love it. You don’t buy a book like this without already loving the Death Note universe.

Now, my brother was a little late ordering my birthday (late August) gifts and also accidentally sent one to the last address Redbubble had used, which was one of his friends in another state and ever since has been waiting for the friend to send it to us. He has told me, however, that it’s a bag and there is also going to be something in the bag. They haven’t yet so Chet gave up on his plan of that and just told me to check my bookshelf, and sure enough, between I Am A Cat and You Feel It Just Below Your Ribs…

[organizationhimself]

Dark Bramble Guide [Taco Bell update]

My friend keeps getting deep space murdered so I figured I would help.  Please note: I am extremely witty and hilarious and I know it.​

So here’s what I’ve learned.

Dark Bramble has five SIX AUGH different openings.  Four along the sides, one on “top,” and one on the “bottom.”  I consider Dark Bramble to be “upright” when it is oriented like so:

Most of the time you’re going to be dumped in front of the four middle openings, which can be the hardest to recognize if you don’t know where to look.

I’ve also determined two routes.  In some cases you can get straight to the Vessel, and in others it’s better to go to the Escape Pod 3 first, and then change your marker to the Vessel (which at least gives you something to do while you’re floating past the three fish).  There is ALWAYS a fish guarding a Vessel seed, but the one in the Escape Pod room is much easier to avoid aggroing as a rule.

Bear in mind that when identifying these routes, I have just shot for my targets (Escape Pod, Vessel) completely full throttle the entire time, not giving a fuck in the world, and eliminated routes that get me eaten this way.  So the key to fish avoidance is to go in one direction as much as possible and avoid firing your rockets in any other directions; often I have been able to full throttle right past a fish that didn’t get upset till I fired a rocket to one side or the other.

I’ve decided to help identify these with some features I call the Dewclaw and the Forsaken Breadstick:

Right in between the Dewclaw and the Breadstick, we have Chili’s:

Chili’s has an Escape Pod in an ok place close by the entrance, and if you’re practicing going straight from Timber Hearth to Dark Bramble, you will always see Chili’s first.  But there’s some vines and stuff in the way of the Escape Pod that make this route sub-par.  There’s better places, so we’re gonna skip Chili’s.  Let’s talk about Tim Hortons.

Tim Hortons is always to the right of Chili’s and the Breadstick and has the best Escape Pod route on the planet, apart from his brother Tom Hortons (who we will get to later).  There’s no fish getting to the Escape Pod’s seed, it’s VERY close, and I have always avoided fish on my way to the Vessel seed from very soon after entering the room unless I was looking for a fish for Science (though there’s some annoying twisting geometry in the way if you don’t go in the direction of the Escape Pod for a bit).  His Vessel route is very dangerous (2 fish yikes) and I got insanely lucky, so that’s a hard no.

This Escape Pod is the route I used to beat the game, so I’m sure it works once you have the warp core (I don’t know if more fish can spawn after you get the warp core but just in case).

Left of Chili’s, we have Olive Garden:

So at first I didn’t really recommend Olive Garden, because I thought the Escape Pod route was ideal and its Escape Pod will absolutely kill you.  But its Vessel route is actually pretty straightforward and could actually be a winner (I had a hard time attracting the attention of its fish).  It seems like Olive Garden tends to be the facing you get when you go straight from the Twins to Dark Bramble with the warp core so it’s probably the one most people naturally go into first.

To the right of Olive Garden (and left of Tim), basically in the “back” of Dark Bramble if you’re facing Chili’s like when you first arrive, there’s Tim’s brother Tom.  This far around it’s hard to see our main two landmarks so here’s a newer, shittier one (sorry):

I called him Tom Hortons because at first I thought he was basically a copy of Tim’s, but Tom is actually better because Tom is an all around yes man.  You want to go Escape Pod?  Do it bud.  Vessel seed?  Yeah man.  Tom’s a bro.  However he is, as I discovered intensely painfully, very easy to mistake for Dark Bramble’s sixth location (the one most visible from directly on “top”), which I have decided to call Taco Bell because it is a pain in my ass:

Taco Bell is kind of caged in by everybody’s sick ‘do’s and is most easily accessible from going around back of Chili’s, to either Olive Garden or Tom Hortons.  It has a perfectly acceptable Escape Pod, and its Vessel seed is basically completely hit or miss.  There’s a vine in front of it in some orientations, so if you go the wrong way around it there’s a Very Mad fish. So like, unless you’re aiming for an Escape Pod route, just don’t go to Taco Bell, y’know?  It’s not worth it.

Finally, on the bottom, there’s Subway:

Subway is extremely easy to find because it’s on the very bottom and caged inside a bunch of vines that can be a little tricky to navigate.  Also, its Escape Pod route will kill you.  Its Vessel route may, potentially, also kill you--I found the fish easier to aggro--but it is very close and convenient like Olive Garden and Tom Hortons.  Basically you might as well go to one of those, they’re just as close and easier on entry, but if you’re really struggling to identify them then Subway is impossible to miss.  You have to want to go there.

Again, orientation is EVERYTHING in Dark Bramble, so if I say things are in the upper left/right/whatever then that’s gonna be meaningless if you approach from a different angle, but here are some outside and inside photos from the center openings as approached from an “upright” angle.  This is proceeding around Dark Bramble’s center, starting from Chili’s and moving right:

Taco Bell on top and Subway on bottom are impossible for me to give a consistent orientation for, so Subway may vary significantly from what you see depending on your angle:

Taco Bell is a pain in the ass so it gets two of these based on which other (better) opening you face before you fly “up” over it:

So basically, the safe Escape Pod seeds tend to be very close to the ceiling or wall and out of the way, and if the Vessel seed looks far away I’d try another entrance.  From cross-referencing I have determined that a safe initial distance is usually between 1 and 1.3km, and a distance between 1.5 and 1.7km almost certainly has a fish, but again some orientations may still end up attracting attention where others would not.

Best Escape Pod Routes:

Tom Hortons

Tim Hortons

Taco Bell

Chili's (obstructed)

Best Vessel Routes:

Tom Hortons

Olive Garden

Subway

Taco Bell (obstructed)

I am pretty sure that both the Escape Pod room and the Vessel room are the same entrance flipped around different ways no matter where you enter the seed, and it’s really impossible to make the orientation consistent, but as a result both the Pod and the Vessel should be in the same place and you can navigate from there.

If you choose to take an Escape Pod route, I’d recommend aiming for the Escape Pod itself until you see a really prominent red glow from the Vessel seed.  This can help you avoid all the crap floating around in the way, and it’s also completely safe once you get into the vines (I have never been eaten there from any orientation).  Alternatively, following the lights to the dead Nomai also gives you a straight shot to the Vessel seed with what feels to me like the smallest possible chance of running into a fish (I think this is a gameplay mechanic), but it takes longer.

Once you actually make it into the Vessel seed DO NOT MOVE.  You will not hit the fish.  You cannot hit the fish.  You will literally go through the fish, and then it’s ok to start accelerating up to 2 bars as long as you are under 900km away from the Vessel marker (but probably safer at under 800km). After further testing, I’m pretty sure there’s only one fish inconveniently close to the final seed, which you pass on the way.  I tend to be drifting at this point to make sure I don’t slam into the branch between me and the seed, so I don’t recommend going above 1 bar around here if you can help it, the fish is more aggressive than I first thought and it’s kind of 50/50 whether he’ll actually chase you.

Fortunately, there’s a pretty foolproof direction to go in:

This last branch before the seed has a little curved area that is the perfect size for your ship, and if you go through it while still aiming for the Vessel, you will be almost perfectly lined up for an opening.  (In this particular orientation I managed not to alert the fish at all, but it’s not a good idea to stop to adjust here, I’d just aim for this opening regardless.)

I think this section is kinda designed for the fish to notice you, and even if he does, you’re generally going to be close enough to the seed to make it inside before he can reach you.  But sometimes he screams at me just as I’m about to go inside it even if he made no reaction before, so be prepared for that possibility.

Last tips: -If you do attract a fish, try to put it between you and a seed.  It will get slowed down or stuck in the geometry, giving you some time to go into the seed. -If a fish groans and comes your way, stop thrusting IMMEDIATELY.  If you go dark before it screams, it will go where it last heard the noise and you can coast right past.  (It helps to be going at a pretty fast pace.) -For endgame setup, I found 2:00 - 3:00 to be an optimal timing to doze off at the fire before going to Ash Twin to catch the first cycle (but that can vary across consoles/computers).

(Edit: Looks like my theme is not nice to these images so larger versions are available here if you need clearer ones, or the full guide is also up on Steam now because I am a menace.)

On a final note, Outer Wilds doesn’t care about your suffering, which is why the very first time I finally pulled out the warp core, Ember Twin got ahold of my ship and did this shit to it:

thanks for coming to my ted talk good luck with ur endless fish.

@autopotion

[bending-sickle]

random question meme i found on @misskillamarmalade‘s lj as i was trying to catch up

Are you named after someone? nope. and not named for anything in particular. my mom just liked the sound of it and she and my brother won out the vote against my dad, who wanted alejandra. (later, i’d meet an alejandra who was almost given my name, in a similar fashion) When was the last time you cried? three hours ago? it’s been a shit day.

Do you like your handwriting? i have lots of different handwritings...  i generally like most of them. What is your favourite lunch meat? spanish lomo, although spanish ham wins out if it’s the good kind, and i appreciate a slice of mortadella.

Do you have kids? nope If you were another person, would you be friends with you? i would likely not know i exist, or only have a passing dealing with, because i am a hermit who goes nowhere there are people. more likely, i’d exchange puns over the internet. Do you use sarcasm? do i use sarcasm? i don’t know, meme, do i? Do you still have your tonsils? yepper. Would you bungee jump? my first instinct is no but...y’know what, put me in front of one and i might just say, fuck it.

What is your favourite kind of cereal? i fondly remember cinnamon toast crunch, but haven’t had it in, gosh, a decade and spare change, probably. chocolate rice krispies and honey nut cheerios also come to mind. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? yep. Do you think you’re a strong person? what, like physically? mentally? metaphorically? eh. yeah, sorta, and *derisive laughter*

What is your favourite ice cream? coffee. and if i can have two, then hazelnut. the best combo. What is the first thing you notice about people? are they responsive. like, if i smile at them do they smile back? do they care that i said hello or do they give me a glare? are they approachable? What colour pants and shoes are you wearing now? none and none. it’s 28.5 in my room. y’all are lucky i’m wearing clothes. What are you listening to right now? the neighbours talking and the swallows chirping.

If you were a crayon, what colour would you be? unmellow yellow. manatee. turquoise blue. Favourite smell? petrichor. wood smoke. hay. horse. a sun-warmed dry field in the summer (the smell of my childhood). four o’clock flowers. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? my brother, although “spoke to” is a bit generous. more like “awkward silences”. and he wanted to talk. but i ran out of topics and he was all “anything else?” and i knew, just knew, he meant job-wise, and i was like fuck that so “nope” Favourite sport to watch? showjumping, dressage, floor gymnastics, snooker, rugby. Hair colour? dark brown with so much white, old dark copper dye remnants, and two turquoise streaks.

Eye colour? "hazel” which is to say green with brown center streaks. Do you wear contacts? yep. have since... oh god, um. early teens. so almost two decades now. Scary movies or comedy? ...horror, i suppose. if you make me choose. Last movie you watched? i saw the light (2015). i was awful. What colour of shirt are you wearing? three shades of blue (navy, some sort of like, sapphire, and sky)

Summer or winter? rainy season. Hugs or kisses? hugs

What book are you currently reading? Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men (2003) by Lundy Bancroft

What is on your mouse pad? HOW OLD IS THIS MEME??? What is the last TV program you watched? i’m currently half-watching monty python’s flying circus and before that orphan black which i think i’m going to abandon because augh

What is the best sound? heavy rain on a tin roof.

Rolling Stones or The Beatles? neither. both. idec. What is the furthest you have ever traveled? furthest from...where? or like, the longest distance? i suppose costa rica to spain (via miami) would be that...

Do you have a special talent? nope. i work hard for my mediocre skills. Where were you born? Braine-l'Alleud which is just a hop away from brussels and misspelt on all my documents because of it was handwritten in my parents’ family book (the official document where marriages and children are written) and when it was typed up, they mistook the u for an n. which. fuck. (i mean, i could get it fixed but eh.)

[cwdcshows]

Supergirl - S5 E7 - Tremors

Why wouldn't you use your inception contacts on your would be assassin from a shadow organization? Wait, Lex never found the Fortress?  Didn't he though?  Does Lena just not know this?  I could have sworn Tess was there too....

I know, I know, Mitch Pileggi has done a lot other things besides X-Files; and typecasting is a terrible thing.  But not matter what else I see him in, or even if I like his other roles, he'll always be Walter Skinner. What's with the Millennial jibes so far in this episode?  First, Skinner's girlfriend makes a crack about "the Snowflake generation," which seemed random; and then Brainiac comments about Self-culture.  These seems like pointless asides; especially considering you don't need "self-culture" to have footage of the Leviathan attack, when it occurs at a fucking press conference or whatever the hell Lena was doing out there at a podium that she made some poor intern schlep out there for.  You're telling me know one was taking video or photos for this purpose? Noah's flood? For someone who's spent so much time convincing the world he doesn't exist, there's still a surprisingly significant paper trail following him throughout history. But come on, dinosaurs went extinct roughly 65 million years ago and humans did begin to appear until roughly between 5-7 million years ago - that's a hell of a gap to just hang around on earth being the literal lord of the flies....and tiny rodents, etc. Man, either Kara's really dumb or Lena's a truly master manipulator; and I just can't decide whi.....Kara's really dumb.  Seriously, it was bad enough when Lena tricked her into stealing Lex's diary from lock-up; now she's giving away trade secrets left and right. Okay, I admit, under any other circumstances it shouldn't seem so unusual for Kara to be so trusting of a friend as to take them to the Fortress; she's done it before.  Yet knowing what we know, Lena doesn't even seem to be trying that hard and Kara's just giving her everything she wants; and perhaps the most frustrating part is Lena being oblivious to the fact that Kara is willing to be that open and trusting of Lena and it's actually Lena who is abusing the trust in their relationship. "You're going to need a jacket." Come on Kara.... you could just help keep her warm..... 🤷‍♂️ Alex: Hey, this guy we've been looking for who's just casually out in the open where anybody and everybody who's looking for can find him; and he's not moving.  I guess we're just lucky and should continue to approach him with abandon.  On an unrelated note, did you know that the only answer I got wrong on my covert agents exam was the definition of the word "booby trap"?  Something about the word "booby" made my mind wander; and in hindsight, realizing my attraction to women probably shouldn't have come quite so much as a surprise to me.  What's that Brainy?  What do you mean, "bomb"?  I didn't bomb the test.  I told you, the only answer I got wrong was booby trap....haha....booby......" Do I regret the sophomoric turn this review has taken? Not really, no. Augh, this is, for the most part, not a criticism of the show per se, and it is what it is, because it's not like they're establishing something new, it's how they've always depicted the Fortress, but I am so sick and tired of every iteration of the Fortress of fucking Solitude looking like the Fortress from the Christopher Reeve movie.  It was fine for the time; especially given the logistical and budgetary concerns that necessitated making Krypton a frozen wasteland in that movie.  But God I hate the randomly strewn crystal spikes design.  I hated when they used it on Smallville and I hate it now.  This is supposed to be the architecture of an advanced race. How the hell does Papa J'Onzz know all of this about J'Onn's brother Steve?  Ostensibly Papa J is just some sort of psychic echo of J'Onn's father inside J'Onn's mind; meaning that he actually knows all of these things and he's essentially having a conversation with his subconscious, being told things he already knows and some of it he shouldn't be able to know.... I'm so glad the Fortress computer specified the Lex Luthor that was brother to Lena Luthor; otherwise I would have assume he was talking about the stockpile of Kryptonian killing weapons created by Lex Luthor, the CPA from Secaucus, New Jersey..... So Jarhanpur was a sister planet of Krypton?  Why?  That system seems to have been really fucking crowded, between Krypton, Daxom and now Jarhanpur. Man, Kara's really booty blinded by Lena; that's the best I can figure out. I'd have given anything for Lena to say, "Lex designed that to fit underneath his many mirkins...." "If there's one weapon I could destroy, it'd be that one." So why fucking don't you? Kelly: "I can't....." Yay!!!!!!!!!    🤸🕺🕺🤸 I mean..... awwwwwwwweeee............noooooo......say it ain't so............ Jesus, Leviathan apparently has the same security as Team and Arrow and STAR Labs.... What the fuck difference does it make whether it's the Fortress or Earth?  A) That's not how matter works, and B) Wrath of Kahn isn't from Earth to begin with - you just said he's from a sister planet of fucking Krypton! I absolutely expected Lena to use her inception lenses to make Kara forget their whole conversation. The scene between J'Onn and his brother was okay; a little maudlin, a few times it felt more like a soap opera; and I feel like they could have done more with Malefic's glimpse into J'Onn's mind. Oh, good, Alex and Kelly are making up.....I'm.....so.....happy.......(sigh)