#at least i'm getting this stuff sorted at last. slowly but surely

[seaofreverie]

Wanted to start working on projects for my part-time school this weekend but instead all I have the energy to do is lay in bed and play mario kart or lay in bed and listen to music

[justporo]

Brewing Storms

A storm is brewing - oh yes, a literal one too. Tav's scared to be alone during a thunderstorm. Astarion is reluctant but stays to provide some comfort - and realises it might have been one of the better things to happen to him.

Author's Note: I started this a while ago and then stuff got in the way - like Gale for example (lol) - and now I'm happy to be back to write something soft for Astarion and Tav!

Pairing: Astarion/GN!Tav (You) Warnings: Talk of trauma, very light smut Wordcount: 2,4k

~~~

Astarion and you had fallen into a sort of weird routine with your little late night escapades. Since the party after you saved the Grove and the first night you’ve spent together you had come together time and time again.

First only every couple of days. Always meeting somewhere away from camp and then sneaking back sometime before the others woke up. Although you were surely fair they all knew already anyway. But now you were almost spending every night together. Fortunately for the two of you, being elven meant you were still getting enough rest despite the nightly adventures.

Astarion kept feeding you his cheesy lines – you ate them right up. No one had ever given you this kind of attention. And as much as you knew that it was an act: how could you resist? You had never experienced such flattery nor could anyone you’d shared intimacy with ever compare to Astarion. But that wasn’t even the main thing.

You’d had crushes before, you’d fallen in love before but you were pretty sure it had never been quite like this. Your whole chest sometimes ached when you looked at Astarion. Sometimes when you caught him in a rare moment when he let his perfected mask drop for a second you saw the bottomless sadness and worry in his eyes. And all you wished for was to erase whatever it was that caused that sadness – to keep him safe and always give him something to smile about.

You had quite positively fallen for the vampiric elf. What had been a crush at first had very quickly become an unyielding need in your heart: desperate to be near him, to hear his voice, talk to him, to laugh at his sassy comments, to lay in his arms and to hold him in turn. Out of everything you surely hadn’t wanted or planned to fall in love with everything else going on – but there you were.

You were a hopeless case – even though you were sure it would come back to bite you (and maybe even literally): be it that he lost interest in you way quicker than you would like or that he had ulterior motives and that you were merely a means to an end.

In fact, you were entirely sure that there was more to Astarion. You weren’t all fooled and blinded by your brewing emotions for the vampire. Maybe not really the first time, but as you got more used to sharing a bed with Astarion you were well aware that it seemed like he wasn’t fully there with you.

You could take only guesses at why that was exactly – and you didn’t like any of those.

At several occasions you had tried to bring it up. But he had swatted your concerns away every time, just making a sultry joke or drowning you with kisses until you had forgotten what you had wanted to say. In any case he always pushed you to get back into his arms.

Gladly, you would have offered him an open ear – your heart was already wide open.

But you were sure this wouldn’t last. You were in way over your head and you so desperately wanted to avoid breaking the spell.

And as much as you would have wished for him to open up more, to let you in a bit more and as much as you would have liked to confess the way you felt: you didn’t think you could do it without ruining whatever it was between the two of you.

At least, he seemed to be a bit more present when he was with you of late. The changes seemed subtle enough, but you were convinced that it slowly became different. Maybe it was just that the two of you had gotten used to this dance now, but you could swear his hands lingered longer now on your skin, that his kisses became deeper and more tender, that the way he looked at you became softer sometimes. And that those moments, when he seemed miles away, became fewer.

Tonight, when you had set up camp it had seemed like a storm was brewing.

You had already felt tense when you had noticed: growing up on the streets of Baldur’s Gate as a child with nowhere safe to go had traumatised you for life. Especially when it came to storms: too many nights you’d had to spend outside somewhere while the rain kept pouring down.

But worst had always been the thunder. Every single one like an explosion while a little child sat somewhere cowered trying to stay safe and crying from fear and loneliness. Even when you had gotten older and had always managed to secure a safe spot for sleeping and shelter the fear of thunderstorms had remained.

And thus far you’d gotten lucky that there had been no storms since this whole chaos had started. But the stroke of luck was over now it seemed.

When Astarion had thrown you certain looks after the party had gone to unwind each on their own after eating, you had very rambly and awkwardly suggested to maybe spend the night in your tent this night, because the others surely knew anyway and what if it started pouring and wasn’t it more comfortable anyway?

You just were desperate to not be somewhere outside when the thunderstorm was going to hit – and maybe even not alone.

And Astarion had looked at you suspiciously with a raised eyebrow, surely noticing that something was up. But in the end, he had simply shrugged and followed you to your tent.

So now you lay pressed against each other. Astarion on top of you, his body delightfully weighing you down, both of your shirts already off and his hands kept roaming your body as you gratefully gave in to his open-mouthed kisses. His hand had just dipped below the waistline of your trousers when you could hear the first far away rumbling.

Immediately you tensed a little but forced yourself to try and not be bothered by it. Astarion’s kisses wandered down your throat now.

A second already much louder rumble. You gasped.

And apparently Astarion had noticed that it wasn’t because of his touch – you could almost feel how he had furrowed his brows. But he kept silent and continued to kiss and caress you, leaning on one of his forearms.

When a third roar of thunder made you actually wince and recoil, he pushed up on his arm and looked at you. The other hand though stayed right where it was inside your pants.

“Afraid of a little thunder, love?”, he said and cocked an eyebrow. His tone wasn’t even overly sassy but you still couldn’t help but to feel hurt.

More thunder. This time so loud it felt like it was exactly above you. You recoiled again and felt how panic rose in you. You pushed the vampire - who actually looked hurt by that - off of you. His hand slipping from where it had caressed you.

“Maybe I am afraid of thunder. So?”, you spat back while you sat up and hugged your knees to your naked chest. As much as you wanted the comfort of his arms: panic and whatever feeling it had been that had overcome you when Astarion had looked hurt when you’d pushed him back got the better of you.

Shame mixed with the fear and you could feel your throat close up.

Astarion had knelt back on the balls of his feet watching you with a look in his eyes you couldn’t quite place. He definitely didn’t seem as cocky as a few moments ago though.

You looked away as another thing spiced up the mix of emotions running high: worry, that you had just broke something that couldn’t be repaired.

“I-“, Astarion started and then stopped helplessly.

The vampire was actually worried about you in this moment. Astarion was surprised by the sudden outburst of emotion and he was certainly hurt that you pushed him away. But more than anything: he didn’t know what to do now. Quite obviously you were not in the mood anymore for getting down and dirty.

It occurred to him that he did not want you to be afraid and upset. But then again, he had no idea how to make it so. And on top of that: he was pretty sure you weren’t interested in anything of the sort. Sure, you were absolutely the one person he talked the most to in the party. And yes, you were always making sure he’d gotten enough blood – but that was probably because you had need of him being his fittest for fighting. Also, you did actually seem to care about what had happened to him, wanting to learn more about him – but…

The vampire was confused and helpless. So he opted for the one option he deemed reasonable: leave.

He grabbed his shirt and started pulling it over his head while saying: “Alright, since it seems there won’t be any naughty indulgence tonight, I guess I better get back to my tent and you can try and-“

He was interrupted by you grabbing his wrist firmly.

“Please”, you pleaded, “don’t leave me alone.”

You were desperate: you didn’t want him to leave, you didn’t want to have ruined the delicate thing that had been forming between you.

Astarion let his shirt drop again and looked at you. Your eyes were filled with tears and full of fear. His confusion became even more: “Darling, I’m not… Maybe you should ask the druid to… help you. Maybe he has something herbal to-“ You basically yanked on the vampire’s arm.

“No please, Astarion, I just… want you to stay here with me. Just… hold me? Please?”, you pleaded with him as tears started to stream down your face.

You really didn’t want to be alone for one but also you were desperate to feel his arms around you again – to be sure he would still want to hold you, as much as wanting his comfort.

Astarion’s brows furrowed again but he dropped his shirt again and crawled over to you as you shyly opened up your arms to him to be cradled by the vampire. He slid his arms around you and softly moved you until you were laying there: him on his back with you carefully snuggled up against his chest – skin on skin.

The relief you felt was almost instant. Not only because he had agreed to stay but also feeling his body against yours immediately made some of the tension inside you ease.

Astarion reluctantly started to stroke your back as you buried your face against his chest. It all felt more than just a little awkward and you felt a blush creep onto your cheeks, but you just wrapped your arms around the vampire and tried to calm yourself.

Still tears kept coming and thunder was rolling in quicker now. Then the rain started as well and became a constant drumroll on your tent. The loud rumbles kept going and made you wince from time to time, but it was now considerably better than before.

Astarion grew more confident with just stroking your back. He even carefully placed a kiss on the top of your head at one point, in your all messed up hair. You both eased into this rather unfamiliar form of closeness.

After being stressed about the coming storm all evening, you felt that your body couldn’t retain the tension anymore. You weren’t entirely sure what all this meant for Astarion and you, but you forced yourself to just stay in this moment. Because this already was something you wouldn’t have thought to ever be possible. It was tender and sweet. Something you would have never imagined when this vampire had, upon first meeting him, thrown you on the ground and threatened you with a knife.

You were so desperate to hold onto this. So, you wrapped your arms around him a little tighter and cautiously tangled your legs with his. He let it happen.

And Astarion – Astarion’s mind was racing, utterly confused by the turn the night had taken. It definitely wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy this outcome – to his own surprise. Quite the opposite actually.

When the thunder subsided and the rain tap-tap-tapping on the tent ceiling was what remained of the storm and he felt you quite noticeably relax into his arms even more – his chest started to ache.

He was overthrown by his own sentiment and the trust you put into him; surprised, scared even.

In his thoughts Astarion kept turning around the fact how you had specifically asked him to stay with you although you had so visibly been upset. More upset even than he had ever seen you in any battle. And that you had wanted nothing but to be held in his arms. And he – to his own surprise – had been happy to be there for you, proud even, realising that he really wanted you to be alright.

You hadn’t even talked since he had taken you in his arms. Just felt the connection, your skin warm on his. His hands hesitatingly caressing and trying to comfort you while your tears subsided and your breathing became more even.

And even though it had been you who had pleaded for comfort – Astarion could feel it too. Felt, how the warmth of your body soaked into his undead body and your breath brushed over his naked upper body – now in a steady and calm rhythm again. You were so close, he could even feel the beat of your steadying heartbeat through your conjoined chests.

And when Astarion was sure that you must’ve drifted off into your dreams – because he had held you – he kept staring up at the ceiling of the tent.

The rain had become almost non-existent after what must’ve been hours now.

The vampire’s chest still ached with something he wasn’t quite ready to acknowledge yet. But he could feel that it had become something way too big to ignore. Something that would soon be unleashed – for better or for worse. And he was frightened about that.

But not in this moment. This moment he would hold onto. So he wrapped his arms around you a little tighter still, closed his eyes and full on buried his face in your hair while he was so fully aware of the feeling of your body against his.

Then he whispered so silently, even the last of the raindrops would have drowned out the words. So silently, because he was still so unsure, so scared and the words were only meant for him – and maybe sometime for you: “My love, what ever have you done to me?”

[luvtak]

mr. sandman, bring me a dream

✧ pairing 7 dream x reader

✧ genre/tw fluff fluffy fluff fluff, what i think dating them would be like <3 an embarrassing amount of run-on sentences i'm sure.... the dreamies being the most perfect boyfriends to exist, mostly unedited

✧ w/c 2293 (about 300 words each!!)

✧ a/n back to my roots writing for nct... also,,, not the dreamies being my ult group but my last group to do these headcanons for :/ i have so much fun writing these little ideas and dreams about them let me know if you want more!

MARK truly the definition of wrapped around your finger… tells everyone about you every day of his life. Smiles at everything you say and calls you the cutest names. Makes sure everyone knows that you’re taken for life–no ifs about it. Tells you about his whole day, down to the most unimportant details. Kisses you all around your face and gets red seeing you so flustered. Constantly saying the worst pickup lines. Always always makes time for you even with his busy schedule. Talks to your family on the phone and becomes best friends with your siblings. Lets you win during video games and pretends that you’re just so much better than him. Never comes empty-handed–if you invite him over he’s bringing some sort of present he can’t help it. Wraps you up in at least three layers when it looks a little cold outside. Starts bringing up ideas for a Halloween couple’s costume in January. Celebrates your birthdays and accomplishments like his own. Holds you close to him in any moment of rest, the members are around? He’s only bringing you in closer. I’m sorry to say this, but he is definitely one of those people who refer to you as a “we”... “we watched that movie last week!” or “sorry, we can’t come, we have plans.” Would never even think about fighting with you and when it can’t be avoided, he is always the first to apologize. Walks around draped over you, his neck falling onto your shoulder and clumsily shuffling you along. Steals your phone to take silly pictures of himself, and you end up having 500 selfies of Mark making the same five kissy faces. Fixes your clothes/jewelry/hair as the day takes its toll. Kisses your wrist whenever you hold hands. Lovely and forever committed to giving you the sweetest existence possible.

RENJUN  My angel boy<3 would be the most loving boyfriend if you’re able to get past him giving you sm attitude. Lovingly scolds you 24/7 365. Pouts if you don’t say you love him back or forget to kiss him before you leave. Steals your sweaters and jewelry. Makes you laugh so hard you cry, then kisses the tears away. Has the worst case of cute aggression when he see’s you like he can’t help but take a bite out of you. Whenever you ask him to do something he’ll roll his eyes and scoff but still gets up to do it anyway. Says your name so sweetly and with so much love it could be a term of endearment. Sings to you when you’re sad. Holds you so tight when you sleep, like he could absorb you into his own skin. Carries a picture of you in his wallet everywhere he goes. Gets genuinely annoyed when other people know something about you that he didn’t–wants to know everything, especially the embarrassing stuff. Acts of service king, does things for you and expects nothing but a kiss in return. Gives you the first bite of his food. Forehead kisses 100% of the time. Extremely tenderhearted, wants to be loved and love in return with nothing holding him back. Knows your schedule down to a T. Shakes his head at every joke you tell, but still grants you a laugh. Kisses you slowly and earnestly even if theres people around. Drops the most earth-shattering confessions of love at random moments and just expects you to move on. Matching accessories are a must!! And he will be ready to break up if your forget it one day (we have seen how he is with the dreamies friendship rings). Wraps himself completely around you when no one is around, and stays that way until one of you has to get up. Loves completely and wholeheartedly and is a perfect perfect boy. 

JENO Shy and perpetually flustered, cannot believe he got you fr. Alternates between the cockiest boy you’ve ever met and the most oblivious creature around. Is so in awe of you, cannot get over you choosing him. A big baby of a boyfriend. Body slouched over yours at all times. Tells everyone it isn’t obvious how unbelievably whipped he is for you than giggles when you call him a pet name. Loves when you fawn over him lol, would feel so good about himself when you laugh at his jokes or wear an outfit because he said you looked pretty in it. Definitely the kind of boy who gets you a necklace with his initials on it. Is somehow even more smiley when you’re around. His love language is 100% acts of service–helping you with chores and making dinner, he desperately wants to wash your hair and help take your makeup off. Always takes you home himself and makes you call him before you go to bed. Kisses you all over when you’re sad and squeezes you so tight you can’t breathe. Puts his lips right over your ear and whispers so you can hear him in loud places, sometimes telling terrible jokes to see you laugh. Constantly on the phone with you–will get yelled at by his members and staff to focus on his schedule. Takes you on long drives and lets you have the aux the whole time, smiles even when he hates the song.  Snuggles up to you and has you in an iron grip all night; wakes up periodically to tell you to stop wiggling. Literally a broken record of “oh my s/o would like this!” and “you would never believe what my s/o told me…” Tucks you into his sweater when you’re cold and always carries extra clothes because he knows you’ll forget. Could never hide his feelings for you, it’s written all over–hairbands and your favorite snacks in his cabinets. Is so so so in love with you, and would never even think about being embarrassed of it. <3

HAECHAN Sweet as cherry pie. Silly and charming and the kindest boy you know. Lives his life attached to you, hands on your hips and kisses pressed everywhere he can reach. Never goes a day without telling you he loves you in the most sickeningly sweet ways possible. Listens to every word you say, goes as far as telling other people to be quiet so he can hear you better. Serenades you with the most obnoxious renditions of love songs and coos when you make faces at him. Teases you endlessly–tickles and jokes and ridiculous nicknames, but would never let anyone else make a joke at your expense. Sleeps fully on top of you, head pressed under your chin and hands slipped under your sleep shirt. Celebrates you and your relationship with all of him, always the loudest voice singing happy birthday and the prettiest flowers congratulating you for an achievement at work or school. Speaks to you so softly and with so much compassion you almost get whiplash when you see him around the dreamies. Brings home sweet treats and little keepsakes from his day out. Will watch a movie or listen to a new song and note all the parts you’d like so he can play it for you later and speak to you about it. Unbelievably protective, not in a toxic way, but he wants so much to be able to take care of you and keep you safe–hand pressed on your back while you walk through crowds, and his hand protecting you from hitting your head as you get in the car. Has lists of important days in his notes app, cataloging gifts he could get you and your order at all your favorite restaurants. The perfect silly boyfriend, caring and lovely and everything you need

JAEMIN Marry this man. Has been committed and steadfast in his dedication to you since you met. Extremely serious when it comes to your heart and your feelings. The first to say I love you or to apologize after a fight–would never raise his voice at you or say things he didn’t mean. Is always feeding you, either a complete meal that took him an hour to make or the most perfect bowl of ramyeon you’ve ever had. Constantly sending you pictures of the cats. LOVES pda–kisses you in front of everyone and laughs when they groan, cuddles with you on the practice room couch, and rolls his eyes when the dreamies gag. Always kisses you with soft hands on your cheeks and the prettiest smile. Buys you a keepsake from everywhere they go on tour and gives it to you in a huge suitcase and will not feel ashamed in the slightest. Somehow finds out how to bring you up in every conversation, “oh they really like this song” or “thats actually their favorite movie you know…” you would truly never have to worry about anything with this man, he’s gonna take care of everything, a future airport dad if i’ve ever seen one. Sends tiktoks of cute animals and pouts if you don’t like them right away. Buys you silly sweatshirts and phonecases and demands you wear them proudly as a symbol of his everlasting love. Out of all of the boys, I feel like he is the most likely to give you a promise ring, and in my heart, I know he would have his name engraved on the inside–a quiet confession only the two of you know about. Sleeps directly on top of you, I just know it… holds onto you in every crowd. So many conversations between little kisses and I love yous. Always carries your things, whether it be a bag or shoes that got too uncomfortable his hands are open and ready whenever you need them. The most perfect boy in the world, and whose surprised? 

CHENLE truly your best friend in the entire world, f2l in its entirety… would roast you every minute of every day but if anyone else even dared he is shutting that shit down right away. His arm has a permanent residence on your waist. Giggles at you when you’re annoyed at him but apologizes anyway. Makes you watch him play basketball at 11 pm and laughs when you say you're cold and sleepy, but takes you home right away. Will kiss you in front of anyone–loves it when you get all shy and flustered. Always trying to give you expensive presents and rolling his eyes when you tell him to reign it in. dog dates with Daegal!!! Talks about you so causally that the dreamies didn’t realize you were his girlfriend until he kissed you goodbye, and they were all so dumbfounded. Will watch anything if you like it and will tell you it sucked with a smile on his face before kissing you as an apology. Huge bouquets for any anniversary or birthday. Wraps his arms around you and rocks you around, whispering sweet words that he’d deny if you told anyone about. Stares at you 24/7 and gives you his 100-watt smile. Goes out of his way to help you–buys your groceries, helps wash your hair, picks you up, and takes you wherever you need to go–but always denies it. Begs you to wear his clothes, bonus points if it’s something that has his name on it, or some nct merch. Has an iron grip on your hand at any given point and giggles when you try to get free. Will listen to literally anything you tell him. Smiles into kisses and sighs when you pull away. Is so domestic and lovely in everything he does, even if sometimes he is the biggest menace. 

JISUNG so so so shy, truly does not know how to have a s/o in public lmao. When you’re alone he’s the cutest most confident boy in the world but as soon as there is another person around he does not know you. He makes it obvious that it's just because he’s awkward, but sometimes you definitely do have to tell him to stop being a weirdo and to hold your hand. Constantly makes fun of people with you and is always ready to hear some hot goss. Is always listening to you–even if everyone in the room is talking over you, he will be looking at you with his full attention and urging you to go on. Laughs at everything you say even if it's not funny. Kisses your cheek every morning first thing, and thinks you look so cute cuddled up into the covers. Piggy-backs you everywhere: you drank a little too much or it's too early… up you go! You being comfortable and happy is his priority in any situation, and if anyone including himself is disrupting that he is dealing with it immediately. Whether that means complaining to one of hyungs to help him or going straight to the source of the issue, he’s going to try and help you, even if it’s not like him to speak up for himself–you’re the most important thing to him. Tries to teach you nct dances and gets unbearable secondhand embarrassment when he sees you mess up. Almost exposes your relationship once a month. Is wrapped around you every single moment you’re alone, even if it’s just for a second–someone leaves the room? Jisung is suddenly fully enveloping you. Thinks pda is so embarrassing but would try so hard to be more openly affectionate with you. Blushes to his roots when you sweet talk him no matter how long you’ve been together. Kisses your hands when it’s cold outside and wouldn’t even think about giving you anything of his if you needed it. The sweetest, shyest boy, and so wonderful–loving him and being loved in return would be the loveliest gift.

© LUVTAK

[tsxkkis]

# tsukishima kei - careful

a/n: last of the requested fics (that took me too long to write), i hope the anon who requested it will enjoy it :33 also, my manga collection is growing (five new mangas are coming my way) and let me tell you i'm excited asf !!!!!

summary: you hurt yourself during a volleyball match, and tsukki seems to be worried

warnings: none, reader hurts their finger

'aw, shit.'

you tried to hide it, but everyone inside the gym could clearly hear you hissing in pain after the spike hit your fingers a tad bit too hard, ball falling out of the court right after.

karasuno wasn't a school known for having volleyball prodigies, especially concerning the female team - the girl's skills were far from perfect and thoughts of ever winning a high-school championship could only be a dream out of reach for them. the idea of having a training match with the other team to try and improve their skills against a tougher opponent was surely a great one.

except for the fact that you weren't particularly used to spikes being this strong.

asahi looked in fear at your painful expression as michimiya checked up on you, the older student already walking up to apologize over and over, embarrassed with how he couldn't properly manage the strength of his spike. as he walked under the net, already coming up to you, he realized that he was overtaken by someone already.

'would it kill you to at least try and be more careful for one day?'

tsukishima grumbled to himself, fingers intertwined with yours as he firmly held your hand and dragged you away, making sure you heard the annoyance in his tone. he wasn't mad at you - if anything, he was worried and irritated with the turn of events.

he huffed, motioning for you to sit down at the bench, eyes scanning the gym hall for one of their managers, whom he intended to ask for the tape and bandages, as well as something to reduce the swelling. fortunately for him, he didn't have to ask, as yachi had run to get those things the moment she noticed the accident happen.

the blonde girl smiled at you, crouching down next to the bench.

'i can take it from here-'

'no need.'

she turned to face tsukishima, but he didn't even let her finish the sentence, already grabbing the stuff from her hands as he put the ice pack over your fingers carefully.

'does it hurt?' he mumbled the question, reaching for the bandages.

'you're being so dramatic right now, kei.' your words gained an annoyed huff from him. 'i barely got hit.'

'you didn't answer my question.'

'alright, it hurts a little.' you admitted, trying to move your index finger a few times, a jolt of pain making your face scrunch.

'then it needs to be taken care of.'

the two of you seemed to have ignored the overbearing silence from other club members, most standing over you to make sure you're alright, some still waiting for the match to continue. tsukishima seemed to be in his own little world, completely focused on properly bandaging your fingers, hands carefully wrapping it around, making sure he didn't accidentally hurt you in the process.

there was always some sort of gentleness in everything he did around you; from his eyes, usually so cold and emotionless, that would always stare at you with utmost love and care, to the occasional touches, small and, for some, insignificant, that were more than enough for the blonde to show you that he cares.

whenever with you, his facade would slowly crumble, the true nature behind it out in the open.

'aww look guys, tsukishima is actually not a heartless monster!'

his fingers froze in place, and if it weren't for the fact he was handling you at the moment, tanaka's comment would probably make him leave the gym with an annoyed huff.

the boy turned around for a second, a smile gracing his face.

'that's why the girl i like actually said yes.' he adjusted his glasses, head slightly tilted to the side. 'and how is that going for you?'

you couldn't help but crack a smile at tanaka's enraged expression, the upperclassmen having to hold him back from smacking the blonde first year, all giggling as they watched the scene unfold.

'don't be so cocky, kei.' you mumbled in his ear, standing up from your seat as you nudged your boyfriend's shoulder with your healthy hand. 'i don't think i have to remind you that i had to ask you out because you were too much of a coward-'

'we can leave that out of the conversation.'

taglist: @moonswolfie @wyrcan @kitsune-kita @haechansbbg @luvvrgirll @serotoninbarbz @sugaraddict301

[sweatyracoon]

Kiss Cam

Notes: if anyone has any ideas on things for me to write, feel free to let me know. I need fresh ideas~

Summary: You were at a hockey game, and when the kiss Cam laned on you and the random but cute guy at your side, you didn't know what to do.

Warnings: none? Just cute Seungmin and some fluff. Possible language

You shivered as you felt the chill coming from the ice in front of you.

The game was about to start, and after finding your spot in the audience, you sat for what felt like forever.

You were supposed to be here with your friends,but they cancelled last minute, only allowing you to attend the sports game.

You didn't know much about hockey; it was mostly your friends. You enjoyed the fights that broke out occasionally, but that was about it.

Still, you came anyway, not wanting to waste the ticket.

You put on your sweater as another chill brushed against your skin, feeling the goosebumps rise on your flesh.

A loud buzzer went off before an announcer started to speak, letting us know what teams were playing, and their previous scores.

The lights dimmed lightly, a spotlight shining on the floor of ice, the men slowly skating their way out individually.

You watched, delighted, before hearing a group of boys to your left. They were quiet and respectful of those around them, but you felt a nudge in your shoulder, and then another. You turned.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to bump into you. Are you alright?"

The voice itself was beautiful. When your eyes met his, the slant in his lids hid most of his iris, but his expression almost made his eyes look larger than they really were. His face was long but puffy, giving him the look of a worried puppy.

"I'm okay, thank you," You respond back, thankful for the dim lighting. You could feel the heat reaching your ears, hinting that you were blushing.

He smiled and then nodded before turning to the game that was beginning. You stared a bit longer.

He was wearing a snapback cap with a logo on it. You were sure it was in support of one of the teams, but it was too dark for you to see.

He wore a baggy jersey with a white sleeve underneath, and baggy pale jeans. When he sat, his pants outlined his thin long, legs. His hands were wrapped around a styrofoam cup, filled with some sort of beverage.

The buzzer went off again, snapping your from your thoughts.

One of the teams scored. As the boys jumped up from their spots to cheer, you did as well, suddenly choosing a side. What side? You had no clue.

It was nice seeing the boy next to you smile. It was contagious. It was also then that you caught a glimpse of his braces.

The light refracted from them, letting you see that he opted for no rubber bands. Just the natural silver.

They looked beautiful on him.

"Want some popcorn? I can't have any," He asked you suddenly when you all sat down.

You looked at him with surprise, looking down to see him holding a half empty bag of orange kernals.

"Oh! No thank you, that's very sweet. I don't eat popcorn," That was a lie, but it felt wrong to enjoy something if he couldn't. Not Infront of him at least.

"Me neither. Braces," He pointed out. He didn't physically show you, but you knew anyway.

"Ah...That must suck," You said, turning your full attention to him.

"It really does. I'm Seungmin by the way,"

"Y/n,"

His eyes sparkle a bit, a smile flooding his face. "That's pretty," He muttered more to himself than you, but you heard it anyway.

Break time came up quicker than you expected, meaning there would be games and raffles going on on the ice.

Most of the guys from his side went off to get more food or go to the restroom, but Seungmin stayed and chatted with you.

"What is your job?" He asked you, bringing the straw to his lips.

"I'm an artist. I do paintings and stuff for people. I also sculpt and do interior design. It just depends on what the customer needs," You say quietly, not wanting judgement.

You parents weren't too happy about your occupation, but it made you happy.

Despite thinking that way, you saw his face brighten.

"That's awesome! Maybe you could do one for me? I have so much empty space!" He exclaimed, pulling out his phone.

"Your just trying to make me feel better," you laugh, fisting the material of your pants.

This guy was making your heart flutter, and it made you anxious.

"No, no! I mean it-" He looks up at you. "Hyunjin would think this is awesome too! One of my friends, who happens to be with me tonight, actually," He says, smiling.

"Oh really? Does he do art?"

After you asked, Seungmin pulled up numerous pictures of Hyunjins art, and all you could do was gape at them.

They were beautiful, and all had meaning and expression. Your stuff came from other people's minds while his was from his own.

"Hey Seungmin, I got you another soda," A man with a deep voice said suddenly, making your conversation partner turn.

"Thanks Felix,"

Most of the guys from his side were back, all chatting amongst themselves. They almost seemed like brothers.

Another loose announcement blared overhead, but you barely payed it any mind.

Your conversation with Seungmin was more important to you.

For another seven minutes, the two of you talked without interruption. You found that his favorite color was purple, that he had only had his braces for a year, and that his friends calls him puppy.

You were shocked since you thought he looked like one. Maybe it wasn't just you imagining things.

Before you could continue, Felix nudged Seungmin, making him nearly bump into you.

"Felix, what the hell? Watch what your doing," Seungmin gasped, glaring at his friend.

Felix didn't even apologize. All he could do was giggle and point towards the four screened monster above everyone's heads.

There was a frame around the exterior of the screen labeled, kiss cam, and on that screen was both Seungmin and you.

Your breath caught in your throat, almost choking you. You could hear Seungmin besides you, his breathing not like it was.

"Wait, what?" He whispered, looking at the moniters with confusion.

"Kiss her, man!" One of the boys said besides Seungmin. Blush rised to your cheeks.

"Just do it," another said.

People around you started cheering, including the announcers. Claps could be heard, occasional whistles, and feet stomping on the steel panels below the chairs.

"Kiss cam? Why me?" You screech, looking to Seungmin slowly.

He did the same, his Adams apple twitching as he swallows...hard.

"Come on you two! Just give us a kiss for luck before the game!" One of the announcers say, causing the surrounding people to agree. They started a chant.

The pressure was on.

"Should we just...do it? I don't know if they'll leave us alone until we do," Seungmin whispered to you, making you nod quickly.

There was nothing you could do except follow his words. Your brain was no longer working because of the noise and sudden attention.

It was too much for you.

But you wouldn't deny this beautiful boy a kiss, even if it were under different circumstances.

"Ready?" He asked, his breath against your face.

You didn't realize how close he got. You nod.

"Words, pup," He says again, not moving until your permission is voiced.

"Yes, Seungmin," The pet name he gave you sent a shiver down your spine.

Leaning in, you both finally met in the middle, both of your lips coming together in a gentle twist.

His lips were insanely soft, and his breathing was mixing with yours as your head tilted to the side.

He did the same, allowing the kiss to deepen.

You didn't even hear the cheers or the mocking of his friends anymore. All you could feel was him. All you could comprehend was him.

He was filling your senses to the brim, your hands finding purchase on his broad shoulders.

You smiled against him, pulling away even thought you didn't want to.

He didn't either, because when you pulled away, his lips chased your own, trying to find one another again.

"Well done! A kiss like that will make mighty fine luck!" The announcer yelled, bringing you back to reality.

Your eyes widen as your hand moves to your mouth, covering it in embarrassment.

"I'm so sorry, Seungmin. I got a bit carried away..." You look back at the ice, seeing the game has started yet again.

"No it's alright, I don't mind," He giggles lightly, also turning back to the game.

"I've never kissed someone with braces," You say after a while, not liking the silence between the two of you.

He looked at you with a smirk. "Was it bad?"

"No! Not at all. Quite the opposite, actually..."

His smirk turned into a look of relief. "Thank God," His words made you laugh.

"Could I maybe, get your number, or something?" He asks you. You pull out your phone, handing it to him.

"Absolutely,"

Before the game ended, you both named each other in the others contact, and provided each other a profile picture.

He was your Minnie🐶 and you were his_____.

"I'll message you when we get back to the hotel, okay? Maybe we can hang out or something?" He tells you before you all stood, getting ready to leave.

"I would like that,"

"Me too,"

[bitchinfawkseh]

•♡ Pages of Affection ♡•

Dean Winchester x girly girl reader

Summary: You and Dean go to the library to investigate a case. While searching through some old papers and clippings, you discover a series of old love letters. Dean thinks they're stupid - you think they are romantic. In an attempt to make you feel special, he writes you a love letter.

Word count: 1288

Book after book, page after page, and still nothing. Nothing that would help you with this case or future cases - and Dean's grumbling and complaining was getting annoying. You adjusted the bow that was pinning your hair back away from your face - sometimes it got all slanted and looked weird. And you'd rather not have Dean tease you about it again. "We should have just made Sammy do the research." Dean started. You rolled your eyes and let out a deep, heavy sigh.

"I can't focus when you're whining."

"I'm not whining -"

"You are!" You interrupted, shooting him a mean glare. Dean went silent, and you decided to enjoy it while it lasted. You flipped open an older and more worn heavy book, the edges were frayed, and there were tons of scratches on the cover. Two flimsy pieces of paper fell out, landing in your lap. They looked to be old, too, with how dirty the paper was and how it smelt amazing

You purse your lips together and carefully pick it up, rubbing the material between your fingers. It felt more like parchment rather than modern-day printer paper. "What's that?" Dean asked, trying to peek at the papers. You shook your head and shrugged. You weren't sure what it was until you unfolded it. Messy scrawl and an easily read "My love," addressed at the top. You slowly smiled as you read through the love letter. It was so sweet… so romantic.

My love,

You've been on my mind for quite some time now, and it's getting harder each day to forget about you. I have known you for close to six years now. As time passes, I fall deeper in love with you. Sometimes, it's tough for me to express myself. Whenever I talk to you, I get flustered. Whenever I talk to somebody else about you, I get tongue-tied. You make my heart jump every time I see you. It's crazy that you are oblivious to your effect on me. But that is a part of your charm. The moment I laid my eyes upon you, I knew that my heart would forever be yours. Your beauty, both inside and out, is unmatched, and your kind and loving spirit only adds to my admiration for you.

You are my heart, my soul, my everything. I can not imagine a life without you, and I will do everything in my power to make you happy. I love you now and forever.

Forever yours,

George

"Oh… Dean, look." You said, passing him the letter as you went to read the second one. This might be the sweetest thing you've ever read, this George guy sure had a way with words. Dean watched with raised brows as you scanned the second letter, a soft happy smile on your face. Who knew someone else's love life could make you so happy? He swallowed hard and started to read what you handed him. It was… cheesy to say the least. It sort of made him cringe, to be honest. "You like this stuff?" He snorted.

You frowned. "It's romantic."

"It's cheesy, is what it is."

"He loved whoever he sent this to very much, who cares if it's cheesy?" You asked. Dean cocked a brow and looked you up and down, from your floral dress to your Mary-janes. Something you'd only ever wear if it was a "chill day", when you were out in the action, you'd opt for jeans and boots. "You like this stuff?" He asked. You nodded and your eyes briefly met his. "It's sweet."

His lips thinned slightly, "Huh."

And here he was, hours after you and Sam had both gone to bed, trying to write you a love letter. Dean tried to go with a rhyming scheme for a while - until he tried to rhyme your name with something that wasn't completely stupid and couldn't think of anything and scrapped that idea.

He thought about just copying the love letter you found - or something from online but that would be stupid. You could tell, and it wouldn't show he tried to put any effort in at all. Dean glanced over at your curled-up sleeping form, wearing a cute pink vintage nightgown that you nearly flipped your lid over when you saw it in the thrift store. You did love all of that… girly stuff. It was very endearing.

Then, he suddenly got some inspiration. Dean picked up his pen again, scribbling some things down on the paper. He knew what he wanted to write - but he didn't know how to word it. Dean appreciated you too much for it to be half-assed - or something that could be taken the wrong way with how it was worded.

And soon, the words just started to flow.

The next morning, Dean took you out for a coffee and some pastries at the local shop. The letter he wrote for you was snug in his coat pocket - waiting for your eyes and only your eyes. He swallowed the lump in his throat and wiped one of his clammy palms on the expanse of his jeans as he sat down on the bench next to you. You briefly looked over at him, taking a tiny sip from the herbal tea he had gotten for you. “So, what’s the occasion?” You asked. Dean’s brows furrowed and he chuckled nervously, he swore that his heart was going to beat right out of his chest. “What? No occasion…”

Your eyes narrowed, “Dean.”

“Okay! Okay, I… I have something for you - but don’t laugh, okay?” He swallowed hard and started to dig through his pocket. Your face immediately softened and you turned to face him, whatever it was - it was important to him.

Then, he pulled out a folded piece of paper with your name addressed on the front of it. “I tried real hard, okay? So… don’t laugh.” Dean warned - but with the slight waver in his voice, you could tell that he was very nervous. You took the delicate piece of paper from him and carefully unfolded it. The first line was enough to make your heart swell and for butterflies to form in your stomach.

Hey,

I don’t really know what to write… You know I’m not the mushy-gushy kinda guy, but I wanna try for you. I wanna start this off by saying I think you’re the prettiest woman out there, no doubt in my mind (and the bows you like to wear in your hair are damn cute.) You’re my whole goddamn world… you know, I purposefully try to make you laugh all the time too because it honestly sounds better than any Zeppelin song (don’t tell anyone I said that.) All it needs is a good guitar solo… kidding. Anyway, you’re my sweet girl who adores all that cute girly and flowery stuff, hell, I even let ya put that old heart key chain on my keys for Baby - nobody gets to fuck with Baby, except for you. I love you, more than words can say. I know I don’t tell you a lot, but I do.

I love you.

Your bottom lip jutted out, and you clutched the piece of paper to your chest, “Dean…” He surveyed your reaction carefully with wide eyes. Did you like it? Did you hate it? Finally, you practically threw yourself into his arms and buried your face in the crook of his neck. “This is the sweetest thing ever.” You beamed. Dean let out a relieved chuckle and tightly wrapped his arms around your waist. He (not so) discreetly inhaled the scent of your hair, smiling faintly when the light fragrance of flowers hit him. “Glad ya like it, sweetheart.”

[a-killer-obsession]

Whoops, you got hit by a bus, and now you're in the world of One Piece. But not everything is quite as you remember it...

General Tags: afab reader, she/her reader pronouns, isekai, monsterfucker reader, vampire!kid, werewolf!killer, wyrm!heat, minotaur!wire, everyone has a human form, smut heavy, unhealthy relationships, dubious consent, serious violence, spoilers for Wano arc, starts pre-timeskip. There will be a lot of more intense kinks, please check AO3 for all current tags.

Chapter 2 - To The Brig With Ye

Step 1: Get Heat on your side.

WC: 4.5k

Masterlist | AO3 | Chapter 1

You were surprised to wake up at all when you came to, in what you assumed was some sort of infirmary. The room tilted back and forth slightly, so you assumed you must still be on the ship at the very least. Your eyes fluttered open, finding a face suddenly far too close to your own.

“AHH!” you and Heat both shouted at once, the blue haired man scurrying backwards.

“Heat, for fucks sake I told you not to hover in her face like that!” A feminine voice scolded. You groaned as you tried to sit up, seeing a blue haired woman, her hair wild with spikes that looked like horns, a small set of round glasses, and a black dress bearing some sort of stylized cross. House. She was using a pipette to drip some sort of dark red liquid onto your exposed wound, which looked and felt nowhere near as bad as you thought it would, considering how deep the knife had gone. Your confusion was explained away as the red droplets hit your skin and you watched the flesh begin to sew itself closed, but it only brought up more questions in its place. You'd never seen something like that in One Piece, but then again this world was vast and strange, and people did always seem to heal fast here.

“Sorry, one more minute,” House spoke to you, drawing up more crimson into the pipette and dripping it onto the wound, the last sliver of open wound mending itself closed. “Okay, all done.”

“Uh thanks, House right?” You asked her, running your hand over the healed flesh, not even feeling a scar. It was like nothing had happened at all, save for the rouge red drips of whatever she'd used that remained on your skin before she hurriedly wiped it away with a damp cloth.

“Um, yes,” she replied unsurely, looking to Heat for clarity as she removed her latex gloves and threw them in a nearby bin. She'd seen the entire exchange on the deck, nobody had told you her name, and yet you somehow knew it. House didn't have a bounty poster, as the doctor of the Kid Pirates she hardly ever left the ship, so while it was understandable that you knew who the big four were, there shouldn't have been anyway you knew her name. “I'm gonna go let the captain know she's awake,” she addressed Heat, a distinct nervous tone to her voice, before scurrying out of the room, leaving you alone with the tall man, who shifted his weight between his feet awkwardly.

“What's your name?” He asked shyly.

“[Y/n],” you smiled.

“[Y/n]...” he repeated to himself, a slight blush to his cheeks, “Did you mean what you said?”

“What bit?” You rubbed your eyes with the palm of your hand, trying to piece together what had happened between getting hit by a bus and getting stabbed. “Oh, the sex dream stuff? Absolutely, baby” you winked at him, making him blush even more.

“No!” He choked on his breath, hands waving in defence, “I meant- the isekai bit!!”

“Ohhhhhh,” you blinked slowly, “I mean it's my best explanation for what happened. I'm like ninety-nine percent sure I got hit by a bus, and now I'm here. This whole world is supposed to be fictional, if this is just a dream then I shouldn't have been able to feel pain, but I certainly fucking felt it”

“And that's why you knew House's name?” He asked, stepping a little closer to the edge of the bed.

“Oh, it didn't even occur to me that I shouldn't know it,” you hummed, taking a moment to properly observe the room you were in now. It was darkly decorated in blacks and forest greens, the occasional violet pop of colour, none of the usual sterile whites and creams you'd expect of an infirmary, with two oversized beds (likely meant for larger crewmates), one of which you were currently laying in. Each bed had a side table, a table on wheels that fit over the bed, and a small plain chair for visitors. The whole room was almost a semi circle, save for the section missing on one side where you could see a door, likely to a bathroom. The opposite corner along the flat wall held cabinets and a counter, probably filled with medical supplies, with a small desk in front of it, a chair either side likely for doctor and patient. The beds were also along the flat wall, with a door to your left and another door in the centre of the curved wall in front of you, a small, green velvet couch to its left. The anime and manga had never shown the internals of the ship, but the curved walls and round portholes along them made you wonder if you were inside the forecastle, just behind the large dinosaur skull that acted as a figurehead for the ship. Your eyes came back to Heat, who stood next to your bed, waiting expectantly for an answer. “Yeah I mean, she's not really a well known character, but I guess you could say I'm a big Kid Pirates fan, so I remember a few more obscure characters.”

“From… a manga, you said, right?”

“Yeah. You're familiar with the isekai trope?” you didn't feel like explaining that it was an anime too, you weren't even sure if this world had cartoons.

“I am,” he mused, “and I guess weirder things have happened in this world. But we're gonna need proof, and I don't know how I'm gonna convince Kid”

You thought on that for a moment, “I think I can provide proof,” you mused, “has the crew been to Sabaody yet?”

“No, we're close though,” he told you hesitantly, not sure how much information he should reveal while he not so subtly eyed your body; you'd all but forgotten you were naked. You probably should have covered yourself up but it felt like a bit of a too little, too late situation. The whole crew had probably seen your tits at this point, not that it bothered you much. It wouldn't hurt to placate him either, it would be good to know at least one person on the crew had a fondness for you when it came to convincing Kid to keep you alive. If things really went tits up here you could always try your luck with the Straw Hats, but given the timing that would be difficult, you would have to stay on Sabaody for two years before you could try and join them. Maybe Shakky would let you stay with her in the meantime. Your preference though was to stay with the Kid Pirates, your favourite One Piece crew, and usually the subject of your sexy dreams and explicit fanfiction searches.

Heavy footsteps outside caught both of your attentions, Heat taking a few steps back to stand at a more respectful distance as the infirmary door flew open. Unsurprisingly, Kid stomped in, followed by Killer, and Wire, who shut the door behind him. Kid stood at the end of your bed, looking at you discerningly, an angry scowl on his face.

“Talk,” he said plainly.

“Boss, I think I can explain,” Heat told him, “what she said about isekai, I don't think she's from this world”

“The fuck is ‘isekai’” he growled, billowing his cape up so he could sit on the couch without catching it underneath him. Killer and Wire stood at either side of him like guard dogs, unsure of your capabilities, weary given the fact you'd appeared out of nowhere in the middle of the sea without a devil fruit power to get you here. There was no way of telling what powers you had or how you might suddenly use them.

“It's a trope, in manga,” Heat tried to explain, “the protagonist is sent to another world. Usually they die and get reincarnated, or some sort of god sends them there, to a usually fantasy world. I think that's what happened here, she claims she knows us because we're fiction in her world, and that she appeared here after she died in her world. Its a classic isekai premise.”

“Bullshit, she knows us from our bounty posters,” Kid huffed, unconvinced by Heats explanation.

“She knew House's name,” Heat replied. There was a pregnant silence as Kid considered that, his eyes flicking between you and Heat.

“Okay, so she's… from another world. If I chose to believe that,” Kid grumbled, “and she knows us because what? We're a comic book or some shit? They got comic books about the great Eustass ‘Captain’ Kid over there?”

“Well… they're not really about you per say,” you replied delicately, knowing the truth would piss him off.

“Then who the fuck could they be about?” Kid puffed up his chest, “why would they write about anyone other than the future King of Pirates?”

“They're uh… about Monkey D. Luffy…” you replied quietly. “Not that you're not also a very popular character!” You quickly added.

“STRAW HAT?” Kid roared, spooking you as he suddenly stood, “fucking STRAW HAT gets a comic book? Nah, fuck that, put this lying bitch in the brig.”

“Wait! Wait!” You quickly shouted, climbing further up the bed to avoid Killer's reaching hands, “I can prove it! I can tell you what'll happen when you get to Sabaody!”

“Sabaody is weeks out,” Kid huffed, “I ain't waitin’ for your lyin’ ass to be proven wrong so you can sit around in the meantime and find an opening to kill one of us. Devil fruit or no, you were obviously sent here to stop the best competition for finding the One Piece”

“Really? You think someone sent me here naked? Slammed me against the mast, no weapons, no devil fruit, no fighting skills, to kill you?” You rolled your eyes, “I can give you other proof, I can”

“Then fucking give me your proof, mouse,” Kid growled, the bed creaking as he leaned over you, his hands either side of your body. He probably wanted to intimidate you with his large form, but really it only served to make you a little horny.

“Killer wears purple lipstick,” you hurriedly shouted, the first thing that popped into your head as you searched for information only they should know. The room went silent before Kid suddenly wrapped a hand around your throat. He squeezed it threateningly, then he threw you back with a frustrated growl, letting you go as he moved to leave the room. He gave Killer a knowing look before turning back to Heat.

“Chain her in the brig,” Kid hissed, “I don't know where she learned that but I don't fucking trust her. Put her in iron too, there must be some trick, witch or some shit”

There was a flurry of movement as you were again left alone with Heat, Killer sparing you an unreadable look before slamming the infirmary door, clearly angry. You didn't like that you had to expose him like that, even if everyone in the room likely already knew that information, but it was him or you, and you had to act in self defence. Not that it'd helped in the end though either, as Heat apologetically dragged you off the bed and clamped your arms behind your back, wrapping one large hand around both of your small wrists at once to secure you as he led you out of the room.

Eyes followed you silently as you were led across the deck, still naked as the day you were born, revealing you had in fact been in the forecastle. Heat took you directly across to the rear of the ship, opening a door and leading you through a galley. The short view you got of the galley revealed a long room, with a serving window and counter on the left that peeked through to a moderately sized industrial looking kitchen. On the right was some sort of stage at the very end of the room, short stairs on either side leading up to the platform that currently held a long table surrounded by six chairs, a small liquor bar behind it. On the main floor between you and the stage were five long tables, a bench style seat along either side. The walls were decorated in band posters, bounty posters, photos of the crew together, newspaper clippings and all manner of souvenirs pinned to the walls, covering them in what spoke of a crew that acted more like a family, with many happy memories together all memorialised along the dining hall walls.

Heat led you to a staircase at the left of the room, following you down into a hall that was noticeably colder than above, likely due to being particularly below sea level. There was a short hall that split into two longer ones, they looked as though they made a loop around a center set of rooms, the walls lined with doors, no doubt bedrooms and storage rooms. He didn't lead you down either of the long halls, instead taking you to the end of the short one where a steep staircase, practically a ladder, led even further down to the hull of the ship. Heat gave you a little shove forward and you took the hint with a sigh, at least thankful that he'd let go of your wrists now so you could climb down.

You waited patiently at the bottom of the ladder beside a closed door as Heat climbed down after you. He fiddled with a set of keys that hung from his belt, unlocking the door and opening it, beckoning you to pass through. Inside was a series of cells, four in total, with iron bars at their fronts, each with a set of bare bunk beds with thin, stained mattresses, and a metal bucket in the corner, likely in lieu of a toilet. Unexpectedly, each cell was also trimmed in what looked like some sort of ancient symbols written along the floors and walls, a dark rusty colour that made you wonder if they were written in blood. The writing looked like something straight out of a dark fantasy show, with the occasional recognizable pentagram or latin in neat cursive letters. The doors to all four cells were open, seemingly unoccupied, and Heat gestured for you to enter the second, which sat directly across from a small desk, decorated only with a plain wooden chair and simple lamp.

You stood inside the cell, shivering as the air was considerably colder now that you were well under sea level, chilled by the cold ocean around you. The walls and floors offered no warmth, plated in what appeared to be stone, seastone perhaps. The wall behind the desk was lined with hooks holding multiple sets of cuffs in different styles. Heat selected a set of iron cuffs, with only three links between each wrist, and you sighed as you willingly held your hands out for him. There was no point fighting it, and forcing Heat to subdue you would only go against your plans to bring him to your side.

“Sorry about this,” he said softly as he closed the cuffs around your wrists. His hands were so warm against yours, reminding you of your current frigid situation.

“Can I have a blanket or something?” you pleaded, giving him your best puppy dog eyes.

“I.. I don't know if I'm allowed,” Heat replied, a tint of sadness to his voice.

“Maybe we can trade?” You offered, “I.. I only have my body, but maybe I can give you something in return for a blanket?” Was whoring yourself out a good idea? Probably not, given the circumstances, but you'd freeze to death down here if you didn't at least try. Besides, its not like you didn't want to fuck Heat. At this point you didn't have high hopes for surviving this world, but if you got laid with one of your favs then maybe it'd be at least a tiny bit redeemable.

“A trade?” He raised a brow, “like what?”

“What do you want?” You asked him, using your best sultry voice, experimentally pressing a hand to his chest and running it down slowly, pleasantly surprised when he didn't shy away from you. He shivered at the touch, your skin bare against his as your hand reached the bottom of his corset.

“Fuck, okay,” he growled, looking back at the door to the brig to check he had shut it, “on your knees, for a blanket”

“Yes sir,” you purred, perhaps a little too eager for Heat's dick. You would have traded a blowjob for a corn chip, if you were being honest with yourself. You fell to your knees slowly, trailing your fingertips down his midriff till they caught on the belt of his baggy pants. Raised on your knees, you could barely reach the flesh of his abdomen with your mouth as you hooked your fingers in the metal loops on his belt and used it as leverage to lower his pants, pressing your lips to the newly exposed flesh. He made a sharp exhale as your tongue came out to run over the V that led to his cock, pulling his pants down teasingly slowly and looking up at him with sultry eyes as his hand buried in your hair. Finally his pants lowered enough to expose his cock, long and girthy even at half mast, slightly more bulbous at the end with a set of three piercings along the underside, another at the tip, and a base of blue public hair, slightly darker than the hair on his head. He shivered as the cool air touched his exposed cock, quickly overruled by a groan as you took it in your bound hands and pumped the base, promptly becoming erect from your firm, warm touch.

“You have no idea how badly I've wanted to do this,” you purred, pressing your tongue to the tip, playing with the piercing and rolling your tongue over the fat head of his dick. He groaned as you took the end in your mouth, only taking a third of him as you began to bob your head, stroking the rest with your hand as you slowly adjusted and took a little more with each movement.

“Oh fuck, that's good,” Heat groaned, his hold on your hair tightening as you slowly worked towards taking all of his impressive length into your eager mouth, drool starting to drip down your chin as you focused on not gagging, breathing through your nose to suppress your natural urges. Your eyes watered as he started to hit the back of your throat, his hips making small thrusts in time with your movements, trying his best to hold back from just grabbing your skull and face fucking you. He'd been pent up for a while now, with a long stint between islands with working women, and a distinct lack of women in the meantime who were willing to risk their safety to sleep with the tall, stitched up man. By all accounts he looked terrifying to most women, so your willingness to get on your knees was certainly a nice surprise, seemingly having no issue with the way he looked. He felt bad at first for taking advantage of you, but the way you kept eye contact and hollowed your cheeks around his cock told him you wanted this, that the blanket was just an excuse to get in his pants. Really he should be the one feeling used, but he couldn't bring himself to feel anything but euphoric with the divine way your mouth was working his cock.

You paused as your nose hit his pubes, your now idle hands coming up to play with his balls, gagging a little as you swallowed around his cock. “Ohhhh fuck,” Heat groaned, looking down at you with his dick fully burried in your hot wet mouth. “Look at you, taking it like a proper slut, you like that huh? Like having my cock down your throat?”

You pulled off his cock with a pop as your thighs rubbed together in a desperate need for friction, you wouldn't be surprised if you were dripping on the floor at this point from how wet you were. “I'd like it better in my cunt,” you replied, stroking him with both hands, hoping above all that he'd take the bait and fuck you silly.

“Yeah? And what would you want to trade for that, huh?” He growled, wondering what game you were playing to be so willing, questioning whether this really was just a trick.

“One of your blankets,” you purred, running your tongue up the underside of his cock and feeling the piercings roll against it. “I want one that smells like you”

“Why are you so obsessed with me?” Heat replied, genuinely taken aback by your answer. He'd never known a woman to want him that bad, let alone just want something that smelt like him. It was making him feel sparks of something unfamiliar, possessiveness perhaps, fondness definitely.

“Because you're sweet, and you're sexy, you're one of my favourites,” you shrugged, “are you gonna fuck me or not? The stone is hurting my knees and my cunt is fucking dripping”

“Fuck,” Heat huffed, pulling you by your hair to stand and crashing his mouth against yours, groaning as he found you more than willing to return his affections. He walked you backwards until your body was flush with the cell wall, nipping at your bottom lip before he pulled away and spun you to face the wall. You arched your back and stuck your butt out for him, your tits squished against the stone as Heat admired your round ass. He gave it a playful spank, making you whine, before he grabbed handfuls of your ass cheeks and pulled them apart to admire your soaked pussy. “Fuck, you weren't lying, you're really fucking wet”

Unable to resist a taste, he knelt behind you and buried his face in your center, motorboating your cunt, your slick coating his face. He groaned against your pussy as his tongue zeroed in on your clit, making you moan and push back against him. His hands held your ass firmly, squeezing it to keep you in place as he sucked and lapped at your clit, before standing back up, running his tongue over your entrance and asshole as he moved.

“So fucking wet for me, so sweet too,” he groaned, taking his cock in his hand and lining it up with your needy entrance, your hips wiggling as you whined pleadingly. “Hold still, fuck,” you only managed to still for a moment before he pressed in, bullying his tip inside you and stretching your underprepared cunt wide. “Ah fuck, so tight,” he grunted as he slid inside you, bringing one hand to your mouth to clamp over it and muffle your sounds as you began to scream at the stretch.

His fingers slid into your mouth and you sucked them greedily, moaning around them as he bottomed out inside you. “Good girl, fuck, good little slut,” he groaned, giving you only a moment to adjust before he was dragging back out again, leaving only his tip inside you as he slammed back in. His fingers left your mouth so he could hold your hips firmly, fucking you hard and fast with the intention of making you both cum quickly before anyone caught you in the act, his cock heavy against your g-spot and stimulating it deliciously with every hard thrust he made. Your palms were flat against the wall, holding you steady as your body took the brunt of each impact, breasts grazing on the stone wall and drool transfering to the cool surface as Heat fucked you mercilessly.

He pulled you a little away from the wall, your tits now bouncing with every thrust as they hung freely until Heat reached underneath you and grabbed them, pulling you up and holding you with your back flush to his chest, one hand groping your tits still while the other wrapped around your throat, slowly travelling upwards till his fingers were buried in your mouth again, muffling your moans against the wet slapping of his body against yours. His teeth grazed your neck, wishing he could sink his fangs into you as they grew in his mouth, canines extending unbeknownst to you and running over your skin, knowing if he made a mark he would be caught. He was having trouble keeping in control of himself as you sucked on his fingers and your pussy fluttered around his cock, gummy walls clamping down around him as your eyes rolled back and you came on his cock without warning. A creamy ring formed around his base as he kept fucking you hard, chasing his own high now and trying to figure out where would be appropriate to cum.

“Get on your knees again,” he ordered, pulling his fingers from your mouth and withdrawing his throbbing cock from your cunt. You dropped to your knees willingly, opening your mouth invitingly for him with your tongue stuck out. He considered just jerking himself off over your face, painting your pretty fucked out expression with his cum, but worried about your inability to clean yourself off down here, so instead he shoved his cock down your throat, holding your hair with both hands as he began to use you rougher than he intended. You moaned around him at the surprising treatment, eyes streaming with unintentional tears as his cock gagged you with every hard thrust, until he finally stilled with his shaft balls deep in your mouth and you felt the hot cum pouring down your throat, his hands pulling your hair while he grunted. You shivered at the feeling, almost cumming again from it, playing with your oversensitive clit as he unloaded in your mouth. He pulled away slowly, the last drops of cum spilling against your tongue as you licked the tip. He slapped your cheek with his softening cock, giving you an appreciative grin as he slid his finger into your still open mouth and played with your tongue.

“I hope Kid decides not to kill you,” he mused as he helped you to your feet, pinning you against the wall again, his hand running up your thigh and hip till it came to rest at your waist. “Would be a real shame to waste a good set of holes like that”

“Tell him to come try me himself, maybe that'll convince him,” you suggested, “unless you wanna keep me all to yourself”

“Mm, tempting,” he mused, running a thumb over your bottom lip, “I don't mind sharing though, besides, I doubt I could keep you to myself even if I wanted to if one of the others decided they wanted a turn. Maybe we'll make you our ship whore”

“I'm not opposed to that,” you purred. Heat made a huff and started stepping away.

“Fuck, you really are a Kid Pirate fan huh?” He laughed, “I'll get you your blanket, but be a good girl and behave yourself until I can convince Kid to let you go”

“I'll be on my best, naughtiest behaviour,” you winked, shivering a little now that you didn't have his warm body to keep you heated. He frowned as he watched you shiver, realising how much you really did need the blanket.

“I'll find you some clothes too,” he said softly before turning to leave, disappearing before you even had a chance to respond.

[Next Chapter]

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[mikobeautifulheart]

Calling you their girlfriend

When your not actually together (yet). *Not proof read

(Btw use of the word girlfriend and mentions of death and corpses.)

INCLUDING: Megumi and Yuji

~Megumi~

You slowly opened your eyes and started to pull your stuff together. You stood up, not paying attention to the large gash on your leg bleeding out.

Instead you let out a sigh and walked past what was left of Nanami's body, You made your way through Shibuya station before setting your eyes on the unconscious body of Megumi. You leaned down and slung his arm around the back of your neck. Being totally honest you didn't even know if Megumi was alive, regardless you were going to get Megumi ('s body) out of there.

It was hard, he was taller and heavier then you but you still somewhat dragged his body out of there only to be met with Ichiji's corps on the floor. You kept staring at it until you felt Megumi's weight leave you, making you turn your head to see Shoko and other sorcerers attending to peoples wounds.

"Y/n are you okay? Y/n?"

You heard her voice fine but all you did was stare at her, empty and exhausted.

"Make sure Megumi's alright" Was the last thing you remember before blacking out.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

"No, you HAVE to let me see her"

It was a familiar low voice, one you were fond of.

"Sorry but she's in no condition to see visitors right now."

"Will she die if she sees me?"

"No but-"

Yeah it was Megumi's voice, that means he is okay then.

"Then i'm going in"

The door slowly slid open and that was the first time you opened your eyes after Shibuya. The thought of Megumi coming to visit you made your head spin (in the good way) even if he did come out of curiosity at least it meant he sort of cared about you.

"We can't just let anyone get in there"

"She's my girlfriend" he said agitated.

Your heart started pumping and your cheeks were pink. No that couldn't be Megumi then, it was probably a dream. There was nothing between you guys other then being class mates. You sunk back into disappointment and closed your eyes so you didn't have to see the imaginary situation unfold.

The room was silent and suddenly you felt a rough hand hold yours, and a gentle thumb rub. Your breath hitched, if it was a dream this feeling wouldn't be so... real.

"Sir, your going to have to leave or i'll call security"

he turned his head, about to say something.

"If he leaves i'll die" You said with a raspier voice then you remembered.

He whipped his head around so fast, confirming in your mind that this was real. He squeezed your hand tighter as your eyes wandered to the bandage on his arm.

"You were out pretty bad huh? Are you okay?" you asked.

The nurse took that as her que to leave.

"About that. I don't really know what to say because saying thank you dosen't really measure up to how grateful I am to you."

"Eh w's nothing" you mumbled slightly embarrassed.

"I heard you outside there, nice save with the girlfriend thing." you said trying to change the subject.

"Yeah...I guess." He said, the tip of his ears turning pink.

"I'm just glad your better Megumi" You said sensing how unconfutable he felt after your comment.

"Look y/n I-I know were just friends or classmates or whatever you think but I...I really like you more then that."

You let out a giggle

"I like you more then that too."

-Yuji-

Yuji is a calm guy, he's rational and friendly. So why is it now that in the deepest part of his chest did he feel some stirring frustration?

For weeks he's been getting to know everyone at Jujutsu high and you were no exception. Out of everyone he knew you were the one he would hang out with most. Something about your nature kept drawing him in, leave him wanting for more. All those late nights at each others dorms, walks around the city when you finished your missions together and going to the cinema when you both had time off.

You had grown on Yuji and he trusted you, that's why he was clenching his fists and smiling when he heard one of the Kyoto school guys asked if you were busy after the event.

Its not like he had any right to interfere with your friendships anyway, he knew that he was just a friend right now and if you wanted to hang around the Kyoto students then that was your choice.

But Yuji just couldn't shake the torment of the guys smile when ever you laughed at his crappy jokes.

"Ah Yuji there you are, what the hell do you think your doing here!? We were supposed to met at- HEY DON'T WALK AWAY FROM ME!" Nobora yelled as she watched Yuji stand up in some sort of trance and slowly walk toward you.

"Oh hey Yuji, I was just talking to some of the Kyoto students, this guys a fan of movies to!" You smiled brightly.

"Nice to met you" The guy smiled at Yuji reaching his hand out for Yuji to shake.

"You to, so y/n tells me you like movies?" Yuji put on an innocent grin.

"Yeah, bit of a film expert actually." he chuckled looking at you.

"Wow, must be nice I don't usually get the story first time round, luckily my smart girlfriend rants to me about it after." Yuji said with a checkmate look on his face.

"Honestly sometimes I zone out but I like letting her pretty lips run, its music to my ears."

You felt your face heat up, there's a chance Yuji made a mistake- he couldn't have possibly just called you his girlfriend, right?

"Honestly I must be the luckiest man alive because y/n is was out of my league."

The Kyoto student also turned red. All he could do was mutter a 'yeah' and walk away dissapointed.

Yuji stood there grinning before thinking abut what he had actually done. What a jerk he though.

Suddenly he felt an arm link onto his making him look down surprised.

"I'm so glad to have such a lovely boyfriend too." You said smiling brightly.

"S-sorry y/n I don't know what got over me haha..." He trailed off hoping the earth would swallow him whole.

"Well maybe if you take me to the cinema tonight I'll forgive you."

He turned his head back to you and beamed.

"Your going to have to explain it to me after though."

THANK YOU FOR READING ♡

AUTHOURS NOTE: Teheh I think if this post goes well i'll make a part 2. My inboxes are empty so... Reblogs r welcomed. Have a good whatever time.

[ppnuggiex]

　　��　　　OCTATRIO x gn reader

　　　　『　azul ,, jade ,, floyd ,, gender neutral reader 』

　　-> taking interest in their mer form

　　— fluff ,, sfw ,, crack ,, vulnerability from jade and azul ,, floyd being a pain in the ass

　　— some headcannons and writing blurbs for octatrio <3 they mean sm to me . might make dating hcs of them but genderswapped ,, or like dating them but theyre girls yknow ? 😭 i stumbled across some oneshots of them as girls on ao3 and now im becoming addicted to fem azul 😿🙏 also made little divider things <3 i kinda like them but they wouldnt become transparent 🤬🤬 so theyre just white n stuff 😞😞 as always enjoy and feel free to request :D

| • getting azul to trust you enough to show his merform took quite a while ,, a lot of patience and reassurance but it was worth it in the end

| • long tentacle arms expanding and curling with himself ,, flexing suction cups and reaching afar to stretch

| • face tinted red ,, glasses covering his eyes as he glanced downwards ,, his lips turned out in a pout as you gazed at his form

| • he was so sure you'd be disgusted ,, tell him never to contact you ever again ,, leaving him there in shambles with his heart broken

| • yet it never happened ,, rather the opposite instead ,, your eyes wide with excitement but voice soft and calm as to not spook azul more than he already was

| • a small " may i ?" with your hands outstretched towards him ,, ready to examine him as much as he'd let you

| • he'd only nod slowly ,, arms curling within himself once again and eyes darting around all over to ensure no one was near to see the sight before him ,, or in case he needed a quick getaway

| • azul is quite touch starved and touch sensitive ,, not used to having someone's hands over him in any sort of form ,, other than in violent means

| • how gentle you treat him ,, as though he were to wither away under your touch ( which he did feel like doing )

| • everything down under his consent ,, and his supervision of course ,, your brain and curiosity end up satiated ,, pressing a small kiss to azul's cheek in thanks for this memory

| • treasuring every touch you can get ,, reassuring azul that he's quite a beauty rather or not he thinks so ,, and last but not least a thank you for allowing this ,, for letting him trust you this much and that you would never break said trust

-

        cool to the touch yet smooth ,, your fingertips roamed over one of his appendages . azul sucked in a breath ,, eyes fixated on your fingers and awaiting for any depricating comments from your lips . though he never expected you to smile and whisper praises to him . " you're quite beautiful , azul ." it was small and short ,, yet it meant a lot to him . " i do absolutely adore the gradation from black to purple here ,, its quite lovely if i say so ." you murmured under your breath ,, eyes raking over his form as you played with the suction cups on the underside of his appendage .

        your eyes glanced back up ,, meeting azul's as they took in every movement of yours . " thank you for this azul ." you whispered ,, hands leaving his tentacle to wrap around his neck as you coddled against him . " i understand how private this is for you ,, how important it is . i really appreciate this azul ,, i'm proud of how far you've gotten ." you whispered against him ,, eyes still holding his as tears welded up in his soft iridescent gaze . his arms slowly wrapped around you ,, chest heaving as he tried to keep his composure around you . yet the more you sung genuine praise ,, the more his heart clenched in his chest and the faster his tears started to roll down his face .

        he allowed himself to bury his face in your neck ,, soft cries being blocked against your skin as your hand rubbed against his back ,, lips pressing kisses to his shoulder as you let him be vulnerable . " its okay azul ,, go ahead and let it out . i'm here for you ,, i promise ." you said ,, feeling his tentacles creep across your skin to wrap themselves around your torso . just this one moment ,, this shared memory of yours ,, he let his walls down and let you in ,, the vulnerability of his current state . your lips pressed another kiss to his shoulder ,, hearing his sobs start to die down as you rest your head against his shoulder .

| • its not often that hes surprised or caught off guard ,, like in this instance for example

| • he has caught your gaze before whenever he happened to be in his more natural form ,, how your eyes would eye him up and down

| • yet you never said a word about it once ,, keeping all your thoughts to yourself ,, all your secrets locked away

| • jade had gotten curious himself ,, curious of what you thought of him in this state ,, though he was never self conscious about it once

| • it didnt bother him whether or not you liked his natural state more than his more humane one ,, it wasnt of his concern to know or need that information

| • and it surely settled that way in his mind ,, at least until he got closer to you until eventually you both ended up together in a relationship

| • he couldnt contain the thoughts clouding his mind ,, it was near impossible to put a lid on them ,, as they would come back in a mere few hours to haunt him again

| • so when you asked to see his merform ,, he was quite ecstatic ,, caught offguard yet it wasnt an ask he would refuse

| • with the two of you in one of octavinelle's pools ,, alone together with jade in the water floating about ,, you on floor of the room with wide eyes and a smile ,, jade contemplated the emotions he felt

| • somewhat vulnerable ,, yet not in a bad way he supposed ,, watching as your eyes gazed all about him before you asked if you could touch him

| • his heart may have fluttered at that ,, but he wouldnt allow you to know that ,, eyes lidded as he swam closer to the edge of the pool and letting you feed your curiosity

-

        your hands reached out to the finals where his ears wear ,, stroking one softly with your thumb as jade laid his head in your lap . " enjoying yourself pearl ?" his sultry voice asked ,, mismatched eyes gazing into your own as he allowed you to fuel your curiosity . " yes ,," was all you could muster out ,, allowing your hands to trail over his scales coating his neck ,, collarbone and dragging down his arms . he was muscular ,, though not as much as jack was . you could still feel the flesh as your fingertips glided alongside his upper arms ,, digging in gently before moving on .

        jade could feel his heart pick up pace slightly ,, eyes widening slightly as your eyes shined ,, enthralled and mesmerized by his luxurious scales . you didnt notice ,, too busy being entranced at the gradation of his scales ,, eyes glazing over little nicks and scars he's gotten over the years .

| • similar to jade ,, hes been in his more natural state around you ,, noticing your staring and has teased you for it before

| • he'll call you out on how rude it is to stare before grabbing you off the ground and dragging you into the pool with a loud giggle

| • " shrimpy's so silly ! if you wanna look or touch ya just gotta ask small fry ,," he'll remark as he rubs his cheek against yours with his long body coiling around you

| • even then it takes you a while to finally ask ,, a gentle night at the beach during sprink break having mustered up enough courage to ask

| • floyd didnt mind ,, enjoying your flustered state as he allowed you to rub your hands on his scales

| • who knows he may try to get you to itch a spot for him that he cant reach ,, or splash water onto your face with his tail

| • he'll laugh as you grumble about ,, trying to wipe the water away only to be met with even more water ,, this time using his hands instead of his tail

| • when joining him in the water you have to be careful of what you do ,, after all if you do try to run from his grip he'll only take it as indication that you wanna play chase

| • like a snake he'll slither within the water ,, hands reaching out to grab at you and pull you close to him

| • on days he happens to be more chill for the time being he lets you gaze all over ,, not bothering to call you out on your obsessive staring

| • its moments like these that you can observe floyd in his beauty ,, rather than trying to escape it

-

        " floyd !" you grumbled as he splashed water at your face ,, causing you to squeeze your eyes shut . " for five seconds can you not splash me ?" you asked. he could only shrug ,, dorky smile on his face . " shouldn't have been starin' ,," is all he'll say ,, waiting for you to open your eyes only to splash you again . at that moment ,, you didnt care anymore and lunged forward at him ,, arms wrapping around his neck as you tried to splash water into his face as payback .

         unfortunately for you ,, he'd already dived underwater and dragged you along with him without warning . when you let go and resurface ,, he's at the other end of pool laughing at your flailing arms . " for one minute can i admire you ?!" you huffed ,, glaring over in his general direction as you swam towards the ledge of the pool . it doesn't take long until hes coming up right behind you ,, grabbing at your waist and bringing you back to him . " all you had to do was ask shrimpy ." he'll say as he floats along his back ,, you ontop of him and in his arms as he lets you look him over with adoration in your eyes .

[tangledinink]

Chapter Twenty-Five of I'm Sorry, Teenage Mutant What Now? is now up! There's a certain theme in this chapter you'll never guess what it is. Read it on ao3 or below the cut.

[ prev ]

“Alright. So,”

Mikey stared up at his older brother curiously, leaning against Leo slightly, the two of them settled down on the couch. Donnie was perched on the arm of the opposite side, slumped slightly and tapping away at his phone-- but also clearly listening to their eldest brother, stood up before them in the Lair as if he was about to give a presentation.

“About the whole… turtle thing,”

Donnie immediately sighed, making a face, and Raph threw up his hands in protest.

“I ain’t even said anything yet!” He cried, exasperated, and Donnie shot him a dry look.

“Yes, and I already dislike it.”

“Aw, come on, Dee, give him a chance!” Mikey protested, picking his head up so he could offer Raph an encouraging little grin. He knew this wasn’t exactly, like, a favored topic of discussion in the household, but it wasn’t like they could just ignore it, either! At least not all the time.

“Okay, so, I’ve been thinkin’ about it a lot lately, and don’t y’all kind of think that it might sort of be… safer?”

“No,” Donnie said.

“Donnie…!”

“He has a point!” Mikey protested, crossing his arms over his chest. “I mean, we have shells when we’re all turtley. If Raph had been a turtle on our last ninja mission, his ribs wouldn’t have gotten all messed up!”

“Exactly!” Raph said, pointing, seeming very pleased that at least one of his brothers was offering some support. “Look, I know you guys don’t like it, and that’s… fine! I mean, I’m not askin’ ya to like it! I just think, maybe, it’s somethin’ we should consider for at least, like… ninja mission stuff?”

Leo wrinkled his nose, seeming unconvinced to say the least.

“I dunno,” he said. “I mean. Yeah, sure, I guess, arguably, they’re a bit more sturdy, but… we’re not really used to even walking in those bodies yet. Let alone fighting! I know adrenaline is a kickass drug and all, but doesn’t it kind of seem like more risk than it’s worth?”

“You still can’t walk?” Mikey questioned, giving Leo a curious look, his brows furrowed.

Leo paused, slowly turning his head to give Mikey a long stare, his expression strained.

“... Excuse me?”

Mikey frowned, tilting his head to the side. “I can help if you want! It’s not that hard once you get the hang of--”

“I’m sorry,” Donnie interrupted, his head snapping around. “Are you implying that you have been spending your free time willingly futzing around in a mutant turtle body just for the fun of it?”

Now it was Mikey’s turn to stare, his head bobbing around from brother to brother, trying to see if either of them were joking-- waiting for someone to say psyche.

Wait, were they for real?

“... None of you have checked yourself out in turtle form at all?” He gawked.

“No! Why would we?!” Leo cried, throwing up his hands.

“‘Cause! That’s, like, us!” Mikey argued, throwing his hands up in turn, imitating his brother. “You’re seriously telling me you’re not even a little bit curious!? You guys are all just ignoring it!? We find out that we have magick mutant animal forms, like, freakin’ animorphs, and you don’t even wanna bother seeing if we have any cool powers or turtle abilities or anything?!”

“Have you actually read the Animorph books? Because if you did I’m pretty sure--”

“That’s not the point!” Mikey interrupted Donnie with a whine. “When I’m a turtle, I can, like, go inside my shell! If some bad guy was trying to, like, stab me or something, I’d be totally screwed,” he argued, crossing his arms firmly over his chest with a pout. “But if I was a turtle, I could just pop into my shell and I’d be totally okay!”

“I cannot believe what I’m hearing right now,” Leo muttered. “We find out that we’re secretly freakish mutant reptiles, and you think it’s a fun hobby--”

“I’m not saying that, Leo!” Mikey protested. “But what’s the point in just ignoring it? If you don’t check it out, you’re never gonna get used to it. Besides, Raph is right!”

“Thank you, Mikey,” Raph sighed. “You guys don’t have to do it all the time or anything! I just think… It might be a worthwhile option to explore. I don’t want anyone getting hurt,” he sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, his eyes kind of sweeping over them all, as if he were making sure they were all still here and uninjured and accounted for.

“Plus, it’s kind of cool once you get over the whole, like, world-shattering parts of it!” Mikey chirped, moving to grab at his bracelet. “Here, watch, lookit what I can do--”

Both twins immediately slapped hands over their eyes, loudly protesting in tandem.

“Don’t you dare--!”

“I am not looking and you cannot make me--”

“Hamato Michelangelo if you take off that fucking bracelet right now I will murder you--”

“I am OPTING OUT, thank you VERY MUCH, we are so not doing this today!!!” Mikey blinked in surprise, and then absolutely scowled, releasing his hold on the bracelet. Oh, so Donnie could go have a breakdown in the Hidden City in his turtle form, but he wasn’t allowed to show them his shell thing!? So unfair… 

“You guys are being babies!”

“Nope! Nope, not today! I’m out! Fuck this!” Leo responded, hopping up to his feet and making a hasty retreat towards the Lair stairs. “You play turtle all you want, I am not involved!”

“Agreed,” Donnie huffed, and he was right behind his twin.

And then there were two of them left in the Lair.

Mikey sulked, sinking back down onto the couch and pursing his lips. “Aw, come on…”

Raph watched the other two go, laughing kind of nervously before he hesitantly moved to join the other, sitting down beside him. “Sorry, big man,” he said, ruffling his hair gently. “You can still show Raph if you want?”

Mikey sighed. “Maybe later,” he said, wrinkling up his nose. “I thought they’d at least be kind of okay with it by now! I mean, it’s been how long?”

“I think it’s just… a little harder for them than it is for you,” Raph said with a weak shrug, hesitating a bit, and Mikey frowned, turning his head slightly so he could catch Raph’s eyes.

“What about you?”

Raph laughed sort of nervously, looking to the side.

“Well. I mean. I don’t… like it. I mean. I ain’t you. But it’s… it’s… alright. I mean. I meant what I said! It might be good for us. Keep us safe ‘n all.”

Mikey raised a brow. “And…?”

Raph hesitated for a bit, and sighed. “I mean. Look, Mikey, it’s a little… scary. I’m a lot bigger than you guys! And… sharper!”

“Yeah, but you’re always bigger than us!” Mikey protested, leaning against his brother, burrowing up against him. 

“Yeah, I know,” Raph said. “And that was scary once, too. But it’s… It’s fine. I dealt with it,” he said, shrugging a little, frowning to himself. “So now I just gotta…” He broke off briefly, setting his expression for a moment. “Now I just gotta learn it again. That’s all.”

He sighed very softly. And Mikey frowned a little.

“I’m used to being big and scary. I’m used to people being afraid of me sometimes,” he said. “So. It’s nothin’ I can’t handle.” 

“Yeah, but…” Mikey began slowly, kind of shrugging a bit. “I mean. We’ve never been scared of you or anything. You know that, right? We don’t care if you’re bigger than us,” he pointed out. “We never have! And we don’t care if you’re spiky, either, I mean… all our turtle forms are weird.” 

Raph forced a small laugh.

“Yeah. Yeah, I know,” he said, sort of waving off his concerns. “That’s not… I mean. I dunno, Mikey, it’s just sorta complicated. I mean. There’s just kinda… there’s less things you can be when you’re big, you know?” He said slowly, resting his chin in his hand. “It’s… you know. It’s hard, sometimes. Being strong and careful at the same time. Even when people aren’t careful with you. And making sure you don’t hurt anyone and… all that.” His eyes looked a tiny bit far off for a moment, like he was remembering something. “And… you guys can kinda do whatever you want! You can be all… little or bouncy or feminine or cute or delicate or whatever the hell else, and you just… can’t really do that stuff when you’re big. Once you get big enough, you just kinda gotta… There’s just stuff you can’t do anymore.”

Mikey paused a moment.

This was… the first he was ever hearing of this.

Was this… really how Raph thought?

“Yeah, you can!” He protested, his brows twitching a bit, furrowing as he stared up at his brother. “Raph, of course you can be all that stuff! Why couldn’t you!?”

Raph scoffed, shooting the other this little half-hearted half-smile. “Well, I mean, I guess I technically can? It’s just not as simple as it is for you guys,” he said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “I mean, you guys can do half of that stuff without even trying! And no one would even bat an eye. But it’s just… It’s not really the same for me? It’s like…” he scoffed softly, seeming almost amused. “Raph can pick up the rest of ya, but none of you could pick up Raph! It’s a little different!”

Mikey pursed his lips, giving Raph a pointed scowl.

“Well, you’ve never let any of us try,” he argued. And Raph laughed.

“Yeah, ‘cause you’d hurt yourself!” He teased, and Mikey socked him in the arm without too much heat to it.

“You don’t know that! We’re way stronger than we look!” He insisted. “And all that other stuff! I mean-- you could totally do that stuff, Raph! Just because you’re bigger doesn’t mean you can’t be cute!!! What kind of--!? I mean!!! Raph!!!”

He jumped forward, grabbing onto his brother’s face so he could stretch and squish his cheeks angrily.

“You’re already cute all the time, idiot!!! You don’t have to be small to be cute!!! That’s stupid!!!”

Raphael scoffed, laughing loudly, trying to bat Mikey away, though Mikey was suddenly aware, in a way that he usually wasn’t, that he was taking care to temper his strength. He wasn’t just batting at Mikey the way Mikey would bat at him. Every movement he made was careful and deliberate and planned. He thought about every jab or swipe that he made at his siblings.

Mikey was almost ashamed that he had never thought about his before.

He was never gentle with Raph when he jumped on him or grabbed at him or climbed on his shoulders because it never felt like he had to be. Raph was over a foot taller than him. He probably had at least a hundred pounds on him. Mikey had always been the smallest, and while he certainly wasn’t weak by any means, Raph was a goddamn wall of muscle. An unstoppable force! He had never met anything that Raph couldn’t push and bend and sway if he tried hard enough. So every time they met an obstacle, they all just… looked at him and waited for him to take care of it.

He… Yeah.

He was big.

Mikey supposed he had always looked at his brother and came to that conclusion, and then never thought any further on the subject. He had always expected Raph to be big and strong and sturdy. He had never wondered if he wanted to be anything else. 

Why did he do that?...

Mikey let go of Raph, and he climbed back down off of him, sitting next to him on the couch instead of half on top of him. And he sighed deeply. 

“You’re not scary,” Mikey said after a second, blinking slowly as he slowly settled back down on the couch. “And you can do all that other stuff, if you want to. We would let you,” he pressed. And he frowned, and he kept quiet for a moment.

“... I’m sorry it feels harder,” he finally said, tilting his head to the side slightly. “And… we’re not always careful with you.”

Raph stared at him for just half a second, hesitating for only the slightest moment before laughing again and waving him off. “What are you talkin’ about? You don’t gotta apologize, none of ya’ did anything wrong! This is Raph’s thing. It ain’t your problem,” he insisted, but Mikey wasn’t so sure that that was exactly the case.

He would work on it. 

Because Mikey was suddenly so, so sure that this was something he wanted to fix. And something that he could do. 

This was still the something that he could give to them.

“Still,” Mikey finally said, shrugging a bit and taking a long breath before getting up to his feet. “Do you still wanna see me do the shell thing? It’s really cool!” He offered, wiggling his brows at his older brother, and he chuckled in reply, nodding.

“Yeah. Yeah, sure, big man, show me your thing,” he invited, and Mikey grinned.

---

“Raph!” Mikey chirped excitedly, spinning around on his heels so that his back was facing the older brother. “Here! Les’ play piggyback!”

“Okay!” Raph agreed easily, absolutely beaming at the invitation, wasting no time in scampering over to Mikey. Their trip to the zoo, which had so far been absolutely abound with all sorts of excitement, to Mikey’s absolute delight, had taken a short departure from the previous energy while their dad tried to calm a squabble between his other two brothers. This was a bit less to Mikey’s delight. He wasn’t really sure what they were carrying on about, ‘cause he hadn’t really be paying attention. Those two were always fighting about something. He thought maybe it was about hair? Whatever. The point was, just sitting here and listening to them whine was boring.

But playing piggybacks?! That was fun! They could make a game out of it or something--

“Jump on--”

Their dad paused from his current task in peacemaking, however, just long enough to grab Raph by the shoulder right as he was about to make good on his baby brother’s invitation and jump on top of Mikey’s back. Before it even began, the game came to a grinding halt.

“You’re too big for that, Red, you’ll hurt him,” Dad bit out quickly, sparing them the most momentary of glances. “Play a different game.”

And just like that, he was back to his previous duty, trying to talk the twins through their latest drama in between their protests and tears.

Mikey paused, blinking in surprise as he processed this. 

They couldn’t play piggyback? But…

“No fair…” He whimpered, his lower lip wobbling a little. He wanted to pretend he was a Jupiter Jim spaceship or something! And Raph could’ve been Jupiter Jim!

Raph hesitated visibly, glancing between their dad and Mikey, his brows furrowed. And after a minute, he sort of forced a smile, leaning over to grab Mikey and shake his arm a bit.

“That’s okay, Mikey! I don’t have to piggyback you,” he assured quickly. “You can just piggyback me, instead! Raph doesn’t mind. That way we can still play! Alright?”

And Mikey grinned.

---

Okay. Alright. You can do this. It’s not a big deal. You have this totally under control--

Donnie’s hand lingered over the bracelet on his wrist.

And then at the last second, he flinched away like he had just been bitten, a short, high-pitched whine escaping him as a full-body shiver ran up and down his body. Nope, nope, nope!!! He did not have it!!! It was a big deal, actually, ugh, no, no, no, just thinking about it felt gross. How the hell was he supposed to consider this when just the idea made his stomach flip!?

Donnie growled softly in annoyance, laying his head down on his desk with a solid thunk, glaring down at the polished surface as if it were personally responsible. 

God. It just felt so fucking alien.

Had they really spent the first five years of their lives like that? 

No matter how much evidence was piled up in front of him, Donnie still struggled to wrap his mind around such an idea. I mean, that was practically a third of his life! And he just forgot about it?! He had a near-photographic memory! How did something like that happen!?

Part of him wanted to not believe it at all. It would certainly be easier to be in denial.

But, much to his annoyance, far too many things just… made sense.

He had too many memories, some recently resurfaced and some long-ago explained away, to simply dismiss the idea. He felt pretty stupid thinking about it now, quite frankly. Yeah, of course normal kids don’t have memories of ‘playing pretend’ in sci-fi movie-magic high-def like that!!! Obviously!!! None of his other memories were like that, were they!? When they would pretend to be Jupiter Jim or Lou Jitsu or whatever when they were older, it was exactly that, wasn’t it? Just them-- just kids playing make-believe games.

And yet he had just accepted the easiest thing. The most logical, most reasonable thing was just to believe that memories were weird and leave it at that, and that their early childhood was probably kind of fucked up, but human the entire time, and go from there.

Because… of course it was. Obviously, it was. Anything else would have been insane!

It was still insane. Even if it was, apparently, the truth of the matter.

It had been so much easier to blame all the freaky things they did as kids on something else. He and Raph bit people like feral pomeranians as kids simply because they hadn’t had the chance to socialize with other children before, of course. Not because they were carnivorous reptiles, prone to bouts of hunting instincts taking over. And he and his siblings got so sleepy in the cold and adored their heated blankets simply because poor circulation ran in the family. Not because they were literally made of cold-blooded creatures! That would be crazy. And Leo and he’s penchant for communicating entirely in animalistic clicks and chirps throughout early childhood-- a habit that still lingered even now? It was a twin thing, obviously, and nothing else. Because that would be crazy!

Not them literally talking to each other in fucking turtle or anything!

‘Cause how the hell would that work?

How the hell else would Leo fucking squeaking at you make sense, dum-dum? He thought bitterly to himself. It had been years and years now since they had properly employed their ‘twin language,’ but Donnie was pretty sure that it had never been a proper language at all. It wasn’t like they had any words in it, or they ever discussed what certain noises meant beforehand, at least not that he could recall…

But they could still always understand what the other was saying regardless, couldn’t they?

Donnie groaned softly, lifting his head back up just so that he could rub at his temples. Christ, thinking about all of this was just giving him a migraine. He quietly asked the universe what he had ever done to it for them to make his life a fucking joke. What was this, a parody of some Marvel comic or something!?

He hated thinking about it.

But…

He reached for his wrist again.

He touched the little crystal, his fingertips just barely brushing the surface.

He quite nearly gagged, another horrid shudder running up his spine as he spiraled back into a retreat. Ugh, god, he couldn’t just not think about it, either! Every hair on his body was standing on end, and he grit his teeth, forcing himself to start reciting pi in his head instead. Dammit. Dammit. Dammit. 

He ran his fingers across the seams of the compression sleeves on his arms, reminding himself that they were there before he quickly turned back to his computer, snapping open several files and syncing up his headphones with the bluetooth.

He smacked the play button, and whatever random EDM playlist he had queued up on Spotify immediately began blaring through his ears, drowning out everything else. 

Much better.

He sighed deeply, narrowing his eyes slightly as his gaze roamed over the screen. It was fine. He was fine! All he needed was a distraction for a little bit.

He had already made a decent amount of headway in trying to recreate Baron Draxum’s research, translating and decoding everything he could remember from the notes he had reviewed and documented in his lab. It was patchworked at best, but it was the only solid information he really had on the mutation project…

That, and himself.

Donnie set his jaw, scrolling his way through the data sheets he had compiled.

He had made some decent headway. But he could always make some more.

---

Quite frankly, Leo had felt, like… great recently? Which was pretty insane, given the general state of things, and also how fucking awful he had felt not the long ago. And, like, sure, things were still kind of rough and he wasn’t exactly tickled about the whole situation, but somehow, at the same time, everything was just…

So good.

He had really only been on T for a few weeks, so he was pretty much sure that nothing had actually changed yet and it was in his head, but he had literally never felt so fucking good about himself before. His brothers had taken the time to inform him of how fucking insufferable he and his ego had become, and Leo didn’t even care, because damn right he looked good and obviously everyone should know about it, too! He had started taking about eight million selfies every day because he wanted to document the process, Dee, it’s science, I’m coming for your brand, shouldn’t you be supportive of this kinda thing? 

But it was just, like… even if nothing had changed yet, at least not noticeably, it was… It was going to. It was an active work in progress and he was just so goddamn thrilled about it. And like, yes, okay, things were weird and kind of scary right now and he was spending a lot of time doing ninja training and trying to stop the actual literal end of the world, or whatever, and that was sort of a lot of pressure? But here was the thing-- and he would never admit it out loud--

But he sort of didn’t mind any of it.

Because yeah, all the ‘ninja training’ stuff was difficult and boring sometimes, but he got to do it with his family. 

And, like, yeah, some of the stakes here? Were a lot, and it was terrifying if he thought about it too hard.

But him and his siblings and his dad? They were all doing it together. 

If word that he was enjoying hanging out with his family ever got out, obviously his rep would be ruined, so he had to take it to his grave. But he was. He was, like… happy. Happier than he had been in a while, in between everything else, in between the worry about his dad and the concern for his siblings, sure, but he was also, like… 

Weirdly happy.

Was that bad?

Oddly enough, he was really, stupidly happy right now, and maybe he just didn’t…

Didn’t want to give that up…?

Leo frowned a bit, biting the insides of his cheeks as he spun his bracelet idly around on his wrist, his nose wrinkled up a bit. 

It was silly, really. It wasn’t as simple as “if you take it off, you’ll be miserable again.” Things were obviously different than they had been before, when they first got home, in a lot of ways! There was no formula, no clear cut-and-dry cause-and-effect, he didn’t know that that would happen, it was just… 

Well, what if he was?

What if he tried to do ‘turtle stuff,’ or whatever the fuck Raph had said exactly, and then everything was horrible again? What if everything just went back to the way it was? 

Right now, Leo was pretty sure that he, like, liked himself. Like, actually for real! Almost all of him, even! He could look at himself in the mirror again, he could shower without crying, he could post selfies on his instagram and stand to be filmed and looked at and wear make-up and nail polish without having a crisis-- all things that he loved to do! All things that he had missed so, so deeply when he had hated himself too much to enjoy any of it.

He hadn’t liked hating himself. And he didn’t wanna do it again.

But what if he took it off, and then he did?

What if he took it off, and then there was no solution this time? He couldn’t start T a second time. So what if he just got… stuck…? 

Leo groaned loudly, tilting his head back and burying his face in his hands, scrubbing at his eyes.

This is so stupid! Raph is right and you know it! And none of this shit even makes any sense! Why would you go back!? It wasn’t the turtle thing, it was-- it was everything, it’s not that simple, and even if it was, you still need to get over it…!

“Did something happen?”

Leo jerked in surprise at the sound of his father’s voice-- he hadn’t even heard him passing through the hallway, and yet now here he was leaning against the doorframe. Ahhh, stupid ninja father…!

Rapidly righting himself, Leo straightened his back and cleared his throat, attempting to wave his father off. “Oh, they just kicked Dean off of the Bachelorette, which is obviously messed up because he’s clearly the hottest one there? I mean, I know it’s all, like, the producers, or whatever, but come on--”

“Mmm-hmmm,” Dad said, nodding thoughtfully as he slowly made his way into the other’s room, leaving him the time to chase him away if he wanted to. (But Leo himself was surprised to find that he didn’t.) “And…?”

Dammit, usually Dad always fell for Bachelorette based lies. Leo hesitated a second, staring up at the ceiling and tugging at one of his own curls-- straightening it out and then letting it go, feeling it bounce up against his cheekbones.

(He loved his hair. He loved loving his hair. He had come so close to cutting it off, and if he had, he would have been fucking devastated now. What if he ended up hating it again? What if he did cut it off…? He didn’t want to cut off his hair!... He loved his hair…!)

“Do you think we’d be, like… better fighters as… turtles, or whatever?”

His dad hummed thoughtfully, sitting down at the edge of his bed and seeming to consider this for a moment. “Well. I don’t know about that. But I suppose there could be advantages,” he finally said. “Though there could be drawbacks, as well. Why do you ask?”

He sighed deeply.

“Well. Raph thinks-- I mean. Raph said that he thought maybe it’d be, like… safer, or whatever. And we’d get beat up less if we had, you know, shells and body armor and stuff? And…! I mean, he’s right, we probably would be, but I don’t… we’re not used to it, and, and it’s different, and it’s, you know, it’s not stealth, obviously, so I’m not--” 

He frowned deeply, wrinkling up his nose.

“I still don’t… like it. I guess is the problem, actually,” he admitted. 

Dad sighed thoughtfully.

“Well,” he finally said. “That is certainly understandable. I don’t like what I look like without the bracelet, either,” he admitted, looking slightly to the side, his eyes dancing away for just a moment before he managed to herd them back. “I do admit that being safer and less prone to injury does sound very nice to me…! But that is just me being selfish. And your father,” he laughed. “... I do not want any of you to get hurt. And I… I would like you to be safe. But no one will force you to be in any body that makes you unhappy, Blue. That’s not safe, either, and I suppose I can’t…” He sighed a bit, sounding almost frustrated. “It wouldn’t be fair for me to prioritize one over the other.”

Leo frowned a little, wrapping his arms around himself. 

“But you do think we’d be safer, don’t you?” He pressed.

Dad kind of floundered for a second. “I don’t want to tell you what--”

“Yeah, yeah, our bodies, our choice, you love us, other quotes from parenting books, blah blah blah. I get it, Dad,” Leo scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Like, thanks, or whatever. But I want your actual, honest opinion, okay? Do you think we’d be safer if we were turtles when we fought and went on missions and stuff?”

It took his dad a little bit to respond, and Leo did his absolute best to his patient, only fidgeting a tiny bit.

“It is… not simple. I think there are situations where you’d be better served as humans, but I… I do think there are situations where you might be better off as turtles, too,” he finally admitted, and then gave a short, somewhat strained laugh. “Thank goodness you were all turtles when you were little. I think you may have all ended up with brain damage otherwise with how often you threw each other around…! I was always shocked by how resilient you were, even when you were tiny, but I was certainly grateful for it, as well!...”

Leo kind of screwed up his face for a moment, tilting his head to the side.

“Well, then how come you don’t fight without your bracelet? We don’t want you to get hurt either, you know.”

Dad seemed almost surprised for a moment, staring at Leo for a second, and then, to his quiet surprise, he laughed.

Leo scowled, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest, waiting for his Dad to stop snickering.

“Okay, let me in on the joke already, Pops--”

“Blue,” he finally said, shaking his head a tiny bit. “I am not a turtle. You know that, don’t you…?”

Now it was Leo’s turn to stare at the other for a moment.

“You’re not!?”

“No!” Dad laughed. “I-- I’m sorry. I should not…! I suppose you would have no way of knowing, it just…!”

“Why the fuck aren’t you a turtle if we’re turtles!?” Leo cried. “Why wouldn’t I think you’re a turtle!? The rest of us are turtles!!! Obviously, you should also be a turtle!!! If you’re gonna do a bit, then commit to it!!!”

Dad just laughed, wiping a few tears from his face.

“If you’re not a turtle, then what the hell are you?!” Leo cried. And it took a second, but Dad’s laughter died back down.

And then the two of them were just sitting in silence. Leo looked at his dad. And his dad looking at his own feet.

Leo winced, immediately backpedaling.

“Sorry. Forget I said that. You don’t have to--”

“I’m a rat,” Dad said, before he could even finish his sentence. “I was mutated with a rat.”

Leo stayed quiet for a second, slowly processing this.

He hadn’t actually expected his dad to… answer him.

A rat. Their dad was… part-rat.

For a second, he just sat with this new information, turning it around in his mind a few times and considering it. And to his quiet surprise, all of a sudden, when he reached back through his memories, he could feel soft fur on his skin. And he could recall whiskers tickling his face; a sensation long forgotten, but suddenly paired quite definitively with the feeling of being wrapped up in his dad’s arms, back when he was still tiny, or having a good-night kiss pressed onto his forehead at bedtime as a toddler.

A rat. 

That… made sense, actually, now that he knew it.

That felt right.

But still, the next thing he said was, “Why the fuck are we turtles and you’re a rat?”  

Dad chuckled, shaking his head. “I could not tell you, my son.”

“Who the fuck was in charge of this!? Turtles and a rat? Seriously?! Wait, is this why you have eight million snacks hoarded away in your room!? And can always tell if we snuck snacks or didn’t brush our teeth and stuff!?”

“Well, I don’t think the rat thing was really planned--”

“Good! Because, uh, lowkey, I’m just saying? Kind of fucking racist!” Leo exclaimed, throwing up his arms, and Dad nearly choked this time on the absolute snort of laughter that erupted from him, bowing his head to cover his face with his hands, his shoulders absolutely trembling with barely contained hysterics.

“You know what, Blue?” He finally got himself together enough that he could bite out a reply through wheezy breaths. “You are absolutely right.”

--- 

“Daddy,”

Yoshi sighed softly at the sound of the quivering, sobbing cry of his youngest son, reluctantly pausing in his current task of attempting to clean up the kitchen area and turning to instead meet the child, running to him on toddling little legs and wiping the tears from his face.

“What’s the matter, my son?” He questioned, kneeling down to meet him. Mikey came crashing into him at full force, throwing himself into his chest, and Yoshi grunted softly at the impact, just barely managing to not lose his balance and remain upright.

“It’s n-not f-faiiirrrrrr…” Mikey wept miserably, grabbing fistfuls of his fur and curling up in his arms, hiccuping pitifully as he looked up at him with wide eyes. 

“What’s not fair? What happened?” He questioned, his brows furrowed slightly with concern at the absolute distress his child was in.

“I--” He broke off for a second to sob, snuffling loudly and huffing to try to catch his breath, needing a moment before he was able to continue. “I w-want a tail, too…!”

Yoshi blinked slowly.

“Orange, you have a tail.”

“No, I don’t!” Mikey shrieked in distress. 

“Yes, you do! You have a little tail right on your butt under your shell right here! I can see it!”

“That doesn’t count!” Mikey wailed, and Yoshi sighed softly.

“What do you mean it doesn’t count? It’s a tail!”

“But it’s little!” Mikey sobbed. “I w-want a long tail, like Donnie and Raph and you! It’s no fair!!! I can’t even see mine!”

Oh, for god’s sake…

“Orange, I cannot give you a different tail.”

“But it’s no fair!” Mikey shrieked. “I want a tail like your tail!!! It’s no fair!!! How’s come you get’ta have a long tail!?”

“Michalangelo, I have a rat tail because I am a rat.” He couldn’t believe he was explaining this. “And you have a turtle tail because you’re a turtle.”

“B-but Donnie and Raph are turtles and they have long tails!”

“Well, they are different types of turtles,” Yoshi said with a shrug. Mikey sobbed.

“B-but-- But I want one too!”

Yoshi resisted another sigh. 

“I know. I am very sorry, Mikey. I would give you my tail if I could,” he tried to soothe, and goodness, would he. He knew that his children took great joy in grabbing onto it and hanging on while he dragged them around, (one of Yoshi’s least favorite games, quite frankly,) but he despised the thing. It was annoying to lug around, always pulling at his lower back, and just a constant reminder of every way that he was wrong now. He didn’t think he would ever be able to quite adapt to having an additional limb.

There were many things he had grown used to by now, though he still didn’t like them. He had learned to tolerate the absolute power that scent ruled over his life now. He had reluctantly grown to accept the blurriness of his vision. He had adapted to the odd teeth in his mouth and how they grew, doing his best not to allow them to get out of hand and became painful (though he was not always the best at this,) and had grown to accept the whiskers on his face and how they twinged when they brushed something, the fur covering his body, the claws on his hands and feet and how his legs bent in a different way now.

But the tail? The tail he still couldn’t quite accept. It was just too different. Maybe with some more time, he would, but… He wasn’t exactly convinced.

Mikey continued to sob, and Yoshi huffed a bit, slowly easing himself back to his feet, keeping the toddler tucked up against his chest while he cried. He got the impression that it might take a bit before he was ready to accept this fact of his life and calm down again…

So he supposed he would just have to figure out how to finish cleaning the kitchen and carry a sobbing toddler at the same time. 

---

Raph was the biggest brother. The brother who was the biggest. It was his job to keep an eye on all his little siblings and make sure everyone was okay and following the rules, and he was pretty good at it, too, he thought. In addition to this, he was captain of the school’s football team-- he had been shocked when the votes were tallied up in his favor, because he was only a junior, after all, not a senior like the captain usually was, and were they sure!? But evidently, they were, and the honor had gone to him-- and Raph thought that he actually did a pretty okay job at that, too. It had been a really good season last year. They went to states and everything!

Not only was he captain of the football team, but he currently held the title of captain of the swim team, as well, and the basketball team, and the wrestling team. And quite frankly, he wasn’t sure why in the world he kept ending up in the captain’s chair? He had never really thought of himself as a leader before, and even now, he was hesitant to wear such a title…

But if he had learned one thing about leading people so far, it was that you had to lead by example.

And it wasn’t fair for him to ask Donnie or Leo to tolerate being in weird, alien mutant forms if he wasn’t willing to stomach it too.

Which he could do! He knew he could. He just…

Needed some practice. That was all.

He had been down here for about twenty minutes now, just lazing about in the Lair and trying to get used to being like this. He had spent quite a bit of time pacing and wandering around before he had finally ended up here, plopped down in the middle of the room on his stomach, his arms curled up under his head as he took quiet note of his tail and how it felt sliding back and forth behind him-- just trying to memorize the weight and the movement of it, listening to the soft noise of scales on concrete.

Shhhh shhhh.

He had just been starting to think, yeah, okay, this isn’t actually so bad when he heard telltale footsteps coming from the stairs.

And when Donnie looked over from the stairwell and saw him, he froze. And Raph froze, too. He certainly hadn’t expected Donnie to tear himself away from his projects to come down here. He had opted to take advantage of the open space in the Lair rather than the privacy of his own bedroom, fearing that he might knock stuff over or ruin them in his turtle form, but now he was suddenly kind of questioning that decision.

And for a long, pregnant moment, it was just quiet between them. And he stared at Donnie. And Donnie stared at him. And before Raph could figure out what the hell he was supposed to say, Donnie began moving again, finishing his descent down the stairs into the basement.

“I need a break from the Lab,” he muttered, sort of absently, almost nonchalant, kind of gesturing to the laptop that he had under his arm. “Is it cool if I hang out in here for a while?”

It took Raph a second to actually process what Donnie was saying and formulate a response. But then eventually, he nodded. 

“Yeah. Of course.”

“Okay, cool,” Donnie said, and after a moment of kind of looking around, seeming to consider things, he went over to the couch. Grabbing one of the many spare blankets that lived there, he carefully spread it out over top of Raph-- arranging it just enough so that he could kind of climb half on top of his brother, both of them curled up beneath the soft fabric, any sharp edges or points from Raphael’s shell covered well enough that Donnie could snuggle up against him. 

It was rare that Donnie was interested in anything even vaguely resembling cuddles. He hardly even liked people touching him. Certainly, he wouldn’t allow strangers to touch him. Or anyone that he didn’t completely trust. A majority of the time, it was just his family that could expect the possibility of any kind of physical closeness-- and only when he felt safe enough to allow for such things.

A comfortable, warm weight pressed up against Raphael’s back, soothing and pleasant. He could feel the familiar sensation even through his shell. Raph kept still for his little brother as he felt him get comfortable against him, snuggled up close and settling in to relax. 

“Is this okay?” Donnie asked after a moment.

“Yeah,” Raph immediately responded. “This is okay.”

“Cool,” Donnie said.

Raph’s tail kept on waving from side to side behind him, though at a slightly quicker tempo now as he settled, allowing his eyes to slide shut.

Shhhshhhshhhshhhshhshhh.

---

Donnie stayed like that for about two hours, with Raph dozing in and out for much of it, before he finally took his leave. He had accomplished just about all he could from his laptop out here, and though he had, in fact, needed a break from the Lab, he didn’t wanna spend that much time away from it. 

His research called. 

He was pretty sure Raph was still asleep, so it was easy enough to very slowly, very quietly creep his way off of him, rearranging the blanket to ensure he was still covered up properly before making his way back up the Lair stairs. And while he knew that Leo had gotten home, (he had popped down at some point to grab something, and given him and their oldest brother a very odd look that Donnie couldn’t quite interpret,) he was somewhat surprised to find him camped out in the kitchen, bent over the island and reading something on his phone. His head popped up as soon as Donnie emerged from the basement-- and if he had been waiting for them.

“Finally finished with your cuddle sesh?” He teased in an almost sing-song tone, tilting his head to the side. Donnie huffed, rolling his eyes.

“Die,” he muttered in response, carefully closing the basement door behind him and beginning to make his way to the stairs. Leo was chasing him, however, much to his chagrin.

“Oh, come on! You barely ever want anyone to breathe in your direction. It’s an event whenever you’re in the mood to actually, like, cozy up to someone,” he pressed, pocketing his phone as he trailed after Donnie, hopping up the stairs right after him.

“Why would I want anyone to breathe in my direction?” Donnie scoffed, shooting the other a glare. “That sounds disgusting. And I’m allowed to have the occasional special exception and be in the mood, thank you very much,” he growled, hunching his shoulders slightly. “Besides, it was…”

He pursed his lips slightly.

“Mutually beneficial.” 

“Uh-huh…” Leo said slowly, quirking a brow slightly, looking Donnie up and down for a moment like he was trying to figure that out, and then seemingly deciding that it wasn’t the priority right now. “But so, like… it is a special occasion, then?”

Donnie frowned a bit, giving the other a quizzical look. “What do you mean?”

“I mean. Like,” Leo shrugged a bit, sort of crossing his arms over his chest. “Like. Yeah. You’re allowed to not wanna be touched and then have special exceptions when you do wanna be touched and, like, you’re down with cuddles, and all that, so, I mean…” He sort of trailed off for a second, his eyes wandering away, before they snapped back over once again. “But like. This is one of those times? When you, like… are down?”

Donnie blinked slowly.

“Leo, what the hell are you--”

“Can I hug you?” Leo bit out, cutting him off before he could get too far, and Donnie sighed deeply. Ah. That’s what this was, then. Jesus, why couldn’t he just open with that?

“Yeah, Leo, you can hug--”

He didn’t even get through the words before his brother was crashing into him all at once, nearly costing him his footing with how he jumped for him, wrapping his arms around him and squeezing him so tightly that Donnie was pretty sure his compression sleeves were jealous. They had to kind of grab the wall to catch their balance again, stumbling slightly. 

“Jesus, Nardo, could you--!?”

“You scared me so fucking bad,” Leo hissed out, his voice pinched tight and muffled for how he had buried his face in Donnie’s shoulder, absolutely clinging to him. 

Donnie blinked in surprise, taking a moment to process this, wondering if he had misheard the other. “What…?”

“Never, ever disappear like that ever again,” Leo continued, tightening his grip on him slightly, which Donnie hadn’t even thought was possible. “I was so fucking scared, you bitch. I thought something really bad might’ve-- and it was my fault, too. I’m sorry. I’m-- I’m really sorry I was such a dick then. I didn’t mean it. I was just upset and I know that we already did this but I couldn’t fucking touch you then and-- I didn’t--”

Oh.

So that’s what this was about.

“Leo, it’s okay--”

“Shut up,” Leo mumbled, his voice trembling a bit, and Donnie didn’t really have a good refute for that. So he looped his arms around Leo instead and hung onto him back. He didn’t usually do that. Hugs from his family members were overall acceptable, but he didn’t always enjoy hugging back, at least not for long, but… 

You know. Special exceptions and all that. In that same vein, he kind of wrinkled up his nose at the wetness against his neck, but he could tolerate it.

It was fine. He could tolerate it for this.

Even though they were still halfway up the stairs, the two of them eventually, slowly sank down until they were both sort of awkwardly bundled up together on the stairs, half on top of each other, half flopped down the slope. Donnie kind of had to stick out a leg so he could brace his foot against the wall and keep them from sliding, but that was okay. He didn’t really wanna try to move the two of them anywhere, even if this would be easier if they were literally anywhere else in the house.

“I’m really glad we’re twins again,” Leo sobbed, and Donnie nodded a tiny bit.

“Yeah. Me too.”

“I-- I really w-want us to stay twins.”

“We’re going to, Nardo. Calm down.”

“I don’t want you to leave.”

“I’m not leaving, Leo,” Donnie said, and actually? It kind of felt really good to get to say this next part out loud. 

“I’m not going anywhere. Are you?” 

Leo sobbed weakly in response, shaking his head a tiny bit. 

“Okay. Good. Then we’re gonna be okay,” Donnie mumbled, squeezing him slightly. Wait, was he actually tearing up a tiny bit…? God dammit. Leo knew he hated crying, this asshole…

“I’m sorry I was a bitch before.”

“Yeah. You were kind of a bitch,” Donnie agreed, laying his head down, allowing himself to rest his cheek against his twin brother’s curls. “But there were, admittedly… Extenuating circumstances. And I… suppose I am also sorry. For running away. And scaring you,” he muttered, sighing a little. “... I just didn’t know what else to do.”

“Don’t do it again.”

“Not currently planning on it,” Donnie mumbled, pressing himself closer to the other. 

“I love you.”

“Yeah, okay. I love you too.”

“... I like it when we’re twins,” Leo hummed. “‘Cause then we’re not fucking basic bitches. We’re twins.”

“Yes, we are, of course, obviously a cut above the average citizen,” Donnie agreed easily, trying to discreetly wipe at his eyes.

“Yeah,” Leo sniffled, hiccuping a bit, and then finally, slowly, his iron grip began to loosen a bit. And after a bit longer, the two untangled themselves slightly. Leo kind of scrubbed at his face with the sleeves of his hoodie, flushed bright red and still slightly teary-eyed.

“Hey,” Donnie finally said, after watching him for a moment, sort of raising a brow. “Are you… like… good…? Or…?”

Leo snorted softly, a watery little chuckle escaping him.

“I-- I’m actually, like… really good, lately? So… Yeah?” He laughed weakly, brushing some of his hair from his face. “I actually think I’m, like… Really good right now, which is, like, stupid, and weird, and probably doesn’t make sense? But… yeah.”

Donnie gave the other a look.

“This is good for you?”

“... Yeah?” Leo laughed. “I just. Fuck,” he sighed deeply, swiping away a few more tears. “I just. I just really wanted to hug you and shit. Like. Before? Uhm. But I knew you didn’t want to, and touching and shit has been weird for you lately, so… You know,” he kind of shrugged weakly. “... I just… waited.”

Donnie blinked slowly. And Leo scowled, rolling his eyes.

“Do not tell me I need a therapist right now, or I swear to god, I will unplug everything in your room while you sleep--”

Donnie raised his hands to sign.

‘You should really--’

“DO NOT SIGN IT AT ME EITHER, JESUS CHRIST--”

---

The cool mist that accompanied his ancestors anytime they manifested themselves into the physical world tickled at the curves of Michelangelo’s cheeks, soothing the sting of the hot tears sliding down his face. He hiccuped softly, watching as the Hamato Spirits twisted into the world before him; one by one curling from the open scroll like smoke until he was surrounded by them.

“Good afternoon, young Hamato,” Ghost-Sensei spoke, and somehow, his voice seemed gentler than it usually was. Mikey choked on another sob at this alone, drawing his knees up his chest and bowing his head down. “What troubles you?”

Mikey sniffled softly, wiping at his face a few times and drawing in a deep, shaking breath.

“I-- I think I fucked up really bad,” he croaked, and he hated how his voice shook. He took several more long, purposeful breaths, but it did little to soothe the tremble in him. He hated how little say he had over his own body. Over his own thoughts and feelings.

He was trying so hard. Why wasn’t this working?

“Our purpose is to listen and offer guidance, Michelangelo,” Ghost-Sensei reminded.

“I--” Mikey hesitated for just a moment, staring down at his own feet, tightening his grip on himself slightly. “I. I was-- I thought I-- I was g-getting better, but I--”

He hiccuped miserably.

“I got too excited and I-- I burned Sarah,” he whispered. “We were-- we were w-working on a project together, at school, earlier, and I, I was holding onto one of the papers we were sk-sketching on, and I-- I didn’t mean to! It just-- it just happened! I wasn’t trying to--”

“Does she know that the fire started because of you?”

Mikey sobbed, shaking his head a tiny bit. “N-no, I don’t th-think so--”

“Then it will be okay,” they said.

Mikey swallowed hard, his brows furrowing as he glanced up to them. 

“But I-- I hurt her--”

“It was a mistake,” Ghost-Sensei said. “Sometimes, mistakes may happen, and people may get hurt. It is very unfortunate. But it happens in life. And if you train,” they added, their voice pressing ever-so-slightly. “Then we can ensure that it does not happen again.”

Mikey swallowed hard.

He kept quiet for a second.

And then he nodded.

“This is why we train,” Ghost-Sensei explained gently. “There is great power in the Hamato bloodline. But that is not something that can be taken lightly. There is a reason for each and every one of the Hamato Clan traditions, Michelangelo. Even the ones that we may not always enjoy,” they sighed. “There is a good reason. The mystical energy you wield is very special. But if you cannot learn to control it,” they warned. “Then you are a danger. Not just to yourself. But to the people around you as well. Do you understand?”

Mikey took a few more long, shaking breaths. And he nodded again.

“Good,” Sensei said. “... It will be alright. We are your family, Michelangelo. We can help you. And none of this is your fault. You should have been taught all of this a long time ago. You have a great destiny,” they said, their tone almost fond. “... It’s a shame you have not been set up for success. But we can still change those things. And we can teach you everything you need to know.”

Wiping away the tears from his eyes, Mikey sniffled softly. 

“Okay,” he whispered. 

“But this needs to be your focus, Michelangelo,” Sensei continued. “Not anything else. This is not something that can share your mind with other things. There are many people depending on you now. You are the last descendant of the Hamato bloodline.”

Mikey faltered, frowning as his shoulders hunched slightly.

“No, but-- my brothers are--”

“They are not like you,” Sensei pressed. “They don’t understand the weight of this power like you do yet. And they don’t feel the world’s energy like you can, do they? You are the one who wears the mark of our clan in your spirit. And you are the one who must protect the world. The potential you have…! You can already do so many things that they would struggle to bear,” The spirit drew back slightly, his eyes sweeping over him a few times.

“But it’s different for you.”

Mikey stiffened as he felt a shiver curling up his spine under their eyes.

“The Hamato Clan will always be here to guide and support you. And you will always have your family to lean on,” they said. “But you have been given a great gift, Michelangelo.”

They dipped their head slightly, lowering themselves just enough so that they could catch Michelangelo’s eyes with their own. It seemed to cut right through him. There was ice in it. But the cold didn’t hurt to touch, somehow.

“To be a Hamato is a great sacrifice,” they whispered. “It is a difficult destiny to bear. We were not put on this earth for ourselves, or to live an easy life.”

Mikey took a breath in.

“But you have the chance to spare them from so much, Hamato Michelangelo. This is a beautiful gift you can give to them.”

And again, they said,

“Do you understand?”

And Mikey let the breath back out.

And he nodded.

[ next ]

[whumpshaped]

tw injuries, psychological whump, emotional whump, self-deprecation, lashing out, very wacky/distorted way of thinking

Whumpee came home way later than Caretaker had expected. They jumped up from the couch where they'd been curled up, ready to give their friend a big hug and ask where they'd been for so long.

"I just wanna sleep," Whumpee said before they could've done either of those things. "Please?"

Caretaker reached for the light switch. "I just wanna know–"

"Don't!" Whumpee snapped, making them freeze. "Please. Not right now. I can find my way around with my phone. Plus, the bugs will come in if you turn the lights on now."

"I... okay. Okay." Caretaker stepped back, letting their friend walk up the stairs without another word. It was strange, but they didn't smell any alcohol, or any other substance. Whumpee really just seemed tired.

The next morning, Whumpee was locked inside their room. Caretaker knocked softly, hoping to only catch Whumpee's attention if they were already awake. They heard an inquisitive 'mmm?' from inside, and they took a deep breath.

"Can we talk about last night?"

"I don't want to."

Caretaker nodded to themself. They had to be a little more stern. Just a little. "I do. And I'm worried. I'd just like to know if you're okay."

"I am."

Well... that didn't lead anywhere. "Please come out."

"Can I sleep some more first?"

Caretaker sighed. "Yeah. Of course. Please come out once you've slept enough."

It had been several hours when the door finally opened. Caretaker tried not to be pushy, but they had to at least poke their head into the hallway. Whumpee was way overdressed for the weather inside, and their hair was covering half their face. Caretaker frowned, immediately recognising it as Whumpee hiding something.

"You wanted to talk?" Whumpee asked quietly. They seemed... scared.

"Yeah. But you're not in any sort of trouble, okay?" They beckoned Whumpee over to their room and they hesitantly complied, sitting on the bed while Caretaker took the chair. "What happened?"

"I lost track of time," they said curtly. They were wringing their hands nervously, eyes darting around the room to avoid looking at Caretaker. "Sorry. And then I was really tired, like I said."

"Where did you get the bruises?"

Whumpee's eyes snapped up to them, wide and terrified. Bingo. Caretaker hadn't seen any bruises, but they just had a hunch. "Wh- what bruises?"

"The ones you're covering up now. It's hot inside, you would never wear this stuff otherwise. Is that why I couldn't turn on the lights either?" It was slowly dawning on Whumpee that Caretaker didn't actually know for sure, and they'd just given themself away with their reaction. They looked down at their lap. "Whumpee, I'm not mad. I'm concerned. Can I see?"

"I'd rather you not."

"Please."

Whumpee shifted a little, tucking their hair behind their ear with shaky hands. They had a nasty black eye. "Can we stop here?" they whispered.

Caretaker bit their lip, really wanting to push until Whumpee showed them all the injuries so they could treat them. But that wasn't what they needed right now. "If you don't have any that require immediate attention, yes."

"It's all just bruises."

Caretaker nodded. "No broken bones?"

"I don't think so."

"Okay." They leaned back in their chair, trying to figure out how to address the elephant in the room. "You get into fights a lot," they began carefully. Whumpee shrugged.

"I guess."

"You seem to like getting into fights a lot." Another shrug. "You seem to... it's like... you don't want to win them at all. You never have any chance of winning."

"I don't know what you want me to say."

"I want you to tell me why you go out there and provoke people into beating you up."

Whumpee tensed up a little, then just shrugged again. "That's a stupid accusation. I don't do that. I just get into fights because I have opinions, that's it."

"You know that's not true. You start fights and then let them use you as a punching bag. That's what you do. And I don't understand why."

"I don't either!" they snapped. "Okay? Is that what you wanted? I don't know! It's weird, it's pathetic, it's disgusting, it's stupid! Is that what you want me to say? I know all that! And I don't know why I keep doing it!"

"Calm down. I'm just–"

"It hurts!" They pushed up the sleeves of their sweater, revealing bruises left by people yanking them around a little too forcefully. "It hurts, it's not fun, I– I never know how to stop it. Part of me doesn't want it to stop. So I just don't say anything. I just let them do it until it hurts too much and I cry like a stupid baby. And then they laugh and leave me alone– or they get angrier and go even harder. 'Stop starting fights you can't finish!' I wish I could! Okay? I wish I could keep my mouth shut."

Caretaker stood up from their chair and walked over to the bed, sitting down next to their friend. They pulled them into a gentle embrace, allowing them to cry openly. "Why do you punish yourself so much?" they murmured. Whumpee shrugged again.

"I... I'm so scared. I'm so scared of being bad. I don't want to be bad." They took a shuddering breath, chuckling a little. It quickly turned into more sobbing. "I feel like... so long as I'm the victim... but, but only while I'm the victim, and a good victim, a quiet one... I can't be the bad one."

~

general drabbles taglist: @ashh-ed @whumpsday @whump-queen @the-scrapegoat @hidden-dreamland @rosewriteswhump @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @whumpkinpie @delicateprincepaper @whumppmuhw

[obsessivestar]

'What If It's All A RomCom?' - a Ted Nivison x Reader (smut)

{{-Yoooo sorry for making Chapter 14 take almost like 20 fucking days LMAO I'm here now.-}}

//General Warnings: 18+ Fic (MINORS DNI), Reader is implied to be afab! and under 5'5.

Chapter Warnings: Use of Marijuana, brief masturbation, praising, riding. Oooh maybe exposition?\\

Word Count: 4.3k

☆▪︎▪︎▪︎Taglist!▪︎▪︎▪︎☆

@k-k0129 , @callsign-scully & @limecorpse

☆Love Ya To Death!☆

Chapter 14: Honey, Blunts and Lust

I didn't have a lot of time to see exactly what Ted was smoking, but I knew he definitely had something. I watched with a curious smile as he quickly stuffed something into what I could only assume was an ashtray hidden behind some knick-knacks on his bedside table, fanning his hand back and forth to clear any smoke around him. If he was trying to hide all of this from me, he was doing a poor job. It was kind of funny, actually.

"Shit--okay, don't tell Tanner." Ted spoke up with a nervous little shake in his voice, holding the palm of his hand out like he was trying to de-escalate the situation. I wasn't sure why he was so nervous, but it made me laugh a little, making sure to close the door behind me as I step into his somewhat misty room.

"Dude, I'm not gonna narc on ya." I reassure him with a relaxed chuckle, crossing my arms in front of my chest. "I already knew you smoke.."

"No, it's--" Ted closed his eyes and let out a little chuckle, looking a bit relieved as he moved off his bed. "Tanner doesn't know. I'm supposed to be smokin' outside."

I raise my head a little and make an 'Oh' shape with my mouth, nodding slowly. My eyes glance over at the window, seeing that it was wide open. At least Ted was decent enough to air everything out.

"Have you really been smoking in here for the last hour?" I ask with a knowing smile, turning my head to look at Ted again.

"Shit, has it been an hour?" Ted anxiously slips his hands into his pockets, then takes them out to feel his back pockets--even though he has none--turning his head around to look back at his bed. "Fuck."

"You could've texted me, yknow. I would've just come in here.." An amused smile creeps along my lips, raising my brow as Ted moves over to his messy bed, slipping his hands underneath to try and search for something.

"I would've. I should've--I-I--" Ted is a bit more relaxed, but he's still stuttering. I can't help but wonder if something is wrong, watching him take in a deep breath to calm himself. "I can't find my fuckin' phone."

Both of my brows raise up, I'm visibly surprised. A sudden sharp laugh leaves me, keeping my arms crossed in front of me.

"How high are you, dude?" I ask through my laughter, moving over to his bedside table. Ted defeatingly sits at the edge of his bed, watching me move his stuff aside so I could get a look at his ashtray. It was hardly dirty, he had probably just bought it. There was only one joint crunched up in there, pretty small. He had just about finished it before I walked in. I glance over at Ted. He's watching me like he's anticipating some sort of discipline. It makes me let out another laugh.

"Last timed I checked, isn't weed supposed to help you relax?" I ask him, turning more towards him. "Why you lookin' at me like that?"

Ted's nervous expression flickers into curiosity. I watch his eyebrows furrow a little and a small smile creeps along the corners of his lips.

"'Last time'?" Ted repeated, his eyes narrowing at me a little. "You've...never given off the smoker vibe."

"Mm, probably because I don't smoke.." I scrunch my nose a bit as I reply. "Not anymore, anyways.."

"Yeah? What made ya stop?"

"I just...got bored of it."

"You got bored of getting high? I've..never heard of that before."

"Okay, well, it stopped feeling...interesting, I don't know."

"It stopped feeling interesting."

"Yeah, I'd usually smoke alone and it stopped being interesting."

"....You wanna make it interesting?"

Ted pulls out a fully rolled joint from his front pocket, raising his brows with a enticingly optimistic smile. How he managed to keep that in there so neatly was beyond me, but I was impressed, and....curious.

"Didn't you just smoke that one?" I ask with a light chuckle, gesturing to the crunched up joint in his ashtray.

"That was like...less than half a joint. I can't even feel it." Ted admitted with a dismissive scoff, gesturing his hand down a bit. "It's not one of those obnoxious strands either. It'll smooth us out."

"If you can't even feel it, what were you doing in here for the last hour?" I ask, crossing my arms in front of my chest. I see Ted's expression change. It's very subtle, but I notice it. His eyebrows relax but his eyes widen a little, though he's still smiling at me. It's like I caught him, and he knows it. Either he's purposely downplaying how high he really was for the last hour, or he wasn't really high and he had another reason for being in here alone; a reason he seemed hesitant to share. I wish I could read his thoughts, ease whatever anxieties he had about being completely upfront and honest with me. It's moments like these that remind me how...oddly secretive Ted is about some things.

After a brief moment of silence between us, Ted's expression softens.

"...Share this with me." He speaks, holding the rolled blunt up in front of him. "and I'll tell you.."

I furrow my brows at him, smiling in genuine disbelief. "Are you really propositioning me with weed now that I've caught you in your lie?" I ask with a soft laugh, placing a hand on my hip. "On top of that, aren't you worried Tanner is gonna notice? That's a whole joint."

"This is the one and only time I'm having a joint on this trip, and I want to share it with you." Ted admitted, standing up off the edge of the bed. "Come on, you'll smoke half, I'll smoke half."

"Would you have wanted to share that with me if I hadn't walked in?"

"...Probably not."

"Oh, we're being honest now?"

"I'm--I'm tryin', believe me."

"You're trying?"

"Yeah. I...I think...I just need a boost."

"You need to share a joint to be honest with me?"

"I want to share a lot more than a joint with you."

"Like what?"

"Like why I didn't approach you at Joe's wedding."

Now I'm intruiged. What started as a one-off comment in our very first conversation has turned into one of the biggest mysteries of this relationship, purely because Ted has refused to talk about it and Joe insists on him being the one to tell me. If he needs to be high to finally tell me about it, I'll take it. I take a small breath and hold my hand out, smirking up at him. "Got a light?"

Ted gives me a relieved smile, placing the joint in my hand, then reaching into his other pocket to hand me his green lighter. I can't help but chuckle at how excited he is, shaking my head as I place the skinny end in between my lips and flick the green lighter to light the joint, taking a breath in once I knew it's lit enough. I knew nothing was going to hit me immediately, but knowing I hadn't smoked in a long while still gave me a weird feeling in my stomach. Maybe I was nervous. I was either nervous about getting high, or about what Ted would say once we were high. Once I took in my puff, I passed the joint over to Ted, watching him take in a deep hit from it. I knew he'd probably smoke it a bit more than me. Honestly, I was okay with that.

It took a few good minutes for me to feel anything, but once I was feeling it, God...I was feeeeeling it. Ted and I were now laid out on his bed, taking turns, albeit slow ones, with the blunt. Ted had taken his glasses off, completely relaxed against his pillow. If he truly wasn't high before, he definitely was now, as was I. The haze that had settled into my brain felt smooth and pleasent. I felt comfy. I felt content. Ted had closed his window slightly so most of the smoke would stay in the room. It made me a little anxious about Tanner finding out, but once we started talking about it, we couldn't stop laughing about it.

"I can't--I can't even picture Tanner angry..." I admitted with a soft laugh, breathing in a hit from the joint before passing it to Ted again, my gaze locked up on his ceiling. "Unless he's acting in a fuckin'....DnD game, I've never seen him angry.."

"He would be. He would be angry, I'm tellin' you, he'd be pissed." Ted admitted with a smirk, taking the joint from me. "He'd kick me off the set."

"He would not!" I laugh out, turning my head to look at Ted.

"He absolutely would."

"You're the lead! This whole thing--"

"He absolutely would."

"The whole thing--"

"I'd be a--I'd be a goner, dude."

"The whole--stop!"

"Absolutely a fuckin' goner."

"Stop interrupting me!"

I playfully swat at Ted as he tries to take another hit from the blunt, but we both can't stop laughing. I'm trying to quiet my laughing so we don't wake up the whole damn house, but Ted's insistence was just so fucking funny for some reason. It was maddening how attractive Ted really was. He was handsome, he was funny, charming and amazing at his craft. While I'm lost in my thoughts, I realize I've been staring at Ted. I watch as he turns his gaze towards me, his eyes sparkling with realization.

"You starin' at me, princess?" He asked, his tone low and relaxed. I meet his dark gaze with my own, a warm smile creeping along my lips.

"Kinda.." I admit in a soft tone, resting my head a bit more on his pillow. "I was thinking.."

"About?.." Ted purrs, sitting up a bit more on his side to fully face me. I feel a sense of warmth wrap around my body like a warm blanket, particularly around my eyes as if I were tired, and my core, as if I were...tempted.

"I was thinking about you.." I admit after a short pause, blinking my eyes a little to ward off any real tiredness I was feeling. I wanted to hang on to this a little while longer, to really...ride it out. "I was thinking about your handsome face..." As I speak, I rise up a bit from my side of the bed, slowly moving my body over to crawl overtop of Ted, comfortably straddling his lap. "I was thinking about your sultry voice...how...infuriatingly funny you are.."

Ted made sure to turn his body to lay on his back, resting one of his hands on my thigh. I see that he's still holding the joint in his other hand. It's much, much smaller than it was earlier. I realize I have...no idea how long we've been smoking it or even what time it was. Honestly, I didn't care. "And how I wish I could read that stupid mind of yours.."

"You wanna read my mind?.." Ted asks with a low chuckle, his dark eyes gazing up at me. He takes another smooth hit from the joint, a mischievous gleam in his eyes. He slowly blows the smoke out towards me, watching me close my eyes in response with another deep chuckle. Fuck, his voice...

"Mmm, here..." Ted hands me the small blunt, sitting up a bit more to be at my eye level. I take it into my two fingers with a curious hum, knowing Ted was probably giving me the last hit. "You finish that up...and I'll tell you exactly what I'm thinking..."

X-----

I could already feel the last of my judgement slipping because of this strand. I had completely lost track of time and we had nearly turned Ted's room into a hot box, but fuck, that voice, that...hungry look he was giving me, I just had to do what he wanted. I had to. I wanted to.

I lock eyes with Ted once more, bringing the skinny end of the blunt up to my lips to take a good, looooong hit. He gives me a devilish but proud smile, his hands moving up to toy with the waistband of my pajama pants.

"Good girl..." Ted purred at me, moving his head to begin trailing little kisses along the side of my face, moving them down to my jaw. I close my eyes and blow the smoke up into the air, leaning my head back to allow Ted to bring some attention to my sensitive neck. Pleased hums and moans are escaping me, every little touch feels so...fucking...nice....

"I'm thinking about how beautiful you are.." Ted tilts his head up slightly to whisper into my ear, his tongue lightly grazing the edge of it to send a little shiver up my spine. "I'm thinking about how soft your skin feels..." Every word he purrs into my ear mixes with the stronger high I'm getting from the last of the blunt. I feel wonderfully dizzy, euphoric even. "I'm thinking about aaaaaall that tension we had in my truck..I really gotta get you in that backseat, eh, princess? Would you like that? Mm?..." Once again, all because of Ted, I lost all sense of my self. Every time. Every single time he gets me alone, coats his words in honey and lust, I can't resist. There was something in the back of my mind I knew I was forgetting, but oh fucking god, Ted...

My thoughts are cut by the feeling of Ted removing my pajama top for me, all of my focus on him once more. I looked at him with a surprised smile, showing that the blunt was still in my hand. "You could've set that on fire.." I chuckle a little, watching as Ted tosses my pajama shirt onto the floor.

"It's a joint, not a lightsaber.." Ted snickers, eyeing my now bare chest briefly before moving back up to return to my neck. Another moan escapes my parted lips, using the last hit from the blunt to muffle my voice. It was hard to tell how loud I was being. I was sensitive in some ways and numb in others. It was maddening, it was thrilling, it made me uneasy but absolutely serene all at the same time. I begin to anxiously rock my clothed hips against his own, feeling his sweatpants become tighter and tighter, grinding against his clothed length in a slow, even pace. I take the blunt out of my mouth to moan for him, holding his shoulder in my free hand.

"You finished it, baby? Good girl..." Ted whispers against my skin, pulling back briefly to remove his own shirt before pressing his body up against mine once more. The tingling heat building up in my core was already becoming unbearable. I knew how attracted I was to Ted, but the joint had made it all much more intense. I was already aching for him, I could feel it. I pull from Ted for a brief moment to push the joint into the ashtray, finally able to wrap my arms around Ted as he leaves kisses along my neck and jaw, feeling his fingers still toy with the waistband of my pajama pants. I run my fingers through his tall dark hair, my eyes fluttering closed.

"Touch yourself for me, baby.." Ted purrs lowly into my ear, his hands moving from my thighs to my lower back to trace my skin with his fingertips, his lips grazing my ear to make me shiver once more. I instinctively raise my hips up a bit, a shaky breath leaving me. I didn't think for a second about his command, I just did as I was told, raising my hips up off of his lap a little more before moving one of my hands from his hand, slipping it into my pajama bottoms to feel myself. God, was I wet and sensitive. My fingers danced between my soaked folds easily, my sensitive bud reacting to the tip of my finger. I moan for Ted, my eyes remaining closed with my mouth hung open. Any noises that my body wanted to let out were free. I wanted him to hear me.

"That's my good girl. Good..." Ted let's out a another low purr into my ear, removing one of his hands from my back briefly to slip his own sweatpants down. It was a little challenging with me still straddling him, but he managed to slip them down just enough to slip his length out for me. The sight of his rigid cock fills my mind with a strong sense of hunger, my bloodshot eyes gazing down at it as I rub my sensitive bud inside my pajama bottoms. Such a familiar sight. I'm so enthralled, I can't even recall a single moment of my life where this man wasn't in my life, fucking me right, making me feel so good. Ted carefully takes my arm with his other hand, pulling my hand away from core to bring it up to his mouth, running his tongue along my fingers just to get a taste. His tongue slips between my fingers, a hungry moan escaping him. "If I wasn't f-fucking throbbing, I'd make you fuck my face.." A shaky chuckle leaves him as well, bringing two of my fingers into his mouth so he could help me slip my pajama bottoms down my legs more, finally giving him the access he's desperate for.

He carefully holds his length with his hand as I move up to hover over its, spreading my folds to give him a nice view. As I press downwards to help him slip inside, a shaky moan escapes me, pushing down slowly until his entire hardened shaft was inside me. Everywhere was so sensitive, I felt the satisfaction of him entering me shiver throughout my entire warm body. I begin to grind against him once more, feeling the tip of his length already rubbing against the right spots. I don't normally go for this position, but the added sensitivity from the blunt made it so, so good. My mind is stuck in a pleasent, lustful haze, and I need more. More of him.

I start to pump my hips up and down on him, I don't bother to take my time. He feels so good, he sounds like sin. I bring my finger down once again to rub my sensitive bud as I continue to ride him, my voice whining and whimpering out desperate moans I didn't even consider myself capable enough to make. I'm so wet, he fits inside me so nicely. I watch him run his fingers through his hair and lean back for a minute, his eyes closed, in absolute blissful euphoria. The moans that are leaving him as just as desperate, just as satisfied. Everytime my hips smack down with his, it's a rush of warmth and pleasure for us both. It feels invigorating, it feels like I could do this for hours.

"God, y-you are so...fucking beautiful.." Ted whispers, opening his eyes to look at me with a small, tired smile. He takes both of my hips into my hands to start grinding his hips up against me, the new force making my voice sing out desperate pleasures even louder, barely muffled by our smacking hips. I rest my free hand on his hairy chest, toying with the silver chain he still had on around his neck. He leans up to whisper sweet nothings into my ear, holding me close to fuck me from below. His praise is making me weaker; making my body feel warm and lazy, but I know what it's preparing. I know what he's urging me to do. I can feel his cock throbbing in me, I can hear him panting in my ear, the occasional desperate moan escaping his heavy breathing.

"You are so fucking good, my beautiful girl. Are you my beautiful girl, hm? Does anyone else get to see you like this?.." His dirty words once again fill my thoughts and make them dance in my head, an excited smile spreading along my dry lips when I begin to feel a familiar knot building up in my lower stomach, making my hips crash down on his faster and faster, as fast as my body will comfortably allow. My finger is flicking along my sensitive bud, urging for what I know will be an intense release.

"I-I am, I am, Teddy..." I moan, my voice girlishly soft. I can't normally feel this much aching pleasure in this position, but the mixture of Marijuana and my absolute unwavering attraction Ted made everything so good, so fucking good. "O-Only you get to see me this way, Teddy.." I moan for him again, my mouth feeling almost forced open with how much I was moaning for him. It was so much, oh fuck, it was so, so much. I hear a dark, almost possessive chuckle leave him and ring into my ear, and that's the trigger for everything to come undone. Just his voice. Just his fucking voice is enough to finally make me cum.

My moans get louder, much louder, as I reach my peak. My finger along my bud moving almost just as fast as Ted's crashing thrusts against me. It feels like an overwhelming tidalwave of pleasure it taking over my body, drowning me in it all. It's so warm and intense, it feels like two different orgasms had flickered on at the same time. I'm moaning out his name, or at least trying to, my eyes rolling back as I desperately ride out my orgasm and my high. I must sound like a pornstar to him, but fuck, he fucks me like one. He makes me feel sloppy and easy. Just as I finish riding out my release, I feel an immediate shot of warmth enter me, his own pleasantly low growls and moans coming into focus as he releases inside of me, pumping me down on him to fill me up as comfortably and as deeply as he desires, so much so that I can already feel his hot seed dripping out of me. My head flings back as my last, shaky moan comes out of me, my entire body suddenly feeling so...hot...

X-----

Ted and I sit there for a moment, both of our eyes closed with the only sound in the room now being our collective heavy breathing. I make sure to slowly lift off of him before he lays down, resting my body against his. We're both feeling warm and a little sweaty, the smell of sex and cannabis still lingering in the air. Most of the smoke had cleared from the open window...

...oh god, the fucking window.

I raise my head a little to look over at it, my eyes widening a little when I confirm that the window was indeed still open. It wasn't wide open, but I knew it was open enough. If anyone else had their window open for the last hour, they heard us. Fuck.

"You...lookin' at the window?.." Ted asks in between pants, looking up at me with a shaky chuckle. "Whoops.."

"Oh, we're...fucked now..." I whisper annoyingly, crawling off of Ted's lap to lay on my back beside him, placing a hand on my chest to feel my heartbeat. "Do you...know if anyone...sleeps with their window open?.."

"Well..." Ted takes a deep breath, seemingly as exhausted as I am. "Dan and...Tanner...have air conditioners.."

"Oh fuck, Joe doesn't.." I suddenly remember it as I say it, bringing one of my hands up to cover my eyes with an embarrassed chuckle. "We're bad. We're baaaaad, Ted.."

"I know.." Ted gives a dry, tired chuckle as well. "I know, I know..."

We both sit there and just...laugh it out. Maybe it's just how ridiculous we both are with each other or maybe we're still high, but we just sit there and laugh for a good minute or so, making comments and jabs at each other, playfully smacking our bare bodies as we giggle and chuckle like troublemaking teenagers. It got even worse when Ted discovered he had given me a hickey near my ear, a spot that was nearly impossible to cover. I was piiiiiissed, but in a...'I' still very high and this is actually hilarious' way. I go to playfully smack Ted's arm, but grabs both of my wrists to fight me off until I grow tired enough to give it up, letting out a defeated huff with this big, stupid smile on my face....

....

I still feel like I'm forgetting something.

Ted gazes into my eyes for a moment, bringing one of my hands up to his face to kiss the back of it. Suddenly my stomach feels are warm, filled with butterflies and all. I see his expression turn warm, his dark eyes practically sparkling as he looks at me. Briefly, his smile falters, like he too just realized something. He exhales from his nose, moving my hand to cup the side of his face.

"...alright.." He speaks softly, breaking his gaze to sort of glance his eyes away.

"Alright what?.." I ask, a small smile still spread along my lips. "You're not kicking me out, are ya? I think Tanner might've taken my bed.."

"No, I'm--" Ted relaxed for a moment at my joke, a sudden chuckle escaping him as he shook his head. "I'm not kicking you out, I'm..." His smile fades again and he pauses, nibbling on the dry skin of his lips before meeting my gaze again, his expression turning serious.

"I'm...I'm gonna tell you what happened...at the wedding."

--------------------------------------------

Chapter 1 || Chapter 2 || Chapter 3 || Chapter 4 || Chapter 5 || Chapter 6 (smut) || Chapter 7 || Chapter 8 || Chapter 9 || Chapter 10 (smut) || Chapter 11 || Chapter 12 || Chapter 13 || Chapter 15 ||

[justporo]

From the Touch of Gentle Fingers

Just a short little drabble of Astarion and Tav sharing a tender, vulnerable moment worrying what the future might hold. Pairing: Astarion / Tav (You) (Genderneutral reader) Rating: General

You were organising the enormous stacks of books all over the floor in the room Astarion wanted to turn into a study. And he kept buying tons of books and scripts. And yeah, he did read them but he didn't care very much about keeping them in order or putting them back where they belonged. Seemingly his neat outter appearance didn't seem to reach past his own fingertips.

In fact in the months of living together in an actual home you had learned a thing or two about him and yourself. For example, you seemed to care much more about order than you'd thought possible while he seemed to have quite the chaotic nature.

But it might not be that but rather that he tried desperately to find out who he was or at least who he wanted to become now that he was free of higher powers. Maybe it was that with the still pretty recently regained freedom he felt a sort of impeding doom having to choose from a seemingly infinite amount of choices of what came next. You thought about that a lot and hoped you could help him and ease his anxiety.

As you were putting away another dusty old tome, you heard a few soft notes from a piano downstairs. You frowned. There was in fact a piano downstairs - the two of you had bought it. But you had been sure it had been a splurge only for decoration. So either Astarion was downstairs playing the piano or you had to deal with a ghost.

The sounds stopped then began again and started a little melody. You slowly got up and silently walked down the stairs. You felt that what was going on was pretty intimate. You stopped in the frame of the door and saw that Astarion was indeed sitting at the piano. His back was to you.

He softly played the keys and was humming to himself while the melody went on. It was hesitantly at some parts but still pretty impressive. The longer he played the more confident he got, the chords coming more quickly.

But then it ended promptly: a note amiss, Astarion angrily slammed his hands on the keys causing a discordant sound. Then he sighed in desperation and threw his head back. He was about to slam the case of the keys shut when you made yourself known: "I didn't know you could play."

Astarion winced and turned around as you walked over to him. "I don't really... It's been over two hundred years since I last played." "Sounded pretty good for that." He snorted and turned to the piano again while you slid down onto the bench next to him. He shuffled a little to make space for you.

You grabbed Astarion's hand that was closest to you and started to massage it. "You know how to do incredible things with these hands, Astarion, I bet you'd quickly take it up again if you wanted to." "Hmm yes, I bet you know exactly what these hands can do", Astarion replied with a smirk and a wink. Then the vampire sighed, his cheeky demeanor gone. You let go of his hand and stretched yours out to reach for the other. He gave it to you and you started massaging it as well.

"It's so frustrating", the vampire said with another sigh and looked at you. "Sometimes I'm reminded of something in the past, something I felt back then was true to myself. And some of these are things I want nothing more than to get rid off and then there's other stuff I would like to get back but it's all tainted." He softly took his hand from you and pressed the heels of his hands to his eyes. "And then... there's stuff I desperately hope will be true for the rest of time." "Like for example?" "That you're here and that I love you, that there's always a path to take and that at the end of the road the clouds will always pass." You grabbed his hands from his eyes so he would look at you. "Well, the first one's a given, isn't it?", you said and leaned in for a kiss Astarion happily provided.

"And as for the rest", you continued, "I guess you can have and be all of the things because they're a part of you but it's up to you how you let them define you - and you can always make something new... something better." Astarion looked at you for a moment of silence. Then he tenderly cupped your cheek and pressed a soft kiss to your lips: "Then I guess I might have already started doing that."

[queenofbaws]

while im at it, how about some ashley n matt!! ur choice on if thats platonic or more :0 i just think the world needs more of these guys together ;w;

She felt a little bit like her mom's ancient desktop PC for a moment after it happened - buffering, buffering, still buffering. And that was an exaggeration, obviously, but not by much; the weight, the warmth, the sudden waft of leftover cologne, it scrambled her thoughts! Shook them up, at the very least.

That was the only excuse she could come up with for the blank look she gave him, anyway. Ashley had to figure it was a heck of a look, too, because even as she was still struggling to process the fact she was wearing his letterman jacket, Matt was laughing.

"Aw man, didn't mean to make you jump like that, Ash! Sorry, you just looked cold - you're all hunched over and stuff." With a little huff, he dropped himself back onto the bench beside her, resuming the pen-tapping he'd been doing before getting up to throw their lunch wrappers out. He bent over the project outline spread between them, frowned as he started reading again, and...that was that.

So. Great.

This was a her thing, then.

Ashley tried to go back to the project. She tried to go back to her notes. She tried to go back to thinking, end of sentence, but it just wasn't happening. There was something about the idea of them sitting there like that out in the open courtyard where anyone could see, side-to-side and leaning forward as if conspiring, their backpacks set on the bench opposite to be out of the way, the content of their conversation kept low under the distant sound of the baseball team squeezing in some last-minute practice. It was something she knew she could've named, had she not been so frazzled, something that made her face burn and her chest go tight, something...something that took on a decidedly different sort of flavor now that his jacket was draped over her shoulders.

"I, um, I'm fine, actually. Thanks, but, um, here, you should take this back." It was only half a lie - the flush in her ears and cheeks and neck hadn't taken long to spread everywhere else, turning the chilly fall afternoon into something stifling - but that half was the trickier part, making her tongue heavy and slow and stupid. Which Matt noticed.

How could he not?

"You...sure?" he asked slowly, watching her shrug the jacket off with what might've been surprise, but just as easily could've been amusement. "Believe it or not, I do actually wash that thing sometimes, so if you're worried it's just some kind of glorified sweat rag, I prooomise you it's not."

"No, it's - " She cringed at the sound of her own voice, shrill with social anxiety, tight with...well, something else altogether. " - I appreciate it, Matt, I mean, seriously, I do, but...I...I can't. So. Thanks. It was super nice of you, but...I'm fine. Really. Thanks." After a frankly ridiculous amount of time, considering all she had to do was slide the freaking thing off, she held it back out to him, doing her best to seem nonchalant.

To literally no one's surprise, it didn't exactly work.

"You...can't," Matt repeated, setting his pen down on the table before his arm followed suit, his posture loose and comfortable and cool as a cucumber as he set his head on his hand to get a better look at her.

"That's not what I meant to say. I'm just...this is due by the end of the week, you know."

"Yeah, I know, I'm just really, really curious now."

Oh God, she'd had nightmares like this. "Matt," she sighed, feeling another surge of blood shoot to the tips of her ears. "Would you take this seriously? This is the last group project of the semester, and I'd really - "

"Are you cold?"

"I...that's not important!"

"I think it is."

That got her. Without meaning to, Ashley turned, unsure whether she meant for her glare to be exasperated or pleading. Probably the latter. It usually was.

Matt, as always, met her halfway. He didn't shy away from the look, didn't roll his eyes or snicker like Josh and Chris did when playfully antagonizing her. He just...waited. The jacket hung between them, heavy in her hand; the question hung there too, unspoken but just as weighty.

Because she knew he wouldn't make fun of her, that he wouldn't tease her or try to deflect by cracking a seriously unfunny joke, she sighed, averting her eyes. "There's still a lot of people hanging around here."

"I guess."

"A lot of people, Matt," she said, taking great pains to really emphasize the point, "who...you know...might see me wearing this."

His eyebrows dropped, but only slightly. "Okay?" he replied, dragging the word out to goad her along, and oh, come on! He was really going to make her spell it out?

"People...assume things, all right? They...talk. I really appreciate the gesture, it was totally sweet of you and everything, but...people might think we're...I don't know..." She shrugged, shook her head, shrugged again, and all the while, the mean little voice in the back of her head tittered with locker room laughter and study hall whispers - harbingers of the rumors she could already hear rolling fresh and hot off the gossip mill. "They might think we're dating, or...or something."

He was quiet for a second. A second she spent waiting for the jacket to be taken from her, plucked aside without further comment.

Again, it didn't exactly work out that way.

"Would that be so bad?" He did laugh then, albeit softly, lifting his shoulders in a shrug of his own when she whipped her head around to stare. "I'm asking! You don't think there are worse things for people to say? I mean, don't get me wrong, Ash, I know after that pass I fumbled at our last away game I'm kind of embarrassing to be seen around, but - "

It was out of her mouth before she could bite down on it: "I'm the embarrassing one." And then it was just there, fogging the air in glimmery motes of frost as if to prove she'd said it, to drive home how, whoops, sorry, there'd be no taking it back now. She bit her lip a second too late, worrying it between her teeth until it ached, and...and then Matt nudged her with his shoulder, pushing the jacket back towards her.

"No, you're not," he said, and his voice was so firm, so self-assured, that she almost believed him. "But you are the cold one. So...c'mon. If people want to think I'm your boyfriend, at least let them think I'm a good one, right?"

[cringefail-clown]

I'm so fucking invested in your turnabout au I'm going to explode please just like ramble if you up to it

hoo boy lets do it

so atm my favourite part of the au to think about is post scratch bro and his relationship with hal, post scratch roxy and what dave would think about him. like for example i don't think he'd be this big superstar like post scratch dave was in canon, his work against the condence would be much more subtle. i imagine him working much more closely with roxy and grandpa jake - its not clear in canon how much dave, rose and jade collaborated together, they for sure were in contact, but its honestly up to interpretation. those three in the au would probably work very closely together, maybe roxy and dirk could help jake with building up skaianet - dirk as an engineer and rox as a programmer. they'd also have their own gigs on the side, roxy would sure as hell hijack crocercorp with malware every chance she got, and dirk would have some obscure websites that'd spread propaganda against condence under the veil of weird puppet stuff and insane chatbots. he'd probably write some kind of this universes detective pony parody book and get it published and it'd become one of the most recognisable pieces of literature documenting the takeover of the troll empire and the rebellion against it

(some quick designs of hal and bro i pulled outta my ass)

honestly he'd probably become some sort of vigilante batman-esque figure in this universe?? he'd show up unexpected, blow some crockercorp warehouses and disappear into the night. and after hal joins him when he builds him a body the media would paint them as some sort of twin antiheroes lmfao

oh man and hal. it'd go simialrly as it was in canon, dirk would fuck around and copy his brain at a young age and they'd HATE each other at first. like dirk would feel responsible for creating hal, and hal would resent the shit outta him - like how dare he be the one who gets to keep the body and hal must be stuck in a pair of glasses, trapped with no means of escaping? but they'd start working together when they find out about dave and the future to ensure their lil bro has the best chances of survival, and in time they'd bond over it and their shared work against condy. they'd come up with a plan so that hal goes into sleep mode until the arrival of the meteor (bc no way in hell dirk would make hal go through hundreds of years of lonely existance, watching as humanity slowly ceases to exist and unable to do anything about it, he'd go nuts).

and the day finally comes when dirk would have to go face the batterwitch so he'd put hal in the apartment and they would tell each other one last goodbye and dirk would put hal in the sleep mode. and hal would wake up like only seconds passed, not years upon years, only the vast ocean streching as far as his eyes could see behind the dirty, dusty windows, and he'd know his one brother is long dead, gone while facing the enemy he was destined to lose against but had to do it anyway, and the other one moments from crashing into the waters below on a meteor sent by some insane video game that creates new universes. he'd sit there for a while, reality slowly sinking in, and he'd probably desperatly wish like he hasn't in years, to be human again and to mourn his losses the human way, because as advanced as his robotic body was he haven't thought about updating it with some goddamn tearducks.

on a lighter note, imagine dirk crunching numbers for three days straight to figure out how much food he'd have to stock in the apartment to make sure dave doesn't grow up malnourished, desperately googling "how much calories does an *insert age* year old need". he'd be banned from every supermarket in at least two states. he would walk into the store and employees would start weeping at the sight of him. i think about it a lot

[rising-volteccers]

I've been working on this piece slowly over a few months and finally had the motivation to complete it. This is just a self indulgent piece on the aftermath of HZ044-HZ045. Obvious spoilers for those episodes of course. I'm a bit rusty but hopefully it's still an enjoyable read!

Series: Pokemon Horizons

Characters: Friede, Orla (Major) | Mollie, Murdock, Cap (Minor)

Warnings: Description of a character experiencing a panic attack

---

It's only after the kids have retired for the night that Friede calls for a private meeting. He doesn't have to elaborate on its reason, a quiet sort of understanding prevalent as they all made their way to the meeting room. 

Friede doesn't immediately enter once everyone else does. He stands outside, forehead pressed against the cool wall as he breathes deeply. Once, twice, three times. When he feels a little more centered, that's when Friede slips into the room.

Four sets of eyes turn to him. Graciously, no one comments on the tightness around his own eyes, the way his assuring smile is simply a knee jerk reaction in the face of trouble. It takes a moment for Friede to remember that he doesn't have to, and the smile drops.

Friede gracelessly drops onto his chair. Cap joins him moments later. Usually he perches on Friede's shoulder but his partner, likely sensing the heavy atmosphere, opts to stand on the table instead so he can get a proper view of everyone.

Heavy frowns marred all of their features. No one speaks for a good while, as if fearful of what'll spill out the moment this tentative silence is shattered. The Copperajah in the room is something that needed to be discussed but…

“... I'm glad that you're all alright,” Friede finally whispers. He can't easily shake off the pure dread upon seeing Rayquaza crash into the ship, to see the Brave Olivine fall out of the sky and towards the ocean. If not for Murdock's skill in making an emergency landing and his assuring call afterwards, he wouldn't have been able to focus on the immediate danger in front of him.

“Yeah, us too,” Orla responds steadily. Friede doesn't realize that his fists are clenched until Murdock's warm hand settles atop of them. Friede breathes out, recalls the exercise Mollie taught him. 

In for four, hold for seven, release for eight. Repeat until his head clears up.

Friede is grateful that they give him the time to ease himself back into someone that's not crumbling around the edges. That's better left in private, after he can have a moment to really let the severity of what happened sink in. 

Right now, Friede has to pull himself into the leader of the Rising Volt Tacklers. They're turning to him for support and he'll do his best to become their pillar.

“Okay, so. How badly damaged is the ship?” Friede asks, turning his attention to Orla.

“I'll need time to properly assess it but it's bad enough that we won't be able to fly any time soon,” she replies, lips set into a thin frown. “This isn't like patching up holes. We just about fixed the damage done by that Orthworm last time but the damage here is to the balloon itself, not the ship.”

“Alright, so we're grounded until the balloon can be fixed. At least the ship can sail, so I'll see about getting permission to dock the ship at one of Levincia’s ports.” Friede supposed if there's one thing to be grateful for, is that they’re already close to a major city so that repairs can go underway as soon as Orla gets a full assessment. 

“How are the Pokemon? No one sustained any injuries?” Friede turns his attention to Mollie next. 

“All of them are understandably shaken. It's different from turbulence,” Mollie responds, leaning back against her chair. “Some stuff fell off the shelves but none of it hit the Pokemon. Chansey made sure to keep everyone calm while we made multiple trips towards land.”

“Good, good,” he mutters. It guts him inside to put the Pokemon through such a harrowing experience but at the very least, they’re in good hands with Mollie. Friede will bring Charizard to her later for a check-up.

Friede asks a few more questions about affected areas within the Brave Olivine before they tackle the next course of action: the repairs needed to be done.

“Orla, is the damage something you’re able to fix by yourself?” Friede questions.

She hums, arms crossed as her brows furrow in deep thought. “It’s definitely the most damage the ship’s experienced so far, and while I’ll need to get a good, proper look, I think I can fix it.”

That is gladdening news, even if it’s hard for Friede to feel properly happy about it. “Right. You’ll be having your hands full with it. As for the rest of us, we’re going to have to find ways in drumming up funds for the repair.” It’s not going to be cheap, that’s for certain.

“I know I saw an ad before in the city,” Murdock pipes up, having stayed silent for most of the conversation earlier. “About part-time work at Patisserie Soapberry in Cortondo. The bakery owned by Katy, the Gym Leader there.”

“I can do private consultations,” Mollie adds. “If we’re going to be grounded for a while, I can set something up on the ship. That, or I’ll do online consultations if safety’s a concern.”

“And I can offer online classes or take up researching gigs,” Friede says. “Or take on whatever jobs we get.” 

“That sounds good. Though, now the question is what are the kids going to do?” Murdock’s sporting a deep frown now. “I don’t want them to get bored staying here when we’re doing work.”

“Don’t worry about that.” For the first time since this meeting started, Friede’s lips from a small smile. “They’ve expressed interest in learning about Terastallization. I know someone that I can contact with so they can learn just that.”

He’s going to be pretty busy in the coming days. People to contact, plans to hash out, things to do. Nothing left to do but go at it full steam ahead if he wants the Brave Olivine to be airborne again. 

Seeing that it’s been a long, stressful day for everyone, Friede won’t hold them up any longer. He hangs back long enough to pass Charizard’s Pokeball to Mollie before returning back to his room with Cap trailing behind him. 

Inside, he finds the aftermath of such a violent collision. Anything that’s not taped down is strewn all over the floor. Fallen over books and research papers that are going to be a pain to rearrange greets him. 

Friede sighs deeply. He wants nothing more than to fall onto his bed and sleep but his head is still buzzing with all sorts of thoughts, wanting nothing more than to scratch the itch to be productive. He knows that he’ll feel much better later if he begins the task of cleaning his room up now.

After he hangs up his jacket and rolls up the sleeves of his shirt, Friede gets to work. 

------

It hits Friede thirty minutes later.

The mildly buzzing thoughts rush to the front of his mind all at once. A heavy weight drops in his stomach like an anvil. While he knows what’s happening logically, he's still powerless to stop his own spiraling. 

“Pika?”

Friede has experienced freefall before. Reckless flights on Charizard in his younger years meant instances where he flew too close to the sun. His body is like that right now, floaty in a way that gives him little control. Tremors ripple down his arms, causing his hands to start shaking. 

“Pikapi? Pika!”

Things could have gone terribly wrong. Every time he blinks, the scene plays out behind closed eyelids. The Brave Olivine with a gaping wound to its side falling into the ocean, most of the occupants inside powerless to do anything. 

He was powerless to do anything. 

Friede thinks Cap's trying to catch his attention. It's hard to tell over his increasingly labored breaths. He wants to carefully place the book down in a last ditch effort to exert control but he knows it's not working. 

Sadly, this isn't an unfamiliar sensation. Friede remembers the long and terrible nights where he questions his purpose in life, his brilliant mind viciously turning in on itself. All the times where he shook beneath the covers, grounded only by Charizard's head resting atop his legs. His partner is being checked up at the moment by Mollie after–everything.

Friede hates the cold but the trembles wracking his frame isn't caused by it. Muscle spasms perhaps from the sheer effort, futile as it is, to fight off his own thoughts and feelings. He sucks in air through the tiniest straw in the world and wheezes out a pathetic breath.

I should probably sit down, Friede thinks distantly, eyes flickering down towards his trembling hands. He quietly pleads for his emotions to give him more time to–not think about the memories that are coming out of their hiding place. Shoved to the darkest corners in the heat of the moment, prioritizing what’s in front of him (of Roy and Liko and Dot’s safety) instead of–

The Brave Olivine is fallingfallingfalling he’s not able to do ANYTHING but watch as his friendsfamilyhome falls out of the sky and they’re going to sink in the ocean they’re going to die–

Friede bites his lips, nails biting into the palm of his hands as he hunches over. His vision darkens, white sparks flashing behind closed eyelids from how tightly he squeezes them shut. His shaky legs stumble back, and he trips over nothing before he falls heavily onto his bed. A soft cry slips out when pain erupts from the back of his head as it smacks against the wall but he barely registers it. He’s too busy fighting back the stupid panic clawing at his chest, knowing that he’s being an idiot cause he’s fine, they’re all fine and well and present and they discussed on what to do so there’s no reason to dwell on it anymore.

Yet his ever traitorous mind keeps spinning what-ifs, of scenarios gone horribly, tragically wrong. People he’d have to contact, to comfort, to accept all the vitriol and hate from because he’s the leader so all of their safety should have been his top priority. Friede trusts his friends explicitly but he imagines they’d have regretted placing their trust on him. Can visually see their fear and terror and despair over having followed him in the first place cause now it’ll result in their untimely end.

Friede’s eyes burn. Amidst the sharp panic, he distantly feels a bitter anger growing in himself, at himself, and it’s not helping any. His chest hurt, his head ached, his everything is one giant mass of agony. He hates it. Hates it so so much cause now he’s being reminded just how much it hurts to be afraid.

Above all else, Friede is afraid. Terrified. He’s faced the world with reckless abandon that seeing how his world can easily crumble is a harsh smack to the face. 

He whines softly. Unsure whether the chill he feels now is real, Friede still tries to pull his blanket up to cover himself, hoping that the soft fabric is able to secure him in a way that he’s incapable of. His shaky hands struggle to get a solid grip, and for some reason, this small inconvenience is what finally made the tears bubble over. 

Arceus, this is such a stupid thing to cry over. (In between choked sobs, he fights for air). Friede’s just making a mountain out of an Excadrill hill. (He’s convinced he’s drowning). Everyone’s fine. (He feels lightheaded). The ship is grounded and in need of repairs but with Orla’s handiwork, it’ll be fit to sail in no time. (Black spots dances around his vision). He’s fine so why is he–?

“Friede!”

Warm hands gently enveloped his tight fists. A soft voice gently shushes into his ears.

“It’s going to be alright.” One of his hands is maneuvered into pressing against a soft surface. Vaguely, he feels the gentle rise and fall beneath his palm.

“Try and follow my breathing, okay?”

As he blinks waterlogged eyes, the orange blob slowly sharpens into a familiar face. It’s Orla, sweet, kind Orla who’s looking at him with such soft concern in her eyes. 

Friede doesn’t deserve it. She would have been in the engine room, the first place that would’ve exploded had the ship crashed. The thought causes his breath to hitch, triggering a fit of watery coughs that renewed his tears.

“O-Orla,” he gasps. “I’m–I’m so s-sorry–”

“Shh, none of that now,” Orla gently shushes him. “Just focus on my breathing, okay? I know you can do it. In… Out… In… Out…”

He still desperately wants to apologize but the want to appease her is stronger. So Friede tries his best to follow along. He feels her drawing in a long, deep breath, holding it for a few seconds before slowly exhaling. Orla repeats this for the next couple of minutes, purposefully exaggerating the sound of each inhale and exhale so Friede can more easily follow along.

Friede focuses everything into following along, and soon enough he’s doing it more of his own volition than simply copying Orla’s motions. Slowly but surely, his mind winds down from the nigh high panic it was in before. At some point, one of Orla’s hands gently settles on the nape of his sweaty neck, easing his head down into resting atop her chest. 

Orla’s steady heartbeat further grounds him. It enables him to focus on the fact that she’s alive, unlike what his mind tries to claim earlier. Friede sighs quietly, frozen in this position for what feels like hours until Orla speaks up.

“Hey, are you back with me now?”

“Yeah,” he mouths, then clears his throat to say in a steadier voice. “Yeah, ‘m good now.”

Orla hums in response, and while she seems content to leave him like this for as long as he wants, Friede now feels the deep pangs of shame hitting him. Biting his inner cheek, he slowly pushes himself off of Orla, quickly turning his head to swipe at his eyes. It’s a feeble attempt of regaining back his tattered pride, not when a brief glance at her showcases the evidence of his breakdown on her shirt.

“So… I’d ask if you’re alright but–” Orla gestures lightly between the two of them. “–I’m guessing that’s not the case.”

“I’m sorry,” Friede coughs, feelings his cheeks burn in embarrassment. “I–I didn’t expect you to…”

“Oh, Cap came to get me,” Orla says, sporting a faint smile. “He seems–insistent that I follow him, so I did. And I’m glad.”

Right, Cap would do that. His partner always looked out for him, and in a situation where he’s unable to Volt Tackle his way through, it’s reasonable to assume that he’ll seek out someone who can deal with the issue. 

Friede’s grateful, even if it’s something that he’ll realize much later. Right now, he’s battling both shame and exhaustion. His brows furrow from the stress of it all, but they smoothed out when Orla pressed her finger against his forehead.

“I can practically hear the gears turning in that big noggin’ of yours,” she states. “Whatever it is, stop it. I know you’re going to just work yourself up again.”

Her light tone manages to make the corners of his lip quirk up. Friede’s eyes shift downwards and to the right, unable to properly meet her gaze.

“Heh, you know me well.” The faint smile drops moments later. He’s quiet for awhile, and Orla seems to understand that he needs time to regroup his thoughts. Once again, Friede’s grateful, even if there’s a part of him that thinks it’s undeserved.

“Look, with what happened today…” Friede swallows through the heavy lump in his throat. “It… it could’ve ended up a lot worse than it did. I’m sorry, it’s all my fau–hey!” 

The sudden flick to his forehead cuts off his apology. Friede instinctively covers the sting with his hand, looking confused at Orla.

Orla gazes back, nods once before lowering her hand. She crosses her arms. “Sorry but it sounded to me that you were trying to apologize for something that was completely out of your power.”

“But–”

“Nu-uh. All of us agreed to go. We all understood the risks of going up against the Explorers and Rayquaza.”

“Yes, but–”

“What happened was something no one could’ve expected. The ship suffered damage but everyone got out of it safely, did we not?”

“Yeah but it–”

“Should be all that matters, yes? Then I don’t see why–”

“Because you all trusted me, okay!?” Friede doesn’t mean to raise his voice but it does surprise Orla into silence. He covers half of his face with his hand, heaving out a deep sigh. “I’m the captain of the Rising Volt Tacklers. All of you trusted me and that trust nearly got you all killed.”

Friede closes his eyes, unwilling to see what kind of expression Orla makes. That only serves to make him vulnerable to the next flick on his forehead, this one seemingly harder than the last.

“Ow! Why do you keep doing that!?” Friede’s a bit annoyed now, gaze narrowing at Orla.

“It’s because someone’s being an idiot right now,” Orla replies, meeting his eyes with an unimpressed look of her own. “Look, do you trust me to make sure the ship’s engine runs smoothly?”

“Yeah?” Despite the confused note to it, he responds without any hesitation.

“Do you trust Mollie to look after the Pokemon in the event of an emergency?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, then do you trust Murdock to steer the ship in the event that you’re unable to?”

“Of course.”

“So we trusted you to look after the kids and deal with whatever trouble that came their way, simple as that,” Orla concluded. “I can confidently say that as infuriating as you can get, no one here regrets trusting you Friede.”

Stunned into silence, he remains still when Orla reaches out to bump her fist against his chest. “So put you trust in that at least.”

Friede stares down at the fist. Abruptly, he exhales deeply, shoulders dropping. “Alright, you made your point Orla.”

When she puts it like that, Friede can’t help but think his previous thoughts were silly. It deepens the embarrassment he feels earlier, though he also feels like a weight has been lifted off of his shoulders. At the same time, the physical and emotional exhaustion of today hits him like a full bodied Volt Tackle. 

“I think it’s better for you to get some rest,” Orla gently suggests. Friede thinks he nodded at her suggestion, though it’s hard to tell when it feels like his head is stuffed with cotton. There seems to be hands helping him lay down, and when his head hits the pillow, his blanket is covering him. 

“Mmm… but I still gotta…”

“Shh… don’t worry about everything.” A gentle hand settles over his forehead, slowly sliding down till it covers his eyes. “Just rest. Trust us to keep everything safe, okay?”

Trust. That’s something he can do.