#at that point i was only thinking of the punisher as 'eom = bad' but that just didnt feel right

[collieii]

one line in trimax that's always stuck with me is from chapter 65, right after wolfwood's death. when vash is sticking the punisher by his grave and he says "it was part of his life". that phrasing is so interesting to me. the neutrality of it is one thing that gets me, i think. it was part of his life. for better or worse, whatever it was, the punisher was wolfwood's.

It's pretty easy to think that the punisher might represent violence, the eye of michael, the role of assassin that was forced onto wolfwood, the loss of childhood. but it's not really presented that way, not overtly anyways. we never see wolfwood shun the punisher, he's not conflicted by his use of it. he never considers abandoning it for some other weapon. it's his weapon. he doesn't discard it when he eventually decides to take a more vash-like approach and actually let people live. he pretty easily accepts it as his own, a tool he can use. (to be fair, at least part of that is probably because the punisher is a very good gun.)

the punisher can still represent the harsher aspects of wolfwood's character, the violence he's committed, that he's capable of. that's an important part of his life! and the idea of it as representative of his violent adolescence, childhood that was stripped away, goes along with this - it's literally a cross to bear. but besides showing his past as a burden, i think of the punisher as being a cross of responsibility. when you have a gun you have power, agency - you have a responsibility to make a choice. that's what wolfwood tells vash in chapter 4.

the ability to take a life, the burden of it, is literally his cross to bear. that ability - and that responsibility - was given to him by the eom, literally in terms of the gun, and in terms of his skills. but the eye doesn't think twice about killing people. for them it's not really a choice, a responsibility, it's just a given. but wolfwood can't accept that. he's constantly considering the choices he makes.

so the punisher isn't only a symbol of the eye of michael, of the path that he was forced onto. it's also a way of expressing autonomy. the eye gave wolfwood the gun, but he decides how to use it and what it means. for much of the story wolfwood struggles to decide what to do, he's a very conflicted character. but eventually he resolves to use it against chapel, against knives, to help vash, and protect the orphanage. the gun gives him agency.

so the punisher was part of his life. it was the tool that he used to commit acts of violence, acts that he was forced into, but also the tool he used to break free.

it's heavy for vash, too. he's not exempt from that idea, the idea of responsibility. as wolfwood said much earlier in the story, vash has always been able to sidestep the question of "what do i choose?", because he's only ever given himself one option - everybody lives. and he's always succeeded. but as wolfwood says, "the day will come when you'll have to choose". one day, it's not going to work.

and of course the story progresses, the stakes ramp up, and vash learns more, goes through more, and is pushed to his limits. i think by this point, by wolfwood's death, and maybe because of it, vash has realized that he might have to make that difficult choice in the near future. that's one reason why he wants to "do him proud". he has a lot of reasons to say this of course - to not let wolfwood's sacrifice go to waste, for example. but if we're thinking of the cross as responsibility, then vash is saying he doesn't want to forget the lessons he learned because of wolfwood. wolfwood has always grappled with responsibility, with what the right thing to do is. and the right thing is often not easy. vash hopes that when the times comes for him to make a choice, he'll make a good one, one that does right by wolfwood's memory.

[hikennosabo]

trimax vol 10 random thoughts (ch 5-8)

part 1 here.

okay, time for part 2. i don't want to do this, i have a pit in my stomach.

chapter 5:

destroying razlo's punishers... a good strategy!

getting leverage to jump by stepping on his leg, i love it

you could say he. he was. *wheeze*... i guess you could say he was... ...disarmed... [a comically large hook drags me off the stage]

wolfwood and razlo just met today (not technically but y'know), but he can read razlo so well already, taunting him like this.

THIS FIGHT...!!! it's reminding me of vash vs knives in the finale of the 98 anime! one black gun and one white gun, and them being on even ground, making the same moves...

they're an even match when they're just whaling on each other, but wolfwood has tactics that razlo doesn't. also this is an insanely cool move.

chapter 6:

^ how it feels to read trigun maximum (said again)

^ how it feels to read trigun maximum (said for a third time)

he knows wolfwood is dying. we know wolfwood is dying. he can't do anything to stop it. we can't do anything to stop it. (except for refusing to keep turning the pages, i guess)

THEY HAVE NAMES?

vash can't do anything to stop wolfwood from dying, but he can help wolfwood go out on his own terms...

PLEASE, HE'S ALREADY DYING, WE DON'T NEED YET ANOTHER DEATH FAKEOUT FOR THE BOOKS.

livio interfering... i'm not an expert but this is not how DID works. but sure. the drama carries it.

WHY AND HOW IS CHAPEL STILL ALIVE FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU

razlo realizes very fast that chapel never cared. despite his verbal denial, i think he was realizing way before this.

DESERVED!!! YES.... KILL!!!!!!

of course razlo can only attack. attack, like how he killed livio's parents. not that chapel doesn't deserve it, but this is the only thing razlo knows how to do.

ough. livio apologizing... "i'm okay now"...

so is razlo just gone now? like i said, i'm not a DID expert, i know re-integration(? not sure if that's the correct term sorry) is possible, but i don't know if this is how it works...

honestly, i feel bad for razlo. he only knew a life of violence, he was manipulated and indoctrinated by chapel, all he wanted was to be needed but his last experiences are finding out that chapel didn't care about him and then livio telling him he doesn't need him anymore. poor guy.

chapter 7:

oh, no, i don't want to read this chapter again. don't make me read this chapter again.

the difference between this and tristamp... stamp had the orphanage much more directly tied to EoM, and a bunch of guys in suits came to pick wolfwood up. this scene is a lot more "normal," a lot less obviously suspicious. idk if i'd go so far as to say stamp!melanie was in on the whole thing, but she doesn't look happy about wolfwood leaving... i do wonder how stampede will handle all this... ANYWAY!

"six years"... lmao. now i understand what people meant when they said the timeline is confusing. it's killing me and i hate it, actually?! nightow ALL you had to do was NOT specify a number!!!

the coins... i constantly forget about them and i find it funny whenever they're brought up... they were so clearly meant to set the ghg up as a shonen battle enemy-of-the-month type thing but then that got thrown off the rails when the magazine ceased publication and everything got turned upside down. yet the coins persist. what are they all for in the end.

also i'm sad. this is wolfwood's paltry attempt at pushing vash away. (also he's been carrying rai-dei's coin this whole time?! lol?! that's also sad... just waiting to give it to vash i guess...)

"this is the way you want it? are you sure?" i'm just fucking inconsolable at this point.

of course this attempt at sincere emotion is deflected. you boys are so, so, so, so, so stupid.

i can't do this man. i can't review the couch scene. i'm crying too much.

the prayer. this especially is getting to me. we've seen wolfwood pray a few times, but now it's vash's turn to pray. we've never seen him do that. and while vash was there to answer wolfwood's prayer... there is no one to answer vash.

what if i climbed into the microwave right fucking now.

ourgh. out of all the images in this chapter, this is the one that stuck with me the most. even more than the couch images. ugh, i can't even fucking write.

chapter 8:

i don't know where else to say this...? lol but livio's personality is different, he's cute now. is this because he broke out of the EoM brainwashing or because he integrated with(???) razlo? (once again: IS this how this works???) or is it both? either way he's a lot more expressive than he was before...

other people have already talked about how we didn't see the burial. i'm also thinking about everything else we didn't see. vash buried wolfwood, and he also cleaned up outside, brought livio in and laid him down, gathered ingredients and started cooking...

how long did he sit on that couch for before he moved. how much and how hard did he cry. we didn't see that either. we don't need to.

knives. he's smearing blood on his face again.

his laughter... i don't think he finds this funny like "haha funny" necessarily, i think he's just losing it.

vash defends the orphanage and knives doesn't even push it. he just moves on. hmm, i'm trying to articulate this... vash's display of power used up more of his life, which knives noticed obviously, and vash is willing to go that far to protect the orphanage... knives still doesn't want vash to die, and... he's laughing out of disbelief, or something like that. i don't know.

vash and livio sharing a meal together is... it's nice. but vash is still clearly very angry. with livio, with razlo, with himself too probably.

i don't know. i'm not angry with livio or razlo at all. they were both victims of chapel same as wolfwood. this is all chapel's fault in my mind, lol.

oh.

we're gonna see this in stampede too, aren't we. wolfwood will die for a third time and we're gonna see vash holding the punisher.

the fact that this volume doesn't even have the goofy author extra... we're just forced to sit with this. man. the book club wasn't kidding, it's so much worse the second time around. the first time i cried a little but i was mostly just taking it all in. the second time i was like actually heaving and sobbing. reading this volume twice within a few days was a BAD IDEA.

AND WE STILL HAVE FOUR VOLUMES LEFT. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GO ON AFTER THIS. four entire volumes without wolfwood...

[iwritenarrativesandstuff]

Trimax Thoughts Vol. 13 Pt. 2

Alright, here's chapters 6 to 9. Feeling a bit worried about this situation. Like. All of it.

Yeah this is very similar to the sudden fear Wolfwood was gripped by when he tried to shoot Knives. Elendira has some Plant-like abilities? How?

"And that just isn't enough to scare me." <- Me when I lie. I think she looked plenty nervous earlier. In fact, her being so ridiculously powerful, combined with what seems to be full pessimism over the state of the world and people, and that momentary fear at a lack of control reminds me a lot of... well, Knives.

The VIAL! AAAAA

Ohh this conversation between Livio and Razlo... :') They're working together!!!

They got a hit! They got a hit on her!

Oh... oh no......

I have a lot of feelings about Livio and Razlo. Razlo tries to get Livio to stop pushing himself so hard by reminding him that it's not just his body (so Livio isn't only hurting himself) but that's half the problem. The EoM has already given a Punisher to Razlo, but not to Livio, and he feels lacking in terms of strength. Razlo, who only sees the world in terms of who's stronger, cannot refute this, really - but it clearly bothers him immensely. I mean, the whole point of going to the EoM in the first place was, ostensibly, to make it so they had a place to belong and could defend themselves. But where Razlo excelled, Livio still felt he had to struggle... man, they're both really fascinating.

Elendira, hearing only one side to this conversation: "What the fuck...?"

Eye switch!!! It's Razlo with the left and Livio with the right this time!

Elendira, beloved, who hurt you... I want to know more about youuuu

A A A A A A A A AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

:( (Is it bad that I'm kind of upset that she died?)

*pained noises*

So Legato can sense her death??? What is with these two? Why do they have such strange powers?

Vash is in automatic defense mode...

:(

God if Legato hadn't been there, Knives might've straight up fucking died at July. Man. Man.

Oh fuck OFF Knives come on.

HHHHHHHH.

A memory of him lives within all the Plants... :')

Oof Chronica is out for blood.

This tiny Meryl makes me so happy in ways I cannot explain. Ahhh be careful girls...

This is so cute! (hgjdhfbvjsdbfh Meryl...)

"That's why I believe in him." ...Meryl... :')

Whoaaaaa this is a great panel

It all wraps up in the next volume! Somehow...!

[braceletofteeth]

Even though it sure looks like he is sometimes, let's take into consideration that Moonjo is not omnipresent/omniscient, and couldn't have known that the guy Kihyuk was killing was a detective, or that Jongwoo had been talking to said detective and Kihyuk was planning to kill him before Jongwoo could become trouble as well.

So, that's what Moonjo saw: Kihyuk fighting another guy inside a car. The scenario is not so bad now, although remains the fact that anyone could walk into the scene and see it. It was very reckless of him. But would that be enough to make Moonjo want him dead, unless he had no more use for him/had already intended to kill him for other reason(s)?

Taking the gift box full of anaesthetics he brought with him into account, he probably had the intention of doing it that night (unless he was just moving it into the residence because... uh... he didn't keep them there?). The only person he killed that night was Kihyuk, so they were most probably intended for him (I don't know why there were so many though... Maybe, if he was already taking one, why not all, just in case?)

Further evidence of Moonjo's intentions is the fact that Kihyuk wasn't aware of what exactly were Moonjo's plans for Jongwoo. Otherwise, he wouldn't be thinking of killing him already in his second night at the residence, before Moonjo could even meet him (unless he WAS aware and was jealous of it, but I believe it's more likely that Moonjo didn't think it was important for him to know/didn't trust his reaction to it).

The main question remaining now is why he wanted Kihyuk dead.

If I'd have to guess, I'd say... Because he was getting out of control? Remember how Moonjo said "Why did you do this without permission? We have our rules", and how he would feel defied every time the other residents would do whatever they wanted without consulting him (Ms. Eom with the pink lady) or would not obey his orders (both the twins)? Doing things without Moonjo's approval was an act of rebellion (by Moonjo's point of view, of course—I believe Kihyuk was looking for approval but took the wrong turn). Deukjeong also died because he defied his authority later on. Ms. Eom would have, too, if he didn't need her (he did need her, because how would he keep Jongwoo in a residence without the owner of it? He couldn't get rid of everybody, or his play wouldn't work out; he needed the stage and the side characters—everything orchestrated to get what he wanted in the end, which was Jongwoo's transformation).

Kihyuk was feeling powerful. Too powerful. Moonjo had put him in charge while he was away, didn't he? (Just remember how he was bossing Deuksoo around with orders and punishments). He was almost replacing Moonjo's presence with his (undeservingly, if we consider what Moonjo said about him being a failure). Let's be honest. There is no necessity of two people playing the same role in a play. One of them had to go, and in that moment we saw that Moonjo was coming back, so that would be Kihyuk.

In conclusion, Kihyuk was not Jongwoo's replacement until Moonjo finally found The One. Kihyuk was Moonjo's replacement, to deal with the most boring stuff—but only while he was away, and only temporarily.

now i’m just sitting here thinking about what would have happened if kihyuk had handled the situation with that detective in a way moonjo had deemed acceptable. 

obviously moonjo saw jongwoo as The One™ and began working on him instead, but now i’m fantasizing about whether he would have let kihyuk live after that or not. would he have become another disposable pawn like everyone else in the residence? or would moonjo have killed him anyway?

imagine the jealousy if he’d been allowed to live holy shit