#at least that means cash for consolation tacos and mac and cheese. perhaps a scone.
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#tw tw tw tw animal death pls do not read if that bothers you this is dark.#just been having the shittiest day between emotional gut punches and almost entirely sleepless nights and mechanical failures everywhere#i. really did not need to see the smear on the pavement that might have been the dear precious cat my coworkers and i have been feeding.#all i can tell myself is that she likely didnt suffer at all.#but still even barely thinking about the vague concept of what must have happened makes me want to#well#lets just say#become bog body#also tw suicidality ig.#it was so hard not to have a screaming breakdown in public. i barely made it home#just can barely cope with the vast uncaring universe rn#what did she do to deserve it.#and the universe said fuck you actually lol#now i have a migraine from scream-sobbing into my pillow for the last hour plus#gotta get up and do it all again tomorrow including walking by the place.#interesting to actually FEEL my mind trying to craft false memories to shield from trauma.#fascinating in a detached way.#oh did i mention that my new med is kicking my FUCKING ass.#idk if we can live laugh love our way outta this one boyos#obligatory i am not a danger to myself or others at this time. i am in contact with a professional.#if caring so deeply for people and animals causes me so much pain i wosh i could stop. but i cant.#grief can you get off my ass for like one week goddamn#i have work#at least that means cash for consolation tacos and mac and cheese. perhaps a scone.
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