#at the same time i have been taking on other mitzvot which are also significant to maintaing a covenant with g-d

[son-of-avraham]

There’s pros and cons of being a trans man but one huge pro is that we don’t have to do the traditional Brit which I’m so thankful for cause idk if I could do that at 22 if I had the cis male *parts* 💀

It feels like one big cheat code, in all honesty 😂

[dafpunk]

Yitro

6 February 2021

I love this parsha because of its namesake. Yitro—that is, Jethro—is my number-one favorite character in the entire Torah, and I don't think that's just DreamWorks SKG's smokin'-hot zaddy talking.

Start with his name. Shmot Rabbah, the great midrash, says that "Yitro" means "expand"; in one case, that he expanded the Torah. And that he was called Hobab when he was first introduced because of his great love—the root H-B-B meaning "love". Whenever he appears in the Torah, he spreads and expands love.

And this parshah won't stop talking about Yitro's name! Every time he's mentioned, he comes along with one of his epithets; he's never simply referred to by his name. And these two epithets are interesting: first, he's "kohein Mid'yan", the priest of Midian. But not any priest, a kohein, like the Israelite priests.

Second, he's "chotein Mosheh", Mosheh's father-in-law. This is the most frequent epithet, sometimes used without even Yitro's name. But it doesn't exactly mean "father-in-law"; in modern Hebrew, father-in-law is cham. Although we assume Yitro is that kind of relative to Moses, Ch-T-N is the same root as chatan, husband or bridegroom, and the root has to do with creating a familial covenant. It sounds to me like Yitro is a very special kind of relative to Mosheh and has a really important bond with him, not merely through Tzipporah, but from heart to heart.

In this parshah, Yitro does a few very important things:

He brings Tzipporah, Gershom, and Eliezer back to Moses after he "sent Tzipporah away",

He tells Mosheh to take a fucking break,

He explains to Mosheh the will of G-d, essentially superceding Moses as a prophet.

And all these things prepare the people of Israel for receiving the Torah from G-d on Mount Sinai, arguably the highest point in the history of the People of Israel, ever.

So what's the significance of the three things Yitro does?

Most importantly, Yitro, as a wise elder who's been in the struggle for a lot longer than Mosheh, schools him on his priorities and responsibilities. Thinking back to Bereishit, Avraham didn't have anyone to tell him about his responsibilities, and he wouldn't even listen to other prophets like Avimelech, so Avraham ended up a self-serving, egotistical megalomaniac. Yitro—and it can be inferred, the Holy One of Blessing—does not want to see that happen again with Mosheh.

Mosheh is also clearly in need of a father figure, a chotein. We learn from the Talmud in Sotah 12a that Amram was a leader in Israel, but he broke under stress. When he learned that Pharoah intended to kill all of the newborn male Israelites, he threw in the towel, and if it hadn't been for Miryam, that would have been the end of the Jewish people.

On the other hand, my own father likes to lean into his persona of the Asian Immigrant Dad (his words, not mine!) He takes it to mean that if you want something, you have to work hard for it, making it your single-minded focus until you achieve the results you want.

But in reality, we don't need either of these extreme solutions to weather life's storms, and Yitro arrives with Tzipporah to teach Mosheh a thing or two. The first thing he taught him is that one's responsibility to G-d does not come before one's responsibility to family. Rashi explains that Mosheh had divorced Tzipporah when Aharon disparaged her as they came to Egypt. In essence, Mosheh despaired and pulled an Amram: oh, things are hard in Egypt? Well, Tzipporah might as well go home and I'll disavow her. Here ends the line of Mosheh.

And in fact, Yitro comes to Mosheh saying "I... am coming to you with your wife and her two sons"—not yours, hers. But they are his, too, and he has a responsibility towards them. Likewise, we all have a responsibility to care for the one's we're bonded to, even if work gets tough. Even if you’re literally Moses.

The second thing Yitro teaches Mosheh is to work smart, not hard. When Yitro saw Moses pulling absurd hours, being out of the house from morning until evening, Yitro pointed out that this was no way to live, and no way to lead; an easy path to instant burnout. He says, “ki-chaveid mim’cha hadavar, lo-tuchal asohu l’vadecha”: “the word is heavy on you, you can’t do it alone and succeed.” Yitro’s not insulting his son-in-law. He’s just stating a fact: you can’t do it alone and succeed.

The final thing Yitro does, which I find the most interesting, is that he speaks for G-d. Like Avimelech, who gets an angelic visit, the Holy One of Blessing has Yitro speak from his divinity. Even before the Torah is given, Yitro knows the mitzvot, saying that G-d commands Mosheh to delegate authority.

At this point, Yitro has just recently accepted G-d as the most powerful. As in, minutes or perhaps hours earlier. But this story teaches us that there is divinity and conscience in every human being, Jewish or otherwise, and we all innately know what the Holy One of Blessing commands even if we can’t fully express it. So Yitro teaches Mosheh another lesson: even if we today venerate Mosheh as our great teacher, he’s nothing without the ones who taught him.