#at one point the DM said ''look - Jessie's into femdom; I make the patron femdom'' and. yeah

[secondbeatsongs]

so some things happened and this campaign went on hiatus, but now we've been back to playing it for a while, and it's still great!

Jessie and the gang are playing homicide detective in a forest city right now, and some Weird Shit is going down re: a god we fought once

and everything was all fun and games until Makerrcat's squirrel incident (don't worry about it), but then after some ominous vibes, everyone got to meet Jessie's patron in person for the first time!

and then the DM, at long last, came to a realization:

Makerr: you have to describe Jessie's girl!

DM: ...

DM: wait.

DM: ...is that the joke this character was based on?

me: :D :D :D

guys. friends. folks. it's been more than three years. that's how long I've been playing this guy. three years is how long it took for someone besides makerr to figure it out.

anyway. in the visible form she took, Jessie's girl was tall and scary with pitch black eyes and knife-sharp features, and Jessie loves her so, so much, but the other party members were understandably unsettled.

but it's okay! Jessie's girl basically showed up to call him out for being an idiot (affectionately) and having idiot friends (re: the squirrel incident mostly), and to give vague hints about some of the evil god shit going on.

and after their chat, Jessie was like, "cool. thank you! :3 is there anything you want to change about our arrangement, while I'm here?"

Jessie's girl thought for a bit, and then said, "...come here. this will hurt."

and Jessie, being who he is, immediately stepped forward (with me grinning like an idiot), at which point Jessie's girl reached out and ripped one of his eyes from his skull with her bare hand, so she could replace it with one of her own solid black ones.

and because of who Jessie is and what he's like, this was just the best. as far as he's concerned this is an act of love, and tbh? he's right.

honestly, when I first made this character I was leaving a lot up to the DM's interpretation - is Jessie's girl actually in love with him, or is he imagining this relationship that they have? is it just a one-sided thing on his part, where she's using him and doesn't actually care about him, or is this actual, mutual affection?

and I was kind of expecting the classic like..."oh no, the warlock made a deal with something Evil, so now he has to realize that it's Evil and get away from it, and find some other way to use magic!"...sort of deal

but my DM is great, and seems to really enjoy the nonsense that we all throw at her, and so she's decided...yeah. to a point, it's mutual - Jessie's girl does have some affection for him, and she cares about what he does.

when I first created Jessie, I put in his backstory that his goal is to show his girl the world in the way that he sees it - the beauty, the weird stuff, everything that he loves about it. he wants to give her these experiences, and maybe change her perspective a bit.

and considering that she now has one of his eyes in her skull, I'd say?? that that's going pretty well for him??

god, I love D&D.

so yeah! update: Jessie is genuinely having a great time right now! he's experiencing actual pure delight because not only did he get to see his girl, but he also has one spooky pure-black eye now that is essentially a symbol of their love, and also looks metal as fuck.

idk how the other characters feel about all of this rn, but Jessie is having a blast

Jessie is a warlock patron

FUNNY YOU SHOULD SAY THAT, because I’ve spent most of this evening creating a 5e character sheet for Jessie, who is indeed a warlock!

I’ve decided that Jessie’s Girl (his patron) is the archfey Queen of Air and Darkness, because:

has no name

chilling eldritch beauty

invisible, but if perceived with magic, has “blood-black eyes”

idk, she just seems cool

after I’m done with Jessie, I’m also going to roll a character sheet for his sad best friend: Rick Springfield. He’s just a simple bard who doesn’t understand how warlocks work, and who can’t figure out his own gay feelings. <3

(my DM is gonna kill me next campaign)