#ateez seonghwa christmas

[renjunniez]

❥ for @wifehwa

[atzfilm]

— 『 𝐖𝐎𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐑𝐖𝐀𝐋𝐋; 𝐨𝐭8 』 [4] (M)

— 𝚠𝚘𝚗 • 𝚍𝚎𝚛 • 𝚠𝚊𝚕𝚕, adjective. having someone who serves as a pillar in your life, who offers a sturdy place to lean in times of trouble. somebody you find yourself thinking about constantly and are completely infatuated with.

❝humans were such strange creatures. wretched in their mere existence. none of the eight were ever truly interested in them until they found you. they just find it strange that despite their status and rank, you'd rather spend time with your lover. that isn't much of a problem, though. one they can fix with ease.❞

〘ʏᴀɴᴅᴇʀᴇ, ᴍʏᴛʜ, ꜱᴍᴜᴛ, ꜰᴀᴇʀɪᴇꜱ〙(m.list)

— pairing: ot8 x reader, mxm; mingi x reader (this chapter); 9.6k

— note: this is a yandere fic. sensitive topics such as manipulation, gaslighting, murder, and other topics involved with the genre. please heed the warnings and read this work of fiction while keeping this in mind. also note: these chapters are very much introductory of each character & their roles, so smut is further down the line ♡.

CHAPTER WARNINGS: murder references, manipulation, blood, dark magic, kidnapping, emotional turmoil, injuries, smut referenced

Chapter 4:

"Do you think she's fairing well?" Wooyoung steps over a pile of debris, slipping closer to him. "The others are taking care of her?"

"What is with you and this woman?" Yeosang glances at him. Wooyoung's fingers are outstretched, his hand slipping into his with ease. The latter says nothing to deter his touch, knowing it's something that calms him. "Do you desire her?"

"Yes," Wooyoung shrugs. "But that's not the only reason. She's simple but different. She can't fall for my tricks because I can't manipulate her mind. Everything she says to me is genuine. I can't help but want her to want me. Is that wrong?"

"She is a human, nothing she says is genuine. Have you forgotten what we are?" Yeosang pulls Wooyoung closer as he steps over a fallen trunk. It's not too old – it may be no more than a few days since its demise. He places his palm against the trunk, whispering a spell before turning back to him. "Unseelie aren't kind to humans. And she will find out that you were the one who killed her lover, Woo. I doubt she'll take that well."

"I'm not going to tell her that," Wooyoung waves him off. "Besides, the male was so boring. She'll be much more entertained by our spark."

Yeosang holds up a hand, stopping him from speaking. Leaves crunch in the distance, Yeosang whispering a spell unto his free hand and pulling Wooyoung closer. He holds his breath, watching as the faeries appear in the small meadow. The spell he has cast only lasts for a few minutes or so. He can only hope that neither of them linger. The Seelie stay close to each other, rapid words exchanged.

"The human is resistant to faeries? How can that be?"

Neither of them speak, but Yeosang can feel how Wooyoung's shoulder tenses at the words.

"Yeonjun told us. He tried to penetrate her mind but she did not blink. Not one human on this Earth could stop him from entering their mind. She is the sole being."

"Then did he take her?"

"Not yet, not until he catches them off guard. Tonight he set the example, though. I doubt the Unseelie will be able to fight back after that mess. Bodies are everywhere."

Wooyoung’s eyes widen. He presses his hand against his mouth, closing his eyes to control his anger. His body trembles beneath the low light. Hongjoong instructed them that it was a brief mission, no bloodshed. But would he have guessed that the Seelie would cause their own to be deceased? Yeosang's hand grabs the side of Wooyoung's face, forcing him to look. Yeosang merely shakes his head, mouthing words.

Do not lose yourself.

Wooyoung nods slowly, taking slow breaths. They've missed a bit of the conversation.

"He will get her? That is his goal?"

"His goal is to hurt Hongjoong. Nothing else matters besides that. The human is just another body is his way."

They disappear from sight. Just as they do, the Unseelie bodies shimmer, appearing back in focus of onlookers. Wooyoung falls to the grass, fingers digging into the dirt. "They plan to kill my sunlight. My solaris. They will rid of her and we aren't there to see what they've done. We have to go back. We have to –"

"We aren't done, Wooyoung," Yeosang shakes his head. "Just a few more days. Hold on for a few more days."

"They've killed faeries, Yeosang. What if they killed one of our spark? What if Yunho–"

"You know they haven’t. Don't let yourself fall down that hole. We already have enough unstable mates, I don't need another one to fall apart right in front of me. Don't delude yourself like this," Yeosang ignores his words, sighing. "You would have felt it, Wooyoung. We are bonded. We would have felt the tear."

Wooyoung takes a long breath, "You're right. I need to calm down."

There's a pause as he stares. For a moment, he thinks that they should go back. For his peace of mind. Instead, he moves forward, hand reaching back. Without a moment's pause Wooyoung’s fingers slip into his, letting Yeosang guide him through.

—

Seonghwa wipes the floor. The stench is always overpowering. Each time a Seelie dies they leave behind such a putrid smell. A bit funny, considering how pure they are meant to be. He reaches for the knife you dropped, pausing. The look you gave them. It was like it was not you at all. He has grown used to the annoyance you've shown them, the fear when their words turned sharp. But not that kind of fear, terror. The glazed look. As if you didn't know who you are, what you were doing. It eerily reminded him of how Yunho loses himself sometimes. Seonghwa picks up the weapon, whispering. It cleanses itself at his words, harshly throwing itself back into its spot. Hopefully for good.

Jongho helped you off the floor, nearly carrying you to the room because you were so out of it. Hongjoong stared as you stepped out of the room, an unreadable expression on his face. There was nothing to be done then. Nothing they could speak about when you couldn't even think clearly. But Seonghwa just didn't like the look on his mate's face. Didn't like the slight gleam in his eye. In that moment, looking back now, he wonders if asking Hongjoong what he was thinking would change anything that’s soon to come.

He stands, flicking his hand to let the cleaning supplies pick up the rest. He sits at his table, eyeing the book he was reading once before. Seonghwa considered that you weren't a human. But he pushed those thoughts away. Assumed that he was thinking too far ahead. But now, seeing how you killed a Seelie? A human, killing a Seelie without any help? There's no possible way you're just a human.

He just has to figure out what you are exactly.

"You've been locked in here for hours."

Seonghwa barely gives Mingi a glance as he enters with hands tucked in his pockets, knowing the Unseelie would only try to calm him down. Or get angry with him, it depends on the day. "Hiding from us won't make our minds calm."

"I'm trying to figure out what's going on. Having you all speaking over each other in confusion and anger will only taint my thoughts."

"You used to find comfort in the chaos. It looks like you avoid it now. And continuously buy those toys of yours."

"You didn't have a problem with my figurines before," Seonghwa frowns.

"And I still don't now. I just can’t help but wonder why we can't be that safe place for you instead of plastic."

Seonghwa looks up from his book, finally meeting the eyes of his mate. Dried blood coats his face and clothing, white splatters burned into the fabric. He can see how his body trembles, bottom lip pulled back between his teeth. His chest tightens at the sight. Mingi lets their combined emotions affect him often. No matter how much they all insisted that he let them deal with it on their own.

Seonghwa closes his book. "You're upset."

"I want us, all of us, to be okay. But it seems like danger follows us no matter which path we take."

He sighs. "If you want us to get rid of her we will."

"I don't want that, hyung."

"Then what? What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to talk to us. Tell us how you're feeling. Stop hiding in the laboratory or library or the forest. At least try to let us in. Do you know how long it took me to calm Yunho down? I don't even think I have, he just stressed himself out to the point of exhaustion. I'm –" Mingi runs his bloodstained fingers through his hair. "I'm stuck. And I'm tired of pretending I'm okay with it all. I listen to Hongjoong's words even though I question them. I guard what you all want me to guard. I kill who you want me to kill. But I just can't stand around and accept it anymore. How long must I pretend to believe that everything is okay?"

Seonghwa watches Mingi's facade break, his rambling continuing on and on. He cannot believe he didn't notice how much it affected him. Sure, he was thoroughly involved with you, but that's no excuse to not see when one of his mates is falling into themselves. He covers his face with his hands, not bothering to wipe the blood off.

"Yunho is so lost, Seonghwa. I've seen him gone, but not like this. Not this much."

"I can talk to him," Seonghwa says softly. "You can be there too. And any of the others. Would you like that from me?"

“Yes,” Mingi murmurs. There seems to be something else in his voice. Mingi isn’t one to hide his feelings, so it comes as a shock that this is even a conversation at all. So Seonghwa continues to dig.

“And I’ll figure out how to persuade Hongjoong to take a more careful route. How about that?”

Relief seeps into Mingi’s face, nodding slowly. “I would like that.”

“Everything will be fine, Mingi. We just have to take it all one step at a time,” Seonghwa says softly. “If you’re ever bothered, I’m here. We all are.”

Mingi continues to nod, thinking. “And the human? What if we have to kill her?”

Seonghwa looks at him, unable to answer that question. Despite it being mere months since knowing of your existence, he can’t justify killing you now. Not when he is so involved with you, along with the others. Mingi seems to know the answer without Seonghwa saying anything at all. So he sits beside him, watching his mate continue to flip through the endless amount of research he has done.

After a couple of minutes, Seonghwa closes his research. Mingi watches him curiously, a box appearing on the table instead. A bit cheeky, Seonghwa places several smaller boxes of toys in front of him. Mingi picks up one, a photo of an assortment of plastic flowers branded to the side.

"I planned on gifting these to you all after I build them, but I think it'll be more fun to build together with you, don't you think?"

Mingi looks at him. He never really shares his hobby with anyone else in the spark, maybe San once in a while. Him opening up and allowing Mingi to intercept his time only makes his heart swell with glee. Mingi nods, sitting down at the table.

"It'll be fun," Seonghwa grins, slipping next to him.

—

The silence is draining.

You sit in the middle of the bed, knees tucked against your chest, head sitting on top. Mind utterly blank as you’re desperately trying to figure out why, how. What strength do you have to just murder a Seelie without help from one of the others?

You can remember the looks on their faces when they entered. Blood stinging your eyes, knife barely held between your fingers. The indiscernible face of the Seelie beneath the weapon. It didn’t look like one at all, not even a creature. Just a pile of parts. You try pushing those thoughts away, even if the image is burned in your mind each time you blink.

“Do you take us for fools?”

You barely give him any indication that you heard him at all.

“Now you pretend not to hear my words?”

“I’ve done nothing to you at all so I’m not sure why you’re even speaking to me,” you admit, glancing at him from the corner of your eye. His arms against his chest seem to cement themselves in place at your words. Him being furious with you is on the absolute bottom of your list. You haven’t even properly introduced yourself and he’s already pegged you for someone he can walk over. You’ve already been through it with Mingi. You’d rather not deal with it again.

“Your presence is threatening our position.”

“If you let me go none of this would have even happened. How is it my fault?” You frown.

San scoffs. “What a nuisance.”

“Look,” you finally turn your head, meeting the eyes of the angry Unseelie. “You can hate me all you want, but I didn’t choose to be here. Go and get pissed off with someone else for all I care, but not me. I’d rather be at home than dealing with all of you.”

“You would be home by now, but it is unsafe. I could care less, frankly. But the others do.”

“Better than dealing with a room full of strange people,” you murmur.

“It is crawling with faeries, human. If you even step near it, you will be killed. Leaving our premises might as well be a death sentence. But fine, go ahead. I doubt you won't last more than a minute outside of our borders," he turns around, giving you his back.

You don't dare test his harsh words. There's no way to prove that he's exaggerating or not, so you just settle it for yourself that it must be true. You can't help the thoughts that linger; Is Soobin okay? Would they attack him if he decided to show up at your house one day? Has he entered town at all? Have your parents tried to contact you? Why hasn't anyone noticed you're gone? There's no reason to ask San because he would just give half truths. Something you're very much used to.

You hold your fingers against your temple, humming softly. It's not enough that you're staying here. You'll only be ridiculed by one of them. Frankly, you miss Wooyoung being around. At least he was a comfort in between the angst. And what was his name… Jongho? Though your interaction was brief, he was kind to you. Calmed you down in the slightest bit. His words of comfort as he led you to this room helped.

"Do you know what you did to that thing? Why I'm standing here now? Do you even realize what it takes to take down a Seelie, human?"

"No, I don't. And my name is y/n, not human."

San stares at you. You weren't afraid of him since you've met him, but there is something in that look. Something that makes you tense. You truly doubt he would kill you at mere words. But he could kill you if he wanted to. That thought is enough for you to drop your attitude, at least for now.

"Taking down a Seelie requires strength unlike humans. Majik, unwavering strength. Mental fortitude. You have to know how to kill one, our flesh isn't as soft as a human's. We haven't been killed by one in centuries. So can you see why we're cautious of you?"

"I do," you sigh. "I do, but I don't even know how I did it? It's… there's nothing there. Nothing. When I try to think of it it's like it didn't even happen. I just remember entering the room, then Seonghwa came in and opened the door. And I had a knife in my hand. That's it."

"Why did you say what you said?" San asks.

"Say what?"

"You held the knife in your hand, you looked at Jongho. Then you said you didn't mean to. You looked terrified despite the situation. As if you didn't just kill one of the deadliest beings on this planet."

"I don't know."

"You have to know."

"San, I don't know."

Just as San steps forward your bedroom door opens. Expecting someone else, maybe Wooyoung, Mingi stands there. His eyes flick between yours and San, narrowing slightly. He nudges to the door as he looks at him. San's arms drop from his chest. He seems a bit hesitant. Mingi gestures toward the door again.

"I don't want you to be alone here with her," San murmurs.

"She won't hurt me."

It's as if you're not there at all. San continues to resist, until Mingi rests his hand on his arm. It's enough for San to nod slowly. He squeezes his arm, leaving the room. Mingi shuts the door behind him as he leaves, turning to you.

"Sleep."

"Sleep?" You repeat, and he nods.

"Sleep. We have a long day tomorrow. Yeosang and Wooyoung won't be back for days. But when they do come back, they'll have news. And we'll need to be prepared for that."

"I don't understand."

"Human," Mingi says sharply. "I get it, you're incompetent and unintelligent. But you do understand the language I'm speaking, no? You haven't the slightest idea what you have done? Did San not explain the danger to you? You killed Beomgyu, y/n."

Another name that continues to mean nothing to you. Mingi's frustration grows.

"He is a high Seelie. One of the most powerful faeries on this Earth. And you killed him. Now sleep. We must prepare you for what is to come."

He leaves.

—

You stare at your hands. A few cuts are slowly healing, scabs covering the wounds. None of them have mentioned the night. Not even San, as angry as he seems to be watching you roam around their home. Hongjoong hasn't been seen by you either. Very likely locked in that laboratory of his, experiments continuing. Mingi and perhaps Jongho, are the only two who've either greeted you or joined you in rooms. Yunho, despite how worried you are, hasn't showed up since that night. Mentioning it to Mingi wasn't the greatest idea – the painful look in his eyes made you switch the subject immediately – but you just want to know if he's okay. You saw that Seelie drag him away and there was little you could do. You ran, and he could have been killed. The least you can offer is an apology. Guilt ridden, you look up from your hands.

Mingi holds out the wooden sword to you for the nth time today. With great exhaustion, you take it from his hands. He scoffs. "You will be given a break if you knock it from my hands, human. It shouldn't be this difficult."

You hold back your frustration. "My leg is still messed up. You're taller and faster than me. How could I –"

"Use your size as an advantage. I've told you this endlessly."

"You haven't given me an opening!" Your voice rises, dropping when you see the quirk of his brow. "I just need an opening," you murmur.

"Fighting a Seelie who's trained since birth to kill won't allow for an opening. You have to defend and attack. Each time I raise my sword you freeze. You will die if none of us are around."

"I survived before."

"And you have yet to understand why or how it happened. You're at a loss just like the rest of us. Don't be foolish. Fight, because your life will depend on it."

You step back from him, planting your feet into the grass. Mingi holds no weapons in his hands. Just as you still forward Mingi flicks his fingers. Your body hits the ground again, and this time you don't bother trying to get up, groaning. "You're an ass, by the way. Didn't you all say those powers don't work on me? How can you just throw me to the ground?"

"Our influence does not work on your mind, y/n. But we can still move you. You just have to learn how to resist just like your mind has. Once you master that, we can move to true combat."

"I don't know why you can't mess with my mind!"

"Another reason why you have to stop using your pity as an excuse and help yourself. Stand and try again," he holds out his hand.

"She will be dead from exhaustion before she has even learned it," the snarky tone is one you wish you'd never hear again. Mingi stands up straighter, hands moving behind his back. He bows only slightly at the newcomer. "We have to move quickly. It is only a matter of time until one of them decides to penetrate our majik. Do you not agree?"

"I do," Mingi says simply. "But I thought you were with Yunho today."

"Jongho is tending to his care now. I've come to watch you train. By the looks of it, it only seems like torture."

You slowly lift yourself from the ground, dusting off your clothing. Mingi does not bother helping you up and neither does Hongjoong. Your legs shake as you stand, turning to Hongjoong. He rests against a fallen tree. Arms crossed, same mischievous twinkle in his eye. His gaze roams over your body, stopping when he sees the disgusted look on your face.

"What a weak, little thing. Too bad we can't just get rid of you." His fingers pull back his hair. The exhaustion riddled on his face does not move past you. All of them seem tired and drained from what's been happening. Yourself as well, body aching and limbs throbbing from your brief encounter with the Seelie you've killed. Killed.

You'd never in your life peg yourself as a murderer. And yet here you are. Gathered around many of them, yourself included. At this point you have no right to judge.

"I've already said what I needed to to you," you murmur, turning back to Mingi. "Again." You step forward and he lifts his hand again. This time you fall forward, his arm stopping you from hitting the ground head first. You push it away, straightening yourself. "Fuck this."

"You have to train–"

"I can barely walk straight and all we're going now is creating more and more bruises. What are we achieving? How have I gained anything in the past few hours?"

Mingi's brow twitches. "You haven't tried."

"I don't know if you remember but, I am a human. I can't just learn to be as strong as you by being battered over and over. I won't suddenly be able to fight against you."

Your frustration grows as you look at Mingi, a blank gaze watching you back. It's like he can't even hear what you're saying, no matter how you phrase it. Hongjoong clears his throat, distracting you.

"She's right, you know. I want you to train her. Not mangle her up to the point of her being unrecognizable." He glances at you. "y/n, do you not remember the night at all? Not a sliver of memory? It would make this all easier if you did."

"No, I don't," you say firmly. "If I did, I wouldn't let myself be thrown to the ground over and over again."

Hongjoong shrugs, "Then that settles it all, no? Mingi, change. We will be dining together shortly. Human, you do the same. Seonghwa will see you after this."

"What for –"

Hongjoong disappears from existence entirely, leaving Mingi and you alone. He steps around you, grabbing the wooden swords scattered about on the ground and placing it back in its holder. Just as he goes to leave, he turns back. "You don't seem to understand the situation we are under because of you. I've advocated for your death but everyone wants to keep you around because of your resistance to us. I hope sometime soon you find yourself useful, or I'll be the one to end your life."

There is no chance for you to twist his words, nothing that would make you believe anything other than what he's said to you. He speaks firmly and straight to the point. Very unlikely the rest of the Unseelie you've met. There's no room for interpretation. You nod, and he leaves you alone in the training field.

Ignoring the throbbing in your legs, you make your way back to the house. Despite how open it is, it’s only a facade - you’re not sure if you’ll ever be able to leave. And now, knowing how much danger you’re in, you doubt you even want to.

Jongho appears through a doorway, holding a book in his hand. His gaze meets yours, flicking over you. “Are you okay?” He glances down at your leg. “Not much time has passed since you were all mangled.”

You snort, “As good as I can be.”

He joins you promptly, the two of you walking down the hall. It’s funny - his presence feels more welcoming than the others. Softer eyes, smaller smile. Nervous maybe, but still. You’d describe it as comforting.

“What are you reading?” You ask. He looks down at the book.

“San gave this to me. It’s about faeries from human tales. It’s quite interesting. Tinkling bells is my favorite,” he adds, “Ever heard of her? Apparently she’s really famous.”

“Tinker bell?” You correct, and he sighs.

“Right, Tinker bell.”

“Yes I have,” you grin, and he nods. “Why’d he give that to you? He seems like he hates humans, doesn’t seem like the type to want to learn about us. From what I’ve seen,” you add. “He avoids me every chance he gets.”

“San is…” Jongho pauses for a moment. “He protects us fiercely, yes. He hates you now because he thinks you’re a threat. But once Seonghwa figures out why you’re the way you are, things will change. It’s silly, you're slowly falling into our hearts, so he will protect you as he protects us sooner rather than later. And he enjoys human entertainment a lot. I'm sure once he gets over himself you two would get along well.” His words are easily said.

Falling into their hearts?

“You care for me? Some of you do?” you stop walking. Jongho freezes, grip on his book tightening.

“I’ve said too much,” he says quickly. “They will be angry with me,” he sighs, looking down the hall. Seemingly making the decision on his own, he turns back to you. “Yes we do care for you, y/n. Why do you think we fiercely protect you? It is not only because we’re curious about your nature. We’ve known you for a while now. Even if all of us haven’t really officially met you. We are bonded. Our care lives within us all. Mostly Wooyoung’s fault,” he scowls. “He’s stuck on you.”

“That is the spark thing Yunho mentioned to me, right? It's like a pack.”

Jongho nods, “Yes. Once we’ve chosen to be in our spark, we are glued to each other. If one of us is hurt we all know, if one of us feels strongly about something, we all feel it. So that’s why it’s so easy for us to find your presence in our lives… normal? Ordinary? I’m not really great at human words.”

“No no,” you wave off his last sentence. “You speaking to me like this is enough. And you’re very eloquent, Jongho. No need to doubt.”

His lip quirks slightly. “I can see why they’ve grown fond of you. But yes, that’s why. Ah, but more importantly,” he digs into his pocket. A rock appears in his hand, similar to one Yunho gave you at the masquerade. “Yunho asked me to place a spell on this. To monitor your health, nothing more.” He says quickly. “I cannot lie.”

“...Thanks,” you take it, staring down at the surface. “Is Yunho okay?”

He bites his lip, “He’s recovering. But it’s best if you stay away until he’s fully himself. That’s what he asked us to do. I’m sorry I can’t say anything more.”

“You’ve said what you’ve needed to, Jongho. Thank you. I’ll see you at dinner?”

He bows slightly, walking past you and out of sight. You hold the rock tightly, making your way back to your room.

—

Seonghwa doesn't come to lead you to his lab for a few weeks and that you're grateful for. Rarely have you gotten the chance to be alone. Dinner that night was uncomfortable to say the least. Silence mostly. Three seats empty. Jongho gave you small smiles and it was enough to help you get through it. But still - the future of you dealing with them watching you with caution is not one you’re yearning for.

The door to your room swings open, almost cracking against the wall. Before you can even turn to see who it is, your breath is knocked out of you. You hit the floor, well almost, he holds you up with his hand before you land. Wooyoung almost squeezes the life out of you as he holds you close, body trembling.

“You’re okay,” He whispers into your shoulder. You grip his sleeve to pull him off, and he leans back, eyes flicking over your face. “You’re okay?”

“Yes, I’m fine. You can let me go,” you tug on him again and this time he does, helping you off the floor. Your body throbs at how he threw himself at you, bruises from whatever happened with that Seelie that night throbbing. “I see that you’re back.”

He grins, “Of course! I’ll always come back for you. I had to see Hongjoong first to report,” he rolls his eyes. “He told me to stay away from you since we don’t know what you are, but how could I leave my solaris alone?” he tilts his head, taking a small step toward you. Without thinking, you move back.

He frowns, “Solaris?”

“I’d rather be left alone, Wooyoung.”

He scoffs, brows furrowed. “What do you mean? Ah, is it because of what happened a few weeks ago? You don't need to worry, I know you won’t hurt me.”

“That’s not what I’m worried about,” you murmur.

“What are you saying? Don’t you know that I won’t hurt you?” It’s different from when you first met him. The snide grin, the teasing gaze. All replaced with seriousness, perhaps a bit of worry.

Are you sure of that? You know what they are, what they may or may not have done. None of them have even told you how they feed, how they hunt for their next meal. You could tell whenever they eat in front of you. The reluctance to take bites, the side glances they gave one another. You can fairly easily presume that it’s through horrid means. You’ve seen enough blood splattered around to be sure of that, at least. But will they hurt you?

Will he hurt you?

The silence must have been filling up the room too long, Wooyoung’s face dropping as he waits for your response. Would saying no be lying? It seems like each time you do lie he immediately knows. So, despite the hopeful look in his gaze, you tell him the truth.

“I don’t know that,” you whisper.

His body physically deflates, hands clenching and unclenching at your words. “You’re not lying.” It’s a statement, not a question. He closes his eyes for a moment, a breath escaping him. “I won’t hurt you, solaris. I won’t. Just as I trust that you won’t hurt me.”

His words ring as true as he means them to be, but yet… you can’t bring yourself to believe them. No matter how much you know that Unseelie cannot lie. “Okay,” you say.

“Why are you treating my words as if I’m lying?”

“Unseelie are sly.”

His eyes narrow. “I’m not lying about never hurting you, y/n. That’s not something I’d skirt around. I. Won’t. Hurt. You.”

“You say that,” you start, glancing at the open doorway. It would be silly of you to believe that you’re truly alone. All of these men you’ve met so far eavesdrop on every conversation in their home. “You say that, but if Hongjoong or Seonghwa told you to hurt me you would do it. Even if you don’t want to.”

“They wouldn’t ask–“

“But you don’t know that for sure, do you? You believe it now, but tomorrow, they could change their mind about me. What if San didn’t like my presence around here anymore? What if Yunho told you my time was up? Would you defy their words and save me? Would you?”

He stares at his hands, saying nothing.

"What if I hurt one of you like I did to that Seelie? Would you just stand by?"

"Don't say idiotic things."

"Then stop lying to yourself, Wooyoung. You do not care for me like them and you never will. Stop trying to force yourself to like me because I'm different. I don't like you, okay? I don't. So stop prying, and stop making yourself believe that there is something here when there's not."

Wooyoung stands up, shaking his head, "How could you lie?"

"For fucks sake–"

Wooyoung steps closer to you, your body sinking further into the seat. He places his hands on either side of your shoulders, eyes darkening. "You lie so easily. Why? Why do you do it?" His fingers slowly tighten. It's not enough to bruise you or hurt you, but it feels uncomfortable. If seconds continue to pass, he could just as easily break a bone.

"Let me go."

"You think we are mad? You think I am mad for caring about you? Do you have any sense yourself?"

"Let go, Wooyoung. You'll bruise her if you continue."

You look over, Mingi leaning against the doorframe. His expression is still as always, though now it rests on Wooyoung's grip. He seems to push through his thoughts, hands gone from your body. You stand up and move farther away. Closer to the entrance of the balcony. Wooyoung stares down at his hands, body trembling.

"Sorry," his tone is tight, looking up. "I got carried away."

“Hongjoong told you to stay away.”

He glances away, “I know.”

“And yet here you stand.”

Wooyoung looks at him, “Mingi –”

“Go. Before you make this worse for yourself. I won’t ask again.”

Wooyoung’s shoulders fall. He turns to see your expression but you’ve already given him your back, leaving to stand on the porch. Whatever commotion is happening behind you you’d rather avoid. Your heart hurts too much. He isn’t lying, you care for him. And you hate that you do. They’re Unseelie, beings that took you from your home because of curiosity. How could you care for them? How could you miss Wooyoung? The cool breeze hits your cheek as you slide open the door, sitting on the small stool resting against the wall. The night is clearer now that he’s back. You hate even more how the solid rock of worry in your chest is subdued since you’ve seen him. He was so close to hurting you, barely seconds away.

So why the Hell do you want to tell him it’s okay?

“He lets his emotions get the best of him,” the deep voice of Mingi fills the silence. He leans against the doorway, staring out into the night. “That’s why Hongjoong told him to stay away for a while. Though I doubt it would help that much, his excitement to see you would have only grown.”

“He cares too much about someone he doesn’t know,” you say.

“That I agree with,” Mingi nods, humming. “But you should be saying the same to yourself.”

“I don’t.”

“Human, we are Unseelie. We’ve witnessed your kind lying for centuries. I can read that expression of yours with ease,” he glances down at you. “I’m not hovering around you to pass the time. Since Yunho cannot do it right now, I’m here to watch you. Just say my name and I’ll be here. Though it is my fault right now that I didn’t come when I heard about Wooyoung and Yeosang walking around.” He rubs his face, “What a headache.”

“Thanks,” you say, looking back at the landscape. The moon is hiding tonight. “He didn’t want to listen to me.”

“Because he’s delusional,” he snickers. “Not wrong entirely, but trying to force the answer from you is very… silly. You’re welcome.”

He says nothing else and neither do you. The fear of him being around has subdued, whether it be from him getting used to your presence or not, you’re grateful. Walking on your toes is exhausting enough as it is. From the first training session to now, the two of you have grown closer. Laughs exchanged, quieter moments. None uncomfortable. Enough so that you would consider him a friend, along with Jongho. Despite this, you can't help but let your thoughts wander. It's been so long since you've seen people you actually know. One in particular that you hate you cannot get out of your head. You already have things to deal with on your own.

“You look like you have a lot on your mind,” he starts, closing the door behind him. He rests on the chair adjacent to yours, sitting down slowly. Ah, so he plans on staying around for a while. “Letting that weight continue will only break you in the end.”

You shrug, “It’s nothing.”

“If it was nothing you wouldn’t look so uncomfortable right now. It’s fine, I’d rather not push,” MIngi says. “But I know from experience that keeping it to yourself is not good. I may not be as comforting as Yunho or Jongho, but I’m a good listener.”

Is he? His kindness doesn’t feel fake. Still, you’re wary of his motives. After a couple more minutes of saying nothing, you push past your fear.

"I don't want to hurt anymore," you stare at your hands, watching as they tremble beneath your gaze. "I'm so tired of hurting so much, I'm tired of caring so much. He left me. He promised he wouldn't and he did. He left me, Mingi. He…" Your fists curled into themselves. "And the more I think about it the more pathetic I sound. I've been through that moment over and over again, trying to figure out what I've done, what I didn't see. But I was faithful to him, I did everything for us. I wasn't selfish. I loved him with everything that I have. And he still left me alone. Just like everyone else does. And I can't even ask him why he did it because he just left. He's gone."

A slow breath drags from between your lips. "And here I am, talking to an Unseelie about it. You probably think I'm pathetic or –"

"You keep using that word," Mingi narrows his eyes, thinking. "Pathetic. Like it's pathetic to feel emotions strongly. You know that you're allowed to feel, right?" He leans over, covering your outstretched hands with his. He’s warm. "I can't calm down your heart or tell you it will be okay, because I am just an Unseelie. We don't give empty promises. But what I can say is that you're not pathetic. His absence hurts. And you're allowed to be hurt. But you are not pathetic, y/n. Do you understand?"

There is some hesitance. Slowly, he reaches out, hand hovering over your cheek. He places it, flattening it against your skin. You warily lean into his palm. "You are not pathetic, okay?"

Eyes closed, you nod. "... Okay."

"You don't believe your words," Mingi frowns.

"Saying it and believing it are two different things."

“I told you to not lie when I can tell,” he says sharply. There’s no malice in it, frustration perhaps. But not anger. He pulls his hand away from you, standing. “Get some sleep. We’ll start again tomorrow.”

He leaves you alone on the porch. You tuck your knees close, the breeze chilly against your skin. You don’t realize it yourself, but that brief moment with him turned things for you. For some very strange reason, your thoughts no longer rested on your ex. Instead, they lingered on them. On everything that's happened since you've arrived.

They lingered on Mingi.

—

Seonghwa still hasn’t taken you back into his lab. You sit in the living room on a loveseat, eyes glued to the rest of the Unseelie. Most are here except Yunho and Seonghwa, speaking to each other about various things. San and Yeosang entwined on the seat across from you. His arm wrapped around the waist of Yeosang, words soft and quick. Almost too intimate for you to look at longer than a couple of seconds. Jongho flipping through pages of another book he has, likely given to him by San. Mingi beside him, eating an apple as he stares at nothing.

And then there’s the last two.

The feeling is subtle, at first. Hongjoong and Wooyoung laugh together. Hands roaming along each other's arms, legs entangled as they show each other the potions they have created. Annoyed glances filled with fondness. It is something that you've lost since Soobin left. Affection, especially around others, was never something he quite enjoyed. Sure, holding hands or embracing for a moment. But never this – effortless care. Whether it be from embarrassment of townsfolk noticing the two of you, or uncomfort. But watching them as an outsider just makes the feeling rise, chest throbbing. Ah, now you understand the feeling.

Envy.

"Hold this," You jump. Mingi touches your own hand with his fingers, dragging yours open to place a gray stone on your palm. "It will help that heart of yours."

Your hand closes around it, brows furrowed. "Is there something wrong?"

"You tell me. I could hear it from across the room. Thumping away."

“Thanks.”

He merely nods.

“y/n,” Jongho calls from the other side of the room. Pauses in conversation stop for a moment as he walks over, book held out to you. You take it from his hands, glancing over the words. You quickly recognize it as the Giving Tree, a novel read to you when you were a child. Jongho looked furious as he stood above you, frown only deepening. “It can’t just be a stump at the end.”

“Isn't it devastating?” San says from his spot. “I knew it'd bother you.”

Jongho turns to look at San, a scowl crossing his lips. “I wanted an entertaining tale. You gave me a book about a selfish human child.”

San shrugs, “Maybe it would finally let you let me borrow some of your things –”

“Absolutely not,” Jongho sighs. “You see what he does? He's just a nuisance.”

“Well it's one of my favorite stories,” you say, flipping through the pages. “Unconditional love with a price; hoping that it's returned but it never really is.”

“A silly story,” Mingi murmurs, but he takes the book from your hand, humming as he walks away, Jongho following close behind him. You could hear his low voice grumbling something about his book being taken away. Your eyes look over to Yeosang and San. This time, San stares at you. There isn't exactly any anger in it now, but an emotion you can't pin. It's unlike anything you've ever seen from him.

“They always bicker,” Wooyoung says, glancing back. “Don't worry too much about it solaris, a little fight won't hurt them.”

Well you aren't exactly worried about it. You don't bother responding to him, sinking yourself deeper into the couch.

“y/n.”

His smooth voice speaks through the air. Avoiding his gaze would only cause his irritation to grow, so you look at him. He holds a knife in his hand, peeling off the skin of an apple. He looks at you as he does so, taking a small bite.

“You're allowed to go.”

Everyone in the room looks at Hongjoong. The expressions range from shocked to confused. Hongjoong ignores them entirely, taking another bite. “After Yeosang and Wooyoung completed their assignment, the threat was subdued. Of course, you could have left weeks ago. All of us just needed to be sure it was safe. We put a spell around your home. No Seelie would be able to enter. No faerie can visit you aside from us. I thought you'd like to know that you can leave at any time. We would need you from time to time, but now, there's no immediate threat. And even if there were, you'd be able to take care of it better now.”

Yeosang leans up from his spot, “Hyung–”

Hongjoong holds up his hand. “Any further discussion can be done privately. y/n, leave when you'd like. None of us will stop you. And if they try,” he looks at Wooyoung as he says his next words. “They will be dealt with.”

“This isn't a joke?” You ask, slowly standing from your spot. The thought of finally being in your own home, your own place – you didn't realize how much you've missed it until this very moment. Hongjoong nods, and you would hug him if he weren't Hongjoong. Instead, you leave the room promptly. They all watch you go, presumably to your room to grab your things.

Wooyoung shakes his head, “Hongjoong, our mission wasn't successful. We did nothing to deter the Seelies. They'll come for her when they see we're not around.”

“You think I don't know that?” Hongjoong frowns, chewing slowly. “Seonghwa hasn't made any progress and Yunho cannot do experiments right now. We have no use for her other than entertainment. And wouldn't you rather our home be free of humans? Or has she hooked herself so deeply into your body you can't live without?”

“I want her,” Wooyoung whispers. “Why would you send her away?”

“She doesn't love you,” Hongjoong snorts. “It'll be a pity if you continue to delude yourself.”

“A bit harsh, hyung,” Yeosang says, moving out of Sans embrace. “If you spoke to us prior he might have been able to prepare and take the news well. Instead–”

“You know my thoughts. She was never going to stay forever. You all know this.” He passes his half eaten apple to Wooyoung, stepping around him. “I must inform Seonghwa. Discuss amongst yourselves, but it is done. She will be gone.” He waves, tucking his hand in his pockets.

Yeosang wastes no time in moving close to his partner. He can see his body begin to crumble, irises trembling at the news. His arms wrap about his mates, whispering quiet words to him.

“She's leaving, Yeo,” Wooyoung grips his shirt.

“She's leaving me again.”

—

You shove your clothing into your bag, quickly trying to pack up enough. Hoping that Hongjoong doesn't change hid mind about this. All you've known for a few months now is this mansion, this home that is and never will be yours. Being free, cord snapped, feels so … exhilarating. Never have you felt so much enjoyment to go back to that silly little down and the old bookstore. Resting on your hard mattress – ecstacy.

The bitter feeling burns your throat. Leaving them behind after knowing them for a while. Your heart hurts, to say the least. Though you kept your eyes on Hongjoong’s face as he told you the news, it wasn't only to digest it. It was to keep yourself steady, keep your thoughts solid. If your gaze ever wavered, looked over at one of the others – you would have thought twice. And if you let these thoughts stay for a while longer, you would have stayed. And that realization is enough for you to run out of here without looking back. No goodbyes. No greetings. Nothing that would make your feelings pause.

No one is in the hallways as you walk through, bag tucked beneath your arm. You step outside, rain splattering against your cheeks. As if the forest is mourning your departure. You hold your jacket above your head as you walk down the path. The feelings are too much for you to try and decipher right now.

You were in a loving relationship that ended and Soobin disappeared, leaving just a note behind. Whatever feeling that's dwelling within you right now is not what you think. You're just heartbroken, and lonely. And they're here.

It's nothing more than that.

The rain spills over the sides of the jacket, splashing against your skin. You flinch as it enters your eyes, strands of your hair sticking to your face. Just a few more steps, a few more and you'll be out of here. You won't have to see them again. You'd be free of faeries. You'd finally let go of these strange feelings.

"Won't you let me take you home?" A shimmering cloud rises from the darkness. Wooyoung conjures up in front of you, arms crossed against his chest. You stop on the path, a sigh escaping your lips.

"The bus is fine."

"Waiting for it in the downpour? What if it's late?"

You maneuver around him, frowning, "Then I'll walk."

"You live ten kilometers from our home." His footsteps follow close behind you. "And it would be safer to be with us."

"I need to get in a workout, anyway."

“You can wait a while.”

“Wooyoung,” you step over a pile of rocks. “Hongjoong told me I can go. Stop trying to stop me from leaving. This is my choice.”

“I'm not trying to stop you, solaris. I know this is your decision. But I can't help but wonder. Is it because of that estranged boyfriend of yours?" He asks, appearing in front of you again. "Is that why you're hesitant to stay over longer? Worried you're committing adultery?"

"He left me," you say through your teeth. "He has no hold over me. And I wouldn't be committing adultery since we were never married."

"Then why are you afraid of your emotions?" He tilts his head, pouting. "You care and yet you run. Everyday you spend with us you pretend to not care for us. Is that just something humans do? Run from the emotions they feel?"

"I don't have time for this Wooyoung."

Wooyoung steps closer, your foot stumbling over the saturated grass. He catches you with ease, arm hooking around your torso, pulling you close to his chest. His face is barely a breath away from you. Just as you're about to tell him you're fine, his grip tightens.

"How long will we have to wait?" His tone is soft. "For your shame of loving Unseelies to fade away?"

"I don't –"

He hums, shaking his head, "Ah ah. Don't you remember? I can't lie." He leans forward, lips hovering just over yours. "I hope we can stop playing pretend one day, my pretty solaris. I hope you can see how easily we shine together. Because I am very much drowning in my affection for you and desperately clawing for a reprieve that only your confession can grant. It is a bit pathetic," He steadies you, face pulling away from yours. The warmth of your body consumes you from his touch. If he notices it he does not mention it. He bows.

"You better catch your bus or else I'll truly have to keep you to myself," his lip lifts, gesturing in front of you. He dissipates into the night, your hurried steps running out the forest and onto the bus. There are very few others on it as it drives off, your eyes flicking out the window. For a moment you think you see the shimmer of gold between the trees.

-

“I told her you would come for her. And now that she’s gone, we’re delayed on our experimentation.”

“I said I couldn’t do anything right now without Yunho,” Seonghwa explains simply, flipping through his pages. “I’ve told you this countlessly but you chose not to listen. And you decided to let her go, not I.”

“The humans were noticing her disappearance along with her old mate,” Hongjoong pauses. “It would have brought us great exhaustion if they continued questioning what happened. I had to let her go for now.”

“Then there’s that, are we done with this conversation?” Seonghwa glances up from his research, looking across to Hongjoong. He sits on the seat that you used to occupy whenever you entered the laboratory, fingers dragging along the armrest. Somehow the action annoyed him, brow furrowing. “Hongjoong?”

“We haven’t seen you join us for dinners.”

“I’ve been occupied.”

“Occupied enough to not show your face?” He tilts his head. “I’m sure she desired your presence as well, but you’ve hidden yourself in here. What could be the reason why?”

He’s prying. Seonghwa sees it, knows he’s itching for him to tell the truth. Having a back and forth with him is the last thing he wants right now, head throbbing at the thought. So he sighs, shaking his head. "My mind isn’t itself. I want her so desperately, it's making me unreasonable, makes me want to be by her side," Seonghwa grips the desk, thinking. "This is a new sensation for me."

"This is what happens when you've rejected every advance I've given you your whole life," Hongjoong sings, hanging on the edge of the seat. "And now all you want to do is feel her around your cock because you barely fuck anyone."

The familiar warmth coats his cheeks, looking away from Hongjoong. "How vulgar. No wonder the others don't speak to you about these things."

"Is it not true?" His brow raises. "I saw as you watched her hold the knife in her hand. Her soft, human fingers wrapped around it so tightly. The way she looked for help, her lips," Hongjoong sighs, falling back into the cushions. "If I were her partner, I'd never move close to faerie territory. Why risk someone so delectable? Because of a silly dream of yours? Quite stupid."

"You're too horny to think straight. And you're only enchanted with her because she does not fall for our usual ploys. And now even more since she isn't as human as we once thought."

“I am only interested in power, Seonghwa. And she is the epitome of that. And…” he scoffs, "Me? Horny?" In the typical Hongjoong fashion, he picks at only one portion of the conversation. "You're the one clenching the table in the middle of a woe is me moment. You can barely stand straight," Hongjoong's eyes flick to his slacks. "Better take care of that. And besides, she will enjoy us."

"Saying it does not make it true. Our hands are tainted. Hongjoong. Once she finds out that we have ruined her life with her partner, she will despise us. We are tainted. Do you not see it? All of your sweet nothings, soft words to her will not work. None of it will work. There not passes a day where she does not mention him."

"But she desires us, no?"

"She does," he admits. "But she yearns for him much more. I fear there will never come a day where she does not. It is like… it feels like she is one of us. Once we choose a mate, we will never move on from it."

"She's a human."

"As far as we know, yes. But Hongjoong–"

"That means there's a chance that we will change her mind," Hongjoong murmurs. "We can change her."

"Is it wise? Shouldn't we just… leave her?"

It's as if Hongjoong does not hear at all what Seonghwa is saying, brows scrunched in thought. He looks at his mate, swallowing. "We can change it Seonghwa. She will never move on from him unless he comes back and tells her he doesn’t want her,” Hongjoong murmurs, eyes flicking across the patterns in the rug. “And he was killed before we could force him to do it.”

“There’s no going back,” Seonghwa concures.

“I agree, there’s not. But we can do something so her mourning period ends quicker.”

“And that is?”

A strange look crosses his face. "I need Mingi."

His eyes widen slightly, “Hongjoong, we shouldn’t.” Just as Seonghwa raises his hand and begins to whisper, Hongjoong dissipates in an instant, leaving the eldest alone. Seonghwa lets go of the table, pacing back and forth. He can handle this. You're just a human, nothing more. He can handle this inane desire on his own. He can handle what Mingi is going to do. Even if his own thoughts seemingly cry out to run to you, to take you as his own. He can push past that. He grabs his research, flipping through.

Seonghwa stared at the book in his hands, his eyes wide with disbelief. He had read it over and over again, but he couldn't believe what he was seeing. There, in black and white, was the answer to the question that had been haunting him for months.

He had always known that you were different from other humans since the first moment he caught your eye. You had never been truly afraid of him, even when he had first revealed his true nature to you. You had never been seduced by his beauty or his power. You had always seen him for who he was, a faerie, and you had accepted him anyway.

But now he knew why you were different. You were immune because you were not a faerie nor human at all. He had never met another being like you before. He didn't know if there were others like you out there. He didn't know if you were the only one. He didn't even know that these creatures existed. He assumed it was just folklore.

He ripped out the page, pinning it to his board. The word stands out, bold and underlined.

[stayteezdreams]

Favor

Plot: In a moment of desperation you ask Seonghwa for a favor. He is happy to oblige....suspiciously happy actually.

Pairing: Park Seonghwa x Gn!Reader

A/n: For those who don't like vague plot-lines, this is a fake dating story.

Warnings: Nothing I can think of!

Words: 2.6k

Hanging up your phone with a sigh, you leaned on the balcony railing as you dropped your head.

'I knew I shouldn't have answered that phone call.'

Your mother, as much as she did love you, had a tendency to make things very hard for you. Most of the time when she thought she was "helping." This time, her latest scheme was to find you a boyfriend, or as she called it, your future husband.

There had been times in the past when she attempted to set you up with some people here and there, none of them worked out of course. Now she was planning on introducing you to not one, but numerous men, all at the same time. Specifically at your father's companies Christmas party. An event you dreaded attending in the first place, now your mother decided to add another horror to the list of reasons you didn't want to go.

Hearing the door slide open, you looked over to see Seonghwa. You felt your heart race in the now familiar way at the sight of him.

He eyed you for a moment as he walked up to you. "Everything okay? You've been out here for a while, we were getting worried."

You sighed, "It was my mom."

He let out a soft chuckle as he leaned against the railing beside you, "I'm all ears."

After explaining everything to him he stared of into space for a moment. You could tell he was trying to think of a way to make you feel better, or even an idea of how to get out of your predicament. But what you did not see, was the burning ache of annoyance.

The idea of you being set up with guys, or even going on dates with someone pained Seonghwa. Now to hear you were going to be forced on multiple men in an attempt to find your "future husband"?? His chest tightened at the thought.

"Can you just, not go?"

You scoffed softly, "I have to, if I don't my dad will hold it against me forever and will make me regret it in some way or another."

"Why is your mother so insistent on setting you up anyways?"

"She's afraid I'll die alone I guess." You chuckled softly before letting out a sigh. "God, I really don't think I can deal with it, I know she as no idea what kind of guy I actually like, who knows what these guys are like."

He smiled in pity as he watched you, "I'm sorry, I wish I could help."

'If only I could go with you...'

You looked over at him as a sudden thought popped into your head. If Seonghwa came with you as a date, would your mother give up? The idea made your heart flutter.

Seonghwa saw something light up your eyes for a second and he smiled, "What?"

Suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed by the thought you shook your head, "Nothing, I just had a stupid thought."

"What kind of stupid thought?" He asked, leaning a bit closer to pressure to to tell him, as he hoped you had thought of the same thing he did.

You twiddled your thumbs for a moment as you considered asking, or at least suggesting it. Glancing over at him he smiled softly, waiting for you to give in.

You turned slightly towards him, "What if... you did me a giant favor?"

He felt his heart skip a beat as anticipation built. "It depends on the favor."

"Well...if I went to the party with a date, my mom might not bother introducing me to anyone."

Seonghwa clenched his jaw as he repressed a grin. He looked out at the view and hummed, "That might work."

You watching him in anticipation before he caught your pleading eyes and let out a soft laugh. "Okay."

"Okay?!"

"But-! You'll owe me."

You nodded in agreement and he chuckled, still repressing the excitement of his own as he thought of going with you as your date.

Looking in at the party ahead of you, you let out a deep breath. Seonghwa watched you with a soft smile as he leaned closer "Relax, it's gonna be fine, you look great."

You let out a soft laugh as you met his eyes, "How I look has nothing to do with why I'm nervous, but thank you."

He grinned at you as he pulled you gently, encouraging you to walk further into the room with him. The large room was lit up by a bright Christmas tree in the middle of the room. Every table was decorated with garland with red and gold ornaments. Covers of classic Christmas songs played from an adjacent room as you spotted people dancing together.

Everyone was dressed in formal attire, most in various Christmas themed colors. You didn't get far into the party before your parents spotted you and made their way over.

They eyed Seonghwa as you introduced him. They knew of him since you and Seonghwa had been close friends for a while, so it wasn't entirely shocking that you showed up with him.

Your father was pleased by it, while your mom was obviously suspicious, as you feared she might be when you suddenly told her you would be coming with a date.

After your mothers attempt at prying, and Seonghwa skillfully dodging any suspicion. Your father managed to shoo her way as they went to greet other acquaintances.

You and Seonghwa made your way to a corner and mingled with each other as you watched the party around you. You didn't know anyone except by mild acquaintance, and there were very few people your age in general.

"I wonder how long we can stay before my dad feels guilty enough to let me leave."

Seonghwa chuckled as he sipped at his drink and looked around. He paused as he spotted your mother watching the two of you closely.

He smiled to himself as he glanced over at you before he slyly stepped closer before wrapping his arm around your waist and setting his hand on your hip.

You froze as a shiver crawled up your body as you looked over at Seonghwa. "What are you doing?"

He leaned a bit closer to speak quietly, "Your mother is watching us."

You casually glanced around and saw your mother eyeing Seonghwa. "Oh...". Your heart was beating faster as you felt nervous from his touch.

Remaining in this position for a short time, you saw your mother suddenly approach a younger man. Seeing her gesture over to you, you felt your heart sink.

"Oh no."

Seonghwa followed your gaze and clenched his jaw. It was going to take a bit more on his part for your mother to back off.

Your dread only grew as your mother approached you, stranger in tow. After some brief introductions, in which your mother barely acknowledged Seonghwa, the man seemed to grow nervous.

Glancing at Senghwa you saw him staring at the man with an almost unnerving gaze. You smiled to yourself as you realized he was trying to silently scare the man off.

Luckily for you, it worked, as the man excused himself a few minutes later, leaving your mother disappointed as she left to go find your father.

You nudged Seonghwa and he looked over at you, "I'm surprised you didn't burn holes into him."

He chuckled, "I tried my best."

Unfortunately for the two of you, your mother still remained unconvinced Seonghwa was anything to you but a friend as she started to plot with another one of the suitors.

Seonghwa, having been keeping an eye on her, saw this and quickly made his own move.

Taking your glass and setting it aside he smiled at you, "Let's dance."

You swallowed nervously, "Dance?"

He nodded, "Before she brings the next one over."

You looked round in panic to see your mother walking through the room with another man you did not know. Seonghwa slid his hand into yours as he swiftly lead you to the dance floor.

As Seonghwa pulled you close to him as you began dancing in rhythm to the music playing, you watched as your mother shoo the man off as she watched you and Seonghwa.

You smiled as you looked at Seonghwa, whose gaze almost parallelized you. You swallowed nervously again as you avoided eye contact, becoming more aware of how close you were.

"Did it work?" He spoke softly, making goosebumps rise up our neck as his breath brushed your ear.

You nodded and he smiled in pride.

"She always sees right through me." You mumble a moment later.

"Well, she can look as hard as she wants at me, she wont see what she is expecting too."

Your eyes shot over to him as he smiled at you. "What does that mean?"

He shrugged his head softly, and you slyly pinched his arm, making him hiss.

"Hey."

"Hey yourself. You and your cryptic words." You giggled and he smiled fondly at you.

He hoped you did actually understand what he meant, and the way you seemed to avoid eye contact, made him think you did.

Suddenly kissing your cheek you looked back at him in surprise and he laughed softly.

You scoffed, "I think you might be enjoying my misery too much you know."

He grinned, "Just a little."

Your dance with Seonghwa helped you avoid one suitor, but your mother managed to surprise you with two more as you and Seonghwa were talking to your father.

One seemed just as intimidated by Seonghwa as the first man had been, and avoided conversation. But the other seemed unfazed, even amused by the situation.

Seonghwa's annoyance rose as this man lingered too close to you, attempted to lean closer as he joked with you, and even brushed your hand on purpose as he handed you a drink.

The only thing saving Seonghwa from his anger, was your obvious disinterest in the man. Even your mother seemed a bit perturbed by his actions, which only helped Seonghwa's confidence.

Finally finding a moment to excuse yourself to use the bathroom, you and Seonghwa shared a nod as you made your escape. Once you left the bathroom, Seonghwa swooped past, leading you through the crowd, away from your mother and the cocky suitor, before the two of you stepped outside.

As soon as the cold night air hit you, you let out a sigh of relief. "God that man was driving me crazy."

Seonghwa chuckled as he slid off his jacket following you to the terrace wall. As you leaned on the wall, looking out at the view, you felt Seonghwa drape his jacket over you and you smiled at him.

"Thank you."

He nodded with a smile as he placed his hands on the wall and took in a deep breath.

"I'm sorry."

Seonghwa's eyes snapped over to you at your sudden apology. "For what?"

"Asking you to come here when it made no difference, you can leave if you want." You smiled almost sadly as you looked up at the sky.

"I think it is making a difference. Besides that ken-doll I've managed to scare the others off. I'll stay."

You smiled as your heart pounded. Seonghwa was always there for you in any situation.

Looking over at him, you smiled "Thank you."

He nodded, "Of course. Besides, I like the idea of you owing me."

You chuckled at this, "It sounds like you have something specific in mind that you want from me."

He looked at you for a moment as he seemed to study your face, making you feel shy. "I do."

You felt your chest clench, "What is it?"

He smirked as he turned to face you, still leaning on the wall. He cleared his throat before he leaned in a little, holding your attention completely.

"A date."

Adrenaline seemed to spike through you as your heart raced, "...A date?"

He nodded softly "A real date, not another fake one."

Your mind seemed to go blank as you stared at him in shock. "...oh"

He tilted his head as he watched you stare at him in silence. As much as he was not showing it, he was beginning to panic at your lack of response.

"Not interested?"

You seemed to regain control of yourself as he spoke and you shook your head, "Noo, no- I mean, that's not it, I'm just surprised."

"By what?"

"Well, why would you want to go on a date with me?"

The tone of your voice sounded so genuine Seonghwa felt his chest clench painfully. Did you really have no idea of his feelings for you? Had he hid them too well?

A frown was evident on his face as he leaned a little closer to you. "Are you crazy? I've been wanting to go out with you for ages, Y/n."

You let out a soft bewildered laugh, "What?"

"Yeah! I've tried to ask you out a few times but it never worked out. The others always found out and invited themselves along, not realizing I wanted it to just be us. So it always ended up turning into hang outs rather than dates."

As those moments passed through your mind as you recalled the disappointment you felt each time. You let out another laugh "So that was never on purpose?"

He shook his head as he smiled, watching you chuckle at the realization. As your eyes met you looked away shyly as you played nervously with your hands, a habit Seonghwa picked up on a long time ago.

Catching sight of someone at a nearby window, Seonghwa noticed your mother watching the two of you as your father tried to pull her away. He let out a soft silent laugh as he shook his head gently.

Looking back at you, he leaned closer as he gently reached over to caress your face, gaining your attention.

You looked back at him a little startled by his actions as butterflies swirled in your stomach.

"So what do you say? I don't want you to go on a date with me because you owe me a favor, I want you to go because you want to."

You swallowed nervously as your chest grew warm. You nodded softly, "I want too."

A grin spread across his face, "Good. Now, don't be too startled."

You furrowed your brow as you silently questioned him. You heart spiking as he leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to your cheek, right on the edge of your lips.

He smiled cheekily at you as you caught on to his reason for the kiss. "Is my mother watching us again?"

He nodded softly and you laughed, looking away bashfully for a moment before looking back at him. He leaned closer again, a teasing smile on his face making you giggle just as he kissed your cheek again.

"Stop! If you do too much she might start planning a wedding."

He laughed, before he suddenly placed his hands on your waist and pulled you closer to him, "That doesn't sound so bad."

You bit your lip to keep from grinning as he chuckled softly, adjusting his jacket around your shoulders as he looked back at the window. Your mother was nowhere in sight, and he had no idea if she saw the kiss in the first place. But even if she didn't, there was nothing for her to suspect now.

Now he had no intention of being your fake anything, and he had absolutely no intention of letting you go.

xx End xx

Sort of an abrupt ending?? But it's getting late and I'm running out of brain power lol

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[esmedelacroix]

11 days til' Christmas

ot8!ateez and their drunken habits on christmas ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆

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Hongjoong - The Clingy One

You were at Hongjoong's childhood house for the holidays celebrating Christmas with his family. There was a reason Hongjoong didn’t like drinking too much around his group members but you didn’t know what it was.

You would find out this Christmas when you made him a cocktail. Hongjoong’s family naturally welcomed you with open arms after he had made the revelation that you were a bartender.

They were tired of just drinking plain soju every year. When you got into the kitchen you made a multitude of holiday-themed alcoholic beverages.

“Here you go,” you said as you slid Hongjoong his fifth dirty snowman(spiked hot chocolate) of the night.

He was so lost in conversation with his cousins that he didn’t realize how much he had been drinking. That was until he wrapped his arm around your waist and nuzzled his head into the crook of your neck. “You good?” you asked him as you continued to make a drink for his mom.

“Yeah,” he murmured into your neck.

It was sweet but very out of character for him. He was very touchy but usually in private. You turned to look at him, noticing that he had the worst flush you had ever seen.

“Oh my god, Hongjoong, are you drunk?” you asked between giggles.

“Nooooo,” he denied as he hugged you again and kissed your neck.

“Yea you are,” you said laughing.

“Ugh, that’s how my boy always is, always hugging and saying ‘I love you’ when he’s drunk,” his mother chuckled as she came into the kitchen.

“You’re not going to be able to get him off of you for the rest of the night,” his cousin chimed in.

Although it was uncommon for Hongjoong to be this affectionate in public places it felt kind of nice.

On top of being clingy, he also got very quiet and gloomy when you weren't around and tried to lock himself in the cabinet??!!

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Seonghwa - The Sleepy Beauty

The electricity was out and you and Seonghwa were curled up in front of your fireplace wrapped in a blanket building a Lego Death Star while keeping each other warm.

It was the most brutal snowstorm of the year. You could hear the screams and shouts of little children playing outside in the snow. The sounds of sleds racing down the hill you lived on and the drip, drip, drop of the tap in the kitchen never really stopped. We have to get that checked out, you thought to yourself

You and Seonghwa made it a mission to try and finish the eggnog that was sitting in the fridge before it went bad. Once you got tired of the taste, you both decided to go for the wine instead. It was Christmas anyway.

"Finally," you sighed as the two of you finally finished the Death Star as well as two bottles of red wine.

"It looks amazing right Seonghwa?" you asked after hearing no response you felt something touch your lap.

Seonghwa had passed out just from drinking some wine. Or maybe you just could hold alcohol a lot better than he could. You felt really bad that you didn't slow down and make sure that he was okay.

You ran your hands through his hair slowly. You heard him hum at the relaxing feeling. "You're awake?" you asked.

"Hmm," he answered confirming he was still awake.

"Oh goodness, I thought you passed out," you sighed in relief.

You handed him water to help him sober up. He was still just very tired. You vaguely remember Hongjoong talking about how quiet and tired Seonghwa got whenever he was drunk.

The two of you curled up by the fireplace and napped for almost the rest of the day, it was one of your best Christmas' yet.

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Yunho - The (Bad)Dancer

Once all the Christmas festivities came to an end and both of your families left your place you and Yunho were gassed. Of course, you enjoyed having both your families over but it was no easy feat hosting a holiday celebration.

Thankfully they had all left quite early but the two of you were bored and seeking some excitement. What better place to go than to a bar on Christmas night?

Most weren't open for the holidays but one was. The bar was mostly full of singles moping over beers, and old men watching soccer matches on the TV because half of the town lost their electricity.

The two of you took a seat at the bar together. "Is that really you?" Sang-hee, your best friend and owner of the bar, quipped as she gave Yunho a nod hello.

"Merry Christmas Sang-hee, can we start with two milk and cookie shots and two Mrs. Claws Cocktails," you asked as you put your purse down.

"Of course, that on the house, but what are you two doing at a bar on Christmas night? Should you be getting freaky deaky by the fireplace?" she asked as you made your drinks.

The two of you laughed at her teasing feeling the heat rise up to your cheeks. "Just give us our drinks Snag-hee," you said, rolling your eyes playfully.

The two of you finished your drinks while talking your heads off with Sang-hee joining in occasionally. "Sang-hee, two peppermint bark shots please," Yunho said, feeling all giddy and tingly getting buzzed.

"I don't think I'll drink anymore, I still need to drive," you said as you sipped your water.

"Then I'll drink for you," Yunho reassured as he took your shot.

He started to stagger a bit and slur his words and you realized that it was probably time to go home. You turned to face Yunho but he was nowhere to be found.

"Hey, have you seen-," you started before being interrupted by lots of laughter and clapping behind you.

Once you turned toward the commotion, you saw your husband dancing like a lunatic on the dance floor. You let out a sigh and watched him dance his heart out. It was a common occurrence for him to start dancing when he was wasted but it was never good.

Every time you told him that he danced when he was drunk, he never believed you. So you took the liberty to take out your phone and videotape him dancing.

Once he began to trip over his own feet you knew it was definitely time to take him home. You draped his arm over your shoulder and helped him walk out as the whole bar cheered for him and asked for one more performance.

As you drove him home he still continued to bob his head violently to the music playing and you couldn't help but laugh to yourself.

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Yeosang - The Nonsense Texter

It was the first Christmas since you started dating Yeosang that you had to do it long distance. After your own Christmas celebrations, you got into bed and texted Yeosang. You had seen in his story that he had gone drinking with his group members that night.

You: yeosangie! how was your Christmas?

Yeosang: g

Yeosang: goo

You: what?

Yeosang: D u lov me?

You: um yes?

Yeosang: rely?

You: yes, are you drunk?

You laughed to yourself in your bed realizing that he was definitely drunk. It was very uncommon for Yeosang. He held his alcohol very well, you had only ever seen him drunk on occasion but you never took him for a drunken texter.

Yeosang: who i this?

You: It's me babe 😭❤️

Yeosang: what?

You: yeosangie?

Yeosang: ples stob it, only my girfrend calls me tha

You: i am your girlfriend...

Yeosang: o, hi baby

You chuckled to yourself at his texting. He barely made any sense. You took some screenshots just in case he tried to delete the messages out of embarrassment.

You: i'm going to let you sleep now, gn

Yeosang: who is thi?

You chuckled putting your phone away, getting ready for bed. You were so ready to tease him about it in the morning.

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San - The flirt

Christmas was definitely interesting with San staying at your house. You asked him to be on his best behavior at home but your parents didn't really mind with playful manner.

It was your first time bringing a boyfriend home, especially for such an important holiday.

Your parents were ecstatic that you were bringing a boy home and took every chance to embarrass you. Whether it was your dad telling him about your failed attempts at dating in high school or your mom showing him your baby and puberty photos.

San teased you about your emo phase throughout Christmas Eve dinner and you swore to get your revenge once you went to his parents’ place for New Year's.

Christmas Day was always hectic at your house. You were always cooking dishes and making sure everyone looked good for photos.

That Christmas you would be the one to make dessert and you dragged San into your endeavors. The two of you finally agreed on making strawberry swirl cheesecake after much debating.

At your shared apartment you and San always cooked while drinking wine so you did just that. San had a bit too much to drink but he was having a good time at dinner.

Your father kept filling his wine glass and he felt bad saying no so he just kept drinking. San would usually just be all lovey-dovey with you when he was drunk so you wouldn’t mind your family seeing him wasted.

To your surprise, he put his arm around your mom’s shoulders and kept on trying to make advances. It was entertaining, to say the least, he didn’t do anything crazy but he had mistaken your mom for you.

The two of you did look alike but she was flattered at how young he thought she looked.

It took you shaking his shoulder and reminding you of your existence, for him to stop flirting with your literal mother.

Your dad thought it was cute and your family couldn’t stop laughing about it even the next day. Once they had informed San about it he was humiliated. You poked fun at him about it, giving him the karma he deserved for making fun of your emo era.

In the bed, he got what he deserved but you concluded that you couldn’t take your flirty drunk boyfriend anywhere.

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Mingi - The Walking Speaker

You and Mingi were ready for Christmas. There were gifts under the tree. All the shopping was done and the house was prepared to receive your friends and family for the holidays.

The two of you finally plopped down on your couch and popped open a bottle of wine to share. The two of you silently enjoyed each other’s presence cuddled on the couch.

Mingi didn’t usually drink alcohol. He had made an effort not to drink years ago but he occasionally drank with you and his closest friends from time to time.

He got drunk pretty quickly. He often talked about holding his alcohol well but once he drank a bit he was wasted.

You decided to put the bottle away and join Mingi on the couch. You could decide on a Christmas movie to watch. You wanted to watch “Love Hard”(one of the best Christmas movies ever) and Mingi wanted to watch “Love Actually”(the worst Christmas ‘romance’ film to ever exist).

You decided to just let Mingi choose any movie but “Love Actually” and he chose to watch “The Grinch Who Stole Christmas” The two of you were polar opposites when it came to romance films. You had the correct opinions and he had the wrong ones.

He liked, “The Notebook” and “Lala Land”(most overhyped romances) You loved, “It’s a Boy Girl Thing” and “Dirty Dancing”(best movies ever).

Halfway through the scene in the Grinch’s layer, Mingi yells, “Oh no, is he going steal Christmas?”

“Oh my god, you scared me,” you said placing a hand over your pounding heart.

"Sorry!" he shouted right in your ear laughing at your reaction.

“Oh Mingi, must you always be this loud?” you complained leaning your head against his shoulder.

“Jagiya, let’s play a game,” he suggested pausing the movie.

“Okay,” you said skeptically.

You knew exactly what game he was talking about and you let out an exaggerated sigh. Mingi’s favorite game to play when he was drunk was a game where you yell in the other person's face and see who does it louder.

So you spent the next minute yelling in each other's faces before you rested your head in his lap unable to contain your laughter.

“Okay that’s enough,” you chuckled.

The two of you continued the movie along with Mingi’s loud and unhinged reactions to the Grinch ruining Christmas for all the whos in Whoville.

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Wooyoung - The Gossip/Eavsdropper

You were having lunch with Wooyoung after a successful day of last-minute Christmas Eve shopping. "Feels so good to be done," you sighed after the two of you ordered your food.

"Finishing Christmas shopping should be a celebration in itself, so I ordered us a bottle," Wooyoung replied.

"Seriously? The plan wasn't to get day drunk," you joked, shaking your head at him.

"We won't get day drunk, I hold my liquor pretty well," he said.

"That's what you say every single time. Then I end up having to haul your ass into the car," you teased.

"Well not this time," he assured.

But then it was one glass. Then two, then one more.

You only had a bit because you knew you would be driving the two of you home. Wooyoung wasn't all that crazy when he was drunk he acted almost completely normal. Almost.

"Did you hear that?" he asked.

You shook your head about to ask him what he was talking about but he violently shushed you. He listened to something attentively for a minute before finally turning back to you.

"The two girls behind us are seeing the same guy," he whispered.

"No way," you gasped.

"I don't like to gossip but I think one of them is his wife and the other is the mistress," he said, leaving you completely gagged.

"And get this, the mistress is 15 years younger than him," he started.

"No," you said in denial.

"And they're both in on it, they're planning to share his money when the geezer dies," he continued.

"You gotta be kidding me," you denied as you sipped your mocktail.

"Because the two women are seeing each other, they're dating behind the guy's back," he finished.

Your mouth was hanging open, you were completely gagged and impressed at his eavesdropping skills.

"But I'm not gossiping," he said.

"Yes you are, you always do when you’re drunk," you teased, getting ready to leave.

"I am not drunk," he rebutted as he took your hand and slid it into his pocket to keep you warm.

You leaned your head on his shoulder before saying, "I love you,"

"Babe, I think I'm drunk," he replied.

You laughed at his very late realization and enjoyed your afternoon with him as he gossiped some more.

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Jongho - The Liar

Christmas dinner with your boyfriend Jongho and his group members was a tradition that you always looked forward to. It was nice to see Jongho interact with his friends.

Even more fun to drink alcohol with all of them. You had never ever seen Jongho drunk, maybe a little tipsy but never drunk. The goal every year was to outdrink him but you always got wasted way before him and ended up having to go home early.

It was ironic how he was the youngest out of all of his group members and could still outdrink all of them. He was the oldest and the youngest in a way.

The two of you were running a little late but when you finally arrived you were greeted with smiles and hugs from everyone. All of you sat and exchanged gifts and got straight to partying.

Once everyone but Jongho(of course) was pretty much buzzed and all of you were tired of the drinking games you started talking about their latest comeback.

"The tour was so crazy, did you see how Wooyoung put the cake in Hongjoong's face?" Mingi chuckled.

"Yeah, I saw the video, it was hilarious," you laughed.

"Yeah, did you also see when we performed with Beyoncé?" Jongjo asked.

"What?! You guys met Beyoncé?" you asked, extremely shocked that you were never informed of this.

"Yeah we're working on a song with her don't tell anyone though," he revealed nonchalantly.

You looked around at his members in shock. They all nodded along holding in laughter and Mingi confirmed it was true with a snicker.

"What? Why are you guys laughing?" you asked cluelessly.

"He's tipsy," Yeosang said.

Jongho? Tipsy? Your Jongho, was tipsy?

"He lies when he's intoxicated," Yeosang explained.

You never thought you'd live to see the day he was drunk. You found it so cute that he couldn’t tell the truth when he was drunk either.

Sharing this moment with him was the best Christmas gift ever. Even though he still ended up having to carry you up the stairs because you had passed out.

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taglist:

@aripet22

[crazyfrm]

𝗌𝖺𝗇𝗍𝖺'𝗌 𝗳𝗮𝘃𝗼𝗿𝗶𝘁𝗲.

[dawnofus]

MERRY CHRISTMAS 🎄❤️

[tenelkadjowrites]

No Secrets At Christmas - Part One - Seonghwa x Reader (NSFW)

PART TWO HERE.

🎄 Summary: Having harbored a crush on your older brother’s best friend, Seonghwa, since you were both kids, you wear a dress to a Christmas dinner in a last ditch attempt to get him to notice you now that you’re a grown woman.

🎄 Word count: 8k

🎄 Genre and warnings: reader with brother’s best friend. fem pronouns for reader. mutual masturbation. dirty talk. 

🎄 Tags: @thewonderofkpop - @obligatoryidolblog - @iusrene - @yunhofingers - @foggyinternetchaos - @multihoe-net - @spiderrenjunfics - @whatudowhennooneseesyou - @jess-1404 - @just-here-to-read-01 - @lilhwahwa - @btsreader12 - @talkbykhalid - @rdiamond2727 - @inneratinyrebel - @8tinytings - @mrszackfoster - @xirenex - this tag list is for ppl who have requested to be added to either all my fics or just ateez fics.

this fic is not meant to represent Seonghwa in any way, shape or form.

               “I’m having second thoughts about this.”

               “About what?”

               “This dress. Everything. Existing.”

               Hongjoong, who is rubbing his hands together to try to get some warmth into them, glowers at you. Underneath the lights of the restaurant sign, the snow swirling around him and landing in his black hair, wearing his oversized coat, he looks positively diminutive. The snowfall had begun to wind down for the night but his hair seemed intent on catching every final snowflake.

               “What’s the worst that could happen?”

               Seonghwa won’t notice me. He’ll forever see me as the little sister of his best friend. I won’t ever move past the memories of being ten and annoying them to let me hang out. He won’t ever see me as a woman worthy of feeling physically and emotionally attracted to and this trip will end with everything the same.

               But since the last thing you feel like doing is spilling your soul outside the front of the restaurant, you just shrug and go, “I dunno.”

               “You look great in the dress,” Hongjoong reassures you, heading towards the door, “Come on before we are late. We won’t hear the end of it from your parents.”

               He isn’t wrong but it takes a few seconds for your feet to obey your brain and move. You are regretting listening to Hongjoong a few hours prior when he convinced you to buy the dress after discovering it at the thrift store. “Your brother said Seonghwa explicitly asked if you would be here for Christmas. He said he was looking forward to seeing you. Let’s push that advantage!” His speech struck the part of your heart that never quite gave up the crush on Seonghwa that first formed back when you were just ten years old.

               But Hongjoong, your best friend of six years, was a convincing speaker with a charming smile and ten minutes later, you left the store with the dress. But now, knowing that seeing Seonghwa for the first time since last Christmas is at hand, you only feel extremely nervous. You are sure that his prior words were out of kindness and respect for the long time friendship he had with your older brother and not indicative of anything else.

               The temperature change from standing outside in your bulky coat into the warmth of the restaurant makes you want to shrug out of it immediately but Hongjoong gives you a small shake of his head. “You get to the table with your parents and your brother and Seonghwa and you say hey to everyone as you shrug the jacket off. Make sure you’re near Seonghwa so he can see the dress. If you can’t sit next to him, sit across from him so you’re in his line of sight.” Hongjoong’s lecture in the car drive over is banging around your brain.

               Everyone returned to your parents for Christmas, including Hongjoong who simply didn’t have a good enough relationship with his to want to spend the holiday there. Seonghwa, who grew up next door until he moved away after college, also returned to visit his own family as well as spending time seeing your brother. This year, however, due to Seonghwa’s job, he couldn’t fly in until tonight, December 23rd, which severely cut into your already small time with him – another reason wearing the dress made sense back in the thrift store.

               The restaurant is bustling with people, the tables decorated with fake candles, wreathes with ornaments hanging off the walls, and a large Christmas tree in one corner which shimmered in lights that softly glowed in warm hues of red and white. Very faintly, instrumental Christmas music played, just enough to add to the atmosphere.

               You notice Seonghwa before Hongjoong does. The table is near the back, your parents listening to your older brother talk. Seonghwa’s parents are there as well, nodding in agreement to whatever is being said. The wine glasses are almost empty, the fake candles dancing off the glasses to make them look as if they are twinkling.

               And Seonghwa is sitting on one side, leaning back, turning his head to the side slightly as your dad begins to talk. Your heart constricts so quickly and hard that for a second you feel dizzy. He is wearing a black sweater that is a little too large for him, the sleeves extending down the palms of his hands, just his fingers poking out of the soft looking fabric. His hair is different than his last Instagram photo; it is now a sandy blonde. But no hair colour could trick you out of recognizing him with those cheekbones, that jawline and his full lips.

               How can I have harboured a crush on the same person this long? It is so ridiculous. Aren’t you supposed to grow out of your childhood crush?

               It is then your mom notices you, the entire table turning the attention on the arrival of you and Hongjoong, who wastes no time excitedly soaking up all the attention from everyone, dropping his jacket into the chair next to your brother, giving you the open chair directly across from Seonghwa.

               Smushed in hugs from your parents, it takes a little bit to untangle yourself from them as they sit back down. To your surprise, Seonghwa has also stood up to say hello. His close proximity is enough to overload your senses – from the scent of clean laundry, that low voice that is so familiar to you as he says your name in the same fond way he has since you were kids, to his smile which no matter how happy he is always comes across as vaguely uncomfortable.

               “Would you like me to take your jacket?” He offers kindly.

               You can’t help but glance over at Hongjoong, who is shooting you daggers. He doesn’t have to speak, you know what he is saying – this is the perfect setup! Take advantage of it!

               “Yeah, thanks so much, Hwa,” You reply, finally shaking off the cumbersome jacket.

               The dress isn’t anything out of the ordinary; it isn’t as if you just showed up in a McQueen gown or something. But it fits you perfectly, hugging you in the right places, drawing the eye to where you would like it to be drawn, while still being simple enough to not be flashy and therefore too much for a Christmas dinner.

               Seonghwa’s eyes travel down the length of the dress so quickly that you may have imagined it as he takes the coat from you, his gaze averting as he puts the coat to the side, his back turning to you to ensure it doesn’t fall off the chair where everyone had piled their own jackets.

               Disappointment fizzles in your chest as you sit down in the chair across from him, numbly thanking your mom when she tells you the dress is cute. You weren’t sure what your expectations were when Seonghwa saw you in the dress but you were hoping for…some sort of reaction. Something behind his gaze or a compliment or…anything to indicate that he didn’t see you as a little kid anymore. But he seemed unaffected by it, settling down in his seat to rejoin the conversation.

               So crushed you are that the magic thrift store dress didn’t work how you hoped that it is easy enough to zone out of the conversation and go through the motions until a subject change catches your attention.

               “Wait, what?” You blurt out in confusion.

               Seonghwa, who had barely said two words to you since taking the jacket, is now looking at you steadily. “I mean, if you don’t have any extra blankets, that’s fine.”

               “No, not about the blanket. You’re staying at our house?”

               “No one told you? My parents are remodeling their place pretty extensively so I’m gonna spend Christmas at your place,” Seonghwa explains, “Since you have the guest room. Your parents offered.”

               Panic seizes you. This has never happened before. You planned to cry to Hongjoong tonight about how the dress flopped, not be on red alert because Seonghwa would be walking around the place you grew up in, with constant reminders and memories of you as a ten year old kid.

               “Where is Hongjoong gonna sleep?” You dislike how accusatory this comes out, as if Seonghwa staying is nothing but a problem.

               Hongjoong interjects swiftly, “How spaced out were you? I’m gonna sleep on the pull out couch in the living room. We were just talking about if everyone will have enough blankets.” His expression is neutral but one quick eyebrow raise lets you know he is aware of your panic.

               Seonghwa is still staring at you, something flickering behind his gaze for a brief second before he clears his throat delicately. “It’s really okay if there isn’t enough to go around. I always seem have a hotter body temperature than most people and end up kicking off all the sheets in the middle of the night.”

               “Sorry, just…no one told me,” You shoot a glare at your brother who looks sheepish, “But that’s great you’re going to be there.” The words sound hollow to your ears and you wonder if Seonghwa can tell.

               You aren’t sure how to navigate Christmas knowing Seonghwa will be around 24/7. It meant seeing him in the mornings when you always look the worst, face swollen from sleeping on your side. It meant seeing him after your nightly skincare routine, when your skin is shiny in the least alluring way possible. Seonghwa is always well put together, one of those people who wake up at six am to go for a run like an alien or something, skin flawless and teeth perfectly straight and white while drinking coffee. He even can wrap a gift perfectly as if it is an artform.

               Seonghwa’s gaze lingers on you for a moment, eyes trailing down your neck as he replies, “It might be fun. Like old times.” He then turns his attention back to the conversation, discussing what the plans were for Christmas Eve tomorrow.

You slump back in your chair, somehow feeling just like you did at ten years old – annoying and forgettable. You don’t actually want anything to be like old times where you were constantly tagging along with him and your brother, hoping for Seonghwa to notice you.

               When the server returns, you speak up. “Could I actually have one of those candy cane cocktails I saw on the menu?”

               At least now you are old enough to drink.

*

               Dinner wraps up a couple hours later, with everyone shuffling outside to drive back home. The booze has warmed you up enough that your jacket feels too cumbersome to put back on as you stand next to a shivering Hongjoong. The snow is barely falling now and everyone is loitering just outside the restaurant as if you aren’t all driving to the same destination.

               “How are you not cold?” Hongjoong asks, bouncing on the heels of his feet.

               You shrug, still sullen and brooding over how the night played out. Your parents finally wrap up the conversation, taking off towards their car with your brother following. Hongjoong is scurrying off towards the rental car that you two picked up from the airport, telling you to hurry up.

               There is a shifting behind you that gets your attention and makes you realize that Seonghwa didn’t go with your brother yet. He brushes some snow that has fallen off a tree branch and onto his shoulder, taking a step forward so that he is standing next to you, tilting his face to look at yours. The little bit of snow still coming down forms a small halo on the top of his hair, one lone snowflake landing on his cheekbone, almost melting immediately against his warm skin. Impatiently, he runs his fingers through his hair, shaking the snow off. It’s unfair to be this good looking, you think, staring at him, and it isn’t even balanced out by a shitty personality either. Absolutely no justice in this world.

               “That dress,” He begins in an even tone, “Is it new? I can’t recall you wearing it before.”

               Glumly, you reply, “Yeah, it’s new, I guess. It was just a couple of bucks at a thrift store.”

               Seonghwa walks forward, heading towards where your brother is waiting for him by the car, yelling at him to hurry up, “See you at the house. To your horror.”

               You know he is joking but prompted by guilt at your earlier tone, you blurt out, “I’m glad you’re at the house. I was just surprised, that’s all. It’s good you’ll be around for Christmas.”

               Seonghwa stops, looking over his shoulder. “The dress looks nice on you,” He says in a stiff tone as if the action of complimenting you feels like a foreign thing.

               He resumes walking at a brisk pace, cutting across the parking lot towards the car. Momentarily thrown by the compliment, you watch him for a few seconds, wondering if he just said something nice because everyone else did so at dinner. Seonghwa had always been fastidiously polite and it wouldn’t be out of character for him to do such a thing. Perhaps he realized his error in the middle of dinner and felt too awkward to compliment you at the table, drawing attention to his earlier misstep. His reaction when you removed your jacket showed there was nothing about the dress that left an impact on him so the logic, unfortunately, felt sound.

               Standing underneath the lights of the parking lot, watching Seonghwa playfully shove your brother upon approaching him, your heart constricts. How many times at Christmas have you been so close yet so far from Seonghwa? There would be no such Christmas miracle when it came to him; life isn’t a Hallmark movie, after all –

               “Hey!” Hongjoong’s irritated voice rings out across the parking lot, getting the attention of a group of people strolling to the front of the restaurant, “I’m freezing my balls off! Can you disassociate in the car?!”

               “Oh my god, okay, I’m coming!” You huff back, tugging your coat back on and storming towards the vehicle.

               I can’t even have a sad Main Character Moment in the snow, you think exasperated.

*

               You toss your dress on the bed, switching to the Christmas themed pajamas that your mom gave you upon first arriving. Corny but her feelings would be hurt if you didn’t wear them – and fine, the little reindeers on them were kinda cute.

               I am not changing my routine just because Seonghwa is here, you scold yourself, leaving to do your skincare routine in the bathroom. It is nearing midnight and the eventful night is coming to a close. Your parents and brother already went to bed, Hongjoong was on the couch downstairs watching a bad Christmas movie and dozing off, leaving just you awake with Seonghwa somewhere in the house.

               In the bathroom, which is scented like cinnamon because of course your mom has some holiday scent plugger in the wall, and a hideous looking Santa thing in the corner which feels more Christmas horror movie than comforting, you do your skincare, mulling over the events of the night.

               After getting home from dinner, everyone had hot chocolate in the kitchen and Christmas themed cookies (store bought because no one had the knowledge on how to successfully bake). Sitting at the kitchen counter, still in your dress, even the snacks couldn’t perk you up. Morose, you tried not to watch Seonghwa out of the corner of your eye. In his dress slacks and sweater, he looked like the sort of dream boyfriend conjured up in a romcom or something, the type that would cuddle you by the fireplace on Christmas Eve. Eventually, he would settle down with someone and do that with them and not you.

               “You gonna finish your cookie?” Hongjoong asked, his mouth stuffed with one of the ones shaped like a snowman.

               You pushed the gingerbread one towards him, your heart not in eating anymore – neither was your stomach, honestly. Between dinner, the cocktail, and the sweets, you were full enough.

               Seonghwa laughed then at a joke your brother told, drawing your attention back to him. Your eyes meet briefly, his gaze falling away first, taking your heart with it.

               Miserable Christmas, you think back in the present moment, finishing up your skincare routine. Tragic, actually, how you had put to bed any hope of Seonghwa caring about you only for it to come back stronger than ever just because your silly brother said that he asked about you. Why the hell were you taking anything your brother said as fact? The man once cooked a frozen pizza with the cardboard still on the bottom in the oven for fucks sake. Seonghwa probably had just said he was looking forward to seeing everyone, not you specifically.

               Upon leaving the bathroom, you can see that Seonghwa is now in the guest room down the hall from the fact the door cracked slightly open, a sliver of light on the hallway floor. Your brother’s room is in between yours and his, closed and dark since he is already asleep.

               You bite your bottom lip, debating if saying goodnight to Seonghwa would be out of character for you. Desperate, yes, but would he find it odd? The temperature has dropped considerably the last few hours and you wonder if bringing him a blanket would make amends for your earlier frosty tone towards him.

Going back to your room, you sigh, wondering if you kept your TV on low if it would bother anyone. If there is one thing that is annoying about your parents house, it’s that it is old and noise travels easily.

               It is then that you realize the dress isn’t on your bed. Frowning, you double and triple check the bed, shaking out the bedsheets but it isn’t there. Curiously, you start scouring the floor, wondering if you had been so emotional that you thought the dress ended up on the bed but it fell elsewhere.

               But the dress doesn’t turn up. After checking underneath the bed, you huff, scanning the room from your spot on the floor. You swore that after changing, the dress was on the bed. Where else could it be? Not like it matters. It was a couple of dollars and I won’t ever wear it again, you think, turning your attention back to giving Seonghwa a blanket.

               The dress forgotten, assuming it will show up once you stop looking for it, you find an extra blanket and slip back out into the hallway. The light is still on in the guest room. Seonghwa might never have feelings for me but I still don’t wanna make things weird.

               The sliver of light that pours out the crack of the door slices cleanly across the hallway floor as you approach. Your feet are cold against the floor, making you regret not putting socks on. You are mentally practicing what to say and the friendly tone in which to say it, your hand going to the door handle.

               “Seonghwa,” You whisper but there is no reply – he either hasn’t heard you or your voice is too soft, “Hwa?”

               You hear a low noise, impossible to make out, but you assume it is Seonghwa replying to come in. Pushing the door open a little, the pool of light unspooling around your feet, your body slips inside, getting ready to offer the blanket as a peace offering.

               But the sight in front of you seems to crack all the words to a thousand pieces as you try to understand what exactly is happening. In fact, it is as if time slows down, just to give you extra time to process it.

               Seonghwa is against the dresser, oblivious to the fact you have entered the room. He had not, in fact, been replying that it was okay to enter. Actually, he probably would rather you didn’t walk in on him at the moment. His head is rolled back, his pajama bottoms and boxers tugged down slightly, enough so that he could get a firm grip on his cock as he jerks off into a piece of fabric that suspiciously looks exactly like your missing dress.

               He is biting down hard on his bottom lip, clearly trying to be as quiet as possible, given how sound travels in the house, something he would be well aware of having stayed the night here a thousand times before. He is jerking himself off hard and fast, your dress wrapped around his cock, stroking the fabric over his length. His eyes are tightly shut, a ragged gasp leaving his mouth.

               You don’t know what to do. Seeing Seonghwa jerking off would be enough to fry your brain any given day. But it is the sight of your dress wrapped around his cock that is really driving home what a surreal sight you have stumbled into. A thousand questions swirl around your mind – did he take my dress? Why would he take it? I mean, obviously he took it because how else would it end up wrapped around his dick? But why? Maybe he has some…fabric fetish I don’t know about and my dress is made of it…because the only other reason he would steal it would mean it had to do with me somehow and that is impossible…

               His hand is a blur, the dress growing sticky as his precum spills out onto it. The entire time spanning from entering the room and realizing what is going on only took a matter of seconds. And as your thoughts come to a close, you emit a tiny noise of surprise –

               Enough to have Seonghwa’s eyes snap open, his head looking down sharply in your direction. Shocked, you stumble, accidentally striking the door, closing it with a soft click, your back against the frame. Seonghwa looks horrified, his face draining of colour as he hastily drops the dress to the floor, trying to pull his pants back up and attempting to speak at the same time you do. The result is gibberish, bumbling words from both of you colliding in the middle of the room.

               But it is Seonghwa’s hushed voice that finally overpowers yours, looking absolutely panicked. “I am so sorry! I am so sorry! I didn’t – I know – I don’t know what came over me, I was going to go to the bathroom and I peaked in your room and saw it on the bed and realized you weren’t in there and I just –” His chest rises and falls rapidly, his hands in front of his pants to hide the bulge.

               “I don’t –”

               But Seonghwa cuts you off before you can finish, that terrified look still in his eyes, rooted in place. “I’m so sorry. It’s so disgusting, I know. I know, I’m terrible and it’s wrong of me. But please don’t…don’t tell your brother! I promised him –” He swallows hard, looking away from you.

               “What? You promised my brother what?” You take a step towards him without realizing it.

               You have never seen Seonghwa look so terrified. There is not an ounce of colour in his face and his bottom lip trembles for a moment as if he is torn on telling you more information or scurrying underneath the bed to hide. You aren’t even sure how you’re feeling in the moment because the only thing you can think about is clarifying the entire situation before your brain jumps to some conclusion that could lead to heartbreak.

               “Promised him that I would never…never approach you in that way,” The words sound strangled leaving Seonghwa’s mouth, “A long time ago. Years ago. Before anything changed.”

               “What the hell are you talking about?” The words are incredibly hostile, tinged with anxiety. Instead of anything becoming clearer, things just kept getting more muddled.

               Seonghwa blanches at your tone and doesn’t reply, leaving you frazzled and making another attempt at figuring things out.

               “Hwa…why did you steal my dress?” Another step forward, the distance growing smaller.

               His eyes fall to the floor as he mumbles, “I…liked how you looked in it.”

               You try to keep your expression neutral but the surprise you feel is intense. His reaction at the restaurant made you think he barely even noticed the dress.

               “So, you…stole it?”

               His cheeks flush with the first hint of colour since you caught him as he replies, “I saw your bedroom door open and the dress was on the bed. You were in the bathroom. So, I took it because I know I can’t do anything with you. Years ago, your brother had me promise not to ever date you. I agreed because I never saw you like that. He’s the older brother, he’s protective, so sure why not,” Seonghwa speaks more easily when he is looking down at the floor, his shoulders stiff as if he is wading through a jungle full of daggers with each word he utters, “I didn’t think much of it until last Christmas.”

               “Last Christmas?” You reply, confused, unable to recall anything that stuck out from last year.

               “I came over early one morning with coffee for everyone. You walked downstairs to get some because you were a little hungover the night before.”

               “I remember,” You interrupt, “We were drinking and watching some stupid romcom the night before. I woke up with a headache,” You are still baffled as to where this story could be going, “I was going to make coffee and then you were already in the kitchen with some from that local place a couple blocks over.”

               “Right.” He looks relieved that you remember and takes a small breath before continuing, “You came downstairs in these…little shorts. They had gingerbread men cookies on them. Even though it had snowed the night before and it was cold, you had fallen asleep in them cuz the booze made you warm the night prior. And I…couldn’t stop staring at your…ass in the shorts.” His face is starting to turn a bright red as he shifts slightly, making you realize the memory is getting him hard again.

               You can only stare, shocked into silence at the fact some pair of ugly Christmas shorts you only got because they were on sale in the discount bin caught Seonghwa’s attention.

               “I felt horrible every time I looked at you.”

               “Wow, thanks,” You reply dryly causing Seonghwa to look horrified, his head snapping up.

               “No, I didn’t mean it like that!” He exclaims.

               Alarmed at the change in volume, you hurry over, shushing him. “You know how sound travels in this house! Do you want anyone hearing what we are talking about?”

               Whispering now, Seonghwa explains, “I felt horrible because I knew what I promised your brother and here I was, checking out your ass over coffee. I didn’t know what was going on with me. But suddenly, I just kept staring until Christmas morning, after we opened gifts, I snuck off and…”

               “And?” You prompt, chest tight from an overload of information that you never thought could exist.

               “I jerked off to you,” He says so quickly that if you hadn’t been so familiar with the way he spoke, you would have missed the words completely. “And then the rest of the trip was torment. Just standing near you made me hard. I started noticing all these things about you I never had before. It was suffocating. By the time the trip ended, I was out of my mind. Leaving was a relief. That’s why I flew in so late this year. I lied and told your brother it was because of work but in reality I just didn’t want to be around you as much. I told myself if I came here for a few days instead of the full week, I could manage it more easily. But then you showed up in that dress and…”

               “You didn’t even react to the dress!” You hiss, trying to keep your voice quiet, “You barely glanced at it.”

               “Of course I didn’t!” Seonghwa snaps back, “Are you crazy? I was even kicking myself for slipping up outside of the restaurant and talking to you about it afraid that I was revealing too much. Especially after my other mistake of telling your brother I was looking forward to seeing you!”

               Due to the whispering, the two of you are close now. Seonghwa’s back is still pressed against the dresser, the dress in a ball at his feet. The entire conversation feels ridiculous, something you’d make up in a pathetic little fantasy before going to bed.

               “So, you liked the dress on me?” You dislike how frail the question sounds and the fact you are still looking for approval but it doesn’t seem like Seonghwa notices because he closes his eyes briefly at your question.

               “Yes, I liked the dress. I liked it too much because when I saw it on the bed, I remembered you saying it was from a thrift store and only cost a couple of dollars. I used that to brush aside the guilt at stealing it and uh…”

               “Jerking off into it?”

               “I thought I could finish quickly, clean it sneakily and then just drop it somewhere in your room.” That look of embarrassment returns. “I wasn’t thinking clearly. I’m sorry. Please, do not mention this to your brother. Please, forget that this ever happened. I never wanted to change the dynamic between us.”

               Well, I do, you think although the words don’t leave your mouth. You are struggling enough trying to wrap your brain around the turn of events that has just been slammed in your direction.

               In all your random fantasies and daydreams about Seonghwa over the years, not one of them ever included the possibility that he could be down bad enough to steal your dress, or desperate enough for you to cut his trip short. In no universe did you expect Seonghwa to ever desire you and now that it has suddenly landed in your lap, all you can do is stare at him.

               When you don’t reply, Seonghwa looks even more alert, immediately beginning to babble once again, apologies toppling out of his mouth in a quiet yet strained tone. There is something in his voice you have never heard before, a sort of fragility that sharply shifts away from the ever untouchable image you have crafted of him in your mind over the years to someone that is now expressing a panicked vulnerability you didn’t think could ever be directed at you.

               It is that same fragility that gives you a confidence you haven’t felt around Seonghwa before, that same fragility that propels you to perch on the edge of his bed, gesturing to the dress on the floor.

               “Well, don’t mind me. Just go back to what you were doing before I entered.”

               Seognhwa stops speaking immediately as if he was a DVD disc that someone abruptly ejected. His breathing is shallow, swallowing hard, eyes darting from your face down to the dress at his feet.

               “What?” is all he finally says.

               “I came by to give you a blanket as an apology for my tone earlier. I should have knocked louder. I clearly interrupted something that you were very busy with. So, please, don’t let me stop you.”

               Seonghwa stares at you, uncomprehending. You motion to the dress again and he swallows once more, balking at what you are suggesting.

               “I…I can’t.”

               “Why not?” You prompt, “You already were doing it.”

               “It’s wrong.”

               “Then why were you doing it?”

               Seonghwa opens and closes his mouth a couple of times, his face so red that he might combust on the spot. But by the way he is shifting his hands in front of his pants again, you know that he is growing hard. Your thighs clench, your head still spinning at how everything is playing out.

               You speak again, “If it was wrong before and you were doing it, then how does continuing what you were doing matter? You already decided that it being ‘wrong’ didn’t matter enough to stop in the first place.”

               In a strangled voice, Seonghwa goes, “It’s wrong because I promised your brother I wouldn’t ever…do anything like that with you. If it remains my secret, then that’s just something I have to live with.”

               “Well, it isn’t your secret anymore,” You bite your bottom lip, hesitating for a moment before saying, “Besides, we have the same secret. I’ve thought about you like that for….way longer than you’ve thought about me. I’ve liked you since we were kids,” The admission hangs in the air and you stare at Seonghwa defiantly, “So, either tell me to go because this promise you made to my brother matters more or finish what you started.”

               There. You left the option up to him as terrifying as it was to do so. He knew the truth now just like you did about him; the two of you are now on equal footing. Of course, if Seonghwa opted to send you from the room, you could never show your face to him again. The entire turn of events, from trying to impress him in the dress to then discovering the very same dress wrapped around his dick, would be impossible to forget.

               Seonghwa looks taken aback by your confession which gives you a little bit of comfort that your crush over the years has not been so glaringly obvious. He stares at you, his lips parted slightly, his eyes dropping to the dress at his feet. In the silence, you can just barely hear the Christmas movie Hongjoong fell asleep during still playing downstairs.

               Seonghwa swallows. “Maybe you had a point. Before. About the promise. I feel like it is wrong to do what I’m doing but I’m still doing it,” He bends down to scoop up the dress, the fabric grazing across his fingers as he brings it up, straightening himself. He clutches the dress nervously while going, “So, I should see it through.”

               You let out the breath you didn’t even realizing was being held. Your heart is skipping wildly, watching as Seonghwa brings his hand downward to wiggle underneath his pants, stroking himself through his boxers. Tearing your gaze away from the sight, you lock eyes with him.

               “You just gonna watch me?” He asks tentatively as the tent in his pants grows evident.

               You nod and then quietly add on, “Like I said. You’re just finishing what you started earlier.”

               His breath catches at the words, his other hand tightening around the dress until it’s a ball in the palm of his hand. He is rubbing himself harder now, the bulge growing larger, pressing against his pajama pants. Your pussy is getting wet at the sight, your brain still unable to fully accept what is happening.

               Still aware that it is necessary to be quiet, Seonghwa asks in a soft voice, “You think about this before?”

               “You like this? With me watching?”

               He nods, impatiently rubbing himself. Eventually, his shyness will be defeated by how turned on he is getting, just like you are sure yours will, but for right now, both of you hover at the tipping point.

               “I’ve thought about everything,” You reply, “What about you?”

               Seonghwa shakes his head, blonde hair falling in front of his eyes, whispering back, “That’s a cop out answer. You caught me jerking off with your dress. Give me something back.”

               You click your tongue against the roof of your mouth, knowing he is right. “Yes, I’ve thought about it. You in bed and you can’t sleep and I wake up next to you and realize what you’re doing. And I don’t touch you, I just talk to you until you finish.”

               Seonghwa’s eyes close briefly and then he tugs his pajama pants down, his cock hard and confined in his boxers, his hand diving back underneath the band of underwear to touch himself again. It is all you can do not to leap off the bed and jump on him but the entire situation feels akin to walking across thin ice that has formed over a lake and you remain on the edge of the bed.

               “What sort of stuff do you say?” He asks, his voice taunt and low.

               But you shake your head. “No, now you tell me something you’ve thought about.”

               Seonghwa emits a low groan of either embarrassment or from simply being too turned on, you aren’t sure. “I thought about bending you over in the kitchen and fucking you with those shorts down around your ankles,” He huffs out as he finally pulls his cock free of the boxers, wrapping the dress around his length before you can get a good look, “And gripping your ass until my handprints are on your skin as I fuck you. Tell me something else.”

               “I thought about visiting you and things got out of hand and next thing I know, I’m bouncing on your dick in your bed until you cum in me.” The words leave your lips hurriedly, your pussy wet and aching to be touched as you watch Seonghwa’s slender fingers jerk himself off, the fabric of the dress seemingly heightening his pleasure.

               He opens his eyes then to look at you as precum smears across the dress, continuing to make a mess on it. You have never seen this expression on his face before and only dared to hope to ever see it directed towards you. The room, which felt chilly upon entering, now might as well have a fire roaring in the corner for how hot you feel. Seonghwa’s cheeks are flushed, his lips a bright pink, as he jerks off.

               “Do you like watching me?” His voice is soft yet rough, trying to remember that minimal noise needs to be made. You nod, your hand snaking down to rub your pussy through your sweatpants, and Seonghwa watches as if entranced.

               You lean back a little, dipping your hand to go underneath the pants and your underwear, your finger diving in between your folds. You’ve never been so wet in your life, your clit aching to be touched. Seonghwa licks his lips quickly as he watches, his speed increasing.

               “Can you lift your shirt up?” He requests with a small pant.

               You do so, having removed your bra earlier when changing, exposing your bare tits to Seonghwa. His breath hitches, his pupils wide with desire, his chest rising and falling quickly. You pinch one of your nipples, your gaze steady on his face – the same face you have pictured a thousand times making the same expressions he is now, wondering what it would look like when he is turned on. You just never thought he would want you this badly.

               Adjusting your position on the bed, you kick your sweatpants off onto the floor, going, “You can’t jerk off in those, I’m still wearing them.”

               “You’re making fun of me,” Seonghwa replies although he doesn’t stop jerking off, “Like I don’t feel bad enough for stealing the dress.”

               “You feel so bad about stealing the dress that you’re gonna cum all over it,” You remark, spreading your legs open so he can see your underwear sticking to your pussy.

               The sight seems to drive Seonghwa crazy, his hips bucking for a brief second, letting out a throaty groan before clamping down on his bottom lip in an effort to quiet himself. “I shouldn’t be doing this,” He lets out with a gasp, staring at your underwear clad pussy.

               “You’re a bad friend,” You say and Seonghwa groans again, his eyes closing. It is that response that makes it clear that the anguish he feels over wanting you is a sort of sweet pain that heightens the pleasure – he secretly gets off on the fact it is “wrong” to feel this way about his best friend’s sister.

               “I know,” He pants in response, his head bowed, eyes still closed as his hand pumps the dress around his cock.

               Your finger brushes against your swollen clit. You are so wet that your finger keeps slipping off your nub while rubbing it furiously. You need to climax, it has become a powerful need to finish because you are too turned on to think clearly. A whimper escapes your lips and Seonghwa looks up to see you getting off, letting out a ragged sigh of his own at the sight.

               “I want to watch you cum,” He gasps, his voice shaking from the effort of whispering and to your surprise, he moves away from the dresser to in between your legs, watching the way your finger moves quickly across your clit.

               Your shirt pulled up, your tits exposed to him, with your legs spread and hand against your pussy, it is evident that Seonghwa is close to finishing himself. The dress is covered in precum, sticky strands of it across the material, his hand almost a blur as he pumps his cock, practically panting with desire over how much he wants you. Seonghwa has never looked sexier, even counting those times he would come over after going to the gym covered in sweat or the trip everyone took a couple years ago to the beach where he was shirtless daily for a whole week. Right now, nothing matches how positively needy he looks for you, the way the tip of his tongue pokes out slightly from in between his pink lips, how flushed his skin is, the speed at which he jerks himself off or the fact he is drinking in the sight of you like this in front of him as though he cannot get enough.

               “Hwa,” You gasp out a little too loudly, your nickname for him since the two of you were kids leaving your mouth in the sluttiest tone of voice you’ve ever heard from yourself.

               “I know,” is all he whispers back in a tight voice, “You gotta be quiet though, love, you have to finish quietly for me.”

               The gentle reminder has you clamping your mouth shut, eyes closed tightly. But it is the use of the pet name love that brings on your climax, your hips rocking back and forth as you cum as quietly as possible, breathing hard and fast, head rolling back against the bed. Your free hand grabs the sheet so hard that your fingers might break. The orgasm is incredibly intense and it takes all your willpower not to make noise when the only thing you want to do is moan out Seonghwa’s name.

               Your hips fall back on the bed, opening your eyes in a daze to look at Seonghwa, who is pumping the dress quickly around his cock, a shudder rolling through him.

               You prop yourself up, whispering quietly, “Your turn.”

               Grunting, he goes, “I’m gonna finish on your underwear. Gonna cover your cunt in my load.”

               “Ruining my dress isn’t enough? You need my underwear too?”

               “Y-yes,” His voice snags, he catches the volume and says the next sentence so quietly that you have to strain to hear him, “I’m horrible, I know.”

               “Not only are you a bad friend but you’re going to make a big mess on me too,” You murmur softly.

               “F-fuck,” Seonghwa grunts, the dress falling out of his grip onto the floor as he positions his cock over your pussy.

               He begins to climax, exhaling sharply to try to remain silent as the first spurt of cum covers the front of your pussy, soaking into the fabric of your underwear. Another follows as he unloads all over your pussy, your underwear smeared in his warm cum. His eyes are closed tightly, his breathing ragged as he finishes, his hand milking his cock for every drop. You watch mesmerized at how he looks finishing, at his cum landing on your underwear.

               In the silence that ensues in the aftermath of everything, reality seems to hit Seonghwa square in the chest. Immediately, he is back to apologizing for what he did, for ruining the dress and your underwear, tugging his boxers and pants up hurriedly, unable to look at your face.

               Yanking your shirt back down, you stare at the cum all over your underwear and with a small sigh, wiggle the pair off your hips, thrusting your hand towards Seonghwa, who is still not looking at you.

               “I don’t want to get your cum all over my pants,” You explain patiently as he blushes at the sight, gingerly reaching out and taking the pair from your hands, allowing you to slip back into your pajama pants.

               When you stand up, he swallows hard, still holding onto the underwear, which makes you go, “You can keep the dress and the underwear.”

               Tongue tied, Seonghwa emits a noise that might be some sort of word. You aren’t sure. You didn’t think it was possible to see him so flustered; the new side of him is endearing.

               Finally, he manages to squeak out an ‘okay’ followed by, “Uhm, I should…try to sleep.”

                “Me too, orgasms make me tired.”

                Seonghwa immediately begins to blush again, another thing you didn’t think he was so prone to doing. Somehow, it makes you like him more, if such a thing is possible. To your surprise, he moves close to you, his voice dropping as low as ever, looking at you through eyelashes so long you feel a stab of envy.

                “We can’t…” He clears his throat, “We can’t do anything…more than this. I shouldn’t have – you understand, right?” His eyes flick upwards to meet yours and you can see the mixture of desire and guilt swirling in him.

               You take a step towards him, closing the little space remaining. This time, the two of you are almost touching. If you dared to, you could kiss him. You can feel the way his body responds to you, the slight tremble in his bottom lip, the tiny sharp inhale, his hand opening and closing to relieve the tension he is experiencing.

             “Hwa,” You whisper, “I want you to fuck me,” Each syllable drips with desire, all pretense wiped clean by what just unfolded, “And now I know that you want to fuck me too. Do you really think we can get through Christmas without having sex?”

              “I promised your brother –” His voice dies, his eyes shutting briefly before resuming, “I’ve tried for the past year not to let anyone, including you, think I’ve thought of you as anything other than the sister of my best friend.”

              “And you did a wonderful job up until tonight.” The energy between the two of you is palpable, a crackling electricity that seems to buzz and hum, threatening to overflow. “So, why don’t you give me what I want for Christmas and fuck me?”

              Seonghwa is speechless, too shy to reply, too wrapped up in what is right and wrong to say another word. You turn around, heading to the door, leaving him standing there with your dress and underwear, knowing that Christmas Eve is going to be truly something else.

PART TWO HERE.

[bonitarkve]

ateez christmas layouts ?? also I love all your icons/layouts sm thank u for making them 🫶🫶

ateez christmas layouts ❄️🎄

[horizonmoonfics]

can anyone help me find this fic? I don't remember the name or who wrote it :(

it's seonghwa x reader, and is a holiday fic with smut. I think there were three chapters? hongjoong was also there but I don't remember his role, I think either yn's brother or best friend.

I think yn buys him a planner for christmas. hwa has to fly out to go home at some point

nsfw mentions under the keep reading

I think in the first chapter hwa takes yn's dress and jerks off with it and she catches him. and in the last chapter she skips a family event to fuck him

if any of yall can help out I'd really appreciate it, thank u ♡

[felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna]

BITCH. where are these in pc form?

[hwaightme]

The Chemistry of Christmas

❄️ pairing: hongjoong x fem!reader (+implied woosan) ❄️ genre: fluff, christmas, opposites attract, mutual pining ❄️ summary: How could two people with such different views hope for the same thing? You, a logical and ambitious professional hiding a torrent of emotion within just to pave your future. Kim Hongjoong, your kindhearted and gentle friend and co-worker, who wants nothing more than to live in the moment. In this battle against time counting down to Christmas, will you be able to find your forever and make your wish come true? ❄️ wordcount: 10.6k ❄️ warnings/tags: language, explicit mention of alcohol, some get drunk, suggestive (very much so at times so minors please be mindful), ateez is a research group, christmas getaway, reader is ambitious and got that powerful energy, shy hongjoong, opposites attract, tension, back and forth, woo tormenting hwa like no tomorrow, hj and reader are nanoscientists, a bit of a work au, lmk if anything else ❄️ a/n: hello everyone! I'd like to wish you all a very merry Christmas and thank you from the bottom of my heart for the love and support you give. I am wishing for this celebration to bring you joy and adoration! I hope you enjoy this piece, and stay tuned for more to come! Reblogs, likes and follows always welcome <3

Magic in the air.

As though by a mysterious force, the city transformed in unison to a festive wonderland, much to the delight of its dwellers and visitors alike.

From the gorgeous trees to the intricate storefront decorations, to the aroma of sugar and spice travelling in the air from the cosy markets, the season was truly the one that kept on giving.

If that was not enough this year took things up a notch, with impressive snowfall for the majority of December. The quaint suburban neighbourhoods had come to look like miniatures from beloved fairy tale stories, while the high streets and city centre had taken on an astonishing glow. The temperatures kept on dropping, while the hearts of those around kept on getting warmer.

For you, Christmastime was most probably the best time of the year. You adored wishing merriness to the assistants at your favourite shops. Walking past the myriad of houses with wreaths, spotting Christmas trees glowing within and seeing people simply living in the miracle put a pep in your step. The exclusive beverages that were released just this time of year instantly were on your list to try, and never failed to cheer you up, ready for the day ahead.

And that was the secret behind how you came into work, beaming, in the depths of the ‘gloomy winter’, cheeks and nose flushed from the biting cold. The institute, where you were proud to be a fulltime researcher in the nanoscience department, could not escape from the cheer either and as you traversed the many corridors of your second home, the offices and laboratories bore hints of the season, be it in a stray bauble or bell on a door handle, or a bow pinned to a wall.

As you turned the corner, you did your research group’s usual routine of saluting the skeleton you permanently borrowed from the medicine department, now dressed up as Santa Claus. You were careful to not spill the tray of hot drinks you had picked up on the way as you completed the gesture. Noticing a couple more holiday cards set down on the floor under it, you hummed in approval. This was what academia was all about, folks. Slow and steady, you swiped your card on the scanner right above your office’s handle and followed with a practiced push down and shouldering of the door. This space was shared between you, and eight other fantastic researchers – all of you recent graduates, brought together by

The office was fairly large albeit bland, with space for nine desks – all in threes, with one to the far left against the wall, and two rows facing each other in the centre of the room. Each sported an ancient monitor and computer that were left unchanged because they still worked and were the only system that could be trusted with running the expensive and time-consuming simulations.  A dramatic irony for any budding scientists-to-be who were all about innovation and equated research to being on a spaceship straight out of a science fiction movie. To the right was the ‘recreation station’ – a line of furniture collected from yard sales and second-hand shops, namely a duo of flimsy terrace chairs under the far window, a couch that had to undergo extensive treatment to get the stench of cigarettes out of it, and one of the better investments: a movable cupboard that housed kitchen paraphernalia and a microwave.

This was where you set down the tray, out of fear that if you were to tempt fate any longer, you were going to bring less than welcome floor decorations to the shared space. Besides, you did not want to be scolded by the resident cleanroom aesthetics activist, who was already giving you concerned glances from across the room. It was still surprisingly empty, given the time. You glanced at the clock on the wall, barely making out a 8:30AM on the dot behind the snowman face that someone taped on. You sure knew how to time your commutes down to a t. Right, time to get started.

“Good morning how is everyone doing?” you called out to the four men who had already arrived and were sleepily checking through their emails.

The chorus of greetings and friendly waves as they got out of what was a near trance was enough to remind you why you were grateful to be working here. Even on days when all of you were busy, or when life was continuously throwing stress tests, all you had to do was call out, and they would be there.

The youngest of the crew, Jongho, was quick to get up and saunter over to you. He looked expectantly at the drinks, while you took off your hat and ruffled your hair.

“Good morn’, Y/N, I see you are starting off early with the celebrations huh?”

“Never too early to pre-game, man, never too early. Here is your americano, by the way.” You turned to pick out the coffee, still piping, and passed it over to your colleague.

“Life saver, thanks.”

You watched in awe as he took a sip with a completely straight face, your own mouth feeling the ghosts of a burn. Fighting the shudder that was about to run down your body, you decided to unpack the carrier tray fully, and leave the rest of the drinks at their respective target desks. While doing so, two of your other close colleagues, Seonghwa and Yunho, approached you, pretending as though they were not about to snatch their beverages and run into hiding. You raised an eyebrow as Yunho did a little crab-like sidestep around you, having spotted his requested latte and wanting to reach for it.

“Go ahead, be my guest.”

“Thanks, and guess what, the Christmas crackers that had been delayed have arrived this morning!” he fist pumped the air as you thanked him for agreeing to sacrifice his apartment for any extra deliveries.

Once more, you turned to Seonghwa, who gave you an appreciative grin once you informed him that he was to receive a hot chocolate. Afterwards, you were quick to position the drinks on the respective four desks closest to you, saving your order and that of the man who was now standing before you, for last.

“Good morning, Y/N, thank you so much for this. Exactly what I needed.” He expressed, his musical voice washing over you.

“Good morning, Hongjoong.” You could not help but drop your voice into a half-whisper, unable to retain the previously more friendly and confident composure upon seeing his glinting eyes. Gazing at you as though, in that moment, you were the only one to exist in this space.

He pointed at the coat that you were yet to take off, inquiring “need help with that?”. You happily obliged.

He had to be the closest thing there was to an embodiment of benevolence. Ever since you had met him in your second year of university, him being your senior and assistant in one of your classes, you noticed just how natural it was for him to connect with others, make them feel seen, understood, and appreciated. He was the type of man to sacrifice time even for the smallest of troubles, and you had seen him staying late again, and again, to help your peers with their work, their projects, and on the odd occasion, life troubles.

You had been amazed his having never treated the evident exploitation in an outwardly aggressive manner, instead independently choosing to sit and answer question after question, treating them all equally and repeating himself without a single inkling of doubt that he was merely doing his job. Initially you decided that this was not for you to inquire into, Hongjoong being fully capable of figuring things out for himself as a hardworking and high-achieving student. But that decision had not lasted even an hour, as in the class you had discovered obvious signs of fatigue. When you had heard your peer question him about his personal life and he fell into an awkward silence, you took it as a green light to steal him away, practically dragging him out of the door and wildly tapping in numbers on the coffee machine. Coincidentally, it was also winter then.

Since that exact moment, you and Hongjoong had become partners in crime. You would never admit it out loud, but he had been at the forefront of your mind when choosing what you were going to do with your life after university, even though you had told yourself time and time again that there was no chance, and that you should reduce your feelings to the nanoparticles that you studied.

As much as Hongjoong was there for you, his altruism and innate ability to bring people together, to lead, had unintentionally put some distance between you. Not that he could notice. He was oblivious to how you yearned for even a minute more of his time. He was likely unaware of how he was making you feel as he helped you take off your coat, hanging it on the rack with indescribable gentleness. How you melted like a snowman in the sunlight at his small gestures, how he took great care to let you walk to your workspace first and followed you with the early morning brews. If you had to describe what he was to you, to put it simply, he was your Christmas.

In a way, he was the opposite of you. You were that loud, heart on your sleeve type, bouncing off the walls if the energy in the room was right and sinking into the darkest brooding if you were to sense it. For the most part, you had figured out how to convert this energy into high octane work fuel, and no matter if you were going up or down on the roller coaster that was life, you found a way to use it. Be it by burning the midnight oil and letting cortisol guide you writing your thesis (which you had scolded Hongjoong for before, but he had graduated by the time the honour was bestowed upon you, so he did not have to know), or by repeating that everything was going to turn out okay like a mantra. You laboured away at bending the natural twists and turns of the ride, which was so unlike Hongjoong, that you could not help but be drawn to him and his inimitable openness.

You were one to feel hard and deeply, no matter how hard you tried to supress it. And this was both a curse and a blessing. To your advantage, you could enjoy the small moments, like you and four of the eight wonderful people who you had the honour of calling your friends after some time working together, sitting in the quietude of a cosy office that acted as your base of operations. Much to your disadvantage, you were very acute to Hongjoong’s presence immediately to your right, as he pushed his seated form closer to you. The rolling chairs hit one another with a soft thud as he leaned further forward to position his elbow securely on the desk and rest his head on the palm of his hand.

“Are you looking forward to the party tonight?” for a split second his voice sounded almost desperate, as though he was searching for something, or seeking confirmation. Any worry that you might have caught on his features quickly dispelled, however, as you mirrored his position and responded, studying him.

“Of course, I am. Getting to celebrate my favourite season with my favourite people, what more could I ask for?” you were not going to mention that you were looking forward to seeing Hongjoong sporting an ugly Christmas sweater, as commanded by the mutually agreed dress code, though you had no doubt that he would be able to pull anything off. On Halloween he managed to make a Despicable Me minion-inspired costume look a bit too good.

“Probably for your secret Santa to have actually taken their job seriously this year around, unlike-”

“Hey, Mingi was… considerate.” You interjected but failed to make a strong point as you recalled the hilarious combination of a nachos packet and a box of tissues, wrapped in paper that insinuated it was suddenly your birthday.

Whilst Hongjoong had been mortified, and Mingi was stock still, ears burning, the rest of the group had a blast breaking down into a laughing fit that had returned many times over the evening. This selection had obviously been made just after an event three days before the exchange, when you had knocked into Hongjoong full force, making him spill distilled water over much of your top.  

“If you say so, but I bet this year is going to be much more exciting,” he winked. Luckily, he did not spot you stiffen at the action, as he was momentarily distracted by a notification, alerting him of a meeting he had to attend soon.

“Do you know who my secret Santa is, by any chance?” you tried, fluttering your eyelashes in a playful manner. He hummed, and lightly shook his head in disapproval, though his lips were curling into an adorable smile.

“Ah, I cannot neither confirm nor deny that, besides why would I ruin the anticipation? Patience is a virtue, etcetera, etcetera.”

“Says the guy who literally tried to speed run the preparation of a colloidal solution.” Seonghwa chided, looking over from his seat at the two of you, causing Hongjoong to make a sharp turn in his chair and argue that ‘it was an experiment and that he wanted to see what would happen just once’.

This was the never-ending debate of your office, so intrinsic to its function that you all ended up agreeing to set aside parts of the official group budget and of any new funding for something you had deemed ‘chaos expenses’ or, as once kindly called by Yeosang when someone had tampered with the electron microscope, ‘dipshit insurance’. You laughed at the exchange between the oldest members of your group, an unbeknownst to you, sent a shimmering light into your brunette deskmate’s chest.

He would do anything to hear your melodic laugh, or to watch your features soften as you let go of any stress that had plagued you. Thus, he had taken great pains to work behind the scenes for you, be it intercepting some unnecessary paperwork or figuring out laboratory access times for the entire team so that you could have your favourite slots. Sure, these were acts that benefitted everyone, but only your ‘thank you Joongie’ remained with him. The first thing he had taken note about you was just how valuable time was for you. How you spent it, where you spent it, with whom. So, he did the best he could to try to give you time that, as of late, had become his worst enemy.

In a way, you were the opposite of him. Whilst Hongjoong was one to strive for attempting every single thing in the book that was to do with whatever his passion was at a given point in time, you were one to be highly selective and strategic in your decision-making. As soon as he had spotted you in that one class for which he tutored, you gave off the impression of someone who already had everything figured out, or at least carried themselves very well, head held high and prepared to fight for what you wanted.

On the days when he doubted himself, Hongjoong would refer to himself as a jack of all trades, but master of none. The jack who never quite got why you had asked for his help in tutoring you anyways, but oh how grateful he was. You had appeared beside him, a saving grace, when he was about to collapse after over twenty-four hours of no sleep, vision blurry, struggling to process a single phrase. He could put up a powerful front, sure, and when he had presented his research at conferences, or was a representative of the university, and then the institute at various exhibitions and open days he was commended for his eloquence and ability to draw a crowd in. But that was what it was – a front. As soon as he was back to his and Seonghwa’s shared apartment, he wanted nothing more than to curl up and enjoy a steaming cup of coffee and let his mind wander. Reassess his work, seek unique paths to innovation, imagine what discoveries lied out there, waiting for him. To him, ironically, science was an art.

In his eyes, you were what should be under the word ‘scientist’ or ‘researcher’ in the dictionary. Every bit a logistician, you were the goal setter, the ambitious future leader. Leaving the experimental work to your collaborators, you were one to seek rationality and clear-cut formulas, to describe phenomena once and for all. You were driven to find truth in mystery, and positioned yourself as someone who was patient, strong-willed and would not veer off a path you had your mind set on. He had observed that you were equally as selective with who you were to allow to be part of your closer social circle, and very clearly knew your likes and dislikes.

This was why Hongjoong was confident that his blooming feelings were one sided. It was a dreamer versus grounded realist situation, but the dreamer could not help but fall. And fall deep. If he had to describe you in the spirit of the season, you would be a winter night. Freshly fallen snow, illuminated by fairy lights strung on pines next to whimsical brick houses, from which peered the domesticated fashionistas, adorned by baubles and garlands. You were the silent night, calm and bright.

 When he had drawn your name out of the Santa hat that San was approaching everyone with a mere three weeks ago, dread filled him to the brim. It was the first time, since he had come to terms with his not so platonic feelings towards you, that he was being given the chance to give you something. And he was not going to let this slide as a silly tradition that was meant to be there for laughs and eventually, for the gift. No, he wanted something bigger, something that would be valuable to you, or at least make you reminisce.

After a bombardment of your respective inboxes by yet another email chain from one of the seniors, both of you settled down to get to work, pausing only to greet the late comers who had collectively groaned in discontent, comically lamenting the now lukewarm drinks. As you typed you took glances at Hongjoong out of the corner of your eye as he reviewed some notes he stored in a tattered manila folder, delicate ring-adorned hands flicking through the pages. It was easy to fall for the undivided attention he was capable of giving. It was especially easy for you, being someone who could not stop rushing, with a permanent tunnel vision. This was why you loved Christmas, and at this time of year, wanted to believe in miracles.

Hongjoong could sense your intermittent observation with his half-turned body and prayed you would not notice the light nervous tremor he was battling to hide. Albeit it was barely there, like snowflakes ending their dance on warm gloved hands, it was enough to envelop him and make him lose sense, anchoring only to your strong and sanguine being. As he began to gather his belongings and gave you and his friends a light wave to signify his departure to meet with his supervisor, his mind travelled to tonight.

During the year when the entire group had begun working together, and moved into the office, the door of which he had just propped open, by a shared initiative and the lack of desire to drift home to their families earlier than necessary, they had organised a new tradition for themselves. A break from the regular holiday routine in the form of a friendly get-together, with specially curated Christmas playlists, movies, mulled wine (perhaps a little bit too much mulled wine), and every other practice or interpretation that they could think of. So far, there had only been two such events, but not a single one of the large friend group could imagine celebrating in any other fashion.

This year, the festivities were bound to be different for Hongjoong. This year he was finally not foolish enough to deny that all of his wishes were dedicated to you, and that he wanted to be more than background music, more than someone on the side lines to you. Though you sat side by side, saw each other more often than the comfort of your own homes, this type of closeness was not enough for him. Hongjoong could imagine a barrier between you and him, a construction of whosever doing. He was sure you did not need him.

Much as you were sure he had never attributed anything aside from common courtesy and platonic affection to you.

Both you and Hongjoong, unbeknownst to one another, were wishing for the same thing this Christmas.

There was a major change of setting for the party from last year, when the nine of you had been crammed into the apartment that San and Wooyoung shared. By a stroke of pure luck, an uncle of Seonghwa’s had decided to travel abroad for the entire duration of the holidays, and upon hearing that his nephew was to be celebrating with what was presented to him as ‘highly professional company’, offered to give free reign of a cottage outside of the capital to the group. Under Seonghwa’s strict supervision, of course, but that went without mention.

After the clock had striked the mandatory early end to your workday, the group had scrambled to make it in time for the train, arriving at the station with only minutes to spare, and wading through swarms of travellers about to make similar journeys. The near miss had sent you reeling, but you bit back the string of curses and melted into bliss once you had taken in the shared optimistic mood of the crowd. Somehow, even the slow walkers with monstrous suitcases that were ready to burst did not phase you as you sank into your seat by the window.

You glossed over the platform and antique buildings that lined the tracks as the train departed. Previously polluted and unsightly, with soot caking the ventilators and any stone within immediate line of fire from the screeching train brakes, it was now laying under a blanket of glistening white, dormant until the winter chose to retire.

Hongjoong was equally mesmerised, peering over your form while unzipping his hefty bag to take out a camera. It was a vintage number, one he had stumbled across during a trip to an artisan market, and after tinkering with it for what had turned out to be a total of two months, selected it for this trip.

He was adamant, even being questioned repeatedly why he had an affinity for a camera that required film whilst he was working on nano electronics, that this camera was the best way to tell the story of the next couple of days the group was staying at the cottage. And he knew that you would be the first to understand.

As you pressed yourself into your seat to let Hongjoong snap a picture, took his concentration on the scenery behind the viewfinder as amble time to regard and commit the artist behind the camera to memory. How a stubborn lock of rich onyx locks hovered right over his soft brow, having made its escape out of the woolen hat he wore. How his glasses with a delicate golden frame suited his sculpted face perfectly, even tilted down to give way to the apparatus in his steady hands. He was one for keeping memories, snapshots to highlight the priceless instances that others plead for in times of need.

"Stay like that for a second." His dulcet tone took you out of your daze, and you shook your head in embarrassment, realising that he probably caught you ogling him.

"What?"

"Just do it for me, please?" He repeated himself, camera at the ready.

"Oh, come on, don't waste film."

"Who says waste? You'd be the best part." He whispered, unable to return your scrutiny and studying the leather detailing on the body of the camera.

"Cringe, but I'll let it slide." You finally uttered, laughing airily, and striking a pose.

Right when you were in motion, not a thought in mind except about the anticipation of the celebration ahead, Hongjoong snapped a segment of that joy, more satisfied than he let on.

Playful, you shifted in your seat and moved to place your hands over his. You were likely pushing it, but with the seasonal buzz fuelling you, your usual stoicism and preference to influence others with words only, could be stored. Despite the fact that you were of the opinion that you were not right for Hongjoong, and that you did not possess the delicate, nurturing aura he deserved, you were enticed by competition and challenge. Seeing him be friendly to others, going from meeting to meeting to appease even those who had much to learn from him, made you want to fight for his attention. You wanted him to be captivated by you, and you alone.

You took pleasure in his widening eyes and lips parting, as though in longing. It almost made you believe that he too, wanted something more than just the normal chatter about the superficial that you shared, and his avoidance of being in the same room for extended periods of time when it was just the two of you. As his orbs dashed from left to right, up and down, you scanned every part of his oh so irresistible face, and only shared with him a smirk to describe your intentions. In a blink you pried the prized possession out of his slackened grasp and in one swipe got the attached strap over his head. Simultaneously, all hints of the near sadistic taunting evaporated, and you were back to being an upbeat, jolly passenger on her way to indulge in festivities.

"Now you. Pose, Joongie!"

Your transition from an overwhelmingly intense stare down to now giggling and instructing him, singsong and almost childish, drove Hongjoong wild. It was as though under your outwardly collected and amiable demeanour there was a turbulent river, dangerously alluring and intoxicating. Much to his dismay, the moments you let this side of yourself shine through were few and far between, as rare as a blue moon.

It had not been the first time he had encountered this version of you, however. The first, one he did not need photographs of to burn into his retinas, was when he had completely forgotten about his promise to attend the institute-wide New Year's party last year, instead remaining in one of the laboratories, immersed in modelling the design of a nano robot that had been giving him much trouble.

When it was already approaching an hour before the monumental strike of midnight, you had appeared off to his side like a shadow, a lab coat loosely draped over your shoulders and, underneath it, revealing a breathtaking cerulean blue dress that highlighted all of your best features. He gulped. You were beautiful. So beautiful that it left him terrified.

Placing your manicured hands on his stiffened shoulders, you had purred in his ear, demanding he were to join you that instant at the party, adding that it was lonely without him, especially in a sea of tipsy researchers. He had not dared to even try saying anything in response, having become impossibly malleable putty under the challenging, unreadable once-over you gave him that he swore burned his skin.

And when during the party itself you had rapidly disappeared from his company, busying yourself with entertaining far too many of his colleagues for his liking, he came to the revelation that the one who he had considered to be his younger colleague, an ambitious professional who he had enjoyed working with and had a bond with all the way from his evolution through university, had control over his very being.

After that night, all he could envision when you approached him in the laboratories was that New Year’s. Hongjoong was afraid of just how much he yearned for your touch and for your command, directed at him, unintentionally sultry. So, he had made it a point to try use his friends as buffers between him and you, even though it was going against all that he wanted and needed and led to the others figuring out pretty quickly that he was not indifferent.

The first had been Seonghwa, who, admittedly, did well in maintaining his composure when Hongjoong grew undeniably shy around you, but then made the great mistake of mentioning the tension in the lab offhandedly to the resident chaos bringers. And once San and Wooyoung knew, everybody knew. Except you, because what would be the fun in that, right? A couple of times he had been threatened with being locked in a closet with you until he confessed, mainly by Jongho who sat on the other side of him in the office and was fed up with the dynamic that his recently single self did not want to deal with. Every time Hongjoong fought back with promises to confess later, and later, until now, nearing exactly a year since, he felt almost out of time. There was an urgency in his actions in the weeks approaching tonight, and your teasing wasn’t helping at all.

He swallowed his desire to close the space between you, and mimicked how you had posed for him, causing another chuckle. Soon enough, he too, was immortalised in that roll of film, your two photographs as mirror images of one another.

The rest of the journey outside the capital had passed as smoothly as it could, since you did not have to suffer the fate of being sat in front of or behind any of your rowdier friends, namely the discord duo and two of the tallest members of your group, who only needed a small catalyst to turn into hilarious menaces. They had occupied a four-seater with a table on the other side of the carriage and, after Yunho revealed a set of Cards Against Humanity that he had hidden in his mini suitcase, were now cackling uncontrollably at round after round. Eventually, Yeosang, who had previously been fully immersed in daydreaming with his noise-cancelling headphones on, decided to join them, and left the group dumbfounded at his beating San’s five-point lead.

Jongho was right behind you, typing without a minute’s pause on his laptop, and Seonghwa, who had occupied aisle seat behind Hongjoong, was in his own world, disconnected from the turmoil two metres away from him, probably zoning out to ASMR. The entire ride was dedicated to you and your seatmate, and after running out of things that you and him in your positively excited, but nervous states had deemed appropriate to discuss, agreed to share earphones and listen to some festive jams to set the mood. Soon enough, you were both quiet, with Mariah Carey’s hit taking on a slightly different meaning than last season.

“Wooyoung, please be careful and don’t fall down from the table. As much as I do enjoy cleaning I don’t want to clean a crime scene-” Seonghwa’s voice rang out across the house as preparations for the party were in full swing.

“I DO WHAT I WANT, MOM! And I am doing important work here, look at this beauty!” the younger retorted after putting finishing touches on the festive arrangement he decided to do on the living room chandelier, and hopping down from the piece of furniture, spiderman style.

You had to admit, it did not look terrible, though perhaps just a tad garish. At least he tried. You shrugged to yourself and turned back to place the final bauble on the Christmas tree that Jongho had been tasked to find and lug to the cottage as soon as you all had arrived.

The cottage was located on the outskirts of a small town, though even saying outskirts made the settlement appear much larger than it was in reality. It consisted of houses dotted around the wintery landscape and some clusters built up closer to the station and the high street - a single line dedicated to all forms of shopping and recreation now converted into a quaint Christmas market. The residents had not disappointed when it can to decoration either, with their porches and roofs made to look as though the walls were supposed to be made of gingerbread. When the group was making the trek to Seonghwa’s uncle’s vacant abode, you had also spotted a church a little further out, its gothic spires appearing to pierce the rapidly darkening sky and stained glass glowing from what had to be a myriad of candles within. This location looked to be a perfect holiday hallmark movie set.

As soon as you all dropped off your belongings in various rooms, with you being given the honour of having your own one, everyone got to work. The plan of operations, consisting of phases and checkpoints, was under administration of the two eldest, and yourself in the role of what Mingi had called ‘vibe control’, seeing as you were deemed the most festive of the lot considering how overjoyed you were to discover the utter beauty of the place where you were to stay the next few days. Phase one, which was performing a last minute venture to buy up drinks and food and, the crucial element - the tree, had been successful, and transitioned into Seonghwa and a snacking Yeosang cooking up a storm, Jongho and Yunho totally not trying to trip each other up into the deep snow while hanging decorations on the cottage’s façade, and the rest of you running around from room to room, leaving traces of glitter in random nooks and crannies as you tried to not totally ruin the otherwise tasteful interior design with festive visual noise.

For the most part, it ended up looking well put together, and you were proud of the Christmas tree that had been mostly your focus. Aside from the moment when Hongjoong approached you, beaming, a cardboard box in his hands.

“Is this a bomb?”

“Yes, totally, as if Christmas hasn’t already exploded in this house.” He countered, stretching his arms further out to hand the box to you.

“Good point. Then what-” you stopped mid-sentence as you revealed a set of what looked to be homemade tree décor. Test tubes and miniature conical flasks corked up and containing liquids and suspensions of various vivid hues. The creator of the set had to have been skilled, as the corks had very neatly attached metal eyelets, to which the much-needed strings were tied. You hooked one out of the box with your finger and admired how the shade of the contents changed with the flashing lights you had wrapped around the tree.

“Where did you find this?”

“I made it.”

“WHAT?” you shrieked, instantly covering your mouth as you did not want anyone to join in on your conversation just yet. Thankfully, at the same time the front door was flung open and the duo who had been outside ambled in, arguing about something to do with phosphorescence versus fluorescence.

Hongjoong, cheerful, was more than pleased with your reaction. During one of the events hosted in early December by the department head, you had been impressed by an arrangement of clamps that were positioned in a tree-like formation, each one holding a colourful test tube. He had wanted to replicate that moment, that sensation, for you, and so spent a week sprawled on the floor of his bedroom, gluing things together and practically recreating Heisenberg’s lab in his kitchen to make the substances. He had striked exclusively under the cover of night, which had scared Seonghwa out of his wits when he was awoken by the rumble of the kitchen extractor fan and strolled in to discover Hongjoong fully decked out in a face mask, goggles, silicon gloves, and pyjamas with teddy bears on them.

“You are going to take a photo of this beauty after we are done right?” You were ready to give him countless pecks on his cheeks with how adorable he looked blushing.

“Sure.”

“Let’s make this a chemis-tree then. Help?” You passed the test tube you were holding to him and set the box down carefully on the ground between you. In comfortable silence, you two moved around the tree, occasionally handing items across, in a tranquil symbiosis.

Hongjoong savoured the moments you accidentally brushed your hands with his, and inadvertently took in the light scent of your perfume as you snaked around him to re-hang a bauble in the shape of an angel. He wouldn’t be able to guess what brand it was even if he tried, but what he was sure of was just how well it suited you. With white floral top notes giving way to something much deeper and darker, it was your daring magnetism in a bottle. A stark contrast to the sweater you were wearing – a red, grey, and white combination with a design depicting reindeers dashing through the snow, with some hearts and trees dotted around along with ornate bands at the cuffs, base, and collar. You truly embodied a variety of contrasts, an enigma that drew him in.

You hovered for a moment, deep in thought as you spun the angel with your fingers, letting a sigh escape you as you hung it on a not yet overloaded part of the tree.

“What’s up?” Hongjoong was curious, seeing that the little toy had evoked a new emotion in you.

“Just remembered how when I was a kid, I loved to make snow angels. Like, really loved it. Did not care how deep the snow was, just let me lie in it and I was happy.” You recounted fondly while Hongjoong turned his shoulders to completely face you. Standing closer than friends should be.

“Let’s do it, then.” He was feeling courageous, wanting to repay you for your flirtations on the train ride to the cottage. You laughed, lightly tapping his shoulder.

“I think I am too old to do that sober now, need a bit more Dutch courage to go hop in a snowdrift.”

“I’ll make sure to give you a big mug of mulled wine then, angel.” He informed; his expression rather coy. You liked this kind of Hongjoong. Not wanting to drop the tension, you took the tiniest step forward, and murmured, low and slow:

“You go down with me, darling.”

Before Hongjoong could respond to your concealed provocation, a yell from an incredibly vexed Seonghwa near deafened you.

“WHO THE FUCK TURNED ELF ON THE SHELF INTO A STRIPPER? I SWEAR WOO IF IT WAS YOU, I WILL REARRANGE YOU LIKE A LEGO SET-”

“YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME ALIVE!”

Now that sounded about right for a domestic, festive scene. You and Hongjoong immediately began to search for the exhibit, finding it at the top of the stairs, where an innocent elf was made to be wrapped around one of the railings in a suggestive pose, and when a flash of bright red hair zoomed past you with an ashen blonde ball of anger following right behind, you guffawed, not stopping until your ribs began to hurt.

Poor Seonghwa had yet to find the other elves that were set out in unconventional poses and hidden in random places around the house. You personally had spotted one inside the bathroom cabinet and decided to let it be. Out of sight out of mind. An act commended by San who was tiptoeing out of one of the bedrooms, three more elves dangling from his clenched fist. He had simply given you a nod and placed his free index finger to his lips, which you did too in response, tapping a couple of times to show solidarity.

After the wave of life-or-death tag, and the gathering of the entire group in the living room, with Mingi having finally come down after napping through the majority of the prep, you breezed through setting the table, arranging Secret Santa gifts under the tree by transferring them from a grocery store bag that had been hanging on the office door for a week to avoid anyone having any clues, and then, finally, getting to sit down, take a deep breath, and simply enjoy.

Every bit of this was incredible. The food, the company, heck, even the stripper elf that Seonghwa ended up not having the heart to take down because ‘he did not want to be a Scrooge’. It was obvious that with every passing hour, the buzz was getting to you all, as the chatter was getting louder and louder, the jokes more and more ridiculous, and the questions more and more personal.

You were amidst an animated conversation with Yeosang about wanting to try snowboarding sometime and planning an imaginary trip to some mountain range far away when you were suddenly called for by Wooyoung, who was sitting at the far end of the table from you.

“Hey, Y/N,” he slurred a little, having been ‘taste-testing’ the spiced brew since before dinner, “are you dating anyone?” Yeosang grimaced, mouthing a ‘good luck’ to you, knowing that once Wooyoung entered his relationship talk state, he was near unstoppable unless some extreme topic change was made.

“Bro your boyfriend is sitting right next to you, and no thank you I don’t want a threesome.” You quipped, inducing a ripple of chuckles across the group. But Wooyoung would not let up, even though San was repeatedly nudging him under the table.

“Nooo… you know what I mean. Just generally. Like, do you have a designated mistletoe partner?” you did not like where this was going. Not one bit. Hongjoong, who was sitting on the other side of the table, right in front of you, visibly tensed, alarm bells ringing in his head.

“Uh, not at the moment.” You could not exactly lie, nor did you want to, seeing as the person you would not mind taking that role was right there, and for some reason looked oddly fearful.

“Great!” He exclaimed, and in a matter of seconds was standing on his chair, bending over the entire table, holding a mistletoe branch… over the table and not so discreetly changing its angle from you to Hongjoong, and back again.

You locked gazes. Panic rose in your throat. You did not enjoy this feeling; control being taken away from you, your friend toppling you over and shining a spotlight on you. And now a metaphorical knife was being wedged into your heart from having to witness what you perceived to be as total unwillingness in Hongjoong’s every fibre. Did you want this? Yes. Like this? Hell no.

Seconds passed like hours of torture, and each sound seemed to have amplified thousand-fold in volume. Lost, you were unable to decide your next course of action. Logic, your go-to for any situation, had failed. Emotions were a wreck. Oh, how you wanted this to stop. Anything you had hoped for until this moment shattered before you, scattering agonising pieces in all directions.

Was this his chance? It must be. Had he been sitting next to you, the space would have been no more in an instant. But the separation, once again that damn barrier, now also in physical form was preventing him from following through with what he wanted to express. This did not mean that he did not think Wooyoung had pulled a dick move, especially towards you, but Hongjoong had imagined what it would be like kissing you under the mistletoe. Wishful thinking, it seemed. All he could read across the table was discontent, and the recoil unlike that of a cat’s. He was running out of the time that he had wanted to give you.

Before either of you could do anything, Wooyoung gave out a yelp and almost toppled onto the remnants of dinner, saved only by a very quick to react San, who wrapped his arms around the slipping legs and weighed them down. Everyone was quick to turn their heads to the culprit – Jongho who was sitting unperturbed, arms crossed over his chest. Yeosang had been the saving grace, whispering for the youngest to figure something out in ‘Jongho style’. So, taking one of the apples from the fruit bowl, he took aim and hurled it with all his might where the sun did not shine.

“My bad bro, I hit the wrong head.”

Wooyoung was doubled over, and the mistletoe was lying all but forgotten among the randomly arranged side dishes. Seonghwa was failing to stifle a satisfied laugh, while Mingi was quite literally gasping for air, hiding his face in the tablecloth as Yunho was rubbing his back, a grin on his face. You let out a breath you did not know you were holding, and you absent-mindedly picked at your sweater.

“Right!” Hongjoong clapped to get everybody’s attention, wishing for nothing more than to move on from this ordeal. “How about before we get too drunk, we do the gift exchange, yeah? And DJ-Mingi, blast the tunes a little louder, it’s Christmas after all.” He pointed at the taller male, who was currently wiping tears from his eyes, still breathing heavy from the fit of giggles.

“Aye aye, captain!” he saluted and in a couple of strides was at the Bluetooth speakers, which now began blasting Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree.

As everyone got up and headed to the huge u-shaped sofa, something stopped you. Mystified, you noticed that the mistletoe branch was gone.

The incident was brushed over soon enough, and the group was now losing their minds over each other’s gifts. This year, there was a very interesting mix of both humour gifts and genuinely meaningful statements, but that was to be expected from a Secret Santa where one of the rules was to ‘go ham’.

Yeosang wiped his forehead in mock relief as he was safe from torment: he received a giftcard to his favourite fried chicken delivery place and a t-shape tool for his skateboard – an ode to his most popular complaint being that the wheels did not feel right, or he swore he had to replace something. Yunho wasn’t quite so lucky, on the other hand, having received a tub of Vaseline with a printed note taped onto it that read ‘for the times that your supervisor fucks you over’ – it was a known fact that his supervisor, an elderly and angry man in his sixties, was notoriously hard to impress, and at this point probably made Yunho lose too many nerve cells.

You were Seonghwa’s Santa this year and tried your best not to show your delight at him basically bouncing on the sofa as he unwrapped the set of holiday-themed lint rollers that you had bought. Then, it was your turn and your friends followed your movements as you searched under the Christmas tree to pick out the gift with your name. Sitting back down on the couch, you spun it in your hands. The container was two centimetres thick and square in shape, leaving you perplexed as to what was behind the wrapping. You initially thought it could be an album by an artist you had been raving about recently but had to delete that from your mind considering it would be way over budget. You peeled away the washi tape that was holding the paper together to be met by a wooden box.

Turning it the right way around, you lifted the lid, and gasped. Inside was a necklace – a thin thread-like gold chain, and on it an intricate pendant – a tiny clock, its hands frozen on eight thirty. You were overwhelmed, but from your lips rolled out one word of gratitude after another. You ignored a now tipsy Mingi booing and calling out that it was probably over budget. Maybe you would have agreed seeing as that was technically a rule but shit, you were over the moon. You flipped the pendant around and spotted a message engraved into the back, so small that it was barely there – only for you to cherish and hold close to your heart.

Forever is composed of nows.

Emily Dickinson, you note. A poem you had quoted, time and time again. But not to just any audience. You look up, cautious. The gift unwrapping had moved on, with Jongho currently being the centre of attention, so you use the chance to seek out the one who you were sure was your Secret Santa. And sure enough, his attention was already on you. As you had wished so many times. Kim Hongjoong. Your Christmas.

He was praying that you would like the present. To the point of mumbling to himself and flittering his fingers over the throw on top of which he was seated. The idea had come to him when he had to stay late in the office, waiting for a response from his supervisor, who he had no idea had already left for the night. As minutes turned into an hour, and the only sound in the room was the ticking of the clock, with the outdoor noise having been absorbed by yet another snowfall, the pieces came together.

This quote encapsulated you both. On the one hand, you enjoyed it because the notion of ‘now’ being the way to shape the intangible future motivated you to remain organised, diligent, and focused on a specific path. On the other hand, he respected it for the interpretation that this forever had so many parts that it was crucial to not waste them on fixation and if they were to be captured, it was through the lenses of his beloved cameras. This collection of five words stuck a balance between Hongjoong and yourself, and explained that maybe, you were not quite so different after all.

The rest of the guys were tidying up the wrapping paper and some headed to the kitchen to carry the pot of mulled wine and the saucer, along with a champagne bottle Yeosang had produced out of the blue. You and Hongjoong let this particular ‘now’ continue for a little longer, knowing smiles on your faces, and the previous awkwardness over dinner erased. As you held onto the open box containing the invaluable message, you sauntered over to him.

“Thank you.”

He bit his lip as he lifted his head.

“May I?”

“Yes please.”

You turned and exposed your neck to him, moving your luscious hair to the side. Again, those black patchouli base notes that filled his head with only you. Hongjoong could finally pinpoint the rest of the bouquet, having recalled his housemate explaining the terminology after he had splurged on a luxury cologne and was trying to explain himself. He reached to take the necklace from the box, and not so accidentally caressed the sensitive skin as he clasped the lock. You explained that you wanted to see how it looked, so the two of you made a beeline for the full-length mirror at the entrance into the cottage.

You were inspecting the necklace in the mirror, still in shock at how it spoke volumes, nearing an inexplicable divinity. His body moving on its own accord, Hongjoong, who was standing behind you, gently placed his hands on your hips, and breath hot against your ear, complimented:

“I knew it would look brilliant on you.”

Your attention drifted back to Hongjoong, locking gazes with him through the mirror. He was all smiles, but for a split second you spotted something much more passionate. Intrigued, you wanted to test how far you could go before the man would snap. You were never one to back down from a game like this.

“Thank you, though I don’t think these clothes do it justice.”

“Hm?” you felt his grip tighten just a little, as his eyes shifted to your necklace once more.

“You know, maybe without them it would look even better, don’t you think?”

And there it was. The darkness only you could lure out from deep within him. A distant howl turned into a thunder, rolling across his body in waves. A man ready to do anything to drown in the turbulent river that had tantalised him for so long. A man lost in the silent night, at the beck and call of your voice that haunted him wherever he went. Hongjoong let out a shaky breath, his chest almost flush against your back as he held his head over your shoulder, level and mirroring yours.

“Do you know what you do to me?”

You smirked. He was still so heedful of you, navigating your ever-changing maze ever so slowly. But now, unlike before, you had a guarantee that the Hongjoong you had deemed to be attentive to everyone was, in fact, at your feet. You could finally read how he behaved around you. The adorable shyness, the inability to be alone with you for too long… it all made sense. Cute, precious Hongjoong. It was probably not the best conclusion to come to, but you felt powerful. Until the young man suddenly gripped your waist and spun you around, pulling you towards him until his face was so close you could count his beautiful lashes, study the intricate patterns of his irises, clouded over with emotion he had never revealed before, enticing you. He pressed his forehead against yours, eyes half-lidded and lips wet with his saliva.

“I’ll repeat myself, angel. Do you know what you do to me?” the pet name that had stuck with him since when you had decorated the Christmas tree slipped out, making you exhale sharply. You were enjoying this. Boy was getting braver.

You shifted the dynamic once more as you raised the hand that was not loosely holding the box and cupped Hongjoong’s chin, feeling him gulp at your boldness. You pulled away from him slightly, but only to observe as you traced his bottom lip with your thumb. It was so easy to make him melt once, after all these years, you appeared to have figured out the chemistry of Hongjoong. He shuddered under your touch, one hand drifting down back to your hip, attempting to press you against him, which you deny with a teasing poke of the box square in his chest.

“I can make an educated guess, darling.” Two could play the game as you enunciated the words so that each one fuelled his desire. Your index finger trailed under his chin, terminating the sensation with an instantaneous flick.

He groaned, desperate to end this push and pull once and for all, when you completely freed yourself while his mind was still enchanted. You had heard the others, still in the living room, getting louder, with someone loudly asking where you went. As if nothing at all had happened, you gave Hongjoong a lopsided grin and pointed at the doorway, informing him that everyone was waiting. Like hell they were, probably took notice of the absence at random and would have forgotten it then and there. As you ambled away, he bent over, stretching to try easing the unbearable tension under which he had been, thanks to you. Once more, he looked in the mirror, running a hand through his hair a couple of times, and yet the only thing he could see was your reflection.

Much of the rest of the night was dedicated to letting completely loose. Just like that night last year, you were purposefully oblivious to him tracking your every move. Paid no mind to just how attractive you looked, dancing to the pulsating beat of a song by The Weeknd that someone decided to put on. Evidently, champagne had started pouring. The night was turning into a blur for Hongjoong, as he struggled to process his actions. He had to plan something. And that something had to happen sooner rather than later.

He chose to slink away from the room right when now a very drunk San, Wooyoung and Seonghwa were recreating the infamous dance from Mean Girls to Jingle Bell Rock, laughter roaring in his ears and with his departure he finally managed to get you to turn and face him. He beckoned you to come to him with a wave of a hand, and turned to exit into the entrance.

When you followed and joined him, you found he was in the process of zipping up his winter jacket, having already tugged on all the woollen accessories.

“Where are you going? Stuff is wild in there.” You approached him to try and take his hat off, but he sidestepped towards the front door and silently motioned for you to dress up as well. Confused, but too interested to see the outcome of this bewildering proposal, you agreed.

When you signalled that you were ready by giving Hongjoong a double thumbs up, he grabbed the keys from a nearby counter and opened the door letting a chilly breeze hit you. You swore your mind was going through a thousand calculations a picosecond as you were trying to figure out the intentions of the man in front of you. This Christmas was definitely not like any other. As he walked further and further away from the cottage, until the lights emanating from the décor and from within did not hit the snow and you were hidden away from sight by a couple of evergreens, you repeated the quote that was now above your chest to yourself, letting go and trusting the man who was leading you into the landscape.

He stopped, waited until you caught up to him and were standing right next to him. And then, fell right on his back. You squealed in terror, assuming the worst. You peered at him, but were met with a very happy Hongjoong, who spread his limbs into a star shape, and began to wave them around. When you did not move, he stopped and shouted out, disappointment laced through his words.

“Y/N, didn’t you say you were a pro at making snow angels? Show me what you got.”

And just like that, you were also in the snow, giggling like the child you had been when you had done this last. Flailing around, kicking bits up in the air only for it to fall on you or him. You relished in the sensation, since it reminded you of something you had intentionally been repressing for the majority of your life – the ability to enjoy yourself freely, experience things that were not planned ahead and treating your existence as an ongoing work of art.

You were knocked out of your reveries with a snowball landing smack on your nose. You had not realised that Hongjoong had already gotten up and was aiming for another shot. It was on. You skillfully rolled away as he threw the winter weapon, picking up your own ammo as you did so. Once you were on your back again, the snowball was ready, and you got a clean headshot, having aimed for the sowed-on tag on his hat. As he was brushing snowflakes out of his eyes, you rose to your feet, hopping away and throwing two more roughly shaped ones. The game did not continue for long, though, because as you took some return hits you pounced on him, with the plan of attaining payback for the first snowball.

Both of you toppled on the ground and you laughed triumphantly, your body flat against his, nose to nose. While you were trying to push yourself up and get a grip on the ground to either side of Hongjoong, he pulled something out of the breast pocket of his winter jacket, raised it above the two of you, and pointed at it.

“Would you look at that? Guess we have to do something about it. Got any ideas?”

This man was unbelievable. That was one point on the endless list of why you were smitten.

“So that is where the mistletoe went!” you exclaimed, slowly leaning in.

“And this time I am not letting you go.” His promise sounding gruff, he pulled you in by the collar and finally, your lips collided.

The snow that had fallen from your clothing onto him rapidly melted as you sank deeper into the mutual craving. Starting slow, you got to know one another, keen to map out each sigh. You had fantasised about this for so long that it felt like you were in a feverish daydream. But nothing could compare to the real softness of his lush lips, the irresistible nips at yours and how he snaked under your coat and sweater, the coldness sending you into a frenzy.

As you repositioned yourself to gain more closeness, and as such grinded against him, you heard him hiss. He responded to your motion by pulling you closer and, his lips never leaving yours, tilting your head slightly to beg for entrance. You hummed in approval, mouth opening slightly to allow for his tongue to explore your further. Not letting him enjoy all the fun, you joined in the fight for dominance and savoured his addictive taste.

As you pulled away to catch your breath, Hongjoong looked completely at your mercy. Eyes still shut, panting, flushed and filled with want. He was beyond saving, left only as a vessel to be guided by you. There, illuminated by the moon and stars, you were ethereal. Your every angle and shapely curve was one he wanted to adore and worship. Your form, hovering above him, was nothing short of flawless. At the same time, within, you concealed a lethal sin, but one for which he would fall countless times, and willingly sacrifice himself for good. Your melodic laugh rang out over him.

“We are going to freeze out here-” You stated, unable to finish the thought as Hongjoong pulled you in again, growling against your lip and pushing himself against you. You sighed in pleasure as he dragged your scarf down to reveal your neck and planted rough kisses trailing from your jawline, stopping to claim you midway down. As you leaned over and peppered the side of his face with attention and nibbled his ear, sending a shiver through him, you stopped to purr:

“Though it seems you know a way to warm up.”

“You are a devil in disguise, Y/N.”

“Yours truly.”

“Mine?”

“And so are you.”

“Oh, come here.”

This was the kind of Christmas you were willing to enjoy every time of year. Together with the one who completed you in every way imaginable. From your ambition to his artistry, your tendency for timeliness to his tendency for timelessness.

Whilst you were opposites in some ways, you struck an unparalleled balance that made you stronger together. An enciphered, irreplicable chemistry that spelled ‘forever’.

[stayteezdreams]

12 Days of Christmas {2023}

Daily releases from December 14th to December 25th

❄ Winter Themed; No Christmas mentioned ⛄ General/Winter Themed; Mild/Background Christmas Theme 🎄 Christmas Themed/Based

A/n: Individual Notes and Warnings listed in each fic. Each fic is a Gn!Reader insert

Status: Complete!

December 14th: 'Snow Day'; I.N. X Gn!Reader ❄ After a big snow storm, you and Jeongin go out for some fun in the snow. But along the way, certain hidden feelings are revealed. (cute/fluff)

December 15th: 'Snowed In'; Seungcheol x Gn!Reader ❄ You and Seungcheol head to a cabin in the woods to prepare for a winter get away with the others. But plans change when a storm hits and the two of you get snowed in together. (fluff/light pining/romance)

December 16th: 'Cozy'; Yeosang x Gn!Reader 🎄 You and Yeosang spend a cozy winter evening together. (fluff/comfort)

December 17th: 'A Winter Date'; Chris | Bang Chan x Gn!Reader Chris takes you out on your first official date. But what does he have planned? (fluff)

December 18th: 'Eggnog Confession'; Choi San x Gn!Reader ⛄ While at a Christmas party, San drinks a little too much spiked Eggnog. Now he can't keep his thoughts, or secrets to himself (fluff/light angst).

December 19th: 'Winter Wishes'; Soobin x Gn!Reader ❄ It is believed that if you make a wish during the first snowfall, it will come true. It is also believed that if you confess during the first snowfall, you will be together forever.

December 20th: 'Mistletoe Mischief'; Yunho x Gn!Reader ⛄ Yunho takes every opportunity he can to kiss you under the mistletoe, even if that means following you around with it.

December 21st: 'Snowball Fight'; Changbin x Gn!Reader ❄ Changbin takes snowball fights a little too seriously...

'Christmas For Two'; Mingyu x Gn!Reader🎄 You and Mingyu go a little over board with Christmas decorations.

December 22nd: 'Mission: Christmas Cupid'; Yeonjun x Gn!Reader⛄ You go to a Christmas festival with the boys, only to be left behind with Yeonjun. But it's okay, this was supposed to happen.

December 23rd: 'A Kiss For Christmas'; Lee Felix x Gn!Reader ⛄ When running into Felix under the mistletoe changes everything.

December 24th: 'Favor'; Seonghwa x Gn!Reader ⛄ In a moment of desperation you ask Seonghwa for a favor. He is happy to oblige....suspiciously happy actually.

December 25th: 'Secret Santa'; Choose Your Own Ending; Jeonghan; Joshua; Wonwoo; and/or Woozi x Gn!Reader ⛄🎄 You receive numerous surprising gifts from a secret Santa, each one containing what could only be seen as a confession.

[atlsanc]

(💜🐰🌙) First post ^^ A kpop journal collab on IG with the theme of choosing a kpop idol and Disney character who are similar to each other so I choose Sally and Ateez Seonghwa!

[thewonandonly]

SIXTEEN ;; double take manager

PARK SEONGHWA is a stone-cold, cantankerous punk-rock player. He hates everything about the world, and if he had just one chance, he’d do anything to keep the best thing about the world in his arms; you, the complete opposite of everything he’s ever built up to hate.

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TAGLIST ;; @punks-rad​​​​ @atinytinaa​​​​ @prince-mingki​​​​ @dear-dreamie​​​​ @yoongiigolden​​​​​ @noonaishere​​​​​ @naiify​​​​​ @kodzukein​​​​

copyright © 2022 thewonandonly. all rights reserved.

[hongjoongdaily]

Happy Joong & Hwa Monday =)

[tenelkadjowrites]

No Secrets at Christmas - Masterpost - Seonghwa x Reader (NSFW)

PART ONE - Having harbored a crush on your older brother’s best friend, Seonghwa, since you were both kids, you wear a dress to a Christmas dinner in a last ditch attempt to get him to notice you now that you’re a grown woman.

PART TWO - With a sudden turn of events having unfolded, you will finally have Seonghwa the way you have always dreamt of.

FINAL PART - With less than thirty minutes alone together on Christmas Day, you and Seonghwa make the best of it.