#atcarmy

[nuka-cherries]

2- Sweet Like Honey : Cinders

📖 catch up here 📝 ao3 link 🎶 spotify soundtrack

Summary:

Aurora struggles with intrusive thoughts.

Syd 👩🏿‍🍳

Girl are you okay?I’m sorry about today.

💭

I’m okay. Just tired. I cried it out.

Syd sent a selfie of her tear stricken face.

Aurora took a selfie with the front flash on her tear stricken face, along with mascara staining her eyes.

I did too.

Omg twin 💔

Twin 💔

Today sucked. I don’t know if I’m gonnacome back.

I wouldn’t blame you ifyou didn’t. I was close tostepping out too….

What kept you going?

Loyalty to Mikey, Aurora wanted to type. Loyalty to her best friend who was gone. 

I cussed out Carmy at the end of my shift.

OMG. Did he fire you??

Surprisingly, no.

That would have been really funny.

Richie would havejust hired me back.

😂😂😂😂

😂😂😂😂

\\\

Marcus 🍰

Bestie, are you okay? Let me know when you can call me. I’m worried. I love you. 📞 Call ended

Hey, I know you’re mad atCarmy, but I just want to know if you’re okay.

\\\

Bestie, I’m worried!!!Please pick up!!!:( 

📞 Call ended

📞 Call ended

📞Call ended

📞Call ended

\\\

All those months ago, Aurora knew it was rude to eavesdrop. But the conversation was about her, again.

She had woken up to get water that night when her mom spoke with Tina. It was almost three in the morning. But The Beef was closed for the time being and no one slept properly anyway.

Especially now.

“Tina, I don’t know what to do.” Her mom sniffled. “She says to not worry about her. That Richie has it worse and we should worry about him. But she saw the body. Between losing him and Lita…I don’t know. I can’t do this. I can’t. I lost my wife and one of my boys one month apart. And I’m scared to lose my daughter too.”

“Mimi. You are doing everything you can.”

“I don’t wanna lose my baby too.”

“She’s not going to go anywhere. She’s a strong girl. She gets it from you and Lita.”

“She had to go to the hospital.”

“It’s not her fault. And neither is yours. It’s not anyone’s fault. Grief is heavy and it is—it’s fucking all of us up.”

“My Lilly would have known what to do,” her mom said. 

Lilly. The nickname that her mom used for her mama. Lilly, sweet Lilly. Aurora remembered her crying at the casket. Sweet Lilly. Beloved wife, mother, friend. My sweetest Lilly.

Her mom ripped a napkin from the roll and blew her nose. They ran out of tissue paper a month prior. Funny that everyone brought food over after the funeral, but no one brought tissues.

Not the folks from The Beef. They brought groceries. Homemade meals. They brought their presence and their company. They still did.

“Baby, we lost so much of our world right now. Don’t be scared of letting it out.”

Her mother sobbed. “I can’t. It’s like—like everything is stuck and won’t go away.” 

Richie was worried about her. Everyone was worried about her. They knew she was close with Mikey, close with her mom. They knew how much she struggled after both funerals. 

Aurora had to get better. She had to. If not for her sake, then for her mom.

If not for her sake, then she had to do it for Mikey too.

\\\

Aurora hated to work after therapy. But it was sometimes the only way that she could get the bills done and the debt paid off. 

Who was she kidding by sometimes? It was all the time.

It was how she found herself at her locker, the smell of Pinol stinging her nose in the best way from the earlier mopping.

“Simba,” Richie nudged her arm. “Are you okay?”

Simba. One of the many nicknames that stuck around from Mikey to her. Little Lady is what he called her. Little Lion. Simba caught on the most. Richie liked to call her that most of the time.

“I’m fine,” Aurora said. “Nothing I can’t handle.”

Richie did not believe her.

“Believe me, I’m okay.”

“It’s not that I don’t believe you…”

“You kind of have the look that you don’t.”

“Well, a little. But you look tired.”

“I’m always tired.” Aurora tied the apron around her waist. “From lifting more than you.”

“Only thing you lift is pans into the sink.”

“Better than the thirty seven spoons you dropped.”

“It was one time!” Richie exclaimed. “And it was only six!”

“No, it was thirty seven,” Aurora said with a shrug. “I was there. I counted them.”

Her phone buzzed. She glanced down to a text message from Marcus.

Marcus 🍰 Hey, sorry, I fell asleep the moment I got home. Yes, I’m ok.  I took the day. Just a lot on my mind.

Oh. 

He was alive. He didn’t kill himself.

No, Marcus did not die of suicide—

Stop. Stop, Rora, why would your mind go there? Pendeja, pendeja, pendeja—

💖 its okay, i’m gladyou got some rest.ily 🤟🏽

“Sweetheart.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Aurora tried not to think about how her heart was racing still. Marcus was fine. Marcus was fine. He just needed to take a day. Funny how she just came back from therapy and her day felt worse. “Marcus just decided to take the day.”

Mikey took the day too. He left his apron in the office hook. He—

She leaned onto her locker. Bit her lip. Tried to count.

Failed.

“Hey, if you need to go home…”

“I’m fine,” Aurora said firmly. “If I go home, it makes everything worse.”

“Sit down. Alright?”

“Richie, I swear I’m fine.” But she sat down anyway.

“Just take a seat. Deep breath.” He hugged her. “Deep breath. I love you, sister.”

“I love you too.” Aurora took a deep breath. No, she was not going to cry. She was not going to cry. She was tough. She had to get better. She had to get better.

She waited until her heart stopped racing. Waited until her breathing was under control.

Richie let her go. He patted her shoulder. 

“Are you ready to get the party started?”

“Hell yeah. Let’s fuck it up.”