#at some point Harley Quinn made an appearance but that was even shorter

[a-god-in-crime-alley]

Had a dream last night I was married to Jason Todd and we were in this huge building on a mission outside of Gotham. It was a combination of high rise condos and a Mega Corporation business with offices. We were renting one of the condos for the mission. At one point in the middle of the mission, he was panicking in the bathroom before getting in the shower because something happened.

He couldn’t stand look at himself or touch his own body to wash the blood off. So I went in, talked him down and stripped so he had something distracting to look at. I got him into the shower and helped him wash up. After assuring him there was nothing about it that would be sexual so he could just relax while I took care of him.

It was strangely peaceful. I knew it had to be a dream though because I was taller than him and I’m only 5’6”. But in the dream I viewed the world as if I was 7’ tall. Ducking doorways and just in general being too tall for things.

Maybe I just want to read some Jason’s Todd x Reader when Jason gets taken care of. That would be nice.

Who knows, maybe I’ll write a ficlette about this?

[darkestshadeofgrey]

1-15 😘

1. how many muses, do you think, have you had in total while on tumblr?

Easily over 30. Most of them I have as unused sideblogs still, but I know there are a few shorter lived ones that are no longer with us. 

2. are there any tropes that pull you in or that you realise are reoccuring in your muses?

I tend to write a lot of mentor type muses. I also have a thing for writing mercenaries and Russians that I didn’t realize until I’d had a whole bunch and a friend pointed it out to me.

3. do you often get ideas when watching new media? do you end up wanting a canon character, an oc in that world, or just things involving current muses in the world / with those characters?

Oh all the fucking time. Pretty much any media I consume at least gives me new concepts if not a whole ass muse. Plenty of them honestly end up just living in the discord dms of whoever I chose to scream at about them, but sometimes they actually make it on site. I rarely, and I mean rarely, get the urge to write canons in anything. It’s typically OCs, either wholly separate ones or ideas I can apply to some existing one.

4. what’s the weirdest muse you’ve ever had?

One that’s never made it to tumblr, for sure. Weirdest one that has? Probably my Fae OC, Rosson. He’s...off, let’s say, even among other Fae. 

5. who is / was your favourite muse of all time to play?

That is tough. Purely from a how fun they’ve been to write and not so much about the events I’ve written/who I’ve written them with: probably Gideon. Sparknotes- He’s a relatively young but immortal mage who just has like no freaking filter. He’s a wise-cracking, pop culture spitting, always says what he means and has no shame ball of fun. 

6. is there a muse you’d add or bring back if you didn’t have to worry about whether others are interested in them or not?

If I wasn’t so worried about them coming under scrutiny I would bring over several of my muses that are part of a world I came up with years ago. So any of one of them, really.

7. what age group, gender and ethnicity do you most often end up playing?

Often 30 years old or older cis white men. That’s not the goal, but a quick onceover of my multi (the highest concentration of muses I have on site) shows that as the consensus. I don’t so much set out to have it that way, but it’s how things have shaken out so far.

8. who is your latest muse? can be someone you’re only considering / not planning to play at all, but is tempting you.

Working on bringing one of my Dragon Age: Inquisition Inquisitors to tumblr. Just gonna replay the game first to refresh myself on the story and such.

9. have the types of characters you play changed over the years?

Oh yea. Since joining tumblr I tend to be marginally more grounded with characters. I used to deal pretty much exclusively with fantastical powers and such-and I certainly don’t shy away from them now-but I’m far more willing to write muses with more toned down abilities, or no powers at all even. 

10. if you play original muses with canon roots  ( like oc siblings, coworkers, etc. )  or someone who’s been either just a name or a few lines of dialogue in canon, how do you build that character? do you pick the muse first and build from there, or do you need have the muse ready in your head and only then pick the connection, or a combination of the two?

So it’s rare that I make OCs that are like super directly related to/are underutilized canons. I might have them tangentially related, but typically in a way that if you pluck that canon out, the story/muse still works so I’m not reliant on it by any stretch. There have been a few occasions where I did do something to this affect, but they’re typically special cases. The 3 that come to mind are Dmitri- My OC Harley Quinn child that was the product of a magic anon years ago, Sully- A Gotham City Rogue that I built up to be very much woven into the fabric of Gotham and familiar with/to its various players, and Boris Turgenov- the very first Crimson Dynamo from Marvel comics who died in the same issue he appeared in. I got the idea on a while to flesh him out because I was like ‘they bring back like every bit character at some point why not him’ because as I researched, he’s hardly even been brought up and never revived since that initial appearance/death. I pretty much just made up what I thought ‘made sense’ at the time to explain his survival/continued existence.

11. have you ever built or picked up a muse because you wanted to use a certain faceclaim? how did it go?

I rarely make a muse solely for the sake of an FC. Typically, in OC creation in general these days, I’ll have an idea sorta just floating around unattached and then I’ll see a face and go ‘that’s a good face’ and keep it in mind, then at some point the idea and the face will link up in my mind (maybe I’ll see something the FC is in and it exhibits characteristics and mannerisms that line up with the idea) and go from there. It’s going pretty well so far.

12. what’s the weirdest thing that has ever inspired you to make or pick up a muse?

The song Between The Bars by Elliot Smith. The muse has never been finished, but it did spark an idea.

13. have you ever not gone through with playing / adding / making a blog for a muse because you’ve feared no one would care about that specific muse?

I’ve never held off on it because I thought nobody would care, but there are a few I’ve held off on because I thought people wouldn’t like them.

14. if you see that a friend of yours has just made a blog for a muse you were planning to play, will you still make the blog?

Yea, probably. One person’s portrayal of a character doesn’t take away from another’s. Hell, depending on the muse/friend, I might even suggest we figure out a way to make our versions of the character interact and see what hilarity ensues.

15. which muses of yours have currently very dead fandoms?

None right now. As it stands, all my muses are either OCs in fandoms that are still thriving or unaffiliated with any fandom at all.

[robinrunsfiction]

Late Dawns and Early Sunsets Part 1

Pairing: Frank Iero x Female Reader Rating: Teen (due to violence) Requested By: @pest-ill-ence Author’s Note: First, I really really want to thank @pest-ill-ence who sent me a really great and detailed request for a zombie apocalypse bandom au with a punk reader, inspired by the song Apologize by grandson, as well as a request before that from a prompt list I had posted. I was stuck as hell on that prompt, and they were cool with me using it as part of this story (it will appear in a later section, fyi) which I appreciate. I also appreciate everyone who has sent me a request that I haven’t gotten to yet! I try not to force anything with my writing and so sometimes it takes a while to get inspired and hit my stride.

Also, as per usual, I made a playlist! 

You looked wearily to the sky, the sun was starting to sink lower and you knew you had to move faster. You glanced around and broke into a jog. You normally didn’t get this close to towns and you weren’t familiar with where you were. Then down the road you spotted something that made you think you might not be completely fucked after all.

You hurried toward the familiar chain grocery store, hoping to find something leftover to get you through the night, and maybe someplace to hide out for the night. You were desperate for rest. You glanced around before you slipped through the glass of the smashed outer door and found the inner doors ajar. Once you got past the row of cash registers, couldn’t believe your eyes. The store looked almost untouched.

‘This is too good to be true,’ you thought as you started down the aisles. There was no fresh produce, meat or dairy, but almost everything on the shelves was there.

As you moved through the store, you felt like someone was watching you. You gripped your bat a little tighter as you walked along. When you got to the end of the aisle something moved out of the corner of your eye to the left and you pulled your arm back, ready to swing, when someone behind you grabbed your bat.

“Hold up there Harley Quinn, you're on our territory.”

You spun around at the sound of the voice to find yourself face to face with a hazel-eyed man who was just barely taller than you.

“The bat is more like Negan's bat from The Walking Dead than Harley’s, but he had chains instead of nails in the end of it,” you heard a second voice say. The movement from the left turned out to be another taller man.

“Gee, not now,” the first man said to his associate before turning his attention back to you. “Why are you in our storehouse?”

You raised your eyebrows in surprise. “You keep a full storehouse with the doors open, why? To lure people in and what, leave em for walker bait or something? Hope a pretty young thing will come in and get on her knees to thank you for the possibility of some food?” You sneered.

“If you're offering,” he replied with a smirk, running his tongue over his lip ring. You squared up to him with a glare, yanking your bat out of his grasp.  

“No, we take shifts guarding it in case someone stumbles in. You aren't from around here, are you?” Gee asked, attempting to diffuse the situation brewing between you and his friend.

“It doesn't matter. Listen, I have some bullets to trade for food, but know that I’m not desperate, so I’m not willing to get screwed, in any sense.”

Gee looked you up and down. “No, come back with us, we got more food at home, we'll make something for you and let you get some rest.”

“Why?” You asked suspiciously.

“Aren’t you alone?”

“I got my friend Louie here,” you replied gesturing to your bloody bat. “I travel light so I don't have anything or anyone slowing me down.”

“We'll watch your back and you can rest, you look like you need it.”

You glared at both of them. They seemed harmless, even if they had got the drop on you. But Gee was right, you were tired and hungry and that’s probably how they did it in the first place. “Fine,” you replied begrudgingly.

You followed them out of the grocery store, waiting for Gee to lock the inner door to the store.

“My name is Gerard by the way, but you can call me Gee, this is Frank,” he said gesturing to the other man.

You nodded. “I’m (YN).”

You walked silently with them a short distance to a neighborhood with fairly large homes on large lots. The street seemed deserted, but being unfamiliar with the area, you couldn’t be sure who was hiding out or where. They then turned up the driveway of a house set back on a hill after passing through the large gate surrounding it.

“Here's the fort, home sweet home” Gerard announced.

“Fucking hell,” you muttered under your breath as you took it in. Once inside you were surprised by the level of noise. You glanced around and saw all the outside walls were soundproofed like a recording studio.

You followed them back to the large kitchen where there was a group of men were playing cards at the kitchen table.

“All you dudes live in this one house?” You asked skeptically. Staying here was starting to feel even less appealing, if that was somehow possible.

“Oh no, here, let me introduce you,” Gerard said, taking the lead. “Hey guys, this is (YN). She’s gonna be here for a little bit to rest. She gets to eat whatever she wants too."

They all said greetings at the same time.

“This is my brother Mikey, and that’s Ray, they live here with me and Frank,” they both waved, and you nodded. Gerard then pointed to a shorter guy in a hat, “That’s Patrick, he lives with Pete, Joe and Andy across the street.”

Patrick said hi quietly and you gave him a tight-lipped smile.

“And next door to them is Bren-" Gerard started as the door busted open. You whipped around gripping your bat tight as a tall, thin brunette man strutted in. “Speak of the devil.”

“Sup?” he said when he saw you standing there.

You didn’t respond other than to glare at him, irritation creeping in by his bravado. That’s how people got killed.

The loud talking continued to escalate as more people poured in. You were glad to see another woman when Nicole showed up, but you had no idea the last time you were around so many people. It quickly became too much.

When you noticed no attention was on you, you slipped up the stairs and into the first open door you saw. There was an open window, which you promptly crawled through and you breathed in the cool night air, finally enjoying some peace.

“Hey,” you heard someone say from inside the window. It was Frank.

“Hi,” you replied brusquely.

“Can I join you?”

“Its your house.”

Frank climbed through the window and sat next to you on the sloped roof. “What are you doing out here?”

“Its too loud in there, I’m not used to it.”

Frank nodded in understanding. “So, I don’t think I made a great first impression.”

“Ya think?” you replied, rolling your eyes.

“Sorry,” he muttered as he ran his hand through his hair, looking at his shoes.

“Whatever.”

“You’ve really been on your own this whole time?”

“Yep. I was before it all went to shit, I am now, I’ll probably die alone as well.”

“You can stay here.”

You looked over at him like he was nuts. “You gotta be fucking kidding me.”

“What? Are we really that bad?”

You paused. “Not really,” you muttered under your breath.

“What was that?” he asked with a smirk.

“Shut up, dick,” you replied, shoving him a little with a laugh.

“I like that,” he said.

“What? Being pushed around?”

“No, your laugh.”

You rolled your eyes. “What’s it like out here? Anything besides the walkers and all your loud asses I gotta watch for?”

“We aren’t that bad,” he insisted. “We know what we're doing, and we haven’t lost anyone yet. But there’s a gang across town that we have to watch out for which is why we have someone posted up at the storehouse at all times. I’ll let you be on my watch shift.”

“Or I can go alone when no one else wants to go. I’m not going to be an asshole who rolls in and fuck with everyone’s lives.”

Frank rolled his eyes. “No one will care.”

“Hey,” you heard someone call from the ground below. You both slid closer to the edge to see Ray. “Get down here, food’s ready.”

You slid down to the edge of the roof and looked over, just one story up. You glanced back at Frank and pushed yourself off the edge. Not to be outdone, he followed right after.

“Great, now there’s two of them,” Ray muttered.

Part Two

[drosophilase]

fic: Yoda, Yuletide, and You

Title: Yoda, Yuletide, and You

Author: @drosophilase

Gifted to: @djchika as part of the @crisscolfergiftexchange 2017

Original prompt: “We made the mutual decision to go to this party separately and when I arrived there was this asshole flirting with you and I’m trying not to make it obvious that I’m seething with jealousy but it’s really difficult”

Ratings/Warning: Teen; allusions to sex (non-explicit), boss/employee relationship

Read on AO3!

Sorry this is two days late, thank you for the gracious extension and Merry Christmas Deej!  Thank you so much for all you did to arrange this exchange <3

--

It had started, as most great love stories do, with a Yoda figurine on the corner of Chris's desk. "That green figurine, I like," croaked a terrible Yoda impersonation from the twenty-fifth (ok, just fifth) person Chris had interviewed that day. Darren Criss, his application said.

Chris raised an eyebrow. Giving interviews for a job at a nerd pop culture online news source, Chris thought he had heard it all. This guy is the first to be bold enough to do such a confident and terrible impersonation. Chris touches Yoda's pointy ear. "From my sister. She's determined to get me the entire Star Wars Funko Pop set over the next 20 Christmases and birthdays." He doesn't comment aloud on the terrible Yoda voice, but he does write a little Y in the corner of Darren's resume.

"That's so cool, man, it's awesome that your family knows what you love. I have a ton of Pops but I can't ever seem to finish a set. There's just too many other things I like. I just put my Chewie next to my Harley Quinn and go with it." There's a sort of sparkle in his eye, glowing gold in the sunlight filtering through Chris's office blinds.

Chris sets the resume aside (he'd already noted this one for the qualifications - degree in Theatre from Michigan University, four years on the Michigan Daily staff with one as senior editor. Proficiency in Final Cut and a few credits in web series and local theatre productions. Currently working in local news media and writing a blog on the Star Wars Extended Universe on the side. Even before he walked in looking like a dream, Chris was hooked). "Suicide Squad Harley or Batman: The Animated Series Harley?"

Darren scoffs, the black curls over his forehead bouncing. "Animated Series, dude. Hands fucking down. I try to forget that Suicide Squad ever existed. It's hard to be a DC boy these days."

Chris cracks a smile. "That's why the girls - well, Patty Jenkins, really - are going to save us all. Haven't you seen Wonder Woman?"

"If I've learned one thing in my time in this industry, no one ever listens to women when they should. You're right though, if they let Patty work she's going to do the whole damn thing."

"If only Ben Affleck could do his civic duty and disappear from the earth, I'd feel better about it."

Darren laughs with his whole body, his eyes crinkling in the corners. "Dude, yes. Just go softly into that dark night."

Chris cocks his head. "You didn't just make that pun, oh my god."

Darren smiles. "You didn't notice 'witty wordplay' under my skills? It's like in my top 3 best attributes."

Chris wishes he had the power to cancel the rest of his day's appointments and just end the day with Darren's interview. Instead, he takes the scant three minutes he has until the next interview to smile absently back at Yoda and make another note on the resume.

1. Wordplay

2. Smile

3. -Ass- Experience

The great thing about PopNow's building is the super cool collaborative open floor plan with lots of coworking tables, glass doors, and zero fucking privacy. Chris had always cringed sitting at the long tables, having to work face-to-face with someone else's computers and get distracted every time they got up to go to the bathroom. Honestly, half his drive to move up to staff editor was to get one of the more private (loosely) offices around the edges of the room with a single desk and a wall to stare at instead of a strange coworker.

Being promoted to division head of PopNow Nerd was Chris's ultimate dream (private office, final say on all published material, sitting in on meetings with creative directors and sometimes, investors. The control freak inside of Chris was fucking delighted). That is, until 3 months later when PopNow shifted their entire focus and all their resources to video reporting. Luckily, they weren't completely cutting out the website or articles that Chris joined the company to write. And, Chris was getting a lot more flexibility to hire new talent and explore new realms of reporting. And thank fucking god, Chris never had to be in front of the camera.

He knew he had to change with the times quick, though. He had writers - he just needed producers. And, after a quick poll of the office didn't yield many nerds willing to get in front of a camera (who would’ve thought), some on-air personalities.

Enter: Darren Criss.

The first day Darren’s new hosted series “Heroes and Zeroes” went live with an episode rating Disney villains on some complicated ranking system based on hotness, degree of evil, and personal style, the PopNow Nerd Facebook page gained like 5,000 followers.  Darren’s video instantly became their most watched.

And the comments, well—Chris’s cheeks reddened just thinking about them. A bashful Darren appeared at Chris’s door two hours after the video went live, one hand buried in the shorter hair at the base of his neck. “So… I think people like it?”

Chris raised his eyebrows, looking over his glasses where he had the comments section open on his own computer. Girls and guys alike were tagging their friends just to point out how hot Darren is. With him there draped casually in his door frame, Chris would have to agree. “I would say yes, they do.”

Darren laughs an embarrassed sort of huff, looks down at his feet. Chris can tell that though he might be humbled by the success of the video, Darren is definitely feeling proud of himself.

“Actually,” Chris continued, “maybe you should reply to a few of them. Start building some rapport with the fans.  Couldn’t hurt, and the higher-ups really want to see viewer engagement.”

The next day the Facebook page following had grown again by the thousands.  Suspicious, Chris scrolled to Darren’s video again. The views just kept going up.  And Darren himself was in the comments section, cheekily replying to a few of them.

Brittany Smith Oh my god, @Ashley did you watch this? I don’t even know what he said, I just keep staring at his hands for some reason

Darren Criss Next time pay attention to my face, we pay the makeup department a lot to cover up my lizard skin! ;)

Chris had one hand over his mouth to keep from laughing out loud.  Darren was fucking funny. As if Chris didn’t have enough problems drooling over him already in production meetings, writing pitches, and the million times a day he stops by Chris’s office with just “one quick question.”

Chris glanced out his glass office doors to Darren’s desk (the one he has a perfect view of if he just pretends to work at his computer but instead looks right past his monitor out to the main office, no Chris didn’t put him there on purpose the desk was just open). And Darren’s comically large hot pink headphones, and Darren’s brow furrowed as he works hard at something on his computer, and Darren himself chewing on his lip and tugging on a curl and oh, god—

Chris has got it so bad.

“Fuck,” Chris says quietly, taking off his glasses to rub his tired eyes. He should have known better.

--

The crush stays mostly on lock down for almost two weeks.  Chris is like, acutely aware every time Darren walks near his office door (inconvenient, since he has to walk that way for the bathroom, the breakroom, and pretty much everything else) and he gets flustered during staff meetings when Darren starts smiling at him.

And then, of fucking course, there’s Lea.

“Who is this Darren again? You’ve said his name like ten times in the last five minutes.”

Chris swallows hard and tries to keep his tone casual. “Just one of the on-air personalities we hired.  He’s a good writer too, when we can keep him focused.  The best idea man we have, after me of course.  He’s been working here for like three months.  I swear I told you about him. Curly black hair, stupidly big brown eyes?”

Lea gasps. “Christopher Fucking Colfer. Do you have a crush?”

Chris instantly feels his face burning.  “You know Karyn Colfer would never give me such an unsightly middle name.  Jesus, Lea, I don’t know… He’s just a great guy. We get along well.  He’s my employee, for fuck’s sake.”

Lea scoffs. “That’s the highest praise I’ve heard you give another human in the entire time I’ve known you. You definitely like him.”

She’s always so infuriatingly good at pointing out the one thing Chris is trying to pretend doesn’t exist. “Yeah I… guess I do.”

She hums, sympathetic.  “It’s been a long time since you’ve embraced another human being, Christopher.  Maybe try leaning in this time instead of running away. It might do you some good.”

Eager to not hear yet another long-spun tail about her and her fiancé’s meet-cute, recent cohabitation, or extensive wedding planning, Chris says quickly, “Okay, yeah. Lean in. I’ll try that.”

“Just talk to him! You’re very charming, in your own way. He willingly works at PopNow Nerd, for Christ’s sake, just talk about your elaborate Halloween costume for next week, he’ll love that.”

Chris can’t argue with that.

--

“Lean in,” Chris murmurs to himself as he sees Darren get up for his second coffee and first trip to Chris’s desk right around the usual time, 9:20.

“Hey Chris,” Darren says, rapping on the open glass door twice.  Chris looks up from pretending he’s engrossed in end-of-year reports and not sweating into his hoodie.  “Quick question, to settle a debate: Richard Harris or Michael Gambon as Dumbledore? Must cite sources.”

Chris smiles. “Michael Gambon, without a doubt.  I loved the look of Richard Harris, don’t get me wrong, but Order of the Phoenix Dumbledore, tracking down horcruxes Dumbledore, was not frail. Richard Harris could have never pulled off standing up to the Ministry and escaping with Fawkes, no way.”

Darren cocked his head.  “So not what I would have thought you would say.  And honestly, you’ve almost sold me on Gambon.  I’m one of those who can’t overlook the didjupuyurnameinthegobletofire debacle but you have excellent points. Always surprising me, Chris.”

Was that… flirting? It was so hard to tell because Darren was so easily entrancing like this just all the time, but something about the way he said Chris’s name made him think it was different.

Darren had already half-turned to go but Chris calls him back, saying his name.  Darren turns around, eyebrows quirked.  This was deviating from their normal routine, Chris knew.  He tries to calm his pounding heart.  Lean in.

“You know, the real casting tragedy in the Potter series was how old James and Lilly were. Like, alright yes, the ‘mother’s eyes’ thing was absolutely shot to hell. But how are they going to tell us James and Lilly died at literally 21 years old and cast middle-aged actors?”

Darren smiles.  “Dude, yes. They fucked up the ages of everyone in the Order of the Phoenix except for like, Tonks. And maybe they got away with Lupin since he would be more weathered. But casting mid-50s actors for characters barely pushing 35? It totally takes away the resonance of these young people fighting for the future of the world.”

He sits in one of the chairs Chris has arranged along the side of the wall (PopNow has a thing about the formality of sitting with a desk between them) and Chris should move to go sit next to him but it feels like this new thing is a bubble that he might burst at any second if he moved the wrong way.

Darren leaves twenty minutes later to go back to his desk, his empty coffee-stained Vader mug forgotten on the floor.

Chris smiles as he catches Darren eye through the glass.  He’ll be back in an hour or two.

--

By the time mid-November rolls around, it seems that Chris and Darren’s quick coffee run questions have turned into thrice-daily chats have turned into… something.  It’s started to become a running joke at staff meetings, that Chris and Darren are usually more ChrisandDarren these days.  Chris ran into Darren once at his favorite lunch Chinese spot, and then he suggested another lunch spot for tacos and Darren suggested they go together, and now lunch is just always assumed to be theirs.  Even when Chris had to work three days straight through lunch to meet the deadline on proposals for the next quarter, Darren showed up every day with cashew chicken, disappearing when Chris was stressed or offering alien conspiracy theories when Chris needed a break.

That was the thing about Darren, he was always just there. As soon as Chris opened the figurative door by starting a conversation, Darren blew the whole fucking thing open and made himself at home.  It was hard to remember work before Darren.

It doesn’t dawn on Chris that they really haven’t seen each other outside of work until he overhears a few other producers and writers making plans to get drinks after work the Wednesday before Thanksgiving.  Chris doesn’t think anything of it—he never wanted to get drinks with anyone in the office before, and he figured no one wanted to drink with their boss anyway.

So he’s pretty floored when he clearly hears Darren (speaking in his still-loud “low voice”) ask Denise if Chris is invited.

Chris doesn’t even try to hear the answer (it’s no, Chris knows) as he reels.  He can see Darren outside of work.  Darren maybe wants to see Chris outside of work.  Chris would have a reason to go somewhere other than home to his cat.  He had never thought of it before but now Chris really, really wanted to be invited out to drinks. By Darren, that is.

Darren stops by his office (fifth time that day) with his coat over his arm and bag slung over his shoulder on his way out.  “Happy Thanksgiving, Chris.”

“Happy Thanksgiving, he automatically replies.  “Headed down to Republic with Denise and Lars and everyone?”  Chris says it just to see how Darren will react.

Darren winces and looks sheepish.  “You heard about that, huh? Yeah it seems like it’s just a writers’ thing, sorry about that, I didn’t decide that it would be exclusive.”

“No, yeah, it’s totally okay,” Chris says, waving his hand.  “I wouldn’t want to like, intrude on the group anyways.  Frankly, there’s few people in this office I’d want to see outside of these stupid glass walls.”

Darren pouts, put-upon. “I hope I made your short list.”

Chris knows his ears are red-tipped but he swallows and forces himself to say, “Duh. You’re like, the whole list.”

Something comes over Darren’s face.  He’s more beautiful than Chris has ever seen.  “Yeah? You’re at the top of mine. Maybe after the holiday we can compare lists.  Have a good Thanksgiving, Chris.”

“Y-yeah, you too,” Chris manages to say, half-strangled, awkwardly waving as Darren turns and leaves.

Holy shit, Darren may have just asked him on a date.

--

There are three things Chris learns on the Friday a week after Thanksgiving weekend.

It is most definitely a date, Darren’s preferred drink is a whiskey sour, and he is the best kisser Chris has ever known.

“I thought maybe you only wanted to hear more on my nuanced analysis of Star Trek captains,” Chris teases after they break apart just inside his front door.

“Oh don’t get me wrong, I love your analysis,” Darren says breathily from where he’s kissing Chris’s jaw.  “It’s just that I also love the way your arms look in your tee shirts and your butt looks in your jeans and that your lips are so damn kissable.”

Chris thrills as Darren stretches up to kiss him again, basically on his tiptoes.  How is someone who appreciates all those things even real?  Chris runs his hands along Darren’s shoulders, grips his elbows, squeezes his waist.  Darren slips his tongue into Chris’s mouth and Chris reflexively grabs Darren’s perfect ass.  Oh, he’s real all right.

“That’s awfully fresh, Mr. Colfer,” Darren says breathily even as he pulls Chris in, walking backwards.  “Don’t you think that’s better suited for the bedroom?”

Later, Chris’s best shirt is maybe ruined and Darren is sleepy and soft and come-dumb, draped across Chris’s chest (he’s a cuddler, as Chris should have guessed).

“Give me five minutes and I’ll get up I promise,” Darren mostly mumbles as he rubs his face into Chris’s belly.

“Mmhmm,” Chris replies skeptically, sinking a hand into Darren’s curls and tracing his thumb over the sweat gathered at his temples.  “I really don’t mind.”

Darren groans, low and long.  “I have like, a thing about my hair being played with, dude. Once you start I’m always going to beg you to keep going.”

Chris smiles wickedly, pulling his fingers slowly through the soft strands and listening to Darren’s responses.  “I could be okay with that.”

--

Chris thinks they’re totally rocking the first day back at work giving off very “we definitely didn’t have sex last night, no way, thanks for asking” vibes. Until a very concerned Eileen stops by his office after their afternoon meeting.

“This is definitely not my business Chris, but you know I care deeply about the balance of the workplace ecosystem, so I’m going to meddle just this once.  Are you and Darren—”

Chris immediately opens his mouth, panicked, “Oh uh, no, I—”

“—Mad at each other?”

Chris stops mid-sentence.  “Wait, what?”

Eileen is unfazed, as usual. “You definitely snubbed him during that planning meeting and he’s only stopped by your office once today instead of the usual six.  I count on you two to keep meetings fun and productive. He makes you less cranky. I don’t know what you did, but fix it.”

She leaves before Chris can put words together.  Well, that wasn’t what he expected.

Eileen apparently thinks we’re fighting.

Maybe we went too hard in the other direction.

O M G. She’s so nosy. Our coworkers are way too perceptive.

There’s only one way I want you hard. This ain’t it

Fuck. Why are my office walls made of glass?

That’s hot, Colfer. Feed your cat and come by my place tonight.

…Was that a euphemism?

--

Pre-Darren, holiday parties at the office were to be endured and survived.  Chris would show up for the shortest time he could, drink two vodka sodas, talk to ten people, and get the fuck out. Now in the Age of Darren, Chris is actually brushing his hair and putting thought into his outfit and humming Christmas carols on the train.

Almost one month into their relationship feels way too new to tell all of PopNow, let alone just their department. (Chris had gone to HR with the intent to file their relationship but his hypothetical questions were met with vehemence that superiors could not date subordinates. So Chris had slunk out of there and didn’t mention it to Darren in case ignoring it meant it wouldn’t exist.) They’re arriving to the company holiday party separately and meeting oh-so-casually by the Christmas tree, avoiding all mistletoe and any game that might lead to awkward kissing with anyone.  They are totally (almost) masters of acting totally normal at work, they can handle this.

What Chris can’t handle is the blonde with godawful dark roots and nose ring practically pushing her breasts into Darren’s face.  At 20 freaking degrees outside there’s no need to wear a sweater that low-cut.  Darren, Chris begrudgingly credits, is looking unwaveringly at her face.  But this girl is hardcore flirting, hip cocked and chewing on the stirrer in her pink drink.

Chris knows he’s being ridiculous but at the same time, he can’t stop. She touches his shoulder for a second and Chris downs a shot.  She laughs way too loudly and Chris crushes a cookie into crumbs.  He tunes out the droning anecdote from some guy in accounting and instead vividly daydreams, replaying in his mind the past weekend spending a full 48 hours locked in Chris’s apartment.

Chris was so wrong to think that he could keep it together for this entire party. Darren is just so damn charming and every single person who works at PopNow is gravitating towards him. Chris understands the feeling, but the possessive jealous lizard brain just wants to take.

He spots an opening as Darren is trying to physically move away from a man who is whispering in Darren’s ear every other sentence.  Hell no.

Chris steps between them deftly, delighting at the way Darren’s face absolutely lights up. “Chris, hi. Thank god.”

“So sorry to steal him away, but Darren there’s someone I want you to meet,” Chris apologizes to the guy in a rush, grabbing Darren by the elbow and leading him away.

“Thank god,” Darren says again from behind him as Chris weaves through the crowds. “That guy was like a level 5 creeper. I’ve been looking for you for half an hour and just couldn’t disentangle myself from these people who all want to talk about my videos.  Which is flattering, I guess? But they’re like, strangers. I’m just trying to get buzzed and play that piano in the corner and start a Christmas carol sing-along.  Wait, this is the bathroom…”

“Yes, it is,” Chris says, leading Darren into the single room family bathroom and following quickly, locking the door.

He presses Darren against the door and kisses him hard, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt.  “That was torture,” Chris whispers, tugging on Darren’s earlobe with his teeth.

“Colfer, were you j-jealous?” Darren chokes out, head lolling back as Chris moves down to kiss his neck.  He wants to leave a visible mark. He settles for one right below Darren’s collar, right in the hollow of his shoulder. Darren moans, cradling Chris’s head. “Fuck.”

“Maybe I was,” Chris admits, pulling back and pushing stray hairs off his forehead.  “That one girl was just so blatant, it was awful. And I couldn’t do or say anything! Maybe I should ask for a department transfer. Or find another job, I…”

Darren is wide-eyed. “Are you trying to abandon me?”

Chris shakes his head. “God, no, it’s just some ban on superiors dating their employees, I didn’t want to tell you before….”

“What about superiors dating their equals?  Would that be okay?” Darren asks, a mischievous smile curling the corner of his mouth.

“Uh yeah, I think so,” Chris says, confused.  “I don’t see why not?”

“Good,” Darren says, full-out grinning now.  “Because Rebecca called me into her office today. Honestly I thought I had to be getting reprimanded or something, but she promoted me. Well it’s not totally official yet, but next week they’re creating new Video Editor-in-Chief positions in some departments. Equal with the department head. A new team-leading thing to further focus on video content.  And the job in Nerd is mine.  She said she heard I work great with my department head and I had to agree.”

Chris reels.  “Holy shit. I knew Rebecca had asked me about you, but I didn’t know why. Holy shit!  Darren, that is amazing.  You are amazing.  I am so proud of you.”

Darren’s eyes practically disappear, he’s smiling so hard.  “Thank you. I couldn’t have done it without you.  I guess we don’t have to hide in this bathroom anymore…?” Even as he says it, Darren rubs a hand right over Chris’s crotch. Chris sucks in a loud breath.

“We don’t have to, but maybe we should for this part.”

--

Three whiskey sours in and with no prodding, Darren hops behind the piano and leads a rousing chorus of the promised Christmas carols, Broadway songs, and Disney hits.  Four vodka sodas in and Chris is pulled into a clumsy duet of Baby It’s Cold Outside after he makes everyone in the area hold both hands up so he knows no one is recording.  There’s no way this won’t end up in the Monday morning email thread, but tipsy, warm and fuzzy Chris is okay with that.

It’s the best company holiday party he’s ever been to. Which on the surface makes no sense—it’s in the same venue, with the same cheesy decorations, the same too-strong drinks and the same terrible ornament exchange.  But this year, the Christmas tree seems taller and fuller and more beautiful than ever. And this year, the bartender is wearing a Santa hat and smiling and singing along.  And even though an ornament exchange game with no stealing or trading allowed is a totally lame game, Chris somehow gets a Yoda ornament. He gasps, looking up at Darren, who is just across from him.  Darren has that shit-eating grin, toasting his glass to Chris as he takes another sip. He remembered.

And then Chris realizes that it wasn’t the party that had changed, it was him. And it was Darren. Because of Darren.  Even the most dreaded event of the year has Chris laughing, smiling, relaxing, even feeling the joy of the Christmas spirit.

He blames Darren and his magic that when someone comes up to them shrieking mistletoe! and dangling a bunch over their heads, Chris doesn’t laugh it off.  He looks at Darren, closer than the careful distance they’ve been keeping all night, and is hit with the full force of his sparkling brown eyes. You’re beautiful, Chris thinks, and grabs Darren’s lapel before he can think too hard.

Darren is dazed when they pull apart, the mistletoe bearer long-gone.  “Merry Christmas,” Chris says so fondly, brushing his thumb over the spot hidden under Darren’s shirt.

“Merry Christmas,” Darren says, taking Chris’s hand and holding it tight, laced with his.

[vickyelizabethgalan]

Re-Viewing Suicide Squad: Still Just as bad as Before

Hey everyone!

If you read the title of this post, you probably clicked to question my sanity. I, like many, went to watch Suicide Squad when it first came out and I, like many, thought it was insanely terrible. HOWEVER, I also realized it was a fun movie with a great soundtrack and half-way decent acting. Recently, I re-watched the movie because I was running on the treadmill and, in my boredom, decided to watch it free on-demand. What followed was 2 hours and 17 minutes of Will Smith, Viola Davis and Cara Dela-whatever horror movie. I mean, B-movie horror (and that’s insulting movies like “Attack of the 50ft woman”). I’ve decided to write a mini-review about the movie, focusing mostly on the actors and their portrayal of the characters. In an attempt to keep the length of the post shorter, I’m just reviewing the top-billed actors and characters I felt were the most egregious. Without further ado…here’s Suicide Squad: 

Jared Leto: We begin with the Clown Prince and least needed character in the movie. The feelings I have for Jared Leto’s Joker can be summarized with: Does he even count as a joker? With alumni such as Jack Nicholson, Mark Hamill and even the late Heath Ledger, The Joker may be considered one of the most famous comic book villains of all time. However, something that has always been consistent is the Joker’s psychological, however humorous, HUMOR. The Joker is sick and sadistic but there is always, in his mind, a punchline. That is one of the reason’s Leto’s Joker fails. The marketing of the movie focused on how cute it was that he played weird pranks on his co-stars in an attempt to show the world he was “in character”. Sorry to break it to you, but even the Joker would never send Batman a rat or dead pig. He might, however, kidnap your loved one and turn him into a sadistic version of himself 

Ok, fine, this movie didn’t exactly focus on him or his relationship with the Bat, I agree. It did focus (and completely manipulate and romanticize) on his relationship with Quinn, and that might just be the most disturbing part of the film. I, personally, love Harley Quinn. Her craziness and mad love for the Joker is addicting to watch and as Harley’s comic book story-line progresses, it’s even nicer to watch her realize the wrong that is her “mad love” for the Clown Prince. It’s better to watch that Harley realizes how abused she is and attempt to leave (in her own Harley way). Finally, it’s better to watch Harley actually almost succeed in killing the Joker for everything he’s done to her. 

The movie forget something though. Throughout everything, Harley’s love is very rarely reciprocated by Joker and it’s even doubted that Joker could ever feel the same way for Harley. The movie distorts the relationship to make it look like the Joker is willing to “sacrifice” and “care” for Harley and that is seriously out of character for him. The movie is so desperate to re-brand the “mad love”, that there is even a line saying “She was his queen, and god help anyone who dared to disrespect his queen”. The movie greatly misunderstands and misrepresents what Harley is to Joker, a pawn. Don’t believe me? Hollywood Reporter seems to agree and voice my exact worries: 

If there was one constant in the portrayal of the relationship between the two characters in both comic books and animation, it was that Harley loved the Joker more than he did her. Actually, it could be argued that the Joker didn’t love Harley at all — that his occasional sweetness and attempts to woo her were merely manipulative attempts to keep her from being too much of a nuisance. Certainly, there would be countless appearances by the Joker without Harley in which she wouldn’t be mentioned at all, and when the two did share scenes, it was as common for him to be cruel as to be affectionate.

In recent years, this has been addressed in the comics themselves. As Harley has slowly transitioned from supporting player to solo star — the Harley Quinn comic book being a surprise hit for DC Entertainment, leading to multiple spinoff titles in the last few years — her relationship with the Joker has gone from awkward, uncomfortable comic relief to a problem that needed to be solved.

-When Harley Met Joker: A History of the Twisted ‘Suicide Squad’ Love Story

So this is my biggest problem with the entire movie: The Joker is reduced to a Hot Topic shopping, emo tattooed boy who cares and waddles around in a circle of machine guns. The portrayal is a lack of respect to the character who has so much more sophistication than what was portrayed. I’d love to know what Leto was studying so hard while he was mailing condoms and rats, which is just gross, that made him think any of this was ok. Needless to say, I’m not looking forward to seeing him in future installations. 

Margot Robbie: I basically said everything i needed to say about Harley in the Joker section but in general, I’d just love to point out that Robbie is beautiful and does a great job as a beautifully insane diphead. She talks crap for most of the movie and my favorite moment would just be when she blurts out “What was that? I should kill everyone and escape? Sorry, it’s the voices. I’m kidding! That’s not what they really said.” That quote does a really good job of setting the scene for the kind of character Robbie’s Harley Quinn will be. She is fast talking, crazy and eye candy. This, however, is terrible considering in her history, Harley has been all of this and way more. Harley is smart, agile in combat and over-all powerful. So it makes me wonder why we need to pair her with the Joker so much, she really doesn’t need him. Joker was completely unnecessary in this movie but Harley is needed because, along with Deadshot, she basically IS the Suicide Squad. 

Cara Delavigne: Why does this woman think she can act? She really has little to no acting ability and this movie shows it. She is either the least enjoyable part of the movie from how bad her acting is or the opposite, because I was laughing every time she was on screen. I couldn’t help but compare her to Shakira and her “Hip’s Don’t Lie” music video. Enchantress is a character I was unfamiliar with before the movie but I felt like I knew her even less when I saw her character, an archeologist, break a rare artifact upon finding it. I never understood where she came from or what her motive really was. She felt a lot like Apocalypse from X-Men, just some all mighty mutant who wanted to rule the world, original. The part that bothers me the most about her character is that she is brought into the Squad to become the movie’s villain. If it wasn’t for Waller, Enchantress wouldn’t have been a threat. 

Viola Davis: We’re almost done, but no Suicide Squad review would be complete without talking about the Queen, Amanda Waller. This is a woman that is so strong-willed, even Batman follows her order. Viola does an amazing job, as she normally does, BUT, it’s not the best work we’ve seen her do. She seems very disinterested for most of the movie and the audience writes this off as a character trait when really, it’s just the actor who couldn’t care less about the role she’s portraying. Great job but it’s only great because everyone else is so bad.

Will Smith: Now I end this review with the character I consider the redeeming factor of the movie: Deadshot. Before this film, I knew very little about him and now all I know is that he never misses and his daughter is his greatest weakness. Will Smith is an amazing actor and, honestly, if I knew more about Deadshot, maybe I would be able to critique his performance more. For now, he basically gives the movie the motivation it needs to continue and he gives it the character emotion and humanity. He seems to be one of the more fleshed out characters of the film and one of the better characters. 

And this, ladies and gents, is my review of Suicide Squad based on the portrayal of the characters. This is also the first modern movie I have taken to review so please let me know any other movies I should be reviewing. Thanks for reading!