#at some point i will update this with details of my very specific and beloved tagging system but today is not that day

[sportsthoughts]

liveblogging most weekday pens games under the tag #pens lb so feel free to block the tag if that's not your thing

you can find my gifs here

always keen to chat as I would love to know more of you (especially if you’re a fellow european hockey fan watching games in the middle of the night) - feel free to drop me a message

F1 liveblogging over at @vroomlive during the season

[pillowspace]

hi! you write ur stuff on ao3 (or at least yk.. put it there) and my question is: how. I've been wanting to write n stuff for a little while but I do Not know how to use ao3. like to the point I don't even know how to use the searches n stuff. I just click links on Tumblr and go "this is great" and hit the little button at the bottom of the page. I know absolutely Nothing about this site and I Don't know how to learn

I'm good with navigation, but I am very bad at posting. I literally accidentally made 19 drafts of the last CSD chapter I posted and had to delete them one by one. So! I'll explain navigation, and if you have a specific question on posting, I can help with that. But uh, I'm better with navigation for broad advice:

You can search by "last updated," and sometimes I do do that. But what I tend to do is I go into a fandom's tag, go into filters, and sort by "Bookmarks"

From here, you're already mostly safe to read the most beloved works if you don't have something specific you want in mind. But let's say... you suddenly really want fics with modern themes, but you don't know the tags for that. Scroll to "Other tags to include," type in "modern," and watch for what tags appear.

Okay! Cool! I want Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, so I'll press that. BUT WAIT. I want fics that don't take place in a university! What do I do?

Scroll down to "Other tags to exclude" and follow that same logic

Oh, huh... I'm not interested in smut or graphic gore... what now? Perhaps I should open "Ratings" under "Exclude" and hit "Explicit"

Extra information. Relationships tags with PersonA/PersonB with a / are romantic. PersonA & PersonB with an & are platonic

So you're good to go with this alone. Buuuuut, let's say you want some more details.

I'm tired tonight, so I'd like to read a completed work that's under 20,000 words. Here's how I'd do that, opening Word Count and Completion Status under More Options

AND THEN

There's "More Options." Even I don't have this fully down, but this can be useful if you ever need it.

So let's say, you want fluff and whump fics to come up in your search. Either or. Fics that are just fluff, alongside fics that are just whumps, alongside fics that are fluff and whumps. You would type in "fluff OR whump". Caps lock OR

But wait! This whole time, you've actually been looking for a fic you forgot the name of! But you recall that in its description, it had the words "the trees stood tall." How would you search for that? Well, put that into quotation marks. It will search for those words in that exact order.

You can combine this with OR. Like...

"the trees stood tall" OR "the meadows were golden"

Also, adding a * onto a word will... ah, I don't know how to describe this. Let's say you put in app*. Your search will bring up fics containing the words app, apples, applies, applicable, appliance, etc. Words that start with app

And maybe

Just maybe

You're asking because of the DCA, and I have a complex DCA + reader/oc search I wrote up already saved that I can link to anyone

[tekutiger]

There's something I've been wanting to post here for about a week now, but I've been putting it off, waiting for the Dawntrail Benchmark to release. (That can be found here btw: https://na.finalfantasyxiv.com/lodestone/topics/detail/ffe3a1a5430a5a8168ca9782ab9ec0e57cd5be62)

On the official Square Enix forums (both English and Japanese), there is an entire thread for the Graphical Update Viera Noses. Our communities are not exactly thrilled with the changes, to say the least.

The (current) last page of the English thread can be found here: https://forum.square-enix.com/ffxiv/threads/493947-Graphical-Update-Viera-Nose/page19

The first page of the English thread can be found here: (or you can just go to the link above, scroll to the bottom and click "First") https://forum.square-enix.com/ffxiv/threads/493947-Graphical-Update-Viera-Nose

I tried checking here on Tumblr if this had been posted already but the FFXIV tags are spammed so much 🫠

The Japanese thread link is within the EN thread somewhere, I forget which page.

If you play a Viera, you've probably noticed that your beloved WoL doesn't quite look the same- specifically the nose, and to a lesser extent with their eyes.

That's all pointed out and discussed in the thread. And yes, I did voice my opinion to it 🙃

I'm trying to find some comparison screenies of my bunboi and fembun to contribute here.

The thing I was worried about, and still kind of am even after going through the benchmark- is the strange "shine" you see on bunboi's noses in certain areas, or at random times. I couldn't find any rhyme or reason to why or when this would happen 🤷🏻‍♀️

We were also shown a preview of bunboi's with their nose like 7 shades darker than their skin tone and that didn't sit well with me. Between that and the shine? No. Just no.

This is current graphics 👆🏻

Another thing I noticed in the benchmark is that they removed the colored eyelashes from Face 1 (the face I'm using on my bunboi). It's literally like, 1 of the 2 primary reasons I chose this face to begin with. (They usually match your hair color.)

Dawntrail Benchmarker 👆🏻

You can see some of this "so called shine" in some of these, but it's not as bad as I thought it'd be originally. I guess I can live with it and over time I'll probably get used to it.

I can probably even get over the fact that his white eyelashes are gone, though I'll miss them. I don't know... 😖

I do appreciate the updated quality of the hair, and the iris/eyes, and his facial feathers. I also like that the added "lip color" I gave him appears to be matte and not a gloss, but I'm not sure how other people will like that, lol.

ALSO. There's a very specific scene in the benchmarker that shows your WoL's face so much better but for some strange stupid reason you cannot take screenies during it. I feel like SE really let the ball slip there.

There's probably a reason for it, and then again there might not be- because if I really wanted to, there are loop holes and I could still get those screenshots if I had more time, Lol 😅

Current graphics 👆🏻

I don't have a plethora of screenshots of my fembun like I do of my bunboi- but looking at my fembun specifically I'm realizing her bunny nose doesn't seem that prominent, even now? I guess I thought it was defined more 🤔. Perhaps it's the lighting of this specific shot.

I was going through this phase of changing her hair color from red to yin yang colors, back to red, back to yin yang, rinse & repeat, so...

Dawntrail Benchmarker 👆🏻

Again, I appreciate the high quality in the iris/eyes, hair, facial features- like her tattoos.

It does seem like the highlights in her eyes get a little lost, if that makes sense? The anime type white reflection. Not just for her but for my bunboi too. I think that goes for all character now- I've seen this commented about all across Twitter (yeah I know it's called X, but I'll never call it X).

Her bunny nose seems to disappear in many scenes and then it "seems" to be there in some scenes. I don't know what to make of it.

I feel so wishy washy with this graphics update. There are parts I like and parts I dislike. At this point I'm wondering if it's that whole mentality of "People dislike change" / "People fear the unknown" and over time we'll get used to it.

But also, I've seen some comparisons of people's characters and the overall appearance, the overall vibe of their character has totally shifted. It's understandable they're upset.

I want to offer a couple of pieces of advice here. If you have any commentary to add about Vieras (or any other characters really- like moon kitties got royally shafted on their fangs)- please visit that thread and put your two cents in. Hopefully SE will see it and potentially listen to the community feedback. But in the case of Moon kitties, there's likely a respective thread for them so you'll have to seek out that thread.

The other thing is, take advantage of this benchmarker in tandem with our free fantasia (coming soon). I feel the character creation screen does not properly display what our characters are going to look like once ingame. Do not take the character creation screen at face value. Create and/or modify your character in the benchmarker (you can save your character data). Play it out- make sure you're happy with how they look in the benchmarker. Then go on and use that fantasia. You can load the saved data from the benchmarker into the real game. (unless they changed things, which I highly doubt)

Edit: Adding in some links to other threads ⤵️ (Its been mentioned by others that it's best to keep posts pooled in one thread vs. spread sporadically out across several threads. If SE or Mods are likely to read anything, it's going to be in one centralized large thread.)

Thread: [Dawntrail] Miqo'te face 4 Keeper nose smudge nerfed

Thread: Benchmark/Graphics Update - Lip shape concern and eyes

Thread: Keeper fangs nerfed in the update

[gregorygerwitz]

Hi Alex, I'm here to ask you about your pirate novel, both some logistics and world building questions, I hope it's not too much!

Are you planning to traditionally publish or self publish or something else?

How does marriage on the open sea differ in this world from marriage on land?

For you, what's the difference in the story with predetermined characters to fleshing out your own?

How did you select their names? I know one was put into a poll, what about the others?

I'd love to know more about the villain of the story! Is there anything you want to share about them?

Hello hello hello!

I am kicking my feet and twirling my hair thank you so much for these! This is gonna get long, I can feel it, so most of it will be under a read more, but I'm gonna have a lot of fun with all of them! 💜

Are you planning to traditionally publish or self publish or something else?

I have no idea. I have a friend who is a published author who I'm gonna ask about their experiences. I'm just not rushed to make a decision on that yet because the novel itself is nowhere near done. I'll definitely post about it here when I have updates tho!

How does marriage on the open sea differ in this world from marriage on land?

I've actually answered this one before! It's one of my favorite details about this universe I've built, so it's very fleshed out.

For you, what's the difference in the story with predetermined characters to fleshing out your own?

I mean... this idea started as a fic! It's literally Moustead fanfiction, I just changed the names and I'm writing it into a novel instead, because I really, really love this story I've created. So, these characters were basically already fleshed out for me. However, because it's an AU that's so wildly different from the canon it's based on, I ended up creating my own characters anyway. I like AUs, so this is just the normal process for me, at this point.

How did you select their names? I know one was put into a poll, what about the others?

So, each of the names I chose for the main four are pretty specifically chosen? Like, Elliot is literally just... he was Knox already, and that's a name I can get away with keeping. For the Mouse character, I knew I could keep the nickname or Gregory, but I probably shouldn't keep both because of copyright issues, so I went with my headcanon for Mouse's middle name, Sebastian. Evelyn was the one that went to a poll, because I loved too many names when I was researching and simply couldn't decide. And the last character that got a name was Robert - he's named after my grandfather, who I lost back in October. He was always one of my biggest supporters when I would come up with stories as a kid, so I wanted his (middle) name in there somewhere, and I'm already planning on dedicating the book to him when it's done.

I'd love to know more about the villain of the story! Is there anything you want to share about them?

Elliot my beloved. Does he suck? Yes. Is he the villain? Yeah. Is he quite frankly the worst person in the book, morally? For sure. But did I give him way more depth than the CPD writers gave Knox and actually give him a logical reason for his actions in a way that, from the perspective of his crew, it all seems completely justified? YEAH. I love him. I gave him trauma and I think about him regularly.

[carica-ficus]

“Fourth Wing”

26/12/2023

Reading progress: 498/498 (100%) Read through since last update: 152

It was a little harder for me to read through the rest of this book today. I think I was a little fed up by it. (And reading started feeling somewhat like a chore, since I could get out of bed now and had the energy to find different entertainment - ToTK my beloved.)

Final thoughts:

She asks Xaden about his scars, acknowledges he's private about them, and then she's surprised he doesn't want to tell her? That's such a personal question. Very invasive. If he wanted to talk about it with her, it's on him to start the subject. Ugh, I hate this trope in fiction when the person that doesn't talk about their trauma is painted as paranoid or mistrustful. Just leave the poor guy alone.

"Shit, am I flirting?" Girl, you've literally hooked up twice till now. For all I care, he's your boyfriend now.

"When did I ever give you the impression that I give a fuck what people think about me?" Literally a page ago, when you said that you don't want a saddle because others would think of you as weak.

They're seriously teasing about kissing again as if they both don't want it, as if they aren't flirting on every page, as if they haven't almost fucked.

It's kinda disappointing that Violet has lightning powers. Naolin had the power to heal. Hell, he almost resurrected Brennan, which is incredible. Impossible even. I feel like lightning should fall under elemental wielding, in the same category as water or fire, which Violet mentions are fairly common. I don't know... I expected something cooler. (Future me: At least it turned out to be pretty cool to use. So ok, I'm going back to half of what I said, but I'm gonna stand by the fact that this power seems barely insignificant compared to some of the others.)

OH MY GOD YARROS REMOVED LIAM SO HE DOESN'T HAVE TO HEAR THEM FUCK

Ingenious. Ok. Slay. She saved that boy.

I KNEW THEY WERE GONNA MENTION SOME MAGICAL CONTRACEPTIVE WHILE THEY WERE DOING IT.

Kudos to the sex scene! It was pretty good. A little too much needless dirty talk, but I've read much, much worse. It's in line with all the tension that's been built up between them, it's hot enough and of a decent length (6ish pages? That's a lot). So yeah. Thumbs up. 👍

But why does Violet have to end it with talk of his scars? 😩 Now they're talking about war crimes after fucking.

(I really don't like when characters are pushy about somebody's scars and trauma. Not even your partner owes you an explanation of their past. It is up to them to share it if they want.)

Being horny makes her strike lightning? 😭😭😭 I need this book to STOP.

The first time a specific year gets mentioned is at page 431. Four hundred thirty fucking one. And its introduced as AU (after unification). What unification? Why should I care about this unit of measurement now? Especially considering it's not gonna be mentioned again??? (Future me: I was right. It was, in fact, not mentioned again.)

Yeah. I was just waiting for the whole gryphon army to finally approach Xaden and the other separatists. It would have been a good plot point if there was any build up on the politics behind the war, but there was none, so I feel very indifferent to this revelation.

CANNOT believe Yarros decided to INFO-DUMP such a stupid little detail like the name of gryphon fliers while Violet was literally ready to murder Xaden.

Violet knows, she KNOWS Dain can read minds. How could she forget a power like that? How could she forget that her best friend is able to read her mind every time he touches her face??? That's a really big invasion of privacy. And she caught it once and slipped away from him. Every normal person would have never trusted him again. And now she's surprised he's been doing it the whole time???

Not Liam! 😭😭

That last battle was pretty exhilarating, but I got lost in the number of venin and wyvern more than once. Still, Violets final attack was really cool.

So Violet almost does, miraculously wakes up, sees Xaden by her bed and kisses him, and the only thing Xaden thinks about how lucky he is that he'll get to fuck her again. And they say romance is dead.

No, fuck. I can't stop thinking about this. Fuck the ending. I knew Brennan was alive. I spoiled half the book to myself before I read it. It's fine. But the fact that Xaden is so thirsty for Violet that he only thinks about sex when she wakes up, after she has been unconscious from a life threatening injury, just left me so shocked that I can't get pass it. I can't ignore it. It's just so sickening. I don't know how else to describe it. Almost predatory. Disgusting. Absolutely disgusting.

And I'm done. 2am. I'm shocked with the ending, but not with the part most people were. I can't get over Xaden's reaction to Violet. I simply can't. This book is very horny. I don't particularly care. I don't mind erotic content or erotica in general. They're not always my genre of choice, but I won't stray away from them if I'm interested. And even though I don't read it very often, I do love romance. And I do love fantasy. And I love dragons. This book has been a general disappointment on all these account. And I'm just frustrated because I truly, wholeheartedly did want it to be good and to be interesting. I really believed that it couldn't be that bad. But it is. It really truly is. And it's so sad. And I'm so disappointed...

[leiakenobi]

1, 6 (for clipped wings, mayhaps? It's been on my brain lately), and 8 for the fic writers asks?

questions for fic writers

1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)

Okay so I literally have a collection on AO3 that I try to keep updated of what I think some of my best fics are, but I have such a hard time narrowing it down (both because I love a lot of them and because unfortunately I look at most of my stuff that's more than a year old and start to get very nitpicky about the flaws). If I had to just pick one thing on that list, I think I might actually go with "Dead-Red"? I think it's a real tight fic and funny as hell. As niche as it is in some ways, I also think it's the most accessible to the widest audience in terms of like. it showing off what I can do with character voices and pacing, etc. This is in contrast to some of my runners up—my beloved "a shallow creek that runs too deep" is my pride and joy but particularly because of how it translates Rey and Poe over to such a drastically different setting, and I would gladly show off "There And Back Again" but I love it because of how well I managed to capture the tone of the show. When it comes down to it most of my writing just feels too specific to serve as a good all-encompassing intro.

6. What’s one fact about the universe of [insert fic] that you didn’t get a chance to mention in the fic itself?

Look we both know that I develop so many little details for fics that don't go on the page but for some reason the only thing that's coming to mind right now is that after Poe and Rey got together, Luke started to make more of a point to work on concealing their thoughts from each other because uh sometimes he picked up on some things that he did not want to know.

8. What song would make a great fic (to either write or read)?

We all know that Hozier is a staple for fic writers so I'm sure this song has already been inspo for plenty of fics but I would love to find the right trajectory for a "Through Me (The Flood)" fic. (For example I stand by the statement that it's very Obi-Wan coded.)

[silverutahraptor]

4, 5 and 19 for don't trust them brother if that's alright?

Of course it is, dear anon! (for the recent fic writer ask game)

Ah, don't trust them, brother (oh, but look at me now), my Uchiha Izuna In Canon Forwards Timetravel fic. Beloved longfic monster of my heart ❤️ NOT abandoned—NEVER—my adhd brain is just very prone to wandering off for longer amounts of time...

4. What detail in [insert fic] are you really proud of?

The Crow summons. I love them so much. They were so much fun to come up with and I spend a LOT of time on their names and abilities, and I'm utterly in love with the boss summon Miu and also their home tree.

I'm also really proud of the details on how Izuna actually ended up in the future the way he did—it makes so much sense in itself and is SO NEAT and ties various themes together—but that is a major spoiler for future chapters soooooo I can't tell you ;) I'm still very proud of it though.

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [insert fic]? Answer it now!

Huh, this one's hard! Hmm. Don't ask me about my writing process or updates 🙃 Not but for real this one is a bit open for me, I'm sorry, my mind is drawing a blank here. Feel free to ask something else??

19. If you wrote a spin-off of [insert fic], what would it involve?

...Okay, this is slightly cheating, but I do have a spin-off for dttb already: what a curse (to not have these eyes), which is set in the dttb!verse but with backwards time travel, meaning that dttb!Izuna (more specifically, an Izuna slightly into the future of where the main fic is at currently) wakes up back in the past with his memories of the future. It's looking a bit bleak at the moment, but I do actually have a follow-up/second chapter for that nearly ready to go! Yay!

A potential spin-off I might let my bff ghostwrite for me is actual explicit Izuna/Kakashi smut... ;D

Another is dttb!Izuna from POVs that aren't Izuna because that would straight up be hilarious. Fun POVs for this would be Itachi, Hiruzen, Orochimaru, and of course Danzou.

Further spin-off ideas I might or might not have toyed around with at some point... well, these aren't so much spin-offs as AU versions, but I think I considered Izuna waking up in Suna at some point? Which would have featured a Gaara Adoption Arc, probably. Another option for Izuna in canon time would've been via Orochimaru experiments (probably trying to revive Madara and got Izuna instead), and that would've also had a resurrected Kushina according to my notes. Fun times.

[thatonegayship]

Oh my GOSH, the way I was on the edge of my fucking seat when I read this.

Okay, so I got the notification while I was at work and didn't get to sit down and soak up all the yummy hurt/comfort until like, 11 o'clock at night, and at that point I was hanging on for dear life to get through this sexy update, so of course I made sure to read it again the next morning. I've got my notes with me and much speculation as to what might happen next, as well as varying degrees of delusion fueling my headcanons.

To my beloved Male-Wife-Wife-Male, whom I'd give the seas for, the loving rays of twilight breathing softly upon my cheeks, a sparrow's wounded wing, tended to by the many makeshifts of a fae's toolbox, an evening with you is worth a lifetime without. I pray this letter finds you in good health.

Coming out the gates absolutely SWINGING with this one, are we? The scene sets with Dipper frantically trying to summon Bill directly after fucking his own shit to hell. Some things never change, I guess <3 Immediately in love with the implication, since we already know from context that Dipper was one of the few (if not only) members who didn't really believe in Bill with his entire heart - Didn't think he was real, didn't think he was all-knowing, whatever the specifics.

Which makes it even BETTER to open with him clinging to the hope that performing this ritual will call Bill, and Bill will protect him from the demons chasing after him. It gives this almost ironic flip to his old ideas. He knows Bill is real now, and he thinks he's all-knowing, all-powerful, only because that first fact was confirmed. Where before, he might look for something to defend himself with, even being cornered by the enemy, now he's dissolved entirely into the role of Faithful Servant and tries desperately to conform to his old teachings. He's rolling his eyes and hating every minute, but when Bill does show up, does scare the demons away, it only confirms what the cult told him the first time.

I'm probably reading too much into it, but I love to think that Bill's saving him from the blood ritual in turn solidified a bit of what the priest tried hammering into his head for so long. Bill being real isn't enough to verify the outrageous texts and bad-faith rules set by the cult, but it exists as that bit of lingering proof; well, if that part was true, then how could the rest not be?

(Throwing this in as maybe a cute idea, but do you think it's possible for Dipper to talk to Bill through prayer? As in, instead of writing on his board, or on a piece of paper, he lights a few candles and starts speaking telepathically. Because of their deal back in Faking It, I'm guessing it only works one way; Bill can't step into Dipper's head with a response or start things up with a prayer of his own - not that that'd work, with or without the deal. It's not super good on his knees, and he's not gonna light a thing of candles every time he wants Bill to pass him the remote, but I imagine the few times Bill's gotten so caught up in his own emotions, doesn't notice Dipper trying to shove that whiteboard in his face, and out of frustration he turns to the only other way he knows how to communicate.

It'd make for a semi-effective attention grabber, not to mention his prayer voice sounds like how he remembers his voice sounding, up until his tongue was cut out. Bill surely likes that last detail. Only downside to the whole thing is if Dipper's mind starts wondering, mid-prayer, and ends up sending Bill more than he means to, sort of like if he butt dialed his crush while gushing over how handsome and unobtainable they are to a friend. Very important to avoid those thoughts around your god.)

Love the little breadcrumbs of lore we get about their whole reincarnation deal too, at least how I was reading it. How Dipper's room feels so, so cozy to him. This could be from Bill putting in the elbow grease to create a room safe and comfortable for his poor, traumatized husband, whom he knows so well (LOVE that for him), but I'm equally allured to the idea that the 'guestroom' he's staying in feels so cozy to him because his past lives made it that way. If Dipper prime, and every Dipper proceeding him used that room, chose the wall color, renovated the floors, changed the lighting, tested the mattress, stocked the shelves with magic books - then of course cult Dipper's gonna feel at home!

This idea kind of falls apart when Bill comments on how he hasn't 'settled in' or 'redecorated,' suggesting it hasn't been molded by Dipper's presence, or been given a distinct personality yet, but I suspect Dippers with different life experiences are prone to throwing different flavors in the pot, in terms of decoration. A sailor reincarnation might pick a charming glass-bottle ship on his dresser, as opposed to a botanist reincarnation, who'd want potted plants. Even then, they'd both still agree on some shade of blue, and know with certainty that letting Bill anywhere near it would break it. It's possible that Bill just meant that this Dipper hadn't moved things around to reflect more of him, in the way that he differs from the others. Also him, but not entirely.

The way Bill carries himself around Dipper is akin to someone who's owned their fair share of pets in the past. Not like he sees Dipper as a pet, but he knows what not to do when getting him assimilated to his new home. It's so gosh darn cute, reading the ways he tries to make him feel comfortable, even when it's obvious he wants to fast forward to the good part already. I can't imagine how many reincarnations he had to go through before finally learning an inkling of patience. You're telling me Bill brought this cute little mortal to his big, scary lair, gave him his own room, a separate bathroom, a kitchen, a living room, and never once intruded on his space? For a whole week? That's character growth.

The Bill I know would've immediately invaded his personal space and vied for attention until a vase got thrown at his head, and even then, he'd make some corny joke about his aim before falling unconscious. The fact that we get lines like 'not quite looming' should say enough. Bill's had his fair share of scruffy husbands, and he grasps the radical circumstances of Cult Dipper's background. He just rescued a heavily abused, battered and abandoned puppy from the Puppy Killing Factory, and regardless of how much he wants to get around to fetching sticks and wrestling bunny slippers out of his mouth, he knows to take things slow, and at least try to give him some space. And he does!

For a while.

Bill at least realizes that goading him on isn't going to get the desired response, not with Dipper's head all screwed up. Dangling his journal overhead had him kneeling, and begging, and - ugh - worshipping him. That's a script-flipper! I know damn-well in any other context, Bill would've been absolutely over the moon seeing him like that. A much younger, naiver Bill would probably buff his nails and strike a power pose, ask him to kiss the ground he walks on, before reading and burning every page. Pre-Dipper, I mean. Post-Dipper's done some backwards things to his psyche, so much so that he actually looks disgusted at Dipper's choice to kowtow.

Bill Cipher, the all-powerful, all-knowing, revered god of chaos and madness, sees Dipper as an equal. He doesn't want worship. He wants community. He wants to be called a bastard, and a jackass, and an asshole, and get punched in the face when he crosses a line with him. It means nothing to hold power over someone you love and respect, because he does love and respect him, and knowing he's been broken into this meek, seen-not-heard shadow of a person does nothing for his ego, as opposed to before, when he would've basked in the worship. I just love how what Dipper thinks directly contradicts how Bill feels throughout the story. That he has no idea his presence changes Bill. It's so goddamn wonderful.

(Also, side note: What was in that journal? Clearly, not a journal in the same way journal #3 is a journal, more-likely a diary that Dipper calls 'journal' out of embarrassment. I imagine it's filled with the usual teen angst. Bodily changes, conflicting homosexual desires, waning faith in an unknowable deity, and of course, frantic, agonizing pages proceeding his de-tonguing. I'll try not to let my mind run too wild, but I can only imagine the things cooked up in there. Fear and self-loathing and isolation, followed by pages upon pages of scribbling panic.

Maybe, just maybe, a few feeble lines from when he tried communicating with people, who scolded him for losing his tongue in the first place, before shunning him entirely. I wouldn't be surprised if some pages were torn out - ones reflecting the cult, the priest. Things they said were his fault, and that started to feel like were, but god - couldn't be.

I'm overthinking it. It's probably filled with debauchery and impure thoughts, like handholding and a single, torn out page from an old, forbidden dictionary, reading:

Penis (noun): The male genital organ of higher vertebrates, carrying the duct for the transfer of sperm during copulation. In humans and most other mammals, it consists largely of erectile tissue and serves also for the elimination of urine.)

God, I can't even complain about their communication skills this time, Bill was on single-player mode and he hadn't the slightest idea because, womp womp, Dipper thought he already knew. It's no wonder he approaches Bill with his head bowed, hands clasped. He's been raised to believe his god sees everything, and proceeding his 'blasphemy,' the priest went on about Doing Bill's Will by extracting the serpent from its dark and unfortunate dwelling inside of Dipper. Oh, what a shame to witness the decent into sin, from such an innocent follower of the omnipotent Cipher. How the young do stray from truth, and all that other bullshit.

Thankfully, Bill's repeated disapproval of any attempt to 'Yes, my lord, of course, my lord' his way around his god tells him what he needs to know: That cult WAS full of shit. Bill never asked them to punish one, puny follower for a bit of lip. It was dogma force-fed by a self-appointed mouthpiece, who didn't know a damn thing about Bill aside from how many corners he had, and even that, he counted them, loud and slow, on his fingertips.

The fact that Dipper endured so much pain under the guise of righteousness and was punished only for saying what no one else bothered to think, is both vindicating, and soul crushing. To realize he was right must be so satisfying, but to realize the struggles he endured were then pointless - just torture at the hands of authority - is severely fucked up. I can't imagine the wave of emotions he must have felt once it became apparent his innocence was stolen away for the sake of upkeeping one big, cruel lie.

Slowly uncovering just how deep the damage goes makes some of his more subtle traits more obvious. The mini-Bill, for instance. Now, can I just say that I absolutely adore this premise? Dipper, all beaten and battered by the weight of the world, has this one solace that he holds so close, coming into his new life with no idea what to expect, and not a thing to protect him from it. Does his affection come just from it being soft, or is it the same as when he hid under Bill's bed, and felt weirdly safe? At the back of his mind, is there a part of him that holds onto the plushie because he recognizes it, not only as his god, but his dorky, dumb husband, who loves and protects him - when he's not putting him in danger? I feel like mini-Bill is a lot like the room, how it smells, and how it makes Dipper feel.

I suspect Dipper hangs onto it for more reasons than just being soft. This is an obvious trauma response. Holding onto that piece of his childhood longer than the other members, who found community in their delusion and felt seen under the all-seeing-eye. Dipper keeping mini-Bill is the same as any adult who still sleeps with their old baby blanket or never let go of that well-loved first toy; it's protection, and it's comfort, and it's assurance. It's reflective of the years he lost to the cult, and the innocence he subconsciously still clings to.

Referring back to my previous assumption, this could also explain the little ways Dipper reacts around Bill. Clutching his elbow as they walk down the hall, feeling calmed at the smell of his room. It's three parts reincarnations stuff, but I also feel it's something to do with association, that Bill's this larger, real version of the miniature he likes to snuggle up with. Is it possible that at the back of his brain, his dependance on nice, soft mini-Bill crosses some wires with scary, evil life-sized Bill, until he finds himself cozied up more than he should be?

God, I am never going to finish this post, Jesus Christ. Anyways, I am absolutely head over heels for the whiteboard scene. Poor Bill finally had that long-awaited conversation he's been waiting oh-so patiently for, and he rung it out until there was literally nothing left to ask. The fact that he asked such simple questions too is just such a nice touch. It reiterates that Bill's still just as obsessed with him as he's always been and wants to keep up to date with what might be different with this one, and what's still constant.

Maybe, he even plays a bit of trivia with himself! How Well Do You Know Your Husband: The Game. He is, of course, the reigning champion. Forty-two reincarnations and counting! It also tells me that he's absolutely desperate to get Dipper to talk, and he's willing to go as boring and uninteresting as he needs to. Not that anything about his lovely Pinetree isn't interesting, he's fascinating! The most wonderful anomaly known to man, and he's all Bill's.

To call it 'the longest conversation' Dipper's ever had tells us Bill either drug this out way too long, or literally no one in the cult gave him the time of day, ever. Maybe both! Either way, very sad. Poor guy has zero social skills, and only a literal demon to practice on. If he ever chooses to reenter society, I imagine he's going to be a Very Odd Boy.

I apologize for my thirst, but that WHOLE scene where Bill pries his mouth open with his thumb and traps his chin between his fingers has my fucking ovaries doing the cha-cha slide. I'm sorry, I know it's supposed to be this 'oh shit' moment. It was, just - not for the right reasons. Every night I pray God will put me down like a sickly dog in the streets, rabid for meats off the old wooden cart.

Bill going feral for his husband makes the blood in my body immediately rush to my head, causing my brain to explode in a symphony of gore. Any time Bill takes shit seriously leaves an impression on me; so often I forget not everything is within his control. He had no idea Dipper was hurt like this. He was completely blind-sided by it, and when the truth finally came forth, he couldn't handle it. It's no wonder Dipper coward at the sight, Bill must've made a terrifying image.

Breaking the walls, setting the floor on fire - wrecked at the thought of this ideocracy done in his steed. To think, the sort of thing he might laugh at, might revel, was done to Dipper, and he hated it. Anywhere else, I'd call this the first step in a long journey to self-evaluation, but we all know that's not his style. He's mortified, but he's far from changed by it. If anything, his mind works to concoct the most vile, torturous, unforgiving punishment he can inflict on whoever did this to his husband. It's an almost endearing reaction to Dipper's pains, but it's counterintuitive for what he'd been trying to achieve for so long: Make Dipper not intimidated. Great fucking job, chump-shit. The scared him the hell off.

Bill calling him by his first name hit me in the fucking guts. Yeah, you use that intimate title to emphasize your sincerity. Call out to him like a dirty, pathetic rat in a bucket, swimming aimlessly in circles. Just fucking pummel my heart in one word, two syllables, no rubber, fucking raw, 'til my eyeballs explode with tear cum. The first fucking time I can remember Bill calling Dipper by his first name was because he fucking died, are you telling me I'm not supposed to feel something at that? Get real, motherfucker, I'm in this.

Back at it again with the pet comparisons. I always have to keep my bedroom door closed while at my sister's house, because otherwise one of her three cats runs under my bed and refused to leave. I'm assuming this is exactly the same thing, complete with Bill tempting him out with tiny treats and toys he might like. I can't tell which idea I love more: That Bill doesn't yank him out by the back of his shirt because he knows it'll only make Dipper more afraid, or his big ol' shoulders just. Don't fit under the bed. I imagine if he considered scooting under and dragging him out, then he would've had no problem disappearing the bed, but I also think using physical force comes with a lot less implication to magical force. It's the difference between 'hey, I'm bigger and stronger, and making an executive decision on your behalf' and 'I can bend space and time, you have no say in the matter, and no way of escaping my power.' I don't know. Food for thought.

That whole sequence with mini-Bill was just - ugh. So cute. I'm sorry, yes, Bill's a big fat dork, and he'll gladly stoop to embarrassing levels if it means putting a smile on his scared husband's face. Just because it doesn't work doesn't mean he didn't win at least some-what. Come on! He looked at him! That's a cause for celebration! Bill was so, so close.

And when he does come out.

Oh, when he does.

Excuse me while I have a mental break down in the shower over this entire scene. Bill, you should know better than to tempt Dipper out of his safe spot with empty promises! He's been through enough, the poor little scruff is barely hanging onto his sanity, and now you wanna boop his nose and tell him he's just gonna have to figure it out on his own? Not cool, dude. He's been doing it scared this whole time, just chugging along the best he can. Don't go pulling the rug out from under him like that. I don't even wanna say you deserved getting punched in the face like that, 'cause we both know you enjoyed it more than you should have.

Only thing I'll give you credit for is the way you immediately took him by the shoulders and reiterated that you were not mad at him for what happened. And isn't it just so fucking sad that Dipper's been jacked enough in the head to expect unjust punishment? That he knew Bill was mad, and that it involved Dipper, and there was nothing else within range that he could've taken his anger out on, guilty or otherwise. Dipper knew it'd be unfair, but he wasn't working under the premise of Bill reacting rationally. He automatically assumed the penalty would fall on him, the cult's designated punching bag. Because what really was his rationale for Bill losing his marbles over it, anyways? Why did he think Bill was so upset by this? It didn't even cross his mind that Bill might be upset for him.

"It was never going to be okay."

Oh fuck, you're fucking killing me. And with Bill's arms around him, too. He feels so trapped in his own life, succumbing to the idea that things can't possibly get better for him. That somehow, he's only destined for suffering. It's even worse to imagine he's actually OUT of his bad situation, but carries with him the same flinching features, his scarred mouth and frightened eyes. That he's somewhere safe, but still, he looks over his shoulder, and feels the past breathing down his neck. I have nothing to say. I'm just thinking about it intensely.

PYSCHE BITCHES THAT HUG WAS BOMB DIGGETY AND IT FIXED EVERYTHING!!!!

jk again :') Only some things, but that is enough for now.

Dipper deserves to cry his eyeballs out on Bill's shoulder and leave nasty snot on his shirt for a million years, and Bill can keep up those gentle back rubs 'cause you know that poor baby needs them. Speaking of, notice how Dipper calls Bill weird for rubbing his back and doesn't fully register it as a hug until a good long while into it? Oh, that was NOT just some nerdy cluelessness, my boy has next to no familiarity with physical affection.

Just thinking back on it, Dipper can't remember the last time he was held. He didn't call Bill weird for hugging him, he called him weird for rubbing his back, because he didn't register it as a hug. He fucking forgot people rub each other's backs, because it's been that long for him. He literally thought Bill was just being weird. Jesus Christ. Please, please, please get this guy some proper touch, his skin's absolutely starving for it. I refuse to call this an over analysis, I'm right. I'm so right.

God, I'm SO close to the end of this. Lemme get my thoughts together. Let's see.

OH! Since we're over the emotional hill that is Dipper's entire fucking life, let's laugh Bill chucking in innuendo point-blank in Dipper's face without so much as a stutter in return. It hadn't occurred to me before, but damn. That is a LOT of power out of reach, now. Any Dipper even slightly more informed would've gone weak in the knees, maybe stumbled back into a wall, turned red as a tomato. This Dipper just looks confused.

Sad, but - also kind of useful! Bill's working with a fourth of his usual tricks; can't even insinuate a bit of hanky panky without going over the birds and the bees, first. Ugh, can you imagine Bill explaining the birds and the bees to poor ol' Dipper? He'd better do a damn good job if he wants things to move forward.

I'm assuming sex ed was pretty heavily frowned upon in Bill's cult, which kind of has me wondering whether Dipper was born there or abducted. Either way, the fact that he has no idea what Bill's talking about when he suggests getting under the sheets tells me the priest, and everyone else, failed him in sex ed. It'd be a miracle if Dipper even knows men can have sex with each other, and don't just lock their desires away in the janitor's closet of their heart. He's going to be absolutely floored when he learns the specifics.

(Giving myself another teeny tiny weeny whiny headcanon, since I'm so freaking special, but when Dipper starts getting over his whole Worship and Fear thing, I doubt it'll take long for him to register that Bill, despite being annoying, is also pretty... um. Attractive. He doesn't have words like 'hot' or 'sexy.' There's no vocabulary for when Bill whips off his shirt and Dipper gets a good look at his back muscles, or he comes out in nothing but a towel around his waist, or even winks at him, in a way that - for some reason - doesn't have him rolling his eyes. What does he call it when Bill combs a hand through his hair, lounging on the couch with his shirt half-buttoned up? Why, handsome, of course. Beautiful. Bill is so, so beautiful, isn't he? Dipper just wants to. Hold him. Very tightly.)

(Another one! Sorry, I'm speed running now, but another headcanon I have for this is that Bill's plans for revenge may or may not involve a bit of necromancy. So, the priest died bleeding out on the cult steps. So what? He's gonna bring that sucker back, again and again and again, until he finally gets bored and turns him into a living piece of furniture. This is what he wanted after all, right? To be with his god? How lucky he is!)

(Alright, last one. Say the whole re-tonguing thing takes a bit longer than a couple of hours, maybe some sewing. I think it'd be pretty dang cute for the two of them to learn some sign language. I'll bet Bill's already at least half-fluent in it, if not completely, and he'd be more than willing to teach Dipper if it means they can have conversations more efficiently now. He'd absolutely swoon at how quickly Dipper picks it up. Smart little guy <3)

Overall, it's clear Dipper's life proceeding this is going to be a tough adjustment, but not one he can't get through. He's already seen through the lies of the priest, and despite the many steps back, the hard part's over, and maybe he can finally let his guard down a bit *ahem* and fall in love *ahem.* Hmm? Who said that? Anyways, Bill's got his work cut out for him, making a new tongue that fits that spiteful little mouth, and I salute his valiant efforts.

WOOO! We've reached the end! I hope it's sufficient payment for all the magnificent work you've done thus far. You are, as always, an amazing person with a fantastic talent, and you have not squandered it on this fandom. This is such a creative route to take the ship and I am on the edge of my seat anticipating a fantastic ending to their complicated, but undeniably charming story! You sir, are a talented little rascal. Amen.

Cult Reincarnation part Three! Here's parts One and Two if you missed 'em.

The followers of Bill Cipher are the most blessed of believers. Strong and devoted, they are empowered to overcome all things, through service to their god.

And in times of trouble, the devout always have something to turn to. 

Dipper bows his head before the golden image, and tries to force his muscles into a semblance of relaxation. 

Worship.

He hopes hating every second of it doesn’t matter. If it works at all. 

Praying to a god, in the domain of said god, should technically speaking be overkill. This kind of thing is supposed to reach through the veil between planes, not just partway across a building. The process has a lot of kick to it. 

That’s the theory, anyway. Dipper’s working with what he’s got - 

But he’s not sure Bill’s all that easy to reach. 

No worshiper has ever called for help and received it. There were excuses, of course. Dozens of them. But brushing them off with a ‘not worthy’ doesn’t work when it’s literally everyone.

Either nobody’s worthy, or no help is provided. From what Dipper’s learned about the god himself, it’s the latter. 

Probably because Bill doesn’t care about most of them. Maybe because he thinks it’s funny. The third guess -  that he thinks helping is boring - is currently leading the pack.

There’s another reason, too. One that’s… technically possible, but Dipper’s trying not to think about it. 

No matter what the cause of it, none of those bode well for Dipper’s plan. That’s on top of the fact that summoning Bill is, by all metrics, an incredibly reckless idea. 

Still, desperate times call for desperate measures. 

Dipper needs a quick way out of an awful situation, and it’s one he got himself into this time.

Focusing on the shape of Bill in the window, Dipper concentrates. Breathing in, then out. 

He snaps his fingers, and the candles bloom with bright blue fire, before settling down to the standard red-yellow glow. Despite everything, he spends a brief second admiring the tiny flames.

The magic comes so easily to him now. Studying mysterious texts found in a hideous nightmare realm is another bad idea, but you can’t argue with results. Whoever gathered the books in the guest room must have -

Another wailing howl rings down the corridor. A distant scrabbling echo, the scrape of claws on stone.

Dipper drops to his knees and scrambles to finish his makeshift setup. Something ninety percent cribbed from the ritual he ‘volunteered’ for, minus all the blood.

Rushing through this isn’t optimal, but hell, none of this is. Dipper’s working on a hope and a literal prayer. Being in the guy’s home instead of a dimension away should amplify the effect. Bill might not be able to ignore him, if he’s loud enough.

When the alternative is being devoured by wandering demons, Dipper’s willing to have a bit of faith. 

Just a smidgen, though. Enough to make this work.

Another chattering sound, though more distant, gives him plenty more panic-induced belief to work with. 

With all the setup done, Dipper claps his hands together. He tries to steady his breathing. The words of the ritual resonate in his mind instead of out loud, which should be good enough considering the god in question.

And he knows Bill, too. Personally, not abstractly. Dipper can hold the image of him in his mind as clearly as if he was standing in the room. The fact that it’s a human shape shouldn’t matter. He’s… ninety five percent certain it won’t.

Now. If he focuses. If he reaches out with sincere effort and desire, pushing with the magic that bubbles inside him - this should work. 

He really, really hopes it works. 

“You rang?”

His heart nearly leaps into his throat. Jerking up right, Dipper whips around towards the voice. 

Where Bill Cipher stands. He’s right behind him and just to his left, as smug and dapper as always. Appearing out of freaking nowhere.

Dipper slumps back down to the floor as Bill wiggles his fingers in greeting.

That’s one hell of a response time. He’d barely gotten started before Bill popped into place.

“Looks like you had a fun little jaunt!” Bill claps his hands together, leaning - but not quite looming - over him. “I wondered where you’d run off to!”

The phrasing makes Dipper wince. That’s not - he hopes Bill didn't really mean that. It would mean he got the wrong idea. 

Dipper didn’t ‘run off’, because he’s not stupid. No matter what other people might have said. 

All he wanted was a cursory look around. Checking out if there were other ‘apartments’, see if there were any windows. Something brief enough to let him get an idea of what kind of place he was dealing with, then heading back to the relative safety of Bill’s place.

Which might be the weirdest part of all. 

That it is safe, for a limited version of the word.

Since being kidnapped, he’s had zero new injuries. Plenty of comfort, reasonable safety, and very little to hide from. Material comforts, not promises that never get realized. Even his room in Bill’s place is the nicest place he’s ever lived, cozy by any definition.

Casting everything aside for the chance at an ‘exit’ is a dumb choice. 

Dipper was doing just fine where he was. No running off anywhere. He’s been perfectly fine with his three little rooms, even if it’s a bit limiting. 

Technically he has access to four, if you include the living room. But that one usually has Bill in it.

Some worshippers would have bled far, far more than Dipper did, for even the briefest chance at access to their god. Getting their messages to him directly, basking in his radiant golden presence, accessing all his mysteries - a dream that they could hope to think about achieving, one day in the future.

And they’d all be disappointed.

Turns out Bill’s both weirder and more crazy than any scripture made it seem. It’s nothing like… anything, really.

Dozens of passionate sermons on Bill’s infinite wrath, crumbling in the face of him being totally, bizarrely chill with everything Dipper’s done so far. Hours of speeches about his unknowable motives, and infinite grandeur, shattered by watching him pontificate on whether he should wear the ‘cool’ socks today, or the ‘ones with little duckies on them’. 

Hell, Dipper watched his god blow up half of a wall by accident and shrug it the hell off - then later get so mad at something on interdimensional television he choked on the gummy bears he was eating.

Years of study has done nothing to prepare Dipper for this, and he was the one looking in forbidden texts. 

It’s. Informative. But also, like, a lot. 

So for the most part, Dipper decided to hole up in the guest room. It’s easier than parsing the god puzzle, and the alone time is nice. 

In the last… few days? More than a week, possibly, he’s had time to read, write notes, take uninterrupted naps, and nothing bad has happened to him. Peace and quiet came at a premium back in the compound. Here, all he has to do is shut a door. 

Still, books only last so long to keep someone occupied. Confinement has always made Dipper kinda stir-crazy. 

And on the one occasion when Bill wasn’t in the living room, well. Curiosity has always driven Dipper into absolutely dumb actions. Including going snooping again. Maybe a tiny bit of peeking into Bill’s bedroom, because the door was unlocked. 

And since that was unlocked, it only made sense to test the knob leading out of Bill’s quarters.

It’s not Dipper’s fault the damn door disappeared the moment he stepped outside.

So really, he didn’t ‘run off’. He wasn’t trying to escape, or even go too far from his room.

He just got bored.

And when that went south, he didn’t have many other options. Turns out the Fearamid is full of demons. He saw that on the way in, but he didn’t truly understand the extent. 

Without Bill escorting him, the concept got hammered in pretty much immediately.

The moment he stepped out, he must have caught the attention of damn near every demon in this godawful place. One young human, basically catnip for monsters. The first one showed up within a minute.

Time is strange here, though. It might have been longer. 

Dipper has been running for what feels like hours. 

“What’s the matter, kid? Trip not as fun as you expected?” Bill gives his shoulder a friendly shake. “Or didja just miss me?”

Dipper shrugs. 

Sure, it’s nice Bill showed up. It’s great that he’s not deadly. But he’s arguably a different kind of problem.

A few tugs on his shirt make him reluctantly stand, turning to face Bill. Despite being summoned in his own home, he’s surprisingly upbeat. 

“Now I’m guessing you called me - and this is just off the top of my head here - that once you got going, you couldn’t find your way back.” Bill sets fists on his hips, eminently amused. “A little lost lamb like you musta freaked out!”

Before Dipper can do more than shrug, something with way too many limbs scuttles around a corner, filling the hallway with a writhing mass. He surges closer to Bill, heart in his throat.

A moment later the creature spots Bill, and freezes in place. Then, lifting each of its limbs like it’s tiptoeing, it backs all the way up and around the corner. Like it opened a door, saw something twice as horrific as itself - and then carefully shut it again, trying to pretend that didn’t happen.

“Do me a favor, though, and put a little less ‘oomph’ into the magic next time.” Bill pushes a pinky into his ear and twists it around, then pulls it out and flicks it clean. “That crap was loud.”

Dipper nods rapidly. Yep, can do. At some point he started clutching Bill’s elbow, but he’s not about to stop. Not here.

With Bill guiding him, the mazelike corridors present no further problems. Even though they do turn around at least three times, and at one point walk on the actual ceiling, Bill keeps going with perfect confidence in his stride. 

There aren't’ any interruptions, either. Compared to mere minutes before, the halls are mysteriously quiet and empty, leaving him and Bill to stroll along, hand on elbow.

When they arrive back at the penthouse, Bill opens the door with a sweep of his arm, and a slight bow that might be mocking - but Dipper’s too tired to be bothered.

So much for the ‘escape’ idea. Running around the Fearamid was nothing but an exercise in terrified frustration.

It would be rational, Dipper knows, to be more upset. But the cult was also a confusing, stupid, terrifying place that held him captive, and back there he could never count on having a hot bath, or privacy, or sleep. 

A few weeks ago he would have said the threat of death back home was lower, but now? He knows which one he’d choose, any day. 

The one confounding factor is Bill himself. 

In the cult, you couldn’t avoid him at all. Always talking about him, if you still were able. Praying to his idols, going to the rituals, chanting and waving your hands like an idiot in the air. Making sure that your every action pleased him. Following all his orders. Every day, some part of your day was spent thinking or acting on his wishes.

Actually being around him every day requires… precisely none of that. He’s so -

‘Different’ would be the wrong word. A being who’s lived for literal eons doesn’t change things up on a dime. 

This is Bill Cipher without any convenient ‘reinterpretations’. 

The priest was wrong about Bill. Everything he said was at best incorrect, and more likely a bunch of self-serving bullshit. Everything they ever did was stupid and wrong. Bill never cared about what they did, or all the prayers they sent or literally any devotional action. And that’s a true, unshakable fact, because the opposite idea - that Dipper’s mere presence changes Bill’s behavior, even one iota - is laughably outrageous.

Another slight shake. Bill, trying to catch his attention again. He’s raised an eyebrow, examining Dipper’s face as he thinks.

Right, Dipper should - uh. Probably just get out of here. Before Bill does something like get annoyed at his ungrateful guest. Or worse, put on the expectant look again.

With a quick nod, and a ‘cute’ smile, he shuffles out from under his arm, and scuttles for the guest room. 

Everything’s just as he left it. The open book. The tidy sheets. The notes he was taking, before he noticed Bill was gone and thought he’d have a tiny look around -

“Haven’t done much redecorating, I see.”

Dipper nearly leaps out of his skin. Shit, what - 

Behind him, Bill hovers at a disrespectful distance. His eye is narrowed, and his expression suggests a man who’s not terribly impressed. 

“A full week shoulda had you settled in way more.” Bill says, shaking his head in… disappointment? He stalks around Dipper casually, glancing around the room. “Hey, you made the bed! That’s rare!”

Dipper’s mouth works, but that’s an old, dumb instinct. He shuts it, and glares. 

Bill wanders around, casually pacing around the small space. A quick check of the bed, yanking out the sheets until they’re messy again - then setting his fists on his hips, looking proud of himself.

Okay. This is new. 

Bill’s been around, but he’s never intruded before. Every time Dipper wasn’t sure how to deal with him, he could retreat back to the guest room and be sure that he’d have some space. Quiet, too, aside from the occasional piano playing, drifting through the door.

Now he’s thinking all of that was a courtesy. 

Obviously Bill can’t be kept out of what is, after all, his place. He’s simply chosen not to intrude until now. 

With supreme confidence, Bill drops onto the bed, tucking his arms behind his head and crossing one leg over the other - yeah. Still his place, and he knows it. He didn’t even take his shoes off. 

“Oh!” A bright grin crosses Bill’s face. He rummages under the pillow for a second. “I take it back - you did make one addition to the decor.” 

With a grin, he brandishes the stupid plush of himself like he was holding up his firstborn child. Because he is, as Dipper learned, a narcissist. 

Ugh, of course he’d find that. Dipper looks away, trying to keep his annoyance off his face. 

“Yeah, yeah, glare all you like, kid.” Bill says, wagging a chiding finger. “You’ve been making yourself scarce, but you can’t avoid me forever! At the very least ya need to get those stitches out in a few days.” A smirk. “Though I’d love to see you manage that yourself.”

Dipper can’t argue with that. He does try to stop glaring, but it’s surprisingly difficult. 

“What?” Bill sits up, setting mini-Bill in his lap. He raises an eyebrow. “Not got anything to say?”

Obviously not. Dipper folds his arms, and tries not to look at - not an interloper, this is Bill’s. He’s the guest. Getting bothered by it is rude at best.

“But no! Silent as the night is long, and orders of magnitude more boring. This whole time, I haven’t heard a peep from you, Pine Tree. And I've been very patient.” Bill sighs, running a hand through his hair. “What gives?”

Like that’s not obvious, either. Dipper pinches his lips together, tight. 

There was a sacrifice. Made in Bill’s name, and for his honor. A devotion bestowed unto him. He can ignore cries for help, but there’s no way Bill didn’t notice that. Just like when he showed at the ritual, or at Dipper’s impromptu summoning. The call would have been too strong. 

No, even stronger. With that much blood spilled, it must have been like a signal beacon.

Bill knows what went on. He just didn’t care. 

And now he’s being an asshole, just because he can.

“It’s especially irritating when you have plenty of avenues to make a statement.” Bill rises from the bed with a sigh, dropping mini-Bill back onto the pillows. “You just haven’t put in the effort!”

Without waiting for a response, he stalks straight past Dipper and over to the desk. He runs his fingers over the surface, caressing the edge of -

Oh, shit, no.

His journal. That he left out, like an idiot, assuming Bill would never, ever come in here to see it-

By now it’s far too late - he must have seen a bit already -  but Dipper hurries over towards him anyway. It’s not like he can shove Bill out of the way, or smack anything out of his hand. The repercussions would - he doesn’t want to think about those; they make him feel so sick.

Bill’s already picked it up, he even turned a page - 

“See? You’re literate, sapling! Reading and writing, both at your command.” He rests the journal against where his heart would theoretically be. “Why haven’t you shown any of it off?”

For a lot of very good reasons. For fuck’s sake. Bill’s already intimated that he knows Dipper doesn’t really believe. But he is arrogant, and powerful. A terrible, awful, confusing god.

He can’t be allowed to read that journal, because gods do not like being called ‘assholes’. Even if it’s true.

Though it’s a dumb move, Dipper makes a grab for the damning evidence. Bill’s too quick though; he misses by a mile.

“Oop!” Bill raises his arm high, looking at Dipper with amusement. “Aww, nice try! So close.” With a wink, he dangles Dipper's own personal, very private notebook over his head. Why does this bastard have to be tall, damn it. “What, you want this?” 

Dipper grits his teeth. No, he was never going to get it back by force, or speed, or even a quick wit. One young human doesn’t stand a chance. 

Desperate times. Desperate measures.

It worked before. It might work now, 

Dipper takes a slow breath, and lets it out. Then he shuts his eyes, and kneels. 

Above him, he hears Bill’s laugh fall silent. Slightly placated, then. A little more should do the trick. 

With a great effort of will, Dipper bows his head, hands pressed together. He can get through this. He can kneel and - kind of sit awkwardly on his foot, he shifts his weight and braces his palm on Bill’s thigh for balance. 

He’s about to start praying when something hits him in the head with a thump. 

Dipper jerks back, hissing through his teeth. He starts rubbing at the spot, head lowered - 

And when he blinks at the floor, a book flops unceremoniously open on the carpet. 

Before Bill can move, Dipper snags the journal that was just dropped on him. Tucking it under his arm for safekeeping, and scooting back on the carpet. 

“Eh, whatever. Go ahead and keep it.” Bill folds his arms, turning away to sit back down on the bed. Weirdly huffy for a guy who was getting worshiped. Maybe Dipper did it wrong. “Besides! I don’t need to skim through some book to know you.”

Welp, that’s ominous. 

Dipper shuffles back over to the desk. He glances over at Bill - looking away, still in his odd sulk - then opens a drawer, drops his journal in, and shuts it with his hip.

Another huff from Bill. By his face he’s not in a great mood, but it doesn’t seem to be actively dangerous.

And he doesn’t make another move for the journal. Even though it’s full of secrets.

That’s one relief. Maybe he considers Dipper’s secrets too boring. Maybe Bill’s not interested in them, beyond using them to antagonize him. 

He’s a god, anyway. A demon slash god slash infinite being of pure energy. All human thought should be totally beneath his notice, just like the fleeting human lives that make up his cult -

But that doesn’t make sense, either. 

Dipper rubs at his eyes. Silently willing any part of this, at any time, to finally come together. 

Because if humans were totally beneath Bill’s notice, why is one of them here? Living in his home, taking up his space, eating his food and breathing his air and getting weird expectant looks. Even for a supernatural being, that’s no small effort.

If it were just about his blood, Dipper could understand that. It wouldn’t be very fun, but he’d get it. 

But it’s not. Because none of it has been spilled since the ritual. Because nothing’s been painful or threatening or - okay, a lot of it’s been weird, but nothing like the scriptures said it would be. All the rules Dipper’s learned simply don’t seem to apply. 

Bill’s supposed to be - 

He’s supposed to be different, is all. 

But hee can hardly blame Bill for that. It’s not his fault people got him wrong, or idealized him, or if he’s super weird - that last part was advertised, extensively. 

There’s a lot of things that a lot of people are ‘supposed’ to be, Dipper guesses. It never really fits them, in the end.

He just doesn’t understand why Bill’s doing this. 

“Don’t think we’re not gonna go over the main pain of the day, either.” Bill gives Dipper a long, annoyed look. “What kinda guy stays at another guy’s place and doesn’t give him so much as a ‘hello’?”

Dipper shrugs, and stuffs his hands in his pockets. He can’t quite meet Bill’s eye. 

Okay, technically Bill’s right. That would be rude, if it weren’t for certain circumstances. 

“And I don’t mean chanting a prayer, either! You got fully functional hands and a brain.” With a frown, Bill stands and approaches. Dipper backs up against the desk, but Bill stops a couple feet away, hands on his hips. “Why not write a thank-you note or something?”

Oh. Well. 

That was always an option. Dipper just didn’t know Bill wanted it. 

And why would he? Bill’s a mental god, a mind reader. Always keeping an eye on him. The idea that he just wants to be ‘talked’ to is…. 

Yeah, another weird thing. Hell, at least Dipper can do that. It might not even be too embarrassing.

Before he can grab a pen and paper off the desk, Bill shoves a whiteboard and marker in his hands. He nearly jumps back, before accepting it with reasonable dignity. Despite having seen it before, Bill manifesting things out of nowhere is remarkably startling.

Now he’s left staring at it. Wondering what he should do.

“Ahem,” Bill clears his throat. “You could start with a, ‘Hi Bill!’ or, ‘You’re amazing, Bill’. Y’know, any kinda standard greeting.” He claps his hands together, grinning wide. “But I’ll give you more points for creativity.”

Dipper glances down at the blank white board, then back up at Bill. He clamps his mouth shut, trying to focus.

That was a joke. Right? He’s, like, 90% the ‘points’ are rhetorical, not literal. How do you get a bad grade in talking to a god? What metric would Bill use to - damn it, he’s overthinking this already. 

What would be a good answer. What would be bad? And what’s the horribly wrong one that ends in disaster? 

Dipper hesitates, biting his lip. He hears Bill make a soft groan, either impatient or already disappointed.

Great. Yet another chance to fail his god. Just like all the other times Bill waited for something, and didn’t get it. Now he’s going to read something Dipper wrote, words made just for him, and those will be the first words Dipper’s ever said directly to him. They have to be - 

Shit. Right. 

Another glance up - Bill has his expectant look on again, and somehow it’s even brighter this time. Watching tantalizing treat, held just out of reach - but maybe arriving, in a moment.

Of course. That’s what Bill’s been waiting for.

The only truly wrong answer is not giving one.

Dipper gives a quick smile, and starts scribbling on the whiteboard. He can do this. It may not be great, but he can hardly do worse than nothing. 

The instant he puts marker to surface, Bill’s grin somehow widens to an impossible degree, even though it’s the single most boring thing that could be going on in the nightmare realm. He even claps a few times, like a particularly annoying, demonic seal.

His enthusiasm takes some of the pressure off. Even if Dipper can’t bring himself to use the most worshipful greetings, Bill should be pleased nonetheless.

“Lemme see, lemme see!” Bill beckons him closer, eye bright and lit from within. 

For a second, Dipper’s tempted to hold the board to his chest, feeling warm in the face. It’s really not a big deal. Bill doesn’t need to make one out of it.

After a second, he turns his head away and the board around, where he’s written a fairly neutral - but still devoted! - greeting.

‘I am at your service, my lord.’

Bill looks down at the board.

Then he looks up at Dipper’s face, searching it for something. Then down again. 

The smile has slid away, leaving a mix of alarm and disgust behind. Like Bill bit into a donut he’d been saving for a special occasion, and got a mouthful of frog spawn. 

The reaction is so unexpected that Dipper’s more baffled than nervous. What, is it his handwriting? A quick check proves it’s perfectly legible. 

“Cute, I guess! Give it another shot.” Bill says, and wipes the board clean with two fingers. He laughs, in the tone of someone who’s seen a terrible social gaffe and is glossing over it. “Try ‘Bill’, instead. ‘Handsome’, if you’re daring. A pet name, even!” His smile inches briefly downward. “But ‘bout skip the ‘lord’ or ‘master’ for the next few years. Minimum.”

Dipper slowly turns the board back around, though he does side-eye Bill for a moment. He gets a grip on the marker again, pausing for thought. 

What the hell, that was a classic. Every supernatural being likes deference. Especially the powerful ones. Except now the rules have changed up, again, without any rhyme or reason, because Bill just has to be super weird, all the goddamn time. 

Not that he’s going to comment on it. If Bill overthinks this ‘no groveling’ decision, he might change his mind. 

After a few seconds of deliberation - Bill staring the whole time - he goes with, ‘Hi Bill’

“Much better,” Bill says with satisfaction. He rubs his hands together, smiling wide. “Man, we have a lot of catching up to do!”

He leans in, very, very close, making Dipper lean back against the desk. He clutches the board tight, smiles awkwardly - and hopes this won’t be too bad. 

One of Bill Cipher’s domains of power is knowledge. Another is secrets. 

With the way Bill asks questions, it’s like Dipper has a bunch that he doesn’t already know about. 

Bill wants to know his favorite color - blue - tells him it should be yellow, with a haughty sniff, then erases Dipper’s apology and insists he tell him about his brief trip outside. And about how he likes the penthouse. How he’s found the accommodations - comfy, thank you - and a thousand other minor, dull details. Keeping up with the sheer barrage makes Dipper’s hand cramp, even when he skips out on full sentences. 

It’s one of the longest conversations - insofar as it is one - that Dipper’s ever had with someone outside his old cult. Bill, meanwhile, is the god of that cult, and he still doesn’t seem to know anything about it. Or at least he’s asking a hell of a lot of questions about really, objectively, boring crap. At some point, Dipper realizes that eternal smile isn’t there anymore, so it’s probably boring him, too.

“All of that aside - I think we oughta get to the heart of the matter, as it were.” Bill snaps his fingers, and the grin resurges. 

Dipper nods. He swallows, throat bobbing, and ducks his head. 

Okay. Everything else has been kind of surface level. Now he must be moving on to deeper secrets. Things in Dipper’s head that have never seen the light of day. Or the ones that have, and Bill’s going to dig into them, deeply. Possibly painfully so -

“Why won't you talk to me?” Bill whines. 

What?

Dipper runs that sentence back through his head, but there’s no other word for it. The high, nasal tone, the slump of Bill’s shoulders. A look that might be a pout - he’s sulking again, but way harder this time. 

But that - Dipper double-checks his board, recalling all his responses. It can’t be something he wrote, that was all pretty bland. So either Bill’s just being weird again, or - something. Another thing.

Damn it. He wishes he had more space to pick this apart, but Bill’s been so close and talking too fast. He didn’t have time to analyze while bracing against the flood.

“Seriously, what are we looking at here?” Bill says, straightening up. He paces around Dipper in a circle, arms tucked behind his back. “Vow of silence? Cause if so, I’m your god, and I say screw that! Pipe up anytime!”

Dipper shakes his head. No. If it was, he would have violated it a long time ago. It’s a weird guess.

It’s weird that Bill is guessing.

“Ethereal binding? A curse, maybe?” The idea must strike him as a fun one, because Bill perks up again. “Now if we’re talking curses, oh man! I’ve got a whole collection! There’s dozens of ways to break those, kid. Hell, depending on type, we could get you patched up this evening!”

Again, Dipper shakes his head. He huffs out a sigh, about to correct Bill’s incredibly wrong assumption - 

Then pauses with the marker above the board. Because - well - Bill wouldn’t want to be told the obvious. He should know this already. 

Dipper bites his lower lip again, frowning at the blank white space. 

Shouldn’t he?

Meanwhile, Bill rattles off more speculations, each one more bizarre than the last. No, he didn’t make a deal with a sea witch, or a harpy. He didn’t wander into the bog of silence, or sell his voice for some magic beans. 

By this point he’s not bothering to hold up the board and marker anymore, just so he can shrug better. Without writing down his responses, he has more space to think.

He already knew the ‘didn’t care’ part. An ambivalent, cruel god would hardly have reason to help any easily replaceable mortal. The ‘bored’ part might fit, if Bill wasn’t so bluntly fascinated by the topic. Obviously Bill thinks some suffering is fun, but this ‘conversation’ doesn’t entertain him. It’s something…

There… was a another idea. One Dipper kept to himself. 

An assumption, and one that he knows so, so much better than to speak aloud.

Not that he can ever do that again. 

Looking at Bill’s face, though. He’s gone quiet, momentarily. Looking back at Dipper with his head cocked to one side. Staring, intensely, like he wants to drill the answer straight out of his brain. Which he can, he’s Bill freakin’ Cipher. But he’s not doing it for whatever reason, so Dipper just has to roll with that.

At the end of the day, there’s no other conclusion to come to. 

That despite the all-seeing eye, the power of a god, and knowing mysteries of the multiverse - 

Maybe Bill actually, genuinely, doesn’t... 

Dipper has to try a couple times before he gets the letters down without them wobbling too much. He gets them down with careful strokes, board feeling heavy in his hands.

His hands only shake a little when he flips it around. 

‘You don’t know?’

“Hey, I know tons, kid! A billion things! I could tell you what I had for breakfast, January 25, 1938! Or what Machiavelli did in his spare time! But that’s stuff I was personally involved in.” Bill scoffs. Then waves vaguely, not meeting Dipper’s eye. “Whatever went on in your little conclave wasn’t on my radar. I might be short on specifics.” 

Even though he was already expecting something like that, the admission catches Dipper off guard. 

Holy shit, he was right.

Bill genuinely didn’t know. He just said it, though not in so many words. 

He just. Said it. 

There are things in the world that he doesn’t notice, or - or things that he misses, he’s not - 

As Dipper reels at the revelation, he braces himself on the desk. Bill’s arm shoots out, bracing his waist like he thinks Dipper’s going to fall. 

And. If this wasn’t for - if this wasn’t from Bill. If he didn’t command it from afar. If it wasn’t his order. Then it was always the people around him, especially the priest, and Dipper didn’t, maybe, do something wrong, he just. 

Dipper sniffs, then wipes at his face with his sleeve. Hopefully it looks like he was scratching an itch or something. 

Weirdly, Bill’s serious face starts edging towards… surprise? Alarm? He coughs into his fist. “So, about the-”

Dipper waves him off, then realizes that was stupid. He picks up the board again, and scribbles, ‘I can’t.’

“What do you mean you ‘can’t’?”

How is he not getting this? Dipper huffs out a breath, and underlines ‘can’t’. Twice. 

Bill rolls his eye, patting the air in a calming motion. “Alright, alright. Straight up incapable! Now are we talking emotionally, spiritually…” It was already weird to see him serious. Now, his expression is far too calm.  “Or physically?”

Maybe Dipper shouldn’t admit this. Maybe telling Bill would get someone in trouble, but it’s not Dipper in trouble, maybe never should have been, and momentum carries him forward. 

It takes a second to write it. The words keep coming out wrong. 'They said it was for blasphemy’.

"Show me." Both Bill's face and voice are dead flat. 

The sharpness of the command stings. Dipper winces, jaw clenching tight. 

There’s the first order he’s been given. Until now, Bill hasn’t bothered, and all things considered it could be worse. 

But it is an order. Dipper swallows against the nausea rising, and clenches his fists.

Okay. He can do this. It’s been a long time since he took a look in the mirror at that particular sight, but - right, lord of nightmares. He’s probably seen way worse. 

Under Bill’s impatient gaze, Dipper carefully sets his board and marker aside. Then he shuts his eyes, points at his mouth, and opens it. 

He only holds it that way for, like, a little bit. Exposing this sucks. It makes his mouth dry, and having Bill stare at it makes the twist in his stomach worse.  A few seconds all he can stand before he shuts it again. 

A low growl rumbles. 

Then Bill’s thumb digs into the corner of his mouth, pulling it back and shoving in between his teeth. Dipper tries arching his head away, but Bill turns him back with a commanding grip on his chin. A thumb digs in, wedging his mouth open and pushing his teeth apart. The only choice is to open up or bite him, and it hurts - 

Dipper twists his head. Bill holds him still. The helpless ‘ah’ that comes out of his throat sounds strained and weak. Shit, he should just be quiet, it’s not like he’s not used to it at this point.

Continual pressure, Bill’s not giving in - so Dipper relents, letting Bill get his awful kicks out of the sight. Face burning, eyes shut. He’s never liked having to use his mouth since it happened, and Bill keeps staring when he should have only needed a glimpse to know what was wrong.

Bill holds him like that for a full ten seconds. Silent. Staring. 

Then he lets go. 

Dipper stumbles back, covering his mouth with both hands. Through the rapid blinking, he can see Bill take a deep breath in. 

And another one. 

Bill’s eye is twitching but otherwise, he’s dead-faced. No more smile, no easy stance. He’s tense and his fingers flex. His eye glows with a dull, burning light.

That’s… not a happy look. Dipper presses his back up against the wall. He blinks rapidly, trying to clear the heat from his own eyes.

When Bill punches the wall, it shatters as if hit with a sledgehammer.

Dipper drops. Legs folding, butt hitting the ground, and pressing his hands tight over his face. Shards of the wall tumble onto the carpet, and blink away into ash, as blue fire burns in the crater; drywall flaking away to reveal more of that same black stone.

“You have got to be kidding me! What kind of bullshit is THIS?” Bill’s voice rings through the room, loud and so angry. He starts pacing back and forth, throwing his arms in the air. “Bunch of half-witted jackasses ruining my stuff! And for what?” 

His voice turns strange and deep on some of the words, it resonates in the room, it makes the walls shake. 

Dipper shuffles up against the desk, taking shelter from the blooms of fire that seem to be popping up on the walls, and the floor, and - everywhere. It’s trailing along the baseboards, climbing up the corners.

Bill didn’t like that. He really, really didn’t like that. He’s angered his god again and it’s going to be bad.

“And in my name! Under my image! What a laugh!” Bill taps his foot against the carpet, teeth bared, eye glowing a bright, hot red - “They like blood rituals? Oh I’ll give ‘em a blood ritual.”

It feels like the entire building is moving by now, as Bill punctuates his statement with a kick. It tosses Dipper an inch off the ground, sending books and pens toppling to the floor. The door to the kitchen splinters into a thousand quietly screaming shards, before vanishing in acrid smoke. The heat’s rising, Bill’s way too close - and the light’s gone strange and shifting, casting stark shadows in dark black and bright light.

Dipper never should have mentioned anything. Never gone outside, never left his room, never spoken up, the last is a lesson he should know by now. Never should have thought that Bill didn’t have infinite wrath available, how stupid was he. 

All he can do now is try and make himself small. 

Tucking himself against the desk isn’t working but there’s nowhere else to go. Nothing in this room is safe, and it’s so hot - Dipper tries to breathe steadily but he can’t seem to get enough air.

“I never shoulda left that place intact in the first place!” Bill throws his head back, laughing to himself with a manic grin. “That’s the last time I let a bunch of stupid cultists live with their lungs on the inside.”

Bill punctuates his threat with another kick to the wall, which deforms like putty around him. Bill swears again. He yanks his leg, attempting to pull it out - and hey, the door’s open. Bill never shut it, he’s turned away for now and as long as he’s not looking - 

Dipper makes a break for it. 

Scrambling on hands and knees on too-hot carpet hurts, but the lower he keeps himself the less likely he’ll catch Bill’s eye again. A frantic couple of seconds later he’s out of the guest room, heart pounding, and he leaps to his feet and runs.

Can’t stay out here. Room’s too open, too many places to be cornered. Can’t be in the open or be seen, can’t remind Bill that the source of his anger is right here with him, so easy to catch and punish.

His brain catches up with him just as his foot hits stone. 

Dipper freezes in the doorway, breathing hard - but not stepping out. 

Okay, the exit opened easily enough, but he already knows that everything outside is terrifying and horrible and - he glances over his shoulder, at the blue light - it’s not much of an improvement. 

With a jerk, Dipper abandons that escape route, and turns back to face the penthouse. The light from the guest room is growing, Bill’s anger surging, and before he storms out Dipper needs a place to hide. 

There’s too much space under the piano. He’d never fit in the cupboards, or under the couch, and the fireplace is literally on fire - 

But there is one more open door that Dipper’s never been in before. 

Bill might not like it, but he also won’t look there first thing and it’s further away from him than where Dipper’s standing right now.

He’s through the door to Bill’s bedroom before he can stop himself -  no magical resistance, and no time to think about why - Dipper checks, but there’s no obvious exits, or closets, or even conveniently large wardrobes, why does - 

In the distance, Bill lets out a loud, angry incoherent sound. He hears the door slam, open or closed he can’t tell. 

As another rumble shakes the Fearamid,  Dipper ducks and slides underneath the too-large bed.

Thank hell the bed’s totally oversized; there’s enough space to crawl, so he shuffles up and back, towards the headboard. It’s a little dusty and there’s some clutter he can’t see, but all that is easily shoved aside until he curls up, tight, against the wall and under the frame.

That’s it. As far away as he can get.

Nothing left to do but wait.

It feels like a long time. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t. There’s no way to tell, with the only frame of reference being his own heart pounding, too fast. 

The building has gone still again, which. Hopefully that’s a good sign. Maybe Bill’s calming down. Maybe he’s moved somewhere else. Maybe he noticed Dipper left, and he’s going to hunt him down and - 

But it might take him a while. This is a decent hiding space. The blankets draped back down after he slid under, covering any line of sight. And all the light. Everything’s dark, and the cloth and bed muffle all the distant sounds. 

Somewhere, Bill lets out a single, furious shout. Dipper winces, but he can’t make out the words anymore. It could be about anything.

After that, there’s silence again. 

Simply waiting means he could stalk in without any sign. He can be quiet, he’s basically a supernatural predator, and an ambush - he needs some warning. 

Dipper shuffles until he faces the wall, pressing his ear against the floor, listening for the approach - No footsteps. Yet. He can still feel his heart beating at a rapid pace, but he thinks he’s not panting anymore, so. That’s good. 

The quiet, and dark, and - for some, incredibly weird reason - the smell of the room itself all combine into a strangely calming effect. Not that it’s safe, because absolutely isn’t; there’s literally only a duvet keeping him out of sight.

It just. Feels a little safer. For stupid, back-of-the-brain reasons, totally irrational. Like an animal retreating into its burrow from a predator, pinging ancient instincts.

Which isn’t rational in the slightest. Not to mention the danger is Bill Cipher himself. Dipper’s putting his faith into a blanket keeping a monster from seeing him, and if it wasn’t so terrifyingly real it’d almost be funny.

This is the best he’s got for now. He’ll figure out the next step later. Whenever that is.

The one positive note is the yelling’s been done for a while now. Quiet is a welcome relief. Even if it’s temporary. 

Very temporary, as a sudden commotion starts up in the living room.

By the sound of it, Bill’s stomping around and making a clatter. He’s messing around with objects. Breaking something, maybe. Doesn’t matter, as long as he’s not breaking someone.

More thudding - faster, like a run - then Bill’s voice, loud and slightly breathless. “Hey! Pine Tree?” 

A long pause.

Dipper tucks his legs up against himself, wrapping his good arm around them. His other wrist throbs; he holds it close to his chest.

Swearing resumes, at a lower volume - then a rapid thump of a run, before an abrupt stop. 

Then Bill shouts again, echoing and distant, as if down a hallway. “Dipper!”

The name rings through Dipper’s nerves like a bell. It’s like being clanged against a metal pot, sudden and shocking, vibrations running through him. He clasps his arm tighter around his legs, and shuts his eyes.

It- maybe that was less angry? Bill, wondering where he went. Dipper’s not in trouble. He shouldn’t be in trouble. It wouldn’t be fair, it wasn’t fair before and it wouldn’t be now, he was just doing what he was told this time - and there’s no way to get out of here. There’s nowhere else to go.

Dipper pushes his nose into his sleeve, face against the fabric. 

It’s too much to hope that Bill’s not upset - but he might have taken off somewhere. Found someone else to take his anger out on. A more deserving target.

He won’t be mad forever. Right?. His emotions are flighty, and he’s easier-going than the sermons made him seem. Given enough time, maybe Dipper can uncurl himself from this place, sneak back to the probably-ruined guestroom, and -

Footsteps, again. Close. 

Dipper jerks his head up from the floor and he can still hear them, even through the cover of the bed and blanket.

Bill’s not just back, he’s in the room with him. 

Stupid, stupid, stupid. Why did he take off, that was the worst thing he could ever have done. The eye of God is always watching, witnessing everything Dipper does. 

He can run, and he can hide, but in the end he will always face judgment.

He claps a hand over his mouth and nose. Holds his breath. A few more seconds. A minute. Every moment he can get is precious.

Bill’s shoes on the carpet make a loud, distinctive thump. The sound heads towards the fireplace of the room - then pauses, and turns back to the door. A quick, repetitive path, back and forth. Not near the bed, yet. Bill’s muttering something under his breath that’s too quiet to make out, staying in the room, not leaving, until Dipper’s lungs burn with the effort to keep still. Keep silent.

“Fuck!” Something slams into the bed, a thump on the mattress that sends the frame shaking. Despite all his effort, some air escapes Dipper’s lungs through his nose with a short, high sound. He clamps his fingers over it, but it’s too late. 

Silence. 

Bill goes still. He’s next to the bed. But he’s not setting everything under the bed aflame, or swearing or yelling anymore. Dipper holds his breath again, daring to hope-

“Aha!” The blankets whip up, letting all the light in - and showing Bill’s huge, sharp teeth bared in a grin. “There you are!” 

Dipper turns away. He faces the back wall, he lowers his head.

“I thought you almost ran out again for a sec!” A low whistle. “Be a real shame if you got devoured, kid. I’ve barely even started with you!” There’s a shuffle, like Bill - the god - himself might actually be kneeling, if only to get a better look. “C’mere.”

Dipper shakes his head. Behind him, he hears Bill let out a displeased grunt.

No, he’s not coming out. Not for this. Not even if Bill’s mad about it. 

There's punishment waiting, once he emerges. Dipper can handle it. He has before.

But he will not go willingly. He never has. 

Obedience truly offers no protection. Bill asked Dipper to tell him. Dipper did as he was told for once. Getting hurt for it is just unfair. Hi only did what he thought was right. That's all he's ever done, no matter what anyone else says, and even if some of it was blasphemous then it sure as hell wasn't any of Bill’s business. He doesn’t even know what was said. 

If Bill wants to make a big, agonizing show out of something that upset him, then whatever. He can't be stopped. 

But he doesn’t get to pretend it's anything but cruel. 

He'll have to drag Dipper out.

Another grunt behind him, and the shuffle of something on carpet. Dipper hears it come closer, then the soft brush of something on his back - he flinches. 

“Oh, for-” A heavy sigh, then a retreating scuffle. Bill mutters something under his breath, then, “Under the bed is where monsters live, sapling. By all rights I should join you! Might wanna get outta the way first.”

Dipper doesn’t move, or respond. He remains still, in the desperate hope that Bill will find it boring enough to leave him be.

There’s a pause. A long one, at that.

The silence lingers, for three seconds. Then five. Ten. 

“Okay! Okay, I get it.” Bill says. His tone is calmer, though more sarcastic than soothing. “So the little scene earlier got you freaked out. It’d be a pretty poor showing on my part if I didn’t inspire terror! But none of that was about you, kid.” A patting sound, like a palm on carpet. “You’re fine! No cowering needed!”

Yeah, right. Dipper almost rolls his eyes. 

Oh, no, of course he’s not in trouble. He just needs to come out so they can have a little ‘talk’, or participate in this one little ‘ritual’. With commentary that never once mentions his name, but says it louder than any words. 

It wasn’t true then, and isn’t true now. One of Bill’s major domains is deception, and in plain terms -  blasphemous ones - that makes him a big fat liar.

Dipper tucks his chin down further. Bill missed getting hold of his shirt earlier, so he’s sure as hell not offering his hair as purchase. If he wants to wreak vengeance, he better break down the bed or scoot back under.

Either way, Dipper gets the small satisfaction of making him work for it. It’ll almost be worth what follows.

“Seriously!” Bill says, indignant this time. “Cross my heart and hope to rot in a grave, you’re not the guy in trouble.” He waits a beat, then another - then an annoyed groan, as his lies have no effect. “Always a friggin’ skeptic, huh.”

He pauses, then, “What do you want, kid? A bribe, maybe? Do I gotta blackmail you outta there?” A hum of thought. “Okay, both! If you get outta there, I won’t read your dumb journal and will get you something reaaally nice.”

Let him talk all he wants. It doesn’t mean anything. 

“You gotta come out eventually, y’know.” Bill continues. Dipper tries to tune out his voice, but Bill’s very hard to ignore. “You can’t live there forever!”

It’s true, Dipper can’t. At some point, he’s going to need water, or to eat, or use the bathroom. All kinds of mortal human necessities. 

But until then, he can put off the consequences. Annoying Bill is just a bonus. 

Another, louder groan, and then Dipper hears Bill’s shoes on the carpet again. He stands by the bed for a moment, then goes back to tracing the same pacing path, back and forth. Not bored enough to leave, not annoyed enough to pursue. Even the slight reprieve is a surprising relief. 

Bill's also muttering to himself again. Mostly swearing, by the sound of it, but Dipper thinks he hears the word ‘stubborn’. Which tracks.

How long will it take before Bill gives up? Will he give up? Dipper’s kept his interactions with him to a minimum; he doesn’t know how much patience Bill has. Or how long it’ll last until the fire blooms under the already stifling bedframe, heat building -

“Ha!” Bill snaps his fingers. Chuckling, too, like he’s just had a great idea. 

Okay. Not that long, then. 

Before he can curl up even tighter in the cramped space, he hears Bill’s thudding footsteps - 

Running out of the room?

Dipper waits for a moment. He squirms around enough to tilt his head, checking the space left from Bill raising the blankets. Nothing there.

It’s too much to hope that Bill’s truly gone. He’ll be back. By his exclamation and sudden exit, he’s preparing for some dubiously good idea. He’s going to…

To… 

Something.

For a moment, Dipper almost wishes he had hung out with Bill more. Talked to him, or, well. Wrote something to him. Maybe then he’d have a better idea of what’s going on in that insane, convoluted head of his. It’s not burning Dipper out, apparently, or convincing him through lies. But that just leaves a giant blank space he can’t fill in with useful information.

It barely takes a minute before the sound of Bill storming back in breaks his train of thought. 

Since Dipper knows a scheme is being pulled, he’s sorta prepared. He hopes it won’t hurt, or not hurt too badly.

“Alright.” Bill returns to his previous position, standing by the bed. His breathing has slightly picked up, like he ran all the way somewhere and back. “How about this, then?”

Dipper doesn’t respond. He can tell Bill’s getting back down to peek under the bed; the shadows show it, there’s a scuffle on carpet. 

Then, Bill’s voice. Higher pitched, somewhere in the range of cloying and deeply annoying. “What’s wrong, Pine Tree?”

What.

“I heard that someone is reaaaal upset!” Bill continues, with the same godawful tone. “Why don’t you come out and have a big cuddle with your-” A pause, a quick ‘eugh’ - “Squishy little friend! Mini-Bill!”

Okay, what.

Dipper turns away from the wall out of sheer morbid curiosity. 

The first thing he catches is Bill - looking annoyed, until he sees Dipper turn to look and instantly brightens. He’s crouched by the bed, looking sideways under the frame, one arm extended, and he’s wiggling the stupid Bill plush.

Dipper stares at it. Bill jiggles mini-him some more, making the black legs and arms flop around like the most noodly of puppets. 

Bill dashed off like something was urgent, but it was really only just across the penthouse. Then he dug that out from under Dipper’s pillow, and ran back like he’d just had an amazing idea. 

It’s so…

Dumb.

With a playful whistle. Bill makes the puppet’s arms rise up like it’s offering a hug, clapping its little hands together.

In fact, Bill Cipher - is a goddamn idiot.

It’s the same phrase that always occupies a part of Dipper’s brain, only this time instead of the shame, the self-recrimination, and the memory of pain - he kinda feels like he wants to laugh. 

God. That’s. Vindication, isn’t it. Even while he’s in danger, it feels really, really good.

Bill catches him watching, and all his smugness returns in a rush. “Ha! Knew this would work.” He says - in his normal tone, thank fuck. “Your - ugh - little friend is waiting, kid! Come give ‘em a kiss!”

Alright, that’s enough. 

Dipper makes a swipe for the plushie, but Bill’s quicker on the draw and he misses by inches. That also brought him perilously close to Bill-range - he retreats before Bill can swipe right back.

Too bad. He’s not getting out of here yet. Being under the bed has been safe, so far. He can’t give that up. 

Bill groans, slumping down onto the carpet. He lies on his side, turning Mini-Bill around to glare like somehow it’s the reason Dipper didn’t give in. 

“Fine. Fine! Take your dumb toy, if he makes you feel so much better,” Bill says, mockingly. With a wordless sneer, he flings the plush in Dipper’s direction and flops down on his back. “He’s stupid anyway.”

Mini-Bill lands just far enough away that Dipper has to shuffle forward to grab it. Bill doesn’t move from where he’s lying, giving Dipper enough time to scoot back against the wall and bring it to his chest, holding tight. 

Yes, it’s dumb that Bill got this. Yes, it’s also dumb that Dipper’s glad he got it, and he knows it’s totally stupid, but having the one soft thing in his life in his arms again does make him feel better.

He checks Mini-Bill - still intact, undamaged - then back at the regular-sized version.

Bill lets out a derisive snort, but doesn’t speak. He folds his arms over his chest.

That… was nothing like Dipper expected.

That can’t have been his whole plan. Right? There’s another plot. Deception that he hasn’t seen yet. 

On the carpet, Bill lies flat on his back. He’s glaring at the ceiling. One finger taps an impatient beat on his bicep. And while there’s no smile on his face, he doesn’t look angry, exactly, even though his brow is furrowed.  It takes a second for Dipper to parse.

Bill. Actually looks…

Tired.

Not physically, of course, there’s no sweat on him. Simply like he’s run out of energy, and needs a moment to recharge. Like someone poked a pin in an inflatable plan, one he put a lot of work into, and now he needs a minute to sulk.

Which means he’s not up to anything just yet. 

Dipper squeezes Mini-Bill a few times. It’s soft and clean. A quick check proves it doesn’t even smell like smoke from all the burning; the guest room must be pretty intact. 

After a moment, he wriggles onto his stomach, plushie tucked between his shoulder and ear. 

But he slows down, and stops. Bill’s eye is on him again, half-lidded. Contemplative.

 “What a shame. My human’s decided to dwell with the dust bunnies.” Bill lays the back of a hand dramatically against his forehead, though his eye stays firmly on Dipper. “And here I was, just about to tell ‘em the real reason he’s here.” The barest flicker of a grin, quickly repressed. “Guess he’ll never learn it now!”

Okay, that's a temptation. Dipper glares, but it only makes Bill’s smile creep into a grin. 

And… fine. It’s effective, too. 

Whatever. Bill was right, earlier. Dipper really can’t stay under the bed forever. It’s cramped and dark and uncomfortably tight. It’s only been about half an hour and parts of him are already sore.

And if he’s got to get out, then now’s as good a time as any. 

He rolls onto his stomach, and inches forward, before pausing with a jolt as Bill scrambles up to a sitting position. But he doesn’t go for a grab. He just…  watches, with a weird amount of anticipation. When he sees Dipper hesitate, he starts patting his knees. 

Great, Bill’s not just stupid, he’s a dork. 

Yet another difference from doctrine. The list is getting really long - but Dipper’s okay with that. 

It could totally be worse. Way worse.

Crawling his way out is way harder than it was getting in. Without the energy of panic, it’s kind of a pain in the ass. Hiding in a barely accessible place seemed like a great idea until he had to get himself out.

It’s a far less eventful exit than he pictured. More awkward than anything. Also, the sideboard is lower than the space under the bed, and Dipper hits his head on it with a - well, he can’t swear. But he wants to. 

“Having trouble, kid?” Bill says, sounding amused. He gets to his feet, grinning wide. “No problem. Lemme get that for ya!” And snaps his fingers.

Light floods over Dipper. So does space, in an alarming amount. 

He glances around, where there’s no frame or legs or mattress or - where the hell did the bed go?

“Up you go!” Bill takes hold of Dipper’s arms, pulling him to his feet. “See, that wasn’t so bad, was it?”

Dipper looks behind him - no, the bed wasn’t turned over, or anything. He can’t see a blanket or a shred of wood around. But if Bill he can make things out of nowhere, he can get rid of them too, and -

He. Probably could have done this the entire time. 

“Hey,” Bill says. He catches Dipper’s attention again with a little shake, holding onto his upper arms. “Listen up, ‘cause you weren’t earlier - You aren’t the guy I was mad at, kid.”

A brief, hesitant nod. Yeah. Okay. 

By now Dipper’s pretty sure that’s the case, or everything else wouldn’t make sense. But the way he - with the punching, and the yelling, the distorted reality -

“No, really! I wanted you in mint condition, sapling. I’m mad at whatever empty-headed asshole decided they should perform an objectively stupid surgery! ” His smile flickers into a grimace, sharp teeth very white in his face. “Someone made a real dumb call.”

On that, they can agree. Dipper nods, one sharp motion. He sniffs, and swallows.

Bill’s smile is back, but not the standard version. This is a thin thing, with tension around his eye. 

Though Dipper hasn’t been here long, he has learned a few things. One of them is how to read the variations of ‘happy’ that Bill puts on. It’s a clear cover for other emotions, running just below the surface

Right now, Bill’s still mad. He’s furious.

But like he said - it’s not at Dipper. 

This is anger with no immediate outlet, burning underneath his skin. His eye is focused elsewhere, off into the distance over Dipper’s left shoulder, like he can see the person he wants dead but just can’t reach them. Yet.

And Dipper knows exactly how that feels. For exactly the same reason.

There’s something they can both agree on. It was totally bullshit. Unfair and cruel and - and Bill himself had nothing to do with it, he’d never have ordered it done. Maybe Bill would never have said Dipper deserved to - 

Dipper takes another, longer, sniff. Clears his throat, blinking rapidly. No, can’t - not the time for that. Dwell on it later, not in front of a friggin’ god.

Bill clears his throat, smile shifting ever so slightly. “Hey hey hey! Easy, there.” He winks, sliding his hands up to pat Dipper’s shoulders. “I, for one, think a little vengeance is in order. And since it was your tongue, I’ll even let you pick the method! How’s that sound?”

That sounds… violent. Gory and chaotic and -  knowing Bill - filled with maniacal laughter.

Some deep part of Dipper even likes the idea, but he knows couldn’t go through with it. Even thinking about it makes him feel so, so tired. And awful. Pre-grossed out by the blood. There’s been too much of that already. Still, he nods again, which makes Bill cheer up. The prospect of future chaos, whenever that may be. 

Though if Bill tries following up on that, it’ll be pretty hard to pull off. The culprit was last seen dead on the steps of the altar.

“Welp!” Bill claps his hands together. “Can’t say this was a total shitshow! I learned a lot about you today.” He cocks his head to one side. “More than I thought I would.”

A dismissal. According to Bill, everything’s wrapped up. 

As he takes a step back, Dipper grabs him by his shirt. It stops him right in his tracks. For a single, stuttering heartbeat, Dipper thinks he’s fucked up, again. 

“Oh? Not done with me yet, are ya?” Bill purrs, clearly delighted. He spreads his arms wide. “What’s up, sapling? Miss me already?” He ruffles Dipper’s hair in a rough, annoying way. “I haven’t even gone anywhere!”

No, that’s not it. Dipper frowns, and shakes his head. Though it doesn’t dislodge Bill’s hand, he ignores it

There’s a lot of things Dipper doesn’t get about this place. How it works. Where, exactly, the hell he is. But ever since he was dragged from reality and brought to a weird god’s realm, he’s mostly wondered why. 

Why him. Why then, why bring him here in the first place, why stitch him up and feed and house him. Why not earlier, damn it. 

And Bill just beckoned him out with a clear, though indirect, offer. 

He doesn’t get to back out of it that easily.

“Do me a favor, will ya?” Bill says, slow. He moves in fast enough that Dipper has to back up this time. 

Wow, they’re, uh. Really close now. Dipper has a close-up view of Bill’s collar, before a touch on his chin lifts his head. 

“If you’re gonna invade my room, sapling.” There’s a twinkle in Bill’s eye. “You should get in the bed instead of under it.”

What, like. Hide under the blankets? Literally, next time? Dipper guesses that makes… some kind of sense. In a nightmare realm, made of thoughts. Shifting spaces, lingering ideas - maybe it actually does protect you from monsters. That’d be strange, but…

Damn it, this place better not run on metaphors, or that’s going to be really annoying to parse.

Also, Bill’s giving him a weird look. He stares forward, lips tucked in, like he didn’t say what he meant to, or a great line didn’t land.

Wait. Was that a joke? Weird god-demon humor? A reference? It could - no, he’s getting distracted. Letting Bill change the subject lets him get away without answering. He gives Bill’s shirt another tug, insistent.

“What’s up?”

Oh, for - Maybe Bill should put some of that infinite knowledge towards remembering what he said three minutes ago. 

Dipper holds his hand out flat, scribbling an invisible pen on his palm. Thankfully Bill gets that hint; another board snaps into existence, and Dipper takes it not very gently from his hold.

It only takes a second to write it out, though Bill keeps trying to lean over the board for a peek. 

‘Why am I here?’

“Oh, that.” Bill says airly, looking up and to the side. He’s avoiding Dipper’s gaze. “Y’know. Reasons.”

Dipper takes a deep breath, and lets it out. Okay. Secrets. Another of Bill’s domains, he gets that, but still. He underlines the question, twice. 

“Boy, you’re real curious arent’cha?”

Yes, he is. How much more obvious could it be? Dipper taps the end of the marker on the board - then sighs, and writes a quick addition. ‘Please’. 

“How polite!” Bill’s smile turns mocking, squeezing Dipper’s shoulders. “Wanna add a ‘pretty’ to that?”

That- Fine. Dipper grits his teeth. After the day he’s had, he can handle one last awful thing. For answers.

The marker smudges from the pressure as Dipper painstakingly scrawls down the word.

“Hm.” Bill’s eye narrows as he hums in thought, He rubs his chin, head tilting to the side. Taking his damn time, too, as he looks Dipper over like he’s evaluating a rather expensive purchase.

It never hurts to look presentable in front of a deity, when it comes to something important. The best he can do is stand up straight, and look attentive. Bill shouldn’t mind. He should just spit it out already.

“The reason you’re here, mortal…” Bill says, drawing the sentence out, word by word. He smiles, something slow and sharp, as his thumb strokes over Dipper’s cheek - then pinches it. “Is for me to know, and you to wonder about!” 

What? 

Fucking what?

As Bill draws back, Dipper’s mouth works, no sound coming out. Another yank on Bill’s shirt does nothing except make him laugh. 

It’s not funny. It’s important, it’s - Heat rises into Dipper’s face. His shoulders inch up towards his ears.

Bill can’t just do that. Not after today. Not after everything Dipper’s been through, the demons, the tantrum, the stupid talk to get him out of the bed. The totally humiliating plea. Dangling this in front of him, the reason he’s been kidnapped and confused and basically alone this whole time, then taking it back? 

Nothing ever goes right for Dipper when it comes to his awful god, and - and the laughter stings. Embarrassment burns and rises on the coattails of all the other bullshit Dipper’s dealt with today; there’s heat in his chest and a knot in his stomach. 

That’s not what he said. It’s not fair.

He can’t just do that. 

“Yep! You’re not getting that one outta me. Nice try, though.” Bill taps his finger against the end of Dipper’s nose, making him flinch. “You’re never gonna gue-”

Rational thought doesn’t have time to catch up before Dipper’s fist meets Bill’s face. 

It lands, painfully, in the juncture of his head and neck. With more of a thud than a crack - but it does jerk Bill’s head to the side, and that’s a minor win.

Or would, be, if it had the right effect. 

Bill looks surprised and totally unhurt, while Dipper’s knuckles definitely sting from the contact. He shakes them to get some feeling back. What the hell, how durable is that bastard - 

His brain, screaming from the background, kicks in again. 

Dipper grips his hand tight as shame rising higher in his chest, a burning tide. It feels like he’ll choke on it.

Stupid, stupid stupid. How could Dipper be this dumb, he’s in the realm of a god, helpless, powerless, at the mercy of his whims  - and if Bill wasn’t mad before then he’s definitely mad now. 

God, this always happens, Dipper does something stupid, he stupidly defies god’s will, and there’s always consequences, no matter how he fights.

He looks up at Bill, chest heaving. Bill looks right back, rubbing his jaw - and starting to smile, wide. Showing those dangerous, predatory teeth.

No way to get out of here. Leaving the penthouse means other dangers, and leaving the realm is impossible. Even if he could, Bill’s got a memory a million years long, and he put a knife in the priest’s chest so casually that it was like putting it back in a drawer.

But Dipper can avoid him, for a bit. Along with all other awful things he found out today, he learned that fact.

He turns on his heel, ready to make his second run of the day.

It fails almost instantly.

One step into his retreat, Bill seizes him by the waist and drags him in, too quick by far. Strong, too; kicking out doesn’t work, hitting him again doesn’t work, he struggles against the tight grip and it only makes Bill let out a terrible, cackling laugh. 

Arms come around him, then, drawing him in too close to even hit the bastard anymore, or struggle effectively. They squeeze so tight it’s nearly hard to breathe. Dipper feels a warm grip on the back of his neck, firm and relentless. 

God. He never stood a chance against Bill, did he. Too strong, too quick. Too weird to understand, or placate. Nothing was going to be clear, or forthright, or helpful or safe. 

Escaping the cult didn’t matter, all of Bill’s previous patience didn’t matter, things are alway going to turn against him and ruin his day and his life. It doesn’t matter where Dipper is, it’s always going to be like this. 

It was never going to be okay. 

The strangled noise that escapes his throat sounds so much worse than a normal person’s. A wordless, helpless sound he can’t stop, there’s too much frustration and anger and sheer exhaustion, and Bill’s holding him really right, up against his chest. Dipper headbutts his shoulder in one last attempt at escape, then just. Leaves it there. 

Bill can retaliate whenever he wants. Dipper can’t fight right now, he just - He needs a minute.

The minute lasts. And passes. 

Also, Bill’s shirt is really soft, so it doesn’t hurt when he rubs his face against it. Fuck, and now he’s getting it wet -  but actually, fuck Bill, he’s the one who caused all of this. 

Absolutely everything is Bill Cipher’s fault, even if indirectly. Dipper hiccups, then wipes his nose on the soft cloth. 

It’s all soggy and gross now, he screwed up again - 

But no, Bill deserves it. He hopes it sucks for Bill as much as it does for him, trying to stop his chest from heaving. Bill could have let him go and avoided this, but no, he’s stuck in his arms. Let that asshole get all damp. 

At some point Dipper started clinging back, but that’s only because he couldn’t go anywhere else. Bill hasn’t relented even in the slightest, this entire time. He’s stroking a palm up and down Dipper’s back in a slow, warm rhythm because he’s super goddamn weird. 

Much like living under the bed, this, too, can’t last forever. 

Eventually Dipper sighs. The breath is shaky. Still more solid. He doesn’t have any more to let out.

He’s. Still pretty embarrassed, but he can’t see Bill’s face and he’s not dead. Two okay points in what’s otherwise been… not the worst day of Dipper’s life. But maybe in the top ten.

The hand playing with the hair at the back of his neck slows. Then it strokes through his hair again, and down. Bill pats him between the shoulders, letting out a low sigh. 

“Aw, look at you. All torn up ‘cause the answer wasn’t handed to ya on a silver platter.” Bill pats his back a couple more times. “Man, are you full of fluids!”

A little squirming manages to free Dipper from Bill, at least by a few inches. Bill gives him a once-over, then pushes a handkerchief into his face. 

It’s too late to pretend none of that happened. Or cover up, for dignity’s sake. Or back up, for that matter. With his cover totally blown, Dipper takes the damn thing so he can stop ruining Bill’s shirt, and wipes his face.

“Tell ya what. You had yourself a big day, and your poor human brain’s probably way too overwhelmed to be of use, sooooo…” Bill says, drawing out the word slowly. Smug, again, despite his snotty shoulder and too-close human. “I guess I can part with one hint.”

Dipper looks up. Bill meets his gaze with a grin, totally unbothered. Oddly unbothered.

It’s… it’s like he truly doesn’t mind that his shirt is ruined because some random human’s having a fit, or that he’s been bothered by pointless crap ruining his evening. Bill looks…

Well, he’s… not amused, exactly. Something less snide, and downright impossible to place.

“Truth is…” Bill leans in close, and winks. “You’re special, sapling.” He lingers for a moment - then squeezes Dipper again, slightly more gentle. “Have fun working out what that entails.”

Special. 

Sure, it’s a hint. One that’s sorta true. With everything else that’s happened, denying it outright would throw all of the other hints out with the bathwater. But…

Dipper, of all people. Special. 

It’s one hell of a word choice - and it’s totally, classically Bill. 

With just one word, Bill implied a secret with deep importance. Saying that, deep down, Dipper has something nobody else does. 

Because of course he did. It’s about the allure. 

Everyone wants to be important. Being important to a god, triply so. It’s the carrot at the end of a long, long stick. A temptation. Doesn’t Dipper want to know why he’s ‘special’? Wouldn’t it be cool if he was? The intrigue is exactly why it’s so dangerous.

His first instinct was right. Bill is an asshole. And a big fat liar. 

Dipper blows his nose into the handkerchief, sniffing again. Looking awed at the ‘reveal’ would be the right response, but he’s too tired to play along. And by the look of it, Bill doesn’t mind that either. 

“Gross,” Bill says, but his smile doesn’t alter a fraction. Dipper can’t see any other emotion behind it, for once. He reaches up, thumb smoothing some hair behind his ear, before his arm slips around Dipper’s waist. “No amount of special stops you from being organic, unfortunately.”

Yet more Bill, revealed. A liar, an asshole - and definitely the type of guy who can’t leave an insouciant comment unsaid. It’s completely unsurprising. 

Even though he doesn’t need to, Dipper blows his nose again, just to watch Bill make a face. He rubs at his eyes, trying to dispel some of the lingering heat. 

It doesn’t matter though, Dipper guesses. Bill’s always going to be really goddamned weird and erratic and insane. A person that no amount of learning enables you to entirely predict.

He’s just going to have to work around it. Somehow.

With a smile, Bill starts up his slow petting again. His arms are warm, and that inhuman strength isn’t so bad when it’s just. Holding. 

It’s been a long time - or, how long has it been? Years, maybe… god, Dipper can’t remember the last time someone just- 

He takes a slow, shuddering breath. Bill goes very still for a moment, then he squeezes Dipper around the back, with both arms. Not hard, just tight enough to be kind of…

Wow. Okay.

This is a hug. Bill might lie about it later, but there’s literally no other word for it. 

Dipper turns to rest his forehead on Bill’s dry shoulder, and listens to him chuckle. He can feel his chest moving under his hand, and the steady beat of an inhuman heart. 

There’s a secret here. One about Dipper, and what he means. Bill’s partially revealed it, and he wants Dipper to work out the rest. Best thing to do would be to get on that immediately.

But he’ll have time for that later. 

He can stay here for a bit. Until Bill gets bored with this part too. 

Dipper lets out a sigh, and lets himself relax. He feels the slow stroke start up on his back again, and a low contented hum. This warm body, firm under his arms. 

Even if it’s a lie, it makes Dipper feel like he’s special. Just for a moment. 

[strawberrymilkgeorge]

Part Eighteen. The Package.

warnings: swearing word count: 4.3k (not including pictures)

behind the screen (irl dream x f!reader) series masterlist ultimate masterlist

a/n: me: *it’ll be a much shorter update* also me: *makes it 4.3k words* okay 🧍‍♀️ basically um.... strap in :D

**********

As expected, Y/n’s appearance on Quackity’s stream had caused a panic on Twitter, half of their fans screaming about how cute Bugity was, the other half defending Dreamsy with their lives. It was all very amusing to Y/n, knowing nothing could ever happen between her and Quackity and that neither of them actually had feelings for each other. 

It seemed certain people thought otherwise. 

Dream, the confident and bold man that he usually was, had once again gone quiet towards her. Though it had only been a couple of days, they hardly talked after the stream and had little contact since then, which was very unusual for the two, who normally FaceTimed at least once a day since he showed her his face. 

The weirdest part was he hadn’t Tweeted any jokes about Quackity being too short for her or how Dream was her self-proclaimed Minecraft husband. Maybe he was just busy or tired, but she had a suspicion that it was because she and Quackity had succeeded in making Dream jealous, and she didn’t like it. 

Unlike last time, Y/n knew to confront him about it and work it out before whatever was going on became a bigger issue. She couldn’t deal with him being weird around her again and she had a feeling that he couldn’t either. Even if he was just busy, she wanted to make sure nothing was wrong.

After sending a text to Dream to see if he was busy, Y/n was startled by her front door opening.

“Y/n!” Karl shouted as he ran in, hands full of as many white, plastic bags as possible without dropping or tearing any, though there were a few bags on his right arm that looked like they were about to give. “My beloved!” 

“Karl!” she said back in a slight panic, not expecting him to burst into her house so abruptly. Naomi followed behind him with a few bags in her hands, kicking off her shoes by the entrance and dumping her keys next to them. The two friends set their new purchases on the kitchen counters and Y/n made her way to them to sit at the counter. “Enjoy your trip?”

“Oh for sure,” Naomi nodded sarcastically, unbagging a few items. “Grocery shopping with this one is always sooo fun.” 

Y/n laughed as Karl perked up like he remembered something and dug through a few of the bags Naomi was sorting through. “LOOK WHAT WE BOUGHT!” 

“Uh… cereal?” she guessed, eyeing the brown box her best friend held up proudly.

“Dude, it’s Cocoa Krispies!” he clarified. “I forgot these exist! I’m so excited, it’ll be like eating childhood.” 

Naomi rolled her eyes fondly at his antics before turning to Y/n. “Any word from Dream?” 

She shook her head. “But I only just texted him.” 

“What about Dream?” Karl asked softly, worry in his eyes as he looked between the two girls. “Did something happen? Besides, you know, you showing him your face.” 

Y/n groaned. “I’m never going to hear the end of this. I’m sorry you found out from a stream and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you first. It just happened so fast.” 

“As long as I’m the first person you tell when you inevitably start dating.”

“Oh, like you tell me anything, Mr. I’m-Obviously-Texting-Someone-Cute-Because-I-Never-Stop-Giggling-At-My-Phone-But-Haven’t-Mentioned-Anything-To-My-Best-Friend,” Y/n accused, lifting her hands to put air quotes around the last two words. Karl turned bright red and Y/n raised her eyebrows as his phone buzzed on the counter, his eyes darting to it before looking at Y/n with a bashful smile, face still glowing. “Yeah, I thought so.”

Karl sputtered out some attempt of an excuse as he grabbed the ends of his green hoodie in his hands before giving up and huffing. “Okay, and? I only keep things from you because you keep things from me!” he said with a laugh.

“Lie,” Naomi cut in. “We know you've been texting someone for a while. We just respect your privacy about relationships, but we’ve definitely noticed.” 

“I'm private about relationships?” Karl laughed. “Says you!” 

“I'll tell you anything you want to know as long as you don't share it with fans,” Naomi challenged, crossing her arms and looking at Karl pointedly, as if asking him to test her.

Karl dropped his hands and paused before genuinely asking, “Are you guys dating dating?”

“We’re waiting until we meet to see how it goes,” she answered. “Your turn! Is it the camera girl at work that you mentioned a few months ago?” 

“Anyways!!” Karl dragged out the word loudly, pretending to not hear Naomi's question or either of the girl’s laughter. “What about Dream?” he tried redirecting the conversation and luckily for him, Y/n didn’t mind. 

“Well, I kinda....” she took a deep breath as she started helping Naomi put groceries away. “I really want to... I think, well, I know—”

“She decided to tell him she likes him,” Naomi answered for her, receiving a glare from the taller girl. “What? You were taking too long.” 

Karl’s mouth opened. “Wait, really!? When? Today??” He fired off questions and Naomi chuckled. 

Y/n took a shaky, but excited breath. “I don’t know when. But I’m going to tell him,” she said with determination clear in her voice. 

“What made you decide to?” Karl asked with a wide grin, reaching over to Naomi to help her place a box on a higher shelf than she could reach. “Why all of a sudden?” 

Y/n shrugged and crossed her arms over her chest, hugging herself tightly with excitement. “Well, I started to think he likes me too and I really want to know if something could happen or if I should try to just move on. I’ll never know unless I ask, right?” she said, and Karl and Naomi both smiled at her. “I'm sick of not knowing for sure.” 

“I’m so excited for you!” Karl giggled. “I’m—Y/n, this is gonna be good. I know it.”

She smiled widely, scrunching her nose lightly. “I think so too.”

“So do George and I,” Naomi commented as she took a handful of Cocoa Krispies from the box, earning a look of betrayal from Karl, who snatched the box from her to have a snack too. 

“Does everyone talk about him and I?”

Karl nodded slowly while Naomi took a more blunt approach. “Yup.”

“What are the odds that he’s the only one who doesn’t think we like each other?” 

Karl giggled. “1 in 7.5 trilli— OW! You just hit me!” 

“Overused joke,” Naomi explained, retracting her hand from the back of his head with a sweet smile. 

Y/n pulled her phone out of her pocket as it vibrated and gasped lightly before looking up at her friends. “Okay Karl, I need to know details about this secret person you’re keeping from us, especially if it's camera girl because she sounded adorable.” 

“No,” he protested pointedly. “Not until something actually happens.” 

“Is.. is that a confirmation that it's camera girl?” Naomi snapped her head to look at him.  

Karl paused, turning pink. “N-no?” 

“Karl!” Y/n pouted and he winked dramatically at her. 

“Go talk to your boy. I know it was him that just texted you.” 

“Make him your boyfriend,” Naomi demanded jokingly, though the glint in her eyes told Y/n that she meant it. 

“Not happening right now,” Y/n assured, getting up from her seat. “But I am going to go talk to him. So love you both, bye.”

“Hi,” Y/n greeted happily as she propped her phone up on her desk and tucked her knees to her chest.

“Hello,” Dream said with a weak smile, less enthusiastic than he seemed over text, though he was trying his best to make that not noticeable. He pulled his hood over his hair but kept his face in view and Y/n could clearly see him being vaguely distant, not looking directly at his phone.

Focus on the mission: make sure he's doing okay and if not, find out why, she reminded herself as her thoughts started to focus on how adorable he looked all tired and pouty. Don't tell him you like him if he's mad at you for something.

“Are you doing okay?” He nodded distractedly at her question and she frowned softly. “What’s wrong, Clay?”

The man stuck with his story, adding a slight smile and a breathy laugh in an attempt to make his obvious lie more believable. “Nothing. I’m fine, Bug.”

Y/n took a deep breath and held it for a moment before releasing it suddenly. “At the risk of sounding… narcissistic,” she paused, “are you by chance upset at all by the... stream from the other day?”

Hesitation was written all over Dream’s face as he chewed on his lower lip and hummed.

“Or something completely different? I just wanna make sure I didn't do anything to upset you..”

“I'm not upset at you,” he clarified quickly before hesitantly adding, “but... maybe it has a little bit to do with that.”

Y/n nodded, hoping she was understanding correctly and wasn’t about to make a fool of herself. “In a... jealous way?”

Dream huffed, clearly frustrated. “Yeah, I get it, the whole point was that Alex wanted to make me jealous because he knows how much I care about you and… and whatever. Well, it worked,” he admitted the last part softly like he was embarrassed.

“Dream,” Y/n sighed, “I’ve said it before, you have nothing to be jealous of.”

“I’m aware that I’m not allowed to be jealous, Y/n,” he said harshly, though she knew the slight anger wasn’t directed at her specifically, despite the use of her real name, which he hardly ever used.

She frowned. “That’s not—no, that’s not what I’m saying. I mean that there’s nothing to be jealous of.”

Dream looked at the camera skeptically. “I mean… there kinda is, to be fair. Two of my best friend’s reading—”

“Dream,” Y/n deadpanned, looking softly but sternly at him through the pixels that made their distance seem closer. “I’m serious.”

The blond boy shrugged slowly, seeming to realize how dumb it was to think there was a possibility of him losing Y/n’s attention in any way. “I know it’s stupid to be jealous anyway. You can, you know, have whatever friends you want. I just…” he trailed off like he wanted to say something important but shook his head.

Y/n took a deep breath, so tempted to just blurt out the words at the back of her throat. Just tell him you like him, she scolded herself, do it. It’s the perfect chance. She didn’t know if she was being dumb and was just reading into things or if she was right, but she felt like he liked her. Even before he saw her.

“Sorry I made you mad,” she whispered and he frowned.

“You didn't—Bug, I'm not mad at you. Or Quackity. I’m mad at myself if anything but… not mad.”

“So… you don't hate me?”

He rolled his head back and smiled, scoffing lightly. “I could never be mad at you. Like, actually.”

She rolled her lips between her teeth, feeling the words bubble at the back of her throat again. But before she could open her mouth to let them fly, the boy on the other side of the phone spoke up.

“Hey, did you get my package yet?” Dream asked suddenly. Y/n couldn’t tell if he was changing the subject on purpose or if he just remembered and didn’t want to forget, but it made her want to hit her head on her desk. She needed to figure out a way to subtly bring the conversation back around eventually so she could make herself tell him she liked him.

Y/n let out her breath shakily and her shoulders dropped. “Oh, uh, I don’t think so. The mail hasn’t come today though.”

Dream groaned. “I wish it would show up already,” he pouted. “It’s supposed to get there sometime in the next couple days. I don’t know exactly when because UPS is being vague.”

Y/n laughed. “What did you send?”

“The hoodie!”

“Oh yeah!” she gasped, forgetting about her self-appointed task from moments ago. “I’m very excited. Thank you again, by the way. It’s very sweet of you to send me your merch for free.”

“Of course,” he said with a soft smile. “Anything for you.”

“I’ll just have to pay you back by giving you the very first Bugsy merch.”

“Ohh!!” he gasped excitedly. “Are you working on some?”

She shrugged vaguely to tease him. “I may or may not have a few ideas.”

“Please, can I know? I really wanna know.”

“Why are you so excited?” she asked with a laugh. “You can find out when I announce stuff.”

He pouted. “I don’t get any sort of privilege?”

“Pretty privilege will only get you so far in life, bud,” she teased and he shook his head. She wondered if she would have butterflies in her stomach still if she called him pretty under different circumstances, like if they were dating. Would he react in a different way or still just give her that smile.

“I just can’t wait,” he interrupted her train of thought. “I love having every crumb of BugsyGames content I can get.”

“You already get more than anyone except Karl and Naomi. So greedy.”

He hummed and smiled at her fondly.

“Hey, you said you wanted to talk about something?”

“Huh? Oh… that… uh, well.” He stopped abruptly and his brows furrowed in deep thought, like he was deciding how to say something important again.

She decided to give him a way out by offering, “Was it just about wondering if I got the hoodie yet?”

Dream’s face lit up and she didn’t mistake the grateful look for anything else. “Yeah, that. Just let me know when you do get it. Or I’ll text you if they ever let me know where it is.”

A few days later, Y/n got a notification on Twitter from Dream’s alt account. She rolled her eyes fondly at his theatrics, knowing he didn’t text her like he made Twitter think. 

Y/n lifted the large, brown box from her doorstep and shook her head as she brought it into her apartment. She dropped it on her bed with a huff, hoping that Dream didn’t send her more than one of his merch hoodies. She read the label on the front and immediately knew he did; the white sticker had her nickname written in a small, neat but childlike script instead of a label printed off from a factory. He made her believe he had ordered one from his website and had it delivered to her house, but this clearly showed it had been at his house, giving her the impression there was more than one. She breathed out and grabbed her phone, hoping Dream would pick up her FaceTime call.

After only two rings, Dream answered. “Helloooo,” he greeted slowly but happily. He was slouched sideways on his couch so his cheek pressed against the back and he smiled sleepily.

“Clay.”

“Clay?” he laughed. “Are you mad at me or something?”

“What did you send me?”

“Hoodies? Did you get them?”

“Plural?” Y/n emphasized and he smiled.

“Plural,” he confirmed, making Y/n groan.

“I feel so bad! I didn’t even want one free—”

“Come onnn, it’s fine. Bug, I’ve gifted you, like, 700 subs in one stream before but you don’t want more than one of my hoodies?”

She paused. Did he mean ‘his’ hoodies as in his hoodies? Or as in his brand?

“Just open it!” Dream prompted as he sat up a little. “I’m excited!”

“Which ones did you send me?” Y/n asked as she grabbed scissors from her desk and started opening the box, propping her phone up on her pillows so he could see. “Also, nice handwriting.”

Dream laughed. “Yeah? Sapnap says it looks like shit.”

“I doubt his is any better. I like the little… thing you drew? What is that?” she asked as she paused and leaned closer to the package to get a better look at the artwork.

“It’s a bug!” Dream laughed. “It’s not that bad. Okay, it is pretty bad but you could have figured out what it was from context clues.”

“It's just a scribble.”

“Okay, Miss Artist,” he mocked. “Just open the package!”

Y/n finished opening the box and was hit with an unfamiliar scent. It was nice, making the butterflies in her stomach flutter. She grabbed the material on top, a classic lime green hoodie with Dream’s smile printed on the front, and held it up with a wide smile.

“IT’S SO CUTE!!” she complimented, stepping back from the camera and holding it up to her body. “And also the perfect size! Thank you so much, Dream, seriously.”

“Put it on!” he said with a giggle and she complied, wanting to feel how soft it was while wearing it. She pulled the hoodie on, noting how the scent from the box lingered on the green fabric, but wasn’t strong enough to be the source.

She stepped back and lifted her arms, showing how it fit just how she liked her hoodies to. “It’s perfect!” she assured.

“It looks good on you,” he complimented. “There’s still another one.”

“I know, because you just can’t help but to break rules and go against our agreement,” she joked as she took off the new hoodie and poked her head in the box to see what else he had sent her.

Her eyes locked onto a maroon-colored hoodie with an unfamiliar logo on the front, definitely not more merch like she expected.

“It’s mine,” Dream explained softly from her phone. She looked at him to see him doing his best to hide behind his hand without making his embarrassment obvious.

“No, it’s not,” she challenged in disbelief. No way he sent her his actual hoodie.

Dream nodded and she grabbed it from the box, noticing how much larger it was than the last one. She held it up to her body again and almost fainted at the size difference.

“It’s from, like, forever ago when my family went to the Florida Keys on vacation,” he explained. “Thought you might want a reminder that warm places exist while it gets colder there.”

Y/n smiled widely, not even trying to hide her happiness, which made Dream crack and flash his own grin. “Wanna try it on?”

She didn’t need to be asked twice, slipping it over her head like the last one. It smelled amazing. This was definitely the source of the cologne and she just knew it was his. If this is what he smelled like, she was going to have a hard time not cuddling with him 24/7 when they went on vacation.

“Y/n, you look so cu—”

“It smells so good,” she voiced abruptly and distractedly, making Dream cut himself off and turn a pink that even his phone camera could pick up on.

“Glad you think so.”

She lifted the material over her nose and was even more overwhelmed by the scent that surrounded her. If her stomach butterflies were fluttering before, they were raging lunatics at this point.

“You look so cute, Bug,” Dream complimented fondly and she smiled at him, flipping the hood up to cover her face. “I was right, you do look much better in my clothes than in Karl’s.”

She hummed happily and fiddled with the hoodie strings as she walked back to her phone and took a breath.

She needed to just say it. It was obvious now; there was no way he didn’t like her, sending her his hoodie practically drenched in his cologne and saying she looked cute in his clothes while he blushed. She had nothing to lose in telling him she liked him.

“Thank you, Dream. It really means a lot to me,” she said genuinely and he smiled at her.

“One more thing,” he said and she could detect nervousness in his voice, worrying her only slightly.

“What’s up?”

“I don’t know how to say this because I’ve never done this like… this… but you know there’s a first for everything I guess, and, uh—”

“Dream,” Y/n got his attention with a small laugh. “Just say whatever you need to say.”

“I lied about what I wanted to talk to you about the other day,” he admitted, tightening his hoodie strings before loosening them and huffing loudly. “I mean, I did want to see if the package was there, but I also wanted to… I have a better explanation for kinda ignoring you after Quackity’s stream and stuff um…” he paused and took a deep breath. “I know I can get kinda, I don't know, possessive about people,” he stated, his voice raising at the end like it was a question. “And it's something I'm definitely working on because it’s not a really good trait to have, but I do it especially when I like someone a lot so I’m sorry for being jealous of Quackity and Karl and even Naomi but, uh, I really like you a lot so if I’ve ever come across as overly jealous, that's why. But, again, I'm working on that.”

Y/n didn't know how to contain her smile even if she wanted to. Her heart raced as she looked at Dream’s embarrassed and red face.

“This is also not how I wanted to do this but, I’m pretty sure if I went another day without telling you that I like you, especially after seeing you in my hoodie, I was going to actually explode.”

“You asshole,” she mumbled, a huge grin contradicting her words.

“Oh god, I'm so sorry for rambling. I understand if you wanna send me the hoodie back or even just burn it if you want. Go ahead and burn it. I didn't mean it to come across as creepy if it did. I can see how it would be because I told you I like you after telling you to wear it and… oh god. And I'll stop texting you so much and not go on streams you'll be on and—”

“No, no! Dream, I don't want any of that!” She laughed. “I called you an asshole because you beat me to it.”

“Beat you to what?” he asked, the shakiness in his voice telling her how anxious he was.

Put him out of his misery, Y/n. “I was going to tell you I like you,” she explained before softly adding, “You beat me to it.”

Dream looked at her like she hung the moon just for him. “You do?”

“Yes, dummy. I really do.” Her face was on fire and she lifted the collar of her (his) hoodie over her nose like she always did when she was flustered. This time, the action only worsened her state since she was reintroduced to the scent of Dream’s cologne.

Y/n’s screen showed Dream’s ceiling as he set his phone down abruptly and put his head in his hands, which she could kinda see by his mess of blond waves shoved into the camera lens as he leaned over his desk.

“Dream!” She laughed. “Come back!”

He grabbed his phone and held it close to his face, absolutely beaming. “You have no idea how happy— Bug, I like you a lot.”

“I like you too, Dream,” she repeated and his smile only grew.

“Holy shit. You have a crush on me!”

“Shut up,” she joked. “What are you gonna do about it, huh?”

He raised his eyebrows. “I'm going to take you on a fucking date when you get here, that's what I'll do about it. Sound good?”

She bit her lips and nodded. “I can check my schedule.”

“Oh, come on,” he whined lightly. “Really?”

“Yes, I’ll go on a freaking date with you, Clay. What kind of question is that?”

“Consent is key!!” he declared. “I'm not gonna force you to go out with me—”

“You'd have to force me not to,” she laughed. “But just to be very clear, do you see now that I meant it when I said you had nothing to be jealous of?”

He frowned seriously. “I'm really sorry. I know it's unattractive and unhealthy and I'm working on it, I really am.”

“Honestly, you've done pretty good, I think. I mean, I didn't even know you were jealous of Naomi until you told me. And you didn't blow up at Quackity… at least not during stream or in front of me, which shows you have some self control.”

Dream laughed through his nose. “I actually didn't yell at him for that at all. Just… pouted to George and Karl.”

“W-wait to KARL? Karl knows you like me? AND George? That means both of us told them how we felt and neither of them let us know!”

“They hate us,” Dream joked.

“Just for that, I'm not telling either of them about the date. Purely out of spite.”

“I made them swear they wouldn't tell you anything though. So I understand why they didn't say anything.”

Y/n hummed. “I guess I did the same… okay fine they're super loyal, perfect friends. Still annoying.”

Dream smiled at her attitude and her frown melted away.

“By the way, I never said you being jealous wasn't hot.”

Dream’s eyebrows shot up. “What the hell did you just say?”

“Unreasonable jealousy isn't but you sending me a hoodie just because you don't want to see me wear Karl’s is kinda…” she suddenly got shy at her words but still raised an eyebrow at him. “It's definitely attractive.”

Dream shook his head fondly. “You're going to kill me.”

*********

PREVIOUS | NEXT

taglist: CLOSED (bold couldn’t tag) @hydrate-tion @loraleiix @iamnothereatthemoment @charsdummb @jeyyes @notgeoreg @cerberus-hellhound @gaysludge @queestionmark @carnations-red @letsloveimagines @the-fictionwriters-hairdo @boiled-onionrings @fee-btheweeb @erwinss @just-a-stan @axths @kayleigh2703 @furiouspockettoad @sometimeseverythingsucks @powerpuffyn @tinyegg @millavalntyne @automaticcomputerpaper @nikkineeky @fivedicksinatrenchcoat @sprucekot @bellomi-clarke @possiblyanxioushuman @crybabyjabby @mushroom-main @hungoverhellhound @dreamyteam @kuroo-icedtea @stuffforreferences @menacingaesthetic @sapphic-soot @fangeekkk @haseulreturns @queenwastaken @sunbunniie @losingvienna @bi-narystars @zero-nightshade @erinitoburrito @sparklykeylime @youhyakuya @danny-devitowo @clubfairy @loser-keiji @oi-itsemily @alm334 @the-katastrophe @wreny24 @applecakeradio @unicornblood4ever @hehe-red @brendalopez99 @spacecluster @justonemoreepisode @strawbrinkofdeath @aikochan4859 @chaotic-tieflings @dreamslittlebitch @where-thesundoesntshine @jamiealenaa @unstableye @kageyamama-hinatatata @officiallyunofficialperson @secretly-a-weeb @localsimp @loxbbg @rhymeorreason1 @flubblubbb @kiritokunuwu @sylum @raining13lemonade @aiyncel @ghostfacefricker6969 @avengemepercy @modyoonie @givemeyourcrunchbars @donttellaweirdweakling​ @dreamiewrites @misfortunatem00n @mayempress @strang-ersclub​ @panic-at-space-camp​ @netheriteaxes​ @kaqinq​ @momo-has-a-gun​ @lunelicmoone​ @beller-18 @bluechocolatemint​ @mythicalamphitrite​ @crypticcandi​ @80sfeel​ @asianfrustration13​ @justanunknown​ @libbynotfound​ @osculatcr​ @bindythedemon​ @haikyall​ @hyuckslytherin​ @thatonearieschild​ @the-perfect-gemini​ @ialexabsuniverse​ @sleepingalaska​ @renjunniex​  @rebellionburnsthemup​ @moonchildwildx​ @sarcasticmichelle​ @carat-eri​ @ravennightingaleandavatempus​ @isthatyouritalian​ @cha0ticg0b1in​ @suwunarin​ @bxsmentchildxx​  @mintchip17 @vincent-stargogh​ @jules-skye​ @askgeoff​ @d-fendyr​ @diedestress​ @idiotinnit​ @gabbysblogthingy​ @call-me-soap​ @fujiapfel @stxrryb1tch​ @onlynarry​ @squarky-sheep​ @ecao @ok-honey @saltishima-rex​ @kodzukatcore​ @gwendolyn02​ @kiwismoothies​ @flippyninja​ @xfihvru @anqelanqel @letkeefeswear​ @cantaloupe-draws​ @what-is-the-creature-oh-glob @theboywhocriedlupin​

[dmsden]

A History Lesson - Looking back at D&D’s history

Hullo, Gentle Readers. Well, this is the 5th Monday in March, and that means I get to write about anything I want! It’s also my birth month, which means it’s my anniversary of getting into D&D (42 years!), and that has me feeling nostalgic. Coupled with a discussion I had recently with some friends, I thought it would be fun to look back at the various editions of D&D and give you all a bit of history. I’m not going to get into Gygax vs Arneson or any of that. I’m only talking about the published game itself, not its creators or its storied origins.

The original D&D (or OD&D as it’s sometimes called) came in a small box. It had three booklets inside - Men & Magic, Monsters & Treasure, and The Underworld & Wilderness Adventures - along with reference sheets and dice. Each was softcover and roughly the same dimensions as a DVD/BluRay case. The game was pretty rudimentary - for one thing, it assumed you already had a copy of Chainmail, D&D’s direct wargame predecessor. It also recommended you have a game called Outdoor Survival for purposes of traveling through the wilderness. It had only three classes - fighting man, magic-user, and cleric - and nothing about playing other races. It did have the insane charts that 1st edition would ultimately known for, and it was possible to play a pretty fun game of D&D with it, as its popularity would come to show.

The game expanded through similar chapbooks - Greyhawk, Blackmoor, Eldritch Wizardry, Gods Demigods & Heroes, Swords & Spells. With the exception of the last one, each brought new facets to the game - new classes like Thief and Monk, new spells, new threats. It was clear the game was going to need an overhaul, and it got one.

I consider this overhaul to yield the real “1st Edition”, as so much of the game didn’t exist in those original games. The game split into a “Basic” game, just called Dungeons & Dragons and Advanced Dungeons & Dragons.

The basic game was a boxed set that included a rulebook, a full adventure module, and dice...or, well, it was supposed to contain dice. The game was so popular and new in those days that demand for dice outstripped production. My copy of D&D came with a coupon for dice when they became available and a sheet of “chits” - laminated numbers meant to be put into cups (we used Dixie Cups with the name of the die written on it), shaken, and a random number pulled out without looking. It was meant to introduce new players to the game, so it was a trimmed down version. Races were human, elf, dwarf, and halfling, and classes were fighter, cleric, magic-user, and thief. The box only included rules for going up to 3rd level, with the intention that players would then graduate into AD&D. This is where I joined, with the old blue cover box set and In Search of the Unknown, before Keep on the Borderlands even existed.

AD&D was the game in its full glory. Along with the races I mention above, we got half-elves, half-orcs, and gnomes. The four basic classes also had sub-classes, like paladin and ranger for the fighter, druid for the cleric, illusionist for the wizard, and assassin for the thief. There were rules for multi-classing, as well as “Dual-classing”, a sort of multi-class variation for humans only, which, when done in the correct combination, could yield the infamous bard...which didn’t actually yield any bard abilities until around level 13 or so.

This edition had 5 different saving throws for things like “Death Magic”, “Petrification & Polymorph”, “Spells”, and so on. It had the infamous Armor Class system that started at 10 and went down, so that having a -3 AC was very good!  It also had specific attack matricies for each class; you would literally look on a table to determine the number you needed to roll on a D20 based on your class, your level, and your opponent’s armor class. It was fun, but it was very complicated.

It also had some, frankly, shitty rules. There was gender disparity in terms of attributes, which my group totally ignored. Because the game designers wanted humans to be a competitive the game, and because non-humans had so many abilities and could multiclass, non-humans were severely limited in the levels they could achieve in most classes. In fact, some classes, such as monk and paladin, were restricted only to humans.

As the years went on, things got a bit muddled. It probably didn’t help that the rules in Basic D&D and AD&D didn’t perfectly line up. In D&D, the worst armor class was a 9. In AD&D, the worst armor class was a 10. All of this led to an overhaul, but not one considered a separate edition. AD&D mostly got new covers and new books, like the Wilderness Survival Guide and Dungeon Survival Guide, Monster Manual 2, and the Manual of the Planes. It got a number of new settings, too. In addition to the default Greyhawk setting, we got the Forgotten Realms setting for the first time, details of which had been appearing in Dragon Magazine for years, thanks to the prolific Ed Greenwood. We also, eventually, got the whole Dragonlance saga, which yielded the setting of Krynn.

In this new version, Basic D&D broke off into its own game system to some degree. Elf, Dwarf, and Halfling started being treated like classes rather than races, with specific abilities at different levels. Higher level characters could be created using progressive boxes - Expert, Companion, Master, and Immortal, each with its own boxed set and supported by Mystara, a completely different setting that got its own updates over the years. It was odd, because D&D essentially was competing for players with AD&D, and I remember arguments with friends over which version was better (I was firmly in the AD&D camp.)

In 1989, when I was in college, they finally brought forth 2nd edition D&D. This streamlined things a little. Armor Class still went down, but now attack rolls boiled into a single number called To Hit Armor Class 0, or THAC0. It made the whole process of figuring out what you needed to roll a bit less cumbersome, but it was still a bit awkward. The classes got a lot of overhaul, including making Bard its own core class. But what I remember best about 2nd edition was the boom in settings. This was the age of settings, and many beloved ones got started, including Dark Sun, Planescape, Ravenloft, and Spelljammer.

It was also the age of the “Complete Handbooks”. They brought out splatbooks about every class and race in the game, as well as books expanding several concepts for the DM, such as the Arms & Equipment Guide, the Castle Guide, and the Complete Book of Villains. There were also splatbooks about running D&D in historic periods, such as Ancient Rome, among the ancient Celts, or during the time of the Musketeers. The game got new covers for the rule books again, and a bunch of books about options started coming out. It was a boom time for books, but many people complained there was too much.

Without going too deep, TSR ended up in severe financial troubles. They declared bankruptcy, and there was real fear of the game going away. And then Wizards of the Coast (WotC) stepped in. They helped TSR get back onto its feet, and they helped produce some modules specifically engineered to help DM’s bring an end to their campaign...possibly even their whole campaign world...because something big was coming.

That something big was, of course, 3rd edition D&D. The game got majorly streamlined, and many sacred cows ended up as hamburger. AC finally started going up instead of down. Everything was refined to the “D20″ system we’ve been playing ever since. Races could be any class. There were no level or stat limits for anyone. After years of the game being forced into tight little boxes, it really felt like we could breathe. I had stopped playing D&D, but 3rd edition brought me back into the fold. I often say that 3E was made for the players who’d felt constricted and wanted more flexibility.

The trouble with 3E, and its successor 3.5, is that it was still a dense and difficult game for newcomers to get into. It’s been acknowledged that D&D essentially created many of the systems we see and know in other games - experience points, leveling up, hit points, etc. But trying to break into the experience for the first time was difficult. The look of 3E was gorgeous, but I understood that it must seem awfully daunting to someone who’d never played.

4E and its follow-up, Essentials, was an attempt to course correct that. They tried to make this edition incredibly friendly to new DMs, and, frankly, they succeeded. By creating player classes and monsters and magic-items that were all very plug and play, they did a great job of creating a game that someone who had never DMed before could dive into with no experience or mentor and start a game pretty easily. Encounter design was given a lot of ease, and there were promises of a robust online tool system that would help out with many of the more tedious aspects of playing.

There was also a lot of shake up in terms of choices. Suddenly, new classes and races were proliferating like crazy. We got the dragonborn, the tiefling, and the eladrin right in the core book, but we said good-bye to the gnome and half-orc at first. Suddenly the warlock was the new class everyone wanted to try. We got paragon paths and epic destinies that would really shape a character as time went on. The game went very tactical, as well, which some of us loved. The concept of rituals came into the game. Later books like the Player’s Handbook 2 and 3 gave us back gnomes and half-orcs, and also gave us minotaurs, wilden, shardminds, and githzerai. We got new psionic classes, brand new class concepts like the Runeknight and the Seeker...

But there was a tremendous backlash. People felt that, in making the game so very plug and play, they’d taken a ton of choice away from the players. Without the tools (which were never that robust, frankly), it was almost impossible to navigate the massive panoply of options. And, worse, it was harder and harder to develop encounters without those tools. People complained that the game had gone more tactical in order to sell miniatures and battlemats. Given that I have never played the game without miniatures and battlemats (since I started in the days when D&D was still half-wargame), I found this odd, but I also understand my style of play isn’t everyone’s.

The one argument I will never understand is that it didn’t “feel” like D&D, or it was somehow ONLY a tactical game and not a role-playing game any more. Again, given that the original game didn’t even call itself a role-playing game, this felt odd. Personally, I roleplay no matter what game I’m playing. If I’m playing Monopoly, I’m roleplaying, doing voices, and pretending to be something I’m not. I honestly enjoyed 4E, and I know a lot of folks who did, too. A lot of it may simply come down to style of play. But I also enjoyed all the games that came before, including Pathfinder. To paraphrase the YouTube content creator The Dungeon Bastard, “Does your game have dungeons? Does it have dragons? Great. I wanna play.”

As a sidenote, in the months leading up to 4E’s release, a lot of internet videos were released by WotC emphasizing the nature of change and talking about differences in the rules. They also released some preview books showing the direction they were heading. WotC must have anticipated that people were going to find this edition very different indeed. They also cleverly brought in some very funny folks - Scott Kurtz from PVPOnline and Jerry Holkins & Mike Krahulik from Penny Arcade - and got them to play D&D for podcasting purposes. Looking back, this must’ve brought in a lot of listeners who might never have played D&D and given them a reason to try it out.

After its release, WotC clearly noted that missteps had been made, as this edition of the game was losing them players. They began work on what they referred to as D&D Next, and, this time, they did massive amounts of playtesting, some of which I participated in.

I don’t feel like I have to describe 5E to any of you, Dear Readers, as you could go to virtually any store and pick it up. I am a big fan of 5E’s simplicity and elegance, and I suspect this is the edition of D&D we’re going to have for some time to come, especially given its popularity. Given the effect of podcasts like Critical Role (and I might save an article on Critical Role’s importance to D&D until my next Freestyle article), D&D is likely more popular now than it’s ever been, with a much wider and more diverse audience than ever before.

I know I’m painting with broad strokes here, but I hope this was, at least, entertaining, and maybe you learned something, Gentle Readers. Until we next meet, may all your 20s be natural.

[gb-patch]

Ask Answers: January 17th, 2021 (Part 1)

More ask answers! It’s gonna be a lot today, so we’re splitting it into two.

i love Cliff and Kyra's relationship so much ?? even though they had issues they managed to work things out and remain friends through the years! it's so refreshing over the narrative of people resenting each other after they break up.. im kind of curious tho , do they see each other strictly platonic now or is there still something lingering?

Aw, I’m glad to hear you like their relationship. Their feelings are very platonic now. Kyra views him as an ex and co-parent and then a friend as time goes on. Cliff does struggle not to think of her as still his family, even though he’s not romantically attracted anymore. But he’s knows it might be crossing a line to be that attached to a woman who divorced him and so he tries to let her just live her own life.

Can i ask just how tall Cove exactly is in Step 3? And will he be even TALLER in Step 4? My short heart cannot handle this. (Also this game is absolutely flawless and I haven't been able to stop thinking abt it since I played. Planning on getting the dlcs soon, y'all did SO WELL!!!!!!!!!) 

Haha, thank you very much.

Step 1: 4'1 feet Step 2: 5'4 feet Step 3: 6'0 feet Step 4: 6'4 feet 

Hey! So, I know Steam is having its fall sale/boxing day sale or something so i was wondering if you guys were gonna participate in that?? I was thinking of buying XOXO Droplets (the extended version) but i didnt want to do anything before there was a potential sale. May seem like an odd question, but I was genuinely curious. I can't wait to play the full game when i get it tho :D

I’m afraid we have some things we wanna fix in XOXO Droplets before really promoting it/pushing it with sales, so for now it won’t be participating in Steam sales. Hopefully we can update it soon.

Hello I'm still trying to get the CG for Step 2-3 and didn't see or get it when I told Cove of the deal in the Dinner moment like your guide says. I got the achievement but no CG. Is there another choice I'm suppsed to make after telling him?

Make sure you go back to the house with Cove after he leaves and don’t stay in your living room.

* don't be suspicious* *don't be suspicious*  ...Hi, there's another way to pay for the Our Life +18 dlc besides Patreon? Patreon have very limited payment options and I've been struggling with the platform. Anyways, thanks for the amazing game I hope I could support any way ^u^

Haha, right now there isn’t anything specific, but once it’s finished in a few months we’ll look into other hosting sites.

do you think we can get another our life dlc plzzz i would pay so much for it <3 i want to see their life together when they have kids or pets or just live with the two of them and i really want them to adopt kids too since jamie is adopted :)

I’m afraid we likely won’t. As much as we love OL: B&A, we’ve gotta start putting our whole effort into new projects soon. Maybe someday we could come back and do special new content, but it’d be quite awhile after all the planned DLCs have released.

How do you delete a save file? 

On PC or Mac you hover over a slot and hit the delete key, or you can go into the saved data folder and delete the files directly. On Android I’m afraid I don’t know. You can save over them with something else, though.

this is like. totally embarrassing and silly to ask but im dying here; i love cove so much i wanna climb that boy like a tree. so basically what im asking here is like. will the nsfw dlc have explicit stuff or is it more like an implied kinda situation? cuz i want some full on nsfw shit im so thirsty for cove and only this can satisfy me

It’s truly 18+ and explicit with nude art and straightforward descriptions of sexual acts. That’s why we can’t release it as part of the main game, haha. I’m glad you’re into Cove~

Hello! I've really been enjoying Our Life and am noticing some animation changes with the update! I just had a question though. In Step 2 we meet Jeremy but I was wondering if he was only meant to appear in Step 2 as a typical mean kid or is there more we don't know? 

Jeremy is a horrible pill in Our Life, but he is also a beloved romance option as a teenager in our other game XOXO Droplets. His personality is quite different once he grows up more. I imagine Cove and the MC would be pretty surprised.

Hi! i absolutely adore our life so far and I can't wait to continue supporting the game with the upcoming dlc drops! i was just wondering if y'all were planning on uploading any art for steam icons/the steam point shop in general<3 

Thank you! And we might. But we’re first trying to focus on making a new game update since there are still some improvements we have in mind.

I hope this question doesn’t come off weird but would Cove be the type of guy to memorize your period? I imagine he’d be the kind of best friend/boyfriend who would keep track of your cycle to support you during it or something like that 

We’d be shy about it at first and avoid mentioning what he was doing, but he would try to keep track of it based on any insight the MC gave him. The longer you’re with him, the more it could be just a normal thing the two openly talked about.

Hi there, how often do you do auditions? I am a voice actor and would love to be part of a project ?

We usually have auditions two to three times a year. Our next planned casting call will be for side character in Our Life Step 4.

Are the 5 moments included in the Derek and Baxter DLCs different from the normal Step 2 and 3 DLC? And will they focus exclusively on Derek and Baxter respectively? I was a little confused when I read the DLC FAQ. Thanks! 

Mostly they’ll be completely new Moments that star Derek or Baxter. Though, for example, Derek’s DLC will allow you to take him to the Soiree. If you go with Derek that will remove your ability to go with Cove in the Cove Step 2 DLC.

Sorry if you've already said this, but how will your character transfer over to the patreon exclusive NSFW DLC?  Can it access your game memory or will you select traits your character showed and choices you made from a list? 

It’s a standalone event that happens for MCs who are in a relationship with Cove and have been dating him for a while. Other details about the MC/their dynamic with Cove will just be picked in the event itself. It won’t try to take data from a specific save in the actual game.

I love your games, but currently only have an Android. When will you put your other games on android? 

I don’t know. They might not able to be formatted for Android very well, unfortunately. We’ll see how much time we’ve got later this year to try figuring it out.

Thank you so much for all the questions :D

[kbsd]

not sure if you’ve answered this before, but what’s your process look like when you make an amv? i’m just curious and in constant awe of ppl who can make videos like you do :)

hello all!!! i have answered this before and i have a vid help tag with other asks i’ve gotten about stuff like this! but i’ve gotten several more messages along these lines so i’m just going to answer a bunch of them together (under a cut since i love to ramble about editing lol). i do just wanna say i’m definitely not the authority on video editing and obv everyone has their own techniques!

edit: i just finished typing all this up and it’s SO long so sorry in advance LMAO god bless anyone who reads this entire thing

so i work in news tv and we have a very specific workflow for writing scripts, sourcing video, producing, and editing. i’ve just applied that to making amvs! for every video i make, i copy the song lyrics into a google doc and adjust them to match the song i’ve cut (i often will trim songs for time and/or content purposes). then i start planning! i’ll mark down what clip i want to use for each lyric next to that line, and any sound bites i want to use (with episode numbers!). i’ll color code between video and sound bites and lyrics, so my scripts end up looking something like this (for my honeybee amv):

doing the planning ahead of time makes everything much easier when it’s a video that spans the whole show or involves a lot of sourcing, like honeybee or sports analogies. that way when i get to the actual editing process, i already know what i’m going to do and have a game plan. for videos like happy ending or believe it or not, where i’m mainly just pulling from a few episodes, i can just plan it in my head as opposed to writing it all down, and produce as i edit. obviously i do make in-the-moment decisions while editing—sometimes a shot doesn’t work the way i thought it would, or i go where the video takes me—but planning ahead definitely helps. i know some people use spreadsheets as well, with columns for lyrics, video clips, and sound bites if applicable. once you find a system that works, it actually goes pretty quickly.

as for sourcing clips themselves/finding clips within episodes, i talked about that here and kind of here. the short version is that transcripts are a must, and the supernatural wiki is hugely helpful by cataloguing all the hugs, prayers, phone calls, etc. in the show. gifmakers that tag episode numbers on their posts are your friends. it gets easier the more video you make—that’s another huge reason i make the google docs for each video (even the ones i plan in my head, i end up going back and making a loose script with episode notes just for reference). if i can’t remember where something is but i know i used it in another video, i can easily reference past scripts!

i also cut all my videos in the same project in premiere pro, so i can flip between them easily. instead of checking a past script, i can just go to the video sequence itself and copy the clip i’m looking for! this was especially helpful when i match cut together the 5x18 and 4x22 wall slam shots for my bestie video, and then stole it from myself for honeybee hahaha. at any given time i have at least 8 sequences open:

because of the sheer volume of videos i make, it’s worth it for me to download the entire show—i have all 327 episodes in HD, plus deleted scenes. if you think you’re only going to make a few videos, i’d start with scene packs. you can usually just google “destiel [or whatever ship/character you’re looking for] scene packs” and there will be any number of ones you can download. if you need other specific scenes, you can always download/torrent individual episodes or screen record netflix (that’s what i did before i got HD download links). i’m happy to share my links if you DM, but be warned it’s a lot of disk space (about 500GB on my hard drive). someone also compiled every destiel scene, downloadable here.

having every episode already loaded in premiere for all my projects also makes it a lot easier to source clips. once i use a clip in a video, i’ll put a marker on the episode file, so that after a while i have most of the important scenes/lines marked to easily find them. to give you an idea, this is my episode file in premiere for 12x10 lily sunder has some regrets (markers at destiel scenes, the car fight, hot girl cas, etc.). markers are the green tabs along the bottom:

premiere also lets you color code and name markers, so ONE DAY i will go back and color code them all. the ones above are all the same color, but in a perfect world, i’d have a myraid—for destiel shots like hugs, touches, looks; for important pieces of dialogue; for action shots; etc. but for now this works ok for me, so that’s a project for another time!

between detailed scripts, one giant premiere project, markers, the wiki, and my own memory, i have so many points of reference that i can usually find any clip i need in about 2 minutes max. sound bites are often harder to start out, or tiny specific shots i haven’t used before, and that’s when i turn to tumblr gifsets or beloved mutuals to crowdsource. but if you’re as obsessive about marking/keeping neat scripts as i am, it gets easier and easier with every video you make. that’s part of why i’m able to cut videos together so quickly. (also i want to stress i do this for a living and have to produce/edit a new piece for my show every day so i’m used to it. and compared to constantly updating content/sources and news that changes every day, 327 highly documented episodes that never change are much easier to handle hahaha)

this is all great for me since i make so many videos and plan to continue doing so, but if you’re only making a few, this level of work isn’t worth it imo. really it’s all about developing a system that works for you. whatever you do with episodes/sourcing, though, i cannot recommend planning things out in a script ahead of time enough. 

everything i just mentioned is producing, though. for the editing process, i usually do it in this order:

music first. any parts i want to cut, i make sure it all sounds smooth

then soundbites. i usually try to weave them into the lyrics—i have characters talk in breaks between lines or instrumental sections as much as possible. i’ll sometimes go so far as looped/extending an intsrumental part to make room for the soundbite i want there lol. if i do have dialogue over a line, i do the sound mixing/levels at this point as well to make sure everything is audible/one doesn’t overpower the other. (also i always include the video that goes with these bites when i drop them in, and decide later if i want to show the character speaking or have other clips cover the dialogue)

once i have all the audio locked in, then i bring in all my other video clips. sometimes i edit completely chronologically, sometimes jumping from section to section—it depends on the song or how i’m feeling

double check sound mixing. i usually listen to my videos through a few times, with headphones and without to make sure it’ll sound good no matter how people watch it

once i have picture and audio lock, i go through and color correct my clips. i’m basic and just use lumetri color in premiere, and usually just play with brightness, saturation, temperature, and tint until i like it

render and export! :)

i always have several audio tracks, but i try to keep my video tracks condensed. i’ll drop clips on a V2 level, and edit a section there, and drop the whole chunk down to V1 so i know it’s finished. that way when i leave and come back i can know where i left off/what’s done/etc. to give you an idea, this is the timeline for my what the hell video:

i always render as H.264 with high bitrate, and make sure to check “render at maximum depth” and “use maximum render quality” for the best quality. i’m sorry, but i don’t know what the equivalent options are in final cut, imovie, kdenlive, etc. i post on youtube mostly so i don’t have to sacrifice quality, but usually just using a lower bitrate will get you under the tumblr file size limit and it’ll still look good.

as for the anon who asked about “polishing”: first of all, thank you!! second of all, it’s in the details. all of this is a matter of taste and my own insanity, but here are some little things i always try to do:

after i color correct, i blur out any credits from the starts of episodes. i use gaussian blur for this, but really any blur tool works

as much as possible, i avoid clips where we see a character’s mouth move but don’t hear the words. in tv/film we call it “lip flap” and i just think it looks messy. also i’m trained to avoid it at all costs at work hahaha. it’s more for serious videos that this matters a lot to me (e.g. i think i did a really good job eliminating lip flap in my happy ending amv)—for comedy videos i don’t sweat it as much

i put audio fades on the start and end of every single audio clip i use, even if i don’t think i need it, to make sure everything sounds smooth

i use markers for timing, especially in action-y videos like what the hell. i’ll put a marker on the clip i’m using at the exact moment a punch lands, and in the song on the beat. if i have the magnet/snap in timeline tool on i can just easily snap them together instead of having to spend time finagling it

this is such a small thing but i dip/cut to black for a tiny bit at the start and end of every video. this way if i post with tumblr video player, there’s black between the loops, and it gives you a beat before the video restarts. i do this even on videos i post on youtube, just because i think it looks nicer/more professional

this is 1,500 words so i’m going to stop myself before i pull something. if you have follow-up questions feel free to ask and i’ll continue to add them to the vid help tag, but any more questions about sourcing clips or my process in general i’ll just link this post going forward. anyone who made it this far, i am sending to a telepathic kiss. thank you for reading and happy editing!

[foxymoxynoona]

It’s hilarious how we’re all assuming Sasha will be the one to get the STD. What if its Jungkook?

I think it’s because subconsciously, most of us might want her to be ‘punished’, or face some type of obvious repercussion for the break up and the many bad decisions she’s been making. Or maybe I’m wrong… and thinking too much.

Still haven’t read recent chapters. 😂 My self control should win me awards (lies). Foxy please update soon, I don’t know how much longer I can last 😭 😭 .

I just want all the angst to pass so I don’t end up disliking Sasha and unshipping them. The last chapter I read, I was actually hoping they never get back together or at least for the next five years. The toxicity was just too upsetting.

Anyway, on a serious note, please take your time and update as you can. Welp, this got longer than I intended. Hope you’re having a good day 🦊 .

🥂

I don't think you're thinking too much; at least not if you compare it to how much I thought about everything I put into this story! And I mean I have literally gotten multiple comments from people (serious or joking, they both kind of prove the same point...) who said Sasha deserves to get an STD.

You have really good insights when you send in comments so I'm going to hope this is ok in a response to you and elaborate a little more on a topic I get really excited analyzing and see at play right now with Flux...

Without referencing anyone's comments specifically, I'm just talking general trends, it's probably unsurprising to know that in my 11 stories over the last year and change, I have seen that BTS men can get away with WAY MORE "misbehavior" than the female OCs before I see escalated reader outcry. JK's non-con sexual acts in Lowlander didn't get the reaction that Isabella interrupting her own orgasm in Amended did. Obviously these incidents have context that also impact how we react to them, sure. And there's obviously a starting bias we have towards even fictional JK based on our love for real JK because we know I'm writing him with a good heart in my stories whereas you're meeting the OCs fresh, so this isn't a perfect comparison. But I do think it's hard to completely divorce the common sexist ideas the world has about female behavior and identity from the way we react to fictional female characters. I know I'm not perfect about it; a desire to look more closely at ways in which my own thoughts still reflect some of the very sexist ideas I was raised with was literally the starting of Amended! (And, arguably, I could write an analysis about how it still reveals internalized mysogyny through the narrative choices I made... 😬)

In general we tend to hold female characters to a higher bar of behavior and expect them to "know better" than male counterparts. This often holds even in a case like Flux where we know JK was raised by good parents and has seen good relationships modeled through them and his hyungs, and we also know Sasha does not seem to have had any good relationships modeled or have any specific family we know of who could have taught her anything healthy. I think she even said at one point (unless this is a spoiler? if so oops haha) that she's never seen a long, loving relationship. She's never had a relationship endure her having a mental health crisis. Her only long, healthy relationships are with three platonic friends, no romance or sex involved. Her family is three friends she met as a teenager who are similar to her in terms of age/experience/knowledge. But we expect her to model behavior she's never seen while giving JK more space to learn and grow through mistakes. I'm simplifying here because there are so many more details that can be brought in to understand this whole picture, some of which you all don't have yet, but I hope you get the gist of what I mean. Female OCs have to prove they deserve our beloved JK, but JK tends to get the benefit of the doubt unless I really swing him hard (Meadow and Sugar Fairy the reactions did manage to flip! Is it kind of interesting those were my most "well-behaved" female OCs too? Lowlander was sort of middling, some readers really loved Mishka and some found her behavior really off-putting in ways that are very interesting to analyze, even stopped reading because of her.)

Not saying every critical response is completely gender biased, or unfounded/unjustified, or a result of mental health stigma (which I didn't even get into in here but definitely comes up with some of my stories), and obviously responses will be messy because I intentionally try to write messy characters in messy scenarios. I try not to push ideas here and instead let my works speak for themselves and spend more time listening to reader understanding and response than proselytizing mine. Even when I disagree with the response in a specific comment, it's still interesting and enlightening to see other viewpoints and opinions. My own opinions are of course baised by my own life experiences and studies and I love having that broadened; in a way my stories are, for me, a big long discussion about ethics, identity, and society. LOVE IT.

Ok I'm sorry, I got carried away. It's just so interesting to me to get to see how people respond to my characters and events and how that changes over time and analyze how to impact or direct those feelings as a writer. I wish I could just give a readers guide of questions because I'd be so interested to read the think about the answers (not leading questions, genuinely curious questions like "What do you consider Sasha's many bad decisions?" and "What do you see as the differences in morality between Sasha having sex with Seojoon and JK having sex with the women in the hotel in Japan?")

OK I WILL STOP I AM SORRY

[mdelpin]

The Red Dragon - Chapter 31.5

AO3 | FF.Net | Tumblr: Ch1 | Ch 31

A/N: Hello everyone! Dein here with a very small teaser update. This is just to get you in the mood and whip up some excitement for the coming conclusion to my wonderful wife’s amazing story, The Red Dragon.

She has been hard at work for the last several weeks pounding out the ending. So many ideas generated, refined, and in many cases discarded. More than once, the twisty little trail led directly back to the original points covered in her outline!

The buildup chapter(s) and climax have been written. There was a short period where she was unable to form words when she saw what I did with Gray’s magic, but she got better! The only part that remains is the epilogue, so give her some love and encouragement to wrap it up and start posting! :)

0-0

Acnologia flew high, hugging the upper layer of cloud cover as much as possible. His hungry gaze followed the contour of the land racing below him as he hunted. He was not focusing on any specific details. Rather, he was looking for motion, a speck that would be the form of his hated foe winging his way home to his beloved husband.

Fury burned through him, warding off the bitter chill of the altitude while he glided from thermal to thermal. At one point, he momentarily faltered as he tried to use his non-existent foreleg to adjust his balance, and the weakness caused him to growl.

The war may be over… it was absolutely over since he had devoured the souls of the last of his erstwhile renegades and bathed in their blood before traveling here to assume the role of Logan, but he would not be denied his vengeance.

“The son of Igneel will die by my claw, and then the father will meet his delayed fate soon after.”

Acnologia had traveled north for dozens of miles at this point. He worried that he may have missed the fire dragon’s passing. However, just then, the black dragon saw something below. It was not motion, but it called for his attention nonetheless. A faint glimmering ribbon wending its way from the horizon to the north where the coast lay, and traveling in a direct path back the way he had come.

The ribbon was not cloud or smoke or any form of matter. It was the faintest trace of magic, picked out by his senses, which had been empowered by his massacre of the renegades. Acnologia descended and approached the ribbon. It remained vague and hard to discern, but as he drew near, he caught the faint whiff of Natsu’s hated scent. There were several others mingled with it. At least one other dragon, and several humans with the perfume of dragon magic.

The black dragon wheeled about and resumed his previous altitude as he began following the trail. He had to hold back a roar and settled instead for a viscous growl.

“I have you now, young whelp. You will suffer for your insolence, and those with you will share your pain!”

[terrainofheartfelt]

9, 11, & 16!

9. Tag 3 fic writers you think are underrated/unknown in the fandom/fanfiction community.

@vanderwoodlings: I haven’t read her latest milofic yet bc I know it’s going to wreck me but her characterization is always on POINT like, this one about the mains reading Inside? Wrecked me.

@witandwaldorf they haven’t updated recently, but they have these really sweet, fluffly bubbly romcomedy premise aus that always make me smile.

Maybe bc I’m like, a babe in the woods in this fandom, so I'm late to the game, but I think we should all give Sophia_Bee some more love. I’m not sure if they’re even on tumblr, but I really enjoy their fic and return to it a lot. Especially this 5x14 au where Blair and Dan run away to the Dominican Republic. Hella romantic. Hella angsty. Love it.

(also because I’m a newb: to me, you, all-knowing S, are Fandom Famous and established and beloved but just in case anyone reading this post needs to hear it: Go to strideofpride’s profile on ao3. Do it right now. You’re welcome.)

11. How do you come up with your fic titles?

I’m a song lyrics titler mostly. Very Basic of me. I don’t really listen to music while writing (because my lizard brain doesn’t like that), but I do a lot of planning and plotting and thinking about a story while listening to music, and my titles usually come from one of the songs that is on one of my numerous gg fan playlists. But, when I’m feeling extra pretentious, or I have a very specific idea in mind, I’ll quote of bit of poetry. Like in the LW au: “histories of the happy band” is a line of poetry by Jo in the novel, and the chapter titles are lines from the opera libretto.

16. Do you research for your fics? If so, how deep of a rabbit hole have you gone down by accident when researching?

I do do some research when there’s something I’m not too sure about, and I want to get right because I actually am very afraid of someone calling me out for a factual inaccuracy in my silly stories about fake people kissing (which has happened, rip me)

The most research I’ve done is for the LW AU (because it’s a period piece), and for MoF because there’s so much travel & location specific detail that I wanted to get right, and not be the like, ignorant country bumpkin american. Those were probably my biggest rabbit holes, I’d just study Paris on google maps and click through things and be like, “oh! I went there once…”

Fic Writer Ask Game:

[nuttdepikabnha]

Why Hanta Sero should be in Ones Justice

Anime spoilers??? And cussing. Please exuse any typos I may have missed. You have been warned

If you follow me you would know that I fucking love hanta sero

He's wonderful and if you don't think so, that's perfectly fine

What I'll be talking about is why he should be in the game and how weird it is that he isn't, and different combat moves and in game moments that the creators could add with his dlc.

Note, I do not have the game myself, but I've seen enough videos to know how it works for the most part. If there's anything I'm missing please fill me in

Let's get started I'm ready to rant

First off, they have characters that we see at most two or three times that for some reason are in this game.

Take example, the meatball man that was in the way of Bakugo, Kirishima, and Kaminari during the licencing exam.

We only see him for two scenes and he's not important at all.

Sure we can argue that sero isn't important to the plot either, but neither is Mina, jirou, tokoyami, mineta, twice, Mr. Compress, ect, but they ended up in the game because they are beloved by the fans and we see them enough to know exactly who they are.

It also baffles me how characters like rappa and that one villan during the kota arc got into the game as well.

They were one time villains that we don't actually know anything about and are just there to stand in the way and not add any plot

Now people might get mad at me,

"But! What if they appear and become important later and we just haven't seen it in the anime???"

Well the game follows the anime.

The story mode follows specifically where the anime is at.

You're also thinking,

"If you don't think one time villains shouldn't be in the game, what about overhaul???"

Overhaul was more of a threat and appears longer than the other mentioned villains.

The characters we follow at the point have to actively look for him.

His actions effect the rest of the story because of eri.

The same reasons go for stain.

He fits into the roster because he is definitely more memorable and leaves a great impact as well.

One more rediculous fucking example of an unnecessary character added to the roster is gang fucking orca.

I could name way more pros that deserve to be in the game but nope. We get a pro hero we honestly don't care for compared to others.

We care more about pros like present mic and midnight, who have appeared many times and left a larger impact on the series.

In conclusion to this section,

It's rediculous that the game has characters most people don't care about and the game doesn't need, so it's confusing why they don't add sero, a character who appears way more often, got 18 on popularity polls TWICE IN A ROW, and adds a little more to the series. Even if it's a one liner or two.

NEXT SECTION WHERE I GEEK OUT ABOUT POTENTIAL MOVES HE CAN HAVE!! LETS GOOO

I'm not sure how to start this section so I'ma just be straight forward:

If you don't know how to make his moves..

Just👏inspire👏from👏Tsuyu👏asui👏👏👏

Let me explain,

The two actually have very similar quirks. They can use their quick to trap others, they both move around in the air at ease, and can throw people or objects.

They can be the same type of fighter

WHEN HE ENTERS A BATTLE-

He walks up, does a little stretch while saying something confident:

"This'll be a walk in the park!!" Something like that

Once the stretch is over he closes his helmet and goes into a fighting stance

MOVES HE CAN DO:

There should be a combo attack where he shoots his tape to the ceiling and pulls himself forward, kicking the opponent then landing, having his tape unstick to the ceiling and go back into his elbows.

This attack could be used as long distance, if you are a good distance from the enemy, and short distance

Normal single button short distance attacks could be him normally punching. His quirk wouldn't be too well for close combat so he can punch and kick as his heart desires

Long distance can be him wrapping the opponent in tape and swinging them to throw them into a wall.

Just like tsu does, like he did with rocks, and just like he tries to do to todoroki during the sports festival

His plus ultra move could go like this:

He straps the opponent in tape then swings them around really freaking fast to the point they are in the air,

He slams them into the ground by grabbing the tape and pulling it down. The person breaks the ground in slow-mo as the hit thing rises up.

I'm not entirely sure if you can dodge your character normally by rolling or something, but sero's dodge move would just be swinging out of the way.

If you swing out of the way and press an attack button, he can kick the opponent from behind then land on his feet

OK SO YOU KNOW THE CUTSCENES WHEN YOU ADD SIDEKICKS AND DO PLUS ULTRA THEY WORK TOGETHER????

OK that for sero would be with Midoriya and Uraraka

But... Mina and Kaminari???"

YES I would love that BUT this would make more sence because they have worked together before for the hero license exam.

The cutscene with Bakugo, Kirishima, and Kaminari HEAVILY recreates the scene during the license exam where they worked together, (with the game changing it up so they can all attack)

The same thing can happen for sero, uraraka, and deku because of how they worked together at the exam.

(I had to rewatch the scene for these specific details. It gave me serotonin ( ꈍᴗꈍ)

Ok so I'm gonna do this rp style to make it easy..

"You sure this plan is going to work?"

Sero walks in sight and looks past the camera before uraraka comes into view and nods

"Let's do this" she says with confidence

"Alright fine"

The two run out of view as deku comes into the screen and runs towards the opponent, keeping them destracted by running around them and landing a couple hits, showing the hit count on the side.

Sero comes into view and shouts at deku to carry him

They jump away upwards and the opponent's sight follows them and sees boulders taped together above their head.

Deku jumps on top of the gathered boulders and crushes the opponent and the ground, once again in slow-motion and the hit number going up quickly. Uraraka cheers in the background as this happens.

Basically this but the boulders are taped together and are trying to crush the opponent, not capture them

Ok I'm going to answer my own questions about this:

Why is sero being carried?

Yes it reflects what happens in canon but it can also be helpful with careful thinking.

If sero was standing around while deku would kick the boulders, the opponent would have an opportunity to attack sero. But in order for their plan to work, the opponent would have to be standing right under the boulders.

If he were being carried, the opponent would be more focused on them and stay put.

He also adds to the weight of making the boulders go down and crush the opponent.

CONCLUSION???

Hanta Sero is a very minor character, mainly for background and comic releif, but he might as well end up on the roster of the my hero game.

His abilities would work well in the fighting game and a lot of people like him enough for him to be recognizable.

The game will let characters who have less than two scenes into the game, so they should have a beloved character that has way more moments and is more well known through the series

There are different ways the creators can have fun messing with his quirk and teaching fans new things about him.

The new dub update came with new voicelines, and those can definitely help us learn about his character and just have fun listening to conversations he might have with fellow students.

Omg thank you so much if you read this all the way. I really hope they add him.

THE PETITION :00

https://www.change.org/p/byking-add-hanta-sero-as-dlc-to-my-hero-one-s-justice-2?original_footer_petition_id=21912577&algorithm=promoted&source_location=petition_footer&grid_position=4&pt=AVBldGl0aW9uAEc0TgEAAAAAXq2XfIIo54wyOWIwZTdiYw%3D%3D

Ok I'll stfu now lol