#at least now I already know what happens after that. it was soooo stressful the first time

[running-in-the-dark]

thinking about him again (Jenkins). sigh.

[atlabeth]

wake up, sunshine

knight!luke masterlist

based on this ask

pairing: knight!luke castellan x princess!reader

summary: you and luke repair some things at your kingdom's annual flower festival.

a/n: have some fluff after i destroyed their relationship in the last fic! also this is based off of the scene from rapunzel because how could it not be <3 title from the all time low song bc it is soooo them "somebody loves you for yourself" <3 they're everything

wc: 2.5k

warning(s): once again luke is kinda angsty but this is much fluffier than usual! princess is nice again, they have a couple sweet moments <3

we’ve been focusing on a lot of rough times between luke and the princess but things aren’t all bad for them!! even though she’s trying to ignore him and being forced to court a prince she isn’t interested in at all and war is imminent, war has not struck YET 

which means that things are still pretty great lol. and things are going to get a little better 

Aurelda’s flower festival always happens at the peak of spring, when all of the flowers (especially the ones only found in your kingdom) bloom, and it is full of revelry and merriment 

You’ve gone every year since you were old enough to walk, and though things have been a bit bleak for you, you’re actually excited about it! that boring prince has gone back home so you don’t have to spend the entire festival entertaining him. 

For the first time in a while, you actually get to focus on yourself and having fun. and you plan to do just that 

Of course, things are still weird between you and Luke — you know it’s your own fault, and you know that’s how it has to be, but you still hate it — but you can’t stop thinking about his words from that night as your lady’s maid helps you get ready for the festival. 

You may not care about what you want, but I do. And my loyalty is to you, princess. Not to your parents. And certainly no prince. 

Your heart twists painfully but you hide any emotion. The last thing you need is your maids spreading rumors. They already gossip about how close you and Luke are. You don’t need any star-crossed lovers narratives going on when your friendship is being put through the wringer of your own accord. 

You’re wearing a more casual outfit than usual—though your parents usually want you adorned in gowns and over the top dresses, you insisted on a simpler dress that cut off around your ankles for the ease of movement. It has plenty of embroidered flowers, of course. 

You planned to participate in every festival activity, no matter what your parents said. You deserved to have some fun after being so serious for the past month. 

You’re stuck in meetings the entire day before the festival, so you’re brimming with unspent energy the second you step out of the palace. Your leg bounces up and down the entire carriage ride, and you talk at (not to) your parents the whole time. 

You’re excited, okay? And you deserve to be. things have been rough lately, and with the prince’s presence, woefully boring. You can’t wait to get back in the middle of your kingdom and see your people. You love your subjects, and you always love when you get to meet and talk to them in person. 

Luke, on the other hand, is slightly stressed. 

As this is his inaugural year as your knight, it is a season of firsts for him, and every first comes with unhealthy amounts of stress. 

His first ball with you, his first time in another kingdom with you, his first festival with you, his first time being at odds with you. 

Luke honestly doesn’t know how you feel about him right now. You’ve put an impressive amount of distance between you and him, and you rarely talk to him outside of necessity, but he sees your lingering glances in his direction. He notices when you don’t rebuke his attempts at friendly conversation.

Luke meant every word that he said. He knows you, and he knows you don’t want this—you at least don’t want to leave him in the dark like this. So he isn’t going to let you go that easily. 

Your avoidance of him may be a good thing, though, because at least it means you don’t see his reaction when you leave your room wearing your festival dress. 

Luke has always thought of you as the most beautiful girl he knows, and that hasn’t changed with time. 

You always stun in your ballgowns and any Aureldan finery, but there’s just something about you wearing such a simplistic dress, heightened by embroidered flowers, that makes him weak in the knees. 

Maybe it’s because Luke has imagined a life away from all of this so many times. You’re not a princess, and he’s not a knight, but you’re devoted to each other the same—you just don’t have any royal strings attached. 

Apart from being a knight, Luke has never really cared where his future took him, as long as it was with you. He knows he would give up all of this and more if it meant he could share a simple life with you. 

Thankfully, he’s composed himself by the time you look at him, though he can’t push away all the lingering thoughts. 

“Are you attending the festival today, Sir Castellan?” you ask.

He hates it when you call him that, but he nods. “Of course. You’re going out into the kingdom—you need security.”

“It is a festival,” you drawl. “Nothing will happen.”

“It is still necessary,” he says. “You can think of me as your knightly escort.”

That actually gets a bit of a laugh out of you, and he suppresses a smile. “My escort. How improper of you.”

“Today is meant to be a day of festivities,” Luke says. “Impropriety may be allowed just this once.” 

Your smile remains as you start to walk together, and Luke knows he could live off of its warmth alone. 

And when you finally reach your destination, your smile gets even bigger.

It’s been far too long since you’ve gotten to be in the midst of your kingdom, surrounded by all your people. This is the part of your position that you love—you just wish your parents trusted you with it more. 

Your parents are busy with their image—they’re speaking later today, you’re sure, and right now they’re discussing things with some kind of village leader—which gives you the perfect opportunity to slip away. 

Luke is right behind you, of course, but it’s always been hard to keep up with you. You’ve grown very skilled at weaving your way through crowds, but thankfully Luke has grown very skilled at keeping an eye on you. 

By the time he catches up to you, though, it’s too late. 

“Princess—” Luke calls in protest, but you’re already off to greet a group of children calling your name. 

You know exactly how to stress him out, running off like that without him immediately behind you, but he can’t find any anger inside of him.

Luke hasn’t forgotten your words. He doesn’t know how he could. 

But in this moment, it’s so easy to see why he can’t just do his duty and let you go. 

The way you crouch down to be on their level, how you listen so intently to everything they say, your dazzling smile. 

Yes, one could say it’s your duty to be kind to your people, but for many royals, that’s not true. You’ve always cared about the people of Aurelda, ever since you were young—that may have been one of the few things that hasn’t changed as you’ve grown. Luke has always admired that about you. 

In this moment, you’re not the crown princess. You’re just you. And it’s hard for anyone not to love you. 

…It’s hard for him not to love you. 

yeah. 

this is the moment that luke realizes he loves you. like loves you loves you. 

And it doesn’t come as much of a shock to him. Luke has always loved you, one way or another. He’s just now understanding the kind of love he holds for you now. 

wants to spend the rest of his life with you, would throw himself onto a sword for you, would do absolutely anything for you type loves you. 

If anything, it brings some form of relief. 

He loves you. You don’t love him, and you’re going to marry a prince someday. Maybe within the year. 

It’s as simple as that. 

except it isn’t, obviously 

because you love him too!! you just don’t know it yet!! and you don’t really want to marry the prince your parents are pushing at you, you just don’t see any other way. 

But it’s not like Luke knows that. he may be the youngest person to ever become part of the kingsguard but he is ~ insecure ~ and he cannot imagine anyone liking him like that, especially you!!! 

Luke comes back into himself when you bound back over to him, and he notices the flower crown balancing precariously on your head. 

You have the biggest grin on your face, and though the gowns you wear at balls and fancier events are great, you’re nothing less than stunning in your simple dress. You’re slightly out of breath and your skin is luminescent with the glow of exertion. He can’t help but smile.  

Have you always been this beautiful? He’s pretty sure you have, but he doesn’t know how he didn’t realize it sooner. 

Luke has loved you for a while, he thinks. Maybe he always has—maybe that’s what the warm feeling he gets in his chest when he looks at you is. Maybe that’s what made his heart clench every time a prince danced with you at that ball. 

Maybe his love for you has always been what’s pushed him forward. 

“Luke,” you said, and once again, you snapped him out of his thoughts. You were absolutely beaming at him, and you wore a flower crown on your head. “Are you there?” 

Luke, he realized. Not Sir Castellan, for what felt like the first time in weeks. 

“I’m always here,” he said. “I’ve got superior training, princess.” 

“Of course,” you said with mock austerity, nodding sagely. “I could never forget.” 

You held up another flower crown, one similar to yours, and your smile grew. “The kids made another one, too. They said it was for my grumpy looking knight.” 

Luke scoffed, but there was no edge to it. “I’m not grumpy. Merely cautious.” 

“Oh, yes,” you said dryly. “I’m sure those kids had devious plans, Luke.” 

That got the slightest of smiles out of him, and it spurned warmth in your chest. “It’s my—” 

“It’s your job to watch me,” you finished. “I know. Just teasing you.” 

“And I welcome it,” he said. “It’s nice to see you like this, princess.” 

“Talking to my people and actually making a difference?” you guessed. 

“Happy,” he corrected. 

“Yes, well…” you trailed off, glancing away for a moment as you shrugged. “I’ve been busy.” 

“And for once, you don’t look like you have the weight of the world on your shoulders.” Luke’s eyes drifted to the flower crown sitting on your head, and his smile grew. “It suits you.” 

“Carelessness or flower crowns?” you asked wryly. 

“Flower crowns.” Luke crossed his arms. “You’re far from careless, princess.”

You rolled your eyes 

“You’ve got to stop talking down on yourself like that,” he said. “Like nothing you say or do matters. Because it does. It may not feel like it, but you’re doing valuable work.” 

“Oh, yes,” you said breezily. “I’m sure sitting in meetings that don’t matter and looking pretty as I stand in the background during my father’s speeches is valuable work.” 

“That’s not what I mean.” Luke gestured at the crowd of people around, specifically pointing at the group of kids that you’d entertained. “You fight for them every day, even if you don’t realize it. You care about these people, princess, which is already more than half of the people in that castle do for them. Why else would they adore you?” 

You bit your lip and glanced away. It was hard to take Luke’s words to heart when you truly felt like you were doing nothing—when it felt like the only thing you could possibly be good for was a marriage. 

But you did argue with your parents near every chance you got on matters of support and aid for your people. It was the least you could do, especially when you knew you would never really have to deal with consequences. 

(There was a reason most of your father’s advisors had to suppress groans every time you would sit in on a meeting. You took pride in your ability to annoy.) 

“Let’s call a truce, okay?”

You frowned. Now it was Luke bringing you out of your thoughts. “A truce?”

“I don’t want you to keep avoiding me, and I don’t think you’re really enjoying it either.” Luke met your gaze. “We’ve been friends for as long as I can remember, princess. Don’t let boring princes come between that.”

You glanced away. “Luke…” 

“I know,” he said with a sigh. “I know your duty, and I know mine. But seeing you today, so carefree and happy—it’s worth more than a million gold pieces to me.” 

You’d been dancing around this topic since the night you pushed him away. It just hurt too much to talk about, and you felt like you didn’t have a right to be hurt—not when you were the one that did it. 

You loved Luke—he’d been your best friend for as long as you could remember. But you would be lying if you said you didn’t hate the time you’ve been spending apart. 

“We’re both getting older, I know. And we both have responsibilities we’re going to take on. God, someday, you’re going to be queen.” Luke huffed a laugh, though his eyes never wavered from you. “But that doesn’t mean that we can’t get through it together. Just like we’ve gotten through everything else together.” 

Luke held out his hand. “So? Truce?” 

You stared at his hand for a moment, unable to meet his eyes. You knew exactly what you wanted to say but you felt like you couldn’t. 

Because dammit, your days felt so dull. You always wanted to talk about your day and how boring your lessons were or the bullshit your father’s advisors have been discussing in meetings, and Luke was always the person you wanted to talk to about it all. He always has been. 

And you pushed him away. 

Before you could doubt yourself, you ignored his hand entirely and pulled him into a tight hug. Luke wrapped his arms around you immediately, holding you close. 

“I’m sorry for avoiding you,” you whispered. God, how you’d missed his embrace—you never felt safer than when you were in his arms. “And I’m sorry for being so stupid.” 

“You have nothing to be sorry for, princess,” he murmured. “And you’re certainly not stupid. Don’t even think that way.” 

You let out a breathy laugh as you pulled away, smiling softly at Luke. “I’m stupid to ever think I could really stay away from you.” 

and for the rest of the festival, you and luke are practically inseparable<3 not just because he’s your guard but because you’re best friends. 

You’re not going to let anything change that going forward. any prince that wants to marry you is just going to have to deal with that. 

(you even get him to wear that flower crown.)

(and though he tries to hide it, he kind of loves it.) 

(mostly because he loves you<3) 

[a-dam-leo-valdez-lover]

Anyone But You

Leo Valdez x Reader

6k words

TW: implied sexual content

When you’re trapped on a magical flying boat with 7 other people, there’s somethings that you definitely don’t want to happen, like getting caught after making out with your best friend who you may or may not be in love with, you also don’t want them to overhear you to say it meant nothing. AKA I watched Anyone but you this weekend because I’m in love with Sydney Sweeney and all I could think about is the amount of drama that would’ve happened if this was a teen flick. Like no adults (or Annabeth) to think things through, the drama would be unmatched. Soooo yeah and I know this doesn’t fully fit into the actual plot of the books and it doesn’t really follow the plot of the movie either but canon be damned. I’m gonna just make things up sorry.

Y/N’s POV:

They were friends, that was it. Sure Leo Valdez was cute, and yeah maybe he had this way of smiling at you that made it impossible not to blush, and of course his jokes were hilarious, despite you being the only one laughing most of the time, but it didn’t mean anything. At least not at first, but on a boat filled with couples, by default you spent most of your time with Leo, at first you were sort of forced into it, but eventually you sought him out when you were bored. His non stop talking was sure to fill the silence that you found suffocating. Eventually you two became joint at the hip, everyone could see it, but it's not like you two were ever truly alone with one another, especially after Percy and Annabeth’s little “falling asleep talking the the stables” incident when you first set sail. Coach Hedge spent more time patrolling for indecent activity between the crew than he did for monsters. Still, your moments with Leo managed to keep you up at night, you woke up with a smile on your face every time. That was of course until everything went wrong.

Percy and Annabeth were gone, lost in the depths of Tartarus and as you rushed to try and save them, there was a constant cloud of doubt and stress covering the ship. The only saving grace was the departure of Coach Hedge, Nico, and Reyna as the set off across the world to deliver the Athena Parthenos to Camp Half-Blood. Not that you disliked having the later two around, it just made it simpler to not have so many people on a small ship, and as for Coach Hedge, it didn’t take long for the couples to start spending a night together with no fear of an angry satyr with a baseball bat intruding. Slowly but surely everybody seemed to be bunking with someone else at night, not just the couples, you often found yourself sleeping over with Hazel and Piper or falling asleep on Frank or Leo’s floor while hanging out. The only persons room you didn’t find you self in was Jason’s and that’s because the boy was always up at 4 am no matter what time he went to sleep, and you weren’t crazy enough to be awake at such an ungodly hour.It was obvious though, that nobody wanted to be alone, especially now the the crew’s size had shrunk significantly. That’s how you found yourself in Leo’s room late one afternoon, nobody besides Jason could stand being on the ships deck for too long do to the storm brewing meaning you needed a way to occupy your time. Everyone seemed a bit on edge that day, but you figured Leo could make you laugh and probably would be alone working on some project anyways. You were right, slowly as the day moved on, talking turned into something more, at least that’s what the cluster of hickeys that painted your neck implied. You hadn’t thought too much about it when you were in the heat of the moment, but now, laying in Leo’s arms as the sun began to rise, you were panicking. Before you could even think about what you were doings, you had already gathered your belongings, doing your best to make yourself presentable before sneaking out and back to your own bunk.

You thought you had gotten away with it too, styling your hair in a braid an throwing on a oversize sweatshirt, you didn’t think anyone would notice, but over course Piper did. The very first thing she did when you emerged from your room was call you out.

“Looks like someone had a fun night”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about Pipes,” You tried your best to sound oblivious but it wasn’t working.

‘‘Right, so you didn’t spend the night in Leo’s room and come out covered in. Hi-“ She was cut off by you shoving your hand over her mouth just as Frank turned the corner to head into his room.

“Do I even want to know,” He laughed as he looked at you both.

“No, bye Frank” You said way too quickly to not be suspicious before dragging Piper into her room and closing the door behind you.

“Spill” She commanded.

It left you wondering for a moment if she had used her charmspeak on you because it was like you couldn’t get the words out fast enough, desperate to tell someone about how you felt. It was more than just something physical, Leo was your best friend, your confidant, last night almost seemed to be too good to be true, with you talking for hours about everything under the sun. You told Piper about how you felt after, about how you snuck out first thing in the morning, panicked about what to do and what to say, about how all you could think about the entire time the two of you had been in her room talking, is what you were going to say when you saw Leo on deck later.

“So what you’re telling me is that instead of telling Leo you’re in love with him you snuck out and didn’t say anything. You just left him alone in his bed.”

“I never said I was in love with Leo, I just-“

She cut you off, “No Y/N you didn’t say it, but it's pretty damn obvious. So?”

“So what?”

“Are you going to tell him?” She asked

“I can’t do that! What if he doesn’t feel the same, what if it-“

“Y/n I swear if you don’t get your ass over to his room right now and tell him I’m going to do it myself”

“Is that an option? Because I’m totally okay with that”

“Y/n GO”

So you went, and as you approached Leo’s door you saw it was cracked open and could hear 2 voices coming from inside, Hazel’s and Leo’s.

Leo’s POV

Last night changed everything, for the first time in his life, Leo wasn’t the odd man out. For the first time in his life, Leo felt like things were going right, the girl he’d been in love with for weeks was in his bed, in his arms, and yet the most exciting part by far was the way she smiled, the way she blushed whenever he made a joke, Y/N was perfect. Everything was perfect, until he woke up and she was gone. At first he sat there wondering what he did wrong, maybe he should go find her, or maybe give her space. It wasn’t like there was a manual out there for what to do after hooking up with your best friend who you’re secretly in love with and she snuck out on you. So instead he found the next best thing, after a quick iris message Hazel was in his room in no time at all. So Leo told her everything, well not everything, she was still pretty naive in a lot of ways, and he was pretty sure some of the 21st century occurrences would’ve given the girl an aneurysm. But Hazel listen to every word of the slightly abridged version of events and came to the simplest conclusion.

“So you’re in love with Y/n” She stated quite directly.

“In LOVE with Y/N? No not at all” He didn’t even know why he said it.

“Okay but you talked all night and kissed and said everything is different? How can you say you’re not in love” She asked, she seemed genuinely confused, but so did Leo to be fair.

“Look all of this is new to me, and I don’t really do the whole love and relationships thing” He tried to say it in a way that seemed cool like some sort of playboy, it wasn’t working.

“Okay but you like her right”

He thought about it for a minute before answering, the thought of being in love was enough to make his stomach churn with anxiety, romance was uncharted territory. There were too many feelings, too many moving peices that were out of his control. Sure Y/n was basically his entire world, some days he could’ve sworn he woke up just to see her, but at the same time she left so quickly without even saying goodbye, what if he was overthinking what happened last night. So he let his insecurities take over, and his hurt fueled the words the came out of his mouth.

“Honestly Hazel, I think I was just bored, I mean Y/N was there. Besides I don’t do love, Y/ns great and all but, its never going to happen between us”

“Are you sure about that” Hazel was shocked

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life” And for a brief moment Leo could’ve sworn he heard footsteps in the hall outside his room .

“I don’t know Leo, maybe she just left because she was nervous”

“Nervous? Nervous about what? I was nervous too, but I didn’t leave, I stayed.”

“Why did you stay though?”

“Because,” He hesitated, “ Because I thought maybe we could be together, that she loved me too”

“Then maybe you need to tell her that, she deserves to know”

Y/N’s POV

“Honestly Hazel, I think I was just bored, I mean Y/N was there. Besides I don’t do love, Y/ns great and all but, its never going to happen between us” Leo’s words hit Y/N like a punch to the gut. Maybe he didn’t mean it. Hazel seemed to be thinking the same thing.

“Are you sure about that” Hazel said almost too quietly to hear despite the open door.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my entire life”

That was all it took for y/n to run away, trying your best to be silent knowing you were probably failing. You did your best to hold it together, with each step closer to your room however the tears seemed to flow harder. How could you have been so stupid. Y/N thought that maybe Leo felt the same, even Piper had agreed, if they were both wrong, Y/N must be damn near delusional. It was moments like these where Y/N missed Annabeth more than ever, she would’ve been straight to the point doing some analysis of the situation and determining the best way for Y/N to move on. Hell it was moments like this where Y/N wished Coached Hedge was running around with a baseball bat and could’ve prevented this from ever happening in the first place.

You made it to your room slamming the door behind you, the impact shook the room, causing a picture frame that had been hung on the wall to fall the the ground shattering in a hundred tiny pieces. You couldn’t even be bothered to clean it up instead you sat down on the floor and cried. Y/n’s body shook with sobs and realized why they called it heartbreak. Just like the picture frame on the ground he heart felt like a piece of glass that had been broken beyond repair.

Y/n didn’t know how long she had been sitting there, maybe 10 minutes or ten hours but you did know you had no tears left to cry. Your lips were dry, your eyes were lined with red, and your head was aching. You had enough medical training from your time living in cabin 7 to know you should probably get some water and try to eat something, but you just didn’t have the energy so you kept sitting there. It felt like eternity later when there was a knock on the door. Y/N wasn’t sure if she said come in or if Frank out of worry took it upon himself to open the door unprompted, but there he was looking at the sniffling mess of a girl sitting on the floor surrounded by broken glass. He had a plate of food in his hand, vegetarian enchiladas, it was Leo’s night to make dinner. Without a word, Frank set down the plate and started cleaning up the glass. When he finished that he looked at Y/N who still hadn’t said a word to him, he wasn’t sure exactly what to do or why she was upset but he knew that this was going to be someone else’s problem so he got Piper.

When Piper got to Y/N’s room a few minutes later not much had changed. Y/N still sat on her floor but unlike Frank, Piper knew what the look on y/n’s face meant and what had caused her tears.

“Don’t tell me he turned you down” She said softly wrapping y/n in a hug as she sat on the ground next to you.

“I didn’t give him that chance to say it to my face not after what he told Hazel”

“What do you mean? What did he say to Hazel?” She questioned

“He said it was never going to happen between us, he said he was sure about it.”

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry. I shouldn't have told you to go over there. He’s such a jerk. You didn’t deserve that.”

“Just don’t tell anyone, please” You said softly. It was bad enough you looked like an idiot, it would be worse if everyone knew Leo Valdez had rejected you after everything that had happened. “Promise me.”

Maybe it was just the overwhelming emotions you were feeling, but you didn’t even notice that Piper never responded.

1 Week Later

Everyone was on edge, petty fights and disagreements became blowouts far too often, and more than ever it felt like the 6 of you left on the ship would rip each other's throats out if given the chance. Y/N and Leo weren’t immune, it was probably worse for you two since he couldn’t take the hint you wanted nothing to do with him. You’d been trying your best to avoid him whenever possible but he continued to seek your attention, as if he had any right to talk to you after everything. While Leo didn’t seem to take the hint, everybody else seemed to pick up on what was happening. Piper had talked to Jason about what happened, after all it only seemed fair he knew since the 4 of you had gone on your first quest together and he was the only one who didn’t know the story but she had sworn him to secrecy. What Y/N didn’t know however, was that everyone but her seemed to be talking about her relationship issues.

Frank thought he had put two and two together after seeing y/n crying and seeing Leo act like more of a love struck idiot than normal, but what he didn’t understand is why Y/N would be upset that Leo liked her. Sure Leo was basically the most annoying person to ever exist second only to Octavian, maybe, but Y/n very clearly liked him so it didn’t make sense. At least not until he talked to Hazel and Piper one afternoon as they made a pit stop in a small town to get some groceries.

“Maybe I’m just dumb, but why is Y/N avoiding Leo? I thought she liked him and he clearly likes her back” Frank asked.

“Look they’re both my friends and I’m not taking sides here, but just because he had a sudden change of heart doesn’t mean she automatically has to forgive him,” for someone who wasn’t picking sides, Piper was being pretty clear how she felt.

“Forgive him for what?” Hazel looked lost

“What do you mean change of heart?” Frank asked

“Look Y/N asked me not to talk about it she feels awful enough as is without everybody knowing what Leo said” Piper said looking slightly torn, she didn’t want to betray y/ns trust but its not like she promised her anything.

“Okay but it's not like I’m going to go to Y/n and ask her about it, I’m just trying to figure out what happened. One moment she’s laughing with you in the hallway Piper, and the next she’s crying and ignoring Leo whenever he tries to talk to her,” Frank explained, “from where im standing it makes no sense, she’s clearly liked him for weeks, but now that he is trying to get with her she just pretends he doesn’t exist.”

“No I’m sorry but that is so not what’s happening” Piper said all worries about betraying Y/N seemed to disappear pretty quick, “I don’t know why Leo all of a sudden is all over Y/n considering he told Hazel there was no way he’d every date Y/n”

“Wait, he told Y/N about our conversation?” Hazel looked more confused than ever, “because if they talked about it, then she knows he’s in love with her, he admitted it right after he said that , he was just scared she left without saying anything because she didn’t like him.”

“Wait so he does like her” Now Piper was confused.

“So they both like each other? I was right, but this still doesn’t explain why Y/n is all mad at him then.” Frank looked a little too pleased with himself for someone who still had no clue what was happening.

“Of course he likes her, I mean he’s totally in love with her,” Hazel acted like this was the ost obvious thing in the world, “but I’m with Frank here, if she likes him too I don’t get why she’s mad.”

“Because she went to go talk to him and heard him say it was never going to happen between them, and she just left” Piper stated

“Which means when I went to Y/N’s room and she was crying its because she didn’t hear the rest of the conversation” Frank said

“And Leo took my advice to tell her he loves her, but” Hazel continued

“She won't listen to him because she’s upset” Piper finished

“So, what do we do?” Frank was asking the important questions.

“I mean we should probably let them handle this on their own right?” Hazel, sweet innocent Hazel couldn’t be more wrong.

“No, we have to set them up,” Piper looked at hazel who clearly disagreed, “and before you say anything, think about it, we need the two of them on their best behavior if we are gonna save Percy and Annabeth and what better way to make them get along than if they’re getting it on”

“Getting it on?” Hazel asked

Frank looked panicked. “What Piper means is we need them to date, or at least be willing to be in the same room with one another.”

“And how are we going to do that,” Hazel asked.

“Easy, divide and conquer” Frank said

When Hazel, Frank, and Piper got back to the ship, things were worse than when they had left. It seems Leo had given up on trying to talk to Y/N, instead he had resorted to leaving when ever she walked in the room, and at one point at lease according to Jason, while fighting a monster who had gotten on board, the two were so busy arguing they almost killed each other instead. This could only mean one thing, they were going to need more help to set the two up so Jason was enlisted in the plan. It started simple at first, Seats were taken strategically at the table forcing Y/n and Leo to sit either directly next to each other or across from one another. It didn’t make for a pleasant dining experience to say the least. For the first few meals most of the dinner conversation went from bad to worse.

“Can you pass the salt” Y/N asked, the shaker was right in front of Leo, and while she’d rather not talk to him, her mama would’ve killed her for not using her manners at the dinner table.

Nobody moved. The silence was thick, it was salt for gods sake, one of them could just pass it over, but it was right in front of Leo and he wasn’t moving.

“Leo, can you pass y/n the salt” Hazel whispered, may he just hadn’t heard her.

“Oh she was asking me,” his voice was dripping with sarcasm, “I thought we weren’t speaking.”

“Yeah well if we aren’t talking you may as well just shut up and pass the salt” Y/N’s voice was laced with venom.

“What’s your problem” Leo practically jumped out of his chair.

“Me? I don’t have a problem”

“Oh please it looks like you have plenty of them”

“Okay, that’s enough you two” Jason tried to intervene before it went too far, it had been the same conversation for the past 3 meals and it never ended well, “Leo could you just give her the salt.”

“That depends, is she just going to use it then disappear?”

“Leo-“ Jason warned”

“Fine take it, whatever makes you happy right Y/N” He didn’t wait to hear ehr response before storming off.

Clearly they needed to try harder than that. So that night Piper, Frank, Hazel, and Jason devised a second part of the plan. If the root of the issue was Leo thinking Y/N didn’t like him and that’s why she was ignoring him, and Y/N overheard the conversation where Leo insisted he wouldn’t date her, then it was up to everyone else to subtly tell let the two know just how wrong they got things. The plan was mostly Jason’s idea, but he was definitely right. Piper was almost annoyed she didn’t think of it sooner, especially considering her mom was the goddess of love and all that. So they set into action, Frank and Piper would patrol the deck while Leo was steering the ship and talk about how Y/N is clearly just upset because she thinks Leo doesn’t like her just loud enough that he would overhear, Jason would have Y/n help him make dinner and be a bit more direct asking her what’s happening between her and Leo and do his best to push her into talking to him. Hazel was the final step, if nobody could get them to make up she would do her best to guilt trip them into speaking, she wasn’t sure how yet but she’d come up with something should the need arise.

Leo’s POV

Steering the ship late at night got boring, sure one of the others gladly would’ve taken over if he asked, but none of them quite understood how to operate the whole ship, well no one except Annabeth. Besides he wasn’t getting much sleep nowadays anywhere, maybe it was the impending war with Gaea, or the fact that his best friend hated him, but he was up all night all the time. If he was going to be awake he may as well be productive. So he steered the ship, checking the radar on occasion and talking festus when things got a bit too quiet. He knew Piper and Frank were on patrol and would eventually make their way in to talk to him, but until them Leo was left alone with his thoughts. He didn’t have any clue what he did to Y/N but he knew she had no reason to be ignoring him after she left him alone that night. Plus, he tried talking to her more than once to tell her how he felt, but she wouldn’t even give her the time of day so really she was the problem. Clearly that night together meant nothing to her so he decided it would mean nothing to him. He no longer loved Y/N. It would be much simpler that way. At least that’s what he told himself as the exhaustion started setting in.

“Look Piper, I know I’m not Leo’s biggest fan or anything but I don’t understand why Y/N just tell him how she feels” Franks voice broke through the steady beeping of machinery as they walked down the hall.

“It’s because she overheard him talking to Hazel and now she thinks he doesn’t like her which is ridiculous”

Y/N overheard him talking to Hazel? That couldn’t be right, she’d left and he didn’t see her all day. He thought back to that morning as he talked to Hazel when it clicked, he swore he had heard footsteps, it must have been Y/N.

“I get that, but why didn’t she just talk to Leo”

‘Frank, you’re the one who found her crying that night, she probably felt terrible and didn’t want to get hurt but talking to him again. We all know she isn’t the best at emotions.” Piper’s voice sounded weird.

“Yeah well neither is Leo.” That wasn't weird especially coming from Frank, but still he didn’t need to say it like that, “ But its pretty obvious to everyone but Y/N that he is head over heels in love with her. Maybe he just needs to give it one more shot, you know, talk to her alone and apologize for what she overheard and explain the full story. If he tells her he’s sorry and just explains he was worried she’d reject him, she would definitely forgive him and they could just live happily ever after.”

“Either way until one of them decides to be the bigger person and talk to the other, we’re in for a long ride.”

It was settled, as much as he would never admit this publicly, Frank was right. He needed to talk to y/n and he needed to do it now before she could hate him anymore. He put festus into autopilot and did his best to pretend he didn’t overhear Piper and Frank talking.

“Hey Leo, didn’t know you were still up” Piper said casually

“Of course, someone’s gotta keep this ship moving if were going to get to Percy and Annabeth in time” Leo forced a laugh, he didn’t really have time to stand here chatting

“Well we will be here all night if you need anything,” Piper offered

“Actually I have to run down to the boiler room for a few minutes if one of you wouldn’t mind keeping and eye on the radar, we don’t really have time to deal with any monster attacks right now”

“Yeah you got it bro, and hey dinner is in like 5 minutes try not to come back covered in grease or Hazel may kill you” Frank said with a smile

Leo didn’t even have time to think about how weird Frank was acting, like seriously when had Frank ever referred to anyone let alone Leo as bro. Still Leo was already on his way down the stairs to the living quarters, he needed to talk to y/n.

Y/N’s POV

Y/N was just about ready to go hide in her room for the next 3-5 business days, or at least until they reach the doors of death, whichever ever came first. She was exhausted, physically and emotionally exhausted. When she wasn’t patrolling or trying to come up with some sort of plan to save the entire world, she was arguing with Leo, and when she wasn’t arguing with Leo she was thinking about him. Actually she thought about him basically 24/7 but she didn’t want to think about that too much. Leo was a condescending little jerk, and he didn’t deserve the space he held in her mind, now if only her brain would get the memo. All Y/n wanted was a distraction. If she were back at Camp Half-Blood right now it would be easy to get her mind off Leo. She would just curl up with a book or do target practice with Will, heck she’d even volunteer for extra shifts in the med bay if it meant getting her mind off things, but abroad the Argo II the only distractions they ever seemed to get were monster attack and Y/N really did want one of those. So she settled on taking a nap. All she had to do was curl up under her blankets and at least until dinner she wouldn’t have to think about Leo and his stupid, adorable, obnoxious face. So that’s what she did it felt like she’d only been asleep for a few minutes when there was a pounding at her door. Y/n walked over to open it, surprised to see Jason there of all people.

“I need your help” He said looking but panicked.

“Yeah of course, what’s wrong” Y/n was concerned, it wasn’t like Jason to ask for help and she was the last person he’d come to normally. It was weird, something must be seriously wrong.

“I was making dinner and I burned basically everything and I mean you can’t even eat it and we only have like 20 minutes till dinner I need your help.”

“Can’t someone else help? I’m a terrible cook.” Y/N insisted, it wasn’t that she was all that terrible, it was just not something she really enjoyed doing. Baking on the other hand was her favorite.

”I can’t ask Hazel she made dinner the last 2 nights, Piper has never cooked a day in her life unless you count cereal, and Frank is Frank, he’d say yes because he’s too nice but he’d be miserable. Plus he’s already on patrol right now so it wouldn’t be fair to pull him off to help me cook.”

“Fine, I’ll help but you have to help me make breakfast tomorrow then”

”Deal” He was quick to agree.

So Y/n and Jason made their way down to the kitchen, there wasn’t any evidence of burned food but Y/N figured Jason had already gotten rid of it. The two of them worked side by side to make up a pasta dish that hopefully looked like it was the original plan. It was actually pretty nice, Jason’s no Y/N hadn’t had time to hang out in a while and it was nice to catch up. They talked about all sorts of things, what they wanted to do after the quest was over, their favorite movies, and Y/n least favorite topic as of late, Leo. Jason was good Y/N would give him that much. Despite her managing to avoid the topic so far he was able to sneak it in when they were talking about their favorite foods on the ship.

”I mean your breakfast sandwiches are killer Y/n but i really think Leo’s the best chef here” Jason laughed hoping Y/N wouldn’t snap at him for mentioning Leo’s name.

”I hate that you’re right” Y/n admitted, looking rather annoyed at herself for doing so.

”What happened between you anyways? It’s like all of a sudden someone flipped a switch and you went from loving each other to hating each other, did he do something because I’ll kill him.” Okay Jason was definitely being weird, he wasn’t normally one to but into peoples lives.

”I have no clue what you’re talk about.”

“Don’t lie, you guys were fine and now you can’t be in the same room without screaming at one another, so clearly something happened.” Jason insisted, Y/N just didn’t understand why he wouldn’t just drop it.

”Jason, seriously its fine,” it wasn’t fine.

”Look you’re both my friends, and I know all of us being trapped here can get intense sometimes, but he likes you and you like him. Maybe you should just talk it out.”

“And we are done here, I’m going to my room to clean up before dinner. I'll see you in 5.” And with that Y/n walked away effectively ending the conversation.

Gods, she should’ve known something was up. Since when had Jason ever wanted to talk about feelings, he was plotting something. Scratch that, Piper was probably the one plotting something since nobody else would be able to get Jason involved. Besides, he didn’t know anything, Leo didn’t like her and it was like nobody besides Y/N could get the hint and move on. She closed the door to her room before quickly changing out of her current clothes. Just as she was tying up her hair there was another knock at the door.

”Hey Y/n dinner is in like 2 minutes wanna walk up with me?” Hazel asked.

”I’m changing right now so just go without me”

There was no response, y/n continued to tie her hair up when there was another knock.

”Hazel I said go without me”

”Um, its not Hazel, can I come in and talk to you for a second?”

Leo. This is just what she needed, she could probably just say no and head up to dinner now right? Besides anything he had to say he could say in front of everybody else at this point. It wasn’t like everybody wasn’t up in her business anyway. She debated what to do for another minute when Leo’s voice rang out again.

”Y/N? Please I know you’re in there” He said it with a slight laugh, almost involuntarily she smiled, its like he knew she was trying to figure out how to escape the room without talking to him.

There was only one thing she could do at this point, so Y/N opened the door.

There was a palpable tension in the room. Leo shuffled in awkwardly unsure what he should be doing, is this the sort of conversation you have sitting or standing. Should he keep the door open? Maybe he should close it, the walls on the ship were pretty thin so if y/n decided to murder Leo someone would probably hear it. No he’d keep it open, that way if things went south he could just run away.

”What do you want Valdez,” Okay straight to the point, clearly this was going to be harder than Leo originally thought.

“I’m sorry.” Gods that wasn’t what he wanted to say, well it was, but he had so much more to say and he couldn’t find the words.

“Okay if that’s all then I’m going to go grab dinner”

“No that’s not what I meant,” Leo said quickly

“So you’re not sorry? Great talk Leo” Y/N began to push her way to the door.

“Y/n stop.” His voice seemed to echo in the room, y/n froze and turned around to face him. “Please Y/n, I need you to hear me out and when I’m done you can chose to hate me if that’s what you want but first i need you to listen, promise me you’ll listen.”

“I- I promise” Y/N had never seen Leo like this, he looked worried, upset, gods when she looked at him its like she could see all the sleepless nights engraved in his eyes.

“I’m terrible at apologies, I normally just make a joke and laugh it off but I’m not joking about this, I need you to know I’m 100% serious with what I’m about to say,” He looked at you as if waiting for you to shut him down, to break your promise instead you just nodded. “That night we spent together was basically the best night of my entire life and I was really happy because I’ve been in love with you for ages, basically since the first day I laid eyes on you. And when you disappeared without saying anything I panicked. I thought maybe it didn’t mean anything to you, I thought maybe you regretted it so I talked to Hazel. And I know I said some awful things, I said that I would never date you but I was lying, I was just hurt and trying to pretend I wasn’t. Gods Y/N I’d give the world to take it back but I can’t, and that’s what you overheard, me being an asshole because my feelings got hurt.

“And I know you had no reason to stick around but if you did you would know that i also told Hazel I was in love with you, not was am, I am in love with you. And I didn’t know you overheard me, Hazel told me I needed to talk to you so that’s why I kept trying and I wouldn’t leave you alone, and clearly you were mad at me but i didn’t know why at the time, and I know i was jerk to you and I can’t undo that but I’m hoping you’ll forgive me. Gods, I’m such an idiot and I should-“

Gods the boy could ramble forever if you’d let him, but you didn't have time for that. Instead you cut him off by kissing him.

”Wait, so does this mean you forgive me?” Leo asked

”What do you think” You laughed leaning in to kiss him again.

”Well I want to think yes, but I’m pretty sure we’ve established thinking is not my strong suit”

“I forgive you Leo.” His face lit up, “and I’m sorry too, my feelings were hurt and I didn’t give you a chance to explain anything, and you should know I only left because I was worried, I mean what do you say to your best friend after-“

“after you blurred the lines of your friendship and haven’t figured out what comes next?” He finished for you with a laugh.

“yeah”

“We really should get better at this whole talking thing, it would probably save us a lot of trouble.” He smiled, taking you into his arms.

“Speaking of trouble we should probably make our way up to dinner before one of them comes down here.” You smile and start pulling him to the door.

Okay so I know that about halfway through I started writing she/her instead of you but in my defense I stayed up all night writing this and also I’m literally just a girl.

[bigb-enthusiast]

OK LET'S GO! i have no idea how long this ramble will be :D

-the au is MAINLY flower ranchers centric, focused on "grian went missing and now they have to find him". he joined a cult (the watchers) is what happened lol. theres lots of plot stuff and martyn bigb and pearl help them along with some other people but for bigb specifically!

-the nosy neighbors are very much Do Not Separate Under Any Fucking Circumstances!

-this is because BEFORE the main plot, they were best friends and ALSO joined the cult. they got fun magic while they were there (pearl can talk to animals and bigb can alter memories/make people want to do stuff they wouldnt normally) but also It Was Literally An Evil Cult.

-bigb was the one to figure it out. he was fooling around with his magic and thought too hard about his and pearls circumstances and basically went "hangon this is bad stuff we're doing here??" (The watchers were making them do bad stuff with their magic. This is Important Trauma Event #1

-he and pearl make an escape attempt and barely succeed bc the watchers tried to mind control bigb sort of and 1) make him not leave and 2) make him make pearl not leave, WITH HIS MAGIC! BY MAKING BOTH OF THEM FORGET EVERYTHING! He snaps, kills a guy or seven, Gets Him And His Bestie The Fuck Out Of There, and loses a bunch of his magical ability in the process! :D Trauma Event #2.

-unfortunately there were even more side effects than this

-he now sometimes forgets what he was doing but with full hours disappearing except for some vague memories. also he randomly lies to people about unimportant things for no reason! This Is On Accident, I Cannot Stress This Enough. also he's not even using his magic then but he keeps rolling nat 20s on charisma soooo (Trama Event(s) #3). fortunately it's only little things like what he ate for breakfast or that he saw a cool bug or what his fav ice cream flavor is. nothing big enough to have serious fallout

-(he still gets very worried about that though, but pearl is there to help him <3 neither of them have told anybody* about anything they went through also so they literally only have each other. theyre just trying to be normal people)

-*we'll get to that later :)

-I mentioned that he lost a bunch of his magical ability! Well he still has enough that he can use magic it just takes a lot more energy and effort and like he can't just wave a hand and someone forgets their entire life (he used to be that strong.) now though he can still fiddle with peoples minds but he HATES doing it bc of what the watchers made him do (im thinking they essentially tried to use him as a recruitment officer??) so in the (so far only one) incredibly rare circumstance he feels forced to actually use magic, he will become incredibly overwhelmed with guilt<3

-Now It's Time For The Fun Part.

-so we all know last life swamprot! there was a betrayal, a fuckton of guilt and sadness, and a Grudge.

-we're fastforwarding to the present, scott has obtained magic and he's close with cleo so he told her just about everything (with him and tango and jimmy at least). scott does not know about anyone else having magic yet. (Martyn also has magic from the listeners, but he's got his own stuff going on.)

-in CLEO'S past, martyn and her had... something going on. but martyn told her about his magic, so when scott told her, she already knew it was A Thing.

-BUT ACTUALLY, SHE EVEN KNEW BEFORE THEN!

-im thinking that one time after bigb had, like, a particularly bad memory/"i'm going to hurt everyone and not even know it" episode, pearl ends up a few days later in her OWN puddle of guilt bc she knows hes only suffering this bad bc she was there with him during all the watcher stuff and she gets drunk or something and goes to cleo to cry and ends up telling them E V E R Y T H I N G

-cleo, being a good friend, doesnt tell anyone anything and when pearl doesnt remember either the next day they think it best to let her forget too lest she panic. so cleo is basically the one friend that knows everyones secrets but none of the friends know about anyone else? later on everyone gets told everything but cleo was stuck with the Curse of Knowledge for a bit (side effect of being a trustworthy friend lmao)

-SO ONE DAY *cue evil laughter*

-one day, after the FRs have some adventure or whatnot, and cleo and bigb are hanging out, cleo decides that maybe it's time to help the nosy neighbors with their insane mental burdens. they try to allude to bigb that they KNOW, thinking that pearl would feel less bad about everything if B was also there to be like "hey man it's cool, i'm not mad at you" and all.

-B Fuckign Panics Again

-TIME FOR BIGB'S MAGIC ISSUES TO COME INTO PLAY AGAIN :D

-bigb, in this now-panic, makes cleo forget everything about HIM and magic. imagine "all instances of 'bigb' and 'magic' in the same thoughts or memories disappearing" type stuff. unfortunately cleo's known for long enough and still remembers pearl and martyn and scott and knows what bigb's power is and bigb just isnt thorough enough in a panic and his magic isnt strong enough to cover the gaps so when she blinks back into the present she Knows What He Did. and shes MAD

-(she knows why he did it, but she doesnt understand why he wouldnt trust her, but ESPECIALLY why even though he was SO scared of ever hurting anyone with his magic, he was willing to erase her memory without a second thought)

-This is Trauma Event #4

-now, he actually DID have a LOT of second thoughts. it took him a mental debate and a LOT of apologizing before and while he did it but he erased cleos memory of THAT in the process.

-and she doesnt have the backup memories to get that part back. so that's a tiny bit of miscommunication but it actually works well (i think)

-now once everything gets explained, for the most part everything gets cleared up, but bigb thinks cleo DOES remember him apologizing bc she remembered everything else, and cleo is mad at him because she DOESN'T, but that's mostly just a little bit of extra tension between them. everything else is fine

-(cleo martyn and nosy neighbors have the Important Informational Conversation before the FRs are made aware of any of their stuff though)

-theres still more but it's like scattered in bits and pieces that require a lot more explaining and this ask is long enough already LMAO

DO YOU LIKE WHAT I HAVE SO FAR :DDD

THIS IS WO COOL OMG WTF HRBWHICHWBCJEHCBEBGKFOJW

[novelcain]

Hi, it’s me again, I had a couple of ideas, a couple are about possible bard reader, another is a musing for any reader, and the last is a general question.

1. Bards aren’t solely musicians, (from my dnd experience,) they also recite poems, ballads, and stories. So what if Reader tries to keep some of the more prone to boredom pilgrims by talking about various other myths and stories she might know? For example, she might’ve had an ancient Egypt or Greek mythology phase and still remembers a lot of those stories and when things are getting dull, she just goes like “Hey, wanna hear a funny story?” And then talk about Midas getting cursed with donkey ears. It manages to occupy the silence with something more interesting.

2. I’ve seen the Ruan being suggested as Reader’s instrument, but I wonder if anyone has considered the Xun. A xun is basically a small ceramic or wood instrument in the same family as the ocarina, but played slightly differently. They’re quite portable, and they could also make for a convenient “which one of these identical monkeys is Six Eared Macaque,” test. Nothing against the Ruan, just wanted to share. (Bonus: if the Reader likes the Zelda games, she could play some of those songs and most of them are either soothing or fun to dance to.)

2.5. Personally, I am an edgy girl, so if I chose to sing, it’d be like the early 2000s nu-metal songs from groups like Evanescence, Breaking Benjamin, Three Days Grace, and all of that other stuff, so that’d be embarrassing.

3. How are she and Tripitaka going to stay warm in the winter? There were points in the book where it was stated to be snowing or at least very cold, and idk if Guanyin would give them coats or if they’d have to get one of the other pilgrims to beg for a couple of used old coats. If Guanyin did give them some, it’d be neat to see like a feather cloak or something along those lines as feathers (down) are very good at insulating and keeping one warm.

4. Given all of the times when Tripitaka either punishes Monkey too severely and/or kicks him out, I can imagine the Six Eared Macaque arc being the one where reader genuinely loses her patience and slaps the monk across the face. She doesn’t really even say anything, just turns to leave and if they say anything about how they need her to guide them, “well, you can figure it out for yourself, because I’m done putting up with your ‘holier than thou’ bullshit.” Then goes to find Wukong. Depends on if you want the one she finds to be the real one, trying not to cry, or if she runs into his doppelgänger. (Suppose we’ll have to wait and see.)

Have a good Sunday, Skittle!

-🌺 Anon

Hello again~

ok soooo i'm gonna admit that at first I had no idea what you were talking about but then I remembered that one of my followers did fanart with their version of Reader using a Ruan and I just wanna say that isn't canon it was just someone's art. anything that i post about ittw on here should be considered specifically not canon just for fun. i also won't answer any questions about what will happen in the future of any of my fics or au's (i know i'm a meanie😋). you can find all my ask rules on my pinned post 😊 (tho i might update them soon)

also everything about ittw was set in stone before i even began writing. nothing will change the plot even if i find an idea that i like (there was one idea from someone's fanart that i liked and i was thinking about using since it wouldn't effect the plot [after getting their permission] but i won't be doing that now because i don't want anyone to think i'm playing favorites or have a bunch of people try to get me to add their ideas as well. i've already had a bunch of people try to do that and it really stresses me out cause it's hard to stay nice in those situations) because of that (and i mean this in the nicest way possible i promise i'm not trying to sound like a jerk) i won't be taking any suggestions for plots unless i specifically ask for them🤗

I hope you have a great Sunday too, 🌺 Anon!

[thotsforvillainrights]

First of all, I love your writing. Keep up the amazing work! ♡♡♡

My question is~ Can we maybe get a scenario for Re Destro with a pregnant s/o? Maybe a few weeks after the Deika incident soooo a mix of angst and fluff?

Thank youuuu~

(This might not fit for everyone so I apologize ahead of time! Also I'm terrible at anything angst so I'm hoping this doesn't drift too fa into fluff. Thanks Anon btw, I needed some Re-Dadstro requests!)

~Worries and Stresses~

headcanon|scenario|imagine|match-up

"Up already? I thought you'd at least be sleeping in for another hour our so." He smiled when your voice broke the early morning silence. "Didn't you hear about the early bird getting the worm?" He replies to you. Rikiya turned from his spot on the couch to get a better look at you. He just couldn't help but to feel that certain kind of pride that comes with seeing you like this. Any day now he would get the chance to meet his little one in person. However, with this anticipation and joy comes the fear and anxiety. It was something he could say he wasn't all that familiar with in his life. Sure he's had worries and disappointments but never has he ever felt more afraid before than now. And it shows.

You smile gently and approach him, reaching out to caress along the side of his face. You take an extra second or two to rub along his forehead where the stress mark was expanding slowly. "Are you panicking again?" You tease and he chuckles lightly. "I suppose my meta ability doesn't leave room for any secrets regarding my emotion on the matter." You nod and take a seat next to him. For a little while it's quiet between the two of you. While he's taking time to rub small circles onto your stomach, your busy carefully getting a feel for his newly amputated limbs. Just a bit of your own worry is starting to creep forward. Maybe it was more along the lines of regret. Regret for not being able to make it to him in time to help him. To be of some sort of assistance no matter how small.

"I know you're thinking it again so I'm going to respectfully ask you to stop." He interrupts. You lean further into him and look up at him. "Rikiya-" He frowns and gently places a finger on your lips to shush you. "We've had this conversation before. There is nothing you could've assisted me in during that battle. I'm thankful every single day that you weren't mixed up in it. I could've lost both of you." He gestures at your stomach and you place both hands onto it, the slight panic fleeting at the thought of losing your child like so. "But still..." You pause to try and gather your thoughts. "If I could've done anything then you wouldn't have ended up like this." You feel yourself getting frustrated all over again. He shushes you once more and pulls you closer into his chest to hug you. "I have to have this conversation often with Geten, so I know exactly what to say to you as well. There is nothing you could do to stop what was likely going to happen. I'd prefer we keep it like that. Besides, I live to see another day. Is that not what's important right at this moment? Our child needs both of us, so I would chose to lose a thousand limbs to sacrifice in order to be here with you both today. I worry as well, so I will not say your feelings are invalid." He vents to you for the first time after the operation. "I'm concerned about being strong enough these days to protect the both of you. With me getting further in age as well, it's something I've been thinking about even before the incident. On top of this, I'm slightly concerned about the various challenges that come with fatherhood. I want to provide the best possible life for our child that I can manage. What if I'm simply not fitting of the bill?" You notice the stress mark once again spreading.

"Well you know what they say. Parenthood doesn't come with a manual at all. We're both going into this thing blind, so don't think too hard on it. It's something the both of us need to learn to weather together. Besides, I'm sue if we rely on each other then there's no possible way we could fail. And for what it's worth, I still think you're strong enough for me, old man." You wink and he sighs a bit of relief. "Let's not sit here and dwell too hard on the subject. We've got to focus on something else. Perhaps you wouldn't mind showing me another one of those preparation videos on the internet? I think I've almost learned the swaddling 100 percent!" You laugh and shake your head remembering him practicing and failing swaddling the couch throw pillow yesterday. "Yeah, let's put off the worry until tomorrow. Maybe it would be best for us both." He nods before placing a gentle peck on your forehead.

Maybe a short breather would do best for the both of you right now.

[divorcingjimmatthews]

fresh thoughts / reactions on the new episode (S2E4)

(warning: its LONG but separated in chapters by character so it's like you're reading game of thrones)

on Kenny

KENNY???? kenny???? when ??? Are they going to stop beating my boy??? when is he going to catch a break???? Hes so hurt already stop!!! my sweet boy youre breaking him!!

(*takes a deep breath*)

okay im normal now. i just want to wrap kenny in a warm blanket and give him some hot chocolate. this was devastating. let me start by saying that i really liked that kenny wanted to put sara in the box, it goes to show how even "sweet cinammon roll" characters have their limits and imo his reaction is entirely reasonable. i think he might change his mind after he's had some time to process his feelings but even if he doesn't i still think his stance is understandable.

also... kenny just wants kristi to be happy :') my sweet boy

on Boyd

i think boyd was really interesting this episode, the flashback was great (also—kenny in a hoodie! i manifested it /jk) and what boyd said about himself, that he's just trying to be someone people can look to and think he's got things together and under control even though he doesn't, really helped me put his actions with sara and lying to kenny into perspective. if not for that scene i probably wouldve watched the episode and thought "what the hell boyd?" but the flashback made me realise that i was kinda seeing the character through the filter of "guy who's supposed to know what he's doing". he's put so much effort into building this image of himself that shattering it by acting like just some guy who's under a hell of a lot of stress had catastrophic consequences. he fucked up huge w kenny but i also feel like its unfair that one person has to carry so much weight on his shoulders if that makes sense

on Jade

i want to kill him but also kiss him softly and tell him everything is going to be okay what can i say. he actually smiled this episode :) i loved watching him be nice in his own way. but also damn he's definitely doing worse by the day. the friendship with the bus driver???? superb. a perfect writing choice. i just love the way hes trying to push everyone away but also just starved for human comfort and connection. i was really happy to see him just be with someone so they could at least drown their sorrows together instead of alone. am i shipping them? yes. my ideal jade ship was trudy but they cruelly took her from us so ill have to keep looking for options. anyone around his age is game

also him being just pissed that the matthews were living there now was so funny. "at least you had a house" actual 5 year old behavior. love to see it. you'll warm up to them jade

on Jim

jim you're going to break all your remaining bones can you PLEASE follow the doctors orders and stick to the bed for a while?? he put the experiment theory canonically on the table and i think that's great, i think it's a pretty sound theory though i think there's going to be more to it, not just an experiment to gather data but for some specific purpose that we're yet to know.

on Sara

oh babygirl you really fucked up big time back in season one didnt you. personally i dont blame sara but id be worried that what happened to her could happen again. everything about her was heartbreaking this episode but when she casually said that the boy in white may also be trapped in this place??? dammit. that's a game changer for all of my theories if true. was he ever a normal human boy? do people get supernatural abilities from continued survival / progress in this place or something like that? like martin giving boyd his blood was super deliberate and we've still got to see if it's really gonna be a curse or if it could be a blessing after the initial adjustment period. it stopped his tremors at least and who knows maybe it comes with some extra bonuses like the monsters not seeing you as prey idk. im totally rambling rn.

on Julie

soooo julie and edgin huh. im digging it. theyre cute. i really like julie and i want good things for her. i hurt so much for her when fatima rejected her advances she was so nervous and excited poor sweet bean

on Victor

saving my strongest feelings for last i love victor so much and it hurt me so much to see him hurt and mad at ethan :''') jade look at what you've done. i need this to get fixed. i need them to be friends again. can i just say how well victor has kept it together under the circumstances of well, his whole life? it's like he's nice even when he's mad. there's just something about his character and i love him so much. but i got so sad watching this like ethan tried to stop jade he doesn't deserve the hate !!! but its understandable that victor needs time to get things back to normal. ethan bringing him the drawing supplies also... :') they're so sweet

on Randall (was that his name?)

im literally terrified for him like he wasn't listening to donna's instructions and being on the bus without anything to cover the windows he's prime candidate for the monsters tricking him into pretending to be someone he knows dammitttt its making me so nervous just to think about it. they set him up a lot to just kill him now so i dont think hes realistically gonna die on his first night alone but uhhhhh maybe he will. maybe he will and im worried.

[cinematicnomad]

i watched the first 3 eps of daisy jones and the six. my thoughts are, i’ll probably watch the rest of the series bc i am always a sucker for the fake-documentary conceit and getting to see these characters several years removed from the events of the story, able to comment on their flaws and extrapolate about the mistakes they made etc etc. i know it’s based on a book so i’m tempted to go in search of that to just read but for now, here’s what i think of the show: 

the first three eps felt a little thin, especially since you spent the whole time just WAITING for them all to finally connect. despite daisy having less Plot™ to get through, i think riley keough is pretty great in this steve nicks-type character (not perfect, but definitely compelling) and the vibes are so strong that i enjoyed her scenes soooo much more than anything going on with the dunne brothers and their v obvious story beats. sam claflin as billy specifically is...fine? but the character feels v shallow and he seems miscast age-wise—i know they’re all having to play older in the interview scenes but he is not believable as a young-20 something musician, especially when surrounded by so many other baby faced actors. hopefully as the episodes progress his age starts to match the scenes better? the best thing he has going for him in this role is definitely his voice, which does sound good with riley’s and i’m eager to hear more of their songs together, but performance-wise...eh. he’s a little forgettable—case in point, i literally finished the 3rd episode like 15 minutes ago and i already had to use google to figure out his character’s name while typing this up. 

as for the other characters, eddie seems v two-dimensional. i hope he gets some added depth beyond just being the jealous would-be lead singer—i’m getting strong jason lee in almost famous vibes, except jason lee was actually funny in that role and contributed more that just barely hidden resentment. i will admit i’m onboard for the karen/graham will they/won’t they, so i’m intrigued to see where that goes, though when they’re separate from each other they’re a little less distinct. i DID enjoy karen’s reaction to daisy in the recording studio so i’m eager to see how that relationship develops. warren is, unfortunately, the after thought comic relief who doesn’t seem to contribute much other than sight gags about mustaches and 70s drug references. camila, unfortunately, bears the brunt of being intimately tied to the character i care least about in the show, but i do enjoy the spark they’ve managed to highlight in her—the scene of her standing up for herself after finding billy in the van was solid. she’s definitely playing a v specific trope—the first wife in the musician biopic, the ginnifer goodwin as vivian cash in walk the line—and seems to be somewhat inspired by linda mccartney (the photographer to paul’s singer/songwriter), so i’ll wait to see what they do with her. 

my favorite two characters though, by far, have to be simone and teddy, who both feel more real and lived in than any of the others. they have the benefit of also having storylines and interior lives removed from daisy or billy (had to google his name again, yikes)—the scene of simone coming home from that horrifying recording day to find daisy sitting on the floor and finding herself unable to explain just what happened, what made her skin crawl, how she’s feeling...damn that was good. also, her stunned reaction to the bold woman at the party being so direct—the scene was so charged and i’m hoping we get to see that nyc club owner return. and teddy as a music producer who’s had a bad run of failed records trying to get his colleagues to put faith in his gut instincts instead of saddling him with christmas albums of old timers is especially poignant. his physicality does a great job showing the physicality of the stress he feels professionally, especially when he finds himself starting to care for these two young singers, separately, and then, eventually, deciding to bring them together is really lovely—i’m hoping they take some time to explore WHY exactly he felt compelled to introduce them, what drove him to do that, but i won’t be surprised if it’s left unsaid. i’m hoping simone and teddy continue to shine and don’t get sidelined now that daisy and sam claflin have finally met, but we’ll definitely have to wait and see. 

anyway, don’t know why i felt the need to type this up but tada ✌️

[ruminate88]

Discarded And Confused

I had been questioning for months why Andrew wasn’t breaking up with me when he seemingly appeared too stressed out and busy for me. He barely spent time with me after he love-bombed me and I just didn’t understand what was going on. My biggest fear was that I wasn’t the only girl he was flirting with or talking to. I was also confused and irritated by the fact he was calling me “babe” or “beautiful” but treating me like some random chick he didn’t know. Never called me by my real name and I questioned did he remember my real name or was he talking to so many other girls he didn’t know me that well??

After Valentine’s Day, he just appeared more cold but would randomly be romantic towards me when I least expected it and I was too invested to just walk away. I had been stalking all of his social media, including his mom’s and I was totally obsessed with him! I couldn’t focus on anything else or get any work accomplished. I was just very distracted and only wanted him. I just could tell he didn’t want me the same way BUT when he would randomly be romantic with me, it would confuse me. He called me “babe” so I called him “babe”!! I loved it and didn’t want it to go away but something deep inside me just knew it was all over!!! My friend Bri had been secretly texting him behind my back trying to get answers for me, when I asked her not to do it!! She didn’t tell me for a whole entire month!!!

When Spring break started, exams were FINALLY OVER and I was so excited. Andrew left and went home. He was super chill now with no stress!! I was looking forward to spending much needed time with him but never knew what was about to happen. Monday, first day of spring break, we are texting and I ask him what he’s getting to do on his break. He tells me he’s with his grandpa at the doctors. I believed him because I had no way of knowing otherwise. IN the midst of what started out as a simple conversation, Andrew began to text me, “I don’t know why you love me so much. I’ll never deserve you or be good enough for you!” UGH!! Same weird conversation as Christmas. Once again I thought he was breaking up with me… I told him to understand I was going to be upset and cry but to give me space and it’s ok. I can tell he wants to break up, I felt it awhile and I wasn’t surprised but it still sucked. Andrew was just acting soooo funny with me. I went on a walk, trying to figure it all out and make sense of it all. There was just sooo much fog!!! However, Andrew tells me “I’m NOT breaking up with you.” I didn’t understand at all why he was saying that and I tried so hard to pour out my undying love for him but I could just feel myself grasping my nails onto him, holding on for dear life while he’s slipping through. It was frustrating, super emotional and confusing!

A few days later and I think we’re okay now, I wake up to Andrew randomly being romantic again!! He’s all over me and I’m soooo excited. We cyber sex, it’s hot and I’m thinking things are turning back around…. I can’t truly remember if it was that night or next day, BUT Bri text me, asking how things are going. I tell her it’s gotten better with Andrew, that he’s spending more time with me and even cyber sexted me. Bri was shocked AND knew then I was going to be that much more upset. Bri proceeds to tell me she has to confess something and that I’m NOT going to like it. I already know it’s bad but I’m bracing myself for what she’s going to send me. Then Bri finally confessed she had been texting Andrew behind my back for a month, he’s tried to flirt with her, she has messages of it AND says I’m probably not the only girl he’s talking to/dating. Bri sent me screen shots of messages and instantly my heart was racing, my hands were sweaty and I was breaking down ready to cry!!

In the messages between Bri and Andrew, she asked him what he’s doing and he says “he’s in the shower 😉, does she want to join?” AND she asked him “Is there anyone else you’re talking to?” AND Andrew said back, “There’s nobody else”….. WOW 😣 I was instantly heart broken and super angry. A year with this man, sending pics of me and wasting my time focused and obsessed with him. Right away I sent the screen shots from Bri to Andrew and told him, “You need to explain this right now!!!” Andrew pretended to be so shocked and asked me, “Where did you get these????” I told him from my friend, Bri, and that I think he’s cheating on me. Andrew pretended to be so confused, asking me who in the world Bri is, says he doesn’t know Bri and RIGHT AWAY says, “I thought that was you and that you made a new account on KiK!!!!” Even though we had been cyber-sexting from KiK, texting from our actual phone numbers AND sending Snapchats! How could he be so dumb to believe I would make another KiK account???? I remember wanting to call Andrew on the phone to hear his voice and get his story.

I called Andrew up, he actually answered and I told him how my friend Bri said she texted him behind my back trying to see what he would say. Andrew told me he believed it was me he was talking to the whole time and NOT to be upset at Bri, basically he doesn’t think she did anything wrong AND never admitted to cheating of any kind. Stuck with the story that he believed I made another KiK account and he was talking to me the whooooole time. I was sooooooo confused!!! Part of me believed he was trying to cover his butt and another small part of me actually thought maybe he’s “that stupid”…. My friend Bri was trying to defend herself and tell me Andrew is lying and cheating that I shouldn’t trust him but trust her only!! At that point, I was so hurt and bothered by all of it, I trusted no one and I was sooooooo heartbroken!!

At some point Andrew and I are on the phone and there’s no yelling, he stopped defending himself but he just wasn’t really saying much. I’m just standing there with the phone to my ear, holding back tears, snot trying to drip from my nose and my stomach was shaking. I asked Andrew what’s next, what does he want to do, does he want to break up?? He refused to answer, he kept putting it back on me, saying, “What do you think we should do??” Wow… THAT was beyond what my mind could understand or make sense of. I asked Andrew a simple question, “Well, can you say you love me??” …… Silent. Andrew said NOTHING! You could hear a pin drop. Andrew had no answer, which told me everything I needed to know but it still sucked and made no sense. SO I said back to Andrew, “If you can’t say you love me, you should break up with me!! Why would you date someone you don’t love??? Andrew’s response to me was, “You are so good to me, just the sweetest girl I’ve ever met. I don’t know why you treat me so good. I never deserved you and I’ll never be worthy of your love. I just want you to be soooo happy and I don’t want you to cry!!!” WHAT??!!! Worse, we went in circles…. I told him I did love him very much and he made me happy but if he doesn’t love me, he shouldn’t be with me and that I WAS going to cry because he hurt me.” It’s like Andrew just could not handle breaking up. He was refusing to say it, refusing to end things and kept saying the same phrases over and over, “I’m not worthy of your love” and “I don’t deserve you”….. It felt to me Andrew was wanting me to end things instead of him doing it but I was still very very confused and grasping to what little bit left with him I had. Obviously I wanted him to feel the way I did and he wasn’t going to. I had NO idea he was just using me and manipulating me. I could not understand him.

I stood there on the phone trying to be brave and be a “big girl” but it was hard. Tears on the edge of my eyelids, not able to fall down my cheeks yet, snot sliding but I kept sniffling it back up, embarrassed, scared, confused, sad, not quite accepting he’s lying and cheating!! Asking him what he wants to do from here. He just kept saying, “I don’t know what’s best for us.” BUT WHY???? If Andrew couldn’t say he loved me, how could he NOT know what to do??? 3 LONG HOURS WE WENT IN CIRCLES having the saaaaame conversation, Andrew continued to say he didn’t want me to cry, that he only wanted me to be happy but I told him I was not happy because he can’t say he loved me and he talked to Bri behind my back, telling her “There’s nobody else” and I told Andrew, “I’m just a nobody to you!!!!” Andrew swore he didn’t mean that but obviously he was caught, he couldn’t take it back or change it and the fact he couldn’t say he loved me, was enough for us to go our separate ways ACCEPT Andrew wouldn’t end it with me. He drug the whole thing out, he kept saying what I wanted to hear to prolong me from leaving him. He would NOT let go of me and it was making me a wreck!!!! I could not make sense of why he wouldn’t just end it and say “sorry let’s break up” NO! He kept circling back around to “I want you to be so happy”.

SO, I was getting exhausted and weary. I told Andrew that we weren’t getting anywhere in the conversation that I needed a break from him. He has pushed me to the edge where I was about to fall off into a dark abyss. I hung up, I’m so hurt, sad and confused, I just didn’t know what to think of him. I was pacing the floor feeling hopeless with him. Not much longer after that, Andrew sent me the most frustrating text!!! He said, “Why do we have to make a decision today??? Why are you making this such a big deal?? What if we both take the weekend apart from each other and think things over first then come back together and decide then…” WAS HE SERIOUS???? My heart was crumbling to pieces, my nerves were at an all-time high and my stomach was shaking soooo hard!! I could not believe he asked that of me. Quickly I became in rage and I FINALLY stood up for myself!! I called him and after several rings it went to his voice mail… I POURED OUT MY HEART AND SOUL IN ANGER! I said in my voice message, “NO! You are not dragging this out! That’s so unfair to me!!! I’ve been so good to you and no we are not taking a weekend apart to think it over, since you can’t do the breaking up for some reason, I’m DOING IT FOR YOU!! IT’S OVER!!!!!!!” I was crying, shaking, I kicked the wall and slammed the door. I paced in circles just falling apart such a mess!!!!!!!

20-30 minutes later, Andrew sent me a text saying he went with his mom and sister and left his phone at home by accident. Then asked me did I try to call him…. Wow. 😨 I told him YES and that I left him a voicemail. He said okay that he will listen to it and be right back. (He was trying to pretend like nothing was wrong) IT WAS SO WEIRD!! Not much longer after he said he would listen to my voice mail, he came back to me AND his response was, “Awwww… okay. Can we still be friends?” 😳😰🫣😤🥺😖😭

I knew then that’s what Andrew wanted all along was to break up but it made no sense to me why I had to do the breaking up and the way he had no emotions about it just wrecked me!!! It tore me up and shattered my heart into a million pieces!!! I had no idea what to think or believe about Andrew at that point. He made nooooo sense!!!!

That night my family was over my house and I was locked in my bathroom with my fan on, crying so hard, not able to breathe and it hurt so much!!!! It was MOST confusing and hard to piece together. That whole night I was tossing and turning, I dreamt he was trying to still hook up with me and that the breakup wasn’t truly over. When I woke up the next morning, he was ALL I could think of and I missed him so bad I couldn’t resist texting him. I wished him good morning and asked how he was doing… he said he was “fine” and asked me how I was doing… I told him I felt like a zombie, that I cried all night and I was so sad and hurt. He told me “sorry” which didn’t feel legit but told me I needed space and that I was “going to be okay” AND stopped responding to me. I was a mess all day and regretting breaking up with him EVEN THOUGH I KNEEEEEW I did the right thing. I KNEW in my gut things were not right with him but just couldn’t understand it all. I was in serious trauma bond and cognitive dissonance!! I could not keep away from him and found myself running back to him for further punishment and that’s what I got!!

I then proceeded to spend a summer of torture and humiliation with Andrew! It was a nightmare and I believe he’s an evil person!!! I believe he was trying to push me to hurt myself. I’m not gonna wanna talk about that either but maybe my story will help someone make sense of their situation?

[tetsuslove]

Things that happened in the few months that I need to let go here or I’m going crazy. So make a tea and enjoy while shaking your heads

TW: drinking/ vomiting

No editing, so there could be many writing mistakes!

So where can I actually start?

Y’all don’t know how happy I am that it’s a new year but even that, it started soooo shitty that I lost my way on life ( no joking)

Last year was hell, my ‘friends’ showed their true colors so I was mostly on myself ( only one friend, let’s call her L, was on my side)

I had many breakdowns that I physically and mentally not go to school and was stressed over my exams. After all, if I fail my main classes, I will not make it through my graduation. I even begged my teachers, where I was pretty unsure after the exam, that they should send me a mail to tell me, if I make through the year or not. Only one told me that I sadly failed the class only days ago.

On Saturday, that’s showed how bad the alcohol got me. My dad is gone for a while, so I have the apartment for me alone. After I got the mail, I brought strong alcohol ( I’m 20y.o Europe girl, it’s allowed okay 🥲) and on that night, it was hell. I never ever got that drunk that I vomited for a good hour, alone. When I woke up, I realized what happened but thank good nothing bad happened ( I drew a picture with my makeup while being drunk??? I was so confused after the morning lmao)

Today my friend L messaged me that we got our exams back and I know from my heart, that I also failed the second class where I’m bad at it. So it all started again like on Saturday— I know alcohol isn’t a fully answers about this situation but for me it gives at least a bit of joy in my life right now. Because all I get asked is if “ I’m ready for my graduation exams” or “ If I already started to study for it” but NEVER “ How I’m feeling right now”. And when tried to talk with my sister about it, she wasn’t accepting it, she was more like “ since I could do it, you need do it too” even though we both are DIFFERENT in so many things.

So what’s my plan? Since I have a job, I will talk this week with the upper manager, changing my shift to a more station server. Earring money, looking for a apartment and leaving everything behind, like everything. My friends ( except L) doesn’t text me, doesnt know what’s going on or what I did or how I feel at the moment at it truly sucks. Nobody will know my next step because all I want is to be quit, quit about it so it will be more a shocke effect

With money, oh babe, I need help. Sadly I was in a black hole where buying stuff makes me happy, so you can think what’s going on in my bank account. I still can make through! I know I can but still need to plan it out

Next thing: relationships

I already told the one with my friends ones, my parents is okay and the one with my sisters too

Only thing is that I was giving my energy to a boy who didn’t give anything back and you know what hurts more ? That I promise myself not to fall in love with sb who treats me unfair in any kind

Right now I’m at home, staying at home for few days even the school started and before sb says “ why are you skipping school?” Because I’m not mentally ready, especially what happened on Saturday was something that I still need to heal

The apartment from my dad is dirty af because of me and I will clean it ofc, after all I think I vomited on the carpet ( I already putted in the bathtub but still need to wash it. I threw it when I realized it while being drunk)

So that’s an update for now 🤭

[keefwho]

October 12 - 2022

3:04 PM

OKAY how am I feeling right now? I’m still stressed, but about things that could still happen. I’m mostly completely spent. I even decided to postpone commissions for today. I should be fine if I finish the next comm over the next 2 days which seemed doable. As long as more shit doesn’t go wrong on those days. 

Now I’m trying to figure out how to relax. It actually felt good having to put up with shit for a little bit, it gets me in a no bullshit work attitude. Even sorts my tummy out in a kind of way. But now it’s mostly over and my life is in my own hands again. And I’m still unsure if my water is safe. Supposedly it is but its something I don’t KNOW. I guess the only thing bothering me about it right now is how brown my water filter is. I know it’s job is to get dirty over time and it’s getting kinda old but like, I USE the water that goes through that thing. That don’t seem right. My dad is going to help me replace it tonight but I’ve already been using the water. I never got a good look at the filter before this ordeal and it was probably just as dirty. But what if the broken pipe is what ruined it with stuff getting in the water. Also unlikely since it was constantly flowing OUTwards from the pipe but I’m no plumber. Or what about when the leak was fixed and the water out of my sink came out brown for a second. Why didn’t the filter catch whatever that was? I DONT KNOOOOW

All I can do to feel better is get some perspective. No one else is worried about it. I already try to follow the idea that nothing is as dangerous as I make it out to be. How dirty could it even be? Its not like it’s getting sewage in it. Just some dirt from deeeeep underground. And before I used any of the water after they fixed the leak, I let that shit run for a looooong time. 

In other news I sucked my own dick so fucking good for the first time in awhile. I’ve cut down on how much I do it a LOT, for my tummy’s sake. So now it’s like a treat when I do it. 

God I’m goofy aaaaaa

6:52 PM

I’m so STRESSED AAAAA Why can’t I just stop? I’m supposed to be taking the evening EASY but all I can think about are social obligations and the stuff I have to do tomorrow and how I do not have enough energy to push through much more right now. I have rules for this kind of thing. FOCUS on something, as hard as that is sometimes. Or do things in 30 minute or 1 hour segments. That helps me focus since I don’t feel bad dedicating small amounts of time to anything. 

8:32 PM

I feel bad but I scrubbed all my plans tonight because I just can’t take any more right now. I’m doing my best to commit to a cozy stream and a game that I don’t give too much thought. I really need to relax. Tomorrow I should be better, I hope so because I want to buckle down and get things done real early. 

9:22 PM

Now I’m just sad that I’m missing out on fun times with friends. 

Its been a stressful day and a depressing night. I give up for now. Ill recuperate later. 

11:15 PM

I feel like a BITCH. I know if I just buckle down and draw, it won’t be so bad and I’ll feel soooo good when I’m done. Tomorrow will be another attempt to live up to that idea. 

I’ve been making things too complicated in my own head all around. Its easier said than done, and easy to forget, but I can choose to sit back and take things as they come. I can choose to give something my full attention because ultimately anything I have to think or worry about is not that important. The world isn’t going to crumble because I’m not always 100% on top of everything. 

I’m clearly in some kind of cycle where my fear spawns in the afternoon/evening. I kinda know why, it’s mostly boredom. I don’t have enough distractions so I start overthinking, or at least thats how it started. Now it feels like it’s built into my body’s clock. Something has to change so I can stop this from happening. 

I still feel bad about tonight. I wish I could have kept my cool and spent time with people I like. Looking back it seems like it should have been easy. But I know how I felt at the time. I felt really bad. I just hope my friends actually understand and aren’t silently frustrated with me. I want to stop this behavior of mine. I’m trying very hard to do something about it. 

[bangtanintotheroom]

Neck and Neck (M)

The night's almost done, but I see your eyes You wanna go again, girl, I'll go again

• Pairing: Underground Rapper!Yoongi x Underground Rapper!(F)Reader

• Genre: Smut, Enemies to Lovers

• Rating: 18+

• Words: 10.9k

• Summary: This battle wasn’t over yet, not by a long shot.

• Warnings/themes: verbal foreplay, “footsies” 😏, Namjoon is clueless lol, reader is a bit of a brat still, swearing, dom!Yoongi, dirty talk, degradation, usage of sl*t, taunting, oral (m. and f. receiving), face-fucking, deep throating, hair pulling, ripping panties, fingering, pussy slapping, riding, scratching, biting, choking, spanking, protected sex (keep that rubber on, folks), rough sex, lowkey hate sex, sleepy Yoongi 🥺, these two are competitive af

• Notes: Y’all wanted a follow up to Sore Loser so here it is 😏 The thought had been floating in my head and of course, a couple of people encouraged me to do this soooo 😶 Expect this to be rough as hell, the last part was only a hint of what’s coming. So now I must say a special prayer for @sunshinerainbowsbts​ because I don’t know if she’ll survive after this 🙏🏾 Shoutout to the wonderful @jeonjcngkook​ for beta’ing AGAIN how could you come back after I tortured you with 37k ilyilyily 😭💖 Also, I’m happy this happened to fall around a special someone’s birthday! Happy birthday, Yoongs! 🥳💝

• Song Inspo: Often - The Weeknd (Spotify | Soundcloud)

• Taglist: @sunshinerainbowsbts​ @exileoflove​ @sugalaritae​

Masterlist | Sore Loser | Neck and Neck

One thing that Yoongi always prided himself on was his discipline and self-control when it came to things he wanted.

But you had been pushing his limits since you all sat down to eat.

Namjoon had been surprised to see you trailing behind his friend when they met up, knowing that the two of you weren’t on the best terms. His jaw nearly dropped when Yoongi had asked if it was fine for you to tag along for dinner. He was about to ask if he was joking until the other gave him a look that screamed ‘don’t ask questions, just say yes or I’ll kill you’.

So now the three of you sat in front of a grill at Spice, the atmosphere a little awkward despite the lively music and surrounding chatter.

“So, uh, Y/N—“ You looked up from your menu at Namjoon, a sheepish expression on his face. “First time here?”

“Nah, I’ve been here a few times with some friends.”

“O-Oh, well, that’s good! There’s so many options, I was worried you’d get overwhelmed.”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Don’t worry, I already know what I’m gonna get, just figuring out what I’m drinking tonight.”

Yoongi cut in, raising a brow. “I hope you have money on you.”

You weren’t fazed by his bluntness but Namjoon smacked his friend upside the head. “Come on man, don’t be rude, you were the one who invited her out. The least you could do is buy her drinks.”

Yoongi scowled at him, both at the swat and the fact that he was right. “Yeah but if she orders that expensive ass sake, she can forget about it.”

Just as Namjoon was about to scold him again, you giggled and waved to get their attention. “Relax, RM. Thanks for the offer but I’m a big girl, I can pay for myself.”

“Hmm…if you say so.”

“Really, don’t stress—“ You tilted your head at the mint-haired man. “He’ll make it up to me in some other way, right?”

At quick glance, your teasing seemed playful but Yoongi saw that spark in your eyes that was anything but innocent. Huffing a short laugh, he reached for his water glass. “Yeah, whatever.”

A waiter stopped by a few minutes later to take everyone’s order (Yoongi made sure to order extra kimchi while smirking at Namjoon). As soon as the food arrived, you grinned at the sight of the meats and veggies. You reached for one of the tongs only to find your fingers brushing against Yoongi’s, causing you to freeze. Your eyes stayed locked onto those appendages, mind wandering off as you remembered how good they felt inside you earlier. It took a few seconds before you came to your senses, looking up at him with a raised brow.

“What are you doing?”

“Going on cooking duty, what does it look like?”

“I can help, you know.”

Yoongi scoffed. “And let you burn the food? No thanks.”

You scowled. “I can cook, let me help!”

He pursed his lips at your stubbornness, giving your hand a tap with his index finger. “Relax, rookie, I got it. Besides—” That damn smirk came back. “Consider it a thank you.”

Your eyes darted to Namjoon, glad to see that he was occupied with figuring out what sauce to put on his short rib.

“Pft, if you say so.”

You were glad that Yoongi insisted on taking over, everything he had cooked came out perfectly (he had to step in between you and Namjoon when you both reached for the last piece of curry chicken and glared at each other). To your shock, the two ordered a few more servings of food for the hot pot, making you swallow hard as you debated on filling your stuffed stomach up more. You decided to give it a shot but wanted to digest first.

So you chose to start up a conversation with the guys.

“What’d you guys think of the show tonight?”

Namjoon finished slurping up his noodles while Yoongi stiffened visibly. “I thought it was great! The others were on their A-game as usual but you really surprised me, Y/N.”

You blinked. “Oh? How come?”

“For such a newcomer, you held your own throughout the night. And taking down this guy here?” He shot you a dimpled smile. “You’ve got some serious talent, kid.”

You couldn’t help the way your face warmed at having one of the vets compliment you. “Thanks, RM. Be careful though, your friend is still pretty sore about losing.”

Namjoon scoffed. “Whatever, he needed to be knocked down a peg, he’s been getting too cocky lately.”

Yoongi grumbled and elbowed his friend hard. “Fuck you, man, I’m right here.”

“I know and I’ll say it again in case you didn’t hear me the first time.”

You laughed at how Namjoon narrowly avoided a smack upside the head. It amused you how bothered Yoongi still was at the loss, an almost pouty expression on his handsome face. This led to you getting an idea, hiding your devilish grin behind your sip of water.

“I don’t talk shit to you when you get your ass–”

Yoongi stopped abruptly as he felt something brushing against his leg, eyes darting to you in shock. 

“When I get my ass what?”

He ripped his gaze from you to look at Namjoon’s face, a brow raised at the sudden interruption.

“When you get your ass beat to hell and back and come crying to me.”

Namjoon scowled. “You must have a selective memory, you’ve done it more than once, asshole.”

Yoongi was ready to fire off again until he felt your foot climbing up his leg, the side of your shoe now pressing into his inner thigh. Sliding his hand down, he gripped onto your ankle, trying to push your foot off but failing. You were stronger than you looked.

Rolling his eyes at his friend, he let go of you but not before shooting you a warning look. 

You didn't listen of course, waiting until Yoongi picked up the hot pot ladle before returning your foot to its previous place, biting back a grin as you reached for your bowl. He gave you a harsher look this time, not fooled by the innocent gaze as you held it out.

“Mind pouring me some?”

He didn’t want to look like an asshole in front of Namjoon so he begrudgingly nodded, dipping the ladle into the broth and gathering up some of the meat before bringing it up. But just as he was about to pour it, Yoongi jolted as the tip of your shoe brushed against his crotch, causing some of the liquid to slosh out and splatter a bit.

“Hey man, watch it!”

You had to do your best not to bust out laughing at the miffed look Namjoon shot at his friend. 

“S-Sorry…hand nearly slipped.”

The other rapper sighed and shook his head, murmuring something about not letting Yoongi order any more whiskey. Little did he know that the liquor had nothing to do with the blunder. 

“Careful Suga, you could’ve burned yourself!”

A pleasant tingle went down your spine at the heated gaze the other gave you, the tips of his ears turning red. “Thanks for your concern.”

Nodding, you motioned Yoongi to continue adding to your bowl, shooting him a guilt-free smile before digging in. He hoped that you would ease up with the foot games but you would not leave him alone. There were too many times that he almost choked on a noodle or let out a grunt as he felt his cock start to awaken. He would have reached down and pushed your foot off again but Namjoon chose that moment to start a deep conversation with the two of you about next week’s shows. His eyes were on him too often to get away with moving his hand constantly.

Eventually, Yoongi had to excuse himself, speed-walking to the bathroom to get under control. Why did he choose to wear leather pants tonight?

He didn’t know mercy until the bill was paid and the three of you walked out of the restaurant, praying that he adjusted himself enough on his second bathroom trip.

“Wow, can’t remember the last time I ate that much, how do you guys make it look so easy?”

Namjoon shot you a proud smile, pointing to himself with a thumb. “We’re grown men, we need to keep our strength up!”

You sighed wistfully. “Ah, to be able to burn all those calories off with minimal effort. I feel like I’m going to need to go on a long run tomorrow.”

Yoongi had to bite his tongue to keep himself from suggesting another way that you could burn the calories off.

“Pft, you’ll be fine, kid. Thanks for coming out with us, we should do this more often.”

“You can thank your friend here, he was the one who invited me in the first place!”

Yoongi shrugged when you both looked at him. “Consider it a celebration for beating my ass.”

You chuckled, reaching out and patting him on the back (a surge of wickedness came at the way he tensed from the touch). “Thanks Suga.”

Namjoon let out a yawn, looking down at his watch right after. “Damn, I didn't realize how late it was. You gonna be alright getting home, Y/N?”

“Yeah, I’ll manage. I live in Hongdae so the ride’s not too long.”

“You take the all stop line?”

You looked up at Yoongi. “Yeah, what about you?”

“Same one, I’m over in Yeonnam-dong.”

A sound of wonder left you. “Wow, to think you’ve only been a few minutes away from me. Maybe you can invite me over for some practice cyphers one day.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes. “Oh sure, let me give you more ammo to take me down.”

You and Namjoon laughed at his expense once more, finally deciding to split off afterwards. Yoongi walked with you to the nearby train station, the two of you silent until you both hit the platform.

“Are you really going to let me go home by myself?”

The man next to you turned his head to see you facing him now, your arms crossed and your hip cocked out to the side. 

“Hmph, maybe I should, especially after your little stunt.”

You weren’t fazed at his threat, seeing the faint greed in his dark brown eyes. “Oh please, drop the tough guy act.” Your lips curled into a sensuous smirk. “You know you still want me, baby.”

Seeing your eyes drop down to his crotch for a split second, Yoongi felt his cock twitch in response, flicking his tongue over his lips. “Do I?”

You stepped closer, leaving only a few inches between your chests as you whispered, “You do.”

The two of you stared at each other, refusing to back down until the sound of the train started getting closer. The corner of Yoongi’s mouth tilted. “Rookie, do you know what you’re getting into?”

“Isn’t it a little late for that, Suga? I made up my mind backstage hours ago–” A finger came up and poked his chest, your nail digging into the fabric. “So now you need to make up your mind.”

The train was about to arrive, leaving Yoongi with only a few seconds to decide.

“...Fine. But let’s go to my place.”

A bright smile stretched on your face. “Sounds like a plan.”

The train ride was torture for the both of you, despite the short distance. Neither of you spoke but your eyes flickered to each other multiple times, thinking of just what was going to happen once you got to Yoongi’s apartment. The tension remained thick throughout the rest of the journey, increasing as his building came in view. He unlocked his door and motioned you to enter first with a nod of his head. 

You didn’t even get a chance to take in the environment as Yoongi pounced on you the second your shoes were off. He pinned you to the wall next to his front door, those cat-like eyes narrowed and swirling with lust and ire.

“You’re a brat, you know that?”

You held back a smile as you looked at him with confusion. “Oh, am I?”

“Yeah, you are.” Leaning in, he hovered his face in front of yours, his hot breath washing over your lips as he purred. “Getting me all worked up under the table. You know how hard it is to hide a boner in leather pants?”

“Mm, must have been difficult, I'm sure I could still see it on the train.”

A growl was all you got before his lips smashed onto yours, taking away your ability to breathe properly. The intensity from earlier was nothing compared to what he was giving you now, all of the contempt from the last few months coming to the surface. Yoongi forced his tongue into your mouth, lashing against your own with authority. A moan escaped you at the dominance, bucking your hips against the prominence in his pants. At the contact, he pulled his lips off of you, huffing softly.

“Look at you, rutting against me like I didn’t just fuck you less than three hours ago.”

You gave the man a pointed look. “Maybe because you didn’t satisfy me enough, Suga.”

In a split second, his large hand came up to wrap around your throat, making your breath catch as he gave you a heated glare. “First of all, don’t try to play it off like you weren’t squeezing me every moment, brat. Second, you’re not going to be calling me by my stage name in my own house.”

He wasn’t pressing down on your airway so you were able to respond. “So what should I call you then, hm?”

“Yoongi.”

“Yoongi…” You said it like you were rolling it along your tongue, getting a feel for the name. “I see.”

“Get used to it, doll—“ He leaned in to shoot you a sinful smirk. “Because you’re going to be screaming it for the rest of the night.”

Before you could say anything else, Yoongi reattached his mouth to yours. You were sure the two of you were going to have bruised lips in the morning but that was the least of your concerns right now. You managed to hold your own against his aggressiveness, your panties getting wetter by the minute. Wanting to take this further, you thrusted harder against his hips, feeling his mouth pause, allowing you to pull away and pant roughly, “Are you going to just make out with me or are you going to actually fuck me?”

Yoongi laughed, rubbing his thumb over the front of your throat. “That mouth is still running, huh?”

You swallowed instinctively at the touch, keeping your stare cool and collected. “You’re not a mind reader, how am I supposed to let you know what I want?”

“Hmph, true, but you’re starting to kill my buzz here, baby.”

Teeth flashing at him, you looked up at him through your lashes. “But I thought you liked my mouth, Yoongi?”

He rolled his eyes. “I never said I did earlier.”

“Oh, you didn’t have to. I could see the look on your face when your cock was inside it.”

Yoongi hoped you didn’t see the tips of his ears turning red at your call out. “So?”

You smirked and leaned in to purr in his ear. “So you want more, don’t you?”

With your offer, he licked his lips at the thought of having that big mouth of yours wrapped around him again. Making up his mind, he stepped back and grabbed your wrist, dragging you further into the apartment to enter his bedroom. You couldn’t help but look around in curiosity, despite the circumstances, only to remember what you were here for when you heard the door shut behind you. Turning, you smirked at Yoongi as he stalked towards you. 

“I’m guessing that’s a yes?”

He chuckled and reached a hand up to hold your chin, tilting his head mockingly. “What do you think, brat?”

You giggled. “How do you want me?”

He let go and motioned with his head. “Sit on the bed.”

Grinning, you backed up to perch yourself on the edge of the bed. You shucked your jacket off to toss it on the floor, looking up after to see Yoongi doing the same with his own. He walked closer, raising a brow when he saw you lean back on your arms. “Don’t get too comfortable, Y/N.”

“Aw, why not? Your bed feels so soft.”

Tsking, the man reached down to straighten you up by your shoulders. You shot him a pout that quickly fell once you saw him begin to undo his belt. His teeth flashed in a devious smirk at the expression while his hands moved.

“Gonna fuck that pretty mouth of yours, doll. Didn’t spend enough time in it earlier.”

Your lip caught in your teeth, nodding slowly as you continued watching him. Soon enough, Yoongi got his pants undone, shoving them down with his underwear to gather around his thighs and reveal his dick. Your mouth began watering at the sight of him, able to get a much more thorough look than earlier. Just looking at the girth had you aching to feel it rubbing against your walls once more.

“Hey.”

Looking up, you saw Yoongi wrap a hand around himself, lifting his other one up to curl his index finger towards him. You wasted no time in scooting closer to him, being met with the reddened tip of his cock in front of your face. 

“Go on.”

With his curt command, you scowled lightly, batting his hand away before replacing it with your own. You ignored how he chuckled at your attitude, leaning forward to lap at the head. That grin on his face began ebbing away the longer you did this, making way to an expression of lust.

“Mm…”

You kept eye contact with him, angling his cock upwards so you could run your tongue along the underside, laughing softly at the hiss that escaped him. 

“Fucking tease…”

“You know you like it, baby.”

Yoongi rolled his eyes, bucking into your hand while he tangled his fingers into your locks, pushing your head a bit. “Stop messing around.”

Not ready to give in just yet, you batted your lashes up at him, stroking slowly with your hand. “What’s the magic word?”

A growl left his mouth. “Y/N…”

“That’s my name, don’t wear it out.”

His nostrils flared at your stubbornness. “You little…please.”

“Please…?”

He could have been sleeping instead of dealing with this crap right now. “…please get my dick in your mouth.”

You grinned deviously, throwing in a wink. “See? That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

Just as he was about to throw out another profanity, you stopped your hand at the base and began taking him in, stopping a little over halfway down. Yoongi’s breath caught as his tip was close to hitting the back of your throat, fighting the urge to start pounding away. Taking a moment to control himself, he let out a low groan as you pulled back, keeping only the head in your mouth before you slid back down, starting a steady rhythm close to the one from earlier. Yoongi took his bottom lip in, watching as you bobbed while your eyes locked onto his own.

“Fuck, that’s it…”

Your eyelids fluttered at his mumbled praise, grateful that you could take your time with the man in front of you now. Those quiet groans he had let out back in the dressing room earlier in the night weren’t enough to satiate your desire. That’s not to say Yoongi was a noisy man when it came to vocalizing his pleasure, opting for expressing in a more physical way. From his fingers tightening in your hair to slight jerks of his hips, he made it clear that he was happy to spend more time in your mouth.

“Damn, baby—”

Your lips stretched as a rougher tone escaped Yoongi when you gave a squeeze with your hand. Opting to give him a bit of a show now, you moved your head back until the tip was the only part in your mouth. You wrapped your other hand around the rest of his cock, only giving him a wink before you began twisting both of them around his shaft, forcing him to take in a sharp breath. That breath then came out as a lust-filled profanity the second you started sucking hard.

“Oh fuck--! Jesus…”

Yoongi had to keep himself from pulling strands out by accident as the grip in your hair significantly tightens, thanks to your little move. He wanted to tip his head back and just let you continue working his length over until he filled that mouth of yours up with his load but he had other plans for you. Grunting at a strong jolt of bliss, he bucked towards you while practically snarling, “Slow down, rookie, gotta fuck that mouth before you make me come…”

Looking a bit put-off that he wouldn’t let you continue, you obliged and removed your slick fingers before raising a brow up at him, the expression on your face screaming ‘what are you waiting for?’. Smiling crookedly, Yoongi pushed your head down until he ended up halfway in once more. Wasting no time, he eased himself in and out with harsh thrusts, grunting all the while.

“Shit, doll…you look so good with my cock in there—”

The vibrations from your giggle were felt around his length, sending a shiver down his spine.

“Mnh— Of course you’re enjoying this, bet this is what you were thinking about when we were on stage, hm?”

At that, your eyelids fluttered. Yoongi noticed and barked out a short laugh, giving your hair another slight tug.

“Wow, you’ve got no shame, huh? What would everyone else say if they knew that’s what their beloved Y/N wanted? To suck off the champ in front of that big-ass crowd?”

His taunting brought embarrassment painted with arousal to you, your face heating up as he continued directing that infuriating smirk down at you. You never thought in a million years that you would admit that something so lewd had run through your mind as you watched your senior spit out rapid-fire words just a foot away from you. But could you be blamed? The way his feline eyes would bore into yours with sheer determination and contempt almost ruined your concentration and flow. Seeing those large, veiny hands of his grip onto the mic had you wondering how they would feel on your body. And catching his tongue running over those pouty lips of his?

You nearly blurted how you wanted him to shove the pink muscle down your throat between verses.

Yoongi’s feral grin only expanded as you let your thoughts show on your face. “Rookie, I’m flattered, really. It’s kind of cute how you’ve been so nasty to hide how much you want me—Hah!”

Tired of his mocking, you took it upon yourself to shut him up by sliding your head down until nothing was left out, your nose pressed against his pubic bone.

“Y/N—”

A grin formed around his cock at how he lost his nerve. Your eyes zeroed in on the way his pale neck was exposed to you as his head was thrown back, the Adam’s apple bobbing under the slowly reddening skin. Now you decided to torture him by swallowing around the portion of him that was in your throat. Yoongi didn’t seem to appreciate that as a growl left him before his fist tugged harder, making you wince as he pulled you off of his dick, standing upright and dripping with spit now. As you caught your breath, he pushed your head back as he leaned down, a sneer painted on his flushed face.

“Are you fucking crazy?”

A humored scoff came out of your puffy lips. “I should be asking you that. Why’d you stop me?” You gave him a cheeky smile. “Was sugar baby going to come already?”

His scowl darkened his face further, giving you the answer you needed.

“Oh wow, you were! Damn dude, I know guys usually don’t last long when I do that but—”

Yoongi interrupted your teasing by slamming his mouth onto yours, making the thin skin even more sore than before. His tongue forced its way in to fight against yours, not giving you a chance to come out on top, groaning quietly at the slight saltiness from having him inside just now. He made your odds worse with his iron hold on your hair and the way he had your head angled back, causing your neck to start cramping at the unusual position. Thankfully, he broke the kiss but kept up his control by staring deep into your heavy eyes with animosity and hunger.

“Shut the hell up, rookie. What did I tell you about calling me that?”

“Mm, you only said not to call you by your stage name, you didn’t say anything about nicknames.”

Yoongi growled, reaching up with his free hand to wrap around your neck, wiping the smugness off your face to replace it with surprise. “Getting real tired of this fucking mouth of yours. Guess I need to shut it up some other way, huh?”

The danger lingering in his voice only served to increase the arousal soaking your panties, wanting to push him into the scenario he was offering. You were probably going to regret this in the morning by having to deal with marked skin and sore hips but fuck it.

With your tongue lazily creeping out, you licked up the saliva that had crept past your lips, looking at how his dark eyes followed the appendage. “I guess you’ll have to.”

Your approval brought an almost feral smirk onto Yoongi’s face as he released his hands from you, moving them down to grab onto the underside of your ass. You squeaked as he lifted you off the bed all of a sudden before tossing you onto your back, causing you to bounce as you landed further up. Yoongi shoved his garments down the rest of the way to kick them off, leaving his lower half completely bare. He crawled up onto the mattress, eyeing you like a rabid lion sneaking up on a poor gazelle, ready to go through on his promise. It took everything in your being not to shift under his gaze.

The second he reached you, Yoongi brought his hands up to rest on your clothed breasts, beginning to grope them roughly, chuckling lowly at how you held back your moans yet arched your back.

“Don’t do that, doll—” A hard squeeze gave him a sharp gasp. “Wanna hear every sound out of that big mouth of yours.”

“Mnh—”

You did your best to fight against every noise that wanted to escape but those fucking hands of his were ruining your resolve. If you weren’t watching the avid expression on his face, you were watching the way the veins popped whenever those long fingers flexed on the mounds. You then felt his hands traveling down to the hem of your cropped shirt, gripping the fabric before sliding it upwards, leaving you to sit up quickly so he could tug it off. Tossing it off to the side, Yoongi’s dark eyes lingered on the tops of your breasts peeking over your bra. Just as you were about to taunt him for gawking, he brought his hands up to hold onto the cups, tugging them down to expose you. The air hitting your skin made your nipples harden, pulling a low groan from him as he bent his head down to latch his plump lips onto one of them.

“A-Ah…”

Yoongi quickly began lapping at the bud with his tongue, heightening the sensitivity before his teeth brushed against it, ripping a cry from your throat. Smirking against your skin, he returned to using his tongue again until he felt your body relaxing underneath his, only to throw you for a loop by giving a hard suck, feeling your hand dart up to grip his mint-colored strands.

“Oh goddammit, Yoongi—”

Wanting to push you even further, he brought his hand up to grip onto your other breast, playing with the flesh while pinching and pulling hard at the nipple, savoring the needy whines falling from your lips. Once he got his fill, he slid that same hand around your torso to fumble with the clasps of your bra, pulling his mouth away to slide it off once it was undone. Letting it join your shirt, Yoongi returned to your tits, now choosing to lay bites all over the flesh. You wouldn’t be surprised if you found evidence on your body in the morning with how hard he was digging his teeth into your skin.

Yoongi pulled back, licking his lips in satisfaction at the budding marks before he moved down to your stomach, eyes staying steady on your flustered face. His mouth reached the butterfly-shaped charm hanging from your navel, taking the jewelry between his teeth to give it a slight tug, loving how you gasped and arched your back in response.

“O-Oh--!” When Yoongi pulled off, you scowled down at him, despite your aroused expression. “That hurt, asshole.”

He chuckled. “Did it? It seems like you enjoyed that, baby.”

Grumbling as you felt your face heat up more, you were ready to retort until his hands landed on your pants, quickly getting them undone before dragging them down and off your legs. Now you were just left in your lacy thong, smirking at how Yoongi eyed your clothed center with hunger. You brought one of your feet up to brush your toes against the side of his bare thigh, giggling at how he jumped at the sudden contact.

“Come on, Yoongi. Are you gonna keep staring me down or are you actually going to do something?”

Shooting you yet another unamused look, the man in front of you gave your own thigh a slap, making you gasp sharply. “Shut it.”

“Mnh– Ow.”

Yoongi scoffed at your attempt at pain. “Don’t act like you’re not enjoying this, Y/N. I bet if I took these off–” His long fingers ran over the flimsy fabric. “Your pussy would be soaking wet right now, hm?”

You did your best not to show the surge of desire on your face at his words, opting to roll your eyes instead. “Whatever.”

This didn’t sit well with Yoongi as he growled before delivering a swat between your thighs, ripping a cry from your throat at the rush of pleasure mixed with discomfort. “Try again.”

“Y-Yoongi, what the hell?!”

Another slap came, your hips jerking in response. “Answer me.”

“Fuck— You’re crazy…”

Yoongi puffed air out of his nostrils, starting to hit his limit with your defiant attitude. His other hand took its place around your neck, giving a light squeeze while he gripped your mound, making your breath hitch as some of your air was cut off while a shock went up your spine. Those dark brown eyes of his were narrowed, piercing into your own with rigidity. 

“Stop acting like you’re above all of this, brat. I only gave you a taste of what I could do back in the dressing room and you were being so needy then. You must be in fucking heaven right now, having me manhandle you like this, huh?” His teeth flashed as your eyes looked away in mortification, unable to hold back anymore. “...I knew it.”

You did your best to ignore the burning in your face at him putting you on blast, looking directly into his eyes now. “So what if I do? You’re not the first guy to be rough with me, Yoongi.”

Even the way you spit his name with venom couldn’t wipe that aggravating smirk off his handsome face.

“Oh, I’m sure. But after I’m done with you–” He leaned his head in to bump noses, husking out over your swollen lips. “No one else is going to compare.”

Your self-control was nearly dissolved now, thanks to him. That confidence he exuded on stage clearly wasn’t limited to just the mic; it almost scared you just what he was going to do to go through on his promise.

Good.

Swallowing the spit that had been gathering in your mouth, you scowled at Yoongi, pushing your hips into his lower hand. “Are you gonna do it or are you just gonna keep talking shit, sugar baby?”

With the spiteful delivery of the beloved nickname, Yoongi moved his fingers to creep into the top of your panties, dipping the tips in enough to hold onto the lace. All of a sudden, his hand flexed into a tight grip.

Then the sound of ripping filled the air before you felt coolness on your heated center.

“Y-Yoongi!”

At your stuttered gasp, the man looked up at you with heavy eyes, throwing the ruined scrap of fabric off to the side. “I’ll buy you new ones, relax.”

Before you could even berate him for destroying your underwear, Yoongi placed his hands under your thighs, pushing your legs back and to the side, exposing the area between them further. The sight pulled a growl from the other’s chest, eyeing the drenched folds with fervor.

“Look at this pretty little cunt, ready to get destroyed. Told you you were fucking dripping for me.”

The sheer ferociousness in his delivery made your breath catch. Now you were really in for it.

Yoongi pushed on your thighs until you were forced to lay back all the way, lifting your head up to watch with anticipation as he lowered his face down. But rather than dive straight into where you wanted him to go, he latched his plump lips onto your inner thigh, giving the sensitive skin a hard suck before nipping it with his teeth.

“Y-Yoongi…”

Ignoring your plea, he continued attacking multiple areas of the flesh, your patience running thin the closer he got to the apex of your thighs.

“Dammit Yoongi, hurry up…”

Yoongi slapped your other thigh with swiftness, shooting you a side glance before pulling his lips off to mumble out, “Be. Quiet.”

You huffed, ready to rush him again until he descended to latch his mouth onto your sensitive clit, giving a hard suck that forced a shriek out of you.

“Fuck–!”

Another swat was delivered to your leg, Yoongi pulling his head up to shoot you a warning glare. “Not so loud, rookie, I’m not trying to get noise complaints.”

“How the hell do you expect me to– Mnh–!”

You were compelled to slap a hand over your mouth to muffle your noises, thanks to the devil between your thighs sucking your nub once more. He began flicking the tip of his tongue over it now, cat-like eyes zeroed in on the way you were reacting. Your back arched into a curve, stiff nipples aiming towards the ceiling while you gripped onto the sheets with your free hand for dear life. 

Just what he liked to see.

Yoongi decided to have mercy on your clit and moved down to lick up whatever arousal smeared around before going to lap at your folds, grunting at the taste. “Fuck…didn’t think someone so spoiled could taste so sweet.”

Of course your cheeks heated up at the compliment. But you didn’t have time to savor it as he delved his tongue between, parting them to run over the smooth area with pressure. The obscene sounds emitting from the action traveled up to your ears, causing your pussy to leak some more wetness out for him. Yoongi seemed to appreciate it as a snarl vibrated against you.

“So fucking filthy–”

You couldn’t hold back anymore, choosing to give in and buck your hips against his face. But he wouldn’t give you the satisfaction of moving, strong hands coming up to pin them down to the mattress, making you whine. “Stay still, rookie.”

“Yoongi…”

Raising a brow as you complained louder, he moved back further, bringing a hand up to rest on your thigh. “Y/N–,” Said hand went to deliver a light slap to your wet folds, ripping a sharp cry from your lips. “I said stay still.”

Now you were trembling from the shocks of having his swat make contact with your sensitive skin, biting back a whimper as he rested his forearm across your hips to keep them steady. Seeing that you weren’t going to fight him anymore, Yoongi lowered his head once more to lick at you, blocking your view of his facial expressions. It was alright for now as this allowed you to focus more on the sensations of his mouth working you over. You’ve had your pussy eaten before but none of those experiences were living up to how the man below was consuming you. Ferocity laced his actions, lapping at your wetness like he was a man starved. There was no pause in the way he let his tongue and lips explore you, almost as if this was just another part of his daily routine.

You wished he could stay down there for the rest of the night, making you come over and over until you were nothing but a boneless mess on his bed.

As if he had read your mind, Yoongi slid his free hand up under his chin to press his pointer finger to your entrance, grunting at the way it clenched from his touch. Pulling off, he husked, “Want it, baby?”

“Shit…please, put it in–”

Nodding, the mint-haired man watched your face close as he slid the digit in, licking his coated lips at the way your mouth fell slack and your lids fluttered, a drawn-out moan leaving your mouth. 

“Damn rookie, it’s only my finger and yet you’re gripping me so tight…”

“Sh-Shut up…” 

Giving you a gummy smile at your flustered reaction, Yoongi chuckled before curling his finger, feeling against your walls until he brushed against the spongy area that made you freeze. He didn’t give you a warning, choosing to pump into it with unrestraint.

“Fuck–!”

His free hand pulled off your hips to smack your thigh, growling in warning, “I told you to keep it down, didn’t I?”

You bared your teeth at Yoongi, torn between kicking him or pushing his head back down. “Fuck you, asshole! You can’t just do that and not think I won’t–”

Your ranting was interrupted by a hand wrapping around your throat once more, pushing your head back into the bed, breathing halting when you saw Yoongi’s face hover over yours, hostility hardening his soft features.

“Rookie.” Just the way he said the nickname had your stomach dropping and your pussy clenching.

His finger slipped out of you but you were unable to whine with how much he was pushing on your neck. “If I tell you–” A smack hit your slick folds. “To be quiet–” Another one. “What does that mean?”

A harsher swat was able to pull a cry from your constricted throat, hips jolting. “I-I…”

“Answer me.”

A quiver ran through you at his command, doing your best to rasp out to avoid angering him further. “I-It means be quiet…”

Yoongi rewarded you with another slap, focusing on your clit this time; it took all your might not to scream at the two different aches that resulted from the contact.

“Exactly. I know you don’t like to follow directions but you’re not dumb, right?” You shook your head, making him smirk deviously. “Thought so. So don’t play stupid with me, slut.”

The derogatory name leaving his lips surprised you but left you shamefully more turned on than before, hitting something dark in you that wanted to hear more.

“Don’t…” You couldn’t even meet his eyes as you protested weakly. “Don’t call me that…”

Yoongi tilted his head. “Oh? You don’t like that, baby? Don’t like me stating the obvious?”

You reached a hand up to grip onto his wrist, gathering up whatever nerve you had left and managing to lock your gaze with him. “You think I let anyone else treat me like this?”

“I don’t know, do you?”

A snarl left you. “I don’t. Be lucky your dickheaded self has special privileges. If you were any other man, I would have knocked you out by now.”

Slight surprise came onto Yoongi’s face at your admission. “So why am I an exception, Y/N? Are you in love with me or something?”

His taunting only made your face heat up more and your irritation grow, digging your acrylics into his skin, taking joy in the way he winced. “What are you, a fucking psychiatrist? Either go back down on me or fuck me, Yoongi, or else my ass is leaving.”

With your threat, Yoongi’s shock disappeared, morphing into a look of apathy. “You know you won’t leave, Y/N, unless–” There went that infuriating smile again. “You don’t think you can handle me?”

A laugh came out. “I should be asking you that, baby. Maybe you won’t be able to handle me and I’ll have to tell everyone how the champ got taken down on stage and in bed.”

You were playing with fire by bringing up what started this whole mess in the first place but at this point, you were too far gone to care. It didn’t help that the ferocity in Yoongi’s eyes returned in full force at the reminder, sending a pleasant chill down your spine. Even as his grip on your neck tightened, you grinned at his low voice rasping out, “Is that so? Then I’d have to tell everyone how the rookie let me fuck her twice in one night because she’s such a greedy little slut for me.”

Lids lowering, you batted your eyelashes at him. “Then I guess we should keep this going and keep our mouths shut, hm?”

Yoongi gave a short laugh, sliding his hand around to hold the back of your neck now. “Finally, something we can agree on.”

He only let you giggle for a second before he pulled you in for a hard kiss, grunting when you moaned against him at the way his tongue invaded your mouth, the taste of your arousal now on your tastebuds. You were able to tangle your own with his for a minute until he pulled you away, letting go to grab the hem of his t-shirt, tugging it off to throw it on the ground. Your eyes traveled over his now bare body, appreciating the slight tone of his torso and the way his cock stood stiff, the head wet and flushed red. 

Yoongi crawled off the bed to walk over and rummage through his nightstand, pulling out a condom. Before he could open the packet, you swiped it from his fingers.

“Hey!”

“Shush, let me do it.”

Grumbling, he let it slide, listening to the way his dick screamed for him to shut up and let you take over so it could get some attention. He watched as you ripped the foil open, tossing it to the floor before beginning to slide the rubber onto his length, twitching as your fingers brushed against his heated skin. Thankfully, you didn’t tease him at the reaction, removing your hands as soon as he was completely covered. But then you pointed to the bed.

“Lie down.”

“...excuse me?”

You raised a brow. “I said, lie down.”

Yoongi scoffed in disbelief. “What do you think this is? Who said you can boss me around in my own place?”

Air puffing out your nostrils at his stubbornness, you grabbed his shoulders. Using all of your strength, you turned him around before pushing him to fall onto the bed, trying not to giggle at the put-upon look on his face from that.

“Y/N, what the hell?”

“Oh, shut up–” You straddled his hips, hovering your own above his cock while your head tilted. “Don’t you want to see me on top for a bit, baby?”

Yoongi really couldn’t say no to that, picturing how your head might lean back in bliss while your breasts bounced and your ass smacked against his thighs. With a roll of his eyes, he crossed his arms behind his head, giving you an indifferent gaze. “Whatever, go nuts. I guess I can kick back since I did most of the work earlier.”

“Ugh, you’re such a dick, you know that?”

That cocky ass smirk returned. “You love it, rookie.”

Rolling your own eyes now, you reached down to grasp his cock, giving it a squeeze to spite him (the grunt he let out made you chuckle) before angling it to brush your entrance. Not wanting to hold off any longer, you began sinking down onto him, struggling to keep your eyes open as he filled you up. 

“Goddammit…”

You swore when you finally got him in all the way, panting harshly. He felt different in this position, stretching you more than when he was behind you earlier. 

“Come on…” Yoongi’s gruff voice commanded you, paired with a buck of his hips. Squeaking at the motion, you narrowed your eyes before splaying your palms on his chest, using the leverage to start lifting your hips up and down. The pleasure you were denied started making a comeback, pulling soft moans from you.

“Mm…yes–”

Underneath you, Yoongi was starting to think that his imagination wasn’t as strong as he thought. Seeing you actually bouncing on his lap was nothing compared to the picture he conjured up in his head. Maybe he could let you ride him all the way if it meant he could come to a view like this. 

“Fuck—“ His tongue flicked out over his lips. “Look at you, riding my dick like an expert—“

You huffed out, “Yeah?”

“Mhm—“ Yoongi gave a crooked grin. “You do this often?”

“None of your—mm— business, baby.”

“Oh? Don’t be shy. You can tell me if I’m not the only one who you’re fucking—“

Yoongi was cut off by your hand around his throat, pushing his head further into the mattress with force. His eyes darted up to see you giving him a smirk, dripping with barely-disguised malice.

“Just shut up and let me fuck you, asshole.”

Although he wished he could taunt you some more, he wasn’t opposed to letting you continue and so, he kept his mouth shut. 

He figured that you would remove your hand from his neck by now but it was still wrapped tight, interfering with his breathing a bit. To his surprise, the feeling wasn’t terrible. If anything, it heightened the sensations of everything else. Yoongi was hoping to keep the discovery to himself until you clamped down on him too tight at one point, forcing a strangled groan from him as his hands came out from under his head to grip onto your hips. 

“Oh shit–”

The sudden noise and action from him caught your attention, blinking at the way his face was screwed up in restrained bliss. Your hand clenched without thinking, bringing a hitch from him and another profanity. Now your brain put two and two together, grinning shrewdly.

“Aww, does someone like getting choked?”

Yoongi refused to meet your eyes, choosing to close his own instead. “Shut up…ngh–!”

A giggle came out at his avoidance. “Wow, who knew the boss would like something like this? I thought you only liked doing it to others, guess I was wrong.”

A feral snarl came from the depths of his chest. “Y/N, shut the fuck up–”

“Or else what?” You squeezed harder, making Yoongi thrust up with more force. “You said you would let me do the work, no? So just lie there like a good sugar baby and let me–”

You forgot yourself as your mouth moved without thinking, not realizing what you had said until Yoongi’s eyes flew open, the almost black irises burning with scorn. Before you could finish your sentence, one of his hands came off your hip to give your ass a harsh slap, wrenching an intense cry from you.

“Fuck–!”

He didn’t hold back on the other side, baring his teeth at how you gripped his dick and dug your nails into his chest in response. 

“What did–” Smack. “I fucking say–” Smack. “About–” Smack. “Calling me–” Smack. “That?”

“Jesus, Yoongi– Ah–!” The swats were bringing a pleasant sting to your skin, making you bury him deep inside before rolling your hips. “You said– mm– Not to call you that.”

The man underneath growled as he gripped a cheek and gave it a shake. “So now you’re just trying to piss me off on purpose.”

You couldn’t help the grin that came onto your face, leaning down closer to his. “Of course, baby–” You licked your puffy lips. “I already told you how fucking hot you are when you’re mad, didn’t I?”

Indeed, you did.

Yoongi scoffed despite the way his cock twitched at the reminder. “I’m starting to think you’re a masochist, Y/N.”

“And what if I am?”

“Then there’s no way this is enough for you right now, is it?” He asked with an expectant look.

You didn’t answer right away, trying to decide how you should go about this. Something was telling you that giving an affirmation would unleash a side of Yoongi that your body just might not be able to handle. But he did have a point. As fun as it was to ride him, you wanted to see how much more he had to give. 

Oh well, you could deal with the consequences in the morning.

“No, it’s not.”

Yoongi flashed his teeth, giving your ass one last hit. “Get off and I’ll take over, doll.”

Ignoring the logical part of your mind telling you that this was a terrible idea, you waited until he removed his hands before climbing off his lap, watching as he stood up now. He bent down and lifted you up, dropping you so you laid flat on your back in the middle of the bed. Pouting up at him from the manhandling, it was quickly wiped off when Yoongi crawled on and took one of your legs, lifting it up to bend and rest on his shoulder.

“H-Hey, what are you–”

“Relax.”

Swallowing hard, you could only watch as he spread your other leg flat on the mattress, opening you up to him completely. Scooting closer, he took his cock in his hand, rubbing the tip against your swollen clit for a few seconds, smirking at the gasp you let out. Just when you started glaring at him, Yoongi angled himself to sink back into you once more, a guttural moan leaving his pouty lips. “Shit…”

You weren’t faring much better, his dick hitting spots in you that it wasn’t before, resulting in whines. Thankfully, he didn’t wait a minute longer to start moving once he made it in all the way, starting up a merciless rhythm that had your body bouncing in time.

“Oh God–! Y-Yoongi–”

“Ngh– This is how you like it, right?”

“Y-Yes, ah!” A deep thrust made you yelp.

Yoongi chuckled deeply, leaning down so you couldn’t look anywhere but his face. “Look at you, practically screaming for my dick. Do you ever sound like this for anyone else?”

It was hard not to shut your eyes, from pleasure or shame, you didn’t know.

“N-No…”

“Hmph, of course. And you know why, right?”

You did. 

“Because…” Might as well go all the way. Your gaze didn’t stray from his as you looked at him with defeat. “Because I’m such a slut for you.”

The gummy smile on his face did not match with what he was doing to you right now. “That’s right, baby, glad to know you’re finally figuring it out.”

Scowling with your cheeks burning, you pulled your upright leg further back, thigh pressing to your torso. “Whatever, Yoongi, just stop messing around.”

The new angle made his breath catch, eyes darkening as he nodded. His free hand went to wrap around your neck once again, giving a light squeeze as he continued pounding into you mercilessly. The room filled with sounds of skin smacking mixed with his grunts and your moans and shrieks. So much for avoiding those noise complaints.

Yoongi kept up the brutal pace, panting harshly as he watched you reacting with intensity to his motions. Your eyes could barely stay open, only able to focus on him when they were. Your skin was drenched with sweat, sticking to his own whenever they touched. Your tits bounced with each thrust, the nipples stiff and begging for attention. He was starting to pat himself on the back for convincing you to let him on top; how could he miss out on a sight like this?

“Goddammit–”

A violent swear came out of you, paired with a strong clench that threw him off for a bit.

“Shit…what is it?”

You croaked out, “I-I’m so close…” One of your hands crawled down your body to begin stroking over your clit, gritting your teeth at how sensitive it was. “Oh fuck, don’t fucking stop, Yoongi–!”

That little display paired with your words brought a sharp pang, cursing lowly as he sped his hips up.

“Damn, doll…you trying to kill me here?”

You couldn’t even respond with your own quips anymore, the pleasure starting to become maddening as you desperately chased your finish. All you could do was lie there and let the man above you help. Soon enough, a familiar tightening began forming in Yoongi’s lower stomach, leading him to focus on arriving at his own end as well.

“Fucking hell– I better feel this little cunt squeezing me soon, baby…”

A nod was all you could give, words failing you as you tightened around him again and again. Yoongi’s mouth fell open, harsh breaths falling out the closer he got to his peak. 

“Y-Yoongi…”

Your breathless gasp caught his attention. He raised a brow, only to swear when a hand came up to wrap around his wrist, pressing his hand a little more on your neck. He gave a nod in understanding, keeping the pressure up, twitching hard at the way your eyes rolled back in response. Within a couple of minutes, Yoongi started feeling the hints of you coming, tongue flicking out to wet his lips.

“Come on, Y/N–”

A broken whimper left you. Yoongi growled and leaned his head down more, baring his teeth in lust and dominance. 

“Fucking come for me right now– Be a good little slut and do it.”

Not long after he grunted out the command did you feel yourself be pushed over the edge, letting out a strangled cry as you shook fiercely underneath him.

“Oh God–! Fuck!”

Yoongi could only enjoy the sight for a few seconds before being forced to still his hips, a guttural groan releasing from his throat as his own orgasm took over his whole body. “Shit–!”

The two of you released various sounds into the room as you both came apart, the tension building up since dinner finally being released. It took some time for the sensations to subside but once they did, you slumped onto the bed. Tipping your head back as Yoongi released your neck, you gasped for much-needed air, still feeling the heat from his hold on your skin. He also lowered your leg back down before choosing to lay his body on top of yours, much to your dismay.

“Hey, get off.”

He grumbled, burying his face into your shoulder. “Quiet, gimme a second.”

You pouted. As nice as his body felt, he was heavy on your exhausted self. “Yoongi.”

“Mmh.” Growling, you moved a hand to swat him on the back of his head. “Ow!”

“Move, you’re fucking heavy!”

Yoongi brought his head up to scowl at you, rolling his eyes before removing himself from you, pulling out in the process. He flopped onto his back next to you, letting out a weary sigh. “Brat.”

“Shut up, dickhead, I’m not your personal mattress.”

He gave a noncommittal grunt, closing his eyes to get his bearings together. You took this chance to sit up and look him over. His fair skin was covered in sweat, tinted red in the fleshier sections but mainly on his chest where your nails had raked over. His mint-colored hair was in disarray, the bangs sticking to his damp forehead and exposing his furrowed brows. And lower down…

“You gonna take that off or not?”

Yoongi’s eyes cracked open, peeking at you. “Hm?”

Shaking your head, you pointed down at the soiled condom still sitting on his softening dick.

“Oh. Yeah, hold on.”

Forcing himself to sit up, Yoongi stood and walked to his bedroom door, opening it before disappearing into the hall. He returned after a minute, giving a flourish of his hands with a deadpan expression. “Ta da.”

You chuckled, shaking your head. “Idiot.”

Yoongi smirked lightly at that before it fell off. Now the room was silent as the two of you stared at each other, the atmosphere a little awkward now that the sex was over.

“Um…”

His head tilted at your soft sound. “Yeah?”

“You, uh, mind if I use your shower?”

“Oh. Uh, no, go ahead.” Motioning you to follow him, Yoongi waited until you got up. He almost ran forward when he saw you wobble for a second but was waved off when you steadied yourself. He headed back out to the hallway with you in tow, leading you into the bathroom at the end. Flicking the light on, he held his hand out to the shower. “Use whatever you need, towels are above the toilet.”

You nodded. “Thanks…”

There goes the silence again. And the staring. Jesus. Why did you have to look up at him like that? But why was he still standing here? You couldn’t bathe with him there, obviously. Before he could step out, Yoongi found his mouth working without thinking.

“Are you…are you alright, after all that?”

His words brought you out of your trance, blinking rapidly as you scrambled for an answer. “O-Oh! Yeah, I am. I told you, I’m used to the rough stuff.”

Even with the way your chest puffed out, Yoongi couldn’t stop his damn mouth again. “Are you sure? You don’t have to lie if you aren’t, my ego isn’t so fragile that I–”

A hand came up and clamped over his lips, eyes widening as he looked down into your amused face. 

“Relax, dude. Trust me, if I didn’t like any of that, I would have been gone or your ass would have been out cold on the floor.” With that, a sense of ease came over Yoongi, leading him to nod. You removed your hand, only to pat one of his cheeks with a giggle (earning a pout). “Now get out of here so I can get clean, I’ve got work in the morning.”

Of course he had to say something smart to hide that little slip up of his. “Wow, you actually work?”

It did the trick as you rolled your eyes, turning Yoongi around to push him back into the hall, shutting the door behind. He glanced at it for a second before sighing. Nothing else to do but wait for you to finish.

You didn’t plan to take this long but Yoongi’s shower put your crappy one to shame. Not only did the warm water last longer and feel better, his showerhead had better settings, including a massaging one that did wonders for your sore muscles. You were surprised he didn’t come along to bang on the door and tell you to stop wasting his water.

Drying off with one of the towels, you wrapped it around your body and left the bathroom to walk back down to his room. “Hey, sorry it took so long. What kind of showerhead do you have–”

Your question cut off as you spotted the person you thought you were talking to fast asleep in his bed.

Yoongi had curled up under his sheets, his bare torso peeking out. His cheek was pressed down to the pillows, lips parted as he snored softly. Sighing, you walked over to the bed, eyeing him with amusement as you poked his shoulder.

“Way to fall asleep on me, jerk.”

Not even a grumble came out. Looks like he was a heavy sleeper.

Shaking your head, you removed your towel and began looking for your clothes. Once they were gathered up, you slid them back on (you remembered that your panties were practically useless now and cursed Yoongi under your breath). Making sure that you had everything on you, you turned to look at his prone form. You were debating on waking him up to let him know you were leaving until you came to your senses. 

Why should you bother? Normally, the guys you slept with wouldn’t give a damn, choosing to shoo you out of their place as soon as they got their rocks off. But Yoongi had allowed you to use his shower and even double checked on your wellbeing; you were lucky to even get a wipe from the others. The least you could do was give him a heads-up.

But he looked so peaceful…

Your eyes widened.

Oh hell no. You had to get out of here.

Making up your mind, you shot him a smile before heading back into the hall, carefully shutting the door behind you. You walked over to the front door to put your shoes on when you paused. Pursing your lips, you looked around to see if there was any paper or notebooks lying around. Spotting a nearly-empty notepad on the coffee table, you headed over to pick it up, along with the pen that was lying next to it. Taking a minute to think, you scribbled down what was in your head before setting the pad down and returning to the entrance.

Slipping your shoes on, you unlocked the door. Looking back into the apartment, you whispered with a pleased smile on your face, “Thanks, sugar baby.”

Yoongi wasn’t someone who had trouble sleeping but when his eyes cracked open, he could tell that he had one of the best sleeps in a while. He estimated that it was somewhere between 6 to 7 AM by the faint light shining through his blinds. He was ready to turn over and go back to his slumber until he remembered just why he was so tired.

Or who made him so tired.

Sitting upright quickly, Yoongi looked down at the opposite side of his bed, surprised to see it empty. That vanished when he remembered you saying that you had to leave. Right.

How long was he out for? And why didn’t you wake him up?

Realizing there was no point in mulling it over, he sighed and stretched his arms up, wincing at the slight ache that came with it. Maybe a hot shower would help. Throwing the covers off, Yoongi stood and started heading to the door, only for his foot to catch on something on the floor. Frowning, he looked and reached down to pick the item up, eyes widening at the panties in his grasp. At least, what used to be panties.

Even though a part of him felt smug about it, his cheeks warmed at how far he had gone last night. He never got that rough in bed with previous partners but you were a special exception. Hopefully you weren’t bullshitting him when you said you were okay with the way he treated you. 

Tossing the fabric onto his bed, he made his way to his bathroom to take a much-needed shower. Once he finished, Yoongi realized that his front door was probably still unlocked. Trudging to it, he grumbled as he did the locks back up, glad that no burglar decided to target his place. He was about to head back to bed until he noticed one of his notepads sitting in the middle of the coffee table. He tilted his head as he saw writing on it.

Picking it up, he scanned over the words.

Hey Yoongi (Suga, sugar baby, etc.),

Thanks for last night, can’t remember the last time I got taken to dinner and then fucked like that lol. And thanks for letting me use your shower, it’s 10x better than my shitty one at home, you gotta tell me what kind of showerhead you’ve got. P:

Hope you slept well, was gonna wake you up but you looked so cute (for once) :D see you around in the underground but if you change your mind and want more:

xx-xxx-xxxx

Y/N (rookie, slut, etc.) <3

Yoongi stared down at the paper for a good minute before he started laughing, shoulders shaking in mirth. 

Looks like this was the start of an interesting affair.

©bangtanintotheroom, 2022. Do not repost to other sites or copy without permission.

[mokutone]

Hm…. Yamato is too easy, so…. Sakura? 👀

ah. an anon after my own heart. yes i love her lets talk abt her!!!

answers under the cut!

favorite thing about them — i kind of like that like. as a kid she's just a huge asshole. like due to her own insecurities. she put ino on a pedestal. and then got MAD at ino for being on a pedestal that SHE put ino on. she's constantly a jackass to naruto. shes rude to even sasuke. SHES RUDE TO KAKASHI TOO. like as a kid she was just kind of a writhing mass of frustration and insecurities and i love that abt her :)

least favorite thing about them — how did kishimoto get worse about writing women as he moved on. how do you lose skills like that? i was watching like episode 160 or something like that where pain attacks and sakura was like "oh no! who would be so awful as to attack the leaf village...!" like. kishimoto. what the fuck was that. shes a warrior in war town. if somebody destroyed konoha they'd destroy 90% of the land of fire's military force. like. puts chin on hand. like yeah this is sakuras home and there are civilians here but also she is literally warrior medic of war town. thats such a dumb line and u know they gave it to her just bc shes a girl. hate it here. anyway.

favorite line

this is rlly funny. lee said like one nice thing to her and now she's ride or die. sakura im so obsessed with u, u are soooo funny

brOTP — naruto :) theyre friends + they worked hard to be able to get along with each other. i wish we got to see more interactions that werent just the like. manzai comedy routine. had enough of her hitting him on the head come on. lets see them fight at each others backs already!!!!

OTP — bleh bleh bleh i'm not very shippy but i think ino + sakura have good chemistry, and i think rock lee + sakura could be cute.

nOTP — sakura and sasuke just make me really sad

random headcanon — she hasn't read any fiction books since she was like 13 and they stress her out at this point. you want her to get invested in some fictional fucking characters that she doesnt even know whats going to happen to? no thank you. sounds unpleasant. she's got a perfectly good medical text that tsunade is going to need her to have read by thursday anyway so really the fiction is a waste of time. she is like Yamato in this way.

unpopular opinion — i think she also has adhd. idk if i need to elaborate on this but like, when she does her kind of internal/external split in early naruto, it's clear that she relates to naruto a lot but is like way too ashamed of herself to act as honestly to her feelings as he does, and she clearly takes this out on him, instead of working thru her own issues about repressing her behavior. again not healthy behavior for a child but i do love that abt her. fucking nightmare tho

song i associate with them — some nights by fun. i don't know what to tell u, i have abysmal music taste and i have to own it so this is it? I sold my soul for this? Washed my hands of that for this? I miss my mom and dad for this? No, when I see stars, when I see– When I see stars, that's all they are

favorite picture of them

LOOK SHES SOOOOO SMUG. look at her little smile. look at the huge ahem. she got it right shes the smartest in the class and shes like. now give me the praise and the gold star i fuckin earned it. obsessed with her shes so wonderful and so obnoxious. absolute daughter. kakashis here for context but this isnt abt him.

[dreamkidddream]

So this actually wasn’t a request but I haven’t been giving my mans enough love I fear 😔😔 also I’ve been bouncing this around in my head for a while soooo reader is gender neutral and enjoy! But I really might redo this in the future idk

TW: toxic/unhealthy behaviors, language, violence, the typical yandere behavior, SPOILERS for Chuuya’s backstory/season 3

Yandere Chuuya Nakahara Headcanons

Falling in love with you was not something Chuuya was expecting nor planning. He works a dangerous job, he lives a dangerous life, he has no time or room for romance. As much as he wants to have some type of normalcy in his life (as much as the mafia will allow him, at least), he believes that it won’t happen anytime soon or possibly ever

But he wasn’t expecting you to come along and mess that up. And no it wasn’t like that cliche “love at first sight” bullshit either, he’s not desperate like some people he has the unfortune of knowing (*coughcough THAT BANDAGED BASTARD cough*)

(even though you caught his attention without even trying)

Either way, doesn’t matter if you’re in the Port Mafia alongside him or just a regular citizen, you guys just…clicked. He loves hearing you laugh, he feels his face trying to turn red despite denying it when you smile just for him, your smartass comments didn’t even make him mad seriously, just look at what you’re doing to him! It got to a point where if he didn’t see you every day, he could feel himself getting antsy and his temper flaring up much easier than before, and it made his coworkers both curious and wary to get in his way

When it came apparent with what he was feeling, he tried to force himself away from you. He tried to block you out, hell he even tried to avoid you, but nothing worked. It was like you were haunting him. You were his first thought when opening his eyes in the morning and the last when sleep begins to overtake him. You’re just so intoxicating, he can’t help himself

Chuuya isn’t a fool, he knows that he’s in too deep. He won’t even try to lie to himself that he can move on, that he’ll just forget about you because he can’t. It hurts him when the thought even attempts to cross his mind. So after a push of encouragement from Kouyou (who was just downright tired of him being in denial), he decides that it’s time to get out of this puppy love phase and get what he wants: you

He’s a confident man, and he pulls out all the stops for you. Flowers from the best shop in Yokohama, expensive meals, luxurious gifts, anything that he knows that will put a smile on your face and win you over. It went from just buying you lavish accessories to eventually moving you in with him. This is how things should be; not having you stress about any needs you have when he can easily provide them for you. Why work when he’s here for you and makes more than enough to keep you both more than satisfied? You may whine about it from time to time, but he just laughs it off, “Let me take care of you babe.”

Chuuya is an amazing lover, one who would give anything to protect you and keep a smile on your face, one that genuinely loves you and didn’t have you second guessing him. And your thoughts would have stayed like that, had the red flags not start to show…

(Or had you noticed the red flags earlier)

One thing about Chuuya he is protective. Very protective. Very overprotective. If he so much as thought that someone was a threat to you, he was already on top of it, threatening to smash their face through the concrete if they didn’t back off. It was a little endearing at first, but now it was just starting to get…concerning. You started to notice that his grip around you would get just a little too tight every time you go out together, that the threats he would mumble under his breath didn’t go unheard by you…the list would just get longer and longer

And it wouldn’t help to know that he did keep his word on his threats

Another thing too is that Chuuya makes decisions for you both, he’s the one that takes initiative in your relationship, takes control. For the small stuff, like what to eat or wear, he’ll voice his opinion, but he won’t really stress about it (unless you got something on that he thinks is too revealing, then he rather you wear it for his eyes only). But for major decisions, his word is final in the end. He’ll make sure that you know it’s for the best, that it’s nothing against you or anything personal, but he knows best. He knows firsthand how unforgiving this world can be to people, how it can just chew you up and spit you out like nothing, he has no choice but to make the tough calls

For example, Chuuya believed that you guy reached a point in your relationship that moving in was a no brainer to him, but you would always just dismiss the talk before it got far, so he took it upon himself to make it happen

It wasn’t until you stayed overnight at his place (which he kept saying was yours as well) when you realized he was being serious about you not leaving did you finally admit to yourself that something was really wrong, and he did not take kindly to the freak out you had afterwards

He doesn’t want to keep you locked up in your shared home, but he’s too paranoid to just let you roam without his eyes on you. Granted, you’ll get a taste of freedom and some fresh air when he’s by your side, but only when you’re with him and when he can trust you enough to not make a scene and run away from him

But he doesn’t understand what the problem is, or rather, he doesn’t understand why you have a problem with it. He can protect you, he will protect you, but you’re not letting him. Why won’t you let him protect you, why won’t you let him show you how much he loves you? He doesn’t understand why you’re being so damn difficult

I mean he practically spoils you without you even asking and doesn’t even ask for anything in return (even though a kiss every now and then would be nice)! He just wants you happy and unharmed with him but what can he do when you keep trying to leave?

You wanna act like such a brat? Fine. He can show you exactly how he deals with spoiled ungrateful brats like you

Say goodbye to the little privileges you did have. You don’t need that grand comforter he picked out just for you, you can sleep on the cold hard floor with this blanket that’s falling apart at the seams. You‘ll still get fed (c’mon he’s not a monster), but expect that to be the only contact that you get, with no words being exchanged nonetheless. As much as it hurts him to isolate you like this, you need to learn your lesson. The saying “this is gonna hurt me more than it’ll hurt you” has never been truer with Chuuya when he has to do this

Chuuya doesn’t want to hurt you, he refuses to, but he can’t let you keep getting away with your behavior. But just because he won’t hurt you, doesn’t mean he won’t resort to hurting others. He’s a mafioso, bloodshed and killing people aren’t new to him, and you wouldn’t want anything to happen to your friends, your family, would you? He’s not the cruelest member in the Port Mafia, far from it, but he’s also an executive for a reason. If he really wanted to, he could easily wipe out every single person closest to you, but he knows how miserable that would make you and it leaves a bad taste in his mouth when he thinks about it, but don’t test him. If things were to get really bad, it’s still an option on the table. I mean all you really need is him, after all

But it’s starting to wear on him how you’re treating him. Believe it or not, but Chuuya has feelings too! He may try to hide how dejected he really feels and try to drown his sorrows in a quick late night drink, but it doesn’t fix anything. Why would you want to treat him, your boyfriend, like he’s a monster when all he’s done is the right thing?

Oh but please don’t call him that. You still decided to scream and call him a monster? Oh, it’s like his world just froze and the only thing he hears is your words echoing in his mind. He already struggles with trying to see himself as a human and not a vessel for an evil being and this is the last thing he wanted to hear fall from your pretty lips. It’s like his world is shattering, the perfect illusion of you two being happy and together, you loving him like he does you, is crumbling apart and he can’t stop it-

But he can.

And he will.

You really believe that he’s a monster, then so be it. He’ll be the monster that you see him as. Like you want him to be

After seeing his reaction, the shock and agony that passed over his face then morphing to just a blank expression left you nervous. Walking out of the room with an eerie calmness surrounding him, he didn’t even look back. It was only when he came back late in the night splattered with blood and missing his gloves that you made sure to be careful to watch what you say

He’s delusional in a sense. He knows that what he’s doing can be seen as wrong, but he’s ignoring it because he’s doing it for a good reason, he’s doing it in the name of love. In his eyes, he’s just taking some extra precautions and measures to make sure nothing can happen to you. He loves you and can give you the life that you deserve, all while keeping you to himself safe! You can have anything you want and he can protect you, he’s really not understanding why you have to be so stubborn against it

Everything seems fine on the outside and normal like before; he still calls you pet names, spoils you, kisses you, confesses just how much he loves you. He still does everything like before and you would be tricked into believing that everything was normal too. But when you remember the extensive locks he has on the doors with passcodes that only he knows, it brings you back to reality

Just love him please, just give him all of you like he’s been giving himself to you, that’s all that he wants. It’s been so long since he’s felt this intimate with someone, and he will be damned if he loses it now. You make him feel like a human, not a vessel for an evil god that has him question his humanity on a daily basis. If it means that he has to put up with the tantrums you would slip up and throw sometimes and the hateful words that you would spit at him, then he’ll put up with it for now. But be warned, after awhile his patience will start to wear thin…

And he won’t hesitate to let anyone who tries to get in his way feel the experience of being crushed by gravity

[yuueee]

𝐦𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 fire lord! zuko x fire lady! reader

authors note: Firstly I just want to apologize for the hiatus, I want to be more active from now on! I’m starting finals next week so I’ll thankfully be done with this semester soon and will also have more time to write. Anyways I hope you enjoy!! I also want to apologize if Zuko is ooc here.

requests:

First of all, your tumblr looks sooooo cool! I’m looking forward to reading all of your future work! Imagine this: Zuko is annoyed by people constantly asking him about a future heir, but when one day his friends also start to ask, and even his uncle and his own mother join the baby fever train, it’s too much for him so he complains about it to his wife who only reassures him with her lovely self and her understanding smiles, not telling him yet that she is in fact pregnant. What do you think ?

Can you write an imagine with zuko who is clearly, utterly and soooo obviously in love with the reader (outgoing, courageous, loving) and maybe with the prompt “So you...well...I mean...I could give you a massage?” Thank you a lot! ^^

As the current Fire Lord and Lady, it wasn’t uncommon for the citizens of the Fire Nation to be deeply invested in your relationship - it was to be expected especially due to the uncommon nature of your union. What you weren’t expecting were Zuko’s close friends and relatives being wrapped up in your business as well. Being outside of team avatar, you were naturally more welcoming to his friend's constant questioning, but Zuko on the other hand was not. He couldn’t understand why they cared so much all of the sudden. They hadn’t been as interested when he was in a relationship with Mai - so why did they care so much now?

It wasn’t as if you weren’t getting along with his friends or family - you got along with them quite well and were very loved by them in fact. Outside of them though, you weren’t always as welcomed, unfortunately, the Fire Nation was still coming to terms with having the daughter of an Earth Kingdom General as their Fire Lady. The arranged marriage was put in place to solve several different ‘problems’. After Zuko broke up with Mai several years ago, he hadn’t begun dating anyone else due to being so busy but he’d eventually be expected to have an heir in the next coming years.

Although they had gotten better, tensions among the Earth Kingdom Colonies were still high and both sides were having difficulty keeping them under control. Eventually, an agreement was made for the daughter of a high-ranking Earth Kingdom General to marry Zuko - that daughter being yourself. Arranged marriages certainly weren’t unheard of in either nation - but a union of this sort was definitely unique.

Though he certainly wasn’t thrilled about it, Zuko understood that it was for the good of the people - and it wasn’t like there was anything he could do about it anyway. Even with his position as the recently crowned Fire Lord there still wasn’t much he could do.

On the other hand, you understandably had some issues coming to terms with your new situation at first. Despite being known by those around you as friendly and just a joy, in general, to be around - the woman Zuko had first met was quite the opposite. He could recall it like it was yesterday. Though it was awkward and stressful at the time, he now considered it to be the best day of his life.

“She’s in there.” A female servant whispered to the young man quietly, as if she didn’t want to speak loud enough for you to hear from your place at the balcony.

“Thanks,” he replied with a soft smile, bidding the elderly woman goodbye as she shuffled down the hallway. Turning towards you he was faced with a warm tropical breeze. His advisors had arranged for the two of you to meet a couple of weeks before that dreaded day, and for some reason, they thought Ember Island was the appropriate place. A combination of anxiety and general distaste for being on the island was causing him to be quite stressed - which led him to be more awkward than usual.

“Um, hello?” he spoke up faintly, as if not to startle you. He was sure you heard him come in, but you hadn’t turned around since he entered the small room. You stood several feet away with your hands placed on the railing, your [hair-texture] locks sifting gently with each gust of wind along with your predominantly red clothing. It was against what you had wanted to wear that day but it didn’t seem as if you had much a say in anything going on in your life recently.

You understood that doing this would be for the greater good of the Earth Kingdom and that your situation could technically be worse. You could have been married off to some old creep - but if you were being honest with yourself being married to the Fire Lord sounded just as bad. As you turned around though, you were surprised at the face you were met with.

He had a much younger face than you had expected, but the slight hollowness of his cheeks and the worry lines on his forehead told you that he had experienced things beyond his years. He also happened to be quite handsome - not that you wanted to admit it though. You had been bent on hating him ever since your father told you who you’d be wedding.

He was the leader of the Fire Nation, of course, you would hate him! The country that has had a century-long reign of terror on the world - and now you found yourself engaged to their leader. What had you done so wrong in your life to deserve this?

As much as you wanted to plan on running away the first chance you got, you knew deep inside that it would only cause tensions to increase and more issues to arise. You wanted the best for the residents of the Earth Kingdom, so you agreed to go through with it, but did so resentfully - which you had every right to feel that way.

But as you glared up at the young male next to you and tried to keep your attention off of the scar over his left eye - you couldn’t help but wonder what if this was the man who joined the avatar in defeating the Fire Lord? He wasn’t what you expected at all. Standing in full armor with his hair holding the fire nation insignia in a top knot - he looked awkward and out of place. You almost felt bad for him - keyword is almost.

“What do you need Fire Lord?” you questioned him, turning your gaze back to the rushing waters of the ocean.

“Um,” he faltered slightly, probably not anticipating your response. “I just wanted to introduce myself-“

“I know who you are.” you brushed him off, turning around and walking towards him - grabbing his collar and pulling him to your height. “We might be getting married but if you think for a second I will ever be nice to you, you are sadly mistaken.” you hissed at him before letting him go and walking out of the door.

Zuko couldn’t recall how long he stood there watching your form leave, all he remembered was standing there like an idiot with a red face. He hadn’t expected you to like him of course but he surely wasn’t expecting that.

As he reminisced on memories long ago while sipping his Uncle’s tea, he couldn’t help the smile that appeared on his features. As stated earlier, It may have been an unpleasant memory back then but now he considered the day he met you to be the best day of his life. Though your relationship had surely faired through many complications for a while in the beginning - surprisingly, you became fond of Zuko over the years.

It was certainly a long time coming but that strange friendship you two shared eventually evolved into love against all odds. That didn’t mean you weren’t constantly giving him an ear full (as you should tbh) your first months together. But as time progressed and you learned that he may not have been the evil prince that you had heard so much about, at least not anymore.

He wasn’t that same angsty teenager he had been years ago looking for the avatar, he was now a young adult growing quite well into the position of the Fire Lord - which was no easy feat. Taking another sip of tea, he watched his Uncle and Mother come to take a seat with him.

“How is it, Nephew?” His Uncle asked with a mischievous grin and a raise of two bushy eyebrows - albeit already knowing the answer.

“It’s great as always Uncle,” Zuko responded with a small smile, his Uncle's expression making him just a bit concerned, causing his Mother to chuckle. Though she had gained a few wrinkles over the past couple of years, she was still as radiant as she had been in her youth. She was also much happier being able to live with the family she had been apart from for many years without fearing Ozai’s intervention. It came with a price though - it seemed as if her relationship with her estranged daughter who was now on the run would never be resolved. She never lost hope though.

“Zuko,” his mother began speaking, catching the young Fire Lord’s attention with a raise of his eyebrows. “When are you going to give me a grandchild?” She asked teasingly, eager to see his reaction. In turn, her son had barely kept himself from spitting out the mouthful of tea.

“Why do you ask that?” He choked out in between a series of coughs with Iroh patting his back gently.

“You haven’t?” She asked in between chuckles, noticing how her son got bewildered at the mention of having children of his own. “You know you’ll eventually have to have an heir at some point right?”

“It’s not that I haven’t thought about it... but Y/N and I are just really busy.” He thought aloud, wishing he could run a hand through his hair - but was unable to since it was pinned in a top knot.

“Zuko, you never know when you’ll get this time of peace again. What better time to raise a child?” Iroh reassured, wiggling his eyebrows. Letting out a groan, the young Fire Lord attempted to mentally prepare himself to go through this same conversation every time he visited his family.

Over the next couple of weeks, the constant badgering he received from his friends and close relatives started to frustrate him further, so who could he turn to? You of course.

Being married for several years now, you were more than used to Zuko’s rants, so you simply just reclined on the bed with an eyebrow raised as he paced back and forth.

“I don’t get it! Why is everyone so concerned about when we’re going to have a child or not?” He questioned seemingly no one as you attempted to keep your face from contorting into a smile. It wasn’t as if you didn’t understand his frustrations, it was just funny to watch, especially since you were already pregnant.

You were surprised that he hadn’t noticed honestly, with you staying in for the past few days due to feeling sick. Who could blame him though? It wasn’t as if he wasn’t attentive and loving as a husband, he was extremely busy as of recent-and also just dense at times. After noticing his silence for a few moments as he looked over the balcony, you decided that maybe this could be the perfect time to tell him.

Getting up and sneaking behind him, you snaked your arms around his waist and turned so you could see his face. He let out an audible sigh of what sounded like relief before returning your smile and your hug.

“You want a head massage?” You questioned pulling away, wiggling your fingers playfully.

“Please.”

For the past couple of years, Zuko had been letting his hair grow out so now it rested around his shoulders.

“There’s something I’ve been meaning to tell you.” You started tentatively, but as usual, he was too caught up in the sensation of your fingers raking across his scalp to entirely understand what you were saying, so he just nodded in response. “I’m pregnant.” You stated plainly, ceasing your scratching. Not getting a response for a few moments, you turned to face him with a worried expression.

Much to your surprise he was grinning up at you and placed a warm hand on your cheek. “Really?”

“Yes. I’m sorry it took me so long to tell y-“ you were abruptly cut off by him pulling you into another hug and placing a kiss on the crown of your head. “So you’re happy about it?”

“Couldn’t be happier.” He responded sincerely, leaning into your shoulder so you couldn’t see the redness on his cheeks.

Maybe your family and friends would finally leave the two of you alone now?

taglist: @practicallylivesonline @chewymoustachio

[oblxvion]

euphoric | eren jaeger (1)

-> pairing: eren jaeger x f!reader

-> wc: 5.4k

-> warnings: use of marijuana, smut, praise kink, degradation kink, spit kink, oral (f and m receiving), fluff

you were stressed. it was almost the end of the term, and you had spent the past two weeks studying and prepping for your exams because you needed those grades. you had been slipping a lot in your classes but you managed to bring your grades up with the help of your good friend armin. he was extremely smart and honestly, without him, you didn't even want to think about what your grades would be.

“ugh, sasha, i can’t study any more.” you groaned, bringing you head down to into the vast sea of review that you had been going over as per armin’s request. “i need a break, i feel like my brain is going to fucking explode.”

sasha looked over up from her phone and laughed. “it’s gonna be worth it, i promise. once you finish these exams, you’ll be able to relax for a bit. do you wanna smoke later ‘cause we’re all getting together later at eren’s, i forgot to tell you.”

you hadn’t checked your phone in the past few hours so you didn't know that there were plans that had been made. 

you didn’t move your head as you contemplated the thought, it sounded like fun to see everyone and ignore the work you had for at least a bit. exams weren’t for another week and a half, so you should be fine.

“yeah, i'll come.”

“yay! i’ll text the group chat and let them know that we’re gonna leave at around 6.” she squeals as she grabs her phone and starts typing away a text that you soon receive as well.

“ok, i need to nap first. plus it’s like 4 so i’m gonna pass out for a bit.” you got up from the kitchen table and made your way over to your bedroom, beginning to get comfortable. “wake me up at 5.” you yelled so she could hear from her room.

“you got it.” sasha yelled back. you could tell that she said that with food in her mouth. 

“typical.” you chuckled as you felt your body drift off to sleep.

“y/n! hey! wake up! it’s 5:30. i lost track of the time.” sasha tried to shake you awake in which you grumbled in response. 

“ugh, ur so timely.” you joked as you made your way out of your room, and into the shared bathroom. wow i look like shit you thought to yourself as you turned from side to side trying to see all of what you looked like in your oversized sweatshirt and shorts.

there was not enough time for you to get ready to look at least presentable, but you felt gross so you turned on the shower and threw your clothes into your hamper. you put on some music because who showers without music and you made sure to shave because it had been awhile since you had and you wanted to feel clean.

once you had finished, you grabbed a towel and checked the time on your phone. 5:40. perfect.

“y/n, we have like 20 minutes,” sasha called from her room. “do you think you can be ready by then?”

“yeah, i just need to dry my hair and throw on some clothes and i should be good.” you said as you walked into her room, she was pretty much ready to go, and dressed in shorts and a baggy t-shirt. no one really dressed up for these sessions because everyone was already super comfortable with each other.

“ok i’m gonna go change, i don't know if i’ll have enough time to dry my hair though.” 

“you’ll be fine. plus, we can be a bit late, they wouldn’t start without us anyways.” she says with a smile as she puts on a sweatshirt.

you made your way back to your room and threw on a pair of sweatpants, a loose fitting tank top and your favorite pullover. as you made your way back to the bathroom to dry your hair, you found yourself stressing once again about your exams to which you took a deep breathe and reminded yourself that you needed to relax and this was a well deserved break. 

after you finished drying your hair, you quickly ran a brush through it, and put on some deodorant along with your favorite perfume.

“ok sash, i’m ready.” you called from the bathroom as you fixed your appearance for the last time. 

“perfect! i ordered us an uber because i don’t really wanna drive and i know you don't like driving high.” she says as she grabs the last of her things and we make our way out the door and to the bottom of our apartment complex.

“soooo...” 

you look at her as the uber pulls over to the side of the road. “so what?”

“have u been seeing anyone recently?” sasha looks over to you as she gets into the uber after you. 

“how could i? i’ve literally been studying nonstop. i wish though.” you say with a sigh. you had been so preoccupied with studying and getting your grades up that you haven’t had the time to see anyone except friends. “why do you ask?”

“oh, it’s nothing really. i was just curious, you know, being your roommate and all.” somethings up, she’s clearly trying to pick at something and this does not go unnoticed by you.

“ok,” you laughed and shook your head. “whatever you say.”

before you knew it, you both arrived at eren’s apartment complex. for some reason, you felt anxious. you knew the boys that were going to be there but you had this gut feeling that something was going to happen.

the two of you made your way up to his floor and knocked on his door which was opened almost instantly as if he were waiting.

“sasha!” connie exclaimed, embracing the girl into a bear hug. “hey y/n.” 

“hey connie.” you smiled in response. it was really cute how the two of them were so close, it’s almost like they were twins. you made your way into the apartment and saw jean and eren, arguing over god knows what.

“hey guys!” you say as you walked over to the two of them, hugging them both. 

“y/n! it’s been a while. how’s studying with armin?” jean asks as he pulls away from the hug.

“god. don't even get me started. i am in hell. armin’s being so helpful though.” you chuckle as you walked over to eren, who was looking at something on his phone but quickly shoved it away when he saw you coming towards him.

“hey y/n.” he says with his boyish smile as he pulls you into a side hug and you notice that his hand lingers for a bit longer than normal but you smile in response.

“so, can we smoke now that they’re finally here?” connie asks as it was very clear that he was getting impatient. 

“yeah, yeah, let’s go to the deck.” eren’s apartment had a deck with was extremely nice and over time, it had become the signature smoke spot for you guys. it had an outdoor couch and a few chairs along with a small table which was perfect.

you made your way to your favorite spot which was the right corner of the couch so you could be close to the edge of the balcony and look out at the view of the city. everyone had their signature spots, it was like an unspoken rule but everyone followed it. eren next to you on the couch, sasha, jean and connie in the three chairs on the opposite side of the table.

there were some blankets already outside along with a speaker that eren played some music on to set the vibe. 

“since you guys were taking too long, i rolled us a joint so we could smoke sooner.” eren said as he sat down next to you.

“aw, how kind.” you tease him as you nudge yourself against his shoulder, earning a chuckle from him. “dibs on first hit.” 

“aw, c’mon!” jean whined, knowing that you always give the blunt to eren right after you hit. 

“i get priority since eren is my best friend.” you smirk and wait for eren to say anything but he just laughs and shakes his head. 

you and eren had always been close ever since you started school. he even introduced you to everyone, which was the reason why you were here with them now.

eren took out his lighter and lit the joint and passed it to you. you took it between your pointer finger and thumb and took a long drag. 

oh how you had missed this feeling. the feeling of being high with your friends. you passed the blunt back to eren as he took a hit himself and you exhaled the smoke.

the joint was passed around the circle until everyone had gotten a good amount of hits and it was finished. you felt your high and you leaned back into the couch as you closed your eyes.

“tired?” 

you opened your eyes and looked over to eren who’s eyes were red, just like yours. “no, just relaxing. this is nice. i needed this.”

“yeah, i noticed. armin told me that you’d been really stressed lately so i texted asking if people wanted to smoke but you didn't respond so i assumed you were studying,” he says as he stretched his arms and placed them just behind your shoulders.

“thanks,” you laughed as you stared into his turquoise eyes only now noticing how pretty they were. you had looked him in the eyes before but this time it felt different and he felt it too. but your staring was soon broken by sasha’s wails of being hungry.

“there’s food in the fridge, i had takeout last night so there’s probably some leftovers.” eren nods his head towards the inside of his apartment. sasha stood up and made her way towards the food as connie followed her.

“hey! save some for me!” he yelled as he chased after her. all that was left was you, eren and jean. there was clearly some tension in the air but you decided to ignore it.

“ain’t no way i’m gonna be third wheeling right now.” jean huffed quietly and joined the two inside. 

third wheeling? you ignored it because jean obviously knows that you and eren are close friends, nothing more.

oh, how you were wrong.

eren looked over to make sure that there was no way for the others to see the deck and he moved his arm down towards your shoulder. you were shocked by this, but in a way, it was comforting. 

“y/n?” he asked staring off into the distance.

“hm?” 

he didn't respond so you took it upon yourself to look up at him.

“what’s up?”

no response once again.

your lidded eyes becoming heavy as he looked down at you with a tender look on his face. he leaned his face closer to yours until your noses were touching.

“eren?”

his lips connected with yours, igniting a feeling inside your chest that you had pushed away when you first became close. you melted into the kiss and kissed him back in a slow and sensual kiss. eren pulled back and tucked your hair behind your ear as he went back in for another kiss. you didn’t know what to do but the feeling that this gave you, it wasn’t like any other kiss you had before.

“wanted to do this for a long time.” he whispers and rests his nose on yours. 

you didn’t know what to say in response so you pulled him back for another kiss that was interrupted by the three of them coming back out onto the deck. you pulled away quickly, hoping that no one had seen what just happened. eren kept his hand on your shoulder, but no one had asked about it so you just let it slide.

it had been a few days since you had last seen eren. everyone was texting in the group chat about plans for the upcoming days but you had to study, or at least try to study. the kiss that you and eren shared had been replaying in your head ever since it had happened. you knew that he was high and he may not remember it, but it still bugged you and you had to know.

but most importantly, this kiss had sparked feelings inside you that you had pushed away so long ago and it was beginning to get hard to consume them. eren was constantly on your mind, and you couldn’t focus on your work. 

you needed to talk to him but you didn't know how because you didn't know that he had these feelings for you and you didn't know that you still had those feelings for him. you realized that you were ignoring these feelings that you had for him because he was your close friend and you didn’t want that to ruin your relationship.

it was driving you crazy. you needed to talk to him. 

you grabbed your phone and clicked on eren’s contact and called him. it didn’t even finish the first ring.

“hey y/n! what’s up? how’s studying?” he said and you felt your heart swell at him saying your name, which never happened before until now.

“hey, can you come over later? i need to talk to you,” you sigh. this is it, you need to know if he truly had those feelings or he was just playing with you.

“yeah, of course,” he stammered. “is everything ok?”

“yeah, everything's fine, i just wanna talk to you.”

“ok, i can get a ride now if you want me to.” is he eager?

you looked at the time and remembered that sasha was out with connie and jean so she would probably not be coming back tonight.

“actually, yeah, that sounds fine. see you soon, eren.”

“ok, i’ll text you when i’m close.”

“ok,” you ended the call and placed your phone down, taking your head in your hands. you’re overreacting right? he definitely feels for you, why else would he kiss you?

“i need to shower.” you said to yourself, trying to ignore the thoughts in your head.

as you got out of the shower, you heard your phone get a text, which you assumed to be eren. walking back to your room, you heard a knock at the door and you froze. you were still in a towel and debating whether or not you should open the door for him, which you did because you didn't want to leave him standing out there.

“hey y/n, oh,” he stops and looks you up and down. 

“sorry, i just got out of the shower.” you say as you open the door and motion for him to come inside. “can you just wait a sec while i go put some clothes on?”

“oh, uh, yeah. i’ll wait in the kitchen.” he looks around and scratches the back of his head nervously. his hair was tied back into a messy bun like usual and wearing gray sweatpants with a black shirt and his chain peeking out from under it. “you good?” he asked as he took off his shoes.

oh my god, was i staring?

“oh, yeah, i'm fine. i just spaced out a bit, sorry.” you chuckle nervously, tucking a piece of your wet hair behind your ear. “i’ll be right back.”

“take your time.”

you made your way back to your room and threw hung your town on your closet door as you looked for clothes to wear. you opted for a pair of pajama shorts and an oversized t-shirt that was sasha’s but for some reason, it was in your closet. once you had finished changing, you made your way over to the mirror that was across for your bed to make sure that you looked fine.

“ok, breathe.” you exhaled and opened your door calling for eren to come into your room.

he came into your room, still clearly feeling awkward about your interaction from before. “nice room, i like the led lights you have.” 

“thanks,” you laughed and sat on the bed, motioning for him to come sit next to you, which he did.

“so, what's on your mind y/n?” he asks, leaning up against the headboard and trying to get comfortable. 

“i don’t know, i've just been thinking about some things recently, and i can't seem to get them out of my head.” ok, good start.

“like what?” he looks over at you. oh no, don't look at me like that.

“the kiss we shared a few days ago, it’s been in my head on repeat.”

eren looks confused and looks towards your mirror, “is that a bad thing?”

“huh? i mean no, it’s not, i just don’t know what to do because these feelings have come back that i pushed away from when we became close because i didn’t want to ruin our friendship. but right now, it’s consuming me and i don’t know what to do.”

“well, i wouldn’t have kissed you without having feelings for you, y/n. i don’t know how you didn't notice it. i’ve been kinda bad at hiding it.” he said calmly as his gaze remained in front of the two of you. “but if you didn’t like it, we can just forget about it. i didn't mean to make you uncomfortable.” he turns to look at you once again. 

“no, i enjoyed it actually, but...” you trail off nervously, feeling your face becoming hot. you tried to turn away but his hand grabbed your chin and turned you back to face him. 

“but what?” he says softly, looking into your eyes which caused your heart beat to pick up. he thought it was so cute how you were getting so flustered by him.

“but i don’t want to be played...” you averted his gaze.

“y/n, i would never play you.”

you look back at him, now knowing the answer that had been bothering you for the past few days. it took all your strength to not kiss him right there but he beat you to it, closing the gap between the two of you. in that moment, all your worries had washed away, feeling content and glad that you had this conversation with him. the kiss soon escalated into you and eren sliding your tongues into the others mouth. you felt yourself getting hot once again but this time, a completely different reason. eren brought his hand that was on your chin behind your head, pulling you deeper into the kiss as you melted into his mouth once again, whimpering at the feeling. eren could feel it go straight to his dick that was now straining in his pants, trying to contain himself because he didn't know whether you wanted this or not.

“let me show you how much i care for you, yeah?” he says as he pulls away for a brief second. 

“eren, please,” you whimper as his lips met yours once again but this time with more passion. eren then moved so he was on top of you, caging you in his arms as he continued to kiss you. “i want you.”

“’want you too, baby.” the pet name going straight to your core. eren moaned as he moved from your lips down to your neck, gently kissing and sucking to leave a mark. he then placed his hands at the bottom of your shirt, looking at you as if he was asking with his eyes for permission to undress you, you nodded your head vigorously and lifted your hands up so he could take it off. 

“no bra? it’s like you’re begging me to fuck you, angel.” he then brought his lips down to your left nipple, gently sucking on it while taking the other between his fingers, moving it around earning a moan from you at the feeling. he then moved over to the right and did the same action. “you’re so beautiful.”

“ohmygod please, please,” you knew you sounded desperate, but you couldn't help yourself. you had been denying the fact that you had wanted this for so long.

“use your words, tell me what you want.” he groaned and came back up to kiss you, relishing in the feeling of your lips against his.

“’wanna feel you,”

“where, pretty girl?” he sat up at looked down at you with a smirk on his face, he knew where you wanted him but he wanted, no needed to hear you say it. 

“’want you inside me eren, please,” you whined arching your back so he could get the message. he chuckled and brought himself back down towards your sternum, placing wet kisses as he made his way down to the waistband of your shorts. 

“can i?” he looked up at you and immediately saw the approval in your eyes. “you don’t know what you do to me, do you?” you whimper at his remark, lifting your hips up in the process so he could take your shorts off easier to reveal your thong and the painfully obvious wet spot. he placed a finger on your slit, dragging it down slowly, teasing you.

“stop teasing me,” you whined, trying to prop yourself on your elbows but to caught up with the euphoric feeling that you couldn't. eren slowly took off your panties to tease you even more, and threw them behind him onto the floor.

“fuck, baby. this all for me?” he looked up at you with his jade green eyes meeting your e/c ones. he could feel the precum running down his shaft, struggling to keep his composure.

“yes eren, all for you.” your breath hitched as he spit onto your needy heat, bringing his tongue down to your clit, giving it a few kitten licks before he quickened his pace and wrapped his left arm around your leg to keep you in place, not once breaking eye contact. “fuck, keep doing that, holy shit!” you could feel him smirk against your core, and if it couldn't get any better, you felt a finger at your entrance before sliding in. “eren!” he felt so embarrassed to be rutting his cock against the bed but the noises you were making were sinful and he couldn’t help himself.

you began to feel your stomach tighten as he added another finger into your hole and picked up the pace. the sensation was incredible, the feeling of his tongue on your clit and the pace of his fingers going in and out of your pussy. your slick was dripping down his fingers, it was driving him crazy. he felt you tighten around his fingers, you were close.

“’gonna, ‘m gonna cum eren, please,” your release was so close, you just needed one more push.

“c’mon baby, cum for me.” he groaned against your pussy, sending vibrations throughout your whole body and you felt the coil snap. the moan you let out was pure sin and eren thought he was going to cum on the spot. “that’s it baby, good fucking girl.” as you got down from your high, you realized that he didn’t stop, you were sensitive, eren knew that but he needed one more from you.

“eren it’s too much, fuck,” you cry out as he brings his mouth back down to your heat and you can already feel yourself getting close again, and he could tell. you came even quicker this time, your juices gushing all over eren’s tongue. he lapped all of it up, not letting a single drop go to waste, and then taking his fingers covered in your slick into his mouth.

“you taste so good, i couldn’t get enough of you.” he whispers as he comes back up to kiss you. you could taste yourself on his lips and tongue. you reach down towards his throbbing cock, but he shook his head. “this is about you, baby.”

“please?” you look up at him and he couldn’t say no. he knew that he would not last long if you did as much as place your tongue on his tip. noticing that he didn't say anything, you took this as your chance. you flipped him over so that you were on top, and you could feel how hard he was. you grabbed the bottom of his shirt and helped him take it off, revealing his perfectly toned chest with chiseled abs. he threw the shirt to another place in the room, pulling you into another kiss shortly after. you moved from his lips down to his neck and down his chest stopping at his sweatpants to pull them down along with his boxers, revealing his swollen tip leaking with precum. he was larger than average and it excited you every bit. you smirked to yourself, and placed your lips on his tip, his breath hitched at the feeling.

you began to slowly drag your tongue down his shaft, maintaining eye contact with him, just like he did with you. you then took him in your mouth seeing how his legs tensed, you began to go even further. 

eren was trying so hard not to grab your head and push you onto his dick, afraid that he was going to ruin the moment with you and be too aggressive. you then took your mouth off with saliva connecting from his tip to your lips and then went back down taking him all in your throat before bobbing your head up and down, coming up for air while jerking him off. the sounds he was making went straight to your warmth, making you wetter by the minute.

“keep doing that, fuck y/n,” he groaned as his will vanished and he took your hair in his hands beginning to help guide you on his dick. he ran his hand through his hair and looked back at you, knowing that this image will forever be imprinted in his head. his legs tensed and you felt it, he was close. “fuck, i’m gonna cum, i’m gonna fucking cum.” he groaned as he shot thick white ropes of cum down your throat, you gladly took all of it and opened your mouth to show him that you did. 

“fuck, you did so good, so good.” he pulled you up towards him as you laughed into the kiss, and suddenly you were back on the bottom. “but now i’m gonna fuck this pretty little pussy, yeah?” he aligned himself with your entrance and your mind became fuzzy with the feeling of his tip right where you needed him most. he slowly pushes himself in but you didn’t need to adjust, and he began to move at a steady pace.

“oh fuck,” eren threw his head back at the sensation of finally being inside of you, the way your walls grazed his dick, pulling him back him. it was addictive, and he couldn’t get enough of it. “you feel so fucking good y/n.”

“fuckfuckfuck, ’m gonna cum eren.” the feeling came back embarrassingly quick but you didn’t care, the feeling was amazing.

“yeah? you’re gonna fucking cum? cum on my cock. cum on my fucking cock.” eren growled as his chain was in your face. hearing him be so demanding and aggressive set something off and you felt yourself release but this time it was different, arching your back at the feeling. eren was taken aback by the fact that he made you squirt, it was the hottest thing he had ever seen.

“that’s it, squirt all over my fucking cock.” he rode you out of your orgasm and continued to plow you into the mattress, picking up his pace. he was close but not quite there yet. you had taken into account that eren was aggressive in bed but he was being gentle with you at first, and you loved every bit of it. you wanted to make it more interesting. before you could even think, your hand met his cheek, and eren looked at you with a shocked expression but his eyes grew dark with lust. 

“fuck me like you mean it, jaeger.” you growled, hoping to get a reaction out of him. and oh boy, did it get a reaction.

“yeah? fuck you like i mean it?” he slapped you across the face, and then grabbed your cheeks and spit into your mouth. “swallow it.” if you thought you couldn’t get turned on anymore, you were so wrong. you rutted your hips against his, moaning at the sensation. this side of you was so different, and eren fucking loved it. he grabbed your throat, squeezing it and making you look him in the eyes as he fucked you with force.

“look at you, never knew you could be such a slut.” the name made you clench around him like a vice, earning a groan from him. “taking my cock so fucking well.” the feeling of you tightening around his cock for the 2nd time that night was making him lose his mind, he wasn’t going to last any longer and he knew that you weren’t either. he brought his hand that was around your neck down to your neglected clit and began rubbing circles as his pace became erratic. he was so close and so were you, but he needed you to come with him, he had to feel that feeling again. 

“fuck, i’m so close baby. fucking cum with me,” he moaned as he brought his head to your neck, you brought your arms and wrapped them around him, bringing him closer to you. before you could even comprehend, you released your juices, spraying all over his pelvis as he came shortly after you, painting your insides white. he stilled, trying to catch his breath but to his shock, you flipped him so that you were on top once again.

“not done yet.” you moaned as you began to grind yourself onto his cock. eren still so sensitive from his past orgasm that he was barely holding on by a string. seeing you on top of him, the way your breasts bounce and the way you look from this angle is driving him insane. he knows that he’s not going to last like this, the way you’re riding him, he grabs onto your hips and guides you.

you’re so overstimulated, you can’t even think straight. eren is trying so hard not to cum before you, but your pussy is milking him dry and before he knew it, he came inside you once again, legs shaking from the overstimulation. you lifted yourself off him and began to frantically rub your clit as you squirted all over his chest and pelvis. eren stared at you in awe, the way you looked like when you came and knowing that it was from him was a huge boost to his ego.

you finally collapsed onto his chest, trying to calm your breathing as he wrapped his arms around you. the both of you basked in this silence, thinking about the sex you just had.

“hope i wasn’t too rough, i kinda got carried away.” eren chuckled as he ran his fingers down your back, earning a laugh from you.

“no not at all, i really liked it actually.” you looked up at him, placing your chinos his chest. 

“I'm glad, been wanting to do that for a while,” he paused, as if he was looking for the right words to say. “i really like you, y/n.”

your heartbeat quickened, and you gave him a quick peck on the lips. “i really like you too, eren.” you blushed, “stay the night.” you didn't have class the following morning, so it was fine.

“ok, will do.” he squeezed you tighter, and you utterly being exhausted, you felt yourself drift off to sleep. eren gently moved you over and walked into the bathroom, finding a small towel and cleaning you and himself up. he grabbed you a new pair of underwear from your closet and the his shirt on the floor, dressing you before he put his sweatpants back on.

you felt the bed dip and a pair of arms bring your back to his chest and press a kiss to your cheek.

“’night y/n.”

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