#at least not without cash heheheh

[mewvore]

you've researched your kinks yeah? bc i dont care, i want to kiss your stomach all night long and i am not doing a bit here, the tummy desire is cardinal🥵

my gf likes to kiss it and honestly yea Its a pretty good tummy, all things considered (circa june 2024 at least lol)

[heroicgartist]

Caretaking Merchant (with a bit of Reader/Insert character x Merchant)

The Merchant is the best grandpa GILF figure of the Resident Evil franchise

Y/MN = Your Merchant's Name (Mine is Inigo/Mercado, full name Inigo Mercado XD, he/him they/them pronouns)

He/They would...

Take you under their stead without hesitation, apparently. Of course you and the mercado have a deal struck. You help out, and they carry your sorry bum on their backs. Helping out with arranging his cabinets of various wares ranging from foreign candy, collectible figurines, and GUNS. LOTS AND LOTS OF GUNS

Task you to polish his supply for the day. Y/MN ALWAYS explains how each gun, knife, tactical, lethal, first aid, ROCKET LAUNCHER? works and how it can be used in battle. You can't really keep up with all the details, but their giddy attitude as an expert for these tools makes you feel a fondness for them as if showing off their children to you. Makes you wonder how they know these things so well, but your mind might get into places that could think of him differently.

Be prepared for everything scenario possible somehow. It doesn't matter how bad your past is or what kind of problems you might be dealing with. Your problems mean nothing to him, nothing meaningful enough that they can't handle heh

Help you settle down. Sometimes you panic and cry underneath the pressure of your own life. The indigo colored flames and clothes are your escape from the world, sometimes you want to be wrapped underneath their darkness as if it is your new home. A new home that feels separate yet comfortable from the earth.

Despite their body somehow being cold blooded all the time, the moments they comfort touch you are the warmest moments you ever experienced. As their cold hand caresses your head, their cool presence lightens up harsh moments always "There there stranger. Ya don't need to be like this." "Sorry... Didn't want to be useless today... Again, I'm so sorry..." "Alright alright, you can 'ave a sickie. We don't need apologies mate, no worries for us amirite?" "Haha...! Yeah, thank you always... Y/MN" "Hah, ur always welcome to a sick day now and then heheheh!" he/they say as Y/MN ruffles your hair. Your eyes widen, with face blushing because Y/MN's chest boasted forward with a smile behind their masked face and closed eyes, as if they were proud of their own kindness at that moment.

Offer a massage in case you suffer from cramps or other strains on your body. It doesn't surprise you that they come prepared with Vicks, an ointment that people his/their age always have on their stock. Fittingly appropriate for someone cool as blue as Y/MN

Sometimes but rarely calls you pet names like sonny, sweetie, and god forbid he/they call you.... honey. Their crass rough voice has your knees weaken and rile you up into a red flare. At least before they sleazily laugh to themselves invigorating you to call them old man, creep, and cocky bastard. Which they are in the nicest way possible.

Offer you a chair to sit on whenever you're substituting temporarily. The reason why they don't sit is because they're a brilliant tryhard in maintaining the status quo of business for themselves. All trades are standing to him/them! Literally!

Whenever Y/MN does allow themselves to sit, he suddenly says in a demanding tone "Over 'ere stranger, closin shop for today. I know ya wanted a break, so don't dilly dally in cashing in ur vacation time hahahah!" as they beckon you to lay your head on their lap. Your eyes are mortified not because you don't want to, but because he was so nonchalant with his request. All your fears of handling their... personality disappear the moment that you look at his blue eyes, for some reason glowing a spec of orange you surrender yourself to their wanting moment of peace. Their body limps on the seat, breathing gravelly as he closes their eyes for a prompted nap.

You look up at his head, curious about what his face looks like, and what it is expressing, what mannerisms it may host. Your answer arrives the moment he suddenly snores, that they feel at peace with their inner secretive showing of happiness. But at the same time... their body laying still as a grave makes you afraid, afraid how your life would be without them. What you would be without them... Before those thoughts wander, Y/MN rest their arm on your neck, coughing and groaning before snoozing away your worries. Right... We don't need any worries right now

[all-hail-the-witcher]

5 times geralt wrote jaskiers name wrong on his coffee cup plus 1 time he didnt need to: part 1

its @natskier‘s birthday and hhh nat fucking slaps and her birthday fic accidentally became a 5+1 and yeah. here's part 1. 

___

ship: geraskier, modern

warnings: lamberts a bitch, geralt has feelings, jaskiers a little shit

editing: yes

words: 1.1k

genre: slow burn adjacent cause the boys are hella fucking impatient oops

___

“Geralt! Get your bitch ass up here and work the register!”

Geralt didn't even bother opening the door of the breakroom. “Fuck your boyfriend when you’re not on the clock!”

The door to the breakroom swung open and a very disgruntled Lambert glared down at him, arms crossed over his chest. One of his bright red curls fell out of his bun and hit him in the eye. Geralt had to hold his hand in front of his mouth to stop himself from laughing.

“If you paid attention, you’d know that Aiden is out of town. I’m going to the bank to get change you fucking piss biscuit.” Lambert pointed at him angrily. “If you burn the place down it’s coming out of your damn paycheck.”

Geralt groaned as the door slammed shut behind Lambert, but he still got up and walked begrudgingly to the front. Getting fired by his father would have been nothing short of embarrassing.

He made sure that his apron was tied correctly as he walked up to the register. Eskel was making the drinks, which was the job that Geralt usually preferred because it involved less interaction with the customers. But Lambert really hadn’t given him much of an option.

The bell above the door chimed and Geralt put on his best customer service smile.

“Hi, welcome to Kaer for More Coffee, what can I get for you?”

“Just a black coffee. Large. Dark roast”

Geralt punched the order into the register without looking up. Then he grabbed a cup off of the stack, pulled the sharpie from behind his ear and scribbled the order on the side. The routine was so familiar he could probably do it in his sleep. Not that he would ever admit that though because then Lambert would definitely try to get him to do it.

“Name?” he asked, still not looking up.

Whatever the customer said got lost in the noise of the shop.

“Could you repeat that?” Geralt asked, looking up for the first time and holy fuck.

The man standing at his register was abso-fucking-lutely gorgeous. He had dark brown hair that was falling in his bright blue eyes and the little smile on his face that showed off his dimples made Geralt nearly melt. It took all of his willpower to not drop the cup in his hand and keep his eyes on the man’s face instead of the bit of chest hair peeking out from his scandalously unbuttoned, peach colored shirt. It was almost like he was tryingto make him swoon.

“Jasper.”

Or at least that was what Geralt thought that he said. Eskel chose that exact moment to knock over a sack of espresso beans.

Geralt clumsily scrawled his name on the cup. Seeing that Eskel was otherwise occupied and he didn't want to keep the attractive man waiting, Geralt went to grab him his coffee. It wasn't like there were any other customers waiting.

Geralt filled the cup, double and triple checking that he had the right roast before sliding the order across the counter.

“Jasper!” he called out.

The attractive man was standing on his phone, not making any move to come and get his coffee.

“Jasper!” Geralt called out again, hoping to get his attention.

Still nothing. The man was scrolling like his life depended on it and it honestly didn't help that he had the cutest look of concentration on his face: slightly furrowed brows and an adorable frown line creasing his forehead.

“Hey,” Geralt said. “Your coffee’s ready.”

This time the man looked up, slightly surprised to see Geralt holding out the cup.

“Is that mine?” He asked, gesturing to the cup.

Geralt nodded. “Large black dark roast.”

“But you didn't call out my name,” the man said, crossing his arms.

“Yes I did.” Geralt cocked his head in confusion. “Twice.”

The man took the cup from him skeptically, spun it until he could see the name that Geralt had written on it and laughed.

“Well darling,” he said. “I didn't respond because my name isn't Jasper.”

Geralt spluttered, momentarily distracted by the fact that such an attractive person had just called him darling. He tried desperately to ignore the swell of heat in his stomach. “But you said-”

“I didn't say Jasper.” The man took a sip of his coffee and tried and failed not to wince. Geralt didn't blame him. Black coffee was terrible. “I guess I’ll just have to come back tomorrow and remedy this issue, won’t I, uh,” the man squinted at his name tag, “Gerald.”

“That’s not-”

“Oh I know,” the man smiled, taking another large gulp of his disgusting coffee. This time he couldn't hide the wince at all. “I’ll get your name right when you get mine right.”

And then he had the audacity to turn and walk out of the shop. Without putting any milk or sugar in his coffee, Geralt couldn't help but note.

Geralt stared transfixed at the door that the man had just walked out of. What the hell had just happened?

Unluckily for him, he didn't have much time to ponder that because Lambert walked through the very same door not two seconds later.

“What happened, pretty boy?” Lambert asked, opening the drawer of the cash register and putting in the change that he had gotten. “Did that door tell you that your hair looks terrible straightened? Cause I’ve been telling you that for at least the last three years.”

Geralt opened his mouth to respond but Eskel beat him to it.

“A hot guy came in and ordered and Geralt wrote his name wrong on the cup.”

Geralt turned away from the door to hide his blush. The way that Eskel said it made it sound so much worse than it was. It had been an honest mistake! It wasn't his fault that Eskel had dropped the damn espresso beans right when he had said his name!

Lambert tisked disapprovingly. “Of course the one time you manage to find someone who actually likes that mop on your head, you don't even manage to learn his name. Now I can’t stalk him on Instagram! Geralt, you really need to be more considerate of these things.”

Geralt threw an empty cup at him.

“Fuck off, you know I’m right!” Lambert groaned. “And I could get you written up for harassment in the workplace! What if you injured me and I couldn't work anymore, huh?”

“Lamb, it was a paper cup,” Geralt sighed. “And considering our dad is our boss, he would have seen straight through your dramatics.”

Thankfully, any further retorts from Lambert were cut off by the bell above the door ringing.

“Hi, welcome to Kaer for More Coffee what can….”

Geralt used the distraction to slip back into the break room. He still had another 10 minutes left on his break and he fully intended to use them to mope over the fact that an attractive man had shown actual interest in him and he’d somehow managed to not get his name.

Lambert would never let him live this down.

___

hehehehe :)) dumbasses

tag list: (inbox me to be added)

@percy-jackson-is-sexy-

@barlowpng

@eminasan

@llamasdumpsterfire

@nonegenderleftpain

@geraltrogerericduhautebellegarde

@geekymagicalpotato

@jaskierswolf

@toss-a-coin-to-your-stan-account

@toss-a-coin-to-your-lesbian

@littleredhotridinghood

@fontegagrilledcheese

@acemoppet

@lookatgeraltmyboi​

@gods-oopsie-woopsie​

@julek

@funkylittlebard

@dani-dandelino

@officerjennie

@kuripon

@alllthequeenshorses

@mothmanismyuncle

@dapandapod

[marciaownsmylife]

purly hc - “what could go wrong”

curly sneaks ponyboy out to a concert that he is not supposed to be at

•ponyboy is stupid in love exhibit A

•the entire town was buzzing for spring break because there was a rock concert being held at the drive-in

•concerts didn’t happen often in tulsa and when they did they were usually some boring old people music the parents went to

•so just about every teen in tulsa had a ticket or knew someone or was gonna sneak in

•except ya boi ponyboy

•darry said no, and ponyboy begged for weeks and weeks but darry was not budging in the slightest

•soda was going tho, but he didn’t have school and he could pay for his own ticket

•practically everyone in the gang was going, except for darry and ponyboy

•pony was so upset over this, he had been sulking anytime anyone mentioned it, and it’s all everyone talked about, so that was a lot

•even dallas has gotten johnny a ticket, darry wasn’t too keen on that but it wasn’t his place to judge

•curly however was not only certain that he was going, this bitch had a whole ass plan to get on the stage

•and pony was apart of this plan

•so it came quite a shock to him when he tried to explain what pony had to do, that ponyboy told him he wasn’t going

•”what tf do u mean you’re not going?! how am i supposed to become tulsa’s next rockstar if ur not there????”

•pony was already in a bad mood because of the concert being mentioned so he wasn’t humouring curlys jokes (curly was dead serious tho, we been knew)

•but curly always got his way so he decided that he would just have to do a little more thinking than he was used to

•which was any sort of thinking in the first place

•curly suggested to pony that he’d just sneak out

•pony pointed out that he still didn’t have a ticket

•”leave that part to me, baby curtis, all you gotta do is be at your window”

•and so it was settled ponyboy was going

•but he made curly promise not to get on stage because if ponyboy was going he had to be careful not to run into any of the gang,

•darry had personally told them that there would be a cash reward for anyone who snitched on ponyboy, and this wasn’t just for the concert this was in general

•most of the gang didn’t really snitch that often but they all knew that the cash would be high if pony was caught at the concert

•curly was fine with it, as long as he was doing something he wasn’t supposed to be doing, whether that be sneaking pony out or getting up on stage, he was cool

•the night of the concert came and pony had gotten dressed with his pyjamas over his clothes and gotten into bed, he’d also made sure to be extra pissy that day so everyone knew he was pissed off because he ‘wasn’t going’

•which was pretty easy because being a brat was like his specialty with him being the youngest child and everything

•soda and steve has already left, so all pony had to do was wait until darry went to bed

•darry was a heavy sleeper, once he was down he wasn’t getting up until tomorrow

•but of course, he went to bed late tonight to make sure pony was asleep before him, or so he thought

•tap tap tap

•right on cue, that would be curly

•pony stripped off his pyjama layer until he was in his normal clothes and tugged on his shoes

•he opened his window, with as little squeaking as possible, to see curly with his signature grin

•”why ponybabes you look stunning,”

•”it’s the same thing i wore to school today,”

•”did i stutter,”

•they hurry to the drive-in because darry had made them late by going to bed later

•by the time they get there they missed the first song but it didn’t matter to them much, now at least all the flashing lights were already going and it would be harder for people to recognize them (more so ponyboy)

•pony had obviously forgotten his jacket because it’s what he does, so he grabs curlys because it’s fucking freezing

•after they had shown their tickets to the guy at the door, he had put X’s on their hands to show they were under 21 and shouldn’t be served at the bar

•curly wasn’t happy about this, he tried to convince the guy that he was 22, it didn’t work for a second

•they get in and decide to stay around the edges of the crowd to avoid people they knew

•pony was having the time of his life, the adrenaline of sneaking out and the excitement of being able the feel the guitar solo shake the ground was the best thing he had ever felt (bc he’s a virgin lol)

•curly was happy because pony was happy, he even managed to convince him to dance

•as the night went on the boys hadn’t seen anyone they knew, and they had even been to the bar to get water (to curlys disappointment), so they started getting closer to the middle

•curly really wanted to show ponyboy the pit before the show ended so they made their way there for the last couple songs

•this is where it gets tricky

•as another song started the singer instructed for people to get on eachothers shoulders

•curly thought this was a great idea

•and they had managed to sneak a beer each from the bar in the end so ponyboy wasn’t really at his best thinking capacity

•so pony got on curlys shoulders and it was all going fine until he looked to his right and saw johnny about three feet away from him on dally’s shoulders

•johnny didn’t see him yet so pony still had a chance, tugged on curlys hair to get his attention and motioned for him to let him down

•curly did so straight away because he thought pony was about to fall, when pony was down he pointed out johnny and dallas to curly, they were still pretty close to them

•they pushed through the crowd and we able to get away

•until pony bashed straight into his brother soda

•pony thought they were done for, his whole life was gonna be spent locked up in his room because darry was never gonna let him out again

•but he didn’t have long to contemplate his doom, before soda hurled on the ground next to him, and pony quickly put together that sodapop was absolutely shitfaced drunk, he probably didn’t even recognize ponyboy

•pony wanted to help him, but he knew if soda was here steve wasn’t far behind and he didn’t want to push his luck so he left his poor brother heaving up his dinner on the ground

•he raced after curly to catch up with him

•once they had evaded the gang they made a stop a the port-i-loos and decided they would leave now before the last song so ponyboy would be home in bed before soda stumbled in, ponyboy wasnt so sure that soda was even coming home that night but they had to be sure they weren’t caught

•two-bit finally made his appearance when they were on their way out, he was also on his way out but it wasn’t his decision

•he was getting dragged out by security for being too drunk. two had a surprisingly good memory so if he saw them he would remember it, no matter how drunk he was

•curly had spotted him just before two-bit looked their way, he was going to see them either way, so the only chance they had was to make sure he wouldn’t recognize them

•so curly did what any rational tipsy teenager would do, he shoved ponyboy up against a wall and started making out with him, covering ponyboy from view in the process

•it took ponyboy by almost complete surprise, almost because curly was a sucker for spontaneous kisses, pony just wasn’t expecting him to be so rough but then again curly had to make it look like it was some random broad he was with

•it worked, but pony and curly had forgotten all about two-bit by the time they were done, and two-bit was long gone by then

•they got back to pony’s house and snuck him through the window without waking darry and they kissed goodbye and that was that

•it like 5am when they got back and pony had to get up for school 2 hours later and he was not feeling it fam, let me tell you, this boy had never felt to tired in his 14 years of life

•darry was suspicious but pony had the perfect excuse that he didn’t sleep well because soda wasn’t there and he got a nightmare so he was covered on that front

•school however he had no choice but to go or darry would have known, it wasn’t too bad since most of the school were either taking the day off or in the same boat as him since they were all at the concert too

•the teachers knew what was up too so they didn’t really bother much that day

•he was walking home with johnny, he was honestly surprised johnny went to school today until johnny told him that he wasn’t actually at school

•he just showed up to talk to ponyboy after

•now ponyboy was like (nervous laugh) hehehehe whaaaattt ???

•johnny doesn’t fuck around, he gets to the point

•”so like are you and curly a thing??”

•ponyboy is just kinda like ‘deny until you die’

•”what? no, i don’t even know him, like, curly who???”

•spoiler it doesn’t work

•turns out johnny and dallas had seen them in the pit, they were gonna say hi after the song but curly and pony had sketched before then

•pony was like “shit when are you gonna cash in to darry and snitch on me then,”

•he had accepted his fate

•”nah man i’m not gonna do that, and it took me all morning to convince dal not to either,”

•pony’s like tf?? why not?? because if he’s being honest if he were johnny he’d be cashing in as soon as he could

•but what ponyboy didn’t know was that before he saw johnny and dallas, curly had.

•but not in the pit, behind the bar

•they had been making out

•so curly had this information that johnny had assumed he told pony about but clearly he hadn’t

•by now pony caught on to the fact that johnny thought he knew something so he played along

•they switched the subject after that, but johnny hadn’t forgotten that pony still hadn’t answered his previous question about him and curly, he decided to leave it for now

•soda had stayed at steve’s the night before and when ponyboy got home, darry was too busy lecturing soda on his drinking that night to even notice ponyboy practically passing out as soon as he got in the door

•but in the end, curly and pony counted this as a win

anotherrr purly hc because i love these boysss, my online school started back from easter break today so there might not be any more hc too soon :(((

but i have 2 more ideas lined up, one for jally and one for johnnyboy

i also kinda want to do a point of view from jally of this night at the concert idk we’ll see

[yamithediaperdork]

2 tales from the Soul society (bleach)

2 Tales from the soul society

1. The best laid plans

Ichigo hummed to himself as he finished cleaning up the one story house he and Reniji had recently gotten. After getting married the pair had decided to move to the soul society full time, a move that was helped by the fact that Ichigo's bratty ways had recently gotten worse and there was only so many time one could expect to get away with hanging annoying kids by the back of their undies from trees before the law would have to get involved. Still they had a nice place, and Reniji while not at the best possible job, was raking in enough cash for them to live comfortably, all things considered it could of been worse. It also gave the happy pair time to indulge in a shared kink: diaper and age play. Make no mistake, while Ichigo whined and pointed out over and over again just HOW cute Reniji would look in diapers, the red head maintained that Ichigo was the baby of the house. Plus while Ichigo was a good little boy wife (Reniji's pet name for the chore bitch) he didn't wanna shatter his image of alpha male in the house hold by having Ichigo clean his poopie cheeks. It was Friday night and Reniji for a change didn't have to work in the morning and had texted Ichigo as the chore boy finished up what he wanted to do. Ichigo had a impish grin on his face as he texted back, having already decided mentally it was gonna be a daddy and me night, but told Reniji that he just wanted to relax and watch movies, and asked him to get some and some take out on his way home for work. Knowing it wouldn't take his 'daddy' too long to pick some movies and get some food (Fast food really WAS fast food in the soul society, anther point in it's favor) Ichigo made his way to the bathroom closet and dug out his enema kit.

Daddy was a firm believer that while he didn't always enjoy the smell, all big babies like his cutie pie Ichigo should be more then willing to make LOTS of 'presents' for their daddies. Ironically when they had first started all of this, it had been Ichigo who was less then a fan of poopie diapers and enemas. These days however, filling himself up and fighting to hold it in before soiling himself like a big dumb baby was so orgasmic there was 50/50 chance the big baby would cream the front of his diapers while loading the back. The tricky part in all of this was that Reniji thought plastic diapers were wasteful, and so Ichigo would have to somehow get his diapers pinned on and plastic pants tugged over them without letting out the water and sludge from his butt once he took the plug out. of course, only daddy thought that was still a hard struggle, but Ichigo had taken up some 'training' so to speak and while it wasn't always a sure fire thing, he had a high success rate. and had dealt with the clean up involved with his failures. It might of helped if it wasn't for the fact that Ichigo insisted on filling the bag to the brim, and oils and soaps to ensure all sorts of delightful cramps. Still it was a labor of love and he didn't think twice as he mixed his little brew up and shook the bag, before hanging it on the shower rod.

He had of course, already stripped naked, his hairless body a result of shaving and grooming and his modest manhood was twitching and awaiting the fun as he lubed up the suggestively shaped nozzle with one hand while working in a lubed up finger or two in and out of his rosebud to make this go as smooth as possible. Mindful that there WAS a time limit here, he forced the nozzle in hard and fast and almost lost it right there, hunched over the bathroom sink and letting out a soft "Oh daddy!" Somehow he managed to keep his load in and gasping softly he opened the valve on the bag, filling his insides with the hot mixture and whimpering as he rubbed his growing belly. "oh fuck..oh fuck..I'm getting pregnant with a mud baby just fer daddy Reniji." Ichigo coo'ed stupidly at his reflection, his eyes going dim as his hornless took him over. Somehow he manged NOT to give in and jack off, eve if his cock head was dripping a almost steady level of pre which meant he had to keep dabbing at it with a wad of tissue. The bag filled him quick enough and Ichigo giggled, rubbing his belly a few times and savoring the cramps with his eyes closed, before moving onto the next stage of operation: present for daddy.

The terrycloth diapers Reniji got Ichigo were slightly stained, there were some things that all the elbow grease in the world just couldn't get out and Reniji insisted that Ichigo wasn't getting new diapers till the old one's were too worn out to use/too filthy to keep using. 'hehehehe two birds one stone!' the big baby giggled, having gotten them and the large diaper pins ready before stuffing his guts. pre powdered and everything, Ichigo tugged the nozzle out and willed his hole to close as he plopped back onto the diapers, tugging them up and getting the pins in. Ideally he'd like to say this present for daddy to see happen, but his tummy was cramping and gurgling, so Ichigo would have to take what he could get. Moaning softly and his tummy sloshing, Ichigo went for the cherry on the cake so to speak, tugging up a pair of plastic pants he'd claimed to have lost but had been working on in secret. working to stitch onto the back of the clear pants in jet black 'poo poo pants'. 'Daddies gonna squeal when he see's dat!' Ichigo thought proudly. he toyed with getting a diaper shirt on, but between the size of his tummy and the diaper butt, he'd of had to struggle and it would of popped open when he bent over anyways. He could of slid a top on at least but figured fuck it, lots of babies ran around in just their diapers and it wouldn't be like Reniji wasn't gonna be washing him soon anyways. decision made, Ichigo toddled towards the hallway in from of the front door and turned around,bracing himself on a small table for key's and the like and waited, his butt facing the door and listening for the sound of daddies keys.

Reniji was having a good day, and actually was looking forward to a nice lazy night. he didn't wanna tell Ichigo and break the little cuties heart, but he semi needed a break from wiping the big babies butt. truthfully he would of maybe liked to go out for drinks, but had just picked up a bottle of sake along with some stir fry and picked out a action comedy. He'd also run into two of their old friends, Toshiro and Kenpachi (though with Kenpachi, friend might of been pushing it..) and they had semi invited themself over for a few drinks. 'I'm sure Ichigo won't mind company for a little bit.' Reniji thought, listing to the other two captain's argue over who drink more behind. "Guys, for the record, Unless you wanna go and get your own bottles, take it easy." Reniji called playfully over his shoulder, then slid the key's into the lock. they might of lived in a ok neighborhood but Reniji still didn't want someone just waltzing in.

Hearing the key's in the lock Ichigo gave a Cheshire grin and mentally giggled, while in a soft voice went "it's showtime~" and relaxed his control, letting out a massive wet fart and then more.. as he heard Reniji start to speak up."Hi sweetie I'm home! hope you don't mind but I ran into some friends...of..ours.." Reniji said before his voiced dropped off, and he facepalmed. Looking over his shoulder, and helpless to stop the torment of sludge that was escaping out of his bottom, Ichigo saw Toshiro looking at him amused till the smell hit him, then the platinum blond was holding his nose and waving a hand, and Kenpachi who just broke out into loud laughter. Blushing big time time and shaking, Ichigo gave a weak little wave and a soft "Oh..uh...Hiiii..." "nice huggies poo poo pants!" Toshiro grumbled, still holding his nose and Kenpachi just laughed harder. "-sigh-.. can you guys give me a few, apparently I have to put the baby down to bed..or at least change him." Reniji said, going from annoyed to smirking. "DADDY!"

2. Anger leads to bad choices

Ichigo hummed softly, he was once again cleaning the house, and it had a been a few week's since the disaster that had been the so called lazy night. Toshiro and Kenpachi had agreed to keep it to themselves, but mostly because who would believe them? Reniji had been a little bit less then pleased with Ichigo for fibbing, but Ichigo had gotten away with just having to go to bed in the spare room (AKA his nursery) without a diaper change and listen to the adults have fun. Still some babies never learn their lesson, so while Ichigo was shaking his hips and singing a few of his favorite pop songs from the human world, he was wearing thinner set of diapers and plastic pant's, that puffed out the back of his diaper shirt and poked out the leg holes. it was a pale blue diaper shirt with a big yellow star on the front, though the star was currently hidden by the black apron Ichigo was wearing while he dusted. the apron was a basic black and held extra wipes and a spare duster, as well as the music player that the big baby was listening to as he rocked that jam. He was currently in the living room, and had opened the curtains to let some sunlight in under the impression that the kids on the block were still away at some semi form of a summer camp, a assumption that would prove to be VERY wrong.

It was Kul who first noticed the sight of the big baby dancing in plain sight, and he'd crept across the lawn of Mean mister Ichigo, who was prone to yell at kids to stay off the awn and give them wedgies if they didn't listen. the reason why he kept kids away became clear as the close Kul got, the clearer it was the block grump was a silly big baby. Kul was small for his age and had a shaved head, but despite his tiny size he was somewhat known as the block tough guy and a semi hero to bullying victims. so naturally, seeing the biggest bully of them al was just a big dumb baby, he couldn't keep it to himself and waved over anther boy, Toji. "What is it?" Toji asked, raising a eyebrow as Kul put a finger to his lips. "And are you crazy? this is grumpy pants yard!" Toji added, lowering his voice to a hiss. Kul just grinned and pointed at the window, and Toji paused and then broke into a grin. "No friggen way.." "Go spread the word." Ku said.

Ichigo somehow missed the gathering of fan's outside the window, at least till he was wrapping up the final song on his play list and was paying the duster like it was a guitar. As the music faded and he dropped down to one knee, he opened his eyes wide as the sound of laughter and clapping filled his ears. Looking back at him, pointing and laughing, were all the kids on the block, and more, as apparently news of his little show had gotten out. they were pointing and laughing and chants for a encore broke out. His face turning Crimson Ichigo went to jump up but the padding had gotten damp from a combination of a wetting or two and the sweat he had worked up and instead he stumbled and plopped on his puffy butt instead. Naturally this only made the kids laugh harder, and some of them were taking pictures now as tears started to fill the big babies eyes. "Stop it! stop it!" Ichigo whined and pounded his fists on the floor, trying to glare at them and scare them away. Instead they giggled and d'awwed, and he heard at east one kid comment the big baby was having a tantrum. "I'll show you a tantrum!" Ichigo growled, and rolling onto his hands and knees, he crawled over quick towards the couch and used it to get to his feet, as the hoot's of laughter turned into sounds of worry. "I'm coming out then and giving you all wedgies so hard you'll be tasting your undies for a week! No! a MONTH!" he vowed, and on his way out the door shut the curtains. waddling out the door he never once paused to think about the fact he was STILL dressed like a big baby, or that he hadn't grabbed his keys when Reniji had installed automatic looking doors.

the kids had started to scatter as the front door flew open and Ichigo darted out onto the lawn, eyes filled with fury as he scanned the gathered crowd. "All right! who's fi-" he started, when he heard the sound of the door clicking shut. such had been the force when he'd opened it it had banged off of the wall and bounced back closed, and the loud click was the lock sliding into pace. "-st..Oh shit.." Ichigo whimpered. "pffft..did you just lock yourself out, diaper baby?" Kul asked, in a loud voice. "I..uh..Noo! I just.." Ichigo whined. "Well, if you're NOT stuck out here in your thick diapie wipies, go back inside baby man." Toji called. the other kids gained back their nerve as Ichigo's  anger was replaced with a trembling bottom lip, and he turned back, waddling towards the door, and letting out a LOUD fart. "Ah geez, the BABY is gonna crap himself..Now I DO hope he can get back inside!" a little girl called out. "S-Shut up! no I'm not!" Ichigo whined, even as anther fart erupted out of his backside. He tugged at the door handle once, twice and then a third time and sniffled, as the laughter grew. "awww poor baby Ichigo locked him poor widdle self out! he'll have to wait till daddies home to wet him in~" "Oh man,m he's gonna smell like a sewer by then!" "Yeah, sorry BABY butt, but while i have a little brother, your butt's WAY to big for his diapers!" as the taunts came faster and faster, Ichigo felt tears sliding down his cheeks and sludge flood into the back of his diapers. "STOP BEING SO MEAN TO WIDDLE ME!" he bawled, sinking to his knees and bawling for daddy. "..ah geez.. ok guys I think he's had enough.." kul said, coming over and holding a nose, but patting the big babies head. "there there, your big brothers and sisters will look after you." Kul said with a smile. Ichigo, just whimpered and sucked his thumb and the crotch snap of his diaper shirt popped opened.

The last thing Reniji expected to see as he came into view of his house was Ichigo of all people, surrounded by kids from around the block and clapping his hands and giggling happily. He was naked save for what looked like a rubber sheet that have been mangled into a somewhat passable diaper and his eyes were basically bank as he coo'ed and giggled, calling the kids around him big brother and big sister. '..this is going to be a interesting story.' Reniji thought, and strolled up.

[starlight662]

— The Perfect Dress —

Fandom: Undertale

Ship: Sansgore

Word Count: ill edit this later

Summary: Asgore takes a femmine Sans out to buy him a new dress.

——————————————

The mountain king thought it was the perfect day to take his boyfriend- were they dating? He sure thought so. Regardless, he decided to take Sans out shopping.

.

The duo chatted along the way, exchanging jokes.

“Hey, Gore. Knock Knock.”

“Who’s there?”

“Tense and dramatic musical background.”

“Tense and dramatic musical background who?”

“...DUN DUN DUUUUUUN!”

Asgore let out a hearty laugh, and Sans smiled brightly at him.

He always seemed to laugh at his jokes, no matter how corny or lame they were. This made Sans feel warm and fuzzy inside.

.

When they neared the shop, Sans ran up and held the door open for Asgore.

“After you, my king.” He said with a bow.

This action was met with a chuckle from the goat man, who ended up accidentally letting out a snort. Sans would have hidden himself in the oversized sweater he was wearing, if Asgore hadn’t grabbed his hand and dragged him into the shop.

.

The shop had a large selection of dresses in all shapes, sizes, and colors. Asgore leaned against the wall as he watched the skeleton go through rack upon rack, occasionally pulling out one or two dresses to try on later.

Asgore smiled, but quickly formed a frown when he noticed two monsters a few rows back.

They were laughing.

.

It didn’t seem like Sans had even noticed, but Asgore pushed himself off the wall and made his way over to the girls anyway. With curiosity, Sans followed him with his eyes.

.

“Bratty, there is like, no way he isn’t a faggot or something, y’know?”

“Oh my gaaaawd, Catty, I know!! Do you see that skirt? Holy shit, is that ugly.”

.

Sans looked down and tugged at the bottom of his sweater self consciously.

Asgore, clearly unamused, walked up behind the girls and cleared his throat.

.

“Ahhh! Omfg, like, Asgore! You can’t just sneak up on people!!!”

“Like, yeah.”

Asgore just glared at them, and shivers ran down their spines as they felt the room of the entire store drop suddenly.

“Can you stop looking at us like that?”

“Yeah, it’s totes uncomfortable.”

Asgore laughed sharply, and it wasn’t the same laugh Sans heard in response to his jokes.

No, this was a laugh someone holding back anger would have.

“What’s... so funny?” The girls say at the same time.”

The atmosphere deceitfully lightened up again.

“I just thought up a joke. Would you girls like to hear it?” Asgore smiled, and continued before they could answer. “Knock knock.”

Bratty and Catty shared a confused glance, before Bratty answered: “Who’s, like, there and stuff?”

“Pizzas”

Catty: “Pizzas who?”

Asgore let an uncomfortable silence linger, watching the girls fidget uncomfortably before answering. “You two are pizzas of shit.” There was anger in his voice, and everyone was shocked. Even Burgerpants over at the cash register.

Asgore ignored the people who started to look over. “Sans. Is allowed. To wear what he wants. When he wants. And if he wants to be a little feminine?” His voice lowered dramatically, and his eyes momentarily flickered orange and blue. “You sons of bitches better let him be feminine.”

Bratty and Catty nodded frantically, muttering words of agreement.

“And goddamnit, he looks fucking adorable in that skirt!”

Sans immediately squeaked and pulled his sweater up to cover his face, dropping a few dresses in the process.

“Y-yep, so- so cute.”

“Yeah, he- he could win an award, he’s so c-cute. Right- Right, Bratty?”

“Y-yeah, Cat- Catty!”

The two quickly grabbed their things, before rushing to the cash register, where Burgerpants was enjoying some popcorn. (How did he get popcorn without leaving his station? I dunno, this is a fanfiction, it doesn’t need logic.)

.

Asgore sighed, turning around and going over to pick up the dresses Sans had dropped.

“Do you want to go try these on?” Asgore and the atmosphere had returned to normal again. Sans was still stunned, so he simply nodded.

.

In the dressing rooms, Sans tried on the different dresses and showed Asgore.

Asgore absolutely adored seeing the skeleton in each and every dress, but Sans always found some flaw in each one.

That is, until Asgore had handed him a pastel blue dress he had been hiding.

When he walked out wearing it, Asgore could swear on his life that Sans had a halo around him.

“Does... do you think it looks good?”

“You’re perfect.”

“Ah-“

“I mean- you look perfect. It looks really good on you, Sans.”

As Sans covered his face, flustered, Asgore chuckled and smiled greatly as he fell even more in love with the skeleton.

The goat man picked up and put the rejected dresses on the rack for a clerk to put away later. (There was a lot of dresses.) (Poor Burgerpants.)

.

After Sans changed back into his normal clothes and Asgore paid for the dress, the two began their walk to their spot for afternoon tea.

The comedian had been uncharacteristically silent since they left the shop, which worried Asgore. He didn’t want to pry, so he started humming to himself as a distraction.

.

After a while, Sans spoke up.

“...Asgore?”

“Hm?”

“You didn’t... have to do that, y’know.”

“Nonsense! After all you’ve done, the least I can do is buy you a dress.”

“Ah, that’s not-“ Sans stopped walking, and looked away from him, sheepishly. (Or, Goatishly, heheheh.) (...I should leave the jokes to Sans and Asgore.)

“Sans?”

“Stand up for me. Ya didn’t have’ta stand up for me.”

Asgore stopped and blinked, before placing his hands gently on the others’ shoulders, and lowering to be at eye level with him.

“I stood up for you because I wanted to. You’re important to me, Sans. I don’t want anyone to make fun of you for who you are, because who you are is amazing.”

Sans’ face became a bright sapphire as Asgore spoke those words.

“Ya shouldn’t lie, just ta make me feel better.”

“Look at me.” Asgores voice was stern, but much less than it was earlier. “Sans. Look at me.”

Sans obeyed, finally turning his head and making eye contact. “What?”

Asgore stared into his eyes, as if he was trying to read them. Sans’ face turned an even brighter shade of blue.

“I’m not lying, Sans. No matter what you think of yourself- you’re worth caring about.” The king was starting to blush a little himself, as his words seemed to flow out on their own accord. “Golly, you mean so much to me, and seeing them laugh at you... I didn’t like it. I really didn’t like it. I wanted to make it stop. I had to make it stop. You’re perfect the way you are, and no one has the right to say otherwise, alright? I mean it, Sans. I mean everything I just said.”

Sans just stood there, so stunned by Asgores words that he had no idea how to react.

Asgore blinked, taking his hands off of Sans’ shoulders. He chuckled sheepishly and scratched the back of his head as his blush darkened.

He wondered if it was too much at once, and was presently surprised when he was pulled into a tight, silent hug.

[raccoonsinqueen]

So Close, Yet... Part 4

Summary:  It's a little hard working two jobs, but you manage.

Notes:  Sorry no skelebros this chapter like what am I even doing

“Eyyyyyyy, dame.” The crass monster slurred as you set down his food. He was beyond wasted as his eyelids were half lidded and he was having problems remembering he had a tongue in his mouth. “Wwwwhat time ‘ou gettin’ off t’night?”

This was actually more than common. Mobsters that come in here would get drunk to drown out their criminal tendencies and moral ambiguity, and they would either pick fights, hit on you or Grillby, or bust into tears and tell you their life stories. You much prefered the latter one, seeing as it not only provided you with info, but you also liked hearing other’s problems and being there for them. You know, when they're not murderers or rapists.

But today it looks like you were going to have to deal with your least favorite. The ones who think their being suave.

“Much later than you will be awake for, sir.” You smiled.

“Awwwwww nah, com’on!” He swatted the air a couples times, and then a couple times more. “Ima show ‘ou the time of ‘yer lifffffffe.”

“I'm fine, thank you.” You rolled your eyes. Despite his non threatening appearance, you still couldn't help the unwanted feeling that his advances left up your spine.

“Heheheh...” The monster blinked at you. “‘Ou are fffiiinnnee. Very very fiiiinnneee.”

You almost laughed, “Thank you, sir.”

“Come wit’ me tonight!” He said, joyously, before he started hushing himself and leaned towards you. “I can chhhhaange your worrrlldd.”

“Uh huh.”

“Eva hearda pink botttles, dame?”

You wanted to laugh so bad, but you held your tongue as you heard Grillby call you in the back. “Y/n? Can you come here?

“Sorry, sir.” You winked at your patron. “Boss’s calling.”

“Noooooo,” The drunk monster protested, his forehead smacking to the table. “Come baaaaack!”

You ignore the protests that came from the monster and walked back to the counter, where your boss quirked a brow at you.

“What is it, boss?”

“I don't get why you talk to them, just ignore them.” Grillby said, his even voice ever so stern.

“Did you call me here to judge me or to tell me something, Mr. Grillby?” You teased poking at your boss.

“Tonight.” He ignored your pokes. “A reservation is coming at ten.”

“Ten? Why so late?” You knew why. To keep discretion.

“None of our business.” Grillby simply stated.

This could give you an opportunity. A reservation for Grillby’s Bar? It had to be some big shot bosses, with that kind of money, not to mention a reservation means big talk as well. If you could catch even just a couple snippets of their conversation as their waitress, it could prove very very usefull. Drug shipments, money laundering, maybe even human or monster trafficking? You’d be able to destroy them .

“What do we need to do to help?” You smiled.

“Make sure everyone’s gone by 9:45.” Grillby said. “You included.”

Oh, poo! Grillby, why do you always have to ruin everything! “Why? Don’t you need help?” You feigned ignorance.

“No.” And that was that. The unfortunate thing about Grillby being a monster of not many words is that he leaves no room for negotiation.

“Fair enough.” You said with faux smile. “Don’t worry Grillby, your best gal is in the job! Everyone will be out by 9:45.” It was times like these when you wished you could have some sort of fancy spy tech! You heard that the police have these cool gadgets that let you listen in on peoples conversations, like the radio or something alike. But where would you get something like that? The grocery? You don’t think so!

For just a second, you could’ve sworn you saw some affection in his fiery gaze, “Thanks, love.”

“Love?” The smile grew on your face as you leaned toward your boss, your chest of the counter. “Don’t tell me... Have I finally grown on you, Mr. Grillby? I have, haven’t I?”

The affection soon turned neutral once again as he turned back around, “Make sure to lock the doors save for the front door when you usher everyone out.”

“Aw! Don’t be so cold with me, Mr. Grillby!” You called back to him, the smile still growing on your face.

“You sound like Sans.”

It was cold. The air was frosty. You didn’t mind it, it heightened your senses and kept you focus on edge.

You were in a dark warehouse. Faint voices could be heard beyond the crates behind you, and you dared to slip past another row. Said voices grew louder.

“Ya got the stuff.”

Oh boy. Now we’re cooking.

“If you got the money, we do.” Ew. That voice sounded like the person was gargling an octopus. Weird.

You could hear footsteps coming closer to you. Some grunt or guard of some kind. You hid behind one crate, counting his steps along with your own calm, low heartbeat. You can keep this silent.

1...

2...

3...

4!

Just as he stepped in your line of sight, you lunged for him as you grabbed his mouth and felt the flesh of his throat slice beneath your knife. He didn’t put up much of a fight other than haggard breath, but just as the deed was done, he went motionlessly, almost as if he was fast asleep.

Great, one down.

“Show me the cash.” You moved closer, slipping past one more aisle.

“Julius, come here.” You paused. Maybe that guy you just put to rest wasn’t Julius?

You looked at the body. There was a briefcase. So maybe he wasn’t just a guard, so what? People make mistakes!

“Julius?”

Nothing but silence.

You heard the gravel-like voice exhale, “I swear to... Tommy, Butch, go get him.”

Yes, please. You’d love to meet this Tommy and Butch.

Step after step you heard them... Closer and closer. The thrill was exhilarating, but you held no fear. You wondered why that was. But as said Tommy and Butch walked forward to their untimely demise, one seemed to have stepped right past your aisle without noticing a thing. You felt a little ignored, but you wouldn’t let it hurt your feelings too bad.

Mostly because the other walked right down your alley, as you hid behind your crate. Just as Julius you waited until he was just in your reach. The key was timing, the key was patience, you could only get those two from practice when it comes to exciting ventures like these.

And with one final step, you pulled Tommy or Butch down by the tie and slice straight up under his jaw. You were lucky he didn’t make a sound, but the skin under the jaw was always an easy access to the brain without having to deal with that nasty skull of his.

You set Tommy or Butch down slowly and silently, before maneuvering past your aisle. Now, you could let the other Tommy or Butch find you, but why do that when the hunt was so much more thrilling? Not to mention the fact that he might find Juli-

“What the f-!”

With a swift and graceless movement, you jumped out to wear the late Julius’s body was and stabbed the other Tommy or Butch’s neck in. You had been careless, you should’ve gotten to him faster. But he was still alive. He weakly tried to grab your wrist in an attempt to survive, but you stabbed him again and once more before he finally stopped moving.

His blood was warm even against your gloves. The warmth didn’t reach through your mask, but you knew it was painted in it.

“Butch?” The gravely voice questioned.

“What’s going on?” Ugh, there’s that gargling octopus again.

“This isn’t apart of- .... ” The gravely voice hissed, before stopping himself. “I don’t think... We’re alone.”

How cute. His voice sounded determined. Like he was going to do something about it. Fat chance.

“Cops?” The octopus voice questioned.

“Maybe.” You heard the sounds of guns clicking and locking. You hated that sound. The steps went light and near silent, but you could still tell where they were.

“Or maybe not.” You couldn’t help yourself, you had to say it. I mean, what else were you supposed to do, stay silent and ambush them? Not likely!

And in seconds gun fire littered the boxes, almost poking a thousand holes in your lovely red cloak if you weren’t so good at dodging them. You rushed out from under the crates and dove past the aisle in front of you. In one glimpse, you caught the remaining silhouettes. Three on the left side, one on the right. You must’ve finished off the right side’s men. Good for you.

And then you were back racing down the second aisle, gun fire trailing your feet, the sound deafening. But you knew it wouldn’t last for long. Bullets are finite.

Deciding to skip the last aisle, you jumped past the last crate and landed behind the man by himself. He turned around alarmingly fast, but you were even faster, grabbing him by the neck and using his body as your shield from the other bullets. You thought you were doing pretty well for yourself, until a searing heat clipped your side. And then another at your legs. And another at your shoulder.

You faltered. You... got hit. And it hurt ! You would commend them if you weren’t searing with hatred . Okay okay, calm yourself. No need to be hateful. You probably deserved that one. Heck, taking on seven armed mobsters at once? Have some temperance!

And just like that, the deafening sound of bullets ceased and was replaced with the empty and useless clickings of their weaponry. You threw the lifeless body in front of you down, but was shocked to see what was in front of you.

“Monsters.” You laughed. “No wonder you sound like you're gargling an octopus.”

The leader, a monster that looked like tentacles were coming from his face, shifted at the sight of the body in front of you.

You stopped yourself. “Wait. Was that offensive? That was probably super racist... speciest? Right. Sorry.”

One of the monster grunts, this one with looking like a five foot tall rat, stuttered to himself. “R-Red Reaper.”

“Oh?” You said, delighted. “I’ve never even touched a monster gang before, and even you guys know me?”

Octopus-Throat took a hesitated step forward, a hand on his large knife on his belt. “That’s right. You’re monster friendly, right?”

“Monster friendly?” You smiled. Not like they could see, with your mask and all. “Of course! Why would I have any reason to harm you?”

You could see the relief on their shoulders. But that relief was short lived when you lunged for Octopus-Throat, a long slash across his chest. Surprisingly, without hitting any vitals, Octopus-Throat let out a sharp yell that shook the entire warehouse before disintegrating before your eyes, startling his coworkers. Guess what they say about Monsters is true. All you need is intent to kill them.

“Except, you know, the fact that you’re all rotten .”

It was an easy fight. The other two monsters had tried to run. You locked all the doors before you came in, so it wasn’t too bad of an issue. They seemed to die with one hit. They were either really weak, or maybe intent really was a scary thing for monsters. No wonder they always seem to run from you. You were just too good at your job!

But now you were facing another problem...

Piles of dust.

How were you supposed to perch these up against a wall? Should you... Draw a picture of them in the dust sitting peacefully? No, that’d be weird... And also probably offensive again. Didn’t Monster scatter the dust of their loved ones over their most prized possession? Maybe they had their prized possession on them? Maybe you should just... fold all their clothes and stuff?

You exhaled. You had no choice, that was what you were going to have to do. Maybe nobody will think it’s too lame...

[knightofbalance-13]

I’ve decided to switch focus for a moment from RWDE to this, a sort of hyperbolic series of videos criticizing Video Games. I will might also cover his Twilight Princess/Skyward Sword too but I wanna hit this because I am very well versed in Pokemon and I have been a fan of the series since I picked up an old Red Version back in the early 2000′s so yeah, I have been a long term fan having played the games from Red to X and the only reason I don’t play Sun or Moon is because I haven’t gotten the games. I have done quite a bit of research on them though so I feel confident that I can debate this. So let’s begin:

0:25

Actually yes, they have. A lot. Like the Steel Type which WASN’T a part of Generation 1, Berries, alternate Pokeballs with differing catch rates based on conditions, Natures, Physical/Special Split, Double Battles, Held items, Evs and Ivs, Abilities, Breeding, EV training, Poke-amie, Mega Evolution which completely changed the game, Roaming Legendaries, the Fairy Type and re typing of previous Pokemon, the Alolan forms, Poekpolaga, Z-Moves and many others because I don’t do competitive battles. And this is all coming without delving into how THESE aspects are changed and built upon, such as the Triple battle, Rotation battle and Inverse Battle being built off of the Double Battles along with the various new Pokeballs, The change with the Physical Special Spilit, the sheer variety of the held items and the Abilities that are rare like Hidden Abilities or Mega Abilities. And then we have spin off games, such as the Mystery Dungeon Series, the Ranger series, the Rumble series, Pokemon COnquest, Pokemon Snap, Poke Collseum, Pokemon XD, Pokken and such. This is simply not true.

1:50

This Mario analogy really bites him in the ass because if Pokemon is nothing but these turn based battles, then Mario would be, by his logic, nothing but jumping around. And once again, this only applies to the Pokemon main series, not the spin offs which have dungeon crawling, adventure games, beat em ups, stradegy games, photo shooting and fighting games. So this compliant still doesn’t hold up and with  the Mario analogy kind of gives an air of willful ignorance.

2:08

“Copy and Paste”? Really? So the fact that there are new characters, new locations, new cities, new types of battles, new items and so are completely disregarded? If so, then no wonder you have a problem: you aren’t taking things into account. And then there’s the fact that not every Pokemon fan watches trailers so that flaw doesn’t apply to them and is thus not a universal criticism.

3:22

*Groans and growls* A. That doesn’t even make sense considering wild Pokemon cannot stall the game like that, they would have no concept of such a thing being WILD Pokemon, another Pokemon means more experience points without having to look for more Pokemon, grinding is inherently slow so “quickly” doesn’t even make sense, you are pretty much guaranteed to be stronger than any none Legendary Wild pokemon in the game so a second pokemon would pose no threat and this could have just been avoided if you mentioned how in generation 5 when you are faced by two wild pokemon you could send out two. I know this is a joke but the joke is so poorly written and so badly enacted that there’s no humor for me to suspend my disbelief for him.

3:43

Gee, i dunno. Because that’s over 800 POKEMON that you would need to program into the game which is located on a hand held console meaning it has less space and less processing power than a console. Also, Pokemon following you around is your suggestion? Dude, that is the definition of a novelty: as cheap throwaway gimmick that in fact would be just like that “new coat of paint” you were complaining about. All the stuff I mentioned but you refuse to acknowledge actually impacts the gameplay.

4:22

...Would you believe it if I said that this exact analogy is why I decided to do all of this? Yeah, this is a TERRIBLE analogy. First off, you’d HAVE to order the Cheesecake, just like how you’d BUY a pokemon game. If you complain about getting the same basic formula as before, it’s no one’s fault but your own.

Secondly, stuff like Abilities, Fairy Types and Mega Evolution would change the game entirely so it would be exactly the same as before. But you know what IS essentially chocolate shaving? Having your Pokemon follow you around. The one specific compliant so far and it spits in the face of everything else.

Third: The part about not putting chocolate shaving on strawberry would be disgusting if it actually happened, just like how adding in Pokemon following you everywhere would clash with the gimmicks of some of the gyms.

Fourth: The part about being more expensive is just blatantly false: Teh starting price of Pokémon games, at least since Diamond and Pearl, has always been 50 dollars. Are older games cheaper now? Yes but that’s how prices go: The newest games are more expensive because they expanded more than the older games.

Fifth: You can stop ordering cheesecake at many time and look for another dessert, just like you can stop playing the main series of games and look at the spin-offs or just different games. Nobody is forcing you but yourself.

4:32

Hehehehe...

Remember this.

4:37

But if you change the battles, that would be a complete OVERHAUL of the game, that thing you said Pokemon didn’t need to do 5 SECONDS ago!

4:43 And Abilities, and new types, and Mega Evolution, and held items, and Double+ battles...

Also, no unique Z-Moves? Well, sorry Catasrropika, 10 000 000 Volt Thunderbolt, Stoked Sparksurfer, Extremem Evoboost, Pulververizing Pancake, Genesis Supernova Sinister Arrow Raid, Mailcious Moonsault, Oceanic Operetta, Guardian of Alola, Soul-Stealing 7-Star Strike and Clangorous Soulblaze: None of you are unique enough!

4:52 Then don’t USE the Z-Moves: You have a choice to not use them. Even so, you cannot speak for everyone and if this is YOUR issue, that’s YOUR problem, not Gamefreak’s/

5:13 A. The opinionh about Totem Pokemon is personal opinion and without any proof is irrelevant.

And B. What about Kiawe’s trial which is about spotting the difference in the dancing, or Mallow’s trial where you have to find four ingredients or Sophocies’s trial where you have to answer several questions? A bit more expansive than most Pokemon Gyms.

5:30 Because if they did do that: Then the Gym Leaders (oir Captains here) would just feel like a generic trainer. It works for the rivals because you see their teams grow but with Gym Leaders? One battle and that’s it. The types give them more personality and more vibrancy.

5:39

Why are the rivals dumb? What makes them dumb? ... No answer? Well then, they aren’t the dumb ones here.

And if we talk about rivals as a whole: What about Gladion? He’s a call back to older rivals, specifically Silver with his personalty and parental troubles.

6:33

A. YOU DID NOT FINISH THE GAME. This explains why you have made so many mistakes here: You are talking out of your ass and pretending you know this stuff without seeing it for yourself or, lie me, doing any research on them. If you don’t even confirm what you are saying is true, why should anyone believe you?

And B. Exp. Share is OPTIONAL: You have no one to blame for that but yourself if you let your team get that overleveled.

.7:12

A. Pikachu’s voice is literally it saying “pik-a-chu” That’s it. Nothing else. You are directly lying here.

B. That skit is as unfunny as one form modren Family Guy

And C. Pikachu’s only appear in SOS battles and only in two places so they DON’T appear that often. And even if Hau has a Pikachu, he uses it three times and evolves it into a Raichu.

7:40 Then that would break the game, making attacks with low PP completely worthless and making super hard to defeat Pokemon like Shuckle a terror. You say, don’t do a big overhaul but this WOULD be a big overhaul.

8:04 THAT is the very definition of a complete overhaul. You just contradicted yourself AGAIN.

8:15 You mean like a dungeon crawler, or a beat em up or an adventure game or a fighting game? Like the ones that already exist? Yeah, kind of makes it look like you don’t do a lick of research.

8:27 Okay then, what’s your excuse for fans like me, ones who ARE older but still enjoy the new games? Nothing?

8:35 ... He says they should do a spin off game...and references a spin off game...

.. Do I even need to be here?

8:57

A. Teh E-Shop games cost about six bucks a piece: Not really a cash grab.

And B. That part ignores the legal side of things where, by using already existing Pokemon, the creators have every right to protect their intellectual property if they so choose. Not to mention this sin’t even exclusive to Pokemon, which around the time Uranium got hit a Metroid fangame was hit as well so this is clearly Nintendo’s doing.

9:39

...

You know...Nothing...and I mean nothing...pisses me off more than some whiny, entitled, arrogant, pissant pseudo-fan claiming that a creator is being lazy or some shit because all that says is that you understanding NOTHING about what they d Especially since this so called “artistic intergrity” was gone when you started not doing research, contradicting yourself and outright LYING just to push your narrative while insulting the real fans for paying attention to the changes that the creators have done over the years and teh chances tehy’ve taken.

And the most ironic thing is, you putting LESS effort into your videos would actually HELP. Because you already don’t do research or fact check anything you say, you already take footage from other places and the one thing you put effort into were the WORST parts of the video. Remove the original animations and you’d actually have a better product. Funny how stuff rebounds on you.