#at least matt has been paying attention even if hes bitter and paranoid about it he is actually taking precautions when their lives have a

[nerdie-faerie]

'When Bonnie Bennett has a hunch, you don't ignore it' FINALLY SOMEBODY WHO HAS LEARNT FROM THE PAST FOUR YEARS OF SUPERNATURAL DRAMA!!

[a-writing-bear]

[AmeriPan] Chapter 3: The ‘Hell on Earth’ Task Agency

Ao3 Link:

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13286367/chapters/56767471#workskin

This Has been cross-posted onto FF & Ao3 under Aliases: BearBooper

You can read this Fic on Tumblr under ‘Keep Reading’ But it is not formatted as well as the AO3 version.

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Fandom: Hetalia Axis Powers

Main Pairing:  Alfred F. Jones & Kiku Honda (America & Japan)

AU:   Demon AU/HellTaskAgency!AU - Demon!America & Businessman!Japan

Age Rating/Mature:  Teen And Up Audiences (12+ due to mentions of mature themes as well as swearing)

Trigger Warnings:  Mention of Incest ( no actual incest, it is only mentioned out of disgust), Joking about murder.

“I really...should get back to my co-workers…” Kiku gulped, side-eyeing the aggressive yet patient look that Mr Zwingli was sending.  “I just wanted to say sorry for bumping into you this morning. I hope you moved in okay…” Lord, Kiku internally cringed at his own words- why was he even saying sorry? He could have just ignored the 2 and just…

“I do hope zoning out isn’t a hobby of yours Mr Kiku- it doesn’t seem like something your coworkers would appreciate” - Al had gotten a little bit too close to his personal bubble and the Japanese man could do nothing but look away from that dazzling smirk that seemed to be too pretty not to notice. Confused and frustrated with what must be his social ineptness, Kiku shuffled backwards before awkwardly bowing and retreating hastily to his table.

“You’re trying to corrupt him, not kill the damn thing with social awkwardness Al.” Matthew sipped on some coffee as he gazed away, Gilbert now leaning an arm around him also snivelling after Alfred’s performance. “Oh shut it. Not like you’re doing so well with ‘Bonnie and Clyde’ over there  huh-”

“First off, they are  siblings , I would really hate to have a Bonnie Clyde situation- incest was not in the brief. Secondly, we both know we’re going to get a job near them regardless of what we do so it was worth a shot. Zwingli’s suspicious cus he’s paranoid. He’s human .” The last word was thrown out with such disgust, despite the fact Gilbert had affectionately been poking at Matthew’s extremely cherubic cheeks; their human forms really did not aid Matthew in his grunting monologue. Alfred knew Mattie must have been bitter at the blatant disregard that Zwingli man gave him, for he had been more willing to ‘try’ the whole human thing before.

“You two need to calm down. Humans are easy, they’ll commit some crime by themselves. We just have to watch them and make sure it's a crime that will help us all. Wouldn’t that be awesome.” Before Alfred could pitch in some remark the senior demon stood up after planting a very chaste yet meaningful kiss to Matthew’s cheek and stroking his hair; “I should probably go I have another soul on my schedule today- later birdie, and good luck to you southerner- make sure you don’t get too involved with your charge.” and just like that he up and left. Confused by the strangely intimate gestures between his brother and a most revered senior he searched for an explanation on Matthew’s disgruntled glare.

“We just... really...really know each other. It’s nothing.” Alfred could barely wiggle his eyebrows at the perverse confession before his brother sent him a death glare almost as bad as the time they started that plague in Marseille a few centuries ago. He dropped it and continued to idly watch his victim from a distance, it seemed like Kiku Honda was much too occupied in the droning of that Swiss financier to notice him back- Al pouted; ah he could always wait till Monday to play with his meal.

Kiku had tried to pay attention. He really did. It was just hard when he could feel the stare of that American on him so strongly. Did he not know manners? It was rude to stare. The thoughts of the blonde hair only burst when the little girl that sat beside him coughed, searching for some attention.

“Mr Honda. I believe my brother asked you a question. Dubel …” at that last murmur said brother tutted Lili- Although he did not know what exactly had been said in their Swiss, Kiku gathered it must have been some snide remark.

“Of..of course. Yes, it is quite unfortunate trade has made tech a bit difficult but there’s not much I can do about it, Mr Zwingli. except ask for you to balance out the pay and help me scram for something.” The industry was struggling with so much saturation and the recent embargoes and trade tension between China and the US had not made it any easier. Zwingli huffed, sharing the same feeling of disappointment as Kiku.. but after a glance at his sister and flickering between his coffee and the tie of his associate, Vash leaned in and mentioned under his breath:

“You know Kiku... Yao’s been quite overzealous with his penny pinching...generous with his escapades and vacations. You’ve been slaving away quite a bit in comparison…” he paused before whispering even more. “Doesn’t seem right for the right-hand man to be fed at the feet like a dog..” Kiku tensed, suddenly his throat felt dry and a little bit of anger clouded his mind- he was not the only one who recognised the dubious actions of his childhood friend it seemed.

“What- how much is Yao stacking to himself?” Zwingli shrugged nonchalantly, again avoiding Kiku’s eyes as if he had not just admitted to possibly traitorous gossip- the Swiss man turned his head to eye that Matthew boy again, letting Kiku deal with the folder that Lili had unceremoniously slid onto the table in front of them. Give him time to view the damage. Nervously, but with some fiery fingers, the short man opened the folder, ripping it up as if it contained the secrets of the world- if it explained the month shortcomings then perhaps it was the whole world. Kiku’s face went through a tremendous hurricane of negative emotions- disbelief, disrepair and complete fury...and sudden absolute blankness.

“I see.” Humming away in agreement, Vash spoke with his eyes still trained on Matthew on the other table: “Reasons I don’t work with childhood friends.” For some absurd reason, Mr Honda could not stop himself from trying to rationalise or reason on behalf of traitor:

“Yao was reasonable growing up, I have always trusted him- it's like how you are with Ms Lili-”

“Lili would stab me in the back if she knew I was costing us a fortune. At least I hope she would. I taught her well enough. Siblings don’t owe you anything, and friends most certainly don’t.” to that Lili preened, as if a child is praised for cleaning her room, not at the analogy of betraying her own kin. Kiku brewed in his own discomfort and the revelation for a short while before Zwingli cut in once again.

“You know much about those two?” the businessman nudged his head motioning to Kiku’s new neighbours. He shook his head and spoke the truth of knowing just as much as his partner did. “There’s something about them. I don’t know how to explain it.”

Lili’s voice, soft like a bird chimed in, “They are quite easy on the eyes brother.” and just as she uttered the words the two brother

Zwingli only scoffed in response and sipped his near cold coffee. That was not what bothered him.

--

“That Zwingli dude’s been staring at us.” Alfred tried to play it cool and look subtle in her observation. Matthew had gotten a magazine and was doing much better at the covert spying.

“No shit sherlock. He was looking at me like he wanted me roasted on a spit.”

“If you play your cards right maybe he will roast someone else. Get your work done quickly ya know.” Alfred grinned as his brother rolled his eyes. The two got up and headed out to explore earth’s delights, before the back and forth ogling got too suspicious to warrant a restraining order. Tomorrow the two had to go down to Hell and pop into Arthur’s office just to report on how they’ve settled.

“Do you Artie could tamper with my form a bit? I don’t know if I dig the whole classic American boy next door thing going on; being stuck in this for the next 200 years is just a bit dull.” Matthew huffed as they entered their apartment, the afternoon had already faded into a quiet evening.

“Ask him yourself. I was planning on going down tonight and staying there till Monday, to save me from dealing with human night cycles for a bit…”

“Already sick of human life?” Al sniggered before aiding his brother in positioning their candles on the floor in the trademark pentagram and conjuring up a rough but secure portal to their real abode. The walls of their earthly apartment crumbled as the two were engulfed in a blaze of bright and deadly flame. It was a quick half-second that they appeared in the glorious office of their higher up Arthur.

“Bloody hell, must you two always show up with the foulest stench? Clean up before you blast in” The demon with his huge grey wings cringed at his desk from the lingering odour of humans that had clung to Alfred and Matthew, that had invaded his office. Al shrugged, already past the stink of mortal life, and sauntered forward towards his boss.

“When were you gonna tell me Gil is a district manager up top huh?”

“It was in the case of file imbecile. and Matthew told me it would not interfere with your jobs- have you already screwed it up Matt-”

“Fuck off. Alfred just doesn’t read his crap.” Arthur’s brows were raised in surprise- Matthew, despite being a demon, had always been more diplomatic and civil compared to the lot of them.

“Ignore him, he’s bitter about the whole job transfer thing. Anyway, I know it all just began but when can we be transferred back to the patrol division- I already take back what I said about it being boring.” Arthur shot him a pestered look before reminding the pair that the contract would last for 200 years.

“I suppose it could be shortened though...the morality and ethics department have been missing dear old Mattie; it's not the same torturing people when you can’t use moralistic irony on them.” Matthew’s disdain snapped to sudden interest- he would do anything to get out the mess Alfred had gotten them into; he’d sell his soul if he had one. Alfred, on the other hand, was fiddling with some skulls that Arthur had been using as a paperweight as his brother negotiated terms to lower their sentence on earth.

“If you can finish your research, then I’ll get Francis to draft you guys back down here. Alfred will still be on suspension and on the petty crime division but back in hell nonetheless.” satisfied with such terms the 3 shook on it, signing a secondary contract that sizzled up into an invisible seal of demonic promise the moment the pen lifted off the scroll.

“I can’t keep playing favourites with you two, I’ve got other creatures on my payroll.  I’m expecting Armageddon level chaos up there. No take-backs, and when I see the papers I want the murder to be fantastically gruesome and that company to be reeking of corporate greed- enough for the big man himself to come to knock by our offices. I need a fucking bonus down here..the newer recruits are all too wimpy to carry out real torture. Now go. The real work starts Monday” Arthur shooed them, flicking some invisible force that pushed them out of his office doors and into the hot underworld.

“Well I’m gonna stop M&E and witness the new sinners, everyone keeps saying the new wave of demons are inefficient. I won’t be back till we have to go back up top.” Matthew had already begun cracking his neck and stretching his spine as he grew out his dark maroon wings, faux-human form melting away as he began fluttering off into the distance. Alfred kicked the dust at his feet before stretching his arms with a bored yawn- his wings unfurled with a puff and he picked at his re-emerged fangs with complete monotony. Perhaps he should pay to those seedier creatures that lurked near his den around this time. Just as he made his way to his den, he saw some scuffling of some frazzled looking fledgeling- the tail of the little thing curling in panic.

“Hey. Why ya lurking around someone else's territory runt? Go back to your own nest..” the little thing had the tiniest wings, scruffy black feather with yellowish flecks that reminded him of Arthur. In fact, the hair on the top of the premature hell-raiser was reminiscent of his boss so much that it could not have been a coincidence. Oh, hell had Arthur pumped out another batch of fledgelings? Crap that guys ancient there’s like no way he’s got so much-

“Are you Alfred?” the thing squeaked out, some confidence spilling over as it turned to face Alfred's chest straight. Al decided to entertain the creature, he had nothing better to do till Monday anyway. Before he could finish nodding the creature jumped into a salute and yelled the most idiotic thing Al could ever imagine.

“COULD YOU SMUGGLE ME UP TOP?”

Just how dumb were the new fledgelings these days? Hell' has really gone down the drain...