#at some point I'll stop blocking them and then they'll win

[deusetco]

the amount of sexy girl bots that have tried to follow me so far is getting embarrassingly close to the amount of girls i've ever actually talked to irl

[freshie44]

Episode 8 Spoilers

Cut Off

Welcome to HEEL CITY Y'ALL

As you probably noticed I didn't do one last episode, and the reason was that there wasn't much to say that I haven't already said. I'll talk about last episode elimination at the end but moving on to the new tiers. I order them by the idea that if you told me you came from the future and told me they won the season what my reaction be.

Top 2

Ashley & Alec: I am a firm believer that in this season early plays matter and should be REWARDED! I almost view this season through the lenses of a blow off PPV like Wrestlemania. We are building the story blocks that will be the foundation of the finale. These two got the best narrative. A girl who was an early boot 1st season and a man who got tricked out of the finale. Both have seem to learn from their first outing. Both run their respective teams and will be the faces of the FACE vs HEEL forces. No matter who wins between these two no one goes home feel the other didn't deserve the prize just as much as their favorite.

Backups

Aiden and Tess: They are in the ire of a fresh heel and are not in the most stable of standings in the game. But have focus and a good rival to feud with that could create some magic in the narrative. Jake v. Aiden & Tess v. Gabby. Jake gone heel and is being a brat, Aiden been putting up with it and seeing him retaliate will make good head vs head to see who stays and who goes. While Tess has a more philosophical feud with Gabby , she'll want to be friends and she probably not going to be able to stop an enrage Gabby with just words. Could be another fun match for survival.

Ok, but really? Jake - I know people like Jake I understand the appeal. I think the heel turn will be good for him. But he a brat! I don't like petty! Maybe that the reason you like him and I agree it going to be fun. But I'm backing Aiden any day of the week and not just because I'm bias because trans.

Grett_ I'm not opposed to it, could be fun seeing her rising over her terrible ex. But where the foundation? Where the focus? How does she turn this minor feud into a game winner? Yes I want her to destroy Yul but I don't think she the main eventer. She in the mid card not the blow out match. Maybe that because Yul doesn't make sense to me as the main event feud but that the lot for now.

Ally - she got something foundation wise, but like really? We wrote that Ally and Hunter fallout and looked at that and said yeah this is good opener to her rise to the top. No, no it isn't. She'll need much more in my opinion to take that prize.

Gabby- Look Gabby fans I get it, you been on crumbs for 7 episodes and now you all been present a feast. I'm happy for you. But those 7 episodes happened. She doesn't get to skate by on nothing and get rocketed to the moon. She going to have to work for it, should she flourish yes, but you got to address the fact the foundation not there before she gets that title shot.

Excuse me?!

Tom - Tom fans like do any you think he going to win the big one, like honestly? Like he playing nothing but himself. He got carried here by feud with Jake for drama points. He the face for the heels to chew up and spit out.

Riya - Doesn't feel like a finale villain.

Yul - X-PAC heat, aka GO AWAY HEAT

Eliminaitons

Ellie had this one coming, revival maybe, but since it heel city I think they'll bring back heroes not villains.

Fiore kind of lame elimination. Kind of felt she was just here on fame, she had some good moments but kind of a middling exit.

Last Episode | Next Episode

[nancypullen]

Whatcha' Doing?

I eased into Sunday morning (that reminds me of a Lionel Richie song) and plan to spend the day doing as I please. The house is mostly clean. I could mop, but why would I? I need to dust in our bedroom, but what's one more day? I'm declaring this a day of rest and relaxation. I may toodle into Easton and treat myself to a lipstick at Ulta or hit the Target Halloween section and see what needs to come home with me. Or maybe not. I'm feeling lazy. I'm also feeling frugal- do I need a new lipstick? No. Do I need Halloween decor? Well, yes, but I won't die without it. It would just make me very, very happy. Better stay home. We'll probably go walk through the auction house and see what treasures are on the block this week. I saw this pretty cupboard on their website. It would be nice in the grandgirl's room but I'd have to get rid of her reading fort to make space and she's not ready for that. I'll let someone else love it.

Speaking of loving things, I'm still in a one-sided romance with my pumpkin plants. They look so healthy and beautiful and I just know they'll break my heart. According to experts, this stuff is a must.

I've grown pumpkins successfully in the past without using it, but I'm not taking any chances this year. Yesterday I gave them all a good drink and marked the calendar. I'll do that every two weeks as instructed, and send a plea to the universe to give me pumpkins. Once there are blooms I'll probably have to get out there with a paintbrush and pollinate them myself. If these things fail it won't be from lack of effort on my part.

Lack of effort....that made me think of my hair. It always comes back to my hair, doesn't it? *sigh* After getting several inches cut off a couple of weeks ago I keep hearing, "It must be easier." No, it's not. My hair is never easy to beat into submission. In fact, length and weight make it slightly easier. Without weight my hair springs into action, ready to fight me. Losing a lot of hair does make my drying time a bit shorter, so I like that. I'm okay with it at this point, but I'll never be in love with my hair. Having said all of that, and accepting that it is what it is, I had a moment on Friday evening that made me want to shave my head. I was invited to dinner with a group of women that I like. They range in age from late twenties to mid-sixties. We cover every bit of the maiden-mother-crone span. I can't say that I have a lot in common with any of them, but there's something to like about each and every one. I was comfortable, relaxed, having a nice time...when someone mentioned my haircut. I agreed that, yes, I'd taken off a lot of length (every woman there has long hair) and that I've decided to stop coloring. One exclaimed that now I look like Paula Deen and they all agreed.

Paula. Deen. I'm not knocking her, I just don't want to look like her. The sad part is that I think they're right.

I just can't win at this hair game, y'all. Did I mention that not one, not two, but three different library patrons told me that I remind them of Dolly Parton? I just don't see it. A large bust and a massive amount of blond hair, sure -but not a single similar feature otherwise. I love Dolly, but I do not swan around town in sequined jumpsuits with my hair teased to the heavens. Why would anyone say that? Prior to getting my hair cut I entertained the thought that I'd just let it get even longer and spend the rest of my years with a long white braid. I'll bet if I did that people would tell me I'm a dead ringer for Willie Nelson.

Not gonna' lie, I think I look more like Willie than Paula. Maybe folks should just keep their unflattering comments to themselves. There's a thought. From auctions to pumpkins to hair, once again I've taken you on a tour of the construction zone that is my brain. Piles of rubble, some stuff half finished, but there's always a plan. A loose plan, and subject to change, but still a plan. Before I wrap up this nonsense, I'll share what I'm reading. Haven't done that in ages and so far this book is interesting enough to share. I say "so far" because I'm only a couple of chapters in.

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER • NAMED A BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR SO FAR FOR 2024 BY THE NEW YORK TIMES BOOK REVIEW • A “thrilling and superbly crafted” (The Wall Street Journal) account of the most momentous voyage of the Age of Exploration, which culminated in Captain James Cook’s death in Hawaii, and left a complex and controversial legacy still debated to this day. “Hampton Sides, an acclaimed master of the nonfiction narrative, has taken on Cook’s story and retells it for the 21st century.”—Los Angeles Times

I really enjoy non-fiction and I'm sometimes embarrassed by what I don't know, or should have already learned. This is a fascinating account of someone we've all heard of, read about, but I had stored away only basic facts in my brain. Very interesting! This is where I'll leave you. It's time for a little Sunday lunch and then we'll mosey over to the auction house. Hope I find treasure. I'm sending out loads of love and wishing you a relaxing and peaceful Sunday. Stay safe, stay well. XOXO, Nancy

[thedepressedjuggalette]

Me talking with my anxiety-riddled brain.

My Brain: *constantly thinking of how would be best to reply to the weirdo stalking my page* Me: You know this is kind of stupid. My Brain: What is? Me: Replying to that stalker. My Brain: How so? Me: Remember last time? The dude stalked my great aunt's house, my online activity, my workplace, my university... legitimately everything. The dude would twist words and make it sound like I'm a monster and tricked everyone we knew into thinking we were constantly sending him death threats and shit. My brain: What does that have to do with this? Me: Everything. This guy is starting here, what is stopping him from trying to track everything I do digitally until he finds me and shoots me for daring to like some random. My Brain: Are you sure that isn't just me being anxious-- Me: Bro I'm a fucking Hispanic Ace Woman, I can't be too paranoid considering that Republicans think that anyone that isn't so pale people you disappear in a white background is some illegal immigrant. They're even trying to convince people that Vivziepop of all people is an illegal immigrant. I'd rather not risk my life. My Brain: But they're not understanding-- Me: Look I don't owe anyone explanations, and I don't need to waste my valuable time arguing with someone online. Hell, I wouldn't be surprised if they take this as a win and keep stalking me. It's their choice if they don't want to have a life. It is their choice to waste their entire life hating one person. It's their choice to waste their life hating me because I won't bend the knee to them. They can waste their time. I'm not wasting mine. My Brain: But- Me: They pretend like FNGR didn't go on hour-long transphobic tirades when making hate and rant videos about Lily. They pretend that I didn't say that I thought Lily was in the wrong when biting off that artist's head. They pretend that what Lily said to that artist was worse than what the Steven Universe Fandom did to a literal CHILD. And they can't get it through their THICK FUCKING SKULLS that if they're telling me the absolute put their life on the line deadass truth and actually have a mountain of evidence... then I'd LOVE to see Lily behind fucking bars. I'd LOVE IT if they were to have a court case going and have it be all on the public Youtube sphere like the fucking Iilluminaughtii shit going on right now. My Brain: True... Me: yeah but here's the problem, they never show it to me. They just EXPECT me to believe them and take their words at face value. I mean yeah, Lily is a dick half the time, especially in the past. She was on some fucking rage timing that you'd think she was constantly playing Cuphead, but that's why I never understood why she didn't just only talk to close friends and just toss the whole Discord Server idea into the fucking trash. I don't see the point in even interacting with fans at all for any fucking public figure. It always seemed like a disaster waiting to happen. I mean fans are ALWAYS waiting for their favorite idol to mess up one time so they can have an excuse to maul that person alive. I mean look at Selena. The most beautiful Mexican-American artist of all time and she was MURDERED BY HER NUMBER ONE FAN. Yolanda Saldívar still has people waiting to fucking shoot her ass for what she did to Selena. To think, she murdered Selena over MONEY. My Brain: So we just stop responding? Me: Yeah, they're going to keep on expecting and believing the worst of me. That's how every stan is. I mean google is free, it's easy as fuck to find the website of the Canadian police! My Brain: Okay! Okay! Yeah. You're right. This is all stupid. We need to just ignore them. Me: Yeah, ignore them like how they'll ignore all the links and stories here because Lily is their Lolcow and they are going to keep stalking her. That's a fact. I'm going to just not engage. If they keep trying to spam me, I'll just find new ways to block them. Better than wasting my time responding. My Brain: But they are right about the whole re- Me: Yeah! I already deleted it.

[shadowqueen402]

Amaunts Fatale: Part 7

(Meanwhile with Balan's group)

Balan shot more bullets at Jackle. "You all will surrender," Wizeman said to Balan, Leo, and Aria. "I will see to it." He pulled out his weapon and struck them. Balan quickly blocked Wizeman's attack, struggling to get the upper hand. NiGHTS clashed with Reala.

"I'm not having you interfere with our goals!" NiGHTS said. "We're stopping you and Wizeman and that's final!"

"Never!" Reala said. "You cannot win! Once Balan's clan is defeated, you're going back to Master Wizeman." He raised his weapon up, ready to strike. But he was stopped when Aria defended NiGHTS.

"Absolutely not!" Aria said, pointing her revolver at Reala. "You will not harm NiGHTS!" This got Reala to stop. Normally, he would have attacked anyone that was in his way. Humans, included. But for some reason, he couldn't…bring himself to do so with Aria.

"Curse this feeling…" He grumbled to himself, averting his eyes and gritting his teeth. He hated admitting it, but…he found himself growing soft…

"I'll find those other girls, Master Wizeman!" Jackle said as he flew off, causing Wizeman to hum in suspicion.

(Meanwhile back at Lance's hideout)

"I found a hidden exit," Iben said. "We can show you the way. But there are three things that you must know."

"What's that?" Emma asked.

"First, you have to remain calm at all times." Iben had a serious frown on her face. "Do not show your negative emotions. That's what attracts the Nega bosses, Lance's henchmen."

"They work for Lance?" Emma was curious.

"Yes," Iben replied. "Secondly, you must not let others know where you're going. They'll let Lance know and you'll be in trouble."

Emma nodded.

"And finally, learn how to hide in plain sight," Iben advised. "Change your hairstyle, dye your hair, wear a different outfit, whatever it takes. But you must blend in with the crowd. Yuri, Cass, and I will go with you."

"I hope Leo is okay," Emma said. "I'm really worried about him."

"I-I'm sure that he's worried too," Yuri said. She turned to Iben. "Think you can lead the way?"

"Follow me." Iben motioned for the three girls to follow her.

Aria belongs to me.

[mack3030]

Adios.

I'm gonna keep it short. I joined this conversation hoping to make a difference and encourage a community to stand up for the values it started with. I joined hoping that somehow, someway, we could reverse the damage brought on our community by paywalls and the choices these "creators" have made. But today, I have officially given up the fight. Ironically, it's not the doxxing that did it. It's not the threats, or the multiple anons. It's this... Even with all of this absolute garbage, Cowbuild still gained followers. Yes. You heard me, she gained them. She made money off of the harrassment and victimization of not one, but TWO people. And the problem is, there's still people defending her. Even though her behavior is absolutely disgusting, there are still people who feel it's warrented. That pixels are worth making another human being feel unsafe. There comes a point where you realize that things are so broken they can't be fixed. Maybe this is my rose-colored glasses speaking, but I always thought that at some point enough people would come to a realization it was time to stop this BS and decide as a community to not allow this. But the truth is, that there is almost this craze, or addiction to custom content in this community to the point that it blocks out all reason. And the sad thing is, that even "pirates" experience it as much as paywallers do. Being mistreated almost as much if not more by people who are so hungry for CC they will risk the safety of others to get their fix. Damn the rules and consequences. So I'm gonna answer a few questions before I head out: Q: Does this mean Cowbuild wins? A: It depends on if you guys let her and those like her. In the end, it's now y'alls community to flush down the tube or not. You guys can decide if you want this crap to stand or not. But I can't fight it anymore, as I see it as a losing battle. Q: What about your posts, account and your cc tracker? A: For shits and giggles they'll stay up. Feel free to reblog and cite tham if you decide you want to start fighting the fight I have given up. But just know there's risks involved and don't burn yourself up.

Q: Will Dollhouse Mafia still be around? A: Yep. I'll be there too for a bit but we've got a staff for a reason, so I'm letting them handle things as I step back from the sims in general. Don't worry, they'll keep that ship more than afloat. They're good peeps. Q: But I'll miss talking to you! You were my friend! A: If you don't have my discord, feel free to send me an ask and I'll reply privately with my handle. And well, everyone's got my facebook now. LOL. Just send me a message with how you know me and who you are. :) With that, I'm done. Feel free to still sign the petition, on the off chance EA decides to give a damn.

[ye4gerismarchives]

the bachelorette chp 4, p1: visiting connie’s family

an: hey y’all! this coming to a close end 💀 i mentioned this in a different post but i will not be active for a while. i’m traveling! i know y’all are rolling your eyes and groaning rn because that means a bachelorette chapter won’t be dropping for a while. i’m getting started on your next date and i’m hoping to get it done by tomorrow. it should be the shortest date! i’ll be working on your final date during on my trip and it should be done by the time i comeback! but i definitely will have the boys and the gang answer your questions and read your thoughts! link at the end of the chapter!

tags: black, fem reader

tag list: @taybird

Things were now different since proposals were nearing. From now on, there were no more breakfasts with Mikasa and Sasha.(why did i lie?)They were sent away so that they would intervene with your 'boyfriends'. And even if they were around, you wouldn't have been able to catch them.

Today you were woken up early because you would be traveling to Regako to meet Connie's family. You were already familiar with Connie's family, so he already had an upper hand.

Connie was very excited to get out of the house once more and to see his family. He was doing this with you, so it made things better.

"Martin and Sunny are gonna have so many questions, you know?"

He had been driving for an hour and there were a few minutes to go. In the past hour, you and Connie joked about a few things and then you napped.

"Yeah," you reply.

"My mom never lets them watch dating shows but for this time only, they're allowed to. So, they're curious. They'll probably ask how we're allowed to be in love...cause we're friends. And they'll be curious about being on camera as well.

You purse your lips. "Connie, you're one of my three boyfriends. Yeah, you're my friend but you're my partner too. In a week, if you end up staying, you'll be proposing to me, and if I say yes, you'll be my husband. You need to let go of this 'friend' thing and actually be my boyfriend."

Connie is silent for a moment. He opens his mouth again but his voice is quiet. "It's kind of hard to do that when there are two others. This whole thing has been easy for Jean and Bertholdt. They're die-hard romantics. I'm...I was your friend. I only know how to be friendly with you."

"So, are you saying you aren't into me romantically or what? We don't have to do this. We can drop you off at home and I'll go back to the mansion."

"That's not what I'm trying to say. y/n...I do want a future with you, I just don't have that same advantage as Jean and Bertholdt. And I mean...wouldn't you want your spouse to be your best friend and not a stranger?"

He was right. Bertholdt and Jean could do everything in their power to make you theirs but you don't know them.

"Connie, if I wanted, I'd stop everything and marry you right now."

Connie looks over at you and smiles. "I was hoping you could say that."

"I love you."

Connie's face drops. "Huh?" He slightly swerves on the road. You grab onto the upper car handle and giggle. "I love you, Connie."

This was the first contestant that you admitted you loved.

"Love you, too," Connie replies. You weren't sure if he meant it because he didn't include an 'I' but the rest of the time you spent with him would determine if he truly loved you.

It was still daytime when Connie finally reached his house. The camera team was right behind.

"You know...I don't feel so comfortable with Martin and Sunny being on camera. I mean, what if I don't win? It'll be so embarrassing for them," Connie said.

"They're kids. I think they're facing will be blocked out. Don't worry," you reassure him. You get out of the passenger seat, so you could get the suitcase in the back. Connie popped out of nowhere. Your hand was reaching for the trunk and he grabbed it. "Don't worry about it. I'll get it, ok? Let's just go say hi to my family and get things over with."

Connie didn't let go of your hand and lead you to the front door. The camera team followed behind and other crew members continued to prepare themselves.

Connie rang the doorbell and as soon as that happened, you could hear fast footsteps approaching the door. You could only assume that it was one of the kids. The door swung open and your prediction was right. The person in front of you was Sunny, who was now eight. She was the darkest of her siblings and her hair was in locs. But most importantly, she was adorable and had the biggest smile on her face.

Martin came up behind her. He was thirteen, brown-skinned, and was growing his curly hair out. "Hi, y/n," he greets you. "Damn, so no 'hi, Connie. We miss you big bro'?" Connie cuts in. Martin rolls his eyes and Sunny greets her older brother and jumps into his arms. "You're getting heavy! At some point, I won't be able to carry you anymore!"

The image of Connie and his sister turned into Connie and your possible child. You could see him not struggling to hold your infant and throwing them midair. You'd like to think that baby would be happy and wouldn't complain for most of their life. You imagined the baby having your looks and Connie's personality.

Your daydreaming was interrupted when Martin tugged on your hand. "My parents in the kitchen. Come say hi."

Of course. One thing about the Springers is that they love to eat and feed other people. During the holidays, Connie's mom would make food and give meals out to the less fortunate and Connie's dad was a monster on the grill. Before the show, you would come over and you would leave with like a month's worth of food. The Springers were also party people. They'll celebrate anything. These were the people who would probably play a part in wedding planning but let's not get ahead of yourselves.

(EXTENDED PART)

The Springers had sat you down in their dining room and the camera team wasn't too far behind. Mrs. Springer sat in front of you and was ready to start asking questions.

"How have you been? I've been keeping up with the show but...how've you been?" she starts. "I'm doing just great Mrs. Springer. Kicking out three guys does make me feel lighter," you joke.

"Oh good! I did like that Eren boy though. He's so handsome."

Mr. Springer nudged his wife and she rolled her eyes. "Should we start planning for your wedding?" he asks.

"Well, I don't have a fiancé yet. But do start expecting an invitation. Even if I don't end up marrying Connie, I do want you all there. You all mean a lot to me."

The older Springers let out an 'aw’.

"Can I be a flower girl?" Sunny asked. "I'll have to ask Levi but I would love for you to be my flower girl," you reply. The thought of that possibly evil little man did bring a nasty feeling in your mouth.

"So, how long do you plan on staying?" Mrs. Spinger asks. You and Connie looked at each other. Connie decides to answer this question. "Just for tonight. She has to meet another family member tomorrow."

The faces of the Springer family drop. "Oh...you don't think this is going too fast?"

"It's...it's going fast. For me, this show just started. I'll be married in two weeks if the engagement can last that long."

You haven't even picked out a dress or taken a look at one. You wanted to start planning badly but you needed to figure who you want to be with.

The Springers decided to move on from the wedding topic and started to talk about their kids' accomplishments.

You spaced out as they spoke. This could be you one day, with a big family, or even just Connie. You would come home from work and discuss your day with him, you would cook with him and just be happy with him.

link!

now voting for your boy is required. i know the questions for the boys is required but if you’ve asked a question, feel free to ask another OR let me know that you have!

[nightshadeshadow123]

Paw prints on the Agent's heart🐾part 6:

A long waited part 6, enjoy guys and again sorry for the long wait. I'm thinking of adding my works on archive and wattpad too. Ah heck, why am I making this a slow burn romance😂

Tag list:

@retro-aesthe @blackluthxr @samustar @aznblossom @ibe-anne @lezzzbehonesthere

🐺🐾🐺🐾🐺🐾🐺🐾🐺🐾🐺🐾🐺🐾🐺🐾

"Hey sis!" Kara greeted Alex and went to stand next to her.

Alex glanced back at her briefly before looking back into the middle of the room where you and J'onn are sparring.

"Hey Kar."

Kara crossed her arms over her chest and nudged Alex with her shoulder. "I see you love to watch her. Might want to be less subtle or she might start to think you are a creep."

Alex rolled her eyes. "I am not a creep. Nothing wrong with watching people sparring."

"Mhm. Sure, okay."

"I bet J'onn will win." Alex said.

Kara amusedly smiled. "I bet (Y/N) will win."

Alex narrowed her eyes at Kara. "Mhm, if J'onn win you must stop the teasing and then you aren't allowed to eat potstickers for two months."

Kara gave her a offended look. "No fair! Okay if (Y/N) win I get to keep teasing you and you have to buy me potstickers for two months."

Alex thought it over for a moment. "Okay. Deal."

J'onn tried to swing a punch at your head but you blocked with your arms and he took advantage to knock you of your feet with one leg making you fall with a yelp as J'onn tried to hide a tiny smirk as he looked down at you.

"Don't get happy too fast J'onn." You taunted and used your psychokinesis to send him flying back against a wall next to Kara and Alex with a force that made a dent and crack in the wall while you did a quick flip and jump back to your boothed feet.

Alex sparred him a concerned look as he sat up in a daze.

"Oof. I forgot about that power of hers." J'onn shake his head slightly to shake off the daze.

"I'm just gonna stand over here so I don't get hit by flying aliens." Kara joked but went to help J'onn up.

You chuckled to yourself. "You might wanna remember that next time."

J'onn took his place in front of you again and smirked. "I'll be sure to do that."

This time you took the first move and went to use heat vision on him but he side jumped it and used his own heat vision on you that have you staggering back a few feet.

J'onn then used his invisibility to sneak up on you from behind but you easily elbowed him in the face when sensing him nearby, making him become visible again as he clutched at his nose.

"Ouch." J'onn whipped at the tinge of blood from his nose and half busted lip. "I did not expect that. Nice shot."

Alex looked shocked for a moment while Kara only smiled at her cheeckily.

"Rule number one. Don't sneak up on a wolf ever. They'll sense you before you can even do something. Learned that the hard way on Krypton and (Y/N) had to save me then."

"Well I can't wait to hear more stories of you and her on Krypton." Alex said.

"Hey guys! Not sorry to interrupt." A feminine voice halted all talk and movements.

"Lena Boo!" You exclaimed and run over to the female Luthor.

"(Y/N)!" Lena's green eyes lit up, a bright smile tugging at her red painted lips that is complimenting the black suit she is wearing with red heels to match.

You pulled her into a tight hug that she eagerly returns.

"What are you doing here?" You asked after pulling away from the hug.

"Came to check up on my bestie and J'onn called me over. He wants some information on CADMUS." Lena explained, staying close to you and nodding in greeting at Kara, Alex and J'onn.

"Oh okay. I'm glad you are here."

Lena smiled at that. "Glad to be here. And even more glad to see you making new friends." She said while keeping a hand on your exposed arm.

Alex glared at Lena's hand before looking at Kara that elbowed her.

"Jealous?" Kara teased.

"Shut up. I'm not jealous." Alex tried to hide the blush that is sneaking up to her cheecks.

"I don't believe you." Kara continued making Alex glare at her.

"Are you still coming over to my house for dinner and movies tonight?" Lena asked, not paying much attention to the others.

"Sure am. Can't miss out on good food and movies with my bestie."

"Just going over for dinner and movies my ass." Alex grumbels under her breath earning a soft laugh from Kara.

"You are so jealous."

Alex looked back at you and Lena before glaring at Kara once again.

"I said I'm not jealous. They can do whatever they want. And I have no reason to be jealous."

Kara cringe a little at the sharp edge in Alex's voice. "Oh sis. I was just teasing." She said softly.

Alex sighted but gave her sister a tiny smile afterwards. "Let's go show (Y/N) around. J'onn wants to talk with Lena anyways." Alex dragged Kara over to the wolf and Luthor.

"Hey." Alex greeted Lena as Kara waved at her akwardly, saying a soft "Hi."

"Agent Danvers, Supergirl, Hey." Lena greeted them back warmly.

"We'll catch up tonight at my place." Lena said to you after J'onn motioned Lena to follow him.

"Sure thing. See you then." You hugged her bye before turning back to Alex and Kara.

"Can I help you?" You questioned when seeying them just standing akwardly.

"No...actually yes." Kara began. "Do you want to come with me and Alex to Noonan's for lunch?"

You thought it over for a moment before nodding. "Okay, you did promise me some good food when you wanted my help in finding Alex.

"But you have eaten an hour ago Kar." Alex looked at the blonde Kryptonian.

Kara only shrugged. "So what. That was an hour ago. Kryptonian's are always hungry." She reasoned.

"Gotta agree with Kara." You cut in making Alex huff.

"Fine fine, let's go get some food for you hungry Kryptonian's." Alex began walking as you and Kara shot each other a goofy grin before following behind the agent.

When you got outside Alex walked over to her bike with you and Kara following.

"Catch you two at Noonan's." Alex said, getting on her bike.

(😶Man this bike gif of her)

You make and whisteling sound at that. "Oh, I love the view Danvers. Let's try that climbing on-"

Alex sent a glare at you, a tinge of pink dusting her cheeks as she cut you off. "Shut it wolf before I put a muzzle on you."

"Getting kinky now are we Danvers?" You teased, wiggiling an eyebrow at her as Kara stood akwardly next to you, a smile on her face while Alex hid a tiny smirk by putting her helmet on.

"I'm shipping this so much but please don't do the dirty around me." Kara joked shyly.

"Aww, baby Danvers as shy and innocent as ever." You teased the blonde Kryptonian making her blush as she rubbed at her forehead shyly.

"She's not so innocent when under red kryptonite." Alex pipped in before driving off on her bike.

"Hey! I can't help that." Kara blushed a darker shade of red as she watched her sister droved away.

You laughed at Kara's perplexed look, patting her strong built shoulder. "I like that one. She's feisty. And can't wait to hear more stories of you and Alex."

"Let's get going." Kara manage to get out after containing her blush, taking you in a hold and starting to hover in the sky.

"I swear to Rao if you drop me I'll punch you into the sun." You threatened jokingly.

"I won't drop you. Trust me." Kara assured.

🐺🐾🐺🐾🐺🐾🐺🐾🐺🐾🐺🐾🐺🐾🐺🐾

Kara landed with you both in an alley, letting go of you gently.

"That was fun." You said, fixing your wind swept hair as Kara rushed into her normal clothing and glasses.

"I just don't get how Lena can't see right through that descuise. It's so obvious. The glasses don't hide much." You commented as you and Kara walked out of the alley, making your way over to Noonan's, spotting Alex's bike parked near.

Kara slightly shook her head. "I don't know. Other people don't reconize me with it on."

"Maybe they do notice it's you but don't say anything." You countered, making Kara hum.

"Mhm. Guess you got a valid point there." Kara said as you cross the street and leading you into the comforting calm of Noonan's, scanning the place for Alex.

"There she is." You pointed out and walk over to the booth where the agent is sitting and slid into the booth with Kara following behind sortly after, sitting down next to you.

Alex greeted the two of you briefly before flipping through her menu.

You looked at the blonde kryptonian next to you. "Kara, that food ya promised me. What do you suggest?" You asked curiously.

Kara smiled warmly at you before Alex interrupt her.

"Let me guess, you are going to say potstickers?" Alex smiled briefly at her sister.

A light pink dusted Kara's cheeks. "Yep. They are just so good." Kara defend as you watch the two with a ghost of a smile.

"I still don't know why you like them so much."

You let out a chuckel at that. "Don't even try to change her fav food. She's still stuborn just like she was back on Krypton when we were little."

Alex gave a ghost of a smile."Trust me, I know how stuborn she can be."

Kara gasp in fake shock.

"I'm not stuborn!" Kara exclaimed and playfully swat at Alex who were smirking at her as you watched the two sisters, glad that Kara have Alex in her life.

Kara quickly placed the order for potstickers when the waiter came to the table you and the Danvers sibling are sitting at.

"Hey (Y/N), remember that time we almost got kidnapped by those blue aliens when we snucked into the meeting my mom and dad had with their leader?" You couldn't help but smile at that.

"I remember that all too well. Both of our parents were absolutely livid when they managed to save us on time. Geez that day I thought for sure your father would chuck us both into the sun by how angry he was." You and Kara began to laugh as Alex raised her eyebrow at the two of you.

"Well you make it sound like you both got and caused a lot of trouble together back on Krypton. Should I be worried for anymore trouble?" Alex said amusedly, taking a sip of her coffee that was ordered by her.

Kara pushed up her glasses and tried to hide a blush. "Naw believe me, that wasn't even a patch against all the other trouble we stirred." You nudged Kara and the blonde gave you a bright smile.

"And the amounts of times aunt Astra joined in on us pulling pranks on my mother and father and other visit aliens. Father wasn't too amused but was secretly glad that aunt Astra kept us safe...well safe most of the times back when she wasn't a complete nutcase." Kara added and you hummed in agreement.

"And remember that time I stole that huge red aliens thingys sword. He was ready to kill us both until your aunt showed up. His paled face was priceless when she threatened him and your father grounded us for weeks." You looked at Kara. "And I still have that sword in my apartment somewhere."

"What? No way?! You gotta show me then. That sword is epic." Kara exlaimed.

Alex raised another eyebrow, a smirk tugging at her lips as she swooped some potstickers once it was set on the table by the waiter, waiting until he left.l before saying.

"Oh now we have a sword stealing Kryptonian too? Now I wonder how your parents putted up with the two of you." Alex joked while Kara smiled again at her.

"Oh maybe I should talk about the punk pace you went through in highschool." Kara smirked before putting a potsticker in her mouth as Alex glared at her, a light pink dusting her cheeks.

"Cool, tell me Kar." You sneaked a glance at Alex, thinking that the tiny blush on her cheeks make her look adorable.

"No! Don't talk about that. That was years ago and embarrassing." Alex tried to stop her sister but alas Kara just went on and told the whole story as Alex tried to hide in embarrassment.

🐺🐾🐺🐾🐺🐾🐺🐾🐺🐾🐺🐾🐺🐾🐺🐾

Hey guys! I'm sorry for not updating in a long long time. I just thought I'd post this part for ya guys for reading and please excuse the many typos and spelling, I haven't read through this yet because I'm going away on a long vacation and I'm getting everything ready. Not sure when I'll start with a part 7 but I really hope you guys enjoy this part.

[skeetlehand]

Im watching Quackity pov btw so thats where we're sticking with.

We start off with the Quackity stating that the Butcher Army will finally be at play and calls the other three (Fundy, Tubbo, and Ranboo). The four start to head over to their meeting room to start. They all start and Quackity ask how will they track down Technoblade, with Tubbo bringing up that Philza has been around Techno.

They all head over to Philza's home and ask him if where is Techno's location which he needs to give up under the presidents word. Philza holds back and the four start to raid the house to try to find something. Tubbo stops the raid with presenting a compass titled 'Techno's Place'. The four start to head out over to where the compass leads and set him under house arrest.

While heading over to Techno's home, they find Ghostbur who says that Techno has took him in. Ghostbur has been lost for the past days since Dream has told him that the beach party for Tommy has been moved to a different location. Techno found and brought him in since Ghostbur gets burned by the snow and rain.

Ghostbur calls out to Techno to where the four try to stop him. Techno walks out of his home and the four keeps their distance as Ghostbur runs after him. He tries to make the four go away by saying that Techno isnt there as the five brush over his antics.

Techno tries to stop the four from doing anything by claiming he has renounced his old ways and now wants to remain peaceful. The voices in his head constantly asking for blood, to where he is forcing himself to defy. The four ask for proof to where Techno shows him his bees, to where Tubbo gets distracted and Techno runs for it.

Quackity runs after him and starts a mini 4v1. Noticing that they dont stand much of a chance, Quackity runs to grab a horse belonging Techno and uses it as blackmail to make Techno drop all items and go with them to L'Manberg to hold a trail against Techno.

They get back make Techno to stand in a cage, they reveal that there was no trial and that its an execution. And he was planned to die via anvil dropping on his head. Tubbo starts a speech that quickly gets interrupted by Punz running in and placing tnt blocks.

Quackity runs up to pull the lever to kill Techno and heads back to stop Punz. The anvil drops, but Techno is still alive, grabs the horse, and runs. Punz stops placing down tnt and runs off, Quackity notices that Techno made a quick escape and that some blocks are misplaced. He runs to destroy the blocks and finds a tunnel leading to another control room.

Techno speaks to Dream briefly before turning back to Quackity and closing the hole to hide the horse he just saved. Techno has been working with Dream and dodged execution with a totem of undying. Quackity reveals that he doesnt care about the wither incident, he just needs to get rid of people who oppose a threat to him having power. The two have a pvp with Techno winning.

Quackity joins back with the three when he respawns and calls a meeting. He shows his frustration to the group about Dream continuing to pull the strings and that they'll never get anywhere if Dream is still around. He accuses Ranboo being a rat among the group. Ranboo defends himself by saying he has no reason to work with Techno or Dream.

Tubbo brings up an idea for Quackity that they can remake the festival, but have Dream being stuck in there and killed. They all agree on the idea and plan to expand on it on a later date.

Thats all for his pov, I'll get Tommy's when I finish watching the vod if needed

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE RECAP ❤️❤️❤️!!! today my brain was like: snzzz, when i instead desperately wanted to be awake. i guess it do be like that sometimes, hih

OHHHHH THAT IS A LOT. .... and a lot of questions have been answered, but also a lot MORE have taken their place.

I saw a little bit in the 1v1 between techno and Quackity... and now im like 👀! I wonder what Quackity’s motives are... he’s been burned by his own ambitions before. Where is he going with this...? Is he really on lmanberg’s side? is he on his own side? ... is schlatt involved in anything at all anymore (my guess is probably not, but are they still trying to revive him at this point?)

And i saw a teensy bit of tubbo’s n tommy’s streams - tubbo... well... he finds logsteadshire... or whatever’s left of it. and the... yknow... as for tommy, he’s with techno currently. and let me just say, there is a reason techno’s been on the server like,,,, all the time. yeesh that guy grinds long and hard and by log do i not like what he’s managed to get... :fear:

how much u wanna bet this’ll all go down on january 16th haha

[punkscowardschampions]

Janis & Jimmy

Janis: 🥱🥱 Jimmy: Afternoon Janis: Piss off Janis: it's the crack of dawn Janis: bet the boy ain't even woke up yet to 👀 the decs Jimmy: it's a lie in for me Janis: before you handicapped me, I was getting up pretty early too 🐕🏃 Jimmy: @ Helena and her 💊s Jimmy: that there's the handicap Janis: her back ain't that bad Janis: anyway 💊s aren't gonna make me jolly Jimmy: go on then Jimmy: what do you need, baby? Janis: 😏 Janis: Is that any way for an elf to talk? Jimmy: depends what you 🖋 in your letter to 🎅 Jimmy: might be dead on Janis: You reckon that's top of my list? Jimmy: know what you're like with 👴💕 Janis: 🥇 or nowt Janis: makes Lucas look 🥉 for sure Jimmy: writing lines in detention ain't gonna come close Janis: Only just started this holiday Janis: you need cheering up too 🌧 Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Janis: ☀️ Janis: not much chance of that today ☃️ Jimmy: you not coming then? Janis: You really are on form this AM Janis: very quotable Jimmy: won't be long til 💀👑's getting out her 🛁 of 🩸 for a new day of torture Jimmy: have to sleep when we're ⚰ Janis: grind never sleeps 💪 Janis: so glad she only has 😍 for one 👴 though Jimmy: they've had years to perfect that roleplay Jimmy: must be 🥇 Janis: 🤢🤢 nah Janis: not gonna be able to face breakfast now Janis: 💔 that's why she can't either, awh Jimmy: stop finding common ground, it's 💔 me Janis: Baby Janis: sure if you asked really nicely, they'd let you work a double shift Jimmy: funny Janis: You walked right into that one Jimmy: there'd be nowt 💔😭🎻 for me about walking our kid to you and pissing off to work if you want some alone time with your real boyfriend 🎅 Janis: yeah right Janis: be all good until he starts 💔😭🎻 and I'd have to come find you Jimmy: I get it, you're off the 🎪🤹🤡 clock Janis: just don't reckon I know enough sign language to win him over Jimmy: reckon you could leave it to 🎅 Jimmy: seems like he'd be a traditional kind of #lad, chuffed for you to be 🤐 and just bake the mince pies Janis: 🤤 what can't he do Jimmy: probably wouldn't have got 💀👑's cooking down him any easier than we did Janis: I didn't mind the excuse to go to the bathroom Jimmy: SUCH a 💊head, you Janis: 🙄 Janis: don't judge me, babes Jimmy: just her decor Jimmy: best that bathroom's ever gonna have looked with your giant head blocking out them ugly tiles Janis: should've dashed yours into 'em Jimmy: 🤤🤤🤤 Janis: gutted we didn't get to sleepover Janis: would've had plenty of time to redecorate 🩸 Jimmy: hang on, I'll set one up Jimmy: liven up the group chat Janis: 😂 Janis: you are SUCH a peacekeeper it's SOOOOOOOOOOO cute I can't 😻 Janis: run out of sleeps before 🎅 pays 'em all a visit Jimmy: 💰 on Asia getting into a #scandal thinking if she rubs the coal he gave her on her face she'll have a charcoal face mask ready to go Janis: Can't wait to #cancel her for good Jimmy: just better not have the sleepover here, that kind of casual racism could have her in the running for my new step ma Janis: imagine the unfortunate children Janis: massive heads and bigger teeth Janis: christ Jimmy: don't Jimmy: I'm basically illiterate, they'd be thick as shit Janis: the work would truly NEVER end Janis: you leave her in charge of 'em... 🍄💉🧱🧨🪓🔥 Jimmy: however many 👶 they churned out, she's one more on top of Janis: can't let that happen to you Jimmy: but near worth it for the #goals 👰🤵 pics obvs Janis: you wouldn't even be the cutest page boy Janis: tragic 💔 Jimmy: long as you keep faking your 😍 mate, don't matter Janis: I think I'll manage Janis: 🏆 at stake Jimmy: gotta take at least one job seriously, I'm doing your other Janis: 1. stop any time and let me 2. and your sister when you can't be arsed Jimmy: my sister when I've gotta be audience to your gingerbread masterpiece, more like Jimmy: can't have you going without 👏 Janis: don't throw down the gauntlet if you don't want me to show you how it's done Jimmy: when a lass begs me for a challenge, she gets one Jimmy: just that dickhead Janis: If I was gonna beg, you'd know about it Jimmy: you did and I did Jimmy: stop flirting with me, I've got a kid to shake away Jimmy: *awake Janis: yeah piss off and be useful Janis: 👋 in a few Jimmy: you got that hint then? Know what your room reading skills are like Janis: 'course you do Janis: got to have something to aspire to Jimmy: 🥇 or nowt don't mean cracking on with the second bit, case you need that spelling out an' all Janis: you're the one that's thick Janis: in your own words, spellchecked, I assume Jimmy: and I've still got better social skills, Julie 💔 for you Janis: if I got paid by the hour, I might bother as well 😘 Jimmy: Oi that's a point Jimmy: never left a tip in my jar, you Janis: you mean the one time I came in? Jimmy: you'd have preferred some festive bollocks off the menu, yeah? Jimmy: I'll sort that for next time 🤶 Janis: maybe I preferred another barista boy, and I know how tip jars work, make you share it out all equally 👎 Jimmy: alright but do you know how pockets work? I've got a few of them to slip 💰 in Jimmy: you can have that tip to slide into your new boyfriend's DMs with 😘 Janis: you aren't strippers Janis: if you want to go the hooter route, you're gonna need to make those aprons shorter Jimmy: there's a few 👴👵 who ain't had that memo Jimmy: I'll @ my manager with your 🥇💡 though, see if he'll get it done for this afternoon shift Janis: you're welcome Janis: you'll be cold but swimming in 💰 so who cares Jimmy: northerns don't feel the cold, bit like strippers Jimmy: *northerners Janis: you didn't totally wimp out on the school trip Janis: or the park Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Jimmy: Ian'll be dead proud Janis: yeah Janis: shame about the complexion Janis: leave it out and you can brag and bond Jimmy: 🍻 Janis: heartwarming Jimmy: hang on, this'll have you 💀💀💀 inside again Jimmy: [Bobby's reaction vid to these decs] Janis: Awh Janis: bless him Jimmy: we did alright Janis: you happy too? Janis: no video needed Jimmy: [a pic like 😁👍] Janis: 🤓 Jimmy: *😎🚬 Janis: 👌 honey Janis: does look good Jimmy: he's doing a letter to say tah to Santa, might need you to spellcheck it for us Janis: He's well cute Janis: doubt I'll get mine to do it but her penmanship is shite so he'll look 🥇 in comparison Jimmy: wait til he 👀s mine Jimmy: I'll have to tell him it ain't just a squiggle but actually says tah for the missus and that, mate Janis: 🎅💔 Jimmy: *🎅🥊 Janis: 😂 Janis: long as the kids are distracted by the shit gifts they'll get Jimmy: do you want your shit 🎨🎁 now or in a bit? Janis: give it to me when they get theirs or I'll 🥺 Janis: love ruining christmas, me Jimmy: don't sound like you, that Jimmy: 🥇🎄 work Janis: don't forget the gingerbread house Janis: as I crave that 👏 Jimmy: I'll knock you up a tinfoil 🏆 to go with your 👑 Janis: what you gonna cover your no carb low fat tofurkey with?!!!!? 😱😱😱 Jimmy: you're more important, girl Janis: taste better, is the honest truth Janis: don't need to be a 🧛 to know Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: I'll stick that in the group chat Janis: you can say it but they're not gonna find out for themselves Jimmy: as constructive criticism goes it ain't bad but no need to take it as an instruction, lasses Janis: 🤢🤢 Janis: stop making me feel ill Janis: I've got to go break the ✨ surprise and get all the 🏆👑 Jimmy: piss off then Janis: TTFN Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [actually skip forward now] Janis: where do you wanna meet? we're ready Jimmy: We'll walk over, get the intros out the way before 🎅 can stick his oar in Janis: 👍 Janis: she's pretty good at pronunciation for a kid but you might have to step in if she gets too chatty Jimmy: keep her on the nice list, I get it Janis: Don't worry, she's not a dick like my sister or anything Jimmy: I weren't Jimmy: you wouldn't have invited her if she were owt like Gracie Janis: Good Janis: we'll be outside ☃️☃️ Jimmy: 👍 Janis: not got any 🚬🕶 going so can't make it in your likeness this time soz Jimmy: long as you get the 👂 and eyebrows sorted you can still tag me Janis: 🪒 Jimmy: 😍 Janis: you deserve a treat too, like Jimmy: I'm just pleased to see you, soz Jimmy: 🚫🔪🔨🔧🪓 Janis: don't worry, santa is coming through for me later Janis: 🤞 for ☣️ Janis: 🥴🤤🤮💀👻 Jimmy: 💰 on your man having a flask of socially acceptable poison Janis: yeah, give him the rosy red cheeks that complete the lewk Janis: nose that looks like a 🍓 Jimmy: that there's the only treat I need 🤤 Janis: 😂 Jimmy: [show up so these bubs can meet and start a lifelong friendship] Janis: [Libi just like bonjour, what are you going to ask Santa for, I'm gonna ask for this and this] Jimmy: [we know Bobby wants art supplies and a camera and we know why lol cue an eye roll from Jimothy as if he isn't buzzing to be loved] Janis: [no pretending that's not adorable, like, just like WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE COLOUR CRAYON] Jimmy: [okay but imagine him taking a crayon from behind his ear where jimothy keeps 🚬] Janis: [imagine, Janis just 😏 above their heads like not encouraging bad habits or nothing] Jimmy: [jimmy just looking to see if it's black like his soul or blood red and tutting when it obvs isn't either of those] Janis: [shakes head like what have you been teaching him tbh, Libi saying hers is that bluey silver colour like her mum's hair and we oop] Jimmy: [Bobby just like I don't have a mum anymore cos kids don't give a fuck and Jimmy just like so glad I get to sign this] Janis: [just literally like gurl same! 'cos neither of you can tell a child to shut the fuck up lmao 'my mummy and daddy are dead, what happened to your mum?'] Jimmy: [Bobby just like 'she went away' because we truly know not] Janis: [just like fantastic, so glad we came, bet he's thrilled he invited us now, 'cos we're not even looking, just walking in total silence, meanwhile Libi like oh okay 'If she comes back, I can see her' and then moving on chatting about our dog and what we're getting her for Christmas] Jimmy: [Bobby just like 'my dad's about but you wouldn't want to meet him' and doing an impression of Ian's angry face and then telling her all about Twix because dogs 5ever, making Jimothy give him his phone to show Libi pics of this pup] Janis: ['my granddad could fight him' when you're like Libi shh that's not nice but at least that is amusing as a prospect, also clearly doing a phone swap 'cos you'd have that Killer queen content on yours, Libi being like 'Janis knows loads about dogs and has taught her loads of tricks because she used to be a naughty girl and wee everywhere and eat everyone's shoes' and loling] Jimmy: [Bobby just dangerously close to outting Jimmy's secrets by telling her that he fights Ian sometimes so casual so nbd and then telling her about how Cass did that dog walk the other day and going on and on about how naughty Twix is and all the things she's done] Janis: [JJ y'all gotta pick them up and run so you can shove breakfast in their gobs like nooooooooo 'you're so lucky you've got a brother AND a sister, even though your brother's old too' looking at Jimmy and shaking her head in disdain because that's the age of her aunties and stuff and kids have no concept of age they treat you like you're ancient but at least that's a joke we've had so Janis managing to look at Jimmy like lol, she knows your secret] Jimmy: [the most half hearted 😏 but we're a bit more amused when Bobby starts dragging Cass by doing an impression of how angry she is and stomping about etc as if she's worse than Ian] Janis: [she's cackling in that way babby's do 'you're funny, you're my new friend'] Jimmy: [Bobby is buzzing and we're using Jimothy's phone to have a selfie sesh but also take artsy pics of our new bff as we go along] Janis: [run along you innocent children, like you've not just revealed so much, god bless] Jimmy: [JJ just awkwardly af walking in silence now thanks kids] Janis: [going to apologize like several times but you can't even, where would you begin lmao, pretend it's chill] Jimmy: [chuck some snow at her or like shake a tree branch full of it onto her or something, any distraction will do] Janis: [fall into the safety of that] Jimmy: [if nothing else he's good at that when things are awkward] Janis: [likewise, when we sit down for this breakfast, you can do all the posting thus far] Jimmy: [cheers to the fans for that distraction, meanwhile Jimmy and Bobby can teach Libi some easy signing since we're BFFs and gonna be seeing more of you undoubtedly baby hen] Janis: [lucky for you gal, perks of being but a child, she'd love that 'cos mini nerd and she'll be able to pick it up as most nurseries now do makaton so it's a way into learning it] Jimmy: [at least the bubs are having a lovely time until Santa breaks Bobby's heart by not knowing any] Janis: [truly, a day of drama and stress when you're just trying to do something nice, if that don't sum up xmas] Jimmy: [the tea honey, at least that'll be easy to smooth over like the people I work with are dickheads as well boy, that ain't the real Santa's fault] Janis: [it happens a lot 'cos the shopping centre ones freak kids out rightly so, Libi just blowing raspberries at him like understand this loser 'cos we're a baby bad bitch] Jimmy: [I stan Libi and the way she'll protect him and make him less shy, cos you know we're doing it too after she has and didn't get shouted at lol] Janis: [you've got your prezzies kids, fuck him up, just tugging on Jimmy's sleeve and loudly being like 'What's sign for poopoo head?' 'cos the age hen] Jimmy: [obvs we're showing her and we're not sorry, Jimothy is a bad bitch too okay] Janis: [we're just calling everyone a poopoo head all day now, which I imagine is quite visually obvious because the swears etc usually are] Jimmy: [that has cheered everyone greatly thanks Libi] Janis: [you are a funny egg, at least, hence we can't be mad at you/ignore you because what is that achieving, 'tis not your fault Edie is dead luv] Jimmy: [and Edie wouldn't want that like you can be anti Ruster having her because she wouldn't want that obvs] Janis: [make that the hill and we lowkey ignore everyone else rn, at least in comparison to how everything was before, so it's fine lol, think we are gonna get y'all presents that don't suck and I think you should get pups and name them] Jimmy: [keeping them forever, you cannot destroy them Twix or Killer thank you] Janis: [keep 'em safe, lads, I think you should call yours Star, 'cos huskies are that silvery grey colour too and the names work well together because obviously your dogs are BFFs too] Jimmy: [aw Snow & Star 4ever] Janis: [making Janis make the dogs do little tricks for y'all and then cackling again when she makes 'em poo on Libi's head] Jimmy: [love this so much, also can't forget Jimmy giving Janis the 🎨 which can be when the bubs have their real 🎁 cos fuck you Santa] Janis: [we know she genuinely appreciates them honey, we're always excited to see what he's done] Jimmy: [god knows because he blatantly did it last night after she left/early this morning even before this convo started because never sleep well so] Janis: [you know Libi is gonna be all over that hun like SHOW ME and then being like draw me draw me to Jimmy and Bobby] Jimmy: [they shall honey because we love an art sesh] Janis: [the confidence of a child, just posing here with the dogs] Jimmy: [never change gal never lose it] Janis: [we're clearly making Janis too, then shouting out increasingly complicated things, like, make the dogs pull us on a sleigh, make us flying, like gal, your dreams lol] Jimmy: [Jimothy will never back down from a challenge, he's got you bub] Janis: [don't stress out poor Bobby though, at least you not a rude ass bitch so you wouldn't shade his attempt] Jimmy: [it'd be a cute attempt, BFF status cemented] Janis: [can put up these pics for extra cuteness, hoes will DIE] Jimmy: [I wish we actually had some but alas] Janis: [never be as good as our imagination anyway] Jimmy: [true, is there anything else we wanna have them do before he has to go back to work?] Jimmy: [could go to the park maybe because it's right by his house and thus mcvickers] Janis: [that's a good way to end this day for you kiddos, could also get the dogs which would make them lowkey hysterical with happiness so pop off] Jimmy: [love that cos we know Cass has probably walked the other dogs while they've been out for that cash so no time to take Twix] Janis: [live ya life, get ya things, but now you gotta go to work and we gotta] Janis: Thanks for today, reckon they both enjoyed themselves 👍✔ Jimmy: you're alright, were going any road and I reckon he had a better time with her about Janis: they were cute Janis: and she lives at my nan and granddads so if he wants to hang more, easy done Jimmy: 👍✔ Janis: Yeah Janis: well she doesn't always talk about her dead mum and dad so it shouldn't be a big thing Janis: sorry Jimmy: it weren't a big thing to him Jimmy: nowt for you to be sorry for Janis: It weirds plenty of kids out Janis: I could've warned you, I guess Jimmy: loads of kids reckon he's weird Jimmy: Asia's sister included Janis: some front when you look like your ma fucked a cheese grater Jimmy: her dad weren't at the nativity, might be 'cause he were stuck in a drawer, yeah Janis: dunno if she's got one any more Janis: 💀👑 flex Jimmy: what, like she fucked and ate him? Janis: 🐰🥕 Jimmy: #fated Janis: 💔 they didn't think so Jimmy: 💔 I can't change the station to Classic FM for them 🎻s Janis: Perils of 🎅🎄🎁☃️ Jimmy: ❌🎅 that shithead's 💀💀💀 to us Janis: yeah Janis: and his tunes are shit Jimmy: don't even care how fit that 🍓 were looking Jimmy: SO over him and his 👃 babes Janis: better off without him Janis: you can do SO much better Jimmy: 🖋 us a joke about him being a ho ho HOE Janis: I'll hit up the group chat Janis: their level of humour Jimmy: 🥇💡 Janis: and one of them has always just been dumped so they'll comiserate with you Jimmy: tah huns Janis: nothing if not the BEST friends to have Jimmy: DUH! Only time I'll accept 🥈 Janis: charming that is 😏 Jimmy: I get it 🎅 were a right let down, you need some 💕 Janis: just a bit rude that you're so gracious with them Jimmy: Baby Janis: Such a pisstake Jimmy: their BFF status, yeah Janis: you Jimmy: why me? Janis: you just are Jimmy: you can take it Janis: true Jimmy: I know, that'll be why I said it Janis: we're alright, yeah? Janis: I don't think shit needs to be weird just 'cos 2 kids have got no filter Jimmy: don't it feel like we're alright to you? Janis: it was a bit awkward Janis: but I'm over it if you are Jimmy: nowt to be over from where I'm serving overpriced ☕ Jimmy: just the unpaid translator earlier, me, none of my business what they were going on about Jimmy: if you wanna tell me something, up to you, that Janis: alright Janis: works for me Jimmy: she's world class at signing, won't need me after a bit, any road Janis: bit of a third-wheel Janis: cramp his style with your 🤓 Jimmy: *😎 Jimmy: but alright 🖍 are cooler than 🚬 give him that Janis: gonna usurp you in every way, for sure Jimmy: go on then, what's your fave colour 🖍 ? Janis: the important questions Janis: don't know why it's taken you so long Jimmy: tell me Jimmy: edge of the seat I ain't allowed to put my arse near til my next break Janis: 🎻😞 Janis: goldenrod or inchworm obvs Jimmy: gonna do your next 🎨 in them so 🤞 you took it serious Janis: it's 💛💚 so I'm gonna look like a keylime pie Jimmy: never said I were drawing you, bighead Janis: you will be though Jimmy: not gonna now for the sake of Janis: 1. I know you're tired, grumpy 2. How will they know it's goals??? Jimmy: 1. Bollocks 2. everything I touch turns to #goals, nowt I could do wrong Janis: 1. s'fair, you've been an unpaid translator, an artiste, santa and now barista boy who can't sit down 2. alright, if you want to add Midas to the CV but might be a bit much Jimmy: now I've got your permission I'll draw some eyes on 😎 and grab a quick kip 👍 tah for that, Jillian Jimmy: ❌ that off the CV though, noted Janis: it's fair but life and working a minimum wage job for your living ain't Janis: keep 💭 though and I'll let you focus on it and the overpriced ☕ Jimmy: where's your focus going? Janis: need to get another minimum wage job I can do sitting down so you don't take it over/ban me Jimmy: you were hopping round less today, that just for the kid's benefit or were you 💭 about keeping me out of pocket with a full recovery, like? Janis: 💭 about keeping you out the loop and pretending it's permanent Janis: have you munchausened me or am I munchausening you Janis: real question #2 Jimmy: well done on telling me that plan then Janis: Yeah, you know Janis: when you've pissed off who's gonna carry me about Jimmy: 🎅 Jimmy: you're heavy but not sack of 🎁 heavy Janis: true Janis: he's 💪 Janis: oh well, problem sorted then 👋 Jimmy: Lucas is a poor man's version an' all he'd be alright for a few lifts Jimmy: I'll race back for the funeral, obvs Janis: don't Janis: he actually offered me a lift once after a match and it was very awkward Janis: definitely not meant to do that, but he's a maverick, you know Jimmy: did you offer to take a lit match to his car or what? Janis: I'm not as witty as Libi Janis: but I did get detention for a week, which is funny as, like what you saying for? 'cos I didn't wanna get sexually assaulted and dumped in a ditch? Janis: 💩💩🧠 Jimmy: Stockholm syndrome only works for dickheads like me on dickheads like you 💔 for him Janis: 'scuse me? Jimmy: can't ⛓ you to a desk nowhere but in his dreams Jimmy: could've childlocked you into his motor but his lack of 🥇🗨 pissed on that Janis: If there was anything in his plan for me, might've worked Janis: but I'm not arsed about straight As Janis: 🤞 he tried Mia next Jimmy: she does look like she just crawled out a ditch Jimmy: dunno if we can score him any credit for that though Janis: just the #aesthetic babes Janis: try and look a bit buzzing when they come in, 'cos they will Janis: no need to 💔 them about 🎅 when you can act like it was the best time ever Jimmy: 😒 just my face, nowt personal, Mia Janis: NOT pleased to see her 🔧🔨🧨🪓🔪 Jimmy: I'll fake it if she fakes not being a Scrooge Janis: no need to go that far Jimmy: if you can't be a slag for tips at christmas, when can you, eh? Janis: 🙄😏 Jimmy: Oi, dead serious question, that Janis: I don't do your schedule Janis: though maybe I'll pop a CV in Janis: better or worse than step-mum nightmares? 🤔 Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: you gonna leave the ☕🎨 to me or are we making 🎄🍆 happen? Janis: 1. the #goals answer is the cup ain't big enough to do it justice, alright 2. if you were as good a teacher as Lucas, I might be better but most importantly 3. gonna be your manager, I'll never be there let alone ever make ☕s Jimmy: got it all figured out, you Jimmy: be piss easy for you to answer my next dead serious question Janis: yeah, aside for my total lack of experience for the role, well in Janis: so go on Jimmy: I were just thinking are we too 👰💍🤵? 👵💕👴 ain't #goals unless we're chatting my personal Janis: too domestic, you mean? Jimmy: we've done 👶🐕 if there ain't a christmas eve eve party I'll lose the 🤏 of faith I had in paddy teen humanity Janis: there's always parties Janis: it probably is time to hit another one up Jimmy: nowt to do with Ian clocking off for 🎄 and TOTALLY to do with me being chuffed to bits to give the fans what they're after Janis: 🙌 Janis: worth celebrating, I get it Jimmy: 🍾 Janis: as much as it pains me, I can't say I can't make it Janis: so sure, put in an appearance Jimmy: I get it 💔 you can't dance Jimmy: 🦶🎻🎻 Janis: at least I have an excuse Jimmy: me an' all, it's being a white northern lad Janis: 😂 Janis: I meant an excuse not to be ground on by randomers but yeah Jimmy: still works Janis: 💔💔 Jimmy: don't worry, I'll do my 😭 for pity tips, nowt you need to see Janis: if you're going that kind of party Janis: don't need to invite me Jimmy: I'll tell Doris to chuck her cardi on 💕 she'll love a bit of that Janis: unsurprised Janis: dirty bitch Jimmy: 😍😍 Janis: 🤢 Jimmy: green is right Janis: ha Janis: obviously Jimmy: whatever party we're going to, I will need a slaggy 🤶 ootd Janis: Penneys will have one you can pick up Jimmy: owt you want? Janis: not a fake beard Janis: ❌🎅 Jimmy: already got one of them in me Janis: fuck off Jimmy: in a bit then, Ellen Janis: you aren't funny Jimmy: still working on the 🤹 me Jimmy: ☕☕☕☕☕ Janis: keep at it Jimmy: they're here, should I invite 'em to this party or what? Janis: depends Jimmy: ? Janis: do you want an actual night off or do you wanna have to do #goals shit Jimmy: you heard, can do goals shit without trying Jimmy: do you want a night off? Janis: I asked you first Jimmy: so answer me first Janis: 🙄 Janis: I've had enough time off Janis: my ankle is better Jimmy: alright Janis: so answer Jimmy: I did Janis: Bitch, where Jimmy: I said alright Jimmy: I can do it Janis: no need to tax yourself Jimmy: piss off Janis: I'll go home and decorate mine Jimmy: 👌 Janis: don't invite them and you can actually have a decent time Jimmy: where? it's still a shit party full of dickheads Janis: it's your night off Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: you can't think of a single fun thing to do? Jimmy: if I ain't on your clock I'm on another Jimmy: 👶🐕 Janis: you said your dad was off Janis: is that not the entire point Jimmy: the entire point were I don't wanna be there, not that I don't have to be Jimmy: nowt #goals about pissing about for the sake of Jimmy: if you don't need me to be 🏆 they do Janis: if you don't wanna be there, then don't Janis: it doesn't make any odds if we're being #goals or not Janis: like your dad is really invested Jimmy: nowt I do is for that prick's benefit, didn't reckon that needed spelling out an' all Janis: that's my point Janis: do it for yourself Janis: don't need to pretend you're doing me a massive favour to warrant it Jimmy: what's it doing for me if I ain't? Janis: I don't know Janis: some peace and quiet Janis: time to fucking breathe Jimmy: you heard me, where? Jimmy: tisn't the season, mate Janis: for fuck's sake Janis: I never said I had all the answers for you Jimmy: don't have a go at me just 'cause I ain't chuffed at the prospect of becoming a ⛄ walking the streets of this shithole taking deep breaths or some bollocks Janis: you stop having a go at me first and we'll be quits Janis: sorry I don't have any top ideas of what you can do Janis: if I did we wouldn't need to bother with this bullshit Jimmy: 👍 Janis: whatever Jimmy: tah for that Janis: just piss off and do some work Jimmy: going against your night off stance but alright Jimmy: not the hill you wanna 💀💀💀 on Janis: whatever you're gonna do, you're still on the 🕡 right now Jimmy: weren't reckoning I had this apron on 'cause it makes me look even more fit and mysterious Jimmy: just a bonus, that Janis: funny Jimmy: come to the party with me, dickhead Janis: you're so frustrating Jimmy: how else you gonna prove to me your ankle is better and get your 🐕🏃💰 back? Jimmy: come on Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Janis: I thought you wanted to go alone Jimmy: what for? Janis: be off my 🕡 Jimmy: this is the easiest job I've got Jimmy: and before you start, NOT saying you are Janis: I'm not starting nothing Janis: it just pisses me off when you act like it's all my idea, or I wanna do it Janis: it's mutually beneficial, that's the point Janis: and the rest of them are the ones 👀 & 💬 Janis: not me Jimmy: it were my idea, I ain't forgotten that or why it's a 🥇 Jimmy: I'm a mardy prick, can't fake that I ain't all the time Janis: I'll survive Jimmy: I'll make it up to you Janis: don't need to Jimmy: but we both need Ian's stash more than him Janis: not gonna argue with that Jimmy: mutually beneficial, I heard you Janis: he can enjoy some sober family fun Janis: I'm not going to enjoy any party if I'm not at least a bit buzzed Jimmy: you can be pissed as 💀#2 were by round 2 of that game if you want, used to carrying you by now Janis: considering how much we've eat today Janis: literally impossible Jimmy: 💔 I can't accept that challenge 'cause I ain't no lightweight Jimmy: feels wrong turning one down Janis: what else is a party for Janis: be loads of others to 🥇 Jimmy: quick, give me one I can do now before I vanish 👻👋 Janis: 🤔🤔 hmm Janis: I don't know much about this ☕😍 life Janis: but how many non-dairy orders can you 🐄 up before any of 'em notice and complain Janis: trusting you not to bullshit, dickhead Jimmy: I swear on our kid's fake 🐕 Janis: hope the real one ain't savaged poor snow Janis: will be all your fault, obvs Jimmy: sounds like her, that Jimmy: and me getting the blame'd be about right an' all Jimmy: 🤞🤞 Janis: Poor baby Jimmy: you better mean me Janis: 'course I mean you Jimmy: know what you're like 🐕💕 Janis: didn't even buy myself one, firstly Janis: and secondly, you know you're 🥇 don't be jealous Jimmy: I'd have nicked you one but 👀 and 👂 already got our sticking a 🖍 behind his Jimmy: no need to turn 'em into baby Bonnie and Clyde Janis: thank god he's cute Janis: or it'd be baby borstal Janis: use the disability card and there's nothing he can't do 😎🖍 Jimmy: and then it'd be baby 👻 'cause he'd never hack that Janis: 🥺 Janis: got that from you and all Jimmy: how much bollocks were yours 🗨? Janis: I know you're gutted she got your number Janis: 👴 Jimmy: shut up Jimmy: is there owt you can do for our real 🐕 or what? Janis: Oh Janis: well, yeah Janis: that's the side hussle 'cos the rich cunts who cba to walk their own dogs also cba to train 'em, oddly enough Jimmy: it's too 💰💰💰 for us poor lads then Janis: not necessarily Janis: need the funds myself so we can do 💰 and a favour Jimmy: if you're 💭 mates rates he weren't 🗨 bollocks about how 😈🐕 it is Janis: it can't be worse than that thing was Janis: Killer ain't a funny nickname 'cos it was so 😇 Jimmy: might have to be a big favour, all I'm saying Janis: if you can't afford it Jimmy: made 2 🐄☕ with no 🤬 or 💩 already, be alright Janis: 🤞 Jimmy: 🤝? Janis: you don't want to hear what favour I might want? Janis: brave Janis: but a deal Jimmy: I ain't scared of giving you owt you might want, Jules Janis: Good Jimmy: 👍 Janis: be a really boring party otherwise Jimmy: can't have that Janis: would be gutted Janis: and I do owe you for all the kid time today Jimmy: #notallsantas Jimmy: you'll get no 💔 off me Janis: not what I want Janis: but I did miss being alone with you Janis: I know she's a lot Jimmy: she's alright Janis: she's just a kid Janis: she don't know no better Jimmy: 🥈 to 😎🖍 obvs but I rate her as kids go Janis: duh, that 💕🥇 is mutual Jimmy: he's got no mates here yet, it were a 🏆 day for him Janis: I'm glad Janis: she liked him too Janis: wouldn't shut up Jimmy: he's probs still going on to my sister an' all Janis: gonna owe her something now Janis: probably a bit better than a cuddly 🐕 Jimmy: she's done alright out of the 🐕🏃💰 she'll live Janis: she don't need to re-cripple me for the gig Janis: plenty of 🐕🏃💰 to go 'round, don't need to be 14 for that Jimmy: she'll be 💔 you don't wanna 🥊 but yeah Jimmy: she can't be arsed to do ours but I don't blame her when it's Ian's 💰 Janis: I don't make it a habit 👶🍭 Jimmy: brb gotta @ her that fighting 🗨 Janis: such a shit-stirrer Janis: it's alright, not tryna be your new step-mum, don't need to parent-trap me Jimmy: it's called making coffee when it's my 9-5, babe Janis: 😂 get him some chalk he's had an 💭💡 Jimmy: can do my 🐄☕ tally an' all Janis: make your least fave colleague clean the bogs today Jimmy: whoever the lad is you said you liked ✔ Janis: 😨 Jimmy: 😏 Janis: trying to turn everyone against me, I 👀 Janis: only going to have to make it up to him, think on Jimmy: not if I do first 😘 Janis: 🐍 Jimmy: bit of editing that's a 🍆📏 compliment Janis: UGH Janis: bastard Jimmy: 😂 Janis: you always go on about just the tip so Janis: can't confirm nor deny ladies 💁🙊 Jimmy: one way to get me to do nudes Janis: Eurgh, don't Janis: I'll hype you up in the tweets, fine Jimmy: go on then Janis: alright Janis: [least subtle posts ever 'cos a challenge] Jimmy: [cue a flirting via socials sesh because love that for you two always] Janis: [always a mood] Janis: so goals Jimmy: Where do you reckon 💀👑 is on the scale? Janis: 😠 Janis: but if she does come to this party Janis: 🤬 potential Jimmy: but you ain't factored in she can see my 😍 IRL Jimmy: have another go Janis: 😡 Janis: so festive of her Janis: #2 bringing the 🤢 Jimmy: proud of you Janis: Babe 😊😌 Janis: are they all there? Jimmy: yeah Janis: wow ✨ miracles never cease 🙄 Jimmy: 👀 🛍 about to go ask if there's owt for us Janis: real 🎅 right there Jimmy: gonna pretend I can't understand her answer Jimmy: if that other dickhead can get away with it Janis: 😏 Jimmy: Where's Libi when I need her? Janis: she could rinse them Jimmy: I'd dip into the tip jar to see it Janis: too bad she's probably having her tea right now Janis: downsides of being 4 Jimmy: can't promise her owt better off this menu Janis: sounds like too much excitement for one day Janis: my nan'll be fuming Jimmy: I'll be round to make it up to her in a bit 🦷🌹🦷 Janis: no tah, Romeo Jimmy: spoilsport Janis: you wanted an outfit, I'm out 👀 🛍 Jimmy: watch your 🦶 in the stampede Janis: it's mental Janis: 🥊 for the bargains Jimmy: do you a 🥊 alongside my 🐄☕ Jimmy: high scores over here Janis: you're on Jimmy: 🖋👂 til my next break Janis: cute Jimmy: Bill's 👻 on at me to write you a sonnet Janis: how many did he crack out? Janis: so many hoes Jimmy: I'd ask but he's flirting now Jimmy: never takes a break, him Janis: Oh Bill Janis: the slutty friend in this sitcom Jimmy: *romcom Janis: so soz Jimmy: 😘 Janis: can't believe how cliche this shit is and we're still getting new fans Jimmy: just that good Janis: thanks, I am Jimmy: said it before Jimmy: as a muse, you're 🥇 Janis: you're not so bad yourself Jimmy: I'll aim my 😳 at their table, tah for the MASSIVE compliment Janis: I could do better but Jimmy: ? Janis: maybe it'll make me 😳 Jimmy: you're in hell, there's your excuse Jimmy: *🥵 Janis: I already know what we're gonna do at this party and honestly, I would've come even if you didn't want me to Janis: 'til you you did Jimmy: will you come here? Janis: yes Jimmy: 🚫🏃 Janis: okay Janis: but now, yeah? Jimmy: what kind of question is that? Janis: One I want you to answer Jimmy: one you know the answer to Jimmy: 'course now Janis: 👍 Janis: hold on Jimmy: I don't care if they're still here, that's not why Janis: No? Jimmy: I'll still want you here when they've pissed off Janis: I know Janis: I wanna be there Janis: you know, with you Jimmy: I know it gets a bit Jimmy: what I mean and don't Jimmy: what's for them and what's for you Janis: headfuck Janis: but we both knew that Jimmy: yeah Janis: I can handle it Jimmy: I wouldn't have picked you if I didn't reckon you could Janis: not a total bastard Jimmy: just 🤏 Janis: I like it Jimmy: obvs, your type is 🎅 Janis: 💩heads? Janis: maybe Jimmy: works for me Janis: [show up gal] Jimmy: [have an epic makeout sesh in front of all these shoppers going past and the gals inside 👀🍿 through the huge windows] Janis: [you've earnt it] Jimmy: [and Mia always deserves to be fuming] Janis: [very true honey, we know you and Pablo is all but over now] Jimmy: [he won't have bought you any goals gifts, what are you gonna do buy them yourself and imply they are from him? awkward] Janis: [didn't come to your friendmas even though you told him to, he's not serving his purpose hen] Jimmy: [notp in every sense] Janis: [we been knew, bye gals, we aren't remotely thinking about you rn] Jimmy: [lowkey never are, you're a flimsy excuse at most huns] Janis: [one we don't need currently] Jimmy: [are you coming in when his break is over or are you off again gal?] Janis: [we're coming in 'cos he asked you to stay] Jimmy: [we'll make you food you actually wanna eat, it's been ages since breakfast] Janis: [just try and find somewhere to perch and chill] Jimmy: [we'll do you the favour of saying Mia made the gals storm past you mid makeout or whatever so you don't have to sit with them] Janis: [lmao imagine, bring your festive spirit down more than the kids chatting up a storm earlier lmao] Jimmy: [that's the last thing we need, he'd get in trouble by letting you sit in the staff area before he made you share their table lol] Janis: [should do that, you know his managers long gone for xmas lol] Jimmy: [honestly go ahead gal we haven't done any of the getting in trouble stuff yet so his record is spotless rn] Janis: [us 😈 lmao] Jimmy: 👍? Janis: 👍 Janis: like what you've done with the place Jimmy: it were a bit more 🎄 but some dickhead nicked loads of it Janis: shocking Janis: some people have no shame Jimmy: if you reckon that's bad, you'll never get your head round how some people spend their 🚬 breaks, Judith Jimmy: enough to make you 😳 Janis: The people with holes and ink all over their body have bad habits? 😱 Janis: will not hear of it Jimmy: SO pure 😇 Janis: you had a costume change of 💘? Jimmy: that one's gotta be yours, Tiny Tim, for seeing the good in everyone's 💘 Janis: cheers for not calling me a 🐷 anymore, I guess Jimmy: you're welcome 🐸 Janis: 😏 Janis: don't fancy eating flies though Jimmy: Dunno if I could keep faking 😍 for you and your new diet Janis: it is a big ask Janis: wonder if I can convince the gals it's the new thing though Jimmy: nowt more #goals than a lad who'll pick flies out of his 🦷🦷 for you Jimmy: they'll FINALLY know their 💕 is real Janis: Beautiful, truly Jimmy: I'll pass it on to Bill's 👻 Janis: bit rude that he's not solely focused on our story Jimmy: *I'll 👻🥊 Janis: hot Jimmy: that's the ☕ I'm 🤹 Janis: I couldn't actually work here Jimmy: I couldn't actually have you work here Janis: fight for the tips too real Janis: I get it Jimmy: that'll do for why Janis: go on Jimmy: what? Janis: give me the bulletpoints Jimmy: you're alright 🤓 Janis: tah, babe Jimmy: and I'm alright for not 🖋 you a naughty list Jimmy: which you know were what I meant Janis: you're 🤹 Janis: I know Janis: can't blame me for trying Jimmy: you heard me #notallsantas Jimmy: don't wanna watch you sleep either, tah Janis: I appreciate you saying that Janis: don't sound at all like you're gonna Jimmy: 👀 Janis: thank god the sleepover didn't happen Janis: you and 💀👑 meet over my corpse Jimmy: I'll sort a new one since you're 💔 Janis: with who? Jimmy: I'm just the 💪🏆 Jimmy: up to you, that Janis: 🎅👴😎☕ Janis: party Jimmy: and what, we all chuck our 🔑s in a bowl? Jimmy: or just pass you around Janis: UM Janis: how dare you, we do face masks and watch movies Jimmy: 🥱😴 Janis: 😱😱 BABES Janis: 😭 Jimmy: SOZ Janis: you are SO uninvited from the gangbang now Jimmy: 😭😭😭 Janis: it's me who's a 🍆 down Janis: you're so selfish Jimmy: if you've still got that 🪒 it's easily sorted Janis: bit rapey Janis: 😎☕ is basically an open invitation in this place Jimmy: no need to just castrate me with your 🗨 Jimmy: there's my consent Janis: you aren't bleeding out yet Janis: sorry Jimmy: I'll stop it with the steam wand Janis: ooh Janis: resourceful Jimmy: Oi, don't sound so surprised, dickhead Janis: I didn't expect you to have really considered castration that much, tbh Janis: but yes 💪🧠 Jimmy: never gonna unlock all my kinks with that attitude Janis: 😂 Janis: you're keeping the list 🔒 Jimmy: when you're ready for it, I'll give you the bulletpoints Janis: How am I not ready for it? Jimmy: you're here for a start Jimmy: what are we gonna do get a wet floor sign out and stick a 🧹 through the door handle? Janis: are we going to do that? Jimmy: that on your list? Janis: Well, it is now Jimmy: good, 'cause we ain't gonna have time to do more than the one ✔ before Doris is kicking off for her ☕ or invite Janis: She can wait Janis: I don't want to share you right now Jimmy: [showing up for 😈 antics because his manager ain't here and we don't care what our co-workers think] Janis: [live your best lives guys there is no reason not to] Jimmy: [Pete if you're here ILY and you would do the exact same with your gf so but fuck the rest of y'all truly] Janis: [maybe not exactly the same if you're a little less extra but yes, we aren't interested] Jimmy: [you're a bit older and chiller but you know] Janis: [soz you aren't living a romcom lmao god bless] Jimmy: [JJ out here doing the most and living their dreams from day 1] Janis: [we just skirting around our trauma and trying to live and be young and I love that for you] Jimmy: [literally imagine just having to go back to work like 👋 in a bit as if that didn't just happen I always die thinking about stuff like this] Janis: [lol your life, hence I think you should go back out shopping for a bit girl 'til he's ready to leave] Jimmy: [thank god you're both shameless because even though nobody would've heard anything with the christmas tunes and how busy it is, everyone totally knows] Janis: [y'all aren't subtle, enjoy the #bants and/or disgust from your coworkers Jimothy soz] Jimmy: [making friends everywhere he goes, you're welcome for the fact you're gonna get sacked from here because you're not leaving Dublin in a hot sec like you think you are] Janis: [you're all teens/young adults, y'all be getting messy in all the ways, don't judge lol] Jimmy: [mhmm and we know the kinda hipster peeps who be working there ain't it so shhh] Janis: that girl with the pink hair and neck tat gave me the biggest evils Jimmy: it's just her face Jimmy: 😒 part of our uniform Jimmy: and her hair's rose gold, very festive of her, get it right Janis: roots down to her eyebrows and all Janis: tell your girlfriend she's safe it's #fake Jimmy: oh Ashleeeee Jimmy: I'll tell her to get down the salon Janis: or stick a santa hat on Janis: problem solved if she covers her face with it too Jimmy: she'd probably make a better ☕ blind an' all Janis: you're 🥇 are you? Jimmy: you're asking questions you know the answer to again Janis: I don't drink it, I can't comment Jimmy: it weren't a #humblebrag she's a 🎄 temp, can't do fuck all but 😒 and gone before her roots'll reach her chin Janis: makes sense Janis: least you can blame the 🐄☕ on her Jimmy: except 💀👑 and co's, reckon they'll know that were me, if they ever know Janis: none of them are asking for no 🐄 'cos it makes them shit their brains out Janis: but that extra 1/8 lbs will give it away 😣 😖 😫 😩 🥺 😢 😭 😤 😠 😡 🤬 🤯 Jimmy: if it made 'em 💩 they'd ask for it, hoard the laxatives for another day, I get it Janis: True Janis: 🙄 Jimmy: soz if you find any 💩 in the changing rooms though, mate Jimmy: 🐄☕ well into double figures Janis: that's just any other day for Penney's Janis: but I'll sign your name if you like Jimmy: Tah Janis: gold sharpie Janis: make it festive Jimmy: just like that, going from muse to artist, you Janis: A ⭐ is born Janis: don't ruin it for me when I get my grammy and you're an alcoholic Jimmy: nowt fake about their 💕 Jimmy: if you don't go that hard for me when my missus, Ashlee is front row, you ain't having that oscar Janis: 😏 Janis: only to catch her 😒 on camera Jimmy: bollocks, in it for the 👏👏🌹👏 you Janis: you're just in it to be serenaded so don't @ me mate Jimmy: not denying it Janis: 😍 x1000 Jimmy: owt to give me a break from these fucking 🎄🎵 Janis: reckon the staff here have gone full zombie Janis: 💀 in the 👀 and 🧠 Jimmy: bit rude of you not to leave me for 💀💀💀 back there Jimmy: could be us rotting but you're playing 💔 Janis: Rosie was gonna passive-aggressively ask me to buy something or leave if I didn't Jimmy: taking orders from her'll do nowt for them gay rumours Jimmy: need a #LAD to tell you what to do, duh Jimmy: I'll give you a shout when I find one Janis: Shut up, s'why I left before she could say fuck all Janis: and how are there gonna be any gay rumours when the reason she's pissed off is 'cos she's jealous Jimmy: depends who she's jealous of Janis: if she's gay that's her problem Janis: but she's jealous of me, FYI Janis: take the compliment Jimmy: don't sound like me, that Jimmy: you're the 👏👏🌹👏 chaser Janis: 1. rude 2. bollocks Jimmy: 1. ain't much of a compliment if she fancies me 2. I'll have you know my head's genetically this big Janis: you know what you look like and you're well 😏 about it Janis: not saying you're wrong Jimmy: I know what she looks like an' all Janis: not like she's the only one 😍 is it Jimmy: my inbox is as full as yours Janis: yeah Jimmy: so you've got nowt to be jealous of Janis: I'm not jealous Jimmy: what then? Janis: I'm just saying she is Janis: fuck sake big head, don't get it twisted Jimmy: don't get a mard on Janis: I'm not, idiot Jimmy: 👌 Janis: Are you? Jimmy: ? Janis: in a mood? Jimmy: why would I be? Janis: I don't know Janis: why would I be, like Jimmy: 😒 ain't in your job description Janis: I'm not Janis: I only left so you could actually get some work done Janis: that's all Jimmy: alright Janis: don't actually care what your coworkers reckon but you do have to work with them Janis: least for a while longer Jimmy: I'll live Janis: it's about making shit easier Janis: not harder, yeah Jimmy: you did Jimmy: not saying I'm 😁👍 or nowt but Janis: not even a little? Janis: shit review, that Jimmy: you can have one of the dead eyed ones 😀 or 😃 Janis: I'd rather 😒 Jimmy: [a 😒 selfie like there you go ILY] Janis: tah Jimmy: I rate you, you know I do Janis: shh Jimmy: not gonna sing it but Janis: if we've got to be a romcom Janis: not being one with a musical number Jimmy: won't argue 🤐 Jimmy: #notallnortherners 🎭🩰🎤 Janis: you're warning me how embarrassing you're gonna be at this party Janis: I get it Jimmy: can't say you ain't been now Jimmy: #notalldaddys an' all Jimmy: dickhead dad if I'm owt Janis: however goals that may be Janis: I'd sooner grate my face off Jimmy: you always know EXACTLY what to say Jimmy: really fulfil my nursing kink, that will Janis: how great would you look if you stayed with me Janis: my only positive, gone Jimmy: Piss off Jimmy: be even more mysterious to make up for losing how fit you are Janis: 😶😶😶 Janis: what is she thinking Jimmy: 🤯🤯🤯 Janis: do you if you like Janis: #muteandcute Jimmy: the couple who self harms together are obvs gonna stay together Janis: 💀💀 means forever 😃😃 Jimmy: long as it don't backfire when everyone reckons I've been cracking onto Asia's dad 💋 Janis: reunite 'em for the holidays Janis: ✨💕 Jimmy: you're really earning that 😇 costume for tonight Janis: you'll still steal the show, babe Jimmy: you ARE the show, babe 👀🍿🔪 Jimmy: Ashleeeeeee's got nowt on 💀👑 Jimmy: or my long lens Janis: 😂 Janis: dope Jimmy: promise not to do you like princess di, know you'd hate everyone going on about you for that long Janis: what good is 👏👏🌹👏 if I can't 👂 Janis: obvs Jimmy: 👻 perks Jimmy: get to be a right nosy dickhead forever Janis: suits you Janis: no 🧛 perks except the taste Jimmy: 🦷🦷 suit you Jimmy: what about 💪🏆🏃🥇? Janis: that's just me Jimmy: SUCH an athlete Jimmy: I've heard Janis: I'll show you if you ever stop fussing and nursing Jimmy: BUT 🥺 Janis: I know Janis: but I need a redemption arc Jimmy: nowt wrong with 😈 Janis: falling on my arse though Janis: 👎 Jimmy: 👍 for me Jimmy: but I get it, you wanna impress me Janis: if I wanted to impress you, I just would Janis: it's easy Jimmy: 🗨 is Janis: you'll 👀 Jimmy: *📷 Janis: if you can catch me Jimmy: challenge accepted Janis: 💪 Jimmy: tah very much, compliment accepted an' all Janis: when you out? Jimmy: [a time which I hope isn't forever away because work sucks enough without your co-workers gossiping about your love life] Janis: 👍 Janis: might compliment you then Jimmy: you find a party? Janis: [a selection of, 'cos these teens are extra] Jimmy: we gonna #bless the one or do a tour? Janis: a tour is actually a good idea Janis: fuck it up Janis: go before it's really shit Jimmy: there you go again sounding 😱😱 that I've had a 🥇💡 Janis: like I'm meant to reckon every 💭 you have is golden Jimmy: glad we're on the same 📖 FINALLY Janis: 🙄 Janis: I'm on a whole new book, babes Jimmy: alright, give us a chance Jimmy: basically illiterate Janis: awh Janis: keep practising on those coffee cups hun Jimmy: good job I nicked our kid's 🖍 Janis: long as it weren't a swap Jimmy: @ nspcc Janis: you're alright Janis: this country is infamous for not giving a shit about kids Jimmy: that'll be why Ian brought us here Janis: if he tries to give you to some nuns, run Jimmy: into their arms #kinkunlocked Janis: sure that's another costume Janis: want an outfit change? Jimmy: not very festive though, is it? Jimmy: if I were the baby Jesus, that's one thing, but his groupies Janis: well you can't go as baby Jesus Janis: that's obscene Janis: and where am I getting a loincloth as this hour, thank you Jimmy: such a letdown, you Jimmy: seen you piss about and craft a 🐑 for fuck's sake, it's ALMOST like you DON'T WANT to make this happen for me Janis: it's almost like you're a complete exhibitionist Jimmy: Lucas would support me, knew I should've picked him Janis: no one's stopping you Jimmy: UGH and now you're not even gonna fight for me 😭😭 Janis: you'll come crawling back when he's trying to pick up more 12 year olds again Jimmy: less of a rom com more of a crimewatch reconstruction Janis: you, the clueless wife who had NO idea Janis: sure, Sharon Janis: turning a blind eye so you didn't have to fuck him Jimmy: chuffed he's pissing off out so I can watch telly without his loud breathing doing my head in Janis: You're an Emmerdale fan, definitely Janis: neighbours and home and away in the afternoons Jimmy: Doctors is my top pic though obvs Janis: your only friends are the characters in your stories Janis: sad, honestly Jimmy: Oi don't forget the 🐩 I'm starting to look like Jimmy: it hates me, obvs, so I get why you didn't 💭 Janis: it doesn't want you to baby it but it's all you wanted it for Jimmy: he won't put a 👶 in me and that's 💔 but OMG it's just like one of my fave plots #conflicted Janis: Sharon, you're barren Janis: you need to come to terms with it Jimmy: DUN DUN DUN Jimmy: but it's me doing my own piss poor drum roll Janis: 😂 meanwhile, casual serial killer b plot with your mans Jimmy: Sharon, you're having a mental breakdown Jimmy: this is a REAL doctor's office Janis: not you trying to seduce your fave doctor and it's actually your GP and he's gonna call the psych ward Jimmy: 🚨🚨🚨 Jimmy: your man is gonna pin his crimes on you, hun Janis: omg Janis: when the truth outs, you're gonna be fully gone Janis: maybe in a cheeky coma Jimmy: bit of amnesia so I reckon I did do it an' all Janis: oh god Janis: so like a woman Janis: just lethal inject me 'cos I'm a monster who can't even have kids Jimmy: Oh Sharon Janis: Lucas will keep getting away with it for 4 more seasons Janis: then your ghost will pop up and it'll all get sorted in an ep Jimmy: I'll work with the 👻s of his victims, grab a spin off out of it Janis: full circle, you watching your show from your armchair in your dark, depressing lounge Jimmy: 🎨 Janis: welcome for the A on your next art project Jimmy: IOU Janis: not bothered about credit Jimmy: alright, what do you want? Janis: 🤔 Jimmy: go on Janis: I need to think of an idea right now? Jimmy: 🚫⏲ Jimmy: just no need to hold back if you've already got one Janis: I'll take my time Janis: no point saying something now, thinking of something I want more later Jimmy: won't have you 🖋🩸 it's alright Jimmy: if you change your mind, just tell me that Janis: you're bad at business Jimmy: that'll be why I ain't the manager Janis: 💔 babe Janis: the free time you'd have 🤯🤯 Jimmy: could train my own 🐕 Janis: hey now Janis: that's my 💰 Jimmy: real 💔 Janis: in it for the 👏👏🌹👏💰💰 Jimmy: I got that Janis: 👍 Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hush Janis: got outfits to buy and christmas tunes to hear for the 42nd time today Jimmy: I won't serenade you then Janis: if you can get a christmas 🥇 then I will 👰💍🤵 for the royalties Jimmy: alright, piss off I need to crack on with that and you've got a 👰💍🤵 to plan Janis: 👋😘 Jimmy: 💕 Janis: [party time] Jimmy: [obvs we just want them to have a nice time but have you got anything specific in mind?] Janis: [hmm, obvs the main party is tomorrow, so we can be more chill, but we can also make drama if we want 'cos yolo] Jimmy: [I was thinking at one of the parties they hit they should see Mia cheating again cos Pablo is on the outs and also she just would anyway] Jimmy: [but that could be today or tomorrow like] Janis: [we should do today 'cos you ain't the focus tomorrow remotely hun, and it's just fun] Jimmy: [agreed, the focus tomorrow is being festive af as always, as much fluff as I can clutch with my grabby hands] Janis: [so if anything, get drama that isn't them, aka flat whites etc out tonight] Jimmy: [love it because Mia would think she was being so sneaky but we see you hen] Janis: [merry christmas beech] Jimmy: [gather that blackmail lads, you'll want it when she gets him sacked by being a Karen] Janis: [yep thanks for not before xmas at least] Jimmy: [I'm sure she's wishing she could rn] Janis: [too bad you walked out in disgust lmao it got so much worse] Jimmy: [sucks to suck gals] Janis: [what drama can we do with y'all hmm] Jimmy: [unrelated but can we say they're drunk in love enough that he stays at mcvickers because Ian sucks and we don't need that in our lives] Janis: [yes, just know the Libi is gonna come in in the AM to wake you up and out you lol] Jimmy: [ngl LOVE that even if you two won't] Janis: [in my mind if she ain't snuck in Janis' bed before she's even home, she comes in well early as kids do so LOL] Jimmy: [he's used to that with Bobby cos that boy is always sleeping with him we know] Janis: [and I alluded to it in a previous convo so go us, anyway, yes, that can totally happen, it wouldn't be far if he had to run so makes sense] Jimmy: [it's beyond obvious that you both never wanna leave each other so] Janis: [let's not lie to ourselves lads except lowkey we do lol] Jimmy: [tbf this is the first time you've had a chance to get drunk together since fake dating started cos we didn't have enough booze on the school trip and unlike the flatwhites you aren't lightweights who got drunk during that friendmas game sesh] Janis: [hohohohohoh the potential] Jimmy: [evil laugh x 3 because Winnie is too] Janis: [let's hit up this first shit party, idk if she genuinely got you a costume to put on or what, Imma say yeah but idk if I have anything particularly festive for you so I'll have to look] Jimmy: [I hope she did, what's more festive than crossdressing] Janis: [get it boy, you'll look hot and no one can deny] Jimmy: [she should be an angel like in Hazel's book even if we can't document the lewk] Janis: [I'm sure I'll be able to find that content somehow] Jimmy: [I'm not even gonna try because I know I won't, Ezra Miller and Harry Styles can only do so much and I don't think they've been festive lol] Janis: [yeah, I'm trying to think of like a movie or something where it was a thing hmm] Janis: [oh, the try guys do it, maybe eugene?] Jimmy: [body shots have to happen at one of these shit parties because #mood] Janis: [very easily done with your lewks lol] Jimmy: [that's what I was thinking, just think of all the love bites there would actually be too though what a statement] Janis: [turns up to your function in no clothes, excuse me, y'all are already on one today, there will be no chill we know it] Jimmy: [tipsy before we get there as well tah Ian] Janis: [thank you for nothing but that dickhead] Jimmy: [and actually being there for once so he can stay at mcvickers and be a carefree teen] Janis: [I mean yes but you are those kids dad not jimothy so I will not applaud you] Jimmy: [doing the least and we hate you so much] Janis: [I think Mia should be at the first party and we can catch her whilst we're still a bit sober lol] Jimmy: [yeah definitely one of the earlier ones, it makes sense for that reason and because the parties would obvs start out more basic and get wilder as the night goes on cos most people aren't throwing a rager on christmas eve eve] Janis: [yeah, and if she's at some party that's trying to be sophisticated and lowkey and then they show up 1. LOL 2. she would be caught unawares] Jimmy: [ooh what if she's just gone out with Ella and not the others so it's double tea because that's not in the friendmas spirit] Janis: [I really imagined a date and I was like lovely haha, but totally a vibe, pretending they're busy if the other gals are at another party or whatever] Jimmy: [I might fuck around and give Jimothy an injury of some sort for christmas cos tis the season and Ian is 100% that bitch] Janis: [yeah, he is, a vibe, but not, so rude] Jimmy: [it's gonna have to be christmas eve or day cos they are going to Skerries for boxing day so note to self] Janis: [what if what if that's why she goes to see him xmas day, ultimate rudeness Ian] Jimmy: [yeah because we did say they must] Janis: [dunno where you're huffing off to ian but uninterested, we must] Jimmy: [and then it makes even more sense why they go to Skerries/don't try very hard to come back when they get snowed in, not desperate to spend time with you sir ] Janis: [it all makes sense, also remember the ice bath we can make you a snow pack] Jimmy: [so yeah after whatever they're doing christmas eve, remind me he's gotta go home alone so that can kick off] Jimmy: [also if people have been stupid enough to leave presents under their trees they should steal some] Janis: [noteddd, that's so grinchy and why you don't have xmas parties but with friends people, you deserve it lol, also if we wanna do some messaging, they could lose Mia and have to split up to find her rn, could be amusing] Jimmy: [not all the gifts thank you lads but at least one from every party that it's an option as a memento, ooh good idea boo] Janis: report back, scooby Janis: I'm in the bogs, no sign 😱 Jimmy: leave your 🐕 fetish out of it and concentrate Jimmy: she ain't outside ⛄ Janis: alright, you wanna be daphne Janis: full bimbo now Jimmy: piss off do I wanna be a ginger Jimmy: have a word with yourself Janis: omg VELMA 🤓 Jimmy: how am I not Fred dressed like this? Janis: he was so fashionable Janis: I wanna be Fred though so fuck you Jimmy: UGH fine Jimmy: I know you're 🤓 and I'm him but crack on lying to yourself Janis: that's rude Janis: don't make me your #2 Jimmy: if the glasses fit, girl Janis: 😡 Janis: i'm going kitchen Janis: it's a long shot but i'm getting drink for me and none for you Jimmy: smash some glasses and plates, you'll calm down Jimmy: or you know, make me a 🥪 Janis: knuckle sandwich Jimmy: 😍😍 Janis: so distracting Jimmy: you Janis: nah Janis: we're on a mission focus your 😍😍 Jimmy: [sending her pics of #bants things like I've found her, oh no wait] Janis: [have a lil game, nerds] Jimmy: [obvs you're gonna have to find her eventually I doubt there's that many places she could be so be silly while you can] Janis: Jim I've found her Janis: omg Janis: come here Jimmy: [does even though he's expecting a pisstake] Janis: [hopefully this house isn't that big because you did not tell him anything there lmao, also be quiet or she'll see and you'll ruin it] Jimmy: [she said she was heading to the kitchen so likewise and we'll cross paths lol] Jimmy: 😱😱😱 Janis: [you're so conspicuous rn god bless, but keep an eye on her best you can until you can get dirt] Janis: be 😎 nerd Jimmy: keep your head down 🦒 Janis: i'd say make me but you'll just be 😍😍 Jimmy: [a LOOK that's meant to be pisstakey like what am I like but it's just shamelessly a LOOK lol] Janis: [you know when bitches always kiss in movies when they need to hide, doing that, as if there is a need okay] Jimmy: [love that for you] Janis: [oh the tropes, at least you won't seem arsed by Mia remotely so she'll let her guard down lol] Jimmy: [we're just a lad getting covered in silver, you can relax Mia] Jimmy: [will style that into a 🎅 beard because he's an art hoe] Janis: [what a lewk you two can share] Jimmy: [doing a semi decent job of lip reading Mia even though he's not deaf and whispering to her what he's worked out, doesn't technically need to whisper but the excuse is we're being inconspicuous] Janis: [doing the most to pretend he's being scandalous in ya ear but we listening for real obvs and making our 😳🤤 responses make sense 'do you think there's a free room going?' like do you reckon we'll catch her at it, again] Jimmy: [telling her about all the places he found that you could fuck when he was searching for her, which is lowkey suggestive af boy especially because Mia isn't as shameless as you pair and wouldn't hook up in some of these places] Janis: [telling him which you wanna do first but it's actually where you reckon she might if she's gonna] Jimmy: [agreeing because you agree that it's likely and you're on the same page here] Janis: 🕡 Jimmy: *⏲ Janis: same diff Janis: can't lose 👀 on her Janis: what do we do to kill time without being too distracted Jimmy: 🍻? Janis: [goes to get drink like okay] Jimmy: [is 👀ing you Mia] Janis: gonna suggest this to the gals next time I see em Jimmy: they already follow her about Janis: clealy ain't as good at it as us Janis: but no Janis: the face paint Janis: if you kissed anyone else i'd know instantly Jimmy: bit rude to call me a slag for how I'm dressed but Janis: is it though Jimmy: I just happen to be a slag, alright? Jimmy: nowt to do with any of this Jimmy: [gestures to the lewk] Janis: [looks at him for ages like we forgot what we're doing] Janis: alright Jimmy: are you? Jimmy: [😏 af] Janis: [🖕 which can at least look bantsy to the fans] Jimmy: [a lol soz if that's not inconspicuous hun but the bae is funny] Janis: [bring him a drink back, after taking a massive swig from his like ha ha] Jimmy: [taking pics of her because an angel being 😈] Jimmy: [likewise have forgotten what we're supposed to be doing here for a sec] Janis: [casual photoshoot, be a shame to waste your outfits] Jimmy: [Mia's got no game lbr, you've got time] Janis: [god knows the state of this lad by the time she's ready lol] Jimmy: [another good reason it's an earlier party don't be having a Buster and Chloe rapey situation Mia] Janis: [at least you truly would be as gone, that's the vibe not that] Jimmy: [if your father could see you now hun] Janis: [#disappointeddaddy] Jimmy: [I wish they could call him like come get your daughter but we need this hook up to happen first] Janis: [they should genuinely then bounce though lmao she would actually be so fuming] Jimmy: [don't do it yourself though Jimothy the accent is a dead giveaway, get the bae on it] Janis: [seriously, do some voice work hen, at least a party helps that he'll barely be able to hear, use the house phone] Jimmy: [merry christmas bitch, enjoy the trouble you'll be in] Janis: [hohaha, ANYWAYS, we know you can't stop looking at him gal, how you manage this at all is lowkey impressive lol] Jimmy: [when you get to the second party/on the way there haha you can be as extra as you want, that mission is done and dusted] Janis: [we're so buzzing with ourselves at the prospect of ruining her xmas, practically skip there lmao] Jimmy: [don't you twist you ankle boy as hilarious as that would be] Janis: [we can't have more injuries, and you'd make a right mess of yourself if you fell, it's freezing and you've got no clothes on lol] Jimmy: [yeah that's not festive or goals so be careful please] Janis: [what do we wanna do at this next party then] Jimmy: [just have a nice time tbh lads] Janis: [just partay] Jimmy: [do them body shots and other drinking games cos we're having a messy one and we're competitive af] Janis: [get crunkalunk honey, we can skip to when he's left in the AM now if we wanna] Janis: [after Libi has come in and is like WHERE'S BOBBY as if they also have him tucked up in the bed] Jimmy: [unless there's anything that gets said or done when they're drunk af that we need to know, we know the vibes] Jimmy: [Oh Libi I love you so much but they should facetime him on Cass' phone cos she'll be THRILLED cos you know he's sleeping there and nobody sleeps in that house except Ian] Janis: [ooh, good point actually, we'll do that] Janis: [but yes, poor Jimothy like come sign bitch we gotta talk about santa] Jimmy: [god bless, when you just wanna sleep and snuggle your bae but you got so many jobs] Janis: [being like YOU GOT YOUR COOKIES YOU GOT YOUR MILK AND CARROTS like a checklist 'cos I remember how exciting xmas eve was you were lowkey hysterical all day] Jimmy: [plotting how you're gonna stay awake and peep Santa with those gifts] Janis: [just looking at Jimmy like you ain't gonna get no sleep lol] Jimmy: [mouthing at her to kill you away from the lip reading expert's gaze cos you can't do a dramatic death scene rn the kids are chatting a mile a minute] Janis: [pew pew at his head, also mcvickers gonna be fuming lad] Jimmy: [at least you can leave without having to see them cos that staircase] Janis: [chase you away lmao] Jimmy: [hold in the wee that you clearly will need, your house isn't far] Janis: [run boy run, but we'll throw it back to the end of your partying now] Jimmy: [we should start it as a 🚬 break because that's always good for feels and closeness when it's cold and you're half naked even if we're drunk enough not to feel it] Janis: [just drunkenly telling him about crayon colours we looked up lol] Jimmy: [guessing the colours based on their weird names unless it's obvs and then we're just pisstaking] Janis: [there's some wild ones hun, we're probably making up loads too] Jimmy: [likewise but writing them on her so she has to try and work it out when we could just say it] Janis: [we know where this is devolving and fast, wherever you are not being suitable so you're like hmpf] Jimmy: [on some random person's garden furniture that they should've brought in for the winter but have not] Janis: [you're both gonna start shivering before long so walk in the direction of the houses tah] Jimmy: [handholding and doing the little swinging thing because you've been spending all this time with the bubs] Janis: [loling at him] Jimmy: [playfully nudge her like excuse you but don't push her over because of that drunk and slippy combo please] Janis: ['you're such a nerd, you know'] Jimmy: ['Piss off' but the tone is less fuck off and more yeah I know but so are you] Janis: ['fine' and goes to walk off but likewise is joking so doesn't really] Jimmy: [nevertheless pulling her back and close into you as if she's really going because don't] Janis: ['you want me to stay?' even though you know 'cos how close you are rn] Jimmy: ['don't you want to?' even though she clearly do] Janis: [thinking he's making a point about asking stupid questions like 😏 fine] Jimmy: [just softly touching that 😏 face looking at her like no tell me you want to because we're drunk enough to have been genuinely asking and wanting an answer] Janis: ['I just want you to tell me' shrugs 'no confusion'] Jimmy: ['I just want you' because true] Janis: ['go on then' like it's a challenge but you say it so soft so like it's not] Jimmy: [the most intense kiss ever not even because it's a challenge but because the emotions are just that high okay] Janis: [no time to even talk just taking him by the hand back to yours aka mcvickers not all that way lol] Jimmy: [for a million reasons I hope whatever house you were at isn't far from there but the main one being all the kissing pauses there will be along the way regardless because that's the mood we're in] Janis: [we ain't even gon make it home energy] Jimmy: [100% support that always] Janis: [but you do, and frankly, I don't condone ladder climbing in this state so like be quiet and go in the real way] Jimmy: [that'll be a #mood in itself so] Janis: [getting him out of that santa outfit folornly like you are devvo lol] Jimmy: [gal if you're doing a pouty lip in any way you know what's gonna happen] Janis: [but of course 'why don't you care what people think?' once you can get words out again] Jimmy: ['I care what you think' because we're drunk so we can answer a question and answer it honestly] Janis: ['really?' and a confusion face] Jimmy: [😍 af about her cute expression so we lowkey forget about the question] Janis: [nudge] Jimmy: [a look like ?] Janis: ['why do you care?'] Jimmy: ['about you?' when you were only talking about what she thinks but we're drunk and we've gone deeper with it] Janis: [nods like sure, as you brought it up] Jimmy: ['it's less shit being here 'cause of you, if nowt else you should have the same back off me'] Janis: [when you can't help smile at that 'I don't want you to leave Dublin'] Jimmy: ['I'll stay' like it's that simple remotely but it is when you're drunk af] Janis: ['but you hate it here' and a look like same, obvs] Jimmy: ['I hate it everywhere' because again true] Janis: ['me too' not even trying to be banty like literally yeah same] Jimmy: [a little snugg because we don't want the bae to be sad] Janis: [snugging and sighing 'this is so weird'] Jimmy: [an even bigger sigh because it is and you don't want it to be and just saying sorry in the quietest softest voice like did you even actually say that or no] Janis: [at least it's that quiet 'cos you're meant to be that you would hear and you're shaking your head like no no 'not now, specifically or...it's not your fault, you know' 'cos you mean this whole situation for you 'cos you've never and you're like how did this happen so fast and when did we get here] Jimmy: [a shrug because he thinks everything is his fault always thanks Ian so it's like I don't know/believe that actually but we also don't think the bae is full of shit like we think a lot of people are so it's a confusing and conflicting tangle of thoughts up in here as well cos likewise has also never felt like this or expected any of this when he suggested it lol] Janis: ['I mean it' and properly looking at him but not really driving the point home harder than that right now/yet 'it's okay though, isn't it?'] Jimmy: [a nod that encompasses all the things 'are you?' cos if she's okay that's all that matters bye] Janis: ['is it a dealbreaker?' trying to make light of the fact it's like not really no] Jimmy: ['only if you're breaking our deal' like it's not okay if you don't wanna do this anymore even though it's a headfuck because ILY and I will die] Janis: ['I don't want to'] Jimmy: ['what do you want?' as if we don't know sir] Janis: [poke him in the chest] Jimmy: [just resting his hand over hers like okay I accept that and will turn it into a soft gesture] Janis: [when that lowkey says so much about the dynamic and we can't handle it 'let's just-' and kissing him] Jimmy: [kissing will always be easier so I'll allow it kids] Janis: [do that and more 'til you pass out probably 'cos honestly] Jimmy: [gonna let you say her name during at least once if you want boy because we're both not remembering this and we know it'll hit different sober anyway] Janis: [andioop soz you're trashed huns] Jimmy: [but not because it gives us freedom to do things y'all ain't ready for yet] Jimmy: [but soz that Libi will be waking you up early af]

[blueluneacy]

Personal Update

If you've been following me for a while, then you're probably used to this blog going through… Phases. I tend to have periods of high activity and low activity. It's a combination of both my mood and my schedule, but Recently, I discovered something that horrified me, my worst nightmare realized.

After staring at a page for over an hour, I realized I had burnout. I looked for other causes. Maybe I was tired, or sick, or just had writers block. I looked for legitimately any other cause, because the idea of not being able to write absolutely horrifies me. I've always been writing, always been a writer. It was a massive blow to me. I've always heard about burnout, but I thought, never me! Besides, I don't have the time to be lazy, all of you are waiting for my next post. If I don't post soon, people aren't going to care anymore. In a funny twist, I, the person who constantly preaches on how you need to write for yourself, was not doing that.

And it's not to say that I don't enjoy the requests I'm getting! Some of them can be very same, but I have the power to delete something already done! If I don't like it, I don't have to do it, right? Well, sorta. I've been forcing myself to do something… Weird. I've been making myself write requests in order of when I get them, as some sort of act of fairness. Which on the one hand, sounds fair, but on the other, has honestly made me hate some of my own ideas. I hate writing TA Jotaro now, because I'm constantly doing it, and I don't know why. I used to love the concept, hell, I came up with it! Is there something wrong with me? I don't know.

I started looking into cures for burnout, to try and get something, some pill so I could keep working. But, it doesn't work like that, unfortunately. The only way to cure burnout is… To change. To stop, take a break. But I took a short break before, and I'm still here, burnt out. Well, I never really solved the problem of before, I only prolonged the time it would take me to get here. I honestly don't know what to do other than wait. Even writing this feels agonizing to me for some reason. And it's not just jojo, either. I tried writing so much, from stuff with my ocs, other fandoms, even poetry, but nothing came out. I don't know what to do at this point other than wait it out, but that idea scares the heck out of me, if I'm not writing, what do I do?

For those who don't know, I work at a Bath and Body Works as well as go to school. My job isn't my passion, but it helps fund college and it's decent work. The people are weird, but that's not the point of my little anecdote. At work, part of what I do is sell candles. Massive, three wick scented candles, meant to last for over forty hours of continuous burning. But, I also do returns. About once a week, someone comes in and returns an empty candle container,all used up. While I think it's the stupidest thing, our return policy states that we have to take them, so take them I do, looking over the empty container, with metal prongs and char all along the sides. And God, I feel like those empty candle containers right now! And the problem is, at work, we throw them out. You get rid of them and get a new candle. But I can't just throw out my brain and get a new one. And writing is my outlet, my coping mechanism. I don't know what to do with myself when I'm not attempting to write.

A friend of mine told me to look at things from a different angle. To turn what I'm thinking on its head and work from there. So… I'm gonna try. I'm closing requests now, and I'm still going to attempt to work on them, but well… They'll get done eventually, I just don't know when. As for me working on my burn out… I'm going to try and work on something new. I want to finish Wrong with the Reaper, I want to write more Diavolo, I have so many ideas that I feel like could be interesting and outside my normal realm of what I do, and thinking about them does make me excited in this time where I honestly feel so… Dull.

They say burn out can manifest physically, in extreme exhaustion. I've been sleeping almost all the time when I'm not working, to the point where my dad asked if I needed to have a sleep study. In a way, this realization has made a lot of pieces in my head click.

The raffle is still gonna end at the same time. I'm gonna draw tomorrow still and make a post, and the raffle winnings are gonna take precedent over the requests, just because they're a prize and all. I'm hoping maybe these longer flics will help too, maybe I'll work more on prose or something.

If you want to interact with me, talk to me, or maybe see my wips (always lookin for proof readers lmao), join my discord server at https://discord.gg/gQEEVMf. While I'm still gonna check my inbox here, it's a much easier way to reach me and talk to me.

Thanks for reading. You guys mean so much more to mean than you could ever possibly know. In a way, my burnout has stemmed from my constant race of being up to my own standards, as well as trying to be something that uplifts your day in my writing. I don't know anymore. What I'm trying to say is, thank you all. I'm writing is at almost four a.m. when I couldn't sleep, and I'll probably post it when I wake up. I never thought anyone would like my writing, but people who I have considered fucking idols in the jojo writing section of tumblr have even complimented my work, and it just makes me so happy that people I adore like my work, but also terrified, horrified that I will sooner or later disappoint. But, I'm still alive, I'm still living, still going. And I know that if I keep going, eventually, I think I'll get through this.

[loserkusen]

A Change of Heart

It’s 20-BiTeen bitches!!! In celebration the girl in this fic is bi, like yours truly, cause representation matters and if you don’t like it block me. Anyways the anticipated Julian fic.

Oh yeees 😍 can you write a jealous Julian blurb ?♥️

Based off FACE by BROCKHAMPTON 🧡

Word Count: 2,179

She never though she’ll end up in the same position again. After how hard she had worked to convince herself that love wasn’t for her and that it was okay, she found herself stuck in the same spot as always. Wishing she hadn’t started anything to begin with.

(Y/N) had been seeing Julian for a couple of months now. Due to the amount of men and women that had broken her heart, she hated admitting the feelings he evoked in her. The deep connection they had formed was nothing she had felt before which exited her, but made her fearful of the unknown emotions. So she remained guarded and made their relationship as informal as possible. No titles. No commitments. Simply two people getting along and having casual sex.

What she didn’t expect was for her to be sitting in Julian’s kitchen at 2am debating whether to return to bed with the boy she was falling for or to gather her belongings as quickly as possible and walk away from him like she had done many times before. She always felt horrible after the latter, but it was the only thing she could think of doing whenever she laid wrapped up in his arms wondering how she was going to save herself the heartbreak this time.

The sudden hand on her waist startled her causing her to jump off the kitchen stool. Luckily, the familiar arms held her up saving her the pain and embarrassment of hitting the floor.

"What are you doing up right now?" He held her closer, his feathery hair brushing against her cheek.

"I um- I couldn't sleep" she sat back down turning in the seat to face him. His sleep clouded face and shirtless body stood illuminated by the dim light peaking in through the windows. "I have a headache and was wondering if you had pain killers. I thought they'll be in the kitchen, but I couldn't find them."

"They're in the bathroom angel. You should've asked me."

“I didn’t want to wake you.” Your gaze diverted away from him. Doing anything to avoid his eyes hoping he wouldn't see your watery ones.

"You okay?" He stepped closer, his fingers caressing your cheek as he lifted your chin. Silence followed his words. She wasn't. She was quickly realizing she was far from okay. Falling for someone who seemed too good for her. Unable to accept the possibly that he could be the one exception. Slowly slipping into a state she promised she would never come close to again.

"I'm just tired Julian." He starred into her eyes for a moment before nodding and reaching for her hand. She followed him back to his room, silently getting under the covers as he searched his bathroom cabinet for the pills. Julian returned with a glass of water and a crewneck sweatshirt too.

"You should put this on. Being cold is probably going to make it worse." You pulled on his soft sweater which happened to smell like his favorite cologne. The familiar scent worked to calm you down and soon enough your stress induced headache settled down. Not much later, you felt Julian's grip on your waist tightening. His arm pulling you close to his chest was becoming a routine whenever you slept over. He held on throughout the night up until the morning. Almost as if trying to make you stay forever.

The next morning, Julian was awakened by the sound of your feet shuffling around his room. He took a deep breath not wanting to open his eyes and see you rushing to leave him once again. His sad reality hit him at the feeling of the empty spot next to him on the bed. Hesitantly, he sat up catching your attention from across the room.

"Hey Julian." She looked caught off guard as she stumbled trying to step into her boots as quickly as possible. "I didn't think you'll be up this early." She looked tense. The quiet room heightened her uneasiness as Julian remained quiet simply gazing at her. It took a couple of minutes for Julian to break the dense silence eating away at both of them.

"Do you have to leave?" His voice was faint making her feel worse for trying to leave unnoticed once again. She turned around searching for her bag trying to avoid his stare. The truth was, she did have to leave. She had to leave before she did something she regretted. Running away from him temporarily allowed her to breathe. She felt like one more moment with him would reveal the inescapable fact she had been trying to avoid for months now; she was in love with him. She was afraid her brain would win over her heart and she'll break whatever relationship they had out of fear of being mistreated again. Julian had stood up now. His hair laid flat against his forehead and various purple marks scattered around his neck. "We could go get breakfast if you want. I would cook for you, but that wouldn't be really smart." He tried to ease the tension sensing your anxious state.

"I actually promised Rachel she could meet me at my place this morning." You turned around finding him closer to you than before. "I'm probably running late at this point." Your hands searched through your bag making sure you weren’t leaving anything behind. His hand reached forward lifting your chin while his other arm wrapped around your waist. Slowly, he leaned in, his lips just hoovering over yours. unable to resist the urge, you leaned forward pressing your lips to his. He pulled you closer, the kiss quickly escalating. After a minute that felt simultaneously like just a second and an eternity, he pulled back but remained close to you.

"Why cant you just stay? At least one time." He stood over you, his eyes trying to read the true emotions hiding behind yours. You stood quietly allowing yourself to lean into his touch. "You always leave (Y/N). I don't understand why." The frustration in his calm voice pulled at your heartstrings.

"Julian I have to go. I'm not doing this right now." You turned on your heel making your way out of his room and straight towards his front door. It was impossible to stop the tears as you walked outside towards your car. Knowing Julian wouldn't follow you, you remained inside your car taking deep breaths to calm your heavy breathing before starting the car on your way to your house.

"I don't know what to do Rachel!" You had been arguing with your best friend over your situation for over an hour at this point. It was all pointless. The conversation just kept going in circles.

"Just admit that you're in love with him and let him know! He wants you (Y/N). I don't understand how you can't see that." She sat on your couch nonchalantly causing your irritation to rise.

"You just don't understand Rachel. How many times did someone else seem to want me before? And how many times did that not end up with me crying over them to you?" You ran your hands through your hair in utter exasperation at the inability to do anything to help yourself. "I don't want to get hurt again. I promised this wouldn't happen to me again, Rachel."

"Just give him a chance (Y/N). He's Julian! Not some trashy guy I warned you about before. He's just as fucked over by the fact that you're not together yet as you are." Tears you thought you couldn't have anymore began to stream down your face again for what seemed like the hundredth time in just a couple hours. "Come here." You slowly walked to your best friend who sat waiting with open arms. You buried your face into her neck silently letting it all out. She knew how much this was hurting you even if you were the only one overthinking the situation. You sat with her for a couple minutes, her hand soothingly running up and down your back. The quiet moment was interrupted by the front door opening revealing a distressed Julian who just stared at the both of you. Quickly you wiped your tears standing up feeling the lump in your throat returning.

"Julian, what are you doing here?" The tension you felt before had returned, only this time it was worse. You saw Rachel shifting behind you probably just uncomfortable as you were.

"I wanted to talk to you. I didn't know I was intruding I'm sorry. I'll leave." His voice was higher than normal hinting that he was trying his hardest to hold back. You stayed quiet simply staring back at Julian who still stood in your living room despite his words.

"You're not intruding. I was about to go." Rachel broke the silence quickly grabbing her phone and walking out the house before you could stop her. Julian remained quiet even with Rachel gone which left you no other option but to start the inevitable conversation you had been dreading.

"What do you want to talk about Julian." You sat back down hoping he would follow.

"You know why I'm here (Y/N)." Tip toeing around the subject wasn't going to help either of you.

"Don't be ambiguous Julian. Please get to the point." He took a deep breath before unleashing everything he had been holding in.

“What are you waiting for?” His words instantly jab at your heart. “Do you just want to sleep around with me for eternity? Do you just want someone to not be alone?” You kept quiet knowing he had every right to complain. “What do you want us to be?” He turned his body towards you now hoping to get a response from you.

"It’s not that easy, Julian.” You knew that's not what he wanted to hear, but that was sadly the only thing you could come up with without completely breaking down.

“Do you even really want to be with me? Do you want to be with somebody else? Do you want to be with Rachel?” The comment instantly caused you to snap your head towards him.

“What are you talking about?” Out of everything he could have said this was the last thing you could've thought about.

“I just don’t understand what you want! We spend every second possible together. We talk about everything. And no matter how much closer I think I get to you, you always walk away. You walk back to her. And if that's what you want, then that's okay. Just tell me. Talk to me. Don't ignore whats going on.” You shook your head not knowing how to express every single thought that was currently running through your mind.

"Julian it is definitely not what you think. I don't want to be with Rachel. She's just my best friend and the only one I've been able to talk to about this whole mess. She's not part of it." You instantly shut down his suspicion moving on to the painful part. "And I don't blame you, okay? Not even I know what I want at this point." The tears unwillingly resurfaced. "I just want to be happy." You gave up all composure you had, immediately slumping forward dropping your face into your hands. Not two seconds passed before Julian was next to you holding you close to him.

"I'm sorry." You shook your head.

"No Julian. This isn't on you. It's on me. We're in this mess because I don't trust myself to be in a relationship again. Every time I try, everything goes wrong. I don't want that again." You finally looked up to see him. His eyes soft and empathetic. “You have no idea how many times I’ve been fucked over Julian. How many times I’ve been lied to.”

“I would never lie to you.” You smiled reaching for his hand, squeezing it softly.

"I know. And that's why I don't want to fuck this up for us." Julian pulled his hand back placing both of them on your shoulders now.

"Listen. I know people have treated you wrong, okay? I can see it. You’re hurt. You don’t trust that we'll work out. You don't believe I can love you. But you’re wrong this time, baby.” He smiled looking at you wishfully. "You're completely wrong."

“I’m being cautious Julian.” The more he spoke the less your argument seemed valid.

“You’re being cautious with the wrong person. I just want to love you." You sat up moving towards him now, his arms instantly on your waist pulling you onto his lap. He pressed kisses against your face as he held you tightly. You held his cheek, your fingers ghosting over the light stubble, as Julian moved forward capturing your lips in a gentle kiss.

"Good thing I already love you, Julian." You felt his lips forming a smile as you mumbled the words into the kiss.

"I know you do." He pressed his lips against yours once more. "Because I do too."

[gold3nladybug]

Let's build a Legacy Deck

I do a lot of thinking about magic; you've possibly realised that, since I post long diatribes about what the game means to me on a somewhat regular basis. However, I'm not really very... let's say creative in how I approach the game. I'm not looking to explore new ground, I'm mostly trying to be as good at this game as I possibly can be. I'm pretty competitive, but my motivation isn't really winning - it's more about improving.

Legacy is a beautiful format. Not just the cards themselves, but the complexity, diversity and unbelievable skill ceilings that you can strive to attain playing these cards. I always feel like there is so much more I can learn, so many things I can improve. The level of mastery that could be achieved with these cards is seemingly endless.

So it is only fitting that we start here:

Mercadian Masques is the best Brainstorm. Don't @ me.

Now, beyond that, it's actually not that easy to branch out too far. There is a very real, very challenging financial barrier to playing this amazing format (and indeed all non-rotating formats share this problem to some degree). I own a handful of blue duals, and that unlocks a certain subset of the format for me. I bought them over the course of a year or so, and they were much, much cheaper than they are now. I doubt I'll ever be able to justify buying more, and since I don't have the quantity of duals necessary for some decks, and I own zero Tropical Islands, that subset actually isn't that large. I also don't really own any of the cards to play non-brainstorm decks - no Death & Taxes, no Eldrazipost, no Lands, no Quinn the Eskimo (yup, that's a real deck name. Give it a google, its delightful).

So, I own Tundras. That means that in Legacy, I'm pretty much always playing Miracles. My collection supports that. But that isn't really where I think I wanna be right now

Beautiful.

Stoneblade has had a bit of a renaissance recently, putting up good finishes at a high level because someone recently decided "I think I should play Death's Shadow in Legacy" and almost won the Pro Tour. Decks that play white mana have a pretty solid answer to that, and Stoneblade's ability to switch strategies between defender and aggressor is really valuable. I loved Miracles with Sensei's Divining Top, but the deck was a problem, and without that card it can't always claim inevitably. You need to win the game somehow, and Batterskull is a pretty solid somehow. But it can't do it alone.

Here's the rest of the team.

Snapcaster Mage is a ridiculous magic card. There are a lot of good instants and sorceries, y'all. In a format like legacy, though, playing the full four copies can sometimes be a liability, especially if you don't have cards like Lightning Bolt that can let you convert excess mages into a noncommittal, one size fits all kinda spell. All the cards I have are pretty specialized, and Snapcaster Mage can be all of them. Absolutely wild. I hear Tiago Chan, the winner of the invitational that led to this card, became a professional wrestler.

Wild.

Jace, the Mind Sculptor set the gold standard for what a Planeswalker could be. It feels like a privilege to be able to play with this card sometimes. One thing that I find interesting, is that in my experience I am vastly more willing to +2 Jace as my main plan than others. I get that Brainstorming is awesome and all, but the elevator going up is pretty cool too. It doesn't create numerical advantage, but using Jace's fate seal can create a lot of qualitive advantage and also let's you use an ability that wins the game. I'm a fan.

Vendilion Clique, though, might just be one of my favourite magic cards. It does a whole lot of very cool things, the most important of which to me is create informational asymmetry. This game would be a lot easier if you knew all the cards your opponent had, and usually that means you have to play cards like Thoughtseize. But that card is gross. Also, don't sleep on using Clique to send one of your own cards away, especially if that card is an equipment that you can find with your stoneforge mystic.

Lastly, we have True-Name Nemesis. This card isn't always good, but when it is it's the best card in your deck. If creatures attacking or blocking matters in a game, there is no card that does either that is better for its cost than TNN. My copies are the only cards in my deck that are altered or signed, and I normally like having things be really consistent in my constructed decks, but you can see Zack Stella's beautiful signature. Can you blame me?

So that is how I'm going to win. How am I going to not lose?

Death's Shadow matches up so poorly against Swords to Plowshares, like damn. My pick for the most outrageous removal spell of all time, even with Assassin's Trophy coming down the pipeline, Swords to Plowshares solves so many problems. A lot of this post is just me gushing about these cards, and I understand that might not be the most engaging thing to read, but I really do just love so many of them.

The rest of these spells are broadly about patching holes up. One of the amazing things about Brainstorm is that you get to see a lot of cards each game, so having a few discrete answers to unusual problems can pay a lot of dividends. Council's Judgment and Enginnered Explosives can answer weird permanents that might otherwise beat me, and Supreme Verdict (though sometimes weird in a deck that wants to put creatures on the battlefield) will occasionally just bail you out. And while it might sound funny, it really is relevant that it is blue sometimes.

This is also the best counterspell art. Still don't @ me.

Force of Will is a bit of a weird card, because in a perfect world I wouldn't even want to play it. It is clunky, puts you down cards a lot of the time and is a massive hassle to play for retail. But also, sometimes Force is the only thing standing between you and rampant degeneracy. People play Belcher in this format! It is the glue that holds the format together.

And then we get to this, and I start to question if I actually know what I'm doing. Sometimes I make these really calculated choices, trying to eke out the smallest possible advantage. Other times I think to myself "yeah, that seems right" and this is one of those times. Flusterstorm is a really powerful, versatile piece of interaction that comes with inbuilt protection and scales throughout the turn. Great with Snapcaster Mage, but absolutely worthless some of the time. People play Chalice of the Void in this format!

Spell Snare is hyper specialized, but it does a lot of things that Flusterstorm can't. There are a legion of incredibly powerful, diverse threats that exist at 2cmc in this format; Baleful Strix, Hymn to Tourach, Tarmogoyf, Sylvan Library, enemy Snapcaster Mage, Counterbalance, Exhume, Infernal Tutor, etc, etc. Snare stops them all cold, but only them.

Spell Pierce is the middle ground, the bridge between two entirely different points of view. It's kinda boring, but its pretty okay at standing in for both of the other's jobs. Spell Pierce never wins employee of the month, but I hope it knows I appreciate it.

One last spell in the main deck, and its Search for Azcanta.

X marks the Spot! I play with checklist cards almost exclusively for any DFC cards that I use, even if I'm 100% sure the sleeves I'm using are completely opaque. It is way better to be safe than sorry, and I also like not needing to actually take my card out of the sleeve to flip it when I can have the real card off to the side in an inner to place on the board when I need it.

Once, when I was playing two Azcanta in a standard deck, I asked my teammate if I should have two Azcanta sleeved, one flipped and one not, because I couldn't actually have two in the same state on the battlefield. They looked like they wanted to slap me.

After that is just lands, and you probably don't want to see that...

Who are we kidding, the lands in a legacy deck are beautiful

I'm really proud of my legacy manabase.

This is also one of those examples of those really calculated choices, optimising for the smallest possible advantages. It turns out that you're only allowed to play four Flooded Strand, and after that NONE of the fetches get both basic Island and basic Plains. Normally this means a couple of Scalding Tarns, or whatever other blue fetch you have a few copies of, but why not extract the tiniest, most infinitesimal fraction of an advantage. What if they Pithing Needle Scalding Tarn? What if they're monsters who cast Surgical Extractions on random targets to see if they getcha? Well you're not going to get me, because I have insulated myself by playing three different blue fetches and an Arid Mesa.

Otherwise, Karakas is a lovely tech land against any sort of reanimator strategy, while also unlocking all sorts of fun play patterns with Vendilion Clique. Wasteland is playing in a similar space, being a low investment singleton that can be really good in some matchups, but I don't know if I like it. I might play an extra basic over it, we'll see.

But wait, I hear you asking, why are you playing Volcanic Island. You don't have any red cards!

Entirely fair question.

All the way from the sideboard, red cards.

As you might have gathered, there are some pretty amazing blue cards in legacy. I'm not one to let people just get away with playing blue cards. It's a little weird to have a 2/1 split of red blast effects, but it's just one of those micro optimizations. Sometimes they'll have a meddling mage naming Pyroblast, you know? Also, on my wishlist is a black border red elemental blast of some description. My pyroblasts just look so much prettier.

Also I guess I lied about TNN being the only signed card I play. But again, just look at Franz Vohwinkel's signature. Impossible to turn it down.

The rest of the sideboard is pretty easy to break down. A Hydroblast, because we can't let people get away with playing red cards either. An extra Flusterstorm, because it's just a fantastic card that usually gets better after sideboard. People usually have pretty good spells in their decks, and stopping Flusterstorm from countering those spells can be pretty challenging. Disenchant is a pretty good hedge a lot of the time, for a similar reason. People tend to have some high impact enchantments or artifacts kicking around, so I usually want a cheap way to fight that available to me. Containment Priest and the two Surgical Extractions are a concession to the speed and power of reanimation strategies, that also happen to have some really good splash damage against other really powerful strategies. I kind of want to make room for a Rest in Peace, but for now these will serve. Monastery Mentor is just one of those cards that, in a post sideboard game where a lot of the removal is gone and Pyroblasts imperil the battlefield and stack, can take over a game with extreme speed and quickly end it. It could also be something like a Gideon, Ally of Zendikar, but there's value in dodging Spell Pierce.

So the only part of this that might be a bit weird is the Spell Queller, Counterbalance package. My thinking is, coming from Miracles, that Counterbalance is sometimes an exceedingly powerful card. And sometimes it's pretty janky. It's hard to truly cut it from the main deck there, because it helps enable so many of the soft synergies in the deck (revealing for Predict, making all the cantrips that much better, finding spots to crack fetch lands for extra value), even though the times that it's bad it is so bad. But here, I've almost got the same amount of cantripping and deck manipulation as I would in Miracles, but my main proactive gameplan is strong enough that I don't need them in my main deck. It's a perfect card to slide into the sideboard, where I can access it both as a value engine for blue pseudo-mirrors and a desperate tool to fight combo as well.

Spell Queller was a card I considered for Vendilion Clique's spot for a long time. They are approximately as vulnerable as each other in the context of the format, but eventually the inability to profitably play it for value proactively gave Clique the nod. But the other main three drop I play kept me thinking about it. When it matters, TNN is exceptional. But when it's bad, there's nothing you want less; True Name feels like such a brick if your opponent is doing something degenerate. It's an easy swap in those situations for this powerful reactive spirit. Like Mentor, dodging Flusterstorm and Spell Pierce is a huge deal in winning counter wars while also transitioning into an aggressive stance. So many important cards are vulnerable to being quelled, and I'm honestly quite excited to play with it.

So... there you have it. That's my legacy deck. It's not perfect, and I'm sure before too long I'll end up putting Terminus back in here and going back to Miracles. It's hard to change decks in Legacy, and not just because of the price. These cards really do feel special, like you're playing with important pieces in the history of a really great, really important game. I hope I get to keep playing Legacy for a long, long time.