#atleast when my sister was there she would change the topic bc she knows i will get my hopes up and be disappointed

[thebluebygracieabrams]

i sorely miss my sister sooo much

[itonashi]

STOP ASKING ME.

pairing: ego jinpachi x lil sister!reader

warning: cursing, kys jokes, other chars mentioned ofc, ego being ego

notes: this is just a fic with no plot in mind 😭 for a req in wattpad!! but posting it here first bc in comfortable with tumblr than wattpad. literally just random talking idk 😞

why is anri teieri fuming and complaining to you about you older brother? well you certainly understand her aggressiveness towards him. ego jinpachi is definitely not the person you would go to for advices.

"that guy, he put a bunch of mayonnaise on the dish i made for him to eat healthy! who does he think he is? i just wanted him to eat healthy for once instead of him eating those bundle of instant noodle! the nerve of this guy."

"see? this is why you should never care about my brother. he can die for all i care."

"uhh.. is this really the two of you relationship?"

"huh? no."

anri is glad that you are here helping the blue lock program even though you said that you wanted to do it so you could sponsor one of the players here. atleast she won't be lonely most of the time especially when dealing with ego obnoxious behavior. you had been a great help on the program.

"why are you looking at me like that?"

"you've become rude."

"huh. i think you should start looking at a mirror, bowl-cut."

your relationship with ego is not that strained (in your perspective) but this is a chances for you to become closer with him in this blue lock program. ego had always been absent in your life because of his stupid career before the blue lock happened.

while inspecting the other players match, you could heard him slurping his noodles up like he hasn't eaten for days. "stop making noises while eating." you voiced your complain.

"it's not even bothering you to inspect the players."

"it does."

"who is the player you're going to sponsor?"

ego didn't bother to change the way he is eating and ask you the question you have been waiting for him to ask. anri is in the room too so she stop the thing she was doing so she could hear your answer. pondering for a moment on who you want to sponsor.

"hmm... maybe chigiri hyoma?"

"are you doing this because of his beauty or his talent."

feeling exposed, you just hum at the words ego just said but there was another reason. if chigiri hyoma is injured again, the sponsor money will be going towards his treatment but you did stated to ego that you will not be choosing only one player to sponsor but three of them. chigiri hyoma was one of them.

"[name], how do you think miracles work?"

"don't ask me about this shit. i don't care about it."

"then what do you care about? fate?"

"the topic of this discussion is not my thing. stop asking me about it, jin. we don't know what's our fate in this world."

"are you sure about it?"

you ignored his last question, you didn't want to answer his stupid question about fate and miracles. if this is how he want to bond over for siblings then you don't want to be in it. anri feels the tension in the room after the conversation and got chills over it. you said that you two relationship isn't strained but why does anri doesn't feel it?

even if anri ask you about it, you will probably talk in riddles about you and ego's sibling relationship. you will never give straight answer.

"clean the room, asshole! don't make anri the only one doing the work." you retort at your older brother laziness of cleaning the room. just because the contract say he would only be involved in soccer's issues doesn't mean he can dangle around his legs and eat instant noodle and not clean his room!

does this brother of yours even cared about maintenance? he should just live with cockroaches at this point.

"the contract only says i have help on soccer."

"kill yourself."

of course, ego isn't in the slightest bothered by your aggressiveness towards him and the kill yourself jokes you just make. it was a daily thing to him. you were cursing under your breath while picking up his dirty ass clothes. how is ego jinpachi even related to you?

"for once, eat something healthy and don't even think about putting an exaggerating amount of mayonnaise on it. anri goes out her way to even cook you real food!"

seeing ego always eat instant noodles just worries you about his health. you know what happened to him in the past and you don't want him to risk his health. you don't want to be alone again. one way or another is hiding his packets of instant noodle to stop him from eating some.

"where's the other?"

you were checking the players files and improvement after the second selection when ego ask you where did the other packet of instant noodles go. he knew it was you who hid it. you simply just looked at him with a bored expression and shrugged your shoulders — going back to doing your work.

the door of the room open and the aroma of food comes. "i cooked some stir fried vegetables!" anri beamed holding two plates of stir fried vegetables.

"don't even think of looking for the mayonnaise bottle, jin."

"tch."

to think you would actually force ego to eat anri's cooking. anri is happy that ego was eating real food for once. atleast now her eyes won't hurt from seeing him eating instant noodles now. anri hope that now ego would only eat instant noodle once in awhile. you could basically feel the happy energy anri was letting out.

chigiri hyoma, nagi seishiro and lastly isagi yoichi. this were the players you are sponsoring for.

"you actually make a great choice for once but it isn't gonna last long."

"ok."

"the fuck was that dry response for, [name]."

you roll your eyes at ego's words. so what if you pick the glass prodigy, the lazy genius and the heart of blue lock.

notes: a small fic for once! i have more draft pls patiently wait. im posting this one out so that i have some ideas out. remember do not eat instant noodle to much! eat healthy for once.

[ndksicksxijsksidis]

I’m in such a weird sad mood today and hhh

yesterday / today i spent til 2am talking to my mum about how I’m gonna finally move to her house permanently at some point, and I just wanna talk about some stuff I’ve been thinking about since and it may make no sense whatsoever and it’s really long and just me getting all my thoughts out so don’t read it if you don’t want to I won’t care I just need somewhere to let everything out because I suddenly feel like I’m going to explode

when my mum said that we would have to be the ones to tell our dad because it has to come from us not her, I said “what if he gets angry and doesn’t want us to move?” She said “what’s the worst he could do?” And it actually made me realise that he couldn’t actually do anything. The worst thing he would do to is about it is maybe hit us or hurt us in some way but maybe now even that because he hasn’t done that for a long while? The worst he could really do is shout and I have to remember that if i want to make my life better I have to be responsible for it? I’m so fucking useless and I’m the opposite of self reliant, if there’s the option for me to depend on my mum to talk to my dad about what he’s done to me instead of telling him myself that I don’t like what he’s doing, I let her, because I’m too damn scared to do anything and I piss myself off because what thefuck am I scared of? I’ve been brought up on his side to keep quiet about what I think, what I think about everything doesn’t matter because guess what!! all my family members tell me “listen to your dad he knows what he’s talking about he’s doing it for the best!!” so I have almost no one on my dads side to support me through it. My mum says I should tell my aunts and uncles about it and they could have a word with him or atleast know how he treats us but I’m scared they’ll go against me for it because that’s what they all did to my mum even though my dad was always in the wrong? In every situation? I know I’ve brought this up before but he put my mum in such a shitty position even before I was born like he made her pay for everything and she was literally on anti depressants from how bad everything was getting? She started smoking for 5 months without telling me and my sister even recently because sometimes she still can’t take all the pressure he still gives her even though they’re finally fully divorced? He never gave my mum a reason but he refused to be romantic with her (which would be fine if he had said he was aromantic or something and that was why but he never mentioned the topic) and when my mum asked him if he actually loved her he just said “well I married you didn’t I” And not even as a joke it was in an offensive way? All these things are convincing me even more that I need to leave as soon as I can but then sometimes confusing things happen and I don’t know what to think. Recently my dads been a bit better (???) but that may seem that way because we Barely see him. He never hits us anymore like he used to, I don’t hate it as much as I used to. I think the only reason I hate going to his house is because I’m in fear of what could happen because it’s been so bad in the past. Of course I want stuff to get better but I’m a way I don’t want being at his to get better? I don’t want it to get so ok that I feel like all my past rants and crying for ages was just an overreaction because I already am the most sensitive person in the world and cry at absolutely anything that hurts me? A friend could make a joke thats only a tiny bit offensive and I would be on the verge of tears. I want to move to my mums knowing I made the right decision. I’m not going to be able to see my mum as much when I stay with her permanently bc she has a new job and all our holidays put together are worth 14 weeks and she’s only allowed to take 6 weeks off work. I’m going to have to stay home alone quite a lot. But I guess it’s still the better option, I can be more organised, I can finally keep all my stuff in one place, I can be happy, I don’t have to be worrying the night before about how I have to make the most of that night because I won’t be at that house for a few days. Yeah it sounds stupid but I feel ten times more at home at my mums than my dads. I can talk freely and say what I like, my mum considers my opinions, I have the most lovely family in the world on her side, I can arrange more times for me to meet up with friends, and I can just live a normal (ish) life?

That leads me on to my last point. I find it weird to think about if i had had the average childhood most people I know had. They had two parents in the same house all the time, they weren’t scared to death half the time, they had at least average levels of confidence? They could make friends and talk to people without getting really awkward and anxious? The whole concept just seems completely unrealistic to me because my life was never normal like everyone else’s was. If I had been brought up with more confidence I would have made friends in primary school instead of sitting alone in the library or benches outside reading books at lunch or literally? just walking around the netball court for that whole lunch time? The one friend I had before year 6 was my idiot of an ex best friend who I hated but I stuck with because I had no one else? She kept saying she thought her parents were gonna divorce just bc they were rarely arguing and to this day theyre still married. I’m convinced she knew how self conscious I was and never bothered to help me with it. I’ve changed so much since then, I actually have friends now which I find so hard to believe because I’m an actual mess and I’m annoying and selfish and I’m just a really bad person in general even though I try to be the opposite? No one else realised my bad traits like jealousy and selfishness bc i try to hide them, I don’t say anything when I get jealous because I realise I’m being selfish so I just keep my thoughts to myself but then I’m on the verge of a breakdown? Also earlier I mentioned I’m sensitive, whenever I feel like I’m about to cry it’s really obvious bc my eyes start to water and I try to make loads of jokes and act all happy and laugh a lot, almost trying to force the sadness back by acting like I’m happy when I’m really really not? I love my friends so much and I’m so glad they want to be friends with me but I don’t know why they do? Why would you want to be friends with an emotional mess like me? I always have something to complain about it’s so fucking stupid

Ok wow I went of on a tangent but rant over I’m just,,,,,, sad