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garbinge · 3 months ago

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NO WAY TO LIVE

Logan Howlett x F!Mutant!Reader // Word Count: 3.7k Summary: When Logan has another nightmare, it opens up the wounds you've been pushing down for so long. Warnings: All my fics are 18+ regardless of content. Angst. Blood. Logan hurting reader (but nothing fatal), light nod to smut? but like not really? just nudity lol. intimate moment I'll say. hurt/comfort. nightmares. reader backstory. mentions of torture and not wanting to endure it anymore. angsty but happy ending. A/N: I cannot get Logan out of my mind. First time writing for Logan in the Xmen world!

“Logan, wake up.”

The sound of his painful screams got louder as he shot up out of bed, flipping over and letting the adamantium claws out against you. The second he came to, they were retracted and his painful screams became worrisome pants as his eyes jumped around seeing what he had just done.

“Oh God.” He repeated it a couple times before you brought one hand up to his face and the other to your chest where he had just unknowingly stabbed through your skin.

“You can’t hurt me.” It was whispered so softly, as your body regenerated. Your mutant ability sewing the holes in you back together within seconds, leaving no sign on your body that anything happened.

The relief in him still was no match for the stress. The sweat glistening on his body and pooling around his neck and forehead was nothing compared to the rise and fall of his chest. It was getting faster by the second so you moved your hand over his heart. You wished your powers worked on him, but healing someone who already had regenerative powers was impossible. What you were doing right now, was all strictly mental, just looking in the eyes of your husband and trying to calm him down with a simple touch to his bare skin. His eyes looked down at your hand, he took one more large breath before placing a swift kiss to your hand and falling back over to his side of the bed.

“This is the third time this week.” His breaths were still heavy as his body caught up to his brain. He wasn’t wrong. It was becoming a common occurrence for the nightmares to torment him to the point of violence. Even more common for them to wake him up in a panic.

“Come on, let me warm you a bath.” As you moved off the bed, you moved the sheets with you, letting them drop to the side of the bed so he couldn’t see the blood stains.

“I’m fine.” He argued immediately with you, just earning him one simple look over your shoulder. One that he wasn’t able to argue with, or at least knew better than to.

Walking into the bathroom, you placed two towels on the sink before moving over to the tub that sat in the middle of the riverstone room. It was currently soaked in moonlight coming through from the windows that took up the entire back wall. Turning the handle connected to the tub, the waterfall shower head began filling it and you used your hand to test the temperature before making your way back out to retrieve Logan from bed. To your surprise, you walked right out into him. He brought his hands up to steady you, placing them on your arms, and then moving one over the rip in your tank top where one claw cut through.

You brought your head down to leave a quick kiss to his hand, similar to what he had done earlier, it was your way of letting him know again that it was okay. “I’m going to make you tea. Let the bath fill and get in.” You moved by him quickly, not making much noise but that was just a product of your newly acquired power. It was who you were. What you were.

Making your way to the kitchen, you took a quick detour to put the sheets in the wash and grab a change of clothes for both of you out of the folded laundry that was waiting to be put away. As the kettle sat over the fire on the stove, you looked out the large windows in the cabin you moved to years ago. The moon was shining through similarly to the windows in the bathroom. This was everything you wanted. Your home in the middle of nowhere, off the grid where you could sit in nature all day and read all night. Now you got to share it with your husband, in your mind there could have been nothing better. But there was always that one single thought that you’d bury in the back of your mind every time it jumped to the front. The thought you were never ready to face.

Your eyes fell on the bookshelf next to the fireplace seeing a photo of you and Logan at Charles’s school, where you two met the day you showed up for his funeral. Charles was the one that saved you after you acquired your new powers, you weren’t sure how to harness it–the energy, but Charles made it possible. Saying goodbye to him was something you knew you had to do back then, even if it meant blowing your cover. Little to your knowledge at the time, saying goodbye and blowing your cover also meant meeting your future husband. Smiling briefly as the memories flooded your brain, you went and grabbed the book that was next to the frame. East of Eden.

You fully expected Logan to be sitting on the edge of the sink, in full protest of the idea of getting in the bath but to your surprise, he was submerged in the tub, his head resting against the edge of it. A smirk played at your mouth as you took a few extra seconds to look at his body, his muscles glistening in sweat, now from the hot bath water.

After you placed the book down next to the towels, along with your new clothes, you squatted down next to him, leaning partially on the tub as you did.

“Barely heard you come in.” His eyes were still shut as he laid back in the tub.

“I have that effect.” You smiled as you said it, holding the mug in front of him knowing the smell would get him to hold the mug himself.

“I wasn’t going to get in.” His hands were rising from the water and he grabbed the mug before sitting up a bit, his eyes open now.

“But?” You dropped your elbows on the side of the tub, moving from a squat to a kneel, waiting for his answer, letting your head rest on your hands.

“Couldn’t take the blood on me.” He took one sip and gave you the tea back.

It was then that you saw small remnants of your blood on him that the bath water didn’t remove when he got in. You were going to get in shortly, but needed to remind Logan again of the same thing you had been doing all night.

“You know you can’t hurt me.” Leaning over the edge of the tub, you drank from the mug yourself, not going to let a perfectly good cup of tea go to waste.

“But they can.” His eyes were glued to you.

They. The group that had been after you for years. The group that stole Stryker’s documents and injected you with a metal just like they did Logan. Except they didn’t use adamantium on you. They used vibranium.

“And if I don’t kill you, they will.” Logan hated hurting you. Even though it never mattered. Even before the vibranium in your bones you were born with the ability to heal. It was your mutant gene at work. Now, with the vibranium skeleton inside you, you were able to harvest kinetic energy and heal others. Except Logan. Healing people with their own regenerative powers was impossible. Which in theory didn’t matter, but Logan’s regeneration sometimes was… slow.

“Well it’s a good thing that you can’t kill me, so when they come to do it you’re able to stop them.” It was the same conversation every time but with how calmly you spoke to him, it never felt like it.

“This isn’t a way to live.” The sound of the water was splashing as he sat up fully to look at you.

There it was. The thought that you were never ready to face. Which is why this was normally where the conversation would get… tense. “A little late for regrets, Logan.” As you stood up he caught your hand. Your eyes moved down to see where he was holding you, his fingers just below the opal gemstone embedded into your arm. That gemstone was what Professor X worked on to help you harness all that kinetic energy that was originally roaming around your bones causing you immense pain.

“No one said anything about regrets.” His grip wasn’t harsh, in fact you could have slipped out of it when he initially went to stop you. “I’m just saying, let’s go kill these assholes, then we can go anywhere, we can go back to the school even–you love the school.”

You did love it. But you loved it here, too. This is what you wanted. Away from people. No one knew where you lived, what you were doing. But there was that fucking thought. This isn’t a way to live. You had this new power, this ability to help people and you loved it. But even though you loved it, you made this decision to live off the grid where you weren’t really able to use it. But you couldn’t deal with the fact that wherever you went, even if you were able to help people, you were putting them in harm's way with this group after you.

“No matter where we go Logan, we’re going to have this same exact conversation every single time.”

“We won’t.” His voice growled, like he was trying to convince himself with those two words just as much as you.

You leaned back down, your hand moving to cup his face. “You break my heart every time we have this conversation.”

“I don’t want us to live in hiding.” He was pleading with you. His own hand reached up to yours grabbing it with both of his as he removed it from his face.

“When we met, I told you this was my life. When you told me you wanted to marry me, I told you this was my life. I told you I didn’t want to put you in the position I was in. I gave you an out, Logan. Multiple times.” You felt your voice starting to grovel. Remembering each time you basically told Logan you weren’t good for him. The irony because every night he stabbed you with his adamantium claws you spent the night convincing him you were his perfect match. I mean, someone who could heal from The Wolverine’s unexpected violent rage?

“I don’t want an out, bub. I want this life without the fear of losing you.”

You didn’t have words for that. You hated fighting. Hated fighting with Logan, hated hurting people and putting them in harm's way. You were re-created in a lab, against your will, to fight and you hated it. Your mutant gene was a healer, they took you because of that and turned you into a fighter. And now you wanted to avoid fighting all together, even with the people that did this to you. But then there was that damn thought again. This isn’t a way to live.

Without saying anything, you stood up and removed your clothes. Tipping your head so he knew to move up and allow you room to step in, you moved your feet into the water that was still pretty hot and slid down behind him, moving his body to lean against yours. On the other side of the tub was a cloth that you took and began to clean the blood that was still on his shoulder. Your hands gently moving along his skin caused him to let out a groan in approval. Feeling him collapse more into your embrace, you brought the cloth in the water and rung it out over him, letting the water trickle down on him.

“What was the nightmare?” It usually was a rotation of a few but lately it was the same one. Ironic how the nightmare of you dying is what was causing him to repeatedly stab you in his sleep. The others tended to just cut your sheets up or land knuckle deep into the mattress.

“Them, doing horrible things. Tortuous things. You, screaming. Like I’ve never heard you scream before. Begging.” His eyelids opened as he said it, like he couldn’t keep them closed as the words left his mouth because they’d paint a picture on the inside of his lids.

Despite the heaviness of words, you smirked at them. Thinking of making a sexual joke in response but hearing how fast his heart was beating just from the thought of the nightmare, you opted out.

“For my life?” You were caressing him without the washcloth now, just easing his tensions with your bare hands. Your hands moving along the crevices of muscles, your mind still dancing in this dangerous space while his was in a completely opposite world.

“For someone to take it.” His words made his body rigid, and yours as well. Every dirty thought of yours disappeared as you felt the tension of his body on yours. Bringing your hands over to his chest, pulling him closer to you, you couldn’t help but wish, this should have been intimate, peaceful. He should have been flipping over and pulling you closer to him, lifting your legs apart to have his way with you but no. It was then you realized why you always had this thought in your head, because as much as you wanted this life to be the one you dreamed of, it never could be until you dealt with this.

“You sure you’re not getting visions of when they took me?” Your eyes moved away to the book on the sink. “They tortured me for weeks before they dropped me in the water and stabbed me with those drilling needles. I begged for them to kill me everyday.” Logan was one of the only people in the world that could get you to talk about this. Not even Charles got the full story out of you, although you were sure he saw plenty in your mind. It was easier that way, for everyone.

“You have your wedding ring on in it, every time.” Logan hated talking about it too, not only because it reminded him of his own experience, one that would come back in small floods, but because the idea of them hurting you, taking you against your will made his blood boil.

As you pushed the memory back to the depths of your mind, where it’d go to be forgotten, you moved your head over his shoulder, resting your chin on it so you were right next to his ear, your arms moving under his arms and resting on his abdomen, bringing him in a tight hug.

“I’m here. I’m okay. As long as I’m here with you, I’ll be okay.” Despite knowing he was right, you couldn’t bring yourself to say it. Not because it bothered you that you were wrong, but because right now being in denial was easier than dealing with things. At the end of your words you placed a kiss on his shoulder, then his back, and fell back into the bath, closing your eyes letting the water and Logan’s body take away the tension you now had in you.

“What’d you bring the book for?” Logan’s hands were moving up and down your legs now, clearly picking up on the fact that you were done with the conversation.

“Because when I fall asleep, you’ll need something to keep you occupied.”

He let out a chuckle, a noise that made everything in you happy. You could hear the vibrations in his body and the wave lengths brought you a small amount of energy in your bones especially when he was resting on you like currently.

For Logan, you knowing him so well always made him feel something warm inside. Like a reminder that not only did you love him but knew him. Logan would have fought sleep until he couldn't tonight, the idea of going back to that dream would haunt him until he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore.

“How’s your shoulder?” You felt his body melt a little more into you when he asked, knowing he was responsible for the question even needing to be asked.

“I ever tell you we were made for eachother, Wolverine?” Your lips kissed the top of his head, his wet hair starting to frizz up slightly as it air dried against your chest.

“Once or twice.” He hummed, taking your arms that were wrapped around him up and letting his hands caress them. “Didn’t answer my question though.”

“But I did.” You tapped his chest, signaling for him to sit up. As the water dripped off your body and into the tub, you moved to go grab the two towels, one for Logan and one for you. You were quick to wrap yours around your body and then bring the second one over with open arms. “I can heal Logan. Always have been able to. You can’t tell me that we aren’t perfect for eachother.”

He stood up and grabbed the towel and wrapped it around his waist. “On paper, sure.”

You smirked at that and raised your eyebrows. “Stryker’s papers at least thought so.”

The group that kidnapped you had taken all of Stryker’s research and altered it to use vibranium in replacement of adamantium. You were essentially chosen and then re-created in an effort to contain The Wolverine–go against him as a better version of him–although you ended up just being a different version. There was extreme irony in the fact that you two had fallen in love, and some might even say you two were meant to find each other.

“I meant marriage certificate, bub.” He leaned down to place a kiss on your head before grabbing the book and walking back to your bedroom.

—

Logan eventually fell asleep pretty early in the morning, book across his chest, blanket draped over him. 4 hours of sleep, he’d take it, it was probably the most he’d gotten this week. As he woke up, he instinctively reached for you, his eyes opening to search for you when his grip came up empty. He didn’t bother marking his place in the book when he moved it to nightstand and tossed the new sheet to get up.

He called your name out a couple times, resulting in nothing back but silence. Now he was starting to worry. With a little bit more of speed in his movements, he was searching in all the rooms for you, still calling out for you. He tried to listen for you, stopping in his steps to focus on any sound that would give him a clue but still nothing. It wasn’t unlikely that he just wasn't able to hear you, opposite of him and the adamantium, the vibranium in you made you more swift and silent in your movements compared to his hot and heavy footing. His mind immediately went to the worst, were you taken? Was he asleep when they came in and took you? He’d be hours behind them now. Suddenly he had filled himself with such self-hate to let this happen, it almost made the events from last night feel miniscule. Key word: Almost. Not only could he not protect you from himself but not even the threat. He was grabbing his phone, dialing the school so Charles could search for you, he could get more people ready to go on the hunt.

Logan opened the front door, and that’s when he saw you sitting in the passenger seat of his truck.

“Hey, Sleeping Beauty.” You called out, taking your headphones off.

Logan immediately hung up the phone and just stared at your for a few moments, standing perfectly still on your front porch letting his heart catch up to his brain. “You don’t hear me calling you?” The worry turned into anger, it was apparent in the tone of his voice.

All you did was wave the headphones and shrug your shoulders.

Logan’s head dropped and he took a large breath before making his way over to the passenger door. As he approached, he rested his hand on the open window and leaned down to get a good look at you.

“S’good look on you.” You nodded your head at him being shirtless with his sweatpants falling low enough to show his V line.

With another drop of his head and deep breath, he looked up at you through his thick brows, “What the hell you doin’ out here?” He completely ignored your comment, still trying to understand what was happening and why in the world you were hanging out in his truck.

“Waiting for you.” It was said like he should know what that meant, like you two had made plans the previous night that he should have been well aware of.

“You gotta give me a little more, bub.” He was laughing now, probably his way of trying to control the urge to scream in frustration.

“Packed up our stuff.” Your thumb pointed to the bags in the back. “We got a job to do.”

“What jo–” Logan stopped mid sentence and looked at you as it began to click. There was no way you were actually in the car, packed, and ready to go find the people who were after you.

“We can’t have middle of the night baths every night. Our water bill will be crazy.” Sarcasm. But Logan would take it because it meant you finally were on board to handle this situation instead of run from it.

“When we kill these assholes I don’t think I’ll give a fuck about a water bill.” He was smirking up at you. “I’ll take all the middle of the night baths with you I want.”

It was time. It was time to eliminate the thing that was like a dark cloud over both of your heads. This wasn’t a way to live. Logan was right about that, the nagging thought in the back of your head was right about it. But now? After this? Maybe you two could start some sort of life that was a way to live. Middle of the night baths and all. With a smile you reached for his hand, squeezing it quickly before tilting your head towards your home.

“As much as I hate what I’m about to say,” with a smile you reached for his hand, squeezing it quickly before tilting your head towards your home, “go put a shirt on so we can get out of here.”

Dividers by @realitycanbewhateveridesire <3

🐺 Logan Taglist: (using my all writing taglist currently since this is my first Logan fic!) @drabbles-mc @justreblogginfics @kmc1989

#logan howlett #Logan Howlett x you #Logan Howlett x Reader #Logan Howlett Fanfiction #wolverine #the wolverine #Wolverine x Reader #Wolverine x You #Wolverine Fanfiction #My Writing #Garbinge

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lumibuns-blog · 4 months ago

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Throws Arthur Morgan x reader fluff fic at you

Reader gets recognized while the gang is staying near Rhodes by some estranged and very distant family member who knew her from before she fell in with the gang and is whisked off to their southern mansion (a location that's not actually in the game) as these family member try to "save her" from the gang Arthur has to go in and get her back.

"Go get your girl!"

It was supposed to be a simple shopping trip, it really was. That was until you had gotten recognized. You and the rest of the gang had only been around Rhodes for maybe 2 weeks and Dutch had already integrated himself into their problems as he was apparently known to do. You had only been with the gang a short while now, they saved you from some O'driscolls back in the mountains around the same time they had found Ms. Adler. With nowhere else to go and no family that would take you in you decided to stay with them. All of this is to say that Dutch had kindly asked the gang not to cause trouble and you were in no place to be disobeying that order.

Which is exactly how you found yourself in this situation. You had gotten recognized by some old family friends or maybe distant family? You couldn't really remember. They had only seen you once before your family moved out west to the mountains yet somehow they recognized you. And before you knew it you were being dragged away from Charles and Javier who had come with you as back up. All while this haughty woman had a death grip on your arm saying,

"What in God's name are you doing with people like that, that is simply no place for a lady such as yourself to be in! Now come with us!"

You probably could have easily kicked her away or asked Charles to do it for you but Dutch's reminder to "lay low" rang through your head so you decided to not make a scene, not here at least. You pleaded with your eyes for Javier and Charles to do the same and mouthed the words,

"I'll be fine"

before you were pulled into a carriage

Arthur sat peacefully in his tent, he had gotten back from a job earlier that day and decided to take you advice, that sweet voice of yours still echoed in his head

"Just take break Mr. Morgan, you deserve it"

And so he did just that, speaking of wasn't it about time for you to be getting back?

Charles and Javier had accompanied you to go shopping but that was over an hour ago at least, You should be back by now.

Arthur sat up, maybe he was just being paranoid, you could handle yourself. Plus Charles and Javier were with you and they were capable men. He would have felt much better if he was able to have gone with you, that way not only would he be able to make sure nothing happened but he would have been able to see that sweet smile and those wonder filled eyes as he drove you to town, that soft giggle as you pull him into the general store, and those sweet pleading eyes as you begged him to set aside a bit of the budget for some candies. He would have acted annoyed, pinching his brow and shaking his head before grumbling about how as long as you don't tell Ms. Grimshaw. But in reality he would had already decided he would buy you something special before you set foot on the store even if he had to use his own money. But that was neither here nor there, you had decided to go with Charles and Javier to let him rest which was...fine.

He pulled himself up from his bed and made his way into the center of camp.

"Anybody seen her since she lef' to go do the shoppin?" He asked to those sitting around the camp fire, he didn't need to specify who the 'her' was everyone knew it was you, he always seemed to be referring to you somehow.

"Naw they ain't back yet" Lenny chimes

"Hm ok then" he straightened up and scratched the scar his chin.

"Why ya worried or somethin Arthur" uncle said with a teasing tone.

"No" he grumbled in response

You two were not together in any sense of the word but the connection between you two was so strong and so caring that everyone at camp could see it. Except Arthur of course he remained frustratingly unaware as he was stuck in all his thoughts of you being "too good for him" and him being "a bad man". Just then the wagon pulled up, Arthur quickly identified both Charles and Javier but no you. Before he could ask, Mary Beth ran up

"Where's your company?" She asked clearly puzzled

They both seemed out of breath as they climbed down, the camp now starting to gather around

"She's been taken" Charles panted

Arthur felt his heart drop, "taken where? By who? O'driscolls?" He asked hurriedly, the panic started to seep in.

"No not O'driscolls" Javier said quickly "some rich bastards recognized her when she went into town, they pulled her away from us so fast we didn't even have time to react"

"How could you two let somethin this happen?" Arthur growled, sounding a bit more upset than he would have liked to "God damn it I knew I should have gone with" he trailed off, hands at his sides

"Hold on a minute" Karen interjected "how did she let herself get taken? I mean were these people threatenin her? Were they armed?"

"No and no" Charles confirmed "but she begged us not to make a scene and she said she'd be fine but you know how these things are-"

"What in god's name is going on here" the camps leader suddenly joined the conversation sounding exasperated as Hosea followed, they both noted the obvious lack of your presence.

"She's been taken to god knows where to do god knows what" Arthur growled before Dutch was filled in on the situation

"And none of this would have happened" Arthur continued "if you hadn't gotten so close with those lawmen and asked us not to cause any trouble, you know she only went with 'em to keep the nooses of of our necks" he was starting to clench his hand now, feeling his nails dig uncomfortably into his palms.

What if you were being hurt right now, or worse? He couldn't even bear the thought.

"Clam down Arthur" Hosea soothed "she doesn't seem to be in any immediate danger as of now, we'll get her back don't you worry"

But Arthur couldn't help it and peoples lack of apparent urgency was not helping his brimming rage. Yes in hindsight he was over reacting a bit, in all honesty these people clearly had no intention of hurting you but they could have plans to take you away somewhere he would never be able to see you again. Probably to somewhere more fitting for a lady like you than a camp full of outlaws, somewhere nice like you deserved, he imagined with a heavy heart. But Arthur was a selfish man when it came to you, he wouldn't let anyone else have you or take you away from him, no matter the destination. And it wasn't like it was Marston who had been taken or something damnit it was you! So lord forgive him if he seemed a bit more touchy than he normally would have.

"Oh yes Arthur we'll get your sweetheart back before you know it" Dutch teased earning chuckles from those around him

Arthur loves him like a father but sometimes he swore he could hit the man. He pulled his hat over his face though it did nothing to his the reddening tips of his ears.

"I'm going to get her now before any of you idiots try to do it and mess things up again" he stormed with his hands in the air off towards his horse.

"Ooooo Arthur wants to be the hero!" Karen teased batting her lashes before getting a slap on the arm from Tilly.

Arthur couldn't hide the blush creeping up his cheeks anymore. The fact the camp knew you were the one who had named the horse he had just jumped onto was not helping in any way.

"They headed towards the mansion down past the braithwaite place, thats as far as we tracked them" Charles said coming up beside Arthur "now hurry"

"Thank you Charles" Arthur murmured before a swift kick and a loud "hiyah!" sent him off. Karen's unmistakable cry's of "go get your girl Mr. Morgan!" Ringing through the evening air after him.

As he came up on the mansion he could only stare in awe at its size. He knew your family was somewhat well off but...wow. It forced him back to a now painful conversation he had had around the camp fire some weeks back.

....

"Just admit it O'discoll! You've got a thing for the lady!" Sean teased Kieran about his obvious feelings for Mary Beth.

"I- I do not!" He retorted, clearly regretting his previous excitement at being invited to drink with the rest of them

"Don't deny it that makes you look stupid" Arthur had added after a couple beers

"I wouldn't be talking Arthur..." John murmured before taking another swig

Arthur paused for just a moment before straightening up "The hell you talkin 'bout Marston?" he had spat back

"Come on Arthur don't play dumb" Javier laughed

"I am not-" he scowled

"Arthur I think it's obvious to just about everyone...except you" Lenny pointed at him

"Clearly! What is all this about" Arthur yelled back, starting to feel the heat creep up his cheeks

"The new girl!, it's been so obvious that you're sweet on her from the moment she stepped into camp" Sean boomed and Arthur had never wished more that he had left him there in Blackwater.

"Yeah from what I've heard" Micah slimy voice creeped up from behind him, Arthur had hoped he had left the fire by that point but clearly he intended to stick around, it made his skin crawl "you've always had a thing for those...high society types"

"Now what the hell is that supposed mean" Arthur whipped around to face him, frustration and embarrassment starting to boil over

"If you can't figure it out, I'm not telling" John said in a somewhat half hearted attempt to take the pressure off of Arthur.

....

'Stupid Micah' he thought to himself as he hitched his horse outside the grand entry way and made his way to the door

You say in probably the most lavish yet uncomfortable chair imaginable. You were surrounded by frivolous decor that only seemed to become more ridiculous the longer you stared. For the past 20 minutes you had been getting a lecture on how "your parent's death was no excuse for you to fall in with people like that" you couldn't help but roll your eyes. You didn't see these rich assholes gunning to take you in when your life had practically been turned upside down and now they thought they had the right to tell you how to live your life?

Just the thought made you want to hurl. You dig your fingers impossibly further into the chair's scratchy fabric.

"We think it might be best to send you somewhere back out east" the old prudes voice was clear and sharp yet you could barely hear her over the ringing in your ears.

What you wouldn't give to be back in camp right now. Surrounded by people whom actually cared for you. Back in camp with Arthur playing a game of poker or having him teach you how to shoot. Those strong hands of his always so gentle as he guided your hands to face the target. Anything but here.

Just then there was a loud knock on the front door. Hope filled your heart, you jumped up but before you could move another inch,

"You sit yourself back down now young lady, I'll check the door" the old hag said with a demeaning tone, excusing herself, giving a look to one of her servants to keep an eye on you so you didn't bolt, it wouldn't have been your first attempt. You decided to stay put and play the waiting game. She left to open the front door and though you couldn't see past the corner you heard everything.

"And who might you be?"

"Ma'am I- I heard that you might have a- a young lady staying with you at this particular time" your heart soared hearing Arthur's voice and you couldn't contain the small smile forming on your lips as you heard his attempt at "proper speech".

"And what concern would that be of yours" she bit back

"Well ya see, it would be greatly appreciated if you would allow me to speak to her for jus' a moment theres something I need to tell 'er" obviously sensing the woman's appreciation he continued "I- I don't mean no harm by it or nothin we'll stay right here on the porch"

"Stay here" the older woman quipped

You heard her steps approach the living room once more

"Young lady there is a very scary looking man here to see you" she stated, the look of disgust eminent on her face

You practically shot up from your seat and without another word, ran around the hallway before throwing open the front door.

You were just so relieved to see a friendly face and especially relieved it was the face of the man who brought you the most comfort anyone possibly could. Without thinking you threw yourself onto him.

Arthur stumbled back slightly, not due to the impact, he was plenty strong enough to handle that, but from surprise that you were clinging to him in the first place.

"Oh god Arthur you have no idea how happy I am to see you"

"Likewise" he smiled, awkwardly steadying himself and settling on letting his arms awkwardly pat your back. Though this moment of triumph was soon interrupted by a sharp "ahem" of the adjacent doorway.

Arthur awkwardly, yet incredibly gently pushed you away.

"Would you mind explaining this" the old woman questioned, gesturing to the both of you.

Your mind raced, based on their previous dialogue Arthur clearly had no plan of how to get out of here (that didn't involve shooting someone) so you had to think fast and your mind settled on the first believable thing you were sure she would buy.

"This is- um my...my husband! Arthur Callahan" you said quickly.

He turned to look at you with a confused expression to which you discreetly slapped his leg in an attempt to get him to play along. He got the message.

"Yes, I am an er...oil tycoon who was up 'round these parts on important business"

"Are you really now?" She said looking less than convinced "And who were those rough looking men?"

"They were... employees of Arthur's!" You quickly lied, god this was not going well but she seemed to start to buy it as you spent the next couple minutes answering her scores of questions.

"Yes I had them accompany her while she was out shopping and I was meeting with some... local officials" he had his hands awkwardly clasped in front of him as he rocked back and forth slightly. What could have gotten him so shaken up? I mean this whole situation was less than ideal but he was an outlaw, used to lying and cheating his way out of things, why was this time any different?

"And actually we need to catch a train in..." you felt around for a nonexistent pocket watch

Arthur picked up your slack and pulled out his "look at the time! 10 minutes we best be going!"

"Alright just stay out of trouble you hear!" She called, clearly glad to have you out of her hair and as far as she knew, not soiling her reputation.

You quickly made your way to Arthur's horse, "Married? really?" he questioned as he helped you onto his horse. "I mean if ya wanted to cook for me or somethin ya coulda just asked" he joked in an attempt to deflect his embarrassment that would have been clear to anybody except you.

"It was all I could think of!" You said exasperatedly throwing your hands up, he couldn't help but smile at how you had slowly and subconsciously began to imitate his mannerisms.

"Let's just get ya back to camp"

After a long but comfortable silence on the way back to Clemen's point you looked down at your hands,

"Thank you, thank you Arthur" you started "you're real sweet comin to get me like that, I don't know what I would have done without you. You gotta be...well... the best man I know" you chuckled

That would do it for him

his heart fluttered a bit , He coughed and quickly recovered "I know the company you keep little lady the competition ain't too fierce" he laughed pulling his hat down to hide his face

"Oh hush now" your chuckled, tentatively leaning your head to rest against his back

That settled it alright, he wasn't letting anybody take you from him ever again

#nooo Arthur Morgan don't fall in love with me noooo #rdr2 x reader #arthur morgan rdr2 #rdr2 #rdr2 arthur #rdr2 community #rdr2 fandom #arthur morgan x reader #arthur morgan fluff #arthur morgan #arthur morgan x female reader #arthur morgan x you #rdr2 x you #rdr2 fanfic #rdr #arthur morgan smut #rdr1 #text post meme

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russellsppttemplates · 11 months ago

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It's like we won't even be there (Lewis Hamilton)

Mercedes has three power couples

Note: english is not my first language. After a long time, I'm finally posting this request.

Thank you so much to everyone who likes and reblogs, your feedback is appreciated 🤍 and I'm taking requests so if you have any ideas or concepts you want to share, feel free to do so as I'll try to get to them the best I can!

my masterlist

Tw: mentions gender inequality, misogynistic ideals

Tag list: @myloverjk-blog

"Everyone on social media has an inkling that you're bringing someone to the race. Is it your belle, Mr. Hamilton?", you teased your boyfriend as he got ready for bed.

You had arrived in Abu Dhabi a few hours earlier, caught a cab to the hotel where your boyfriend had been resting before media day.

"Is that so?", he wondered, "I haven't told anyone outside the team. And even them, I told them you would be joining as my guest, only a few people actually know about us", he assured.

"I don't mind it, we'll have to be public at some time. Three years dating outside of the public eye, plus another year of what the kids call soft launching, whatever happens this weekend, happens", you tranquilized him.

This had been an ongoing conversation for you for as long as you've dated. His lifestyle came with many implications, particularly not always being home and public eye. You also spent a lot of time focused on your job, building the company now associated to your name to the people in the finance business, so the latter question was the biggest one. While you were successful, it hardly impacted your life when it came to the public eye or social media. You had your accounts, sure, but they were private and they never got in the way of your job.

"I just don't want people to lash out on you", he replied, sitting next to you on the bed, his fingers tracing shapes in your hand, "I've seen how brutal they can be, I've felt how brutal they can be, and I don't want that for you. They'll gossip because that's how things work, but I don't want them breaking the respect line.", Lewis stated.

"Lew, I understand and appreciate your concern, but I'll be fine. I have you, our families, our friends, I'm going to be just fine. I don't know how they'll react, so I'll work with whatever happens", you smiled, snuggling into him as he caressed your face.

"Good morning, Y/N! How have you been? I haven't seen you in so long!", Carmen said as she hugged you once you arrived in the hospitality, Lewis kissing your cheek briefly before he headed for his meeting.

"Hello, gorgeous girl! I've been good, and you?", you greeted her with a kiss on each cheek after saying goodbye to Lewis.

"Same old, busy but managed to come and support G this weekend. You, however, seem to finally let it out", she smirked, walking with you to the coffee station and serving yourselves, sitting in the balcony as you overlooked the track.

"There's no point in keeping it a secret, I guess. We did it for a while, and this past year we both realised that we want to be able to go out and not be worried someone will see us and whatever consequences it could bring. We're adults who hope other adults will behave like such", you smiled.

"A hard thing to do sometimes, for them at least", you heard a female voice coming closer to you, "I don't believe we've met before, but Toto said you were hanging out here", the blonde woman said.

Suzie Wolff had been someone you looked up to since you were little, so this was a proper fangirl moment, "sit, sit! This is Y/N!", Carmen introduced after giving her a brief introduction.

"I keep missing you whenever you join us for the races!", she said, "the pandemic didn't help, and lately I've been so busy with the F1 Academy that I've hardly been to races myself", she reasoned, beginning the start of a conversation that was only interrupted for lunchtime.

"Press usually have a field day with powerful women related to this sport. You should be able to get away with it because you don't work for racing, but they love going on and on about how we got to where we are because of who we date", Suzie shook her head.

"Absolutely, because George is very interested in Family Offices and he got me my job", Carmen rolled her eyes, "you try and give that guy math stuff and you see how it turns out! Besides, not many people actually knew who he was, they're not very into motorsport, only a couple of them!", she teased.

"Agreed! The only way I was able to have my own company was because I name dropped Lewis, who I didn't know at the time. He doesn't know his numbers all that well. It's so easy for them to point fingers, but it's really just because they hate to see a powerful woman get the job done", you offered, seeing your partners arrive to the table along Laura.

"Social media is going crazy about you, Y/N!", Laura, one of the team's social media managers said while you had lunch, "there's people who spent the whole morning trying to find out who you were and they were faling to find your accounts. Apparently, they were looking in model agencies and such until someone pointed out you studied at the same university as them, and it's pointed them in the right direction I'd say?", she shrugged her shoulders, showing you her phone as she scrolled through media, "they're still trying to find out more, but they only have a few articles from your company and a picture of you when you graduated that is on the university's Wall of Fame!", she made you giggle, fondly looking at the wall of pictures you saw everyday on your way to lectures.

"Are you on the Wall of Fame and didn't tell us, Y/N?", Carmen exclaimed at the new information, "it's barely anything, I'm still there probably because someone forgot to remove the picture", you blushed, suddenly feeling like the table's attention was on you.

"Why would they take out the picture of the most beautiful woman with the most achievements?", Lewis charmed, holding your hand in his as he smiled.

"Are you guys ready for the race? If all goes well, we can get back to the points!", Suzie cheered as she handed you and Carmen your bottles of water.

"Lew has been beating himself up a lot lately, hopefully everything works in their favour", you held your hands together after setting the water bottle on the counter.

It was very touch and go, but the boys ended up with good results given the position they started in.

"Congrats, my love!", you said in Lewis' ear as he squeezed your torso over the barrier, delighting the sight of everyone who was watching and seeing the happy couple, "couldn't have done it without you, gorgeous girl", he yelled back, stealing a kiss before running to the mechanics.

"I'm just going to check where Suzie is and then we can go for dinner, guys", Toto stated, squeezing George's and Lewis' shoulders before checking is phone to see if his wife had seen the text he sent about said dinner.

"The F1 Academy paddock is closed, you can see it from here that nobody is there", George pointed out as his boss frowned.

"I would help you, but I have to go and look for Carmen, too", George scratched his cheek as they walked along the corridor, seeing Lewis open his driver's room door and slumping his shoulders slightly, "Y/N is not here either".

"Where have the Mercedes missus gone...?", Toto muttered.

It didn't take then long to hear the mix of your three giggles coming from the lounging area, the three of you sat in the smaller sofas around a coffee table, hot drinks in your hands as you discussed something avidly but in a relaxing way still.

"Are the three of you willing to have dinner with the three of us? We'll still let you speak between yourselves, okay? It's like we won't even be there!", Toto joked.

#lewis hamilton imagine #lewis hamilton x reader #lewis hamilton fanfic #lewis hamilton fluff #f1 x reader #f1 imagine #f1 fanfic

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emmylksblog · 5 months ago

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HEAVY SECRETS PT.2 // H.FORT

summary: you and hector had a rough week and past relations and secrets keep pulling up until you both explode

content: angst, comfort, happy ending

warnings: curse words, physical fight with no injuries mentioned

words: 5137 (somebody teach me how to summarize, this is getting out of hand 😰)

a/n: idk what i even wrote, i tried to include all the details but i think it mixed wrong 👹

Hector stepped quietly into the guest room, the early morning light slowly rising outside. He paused, looking over at the bed where you were sleeping. The covers were pulled up over you and you were still fast asleep, your breaths slow and steady. He knew you had class later and that you would be waking up soon, so he took a moment to just stand there and watch you sleep.

Hector stepped closer to the bed, reaching out a hand to gently caress your face. His touch was soft, and he carefully pushed a strand of hair away from your face. As he did, he noticed the traces of tears on your face, and his heart ached at the sight.

Hector gently called out your name, his voice soft and quiet. "Hey, cariño. It's time to wake up."

He knew that he had to ask you if you were still going to the evening event with him, and he braced himself for your response.

You stirred slightly as you heard Hector's voice, and slowly opened your eyes. The events of last night came back to you instantly, and you remembered the hurt and anger that had passed between you.

Hector stood there beside the bed, his hand still resting on your face. He looked exhausted, like he hadn’t slept well, but his touch was gentle as he spoke to you again.

"I need to ask you something." His voice was soft and hesitant, and he was obviously trying to keep the hurt and anger from his tone. "Are you still going to the event with me tonight?"

You closed your eyes again for a moment, feeling the weight of his question. Last night had been such a disaster, and you had no idea where the two of you stood. But as you opened your eyes and saw the look on Hector's face, you knew you couldn’t say no.

You nodded slightly, managing to get out a quiet response. "Yeah...yeah, I'll still go with you."

Hector let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding when you agreed to go with him to the event. He didn’t know how he was going to act like everything was fine in front of all their friends and teammates, but for now he was just glad you were still going.

He nodded once in acknowledgement of your answer, his hand still resting on your face. "Okay. Thank you."

Hector gave you a small, tired smile before leaning down and kissing the top of your forehead. He lingered there for a moment, his touch and gaze gentle before he pulled away. "I’ll see you later, then."

With that, he stepped back and headed out the door, off to training with his team.

As he left, you were left alone in the quiet room once again. The kiss on your forehead had been so gentle and tender, but it still stung with the knowledge of what had passed between you the night before.

You lay there for a moment longer before finally sitting up in bed, trying to prepare yourself for the day and the event that evening.

With the decision made to tell Hector everything after the event, you felt a strange sense of peace settle over you. You didn’t know how he would react when you told him the truth, but at least you knew you would be able to finally get it all off your chest.

Several hours later, you found yourself getting ready for the evening event, the nervous anticipation growing with every minute. Hector had gotten back from training earlier in the day, and the two of you had exchanged a few polite words, but both of you were clearly avoiding any kind of serious conversation.

You could hear him moving around in the bedroom, getting ready in there while you finished putting on your makeup in the bathroom.

You stood in front of the bathroom mirror, fiddling with the clasp of the necklace Hector had given you for your birthday. Try as you might, you couldn’t get it to close properly, and it was beginning to frustrate you.

Finally giving up, you let out a small huff of annoyance and walked over to the bedroom, where Hector was getting ready in front of a different mirror.

He looked up as you entered, and you could see the tension in his shoulders and the tired look in his eyes. He had clearly been nervous about tonight as well.

You held up the necklace, still half undone. "Hey... could you help me with this?"

Hector looked over at you, and his expression softened slightly. He could see the frustration in your face, and he knew you must have been struggling with the necklace.

He nodded silently and held out his hand, taking the necklace from you. You turned around, lifting your hair so he could reach the clasp at the back of your neck.

Hector carefully fumbled with the clasp for a moment, his fingers brushing against the back of your neck as he tried to fasten it. The touch sent a shiver down your spine, but you didn’t say anything.

Finally, after a few moments of silence, he managed to get the necklace closed, and you let your hair fall back down. "There you go," he said quietly, his voice soft.

Hector kept his hand on the necklace for a moment longer than necessary, his fingers still resting on the back of your neck. He was trying desperately to maintain his composure, to not let his emotions get the better of him.

There was so much unsaid between you, so many things left hanging in the air. But for now he kept quiet.

You cleared your throat, breaking the silence that had settled around you two. "I'm ready to go," you said, your voice steady. "We should head out soon."

Hector slowly withdrew his hand from your neck, your words snapping him back to reality. He nodded in agreement, still struggling to keep his emotions in check. "Yeah...yeah, let's go."

As soon as you arrived at the event, you were greeted by familiar faces. Marc, Hector's best friend, and Laura, your own best friend, both beamed at you as you approached. They were both so happy together since you had introduced the two of them, and their love was plain to see.

Marc was already on his second drink, clearly in a good mood, and he clapped Hector on the back as you approached. "Hey, there you guys are! We were starting to think you wouldn't show." he said with a grin.

Hector forced a smile, his tension still evident. "Yeah, sorry man. We got held up for a bit."

Laura, too observant for her own good, noticed the tension between the two of you almost immediately. She frowned slightly, sensing that something was off. "Everything okay?" she asked, glancing between you and Hector.

You dragged Laura away from the boys, using the excuse of grabbing a drink to get a moment away to talk. Your best friend, of course, knew the real reason you wanted some time alone, and followed you without protest.

Once you were away from the boys, Laura immediately turned to you, her concern obvious on her face. "So...you still haven't told him everything yet, huh?"

You nodded in agreement, letting out a deep sigh. "No, not yet. I still haven't told him everything. I'm planning to do it after the event, though."

Laura smiled at you, taking your hands in hers. "I’m proud of you," she said sincerely. "It takes a lot of courage to do what you're about to do. And remember, no matter what happens, estoy aquí para ti. (I'm here for you). Always."

You wrapped your arms around Laura and hugged her tight, grateful for her unwavering support and friendship. She hugged you back fiercely, holding you in a warm embrace. "It's gonna be okay," she whispered reassuringly. "You got this."

As you and Laura returned to the group, you saw Lamine and Fermin were there as well, the two boys always quick to tease you and Laura about anything they could.

"Mira quien decidió unirse a la fiesta. (Well, well, look who finally decided to join the party)," Lamine said, grinning at you and Laura. "And here we were worried you two were going to stay in the corner all night, being all moody and sensitive."

As Lamine and Fermin continue teased you, Marc jumped to your defense. "Hey, cut them some slack," he said with a laugh. "They just needed some girl talk, you know how it is." At this Laura smacked his arm.

You couldn't help but glance over at Hector, noticing how quiet he was being. He stood off to the side, his eyes fixed on his drink as he tried to avoid looking at anyone.

Marc seemed to notice your glance towards Hector and raised an eyebrow, but before he could say anything Lamine spoke up again. "So, Hector, what's got you looking so gloom and doom tonight?"

Hector looked up from his drink, caught off guard by the question. He quickly plastered a smile on his face and shrugged nonchalantly. "I'm fine," he said, taking a sip of his drink. "Just a bit tired, that's all."

Marc didn't buy it for a second, but he held his tongue. Lamine and Fermin also seemed skeptical, but they shrugged it off. The conversation shifted to other topics, but you couldn't help but notice the tension that was emanating from Hector like a physical presence.

Your night was going as well as it could, considering the circumstances, when suddenly you saw something that made your heart sink. Your ex-boyfriend, someone you had hoped to never see again, was making his way through the event, a smug smile on his face.

Your ex-boyfriend approached you, that same cocky smirk on his face that you remembered so well. He glanced around at the people surrounding you before leaning in close.

"Hey there, sweetheart," he said, his voice dripping with feigned sweetness. "I was hoping I would see you here tonight."

Laura was by your side in an instant, her protective instincts kicking in as your ex-boyfriend approached. She glowered at him with anger in her eyes, and before you could say anything, she cut in with a sharp response in Spanish.

"Que haces aquí pedazo de mierda inútil? (What are you doing here, you worthless piece of garbage?)" she said, her voice filled with venom.

Marc and Hector were both on edge now, their friendly banter from earlier gone and replaced with a fierce protectiveness. They hurried to your side, standing in solidarity with you and Laura.

Marc's expression was stern as he fixed your ex-boyfriend with a glare. "You heard her. What the hell are you doing here?"

Your ex-boyfriend didn't seem at all intimidated by the protective presence surrounding you. In fact, he seemed to find it amusing, a smirk still on his face. "Relax, guys," he said, holding up his hands in mock surrender. "I just wanted to have a little chat with my girlfriend, that's all."

The words sent a chill down your spine, and you felt Hector tense up beside you.

Marc and the others bristled at the possessive way your ex-boyfriend had referred to you, their eyes narrowing in anger.

"She's not your girlfriend anymore," Hector said firmly, his voice hard. "You lost that privilege the moment you decided to use her like a meal ticket."

Hector moved closer to you, his body instinctively shielding you from your ex-boyfriend. He placed a hand on your shoulder, his grip firm and reassuring.

"You need to go," he said, his eyes fixed on your ex-boyfriend. "Los hijos de puta como tú no son bienvenidos aquí (Assholes like you are not welcome here)"

Your ex-boyfriend's smirk faded slightly at Hector's words, but he still didn't look worried. "Relax, dude," he said, trying to sound nonchalant. "I just want to talk to her a bit, that's all."

Marc stepped forward, his fists clenched. "You know damn well this isn't about talking. You're just here to cause trouble."

You could see that your ex wasn't going to back down, and you didn't want a fight to break out, especially not here and not now. You took a deep breath, steeling yourself, and gestured for the boys to let you handle it.

"It's fine," you said quietly, your tone leaving no room for argument. "Just let me talk to him for a moment."

Hector's grip on your shoulder tightened, and he looked at you with concern in his eyes. "No," he said firmly. "I don't trust him. You're not going anywhere near him alone."

The others nodded in agreement, their expressions just as serious. They didn't want to let you face your ex-boyfriend alone, especially after everything he had put you through.

Marc spoke up, his tone firm. "He's right. There's no way we're letting you go off with him alone."

Laura could see the hesitation on your face, and she knew that you had to not let your ex ruin everything. She stepped forward, her eyes fixed on the object of hate in that circle.

"Listen, you piece of crap," she said, her voice cold. "You get exactly five minutes with her, and then you leave. And if you even think about pulling any crap, these guys will kick your ass all the way to Timbuktu."

With a firm nod to the boys, you followed your ex-boyfriend to a quieter, empty area where you could talk without any interruptions but also where Hector and the others could see you.

Your heart was beating fast, nervousness and fear coursing through you. You knew you had to remain strong and composed, but it was difficult with him standing in front of you.

After a few moments you cam back where your friend were.

Marc and Hector both turned their attention back to you, and their hearts sank as they saw you crying, a hand over your mouth as if trying to hold in the sobs. It was a heartbreaking sight, and they both felt a strong urge to rush to your side.

The boys instantly moved towards you, but Hector was the first to reach you, his heart breaking at the sight of your tears. He gently took your face in his hands, his touch both steadying and soothing. "Hey, hey," he said softly, his voice filled with concern. "What happened? Estás bien amor? (Are you alright love?)"

Hector's mind went into overdrive, his focus solely on finding your ex-boyfriend. He turned his head, scanning the room for any sign of him, his eyes narrowing in anger. "Where is he?" he asked, his voice low and dangerous. "I'll make sure he pays for what he did to you."

The boys around him nodded in agreement, their expressions hardening. They all wanted to make your ex-boyfriend pay for hurting you, but Hector's anger was the most intense. He was ready to tear your ex-boyfriend apart with his bare hands if necessary.

Hector's eyes scanned the room, searching for your ex-boyfriend, when suddenly he saw him talking to a group of people, a smug smile on his face. Hector's hands clenched into fists, his jaw clenching in anger.

"There he is," he muttered, his voice low and intense. "No one else touch him, es mío. (he's mine)"

Marc, Lamine, and Fermin exchanged worried glances, but they knew there was no stopping Hector now. He was on a mission, and nothing would stand in his way.

Hector pushed through the crowd, his eyes fixed on your ex-boyfriend. The other boys followed behind, ready to step in if things got out of hand.

You watched helplessly as Hector approached your ex-boyfriend, his anger radiating off him in waves. Despite knowing violence wasn't the answer, you couldn't bring yourself to stop him. Your emotions were all tangled up, and you could only watch as the scene unfolded.

Hector didn't even bother with any words. He closed the distance quickly, his fist connecting with your ex-boyfriend's jaw before the man even had a chance to react. The blow was hard and precise, sending your ex-boyfriend stumbling backwards from the force.

Your ex-boyfriend let out a cry of pain, clutching his jaw as he stared at Hector in disbelief. Before he could even recover, Hector was on him again, a barrage of punches raining down on the man.

Hector's training and fitness combined with his anger made him a force to be reckoned with. He effortlessly dodged your ex-boyfriend's sloppy punches, retaliating with powerful hits that left the man groaning and stumbling. Despite the other man's dirty tactics, Hector was in total control of the fight.

The staff of the party venue tried to break up the fight, but with Hector's intense fury and your ex-boyfriend's refusal to back down, they struggled to make any impact. Hector was relentless, his focus solely on ruining that scumbag's face."

Every blow was precise and powerful, landing on your ex-boyfriend's body with enough force to leave him gasping for breath.

"This is for hurting her," he growled, his first connecting with your ex-boyfriend's stomach.

"This is for everything she went through because of you," another punch, this time to the face.

Hector's expression was pure fury as he delivered the final blow, his voice filled with emotion as he said the words. "And this is for the baby she never got to have."

Hector stood over your ex-boyfriend, breathing heavily, his fists still clenched. The fight had drained him of anger, and now tears streamed down his face as the weight of his words sank in.

Everyone around them stood frozen in shock. You could see the surprise and realization on the faces of your friends as they processed Hector's revelation.

The silence in the room was deafening, shattered only by Hector's ragged breaths and the soft sobs that escaped him. You stood there, unable to move, as your friends slowly processed the truth that had been revealed.

Marc, Lamine, and Fermin looked at Hector with stunned expressions, their eyes darting between him and your ex-boyfriend, who was now a sorry-looking mess on the floor. They could see the pain and anger etched on Hector's face, along with the tears that refused to subside.

As the staff helped your ex-boyfriend up and escorted him out, you made your way towards Hector. Your tears mirrored his, your emotions in a tangled mess as well.

Hector's head was down, his expression a mix of anger, pain, and sadness. He didn’t look up as you approached, but you could see his body trembling slightly.

As you gently cradled his face in your hands and wiped away his tears, your touch was gentle and filled with affectionate care. Your eyes searched his, trying to communicate your emotion through the silence.

Hector kept his head bowed for a moment, allowing himself to lean into your touch. Then, slowly, he lifted his eyes to meet yours, his gaze speaking volumes. He nodded silently.

The nod, though unspoken, was a confirmation of his knowledge, a silent declaration that his words hadn’t been empty. Hector’s eyes held an intense mixture of pain, guilt, and love.

You could see the storm of emotions raging within him, and it took everything you had not to break down completely yourself.

“How… How long?” you finally managed to whisper, your voice shaky and filled with a mix of pain and disbelief. Your tears continued to fall, your eyes never leaving his face.

His voice is soft and gentle, the anger and violence from moments before entirely replaced by a deep sense of sadness.

“It was a few weeks ago,” he started, his eyes fixed on yours. “I was looking for my charger in your makeup drawer and I… I found the tests.”

He nods slowly, a pang of guilt in his eyes. “I didn’t understand what it meant at first,” he admits, his hands gently holding onto yours that were still holding his face. “But then when you said you had a big secret… it all fell into place.”

The realization of what you had gone through, alone and secretly, hit him hard. Hector's expression hardened once more, but it was laced with pain and self-blame. He felt like he should have known, should have been there for you. Yet he hadn't even known you were pregnant.

You shake your head firmly, your voice barely above a whisper. “It’s not your fault Hector,” you insist, gently caressing his cheek with your thumb. “I wasn’t ready then. Maybe it was for the best.”

Your gentle reassurance washes over him, and Hector’s face softens. He takes your hand from his face and holds it in both of his, intertwining your fingers.

“But I wasn’t there for you,” he murmurs, his voice thick with regret. “You went through all of that alone. I should have been there. I—”

As Hector breaks down in sobs, mumbling about the revelation that you could have been parents, your heart aches at the pain he's going through. Without hesitation, you pull him into a tight embrace, letting him cry against your shoulder.

Amidst the turmoil, Laura and Marc approach, their faces filled with concern. They suggest that it's late and that you both should go home.

You both quietly make your way to the living room, where you sit down on the couch facing each other. The silence continues, neither of you knowing how to begin.

You attempt to start the conversation, opening your mouth to speak, but Hector gently silences you with a kiss on your lips.

The kiss is firm but gentle, expressing a myriad of emotions – apology, regret, love, and a silent plea for forgiveness.

Your heart aches at his words, his despair and regret so palpable. You instinctively reach for his hands, holding them tightly.

“It’s not your fault, Hector,” you whisper back, your voice shaky but firm. “It was my decision, my secret. You couldn’t have known.”

Hector shakes his head, his grip on your hands tightening. “But I should have known,” he insists, his voice filled with self-blame. “I should have seen the signs, understood what you were going through. Instead, I was completely oblivious and treated you like shit.”

Your heart wrenches at his self-deprecating words. You move closer to him, cupping his face in your hands. Your touch is gentle but firm, wanting to make him understand, “Hector, you can’t blame yourself for this. I was the one who chose not to tell you. I chose to deal with it alone.”

Hector takes a deep breath, his gaze never leaving yours. He summarises his feelings, pouring his heart out.

“None of it matters,” he says firmly. “All of that is bullshit. What matters is that I love you. You are the most important thing in my life, and I’d do anything for you.”

His words, raw and honest, hit you like a wave. Your eyes prick with tears again, and you smile weakly at him. “I love you too, Hector,” you murmur, your voice filled with all the emotion that the night has unleashed.

Your passionate kiss takes him by surprise but he quickly responds, his arms wrapping around you, pulling you closer. His body trembles against yours, his own emotions reaching a breaking point.

The tears run freely down your faces as the kiss continues, the salty taste mixing with the desperation and desire in your lips.

The smell of chamomile fills the air, adding a sense of comfort to the otherwise tense atmosphere and Hector returns to the living room, two steaming mugs in his hands. He hands one to you before settling back down on the couch, pulling you against him. The silence returns, but it's not as heavy as before. It's filled with a sense of peace, as if the moment is allowing you both to catch your breaths and just be together.

Hector wraps the blanket around you both, his arms encircling you as he pulls you closer to his chest. The blanket is soft and warm, providing an added sense of comfort and security. You nuzzle into his chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart under your ear and the rise and fall of his chest with each breath.

The warmth of Hector’s body and the soft beating of his heart act as a lullaby for you. Your eyelids grow heavy, and despite the events of the evening, you find yourself slowly succumbing to sleep.

Hector continues to hold you close, watching over you as you drift into a peaceful sleep in his arms.

As you drift into sleep, you catch a soft murmur from Hector. He whispers against your hair, “I’ll always be here for you, my love. No secret will ever come between us again. We’ll face everything together.”

His words, soft and determined, gently guide you into the realm of dreams, his promise holding a sense of love and protection.

You wake up to the sound of birds outside and the gentle sunlight streaming in through the windows. A moment of confusion clouds your mind before you realize where you are and what had happened the night before. Memories of Hector, the revelation, and the intense emotions flood back, and you stir slightly, taking in a deep breath.

As you slowly stretch and turn, you realize that Hector is no longer next to you. The couch where you had fallen asleep feels cold and empty without him. The house is eerily quiet, the air filled with the aftertaste of the night before.

Your panicked mind starts to race. Had he actually been here? Did he leave? Your ex’s words from the night before echo in your mind, and suddenly, fear grips you.

You call out his name, your voice a mix of worry and desperation. “H-Hector? Hector, where are you?”

Silence is the only answer you receive, which just increases your fear and panic. You stand up, eyes darting around the living room as if expecting him to suddenly appear from somewhere. Your steps are quick, your heart pounding in your chest.

“H-Hector? Cariño?” you call again, your voice trembling as you move towards the kitchen, peering around the corner.

The kitchen, too, is empty. There's no sign of Hector anywhere. You start to move faster, your eyes darting everywhere, and a sob threatens to escape from your throat.

“Hector, please,” you whimper, your voice breaking, “where are you? Please, this isn’t funny.”

Your words echo in the silent house, and just as despair threatens to overwhelm you, you hear a sound coming from upstairs. A soft thump, followed by another sound, is barely audible, but it's enough to make you freeze.

You reach the top of the stairs and turn towards your bedroom, your heart in your throat. There, standing in the doorway, is Hector. He's rummaging through the drawers, clearly searching for something.

Seeing you, he whips around, startled by your sudden appearance. His eyes widen when he sees the panicked look on your face.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” he soothingly says as he crosses the room and pulls you into a tight embrace. “I’m right here. I’m sorry, I didn’t want to wake you.”

Your body trembles against his, the panic slowly receding as you realize he’s alright. You bury your face in his chest, taking comfort in his strong arms around you.

Hector pulls back slightly, his eyes meeting yours. He looks guilty, seeing the aftermath of his unintentional scare.

“I know, I know,” he says, gently brushing a strand of hair away from your face. “I didn’t mean to scare you, I swear. I was just looking for my earbuds.”

You can’t help but laugh softly at his words, relieved and amused by his constant misplacing of his earbuds. It was oddly endearing, and in that moment, it brought a small sense of normalcy back into your tumultuous lives.

“You’re always losing those things, you know that?” you tease, poking him lightly in the chest.

Hector grins sheepishly at your poke, unable to deny your observation. “Que puedo decir? (What can I say?)” he defends himself, holding up his hands in mock surrender. “I’m perpetually distracted by this beautiful woman who keeps occupying my thoughts.”

He leans in closer, a mischievous glint in his eye. “It’s your fault I can’t concentrate on keeping track of my belongings.”

As Hector grins at you, a small cut on his lip suddenly draws your eye. It's small but visible, a remnant of the fight the night before. Your heart lurches at the sight, and your hand instinctively reaches out to touch his lip.

“Hector,” you murmur, your voice laced with worry, “your lip... did he hurt you during the fight?”

Your hands move quickly, checking over his face and body for any other signs of injury. Your touch is gentle but urgent, your eyes scanning every part of him.

Hector, noticing your frantic search, stops you by grabbing your hands. “Tranquila,” he reassures you, his voice soft and steady, “I’m fine, I promise. It's just a small cut, nothing serious.”

You glare at him, your hands still grasped in his. “You better not be lying,” you warn, your voice firm, “If I find out you're hiding any other injuries, you're in for it.”

With that, you gently but forcefully tug him towards the bathroom, determined to inspect and treat his lip.

Once in the bathroom, you make Hector perch on the edge of the counter while you rifle through the medicine cabinet. You grab a bottle of antiseptic and some cotton swabs, readying yourself to clean his cut.

Meanwhile, Hector watches you with a mix of amusement and adoration. “You’re so bossy,” he teases, a small grin tugging at one corner of his mouth.

“Hush,” you mutter, but you can’t help the small smile that tugs at your lips. Despite your best attempts to maintain a stern facade, Hector’s charm constantly manages to crack through your barriers.

You approach him again, dabbing the cotton swab into the antiseptic. “This might sting a bit,” you forewarn, leaning in to gently clean around his cut.

Hector's hands find their place on your hips as you work, his touch firm and possessive. His hold is reassuring, a silent communication of trust and comfort.

“You really don't need to fuss over me like this,” he comments as you continue to clean the cut.

You roll your eyes at his comment, not convinced. “Yeah, sure. Knowing you, you’d forget you got hurt and let it get infected if I didn’t do this,” you retort, dabbing more antiseptic on the now-clean cut.

Hector grins cheekily, bouncing his weight from side to side as his hands remain stubbornly glued to your hips. “But you love me,” he counters, playing with the sides of your his shirt.

You place a gentle kiss on the tip of his nose, your eyes meeting his in a soft, heartfelt gaze. “Yes, I do,” you reply, your voice brimming with affection.

And with those simple words, all the tension from the night before dissipates. Hector's grin broadens, a deep warmth flooding his heart at your reaffirmation of your love for him. He brings one hand up to cup your cheek, his thumb gently caressing your skin.

There, in the quiet confines of the bathroom, you and Hector find a moment of peace and love amidst the turbulence of life. And even as the world continues to present its challenges, you know that as long as there's love between you, you can face anything together.

@jajajhaahaha

#hector fort #hector fort x reader #hector fort x you #fc barcelona x reader #fcb x reader #marc guiu #marc guiu x reader #pablo gavi x reader #footballer x reader #footballer x y/n

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vcill · 2 years ago

Note

Heya 🫰🏻

Could I request something like "What the brothers would say to you to get you into the mood"?

I love your writing and am very curious about your ideas 👀

Thanks for requesting!

Lucifer:

He's the devil for a reason.

Would act the complete opposite then how he's usually does in bed.

If you have a praise kink, time to go crazy!!

Starts off innocent, probably asks you to sit on his lap and tell him about your day.

Will listen to every word, if you say you did well on test he'll tell you how proud he is to be able to be with someone so smart and pretty/handsome.

If it's the opposite, and you ended up failing, instead of one of his many lectures, he tells you it's okay and he'll give you extra help next time.

Slowly starts to rub your thigh or back as you continue giving you kisses here and there.

Hums in acknowledgment as you continue on about your day. Probably moves you from his desk towards his bed.

Lays you down on your stomach and will tells you it's a massage but the slick bastard won't say what kind.

You'll definitely find out once his cold his slip down in to your clothes and start toying with you .

Tells you to keep talking as he continues, if you asked what he's done the only response is: "Don't worry about it sweet thing, why don't you continue where you left off, hm?"

Next thing you know, he's pounding into you like there's no tomorrow while still making you tell him about your day, if you stop, he stops.

If you ended up not doing too well in the school day, its a slap on the ass for each thing that you told him.

Pretty much is just comforting then uses it against you.

This is pretty much one of the "softer" ways he gets you in the mood, even if you somehow don't catch on right away.

Mammon:

Once again, Mammon did something to get in trouble. If it wasn't with Lucifer, then probably the witches, or his brothers- maybe even Diavalo.

Regardless, this is probably the right time this week and it wasn't even Wednesday day.

Even Lucifer was shocked how much trouble the second one was being.

After another lecture, Mammon showed up to your room still in a pouty mood from earlier.

The least he wanted was another lecture, which is why before you could even start, he cut you off.

"How 'bout we make a deal, yeah?"

Now you know better then to make deals with him, considering all the other times he made one with that had you ended up being stuffed full and exhausted.

But if it could stop his behavior, then so be it.

For the next 7 days, he acted like an angel. Being nice to his brothers, paying off some debt. Even studying. (Everyone was shocked, even you)

But the real action was when he was with you.

"Ya like it when I'm a good boy, right?"

Acts so submissive and even asks and begs you to do things that he would never had done before.

"Promise I'll be good, I'll always be good for ya, I'm your little mambaby ain't I?"

If you're into it, he'll add a bit of mommy/daddy kink into the mix.

But of course with him m acting like this, how could you not want to treat him let me a good boy?

Always asks if you want him touch, lick , suck or bite a certain part of you, and when you say yes, you think you see Simeon in the purgatory hall.

Of course he totally wasn't trying to plan this. Totally.

Leviathan:

Roleplay all the way with this man.

I feel like this is the only time where he REALLY feels confident.

Starts off with something corny, probably from a video game like "The mighty prince Leviathan, has once again slain the dragon. Now to find the princess/princess!"

You'll be laying on his bed, striking a dramatic pose "Thank you thy knight! For saving me, you shall receive a special award."

"I am glad my great efforts receive such praise, I'll do my best to serve your highness"

Honestly you two being very silly and goofy but turned on nonetheless.

While giggling, he kissing your neck while le giving you a few special marks, calls them protection stamps. (IDK what to call them just something goofy 😭)

Puts you before him, will kiss every part of you and go down, while he does he describes every part of you in such great detail.

"Your majesty brings me such bliss."

"Will the knight let me sit on my throne?''

"You own everything in this kingdom my prince/princess, take what's yours."

The confidence surge in him would be so hot, he's making sure you are definitely treated as a royal should be. Maybe even more then Barbatos treats Diavolo.

Other roleplays could as be a masquerade ball where you two fuck as strangers but turns out you know each other all along.

Forbidden lovers, needing to stay quiet to not get caught.

Or as if you were trapped in a video game, and new to fuck to get out. (This one might actually happen knowing him).

He's a silly stinky otaku but we love him 💕

Satan:

A little similar to Levi.

Maybe after reading a spicy/romance book he gets into the mood.

Starts off quoting after certain books he's read to see if you remember.

When you repeat the other half correctly, he gets so turned on for some reason. If you don't remember he still will but not in the same way. (Sadistic and Satan both start with a S for a reason.)

Depending on if you answer, he'll continue on, the part he's reciting most likely from a smut.

"They lay there, with not a care in the world, unknowing of what the creature lurking might do."

Even if you are getting fucked mercilessly, you still have lines to say!!

"They moaned the creature fucking Them better then any human could."

(Spoiler alert: They love the monster 🤭)

If not roleplay, he'll have your read the book instead, making sure to exactly get to the spicy part.

While you read it aloud, he starts touching you. Slowly rubbing up and down your area, may even go down on you while you read it.

Better yet does the same thing you describe in the book. If the creature is throat fucking the MC, get prepared.

Every single position you also find yourself in, some of these you never knew even existed, but can't help but to moan like a fucking animal.

If the book had pictures, you would match it completely once you were done reading.

He'll continue reading until he gets to another smutty part, in which it's your turn to read.

And mostly likey get your brains fucked out. 👌🏾

Asmodeus:

Ooo boy

When is he not trying to turn you on?

Asmo has a very very high sex drive, which is obvious with how many past partners he's had.

Cause of this, y'all are pretty much fucking 24/7.

Isn't afraid to hide when he wants you, you could be sitting at the dinner table and he'll make direct eye contact while licking a spoon a little to lewdly.

Moans a little too hard when eating a dish and saying it's good. Leans over over gives you a bite too, making sure it gets on your cheek for him to lick away.

If you decide to tease him back, his horniness go up 100x.

After dinner pretend not to remember what happened at the dinner table and go to his room as normal only to get pinned to the wall in a second.

"Mc, I'm so hungry, maybe even hungrier then beel"

Go ahead and let him get that desert, extra cream too please!

Switches and you'll be sucking him off messily. drool and slobber everywhere and loud sucking noise filling the room.

"Mc, your so nasty I love it."

Cums on your face, with some getting on his torso, will look at you with the most innocent eyes and ask you to clean him up.

Whines so much whenever you ride him, gripping onto your hips hard, begging for you to go faster.

He'll sound like he just came out of a hentai, saying things that surprisingly, you only got to hear.

But never ever neglect him for too long, as bold as he is, he'll get even bolder.

In a meeting with Diavolo instead of being with him? Don't worry, he'll tell a good excuse on why you should be with him instead. Maybe even invites the demon prince.

(100% think he talks dirty to you in other languages, whatever language it is, is your choice!)

Beezlebub:

Innocent baby that doesn't realize he's a complete beast in bed. (He does a lil)

Food play doesn't always have to come in here, a lot of times it's whenever you guys are alone together.

Can be very blunt. Just makes eye contact with you and asks "Can I fuck you?"

Or if he wants to be more romantic, he'll get on his knees and rest on your thighs, purring against them. Leaves a few hickies too.

Sucks you off/eats you out always talking about how good you feel.

Now this is where food play can come in. Maybe gets some honey, chocolate syrup, icing. (Icing works best for clean-up imo.)

Licks and slurps it off so messily, moans in delight when he taste your cum in the mix.

"m'still hungry mc, spread it a little more, please?''

Pulls your legs as far as they can to keep licking down there, his tongue can also get longer as he please, so definitely hits all those spots.

When he puts his dick into you, it's a messy make out session. Left over syrup falling from both of your lips, drool dripping down your chins, beel has never felt so full before.

"Mc, you got something on your chest, don't worry, I'll get it for you."

He gets it all right, maybe even does a little bit of a deep clean too.

Tbh, all he needs to do is look at you with those pleading, seemingly innocent eyes and you'll be gone in seconds.

Belphegor:

Since he sleeps a lot, his sex drive won't be high but that doesn't mean he ain't needy.

Ironically, when you're the one sleeping, he's horny.

Can do dream manipulation imo. goes into whatever dream you're having and changes it up a bit to have him in there.

It's a weird one, you're back in the human world in your room about to take a nap, until Belphie comes from under it and grab onto your legs.

"You're not tired yet, are you?"

"It's not fair if you're sleeping and not me, help fall asleep too?"

Slowly you start to wake up as Belphie moves inside of you. Moaning into your ear. You're gonna help him, right?

While he thrusts, you mumble sleepy the words "I'll help you" over and over.

When you cum, he complains," it's not fair that I didn't get to cum yet, so why should you sleep?"

Overstimulates you like crazy, when you start to get a little loud he ask how is he supposed to fall asleep with all the noise.

If you're too quiet, he says he can't call asleep without a little noise in the room.

"m'getting tired, you go on top so I can rest."

Will sit back and seemingly fall asleep while you do the work bouncing up and down.

If you try to stop thinking he's sleep, he thrusts up telling you he isn't done yet and to continue.

"Belphie, I'm tried, can we please continue later?"

"We have school in the morning, mc. I can't go to school without sleep, can I?"

Younger sibling brattiness sure is kicking in right now.

"If you don't want to help anymore, I'll just get beel to help you."

Last time that happened, you couldn't even go to RAD in the morning, to tired and numb to walk.

So go ahead and help little Belphie sleep, okay? It's better when you both fall asleep anyway.

#beelzebub x reader #belphie x reader #leviathan x mc #obey me headcanons #obey me x chubby reader #obey me x female reader #obey me x gn!reader #satan x reader #mammon smut #obey me headcannons #obey me smut #obey me levithan #obey me satan

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sethsclearwater · 1 year ago

Note

Could you do a fic for Paul in which reader never has been in a healthy relationship so now she's getting used to the gentleness that comes with our boy Paul. How do you think he would be with her?

Btw I love all your fics💖

thank you!! 🥺🤍

...

you were woken up by your imprinter's warm touch on your arm, gently squeezing the muscle to wake you up, "hey princess," paul murmured, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your temple.

you let out a soft groan, blearily knuckling at your eyes to wake yourself up a bit more, "need you to get up for me real quick," he said softly and you frowned, not sure what he meant as you rolled over onto your other side so you were facing him.

despite the fact that it was clearly still the middle of the night based on the darkness in your room, you were able to make out his features, "'s wrong?" you asked softly, still trying to knock the fatigue out of your system as you asked your question.

paul offered you a soft smile, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead, "you jus' started your period is all," he explained and you frowned, looking down to see that there was a small blood stain on the sheets from when you must've started your period earlier in the night.

"oh i'm sorry-" you murmured, quickly sitting up so you could change the sheets for him but paul stopped you, sliding his hand over your hip so he could gently tug you back down.

"'s not your fault," paul reassured, "i think i have some tampons in the bathroom somewhere if you want one," he added and you slowly nodded, blushing as you peeked up at him.

in your previous relationship, your ex was beyond disgusted with you when you bled through the sheets, making you clean everything up while he went to go sleep on the couch. so paul having the complete opposite attitude was a welcome surprise to say the least.

"thank you," you whispered after a moment of processing his words and paul just offered you a smile, leaning down to press a quick kiss to your lips.

he offered your hip a soft squeeze before he was getting back up and you followed shortly after, letting out a quiet whimper when you felt the all too familiar cramps begin to plague your abdomen.

"cramps?" he asked softly as he came around the bed to squat in front of you, taking your hands into his while he waited for your response.

you nodded, closing your eyes to take a few deep breaths while you waited for them to subside enough for you to get up. after a moment, you opened your eyes again and paul gently squeezed your hands, "i should have some midol in the bathroom if you want to take that," he suggested and you nodded, taking your hands out of his so you could wrap your arms around his neck and pull him into a tight hug.

paul just let out a breathy laugh, hugging you back, "you're doing great princess," he reassured, pressing a kiss to your temple before you gently released your grip on him so he could slide his hands down to rest on your thighs.

"you wanna get some new pajamas and i'll go find the midol?" he asked, standing back up when you nodded and taking your hands into his so he could help you up.

while you grabbed a pad out of your bag and got changed into a fresh pair of pajamas, paul went into the bathroom on a hunt for the spare midol he apparently kept lying around.

you padded over to the bathroom after a moment, the light from the bathroom taking you a moment to adjust to before you saw paul pulling out a box of the infamous midol from the cabinet.

he looked over his shoulder when he saw you, offering you a small smile when he saw how shy you looked despite the fact that you two had been dating for nearly 6 months now. you slid your hands around your waist in a weak attempt to dull the cramps in your abdomen.

"here you go," he said softly, handing you one of the midol pills and your hydroflask that you lugged around with you everywhere. you offered him a small smile, taking the pill and swallowing it with a sip of water, "why don't you go lay down in the living room for a little bit while i get the sheets in the washer?" he asked, smiling as you stepped closer to him so you could rest your head against his chest and wrap your arms around his waist.

he kissed the crown of your head, gladly hugging you back. the two of you stood there for a few moments, just relaxing in each other's embrace before you felt your cramps flaring up again and realized you needed to lay back down.

as you let out a quiet whimper, paul slid his hands down to your lower back, gently kneading at the muscles there for a moment before he was releasing his grip on you so you could head into the living room.

while you went and laid down on the pullout couch in the living room, paul quickly got the sheets off the bed and into the washing machine.

when he came into the living room, he let out a quiet laugh to himself when he saw you already sleeping on the pullout couch with your favorite blanket thrown haphazardly across your figure.

he quickly got onto the bed with you, the squeaking from the mattress waking you back up just enough to roll over so you were curled into his chest.

#paul lahote #paul lahote x reader #paul lahote imagine #paul lahote blurb #paul lahote fluff #twilight #the twilight saga #twilight imagine #twilight wolves #twilight wolfpack #twilight wolves imagine #imagine #blurb #fluff

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viennacherries · 8 months ago

Text

QUOTH THE RAVEN - CHAPTER 1

Rolan/Tav | NSFW | 5,554 words

Summary:

'"Just... Let me look after you. Please?" He doesn't say anything for a moment, so you look back up at him. His eyes flick back and forth between both of yours, as if searching for something, and finally he sighs. "Okay."'

Read it on AO3

"Seriously, soldier, we'll be fine! You need to rest."

You pout at Karlach's continued insistence, but you can feel yourself losing the battle against her iron will. "I don't need to rest, I need to make sure you idiots don't get yourselves killed!"

She laughs at that, loud and unapologetic as she always does, "I'll try not to take that personally, shall I?"

"Well. Not you , obviously. But I don't trust the others. Astarion and Laezel are liable to start swinging at the slightest inconvenience, and Gale's good at pissing people off."

Her raucous laugh continues, "I'll keep 'em in check, soldier," she lifts her hand up to her eyebrow in mock salute, before letting it drop, "you can count on me."

You sigh. Reasonably, you know they'll manage without you, but it feels wrong letting them go without you.

Karlach, as if she can read your mind, speaks again. "Seriously, Tav. We'll be okay. And you deserve a break. It's been a rough couple of weeks."

You nod silently. She's right about that, at least.

When she doesn't say anything else, you sigh. "Fine. But please be careful?"

Karlach smiles wide, "you know me!" She claps you on the back firmly, and you're thankful that her touch is palatable now with the installation of Dammon's upgrade. You're sure the gesture would've burnt a few days ago. "I spoke to Jaheria, she's sorted a room with a bed for you. Get yourself a pint and then sleep!"

The idea of an actual bed is the final tip of the scales that seals your fate, so you nod and squeeze her arm in thanks. An actual mattress? A private room rather than a tent? You couldn't possibly turn your nose up at such a generous offering.

Karlach retreats to the gate of Last Light, where the rest of your companions are waiting for her, and they all leave together into the shadows. You let out a deep sigh, then turn and head into the inn.

The atmosphere is slightly less awful now than when you first got here. People perked up a bit when your party arrived, which you're both thankful for and absolutely terrified by.

Well. Some people perked up.

Your eyes land on the back of Rolan's head, and you feel your stomach knot. His earlier admonishments towards you are probably at least half of the reason Karlach and the others insisted on leaving you here.

You'd be lying if you said his words hadn't hurt. You never wanted to be a leader, never wanted people looking to you for guidance. You're trying your best. And you like Cal and Lia.

He doesn't care about how hard you're trying. It's a little hard to blame him, but it still hurts. You'd really hoped to be able to at least call him a friend.

There had been a moment, during the celebrations at the grove, that you wondered if you'd perhaps be able to call him more. Cal and Lia had left to get drinks, and Rolan had met your eye with a lopsided, boyish grin, and you'd been struck by how handsome he was. He'd made a joke about something and your faces had inched closer as you both laughed.

Then Cal and Lia had returned, and the moment had passed.

He won't even look at you now. As you slide up to the bar and ask Ike to pour you a drink, Rolan pointedly avoids meeting your gaze. You clear your throat in a way you hope seems casual, and from the corner of your eye you see his scowl.

"Rolan..."

"I don't want to talk to you. I've said all I need to."

You frown. "I know, but-"

He huffs, "I'm not interested in hearing your apologetic platitudes. You're hiding in here while your companions do all the work. Some leader you are."

You feel your blood pressure spike, and you turn to face him properly. He still doesn't look at you, but he squirms slightly under your attention. You can't help the bite that your words come out with.

"I never wanted to be a leader, you arsehole. I never asked for any of this. If you think you could do a better job, by all means be my fucking guest." He flinches slightly as you spit the words at him, but doesn't otherwise react, so the words keep spilling out. "And it's bold of you to accuse me of hiding, considering you've been sat here on your arse doing nothing but drink since we got here. You're more than welcome to hate me, but don't try and pretend you've somehow got the moral high-ground here."

You know the words are harsh, but you still find some satisfaction in the way his posture deflates. Knowing he might now feel a portion of the guilt he thrust onto you makes you feel a little smug. Ike places your drink on the bar, looking between the two of you nervously, and you thank him before taking your drink and leaving as quickly as you can. You don't spare Rolan a second glance as you ascend the stairs to find the bed you were promised.

The door shuts behind you and you click the lock firmly, leaning your forehead against the wood. You can feel the regret seeping in, so you down half of the pint of bitter ale and rub your temples.

He deserved that. He did.

You feel better now.

Except you know you're lying to yourself.

You don't want to shout at him. You don't want to make him feel bad. You want to give him a hug and tell him how sorry you are that he's going through this.

But you don't. Instead you finish your drink.

You keep telling yourself that he deserved it as you lay back on the mattress, holding the still-cold glass to your forehead to battle the headache you can feel brewing. You eventually fall into a fitful sleep.

~~~

It's impossible to know night from day here, but when you wake you're reasonably sure by the dryness in your throat that it's the early hours of the morning. You drag yourself out of the bed somewhat reluctantly, the thought of a crisp glass of water being all that propels you forward.

The inn is quiet at this hour. There are a few people dotted around still, talking in hushed tones and nursing drinks or reading, but for the most part it's empty.

You can't help it, your eyes dart to where Rolan was. He's not there, which makes you feel a little better. Hopefully he's in a dark corner somewhere, sleeping off the drink.

There's no one tending the bar at this hour, so you round it and pour yourself a cup of water. It's as you raise it to your lips and take a sip that you notice there's a strange looking artefact sitting on the far end of the counter. You've never seen anything like it before. It looks like it's made of brass, with elaborate arching prongs surrounding a bright blue crystal in the centre.

Fuck it, you've never been one for minding your business. Besides, if it's sat out in the open it's basically begging to be touched, isn't it? You cast a sidelong glance around the tavern to check no one is looking and then sidestep towards it. As soon as you press your fingers to the cold metal, the gem begins to shine, and a projection is brought forth.

"Lia, Cal - if you see this, stay put."

Rolan looks almost regal in the projection, a picture of strength and arrogance. His tone is commanding, firm and assured, and you wonder how he feels justified in that when-

Your words from earlier flood back to you without warning.

"It's bold of you to accuse me of hiding, considering you've been sat here on your arse doing nothing but drink since we got here."

Your heart drops. Oh.

The glass of water makes a loud clinking noise as you slam it onto the bar. The sound still rings through the air as you grab a sword leaning against the doorway and sprint out into the shadows.

~~~

In hindsight, you probably should've waited for your party to return. But how could you? You have no idea how long ago Rolan left that message. He could already be in trouble.

The shadows feel colder without the company of your companions, and you're immensely grateful for the pixie's blessing. The darkness grasps at your ankles, nipping like a dog at your heel, and the cursed foliage around you seems to be watching your every step. This place is awful and dangerous enough when you're travelling with your friends, never mind completely alone.

That line of thinking just brings you back to Rolan, though. Alone somewhere in the shadows, with no real combat experience and no pixie's blessing. He's likely got a torch or a dancing lights cantrip, but those don't fend off the curse nearly as well. The realisation makes the air feel even colder.

It's dark tonight. Darker than usual, that is. There's a dense fog across the land that makes it hard to keep track of where you came from. Rolan could be anywhere, and you can barely see 10 feet in front of you. Gods, you should've waited for the others.

And then you hear it. The unmistakable sound of Rolan's voice shouting an incantation, and the withering scream of a shadow creature falling. Wherever he is he's out of your eye-line, so you sprint towards the noise blindly.

For a man with little practice in a fight, Rolan is holding his own. He stands tall and confident in the face of the several creatures surrounding him, and you can see he's felled at least two of them already. But you can also see the hidden signs of his exhaustion. Some of his spells sputter as they take shape, and the dancing lights above his head flicker every time he casts. His arms - stretched out in front of him - shake with effort, and his usually perfectly pinned hair has fallen in places. Distantly, in the background of your mind, you let yourself admire him.

The loosing of his next spell, a magic missile that cuts through the chest of the creature closest to him, pulls you from your reverie, and you jump into the fray without thought. The shadow creatures screech and howl at the sting of your blade as they disintegrate around it, and just as one grabs at your arm you feel it's grip loosen as Rolan incinerates it, the heat beating against you.

When the creatures are dispensed and you're surrounded by nothing but their vestiges, you turn back to look at Rolan. He's already looking at you.

There's a long, charged moment where you both stand there staring at each other, panting to regain your breath, and once again you're struck by his beauty. He's shrouded in the cursed gloom, but his bright yellow eyes cut through the twilight. His hair is dishevelled around him, and the loose strands fly around him in the cold breeze. The cantrip above him illuminates him from overhead and casts an intense shadow on all of his features, and it makes his jawline look even sharper.

You take a step towards him, and whatever spell that surrounds the both of you shatters. His face furrows into a scowl.

"Gods damn it all! I can do nothing right - not a damn thing!"

He's shaking, possibly with rage, possibly adrenaline. Possibly with the knowledge that he very nearly met his end.

"Rolan, what are you doing out here?"

You know the answer already, you're not sure why you ask. He answers regardless.

"I was looking for Cal and Lia! What else? Instead I found myself cornered by shadow-fiends and in need of rescue. By you of all bloody people!"

You ignore his remark, "you were trying to help your family, Rolan. You're being too hard on yourself."

His response is muttered under his breath. "Or not hard enough."

You frown, but before you can argue he speaks again. He won't look you in the eyes, his gaze fixed on the floor.

"Just... be on your way. I'll return to Last Light. I know when I'm outmatched."

He turns to leave and you reach out without thinking, grabbing his wrist and yanking him back. He looks at you in shock.

"Are you stupid? I'm not letting you go off on your own again. We're going back together."

His responding scoff sounds insulted, "brilliant, so you don't even trust me to walk on my own anymore?"

"That has nothing to do with it." You pause for a moment, hesitating over your words. "I was worried about you, Rolan. I didn't know if I'd be able to find you and-"

"Oh, so you didn't trust me to begin with! How reassuring!"

"Shut up !" His face falls at your outburst, but he doesn't say anything else. "I didn't know if I was going to be able to find you, and I wouldn't have been able to live with myself if the last thing I said to you was something horrible. Something I didn't even mean. So, for all the Gods' sake, don't wander off on your own again. Just..." You can feel a blush rising on your face, and you pray he can't see it in the low light of the evening. You drop your eyes to the ground. "Just... Let me look after you. Please?"

He doesn't say anything for a moment, so you look back up at him. His eyes flick back and forth between both of yours, as if searching for something, and finally he sighs.

"Okay."

You let out a breath. "Okay."

He snorts. "Okay."

You can't help snorting back, and shake your head at him in disbelief.

The both of you stand there for another moment, and you suddenly realise that you're still holding onto his wrist. You clear your throat and drop it, nodding decisively.

"Okay." He snorts at you again, but you ignore it. "I'm pretty sure the inn is that way."

He quirks an eyebrow, "pretty sure?"

You respond with an affirming noise and he snorts once more, "well, that's reassuring."

You glare at him. "Well, I'm incredibly sorry." You begin walking and he follows. "I wasn't paying too much attention when I legged it towards the sound of you getting your ass kicked."

He lets out a real laugh at that, which is both surprising and delightful. You can't remember if you've ever heard him actually laugh. It's bright and clear and somewhat musical, and the smile he wears with it suits him much more than his usual scowl.

"Is that what it sounded like? I rather hoped it was more like a remarkable wizard teaching some abominations their place."

It's your turn to snort at him now, "if that makes you feel better."

He chuckles, and you slip into silence as you fall into step beside each other. It's silent for a long while before you speak again.

"I wanted to-"

"I should really-"

You both stop, turning to look at each other, and he laughs.

"Sorry, sorry. Ladies first."

"I wanted to apologise. For the way I spoke to you earlier. That wasn't fair."

He shakes his head, burying his hands in his pockets as he continues walking with you. "Not at all. I was rude to you first, I should be the one apologising."

" Ah��, so you admit I was rude?"

He laughs, "well, calling me a useless drunk isn't the nicest thing I've ever heard you say, but I suppose it wasn't entirely undeserved."

You frown, "I'm pretty sure I didn't-"

"Not quite in those words, no, but I rather think that was the gist. Regardless, there's no apology necessary. I've been incredibly unfair to you."

You shrug, and your steps echo in the silence. "Not really."

You can hear the frown in his voice, "Tav, I mean it I-"

He cuts himself off as you come to an abrupt stop.

"Tav?"

You look around and sigh. "Rolan. We've gone in a circle."

"We have?"

"We have."

You can see his confusion, "how can that be possible?"

You sigh deeply. "I don't know. This place is weird, and the fog is too dense. I have no idea where we're going. All I know is that we walked past that tree stump earlier."

There's a long pause before he speaks again.

"So... What now?"

"Honestly?" You sigh again as you look off into the distance, seeing nothing but dense mist. "We can either keep going and hope we find the inn, or we can camp out here until the fog lifts a bit."

He looks scandalised, "camp? Out here ?"

"Well. It wouldn't really be camping. We don't have any supplies. Or a bedroll. Or a tent. It's more like... Sitting down and waiting."

He grimaces. "Sounds delightful."

You shrug, "it's up to you."

When you look at him again, he looks conflicted, but eventually he nods. "Very well, I suppose staying here is better than getting ourselves more lost."

You nod in agreement. "Wise choice."

~~~

It's not like you didn't already know this, but it's becoming increasingly apparent that Rolan is not a patient person.

You managed to find a spot with a rock outcropping that made a good enough shelter. The problem is, for both of you to fit under it, it's a little cramped. But you didn't want either of you sat out in the open where anything could spot you, so you'd reluctantly backed up to the wall and against Rolan's side.

It's a bit maddening, being this close to him. His scent fills your nostrils (he smells like the weave and something musky, like sandalwood), which is incredibly distracting, and up close you notice he's covered in freckles. They cover his cheeks and forehead and climb their way up to his ears. He's also taken his hair down, which is frankly rather rude of him. It looks soft.

What's ruder is the fact that he literally cannot sit still. His legs bounce where they're stretched out in front of him, and every few minutes he adjusts his posture with a loud groan.

When his leg starts bouncing again for the umpteenth time, your hand shoots out and grabs his knee on its own accord to hold it down. He jumps at the contact and whips his head towards you, and the look of alarm he's wearing would be funny if he wasn't driving you insane.

"Rolan. If you don't stop fidgeting, I'll stop you myself."

He frowns. "I can't help it."

You arch an eyebrow, "right, so you want me to hold you down for the rest of the evening? Because I will."

His face flushes and he shakes his head no, so you withdraw your hand. You feel his body relax next to you.

"You may as well try and get some sleep. I can keep watch and wake you up when it's safe to move."

He clears his throat, "that won't be necessary. I'm fine."

You scoff. He's definitely not fine, he's been wiggling around since you both sat down. You tell him as such and the blush rises back to his cheeks.

"I'm not- That's not why I'm-" He sighs "I'm fine ."

"Ah, yes. People who are fine usually writhe around like worms."

He scowls at you, but doesn't say anything. At that moment you feel a shiver rip through you, and his face softens with concern.

"Are you okay?"

You nod, wrapping your arms around yourself, "I'm fine."

He pulls a face at you and crosses his arms. "Ah, yes. People who are fine usually shake like leaves."

Okay, in fairness, you walked right into that one.

"I'm okay, honestly. I'm just a bit cold."

You hadn't really thought about it when you left the inn, hopped up on adrenaline, but now you're sat here you've begun to realise you're not dressed for the chill. You're wearing a pair of light trousers and an old sweater with holes in the sleeves; the clothes you sleep in. It was fine when you were racing around looking for Rolan and fighting shadow creatures, but now that you're sat still with your back up against rock the cold is seeping into your body.

Rolan looks you up and down a few times, then makes a noise of frustration. "Gods, I'm sorry. I should've thought to- I haven't got enough magic left to cast anything to keep you warm."

"It's fine, I'll manage. Besides, you're like a furnace."

It's true, you can feel the warmth from his body where his arm is pressed up against yours. You've been trying not to think about it, but it's getting harder to focus on anything else.

There's a moment of silence, and a look of hesitation in Rolan's eye, before he lifts the arm that's against you and instead wraps it around your shoulder. You flinch.

"What are you doing?"

He's blushed again. "Well. We- tieflings, that is- we naturally run hotter. And I got you into this predicament, so the least I can do is stop you from catching pneumonia."

You try desperately to think of an argument that stops him pulling you closer, but you come up empty. You're cold and he's warm, and he smells nice and his hair looks soft, and you are a weak, weak woman.

When you don't say anything else, he tentatively stretches his arm back around your shoulder, and places his hand there awkwardly. You pull a face at him.

"That can't be comfortable, your wrist is at an angle."

He shrugs, which makes you sigh. You grab his hand where it rests on your shoulder blade and manoeuvre yourself so that you're resting your head against his chest. You wrap his arm around you and push yourself against him. He freezes.

There's a long moment where you wonder if you've overstepped a boundary, but then he's sinking himself down against the rock so you can better lean on his chest, and pulling you tight against the side of his body. There's a moment of hesitation before you feel him rest his chin on the top of your head.

His scent and warmth wraps around you and you can feel his heartbeat against your cheek. His chin on the top of your head is a comforting weight, and being surrounded by him like this feels... intimate. You like it.

"I'm sorry, Tav."

You frown, but don't move. "For what?"

He swallows heavily. "I really was unfair to you. It's not your fault Cal and Lia were taken. You're the only reason any of us made it this far in the first place. I lashed out at you."

You give a small shrug, as much as you can without shaking his arms from around you. There's a moment, and then he's moving anyway, turning to face you and holding both of your shoulders.

"Tav, I mean it. It wasn't your fault. I'm sorry."

His eyes are piercing and you struggle to look away despite how intense his gaze is. You shrug again, hoping you don't betray how much his attention affects you. "You were right. I'm not a leader. I just wanted to do what felt right, but I've put people in danger in the process."

He shakes his head, "I wasn't right. The best leaders are the ones who didn't choose it. They're the people everyone follows because they believe in them." One of his hands comes down and grasps yours, and you feel your breath hitch. "People believe in you, Tav. I... I believe in you."

You don't know how to reply to that, so you don't. Another shiver rips its way through your body, and Rolan wraps both of his arms around you and brings your head back to his chest.

"For warmth, of course." He says it softly.

You nod. "Of course." Your voice comes out quiet and breathless, and you feel Rolan shudder minutely.

A voice in the back of your head tells you that you're walking a fragile line, that you're slowly inching your way over it. That once you cross it there's no going back. The warmth of his embrace must be clouding your judgement, though, because you find you don't care.

Rolan's twists his head slightly, and instead of his chin resting in your hair it's his cheek. You feel him rub his face softly into your tresses and it's such an intimate gesture that you feel your heart start beating in your throat. You press your skull up against him tentatively and you hear his breath catch in his chest against your ear.

You adjust your position so that his cheek is pressed against your temple instead. You can feel his breath grazing the tip of your ear, can hear the moment the pace of it staccatos.

It's like a slow dance, the way you both slowly inch towards each other. Your cheek is pressed against his now, and you tilt your head slightly to the side and glance your lips along his cheekbone. You feel his eyes flutter shut as his eyelashes brush against your temple, and you hear his slow exhale.

He turns his head, and you're both face to face. There are only centimetres between you, and his breath passes across your lips.

When he closes the final distance, pressing his lips against yours in nervous, chaste kiss, it feels like the inevitable conclusion that you've been dancing around since you met him. You feel yourself trip and fall over that proverbial line, and as you land squarely on the other side a wall comes up behind you in your mind's eye, preventing you from ever returning to where you were before.

It's only several seconds, but it feels far longer before he pulls away.

He's far enough from you that he can look at you properly, and his eyes scan your face wildly. He's shaking slightly, as if he's terrified of your reaction; as if he hasn't faced cultists and shadow-creatures and come away unscathed.

As you stare at each other, you consider the consequences and implications of this. The complicated predicament you'll be putting yourself in if you entangle your life with his in this way, the unknown and the uncertainties of your life, of your future and potential lack-there-of. You think about his apprenticeship, and the diverging paths you're undoubtedly destined to take. It would almost certainly be a mistake to let yourself slip into whatever this is becoming.

You kiss him anyway.

You feel all of the tension leave his body. He makes a small noise of contentment and you use the slight part of his lips to part your own and deepen the kiss. He makes a very different kind of noise at that, and it runs through your whole body.

You can't resist sliding your tongue into his mouth, and he makes another noise that has your gut wrenching as his arms tighten around you. It turns heated and frantic as you breathe into each other, and when you trail a hand over his cheek and down his neck he shudders and moans.

When you eventually have to pull away for air he chases you, and you can't help but chuckle at him. You see the flush spread over his cheeks and he opens his eyes, clearly embarrassed, but too far gone to say anything about it. His lips are shiny from your spit and his eyes are hooded, and you can't help but lean back in to taste him again. It earns you another low moan from the back of his throat.

He raises a hand to curl into your hair, grabs a handful as he threads his fingers through it, and the noise you make is frankly embarrassing, but it only serves to encourage him. In the next moment, he's dragging you into his lap with your legs straddling his hips, and positioned like this you can kiss him deeper. His other hand grips your hip firmly and you mewl into his mouth, and in response he moans and grinds you down into his clothed length. You run your hands up and down his chest, and one hand wraps around the back of his neck to hold him to you. He keens at the touch.

A loud cracking sound splits through the air.

You both jump away from each other, eyes frantically searching the other to see who hurt what, only to realise the noise is coming from somewhere nearby. Breaking branches. Footsteps.

You leap out of Rolan's lap and crouch next to him, peeking round the edge of the rock wall. You can't see anything, but the noise is getting closer. When you turn to Rolan, his features are hard, and he nods at you decisively as he moves to crouch with you. He comes up beside you, glances out in the direction with the noise. He brings a hand up to clutch your chin, directs it slightly more to the right, and points between a set of trees in the distance.

Whatever he sees, you can't. It's far too dark, and the fog is still a little too thick for you to see through. When you shoot him a confused look, he mouths to you in response.

"Harper."

You frown at that, and quirk an eyebrow questioningly, hoping he can deduce your question: 'Shadow-curse victim?"

He seems to catch your meaning, and he turns back to the tree line, squinting and leaning forward slightly. The movement results in him baring the column of his neck to you, and despite the fact you try, you fail spectacularly at wrenching your eyes away. His skin is smooth and unblemished, in contrast to your own body which you know is covered in a variety of scars and marks. You're overwhelmed by the urge to lean forward and suck a bruise onto his pulse point, which you just barely manage to resist. Not the time .

He turns back to look at you and you flick your eyes up to his in what is unfortunately a very conspicuous manoeuvre. He raises an eyebrow, but doesn't say anything. Instead, he juts his chin towards the harper in the treeline and whispers; "I think they're friendly."

You nod at that, turning away to look in the direction of the harper, who you still can't see. You can feel Rolan's eyes on you, and with a bolt of arousal shooting through your body you wonder if he's looking at you the way you looked at him moments ago.

You clear your throat. "Hello? Is someone there?"

Rolan leans in and whispers into your ear, and you feel goosebumps raise over your skin. "They've turned this way, they're making their way over."

"Tav?" The mystery voice calls out from the shadows. "Is that you? Karlach sent me."

You breathe a sigh of relief at the confirmation of the stranger's allegiance, and with a pat on Rolan's shoulder you stand and begin walking to the voice. You try to ignore the fact that Rolan practically clings to your side, and the small blossom of hope that brews in your chest.

"That's me." You can see the harper now, a light skinned dwarf with slicked back brown-auburn hair who you recognise as one of the men that guards the gate of the inn. "She'll have sent you out on a rescue mission, then."

He laughs. "She did indeed. Said the fact the both of you-" he nods towards Rolan "-were gone wasn't a coincidence. Her words were something to the effect of 'if that smarmy idiot has gone off to get himself killed, she's probably followed him.'"

You flush, but don't say anything. There's no real defence you can muster, considering the fact she's pretty much spot on.

Rolan jumps in for you. "Well, I'm thankful for the intervention. I owe Tav my life. We were waiting out the fog, I don't suppose you can guide us back to the inn?"

The harper nods, "certainly can. It's not all that far, but keep your wits about you. The critters out here are feral."

~~~

The first thing Karlach does when the pair of you find her at Last Light is flick you between the eyes.

"You bloody moron! How did I know you'd be off canoodling with this prick, hm?"

You can feel yourself going red, but you puff your chest out defiantly anyway, "I went to help him!"

The gleam in her eyes and smirk on her lips tells you she's been spending far too much time with Astarion, "I'm sure you did! Bet he was real grateful for your 'help', weren't you wizard?"

Rolan scowls, but his cheeks look darker than usual. Instead of saying anything, he storms off.

Karlach laughs, but you feel your stomach sink. He doesn't even look backwards at you. Clearly he's come to his senses, now that he's out of mortal danger, and remembered that he hates your guts.

You sigh, and shake all thoughts of Rolan from your mind. "Go on then, K, tell me what you found."

#bg3 #baldur's gate 3 #bg3 fanfiction #bg3 fic #bg3 fanfic #bg3 smut #bg3 fluff #bg3 rolan #holy rolan empire #rolan bg3 #rolan #tav x rolan #rolan x tav

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notiddygothgf · 2 months ago

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10. Early Breakfast

★ pairings: aki hayakawa x fem reader

★ ❝ I didn't know Hayakawa Captain had a girlfriend. ❞

★ c.w.: smut. more (poorly timed) confessions. denji is his own warning. (more content warnings and tags)

★ a/n: Hi again pookie dooks ;)). Okay so. I have been waiting SO LONG to post this chapter. We're nearing the end of the ones I had pre-written, and as a result updates may come a little slower, but I'll try to keep up! (Just be patient w me, ur girl is #struggling rn w uni). You're gonna love this chapter (until you dont). not saying nothing though. ENJOY LOVELIES! muah! please leave many many comments (spam me idgaf) i need smth to look forward to reading and i ALWAYS go thru yall's comments w the dorkiest smile. ily. (no beta, we die like... yeah.)

★ w.c: .7.5k

shameless ; chapter index

AKI'S BED WAS WARM. Warm enough that you seemed to be able to forget where you were — or, rather, where you should have been. You had entire hotel suite waiting for you, yet it seemed as if you had wasted the first five days of your stay in Tokyo entangled with him. Two days had passed between your bathroom debacle and now, and you were back again right where it all had started.

You weren't entirely sure you minded it.

Aki wrapped his long, calloused fingers around your wrist, holding your bloody finger away from his face. You had cut your thumb open on the page of a magazine while the two of you were relaxing on his mattress — distantly, a song from a band you didn't know played on his CD player (The tonedeafs, or something like that).

"I want you to," You laughed, reaching your hand towards his face again. "I dared you to. I'm not a germaphobe, I don't care."

Aki furrowed his brows, holding your wrist away from his face once more, "You should care. It could get infected, or worse."

Always so serious.

You pouted, "Says who?"

"Me, everyone," Aki trailed off — playfully, of course, like he was lost in thought, "Any medical professional."

You laughed, flopping back onto the bed where you had been moments earlier before this had started, laying perpendicular to him with your back strewn over his stomach. Makima had given him the day off and you, not knowing what else could have been a better way to help him learn how to relax a little, decided to call out of work as well.

"Pussy," You teased him, "What kind of Devil Hunter gets squeamish around blood?"

"I'm not squeamish, I'm just taking your health into consideration," He remarked (again, with a playful lilt to his words, despite his serious tone). "And, besides — what if someone overheard this? You calling your superior a pussy, hm? Then what?"

You replied with a witty retort of your own, "And what if they knew their Captain was fucking his subordinates?"

"I think I could get away with one," He teased back. "Not subordinates, plural. Just a subordinate. A married one, at that."

"So there are other subordinates?" You asked him — it was meant to be teasing, but you would be lying if a depraved part of you didn't wonder if you were the only one he was seeing. You wouldn't have a right to be upset if you weren't, granted that you were still very much married to another man.

"No. But that doesn't make you any less of a cougar," He hummed. "Devil Hunters do worse shit than sleeping with their coworkers, I hate to tell you."

"I'm only five years older than you," You huffed. Rolling over to look at him, you added, "We're damned anyway, then. That's what you're saying?"

"Not damned," He replied. Finally setting the book he'd been reading down on the bed beside him, he said, "Blessed. At least, I am."

"You're blessed?" You asked. "I'm a trainwreck, Aki."

"You're my trainwreck, though, aren't you?" He reached down, ruffling your hair with his hand. "I'm blessed because you're the first person to come into my life and give me a reason to keep myself alive."

"I thought you said you wanted to kill the Gun Devil?" You teased.

"I do," He said. "I didn't care if I lived or died before. Now that I have you waiting around for me to come back, I wanna keep coming home."

The slightest frown tugged at the corners of your lips, "That's so sad. You don't have any family?"

"No," He caressed your cheek with the back of his thumb, "The Gun Devil killed them. That's why I said I didn't care if I lived or died. As long as I did it for them, I thought I'd be able to die happy."

"You still feel that way?" You asked.

"Not really. I think I'm starting to have a change of heart," He sighed — chest rising and falling as he did so, "I'm growing fond of my roommates. Between those two shitheads and you, I dunno," A pause, and then he continued, "I'm not so sure I'd be able to die happy knowing I left all of that behind."

It was a touching sentiment. You probably should have left it at that, but a part of you couldn't help but dwell on it. You were — at least a part of — his reason to live. You were what kept him alive, what kept him motivated.

That didn't sound like he "might have feelings" for you.

It sounded like he loved you.

And, to make matters worse, you were beginning to realize that you returned his affections. The craving him, the missing him — the worrying about his wellbeing, the need to constantly be around him... All signs pointed towards one direction:

You loved him, too.

And, before you could stop yourself, before you could tell yourself it was too soon, you found yourself uttering the phrase, "Do you love me, Aki?"

He paused. A moment passed, and he took a deep breath. Then, he peered down at you, "Yeah. I do. I think I'm starting to love those two Devils, too — or at least care for them, but..." He licked his lips. "Not in the way that I love you."

Your heart nearly stopped beating entirely — skipping a beat, and then another while a horde of angry butterflies filled your chest.

Not in the way that I love you.

The way that I love you.

I love you.

He loves me. You couldn't remember the last time you heard those words.

You hadn't taken notice of the silence — or how long it was, for that matter — until Aki spoke again, the depth of his voice vibrating beneath your body, setting your nerves alight.

"You don't... have to say it back," He added, a little more sheepishly. He was so patient with you, so forgiving — it was all so much more than you deserved. "But, yeah, I love you."

You finally spoke up — voice a little weaker than you had intended it to sound. "I.. love you, too. I know I do."

It felt right to confess. You couldn't keep lying to him — to him or yourself.

"Do you want to stop seeing me?" He asked. He sounded like he did not want you to say yes (or maybe you were projecting). "I know it's too soon. I don't want to ruin your life."

You scoffed, "Ruin my life? I'm like a starving beggar who's been given food. You're the best thing that's happened to my life in god-knows-how-long."

He blinked at you. "I don't..."

"It makes no difference," You added on, "I love you and you love me. So, what? Are we supposed to break each other's hearts? Over a man I haven't loved in years? A man with whom I've only stayed for the sake of convenience?"

Aki sighed quietly, calling your name, but you didn't listen.

"I'm tired of running away from the truth, Aki. You were the one who showed me that," You continued. "I love you, and I think I'd be completely miserable if I lived without you."

"But you'd be at peace. You'd have a house and a life in Kyoto, still," He remarked.

"You've consumed every inch of my peace. How can I give you your peace?" You quoted him. "Is that not what you told me? You don't want to stop seeing me, do you?"

"No, I don't," He said. "I'd be depressed beyond reprieve, but I'd do it if it meant you could be happy."

Finally, you rolled over, folding your arms over his chest, laying your head down over his heart — peering up at him through a fond gaze, "I'm happy with you, Aki. I don't want anything else."

There was an issue — of course. The issue being the dissolution of your marriage with your husband. But, still, the two of you danced around the truth.

"You shouldn't say things like that to me," He added quietly, "I'll hide you away in here forever."

You laughed softly, quietly, like you couldn't help but yearn for exactly that. "And, what? I should leave everything behind to stay here with you?"

To your surprise, however, he did not seem to be joking – not in the least. "Yeah," He deadpanned, "Would that be so bad?"

You sighed deeply, your fingers absently toying with the soft, rumpled covers of Aki's bed. The room had been bathed in a warm, golden light from the bedside lamp. The weight of contemplating a divorce hung heavily on you—images of an uncertain future and financial instability looming large in your mind.

"I'd have nothing if we divorced. I think that's the main reason I haven't done it by now. We never signed a prenup, so..." Your voice trailed off, the enormity of it all pressing down on you. "I'd be in shambles."

Aki shifted next to you, his gaze softening as he absorbed your words. He reached out, his fingers lightly brushing against your arm in a gesture meant to soothe. "But you could start over. We could start over. You're miserable with him. You know that, right?"

"You're too young to understand," You sighed.

"All that for a five year age gap is kind of crazy," He retorted. "Help me understand, then – why won't you put yourself first, for once?"

You looked away, your eyes reflecting the anxiety you felt. "I would lose the house, Aki... and everything I've worked for... it's not just about me."

"The apartment down the hall is up for lease, I've heard. It's not exactly the same as your house, but it could be a start," Aki tilted his head slightly, trying to offer a comforting smile. "We could make it work."

You considered his words – the idea of a new beginning didn't sound all too bad. Slowly, a tentative smile started to spread across your face. You met Aki's gaze, and he returned your smile with one that was gentle and understanding – like he always was.

Finally, you shifted your position, rolling over to straddle Aki's waist, sitting in his lap. You reached down, gently plucking the magazine from his hands, and intertwined your fingers with his.

"You love me," You said giddily, grinning ear to ear like a lovestruck fool.

God, now that you heard him say it, you wanted to hear it again.

Just to make sure that it was real.

And he looked up at you through tired, pretty blue eyes, like you had hung the stars in the sky yourself. Like you were everything to him. "Yes."

"Only me," You continued.

To which he answered breathlessly, "Yes."

"And you're happy with me?" You went on, "You're not just saying that to get my hopes up?"

"Yes," He answered. "Happier than I've ever been."

You knew it was dangerous to indulge yourself so shamelessly in his affections. He loved you and you loved him – there was only one thing holding you back from being his and his entirely...Your marriage of convenience.

"And you," He asked. "Do you love me? Only me?"

"Of course," You answered. It should have been more difficult of an admission than it was. In reality, you hadn't loved anyone in years. "I haven't been able to fuck anyone else since you came around. That's how much I love you."

"You're not special," He tutted. "I can't even get off unless I'm thinking about you and that pretty face of yours. You know that?"

"I get that. I know you love me," You smiled. "But how much?"

Aki's hands slid up your legs, gripping your thighs. Slowly, he aided you in rocking back, then forth – until you took notice of the sudden hardness pressing into your core from below. He quirked a brow, "This much."

You widened your eyes, dragging your tongue over the front of your teeth. If that's the case, then that's a lot. You played into it, of course. You pulled the hem of his oversized sweater up and over your hips so that you could rut against him. The lace of your panties created a friction so delicious that your next words came out as a shudder, "This much?"

His lashes fluttered, pretty eyes threatening to shut – but he kept them open, like he wanted to commit every second of this moment to memory. "Yes."

You rubbed yourself along the length of the bulge in his sweatpants slowly, tantalizingly – "This much?"

He released the prettiest little trembling sigh, "Yes..."

"This much?" You leaned down a little further. Your hands braced themselves on his chest, sliding down to his abs, then back up again – all while you lowered yourself a little closer to his face, rutted against him a little harder, just the way he liked it.

"Yes," He whimpered faintly, weakly. When you brought your face a little lower, a little closer to his, you could see the faint hue of pink that painted his cheeks.

Unable to wait a moment longer, you touched your noses together, lips only inches apart.

"This much?" You breathed. Going a little faster now – all but riding the tent in his sweats – you felt your legs begin to tremble. "And this much? And this much?"

"Ah..." He panted, "Yes, yes, yes."

His eyes struggled to meet yours – you liked the sense of control it gave you. It made your mind run wild with desire, knowing he trusted you enough to let you have him like this. To let you take the reins. Just before your lips touched, you brought your bloody thumb up to his mouth.

Then, carefully, you painted the faintest trace of red on his lower lip. He froze – holding his breath, anticipating your next move.

You traced your tongue carefully over his lower lip, kissing his lips clean – licking up what was left. It was depraved and dirty and downright distasteful... but, fuck...

It was so hot.

Clearly, Aki shared your sentiment, because before you could pull away he was gripping the back of your neck and bringing you closer to him, slipping his tongue into your mouth while it was still open – stealing a dirty kiss from you. His lips were insistent against yours, desperate, even – tasting like mint with the faintest hint of blood.

With a blissful groan, he departed from your lips, kissing his way down your neck while he rocked your hips back and forth. The friction was just enough to have you moaning in tandem, falling into him.

His tongue was hot against your skin, pulling it into his mouth to suck gently on it – gentle enough that he wouldn't leave marks, hard enough that you were gripping his biceps for support.

You craned your head up toward the ceiling to give him more room to continue his onslaught down the valley of your neck, down your clavicle.

You brought your hands down to the waistband of Aki's sweatpants, where he was practically straining against the fabric. "Need you, Aki, please."

He let you wrangle his pants down just far enough to free him (no, he hadn't bothered to put on a pair of boxers after his shower) – just far enough to let his aching erection spring out. His fingers looped beneath the fabric of your panties with practiced ease, and he pushed them to the side.

"Right now?" He asked. "Like this?"

"Yeah."

"Fuck. Need you, too, baby."

You wasted absolutely no time in lining his tip up with your entrance and sinking down on him. With little to no prep involved prior, it was a bit of a stretch – you could feel his length splitting you open, but, shit...

It felt so fucking good to have him inside of you. You fell forward onto him, letting him set the pace.

He let out the sexiest little gasp, squeezing his eyes shut.

"You won't get tired of me?" You asked, rising up and then sinking back down after a moment of adjustment. Up once more, then down once more, and you could feel the pain subsiding. "Of... of this?"

"Never," He gritted out, gripping your hips a little harder. He bounced you up and down a little faster, a little harder – and that little change in speed was all it took to have the both of you gasping. He moaned, "So perfect. Fuckin' love it."

You giggled, "So this is love?"

Trailing off, you gasped, a smile forming on your tender lips. It wasn't the years you had spent with your husband, arguing over money and food and everything else. It wasn't distasteful comments about your body, or a harsh sting on your cheek followed by a half-assed apology. It wasn't a broken promise of "I do," or a life in Kyoto. It was this.

Aki's response came in the form of a muffled whine of, "Yes," against your sensitive neck.

"This..." You grinned.

This was love.

You could get used to it.

You rustled from your sleep late in the evening. Nose twitching, you nuzzled your face into the warm surface your head was laid upon – warm, bare skin beneath you. Aki's chest was a milky white valley – between the pectorals of which you pressed a lazy kiss. He stirred, only slightly, and didn't wake.

A grumble of your stomach prompted you to sigh before slipping out of his grasp, out of the fortress his strong arms made around your head. His biceps were so plump that you almost wished you could sink your teeth into them, mark him as yours.

But, alas, duty calls.

You slid out of the bed slowly, being careful not to wake your lover in the process. His sweater slipped down your waist, pooled around your thighs, and your bare feet touched the floor of his bedroom as you padded towards the door.

You cast one last glance to the bed before you left. Aki was sound asleep, face turned to the side, inky black hair tousled and spread over the pillow. His pink lips were open just enough for quiet snores to escape. As if he sensed your absence, he grumbled something incoherent in his sleep, and rolled over onto his side. He wrapped an arm around the pillow – where you had been lying only a moment earlier – and snuggled into it.

God, he was so fucking cute – he was going to be the death of you.

A smile teased the corners of your lips. With no great deal of satisfaction, you cracked the door open – checking your surroundings before slipping into the living room. You tip-toed over the wooden floorboards (as if that would make a difference) and into the kitchen, pawing at the fridge until it opened.

You squinted into the refrigerator light, trying to scan its contents for a good snack. Let's see... Lettuce, Leftovers, Vegetables...

Berries! You grinned, reaching for the little package of strawberries. It looked like it was pretty new – surely he wouldn't notice a few missing... right?

If he did, he certainly didn't seem like he would care.

So you shut the fridge just as quietly as you had opened it. You nearly lept right out of your skin when you noticed something standing behind the door – someone.

It was the ginger boy from the party – Denji – and he was looking at you like he was just as confused as you were, standing only a little taller than you in Cookie Monster pajama pants and an old-looking undershirt.

What time is it? His roommates were supposed to be at training today!

He raked his eyes over your appearance, following the path of your bare legs up to your sweater, then up to your face again. Finally, he commented, "I didn't know Hayakawa Captain had a girlfriend."

You were fucking mortified. So much for being on the down low, right?

Swallowing, you replied, "I'm not–"

"Wait a sec, aren't you that girl from the party?" He squinted at you.

Shit. Shit. Double Shit.

"Uh..." You laughed awkwardly, toying with the hem of Aki's sweater. You knew you probably made for a remarkable sight – messy hair, bare feet, wearing nothing but his Captain (and roommate's) sweater. "What party?"

Public Safety loved to party. He wouldn't remember you from one night alone, would he?

"The one where Himeno got shitfaced? Wait, I don't think that narrows it down by much..." He pursed his lips, tapping his chin in thought while he scrutinized you, "It had to have been, like, a month ago, now. She started crying and then she got real wasted and puked on my shoes... She said she was real pissed at Hayakawa and his little girlfriend. That's you, right?"

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. You didn't know what was more mortifying – the idea that he knew you were sleeping with his captain, or the idea that Himeno was telling him about you.

If your flustered appearance didn't give it away (or the way you froze like a deer in headlights when he said that), your words definitely did. "I have no clue what you're talking about."

That sounds like something someone would say if they most definitely did know what someone was talking about, you thought.

What the hell was he doing out here this late, anyway? It wasn't fair.

"Youuu... sure...?" He asked, squinting at you a little harder. You were one question away from breaking a sweat, "'Cause he's been acting real fishy lately, and I heard noises coming from his room when I came back a few hours ago."

You were going to murder him and yourself a moment later. He said they wouldn't come home.

"I thought you were supposed to be at training?" You whisper-shouted back at him. "What noises could you possibly have heard?"

"We wrapped up early," He remarked, like that should have been obvious. "And, I dunno, but it sounded like someone was being murdered in there. Himeno said he had a "little girlfriend", and I don't see him around many women, so..." Snapping his fingers, he pointed them at you, "You're her. You're his secret girlfriend, right? I've been working on my detective skills, you know. I can tell these things about people."

You could do nothing but gape at him, utterly gobsmacked at two different things – Firstly, that this interaction was even happening, and, secondly, that he had managed to sniff you out so easily.

"Unless you're not," He trailed off – seemingly lost in thought, again, as he gazed up at the ceiling, scratching his chin, "You know, I heard him in the bathroom with someone the other day. Is that something you're aware of? I don't want to assume, but I figured you should know. He could be cheating on you."

Again, you couldn't form a suitable answer, mouth open. Still – because you were hungry – you plucked a strawberry from the container, inching your hand slowly towards your mouth.

"What are you doing?" A voice cut into the tense silence between you and the orange-haired boy – who, from your understanding, was no older than 16. The two of you jumped apart.

Aki stood in the hallway, eyeing you and Denji up wearily. He looked like he had just rolled out of bed – literally – with his hair still a little disheveled over his neck and in his face, donning nothing but a pair of sweatpants to match the shirt you were wearing.

We're cooked, you thought.

Then, immediately letting your gaze wander over his chiseled physique, you thought, He looks so fucking good without a shirt on.

The sound of his voice shook you from your horny reverie. He had called your name, or something like that, considering that he was looking right at you.

You tilted your head, popping the strawberry into your mouth, "Hmm?"

Aki's lips were pressed into that serious pout he always seemed to wear around his coworkers – something so different from how he normally was around you, something that you had to get used to, "I asked if he was bothering you."

"Oh." You swallowed the mouthful of strawberry you were chewing. Glancing between him and his ginger detective roommate, you muttered, "No.. No, he's just– He was just getting a snack."

His expression softened immediately. Still, he leaned against the kitchen counter, saying, "Come back to bed."

Well, shit, there goes my alibi, You gnawed on the inside of your cheek. He made it sound so tempting.

So, opening the refrigerator door and tucking the container of strawberries away on the shelf, you squeezed past Denji, murmuring a quick, "Good night."

Then you followed Aki back to his room, leaving the poor boy speechless in the kitchen.

The next morning, Aki was already up when you stirred, the soft sound of bowls clinking and the rhythmic whisking of something filling the quiet morning ambience. The smell of something sweet drifte d in from the kitchen, pulling you out of bed.

Snagging your purse off of the floor, you slipped into the bathroom, your feet padding softly against the cold floor. Without thinking, you reached for Aki's blue toothbrush again—the one you'd claimed yesterday, and the time before that. There was something oddly comforting about using his things.

There was also something sort of ironic about the way you hesitated before using it — like you hadn't swallowed a load of his kids before, like this was overstepping.

As you brushed your teeth, your thoughts floated back to last night—the weight of his arms around you, the way his hands had roamed your body like they belonged there. Your confession had been a surprise. His confession had been hushed whispers of, "I love you. So perfect. All for me," against your skin, a sinful croon of your name while he fell apart beneath your touch.

You winced slightly at the ache in your lower back, a reminder of how tangled the two of you had been in the sheets. That ache was a small price to pay.

Spitting into the sink, you wiped your face and took a handful of water into your mouth. Then, reaching into your purse, you produced your little Birth Control tin, popping one of the tiny white pills into your mouth.

You wandered back out into the living room a minute or two later, drawn by the smell of what you assumed was breakfast. Aki was standing at the kitchen counter, his back to you, shoulders relaxed beneath one of his signature sweaters— one that, despite how soft and oversized it looked, did nothing to hide his lean form, the muscled slopes of his shoulders. You watched him for a moment, admiring the way he moved so easily in his space, the domesticity of it all.

You walked up behind him without a word, slipping your arms around his waist, resting your cheek against the hard plane of his back. Your hands trailed lazily over his abdomen, feeling the firm lines of his muscles through the fabric of his sweater. You couldn't help but smile to yourself; he was so deceptively toned beneath all those layers, the kind of strength that made you second-guess not divorcing your husband sooner.

"Hey, troublemaker," he said softly, his voice warm and teasing, like he knew you were up to something just by the way you touched him. He didn't even flinch at your sudden embrace, just leaned into you as if he had been expecting you.

You buried your nose between his shoulder blades, breathing him in. That familiar scent of his cologne mixed with the smell of pancake batter—it was such a simple combination, but it made your heart ache in the best way. His hair was tied up in that silly little topknot again, and on anyone else it would have looked completely ridiculous. He smelled like everything good and familiar, like something you didn't even realize you needed.

He set the bowl of pancake batter down and turned slightly, his hand finding your chin, gently tilting your face up to meet his. His lips captured yours in a kiss that was slow, deliberate, like he had all the time in the world to show you exactly how much he wanted you. The kiss was languid, sensual, made your knees a little weak and left you dizzy in the best way. You could taste the sweetness of his affection, the way he held you like you were something precious.

In that moment, it hit you—you really were in love.

You didn't need to second-guess it. This wasn't like anything you had before. The ease, the quiet bliss of being here with him, in this little bubble you'd both created—it was something you had never known with your husband.

That marriage had been full of noise and expectations, but this... this was peace.

This was love.

And standing there, with Aki's arms around you and the smell of pancakes in the air, you knew you didn't want to let this feeling go.

"Hi. You sleep okay?" you asked, slipping your hands under the hem of his sweater, your fingers pressing against the warmth of his muscular back. You felt the subtle shift of his body under your touch, the way his breath caught for just a second.

"Better than okay," he replied, his voice still rough from sleep. "I don't even remember dreaming."

You leaned in closer, your lips brushing his ear as you whispered, "Aww... did I put you to sleep?" The words came out soft, playful, with a teasing edge that hung in the air.

He chuckled, a deep, velvety sound that sent a ripple through your body. "That's rich coming from the one who came so hard she passed out last night."

Your cheeks flushed instantly, the memory making heat rise in your face as you buried it against his chest, the familiar scent of him filling your senses. His sweater smelled like him—warm, clean, and just a little bit of that cologne you couldn't get enough of.

After a moment, you tilted your head, peeking up at him through your lashes. Your hands moved beneath his sweater again, this time slowly exploring the firm ridges of his abs. He was a Greek god, he really was.

You could feel him tense, the muscles under your touch shifting with every slight movement of your fingers as they trailed down his abdomen, brushing lightly with your knuckles. You hummed, the sound vibrating softly in your throat. "Hmm... should I make it up to you?"

Aki's eyes dropped to yours, and you saw the change immediately—his face grew warm, the faintest hint of pink rising on his cheeks as his pupils widened. "Make what up to me?" he asked, his voice lower now, like he wasn't sure if he wanted the answer or if he was bracing for it.

Your fingers dipped beneath the waistband of his boxers, the fabric snapping back against his skin with a soft, sharp sound. He let out a quiet grunt in response, and the sound sent a surge of satisfaction through you.

"You're a little minx today, aren't you?" he teased, though his voice was laced with something deeper, his smirk betraying just how affected he was.

You just smiled up at him, your fingers lingering at the waistband, daring him to see where the moment would take you next.

"What can I say? I'm an early riser," you teased, your finger trailing downward over his sweatpants, over the tent that was beginning to form where your fingers ghosted over them. The way his breath hitched, followed by a flustered laugh, made you grin.

You tugged at the strings of his sweatpants, mischief dancing in your eyes. "And I think someone else is too."

Aki's gaze darted between the stove, where the pancakes were almost ready to be poured, and the closed bedroom doors, behind which his roommates were still fast asleep. His brow furrowed as if he were contemplating something serious, but the playful glint in his eyes hadn't left.

"You're insatiable," he said, though his voice held just the faintest tremor of doubt. "Not like this. Not in the kitchen."

"You're thinking about it?" you asked, raising an eyebrow. "Why? Craving something sweet?"

"Always, pretty girl," he murmured, his tone soft but filled with heat. "But don't tempt me."

"Why not?" you challenged, leaning in just a little closer. "Who was it that said to give in to temptation and not run from the truth? Why stop now?"

Aki's smirk deepened as he slid one hand around your waist, his fingers grazing the small of your back. "Because my temptations involve me hiking that little sweater up and fucking you right there on the table until the neighbors call the cops," he whispered, his lips barely brushing your ear, sending a shiver down your spine. "Behave."

Yes, sir.

Just before you could retort, you heard the soft creak of a door opening. In an instant, both of you pulled away from each other, the space between you filled with unspoken tension. Eventually, a familiar head of ginger hair popped into the kitchen, tired eyes barely open, pants hanging low on his hips.

"Morning," Denji yawned.

Aki's words left you breathless, still. You cast him an uncertain glance. He smirked – barely there, of course, but just enough to tell you that your conversation wasn't over. Then, he turned back to the stove.

Denji reached for the fridge, grabbing a bottle of Orange Juice.

"You making pancakes over there?" The younger of the two boys asked, pulling a seat out from beneath the kitchen table and plopping down – clearly unwilling to bring up the whole issue of whatever the fuck happened last night.

This entire situation is unreal.

"Yeah," Aki answered. Clearly, he didn't want to talk about it either. Instead, he poured some batter onto the pan.

Awkwardly, you inched towards the seat at the table across from him. You sat down and folded your hands on the table. He eyed you up curiously, like wasn't sure if last night had been a dream. You avoided his gaze, looking down at your lap.

Suddenly, you felt conscious of your appearance — was your hair disheveled? Had he left marks on your neck? Did Denji have some sort of superpower that allowed him to see through your sweater and see the bruises Aki's strong hands had left on your hips the night before?

A few silent minutes passed, during which neither of you three brought up the elephant in the room. A moment longer, and you were joined by Aki's other nightmare roommate — a short girl with pink hair, sharp teeth, and red little horns protruding from the top of her head.

She entered the kitchen with a proud shriek of, "Well risings, mortals! I smell sustenance."

When she noticed you, a look of confusion replaced her grin. She sat down at the table next to Denji and asked him, "Who is this human?"

And, just like that, the line is crossed.

Denji shrugged as Aki set a plate of pancakes down in front of him. He quirked a snarky little brow, glaring up at him, "Dunnno. Why don't you ask him?"

Power's lips were pressed into a confused little pout. She looked up at Aki as he walked behind her, but the moment she saw he was coming towards her with a plate, she kept her mouth shut. Four pancakes were heaped onto each of their dishes. The moment it hit the table, she reached for the fork and the knife and dug in.

Finally, Aki came around the table, offering you a plate of pancakes and an apologetic expression before taking a seat next to you. There were two pancakes on his plate, garnished with butter and honey.

You looked at him with wide eyes that flicked between him and his roommate, blinking extra hard, as if to say, Help me.

He sighed your name in response, "Meet Denji and Power, the two shitheads I live with."

Great. That wasn't helpful at all.

"Why are you not bowing?" The Power girl slammed her fist down against the table. "You are in the presence of greatness."

Denji didn't seem to care much to acknowledge her, ripping a piece off of his pancake and stuffing it into his mouth before saying, "You're bangin' the captain, right?"

Your mouth hung open. Aki tensed, furrowing his brows angrily, "Denji."

"What? You told me you weren't seeing anyone when I asked you, but I saw her come out of your room," Denji snapped back. He ripped another chunk out of his pancake, and stuffed his mouth again.

"We were having a... sleepover...?" You answered hesitantly, trying to make the situation better (and making it worse).

Denji pointed an accusatory finger at you, "Girls and boys don't have sleepovers."

Power shoved his arm, "Nonsense. Plenty of people do it."

Denji's head snapped towards her. He barked, "Yeah, plenty of people who are banging each other!"

You dropped your head into your hands, groaning into the table.

Aki handled the situation calmly, as he normally did, "She's my girlfriend."

And, just like that, your head was popping back up. Your wide eyes were on him immediately, heart pounding against your ribs like it was about to break loose. Girlfriend?

Then, a warmth spread over the back of your neck and your face, and you realized you weren't entirely opposed to being his girlfriend. Unless he was just putting up an act. In which case, you definitely weren't getting your hopes up — on paper, you were still married, anyway, right?

Right?

Denji and Power looked just as shocked as you did.

"You lying piece of shit!" Denji hissed. He turned to Power and added, "See? I told you! I knew it! He's been too lenient lately. Pay up."

Power crossed her arms. Mouth still full, she replied, "I refuse."

Denji leapt up from his seat, pointing at her now, "No way. You owe me a feel!"

Oh my god.

"There's a new pack of gum in the car," Aki sighed — visibly distressed by his roommates' behavior but noticeably unsurprised. Clearly this was no infrequent occurrence in his household.

The two of them perked up at that.

Aki continued, voice stern and notably father-like, "I'll give the both of you two pieces each if you keep your mouths shut."

Slowly, Denji lowered himself back into his seat. Power's angry face dropped, replaced by a wide-eyed frown, like that of a begging dog.

"Yes, sir," Denji answered obediently.

Power added, "At your service, My Liege."

"This doesn't leave the table. Got it?" Aki told the two of them. Carefully, he cut his pancakes into nine squares. He popped one onto a fork.

The two roommates nodded quickly.

Aki sighed, "Good. If you have any questions to ask her, do it politely."

Power was the first to ask, "Do you work with him?"

Finally having a chance to speak, you smiled softly, sheepishly, "Yeah. I'm new to Tokyo, though."

"Great. There will be plenty of time, then," She grinned, "I wish the two of you nothing but success in your mission to procreate!"

You choked on the mouthful of pancakes you were trying to swallow down. Before you could even comment on that wildly invasive statement, Denji answered with a question of his own.

"He said be respectful, dumbass," He tutted. He polished off the rest of his pancakes in (seemingly) a few ridiculously huge bites before he asked. "Is it true that women's boobs are measured with letter-sizes?" A pause, then he added, "How big are yours?"

"You little brat," Aki grumbled as he slammed his fork down on the table, "I'm gonna kick your ass."

An hour after breakfast had wrapped up, and Aki had left you to do the dishes, you left for the balcony — but not before reaching into the pocket of the suit jacket he had left neatly folded on the couch and stealing one of his beloved cigarettes and his lucky lighter.

You didn't know what had gotten into you lately. Yet, as you stepped outside and closed the sliding door behind you, you couldn't help the relieved sigh that left your lips the moment the cig was lit and in your mouth.

The cherry crackled as you pulled a long, drawn out hit from it — thinking briefly back to a point in time some six or seven years ago when you were still a young Public Safety officer with a cigarette dangling from her lips, and then to the night before, when Aki had blown the smoke into your mouth. You sighed, releasing the smoke with the slightest cough.

Of course, the peaceful moment was shattered the moment you felt your phone buzzing in the pocket of the basketball shorts Aki had lent you earlier, saying something about how Denji was "Shamelessly ogling your legs". They were long enough to touch the back of your calves. Of course, you imagined they fit him differently.

You plucked the little device out, flipping it open. The screen was illuminated by a call — with two concerns being raised. Firstly, your phone was only on 12%. Secondly, the person calling you was your husband.

Your heart dropped. In a moment, it was as if the tranquil morning had been shattered, leaving you with that feeling of dread you knew all too well. You hadn't spoken to him since the night before you had left for Tokyo.

You flipped the phone open, accepting the call. "Hey."

"Hey. How have you been?"

Fine, before he called. You didn't say that, though, instead pulling another puff of your cigarette. "I've been good."

There was a rather lengthy pause, after which your husband cleared his throat, "Look. I wanted to call you because I felt real bad about what happened before you left."

You couldn't possibly doubt him more. Still, you had spent the entirety of last night getting your guts rearranged by his superior. You figured you had outdone him. "Yeah? It's alright."

"No, it's not," He answered, much to your surprise, "I had no right to hit you. That was super out of line. I'm just... I've been stressed out with work and you being gone, and... I dunno, I..."

The line paused again. You took another hit.

"I can't shake this feeling about you in Tokyo. I feel like something's wrong," He finished.

Your stomach churned with unease. He was right, of course, but you couldn't let onto that – if it had taken him that long to notice, he couldn't really care. Hell, he hadn't called you since you left.

"Like what?" You replied with a noncommittal hum. You couldn't give less of a shit what he was feeling, to be completely fair and honest. He never cared what you were thinking?

"I don't know what. I know I said some rude things, but... I don't think that's an excuse for you to be ignoring me like this. I've been waiting for your call," He sighed. "Are you okay? Are we okay?"

You nearly burst out laughing at the sheer irony of it all. So now he cares?

He's far too late.

As if on cue, the sliding door opened. Faintly, you could hear Denji and Power shouting at each other in the background, followed by a set of quiet footsteps right behind you. The door shut. You didn't have to turn around to know who it was.

Aki came up on you from behind, wrapping his strong arms around your waist, nestling his face into the crook of your neck. He smelled of pancakes and laundry soap and cologne, a scent so divine that it had you relaxing into his touch instantly.

On the phone, your husband drew on, "Hello? You still there?"

You felt a warm kiss at the back of your neck, followed by another that landed a little higher, and then a little higher. Then he peppered a series of butterfly kisses to the sensitive skin there. You grinned, leaning into his touch while swatting him away all the same.

"Yeah," You answered, voice teetering on a giggle. Aki pulled you flush against his chest, arms squeezing you tight while he teased you with more butterfly kisses. "Sorry, I'm multitasking."

Aki's hands gripped your hips, pulling them back so that your ass was pressed right up against him. Then, he leaned down, nibbling softly at the skin near the corner of your jaw – then soothed over it with a lick of his warm, flattened tongue.

You bit back a laugh, pushing him away. Finally, he seceded, leaving you alone so that he could sit down on the chair on the balcony and watch you.

Your husband spoke up. You had almost forgotten he was there. In a few short words, he shattered your entire world;

"I'm being stationed in Tokyo."

a/n: ermmmmmmm... heyyyyy... how yall doin.... ok now look. don't hate me. you know after all that sugar i gave yall i had to throw in a curveball, cmon. (this is a notiddygothgf fanfic after all). dont be too mad, i'll be back shortly!!! the plot thickens from here. I wonder what will happen?? (jk i already know but id love to hear what YALL think will happen). (you know mama always makes it up to you bbs). THANK YOU FOR ALL OF YOUR UNWAVERING SUPPORT! You guys and ur comments literally keep me going. Part of me never wants this story to end (which is crazy bc it was originally a one shot lmfao.). anyway not too much more, love yall!! ciao pookies! x

credits: UNKOWN ATM. I found the cover pic on pinterest unfortch. If you know the artist, please let me know, so I can credit them properly for their work!!! This is NOT MY BEAUTIFUL DRAWINGGG. I obviously do not own csm or anything related to it. please do not reproduce, copy, or translate my works anywhere. dont fk w me im a bruja.

also: come find me on my wattpad if u wanna interact more!

taglist: @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505 , @acethebrave , @mitsuyeahhh , @sleepysnk , @enneadec , @noaabean , @em1e , @drakensdarling , @bertholdts--butt , @satanlovesusall666 , @mitsuwuyaa , @noctifule , @scaraphobia , @ask-the-insect-hashira , @lovingranchturkeyweasel , @bontensbabygirl , @slvdsjjk , @novacrystalli , @hanmastattoos , @kodzuksn , @hqtiny , @ohmaiscool15 , @redlittlequeen , @leivane , @goldeneagles-posts , @yeahblahlame , @no-oneelsebutnsu , @cookiesandcreammy , @cawwn , @the-haitani-baton , @littlelovebug98 , @armani78 , @mindurownbussines , @kokos-property , @violetmatcha , @hp-simp505

wanna join the taglist? | shameless ; chapter index

#notiddygxthgf ˚ ༘♡ ⋆｡˚#shameless!#aki hayakawa #aki x reader #aki hayakawa x reader #hayakawa aki x reader #csm x reader #chainsaw man x reader

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smallbutters · 11 months ago

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Sickly Bodies - Michael Myers x Reader

Content Warnings - Stalking , mentions of suicide, murder (duh), uuuh michael myers is a warning alone lol

Notes - Minors DNI PLEASE, fluff but also murder, SFW, no specific pronouns or gendered terms used :))

Eyes of the devil.

Black, soulless voids behind them, devoid of all humanity.

Ever since he was transferred to the Sanitarium, Michael has been referred to and treated as a being of pure evil - a blight upon this world. How would Dr. Loomis react now, to the situation Michael finds himself in?

A body lies in his house, in his bed, and for once it hasn’t gone cold, the heat of life still flowing through it.

You.

Sick as all hell, writhing in pain as whatever illness you have beats you into a pained, sluggish version of your normal self.

Michael stands aside the bed, making no movement.

He watches you, for a while - rolling back and forth occasionally, groaning in pain all the while.

When you finally become aware enough to notice that you aren't alone, you look up to his mask and give a meek smile. Michael isn't a comforting person, he never learned how to be or even received any himself, but something in you knows that this is his attempt at it.

"You don't have to stand here, you know."

You get no response.

A few seconds of silence pass as you close your eyes, letting out a slow, shallow breath.

"This will pass, it might take a bit longer since you don't have any medicine in the cabinets, but I'll be just fine soon enough..." You trail off.

You are once again met with silence.

It doesn't take too long for you to succumb to the exhaustion and fall asleep, your body being completely drained from fighting off this virus. You don't know how long Michael stayed there, or if he even was there after you finished talking - for such a big body, he's incredibly quiet.

Unbeknownst to you, he stayed, unmoving, for a good half an hour after you drifted off.

He was planning on going out tonight - a frat house down the street has been too rowdy lately, and losing a few members would likely get them to quiet down (you had been bothered by the noise lately, but that isn’t why he’s going for them) But leaving you here alone, sick and in pain seemed to hurt his cold heart.

Why?

If you posed an obstacle for him and his goals, he really should just kill you. You two have been together for a few months now, in a sort of problem-and-problem-enabler type situation - you provided him a place to stay at your half-used apartment, food, and company (an attempt at it, at least), and Michael provided with a sense of safety as your behind-the-scenes guard dog, and an odd sense of pride knowing you’ve, to an extent, tamed the beast terrorizing Haddonfield.

Michael isn’t stupid, not in a general sense. While he had been in a mental institution for the past fifteen-odd years, he's killed dozens of people by now and never got even remotely close to being caught. He’s just a little socially confused. He’s been treated like the devil itself for the past 15 years of his life, so your kindness, let alone your peaceful coexistence with him is somewhat lost to him. Even the night you met had been something he’d never thought he’d let happen.

You had been taking pictures of the old Myers house a few months back, just after sunset. There was enough light for you to see, but with every photo you took that was getting more and more difficult. You had walked here by yourself, which you quickly began to regret - you could hear quiet(ish) shuffling coming from the side of the house, and it definitely wasn’t getting further away. You obviously knew of Michael, everyone did - but August was much earlier than he’d ever returned, and you knew some local teens had taken up pretending to be him just to get a scare out of people. At first you thought you’d just get a little spooked and laughed at, then be able to head home safely, but apparently impersonating a killer doesn’t sit well with said killer.

The two impostors were killed with ease and a lack of ceremony, and you were quickly thrown into the house. You thought the last thing you’d ever see would be that infamous pale white mask looking into your eyes, but it wasn’t. You saw the eyes behind it - the man, the human. In complete honesty, neither of you knew why what happened next turned out the way it did. One moment you were pinned against the wall by the real Michael, the blood from the two imposters staining both your clothes. Then all he did was let out a loud huff before stalking away. The man who never left someone alive let you, of all people, live.

In the coming months you began to spot him near your apartment and - seemingly - following you around town. You were smart enough not to tell anyone, as you knew he’d disappear before anyone else could spot him and you’d wake up to a pool of your own blood and live out your last moments from a betrayal-fueled, merciless kill. From then on you had learned to interpret his non-verbality, which lead to an eventual fucked-up kind of kinship. You never tried to get him to stop what he does - to “fix” him. He appreciated that. With time he began to enjoy, even desire your company, and even went as far as allowing you to see who he was under the mask.

Getting to the location was easy enough - it was dark as all hell outside in the early December nights, and no one wanted to leave the safety and comfort of their homes. Especially since the small town had just been visited by the infamous boogeyman. Except, seemingly, the exact house he had his sights on. Perhaps it was just a lapse in judgement by a house full of drunk, intelligence-deprived party goers, but perhaps they thought one escaped asylum serial killer wouldn’t be able to survive against all of them. Either way, they left the side door unlocked. Entering the house, Michael quietly stalked around the trash strewn about - it seemed like a party had just concluded, which meant it was very likely that everyone in the house was dead asleep from over drinking. Easy targets.

It didn’t take long for Michael to be almost completely alone in the frat house. His ability to quietly stalk through it was really put to the test however, as the house was absolutely filthy. He could smell, even through his mask, the stink of cheap alcohol, smoke, and something that he’d be alright with never fully identifying. The ground was almost completely littered in something that looked like discarded clothes, with various kinds of large stains just about everywhere - for once maybe he’d actually be the good guy by killing whoever made this mess.

Finding said filth was pretty easy, people were asleep on the floor, on couches, piled together on beds. He saw two bodies sharing a bed, one draping an arm over the other, their hand being held by the other. He thought of you - your warmth finally allowing him to get some real rest at night. How you were never scared of his large hands, never seeming to care about the blood that can’t be washed from them. How you also seemed to sleep better in his presence, sometimes waiting up for him to even get to bed.

You better not be doing that now.

That room took him a bit longer to get through.

The last room was on the eastern side of the building, the master bedroom. Only a few people were in this room, two piled on the bed and one asleep face-down on the floor, lying in a pool of… something. Michael had gotten rid of two of them before he noticed how the only window of this room was perfectly facing your old apartment. You had been splitting time between there and the old Myers house ever since that night, but the knowledge that anyone in this house could have seen you through that window made his blood boil. He can’t stop you from interacting with people; he had enough common sense to know that you had to work and get money to sustain yourself and get whatever you thought Michael needed as well, and that a good person like you needed more than just a serial killer for company (much to his dismay). However, he absolutely could stop people from going to you first. As he stood over the last soon-to-be-corpse, panting from the adrenaline, he came up with a plan.

Michael had always made his kills swift and brutal, leaving no room for anyone to think it wasn’t his work. But tonight, he changed it up a bit. He woke the last victim up, quickly grabbing him from behind.

“Wha…what?”

The poor boy was barely conscious as Michael put the knife into the other’s hand, using his own to guide him to slit his own throat. Of course, there was a slight struggle, but having a hangover and fighting against a killing machine worked against the last man’s favor, and the knife glided across the skin, breaking through with a steady trickle of blood. He fell to the floor in a position of apparent suicide, and Michael then got to work. He wanted it to seem that this poor boy had lost his mind and killed every member of the afterparty he had hosted himself, all because of an obsession with the person across the street - you. Michael staged the scene by changing the boy into his overalls (plenty of stupid people had been impersonating Michael, no one would think it was actually his.) On a piece of paper, he wrote down your typical schedule for any given week - no, he did not memorize it, and he certainly didn’t repeat it to himself like a mantra when he needed to focus. Don’t be stupid. To anyone who’d see the scene, it would look like an obsessed maniac realized you were out of his grasp, lost his mind, killed all his friends and then himself. The police would likely put together that you were his target, and they would likely question you, but Michael knew you wouldn’t say anything. If anything, you’d probably assume they meant him, and would be absolutely shocked when it would be revealed to be someone else. Maybe you’d put together that it was all an elaborate ruse from Michael.

Maybe you’d thank him.

Michael stole a change of clothes and left, leaving the knife as proof of the crime clearly not committed by him, a small bottle of cold medicine he found on the nightstand rattling in the pocket of his pants.

As he expected, the house was quiet when he returned. Well maybe not expected, but that’s what he wanted to greet him. He hated when you stayed up for him, as if you were an old married couple (deception and avoidance was his game, it was only a matter of him before he fell victim to it himself). You were his captive, and would likely end up being his victim too (deception). There was no love in his heart, in this home, anywhere close to him. He’s a killer, and only a killer (avoidance).

So why do his hands twitch when he thinks of you? Why does his body move on its own, craving your warmth and touch?

You were still asleep when he got to the bedroom, breathing shallow. He set the medicine bottle on the nightstand closest to you, going into the bathroom to make sure he was free from any blood before he joined you bedside. The dip in the mattress woke you up enough for you to open your eyes to see a bottle of cold medicine left for you (don’t mind the dark red smear on the label).

“Thinking of me even during a bloodbath?”

You sat up and took two of the small pills, washing them down with the glass of water you had gotten earlier in the night. When you laid back down, you were pulled into the grasp of your oh-so-thoughtful killer. You felt his face nuzzle into your hair with an uncanny tenderness- wait. His face? Like, the actual one?

“Your mask- where is it?”

He opted to not respond, instead pulling you further into his chest. You quietly hummed, too tired to press it any further. You reached back and grabbed his hand and pulled it close, right on top of your heart.

He huffed in response.

#michael myers #slasher x reader #halloween #original writing #slasher community #michael myers x reader

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cherriegyuu · 1 year ago

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Elevator | 02

pairing: jihoon x fem!reader genre: angst, soulmate word count: 17k sumary: in a world where soulmates exists, jihoon is faced with difficult decisions

part one | part two (final)

He doesn't know what woke him up first, the wetness on his face or how tight his chest felt - like it was about to explode. Maybe it was a weird mix of both.

Pushing the covers off his body, Jihoon tried to sit up. There was no reason for him to be feeling that way, he knew that. He didn't dream of anything, or at least he didn't remember it. In an attempt to calm himself, Jihoon got out of bed, went to the bathroom, and washed his face.

But the tears were still there when he tried them off, the tightness in his chest and throat getting stronger by the second. He hadn't felt that way in so long and even back then it wasn't that bad…

Jihoon ran to the door before his body could fully process what he was doing. His mind moved much faster than his recently awoken body allowed him to. There was only one reason why tears would spill from his eyes without his permission, one that he was never able to control.

"y/n!"

Jihoon hit the wooden door with all his strength, both of his hands taking turns on an unstoppable plea for you to open the door. He knew that you were the only one who could bring out that sort of reaction in him. He should have realized it earlier. It took him too long to wake up and understand what was happening.

"y/n! Please, open the door"

He didn't stop even when a neighbor came out to see what all the commotion was about. At that point, he didn't know if the tears in his eyes were only yours or if his own had gotten mixed up together. And being honest he didn't care.

Your name was on the tip of his tongue, ready to be called out again when the door was door was pulled open. Jihoon didn't even have a chance to look at your face before your arms circled his neck and pulled him close.

Not knowing what to do, he just held your trembling body close. Running his hand over the length of your hair, in a silly attempt to calm you down. It was obvious that it wasn't going to help all that much, but little was still better than nothing at all. Some sort of momentary comfort was all he could give you.

When he was a kid, Jihoon's mom would do the same to him. Not when he was simply throwing a tantrum, though his parents always caved during those times, they knew the difference between real and fake tears.

The notch in his throat got thicker as your arms got tighter around him.

"It's Chan," you said finally, your words muffled by his shoulder "Accident"

You said more but all of your words got lost in his shirt. Though he didn't understand the rest, what he did understand was more than enough. When both of you were stuck at the elevator, you explained it to him or, rather, gave him little information that told him everything he needed to know.

He pulled your hands away from him and took a step back. Your hair was sticking to your face, your pajamas wrinkled, and the tears left an obvious path on your cheeks.

Jihoon wanted to protect you from the world, from himself. However, there was only one thing he could offer you.

"Put your shoes on, I'll take you to him"

Somewhere along the road, you stopped crying. The only sound coming from you was the leftover sobs that still lightly shook your body. Your eyes had been so focused on the road ahead of you, on how it seemed endless, that you didn't even notice that Jihoon held your hand, that he looked at you now and then - concern covering all of his features.

The only thing on your mind was Chan. If he was okay, what exactly had happened to him? The emptiness that filled you when you were told that your parents were gone threatened to make its appearance once again and you hated it.

Another car crash.

Was it possible that life, universe, destiny, god, or whatever it was called, was cruel enough to take someone else from you like that? You wanted to believe that lightning doesn't strike the same place twice but it was hard to do so. No one wanted to give out any information on your brother over the phone, even when Jihoon tried calling them and playing the doctor card.

It was completely silent. The world around you got smaller, and darker until it was hard to breathe. And there was nothing that you could do about it.

Jihoon was doing his best, driving over the speed limit, but having to be careful so both of you didn't get in an accident too. A car drive that usually took three hours became two but still felt like an eternity.

Please be okay.

You bolted out of the car the second it stopped, forgetting to check if Jihoon was behind you. Everyone looked at you with wide eyes as you rushed inside, taking notice of your pajamas, worn-out shoes, and messy hair.

"Someone called me about my brother, and said that he was brought in after an accident"

The lady behind the computer looked at you over her glasses and sighed. It was something she was used to, desperate people looking for family members.

"Name?"

"Lee Chan"

It felt like forever had gone by while she typed your brother's name and waited for the computer to load all the information.

"ER 3" she finally said.

A huge hospital, with more hallways than what you thought was possible, separated you from Chan. Thankfully Jihoon seemed to know exactly where that was. His hand landed lightly on your lower back, guiding you.

You walked inside the room frantically, going from bed to bed, until you heard Chan's voice, his laugh going around the wide room.

Pulling the curtains away you were faced with a very happy Chan, looking at his coach like nothing was wrong in the world. A sling covered his arm and an orthopedic boot was around his left leg.

"What are you doing here?"

All of the concern and fear you felt seconds before were replaced by anger. The purest kind of anger that exists, borderline wrath. Your body now shook for an entirely different reason.

"You were drunk and driving?"

It was so easy to pick up the smell of cheap beer and booze on his clothes. It was so strong that you were sure that he had bathed in it.

"I wasn't the one driving," he said.

He was out of it, almost completely. His words were a slurred mess, the smell of vomit coming out of his clothes and mouth almost made you want to throw up. The scene right in front of you made you wonder just what kind of life Chan was living now that he was at college, away from you.

"Do you have any idea how worried I was? I thought you were gone too" the words were barely a whisper. You wanted to hit him, shake him until he was finally back to his senses until that goddamn alcohol left his body.

Instead, you cried. You were angry with him for being so careless but you were also thankful. You spend three hours thinking that he was dead, that because no one wanted to tell you how he was, the worst must have happened. The fear of being in a world without Chan, of being left alone, far greater than anything you've ever felt. It didn't even compare to the day you lost your parents, because then you had Chan. Without him, you weren't too sure of what would be left of you.

"So what now?" you turned to his coach, pushing the tears away.

You remember talking to him briefly before at one or two tournaments you had attended since Chan was a freshman. He wasn't exactly what one would expect of a taekwondo coach, short, bald, and fat, but your brother loved him. Whenever you talked with Chan he only had good words to say about the older man.

"Well, he's suspended for starters" when Chan complained his coach turned to him, his voice suddenly louder than when he was speaking to you "You were training for a competition, you weren't even supposed to be out of your damn dorm"

You were grateful that your brother had someone like that in his life, someone who was willing to ground him and call him on his shit, though all of it could be for show. Maybe he was just playing tough in front of you and at the end, he was like all other coaches ever, the kind that thinks that athletes should be above everything else.

"He'll also need time to heal his arm and leg. So maybe three months overall?"

That was going to be hell for Chan, you knew that. For as long as you could remember, everything he ever did was somehow related to the sport. There was no way Chan and Taekwondo existed in separate realms.

He couldn't be older than four when you first heard him talk about Taekwondo. The two of you were watching TV and someone in the movie was doing it. The second he saw it, he fell in love with it. He said Sis, I want to do that. And, oh how he wanted it.

For weeks he walked behind your dad begging to go to classes. I'll be the bestest boy, I promise! Until your parents finally caved. You had never seen Chan quite that happy. It was like someone that young had already found what they were supposed to with their life.

Your parents were sure that Chan would eventually give it up, that he was just going through a phase. Every kid wants to be thousands of different things while growing up and your parents were sure that Chan would be just like all of those kids. It didn't turn out that way though.

As time went by Chan was falling deeper into Taekwondo. There were days that he didn't talk much when he got home, he was frustrated, slamming doors and barely eating. But when you walked past his room you would see him training with a frown on his face and trying again and again. Some days he managed to get it right and others he failed. But never once he gave up, not even for a second.

"I'll take him home, to make sure that he doesn't do anything stupid"

You assured the coach, who seemed relieved by your words.

"As if" Chan scoffed.

You could barely see him, his coach covering most of his body, so you pushed the older man to the side.

"Oh, this is not up for debate. You're coming home with me and that's final"

He looked at you then, his eyes turning vicious, knowing that whatever he said next was going to hurt you but still choosing to go forward with it.

"You're not my mom, you can't make me"

He was being petulant, acting in a way he hadn't since he was fourteen, or maybe fifteen. But instead of backing down, let him have the last word, you crossed your arms over your chest and held your head higher than ever before.

"I'm not Mom, but I'm the only one you've got so suck it up and do as I say"

Jihoon didn't dare to stay inside with you after he saw that Chan was fine, or as fine as he could be considering the situation. He figured it was more of a family situation and whatever he wanted, which was to stay close to you, didn't matter all that much. He reached for his phone and dialed his mom's number before he could stop himself - or even realize what he was doing.

He didn't think that his mom would actually pick up the phone. It was late, the middle of the night, but that was never a problem with Jihoon's mom. Since he was a kid she told him that she worked better during the night and that was one of the reasons why he never really cared about the time he called her.

"Hey son"

Of all the people he met in his life, patients, friends, and coworkers, his mother was by far the easiest-going person he ever came across. He knew that if he called her and asked about soulmates and how the bond worked she wouldn't make a big deal out of it. She would be curious about it, like crazy, but she wouldn't press Jihoon to talk about it - at least for a few weeks.

"Hi Mom, how are you?"

"Who do I have to thank for this phone call?"

He could hear her smile. Was that a weird thing to say? He just knew when she was smiling.

"I have this friend, right?" his mom hummed at the other end, probably knowing that he was full of shit "And he met his soulmate, for a while now, and things are going sort of… bumpy. He is sort of an idiot, but she is great. Anyway… you've always said that once the bond is made and the mark is gone, the trait that connects souls vanishes. But what if it doesn't?"

"You mean it happened again?"

It was his turn to hum and his mom went silent on the other end. He heard as she moved around, the sound of books being opened and closed, pages being turned, was all he received.

Jihoon knew that he shouldn't have called his mom but she was the only one he could ask. Talking to his dad was just too hard, he would ask too many questions and Jihoon didn't have answers that his dad would like to hear. He wasn't too fond of lying to his dad either.

"It's not impossible" his mother dragged the words out "It doesn't happen very often though. Did it happen to you?"

He choked on his saliva. He tried for a good minute to recompose himself. It was bad enough that a nurse came to check on him.

"I haven't met her yet, you know that"

Jihoon played it off. He didn't call his dad because he had no intention of lying but he was just doing it to his mom.

"You may not talk to me a whole lot but your girlfriend does and she tells me things"

Right then was the moment Jihoon regretted telling Mina about it. Then again, he didn't want to keep anything from her. The entire situation was bad already, he didn't want another thing to make it even worse than it had to be. Mina not knowing about you was going to hell on earth.

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you" was all he said.

Was there anything else he could say? At the end of the day, it was his life and ultimately his decision. But Jihoon had always been the kind of person who talked to their parents, even when it was hard to get the words out. Like in that moment.

He knew what his parents thought, knew that they would want him to stay with his soulmate. That's what the universe planned for you, son. There were too many things fighting him on it. It was like the universe was fighting against him, instead of with him.

"It's your choice, you don't have to apologize," his mother said softly, a hint of sadness in her voice "So this girl, y/n, cried again and you did too?"

He nodded, even though his mother couldn't see him. He felt like a child that did something wrong, who broke something expensive, and lied to his parents because he was scared to get caught. So he told his mother everything, from the day he met you to the moment he almost tore you down.

In complete silence, his mother heard everything that he had to say. Not even once did she stop him to ask anything, something that wasn't like her at all.

Talking about it with someone was better than he expected. Though he told Mina about you, Jihoon didn't dare to say everything - not when she wasn't the one for him. How unfair of him would it be to talk with his girlfriend about his soulmate? He also couldn't talk to Soonyoung about it either. His friend was against everything Jihoon was doing.

"Fear of death," his mother said after some time "What she was feeling was probably too overwhelming, maybe even bigger than the soul connection. The two of you are yet to fully form the bond, both of you are still holding back right now so it's not that strong yet. She was likely scared that her brother was dead and was scared because she was going to be left alone"

Jihoon's car was quite large but it felt way too small for the three of you. The tension in the air was palpable, you could almost see it. You felt the need to apologize to him but also maybe hit Chan in the head with a hammer. He had been sulking the entire time since you left the hospital and that wasn't making the three-hour drive any easier, the smell of vomit and beer wasn’t helping either.

"Will you stop that? It's not the end of the world, okay?"

"That depends. How angry will you be if I fail this semester?" his voice was dripping with sarcasm.

You just knew that Chan was lying about it. From what he told you, and what his coach said, if Chan failed or got bad grades he was out of the Taekwondo team in a blink of an eye.

"Will you quit sport then? You can if you want but I call bullshit"

Instead of a smart comeback at your words, Chan laughed so loudly that even Jihoon seemed startled, his eyes looking at your brother through the rearview mirror. A small smile tones his lips. He was relieved that you and Chan were, apparently, on better terms than when you left the hospital. If his laugh was any indication of it, he wasn't as angry anymore.

"Are you the one teaching her how to curse? Big Sis never did that. Should have learned some of those back in college, would have been very helpful"

You just wanted Chan to shut up. That was ages ago, long enough that you barely remembered it - or you'd like to think you didn't. But it seemed that it was still very much alive in your brother's memory.

"That barely counts as cursing," you said

"What happened in college?" Jihoon asked at the same time.

It was the first time Jihoon said anything at all since you went inside the ER to find a somewhat drunk Chan. When you came out of the room, fuming, ready to just burst, Jihoon remained calm. The only thing he did was hold your hand, to let you know that he was there. As much as you didn't want to admit his presence had helped, it made you feel less likely to go insane at any given moment.

But right in that second, after Chan opened his big mouth, you wished that you were on your own, that your little breakdown didn't at all reflect on Jihoon and he had remained oblivious to it. Something, you had no idea what happened and he was suddenly at your door, screaming your name at the top of his lungs and banging on the door like a madman. His voice somehow helped you to get away from the fog that clouded your mind.

Jihoon's presence had made you feel somehow a little closer to your normal self.

You were sure all of it had to do with the soulbond and you hated it all. Hated the idea that you leaned on him, the fact that even after you promised yourself that you wouldn't let him close to you, he did. And with your permission, on top of that.

Now he was getting an insight into your life when he shouldn't. It felt like you were living your life, since the day you met Jihoon, like a broken record that is stuck in the same song. You told yourself that he wouldn't get close to you again, he promised you that he wouldn't, but at the first chance you got you found yourselves near each other again. Whatever excuse you could come up with was valid enough.

"y/n had a boyfriend in college. Real nice guy until he dumped her the second some other girl showed up"

Let the road swallow me whole, you prayed to whoever listened to you. You didn't want to go there, didn't want to ever talk about that again. Jun had hurt you, yes - quite a lot actually - but many people go through that in life and you certainly weren't going to be the last one.

You were young at the time, thought you had life completely figured out, and believed what Jun told you. It all seemed so simple. Kids born out of bondless couples don't have soulmates; if you stay with someone for long enough the feeling is just the same as the soul bond All of it was just a huge lie, the biggest one someone ever told you. That someone was yourself.

You were with Jun for five years, from the second year of high school to the third one of college. And you believed it. His parents weren't soulmates either and you two hit it off since the first second. Other kids at school looked at the two of you in a funny way but neither of you seemed to mind.

It was true, you didn't in the least. You were happy when you were with him and he was too, or at least you liked to think so. You wish you could say that something happened, that towards the end things were bad, but it would be a lie. Everything was fine, great actually. You had been talking about moving in together and life after college. One word that could describe what you felt, was happiness. You felt as if the world was conspiring with you, helping you move forward in life.

One day Jun called you and asked to meet you for coffee. You went, of course. Put on nice clothes, did your makeup, thinking you were meeting your boyfriend for a date in the middle of the afternoon. An escape, as he liked to call it. You noticed that something was wrong the second you went inside the cafe. One look at Jun was more than enough to tell that something was wrong and whatever it was, it was enough to break everything that was carefully built for a little over five years.

"I've met her, my soulmate"

All plans and dreams vanished the very second those words were said out loud. You swallowed everything, the lump in your throat, the sudden pain in your chest, and smiled. I should be happy for him. Just because it wasn't certain that you would find your soulmate didn't mean that Jun had to stick beside you.

Soo Ji was nice. Not someone you would ever picture as Jun's soulmate but the universe worked at its own pace. It wasn't your place to butt in. At first, you two, and even Soo Ji in some ways, tried to stay close. For years you stuck to each other so it was weird not to be close or in some sort of contact. But soon you understood that it didn't work quite like that.

A relationship of three doesn't work.

"It was his soulmate, what did you expect him to do?" you asked quietly.

You had that same argument many times with Chan over the years and it always ended the same way. He didn't quite understand and you always played it like it was nothing at all.

"Stay with you. Lots of people do the same. I bet he is miserable right now, thinking that he should have stayed with you"

Chan couldn't be more wrong. Out of coincidence, you met Jun the other day. He came into the bakery with Soo Ji, a baby in her arms. You had never, not even once, seen Jun smile that brightly when he introduced you to his son. Both of them seemed happy together. It was like the things left unsaid weren't there, that there were no lingering feelings. And perhaps there weren't any on their end, maybe that was only you. You who tried to grab onto something that was doomed from the start.

Soo Ji had been the one to see that your mark was gone. You could see in her eyes that she didn't ask with malice, she seemed genuinely happy for you. For the first time, you felt the need to lie, to pretend that you were living a life that didn't belong to you.

So you did.

You told them about your soulmate, about how amazing he was, how happy you were with each other. You just blurted out lies about your life, about moments that never happened, of a future that wouldn't exist at all.

"Does it make sense that you're here, sad, all on your own because he left?"

You shook your head, a sigh escaping your parted lips. Chan always had the same argument and he never really understood.

"My soulmate is out there, I'll find him"

Jihoon stiffed by your side, or maybe he had been like that since the whole conversation started and you simply didn't notice. Your words weren't meant to hurt him, they were only supposed to shut Chan up. It was what you always said and, like many times before, it worked wonders.

More than anyone in your life, Chan knew what your limit was and when it was time to just stop. And that was the right moment to stop, when he saw your hand going unconsciously to your left shoulder and massaged it lightly. The spot your mark was on.

"I've met mine, you know," he said quietly, more of a secret to himself than words that were supposed to be said out loud.

You did your best not to make a fuss over it. Like you, Chan had been certain that he would never meet his other half. Your mother's words floated around in your mind, both of you are special. You thought of it only as parent talk. Every parent says that in hopes to lighten up their kids. It just seemed that your parents were onto something when they said that you.

"What happens now?" was all you asked.

If you learned one thing about Chan over the twenty years you've known him was that his life was his and his feelings were only for himself to know about. You had to always be careful of what you said to him, how you asked things. He never lashed out at you, or your parents. The only time he got worked up over something was talking about Jun.

Chan was always the kind of person that retreats into himself whenever things get too much and you knew that his feelings were too much.

"Nothing. We don't get along at all, that's it"

Your eyes drifted to Jihoon for a second, to find him looking back at you.

Was it possible that both, you and your brother, were doomed when it came to your soulmates?

My soulmate is out there, I'll find him.

Your words hunted Jihoon in his sleep - or better said the lack of them. After he dropped you and Chan home, Jihoon went straight to the hospital.

His mind was thankful for the distraction that was work. Never before had he been that pleased to work twelve hours without a break. His day had been so busy that he didn't even find a few minutes to talk to Soonyoung - which was probably a blessing in disguise.

Jihoon was certain that if his friend found out about what you said he would have been thrilled, ready to rub it in his face that he had indeed messed up. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. Jihoon couldn't do to Mina what your college boyfriend did to you. How was he supposed to walk away from Mina like nothing at all ever happened? He couldn't just leave you behind you either.

His mind went around like it was in a maze, only to end up in the same place he started. He had no idea what he was supposed to do. He was certain of one thing though: hearing you talk like he wasn't there, as if you hadn't met him at all, hurt a lot more than he expected.

My soulmate is out there, I'll find him.

He felt that he was made of thin air, that someone could just pretend that he didn't exist. Not once in his life he felt that way. Jihoon never felt so little that he believed he could truly disappear.

So he did the only thing he could do, he waited until morning and knocked on your door. Chan was the one who opened the door for him.

"Is your sister still at home?"

He looked at Jihoon with narrowed eyes, head slightly tilted to the said. The doctor was ready to have the door closed on his face but Chan just shook his shoulders and pointed to a closed door at the other side of the room.

Jihoon was surprised to see that even though your apartment had the same design as his, everything was completely different. Where his place was mostly white and grey, yours was colorful. When he looked at the walls he felt that life jumped out of them, straight to his face pointing out everything that was wrong with his place - or maybe even him.

You had an entire wall dedicated to your family. Pictures of a younger version of you, of Chan when he couldn't be older than ten holding medals and trophies, of your parents and the family together. Jihoon didn't have a single picture of his parents and friends in his apartment, not even on his phone.

"Don't look around too much, the walls may fall down," Chan said from behind him.

All Jihoon did was give him a nod and knock on the bedroom door quickly before going in. You were sitting in your bed, putting your shoes on, when Jihoon burst through the door.

It wasn't at all what you expected to see in the first few hours of the day but you were certain that it would eventually happen. You hoped for it to be much later than it was but there was nothing that you could do to fight it off.

You knew Jihoon was going to ask why you said what you said. He seemed uncomfortable when he heard you but being honest you wished that he could just let it go. Those words were more to soothe Chan than anything else. You knew who your soulmate was and had already found him, you just didn't know what to do with yourself.

You wished your life could be as simple and easy as the movie made it seem, as Jun had made it look like that all those years before. All you wanted to do was take Jihoon by the hand and run towards the sunset like everyone else. Why is it that everything seemed to be just a little harder for you? While all the people around you, not that there were many but enough, seemed to have their entire lives figured out you were still struggling to take a step forward.

You had been so naïve when Jihoon suddenly showed up in your life. Though you convinced yourself that he would reject you, you still hoped that he wouldn’t. Wanted with the strength of your body that just once things would go your way. The easy way. How easy it would have been if you could just simply follow your heart.

Buried deep down in your heart was the truth you never allowed yourself to say out loud, to even feel. Jihoon carved a place for himself in you, even if your words said the other way. He was the first person you thought about every morning and the desire to hear his voice was the last thing you felt before falling asleep. But none of it belonged to you. Though those feelings existed and were yours, they belonged in a box deep inside the closet where no one could ever have access to it.

If you couldn’t acknowledge your feelings it was better to pretend that they didn’t exist. It was best to pretend that Jihoon didn’t exist.

“Why are you here?”

You looked at him quickly before going back to tying your shoes.

“We have to talk. I wanted to tell you something…”

“I don’t want to hear it” you got up and walked past him, pulling out a coat and putting it on “I appreciate what you did, how you helped me with Chan and stayed by my side. Honestly, thank you for that. But I wish you’d keep your word and stop coming around”

He took a step back as if your words had physically hurt him. Jihoon’s face wasn’t as composed anymore. His soft features contorted into something that you couldn’t quite put your finger on.

“I know I said that but it’s not easy”

“And you think this is easy for me?” you pushed the wardrobe door closed with a loud sound. You were sure that it was loud enough that Chan was able to hear it from outside “You keep playing this game of push and pull. It hurts, Jihoon. It hurts so much because you don’t want me, but you also don’t want to let me go. I’m stuck here and have no idea what I'm supposed to do! Should I follow my heart and let this go on, even though I know I'm going to have it broken in the end? Or do I do the reasonable thing and tell you to fuck off?"

You hadn't realized that you were crying until Jihoon was in front of you, his hands on your face as his own eyes welled with tears. You hated how good it felt to have him touch you. Your skin seemed that it was on fire, your entire body reacted to his proximity.

“Don’t cry, not because of me”

You almost laughed at him. He should have said something before you spent the entire night tucked in bed doing your best so Chan wouldn’t hear a sound from the couch. He noticed that something was wrong when you walked inside the apartment. Chan became certain when you moved around like you were on autopilot, when you didn’t say anything about the accident, or even when you didn’t get close to the kitchen at all.

Before whenever Jihoon said that he would stay away you’d secretly wish that he wouldn’t. You used to think that just a little of him was better than nothing at all but as time went by you learned that it wasn’t at all like that. For your sanity, it would have been better if you hadn’t met him at all.

"Can you look at me and say we will be together? That you're going to leave Mina and be with me, as it's supposed to happen between soulmates?"

You could see it, his pain. It was evident in the way his face contorted as if showing the way his brain was working. You know that he wouldn't leave Mina and in a way, you were proud of him. Loyal to a fault. Maybe if Jun had shown you the same loyalty things would be much different.

“Let’s end this, whatever it is, right now. I can’t do this anymore”

Jihoon shook his head in protest as you pushed him away from you, trying desperately to cling onto you – in whatever way he could, for however long he could. But you were adamant about your decision. Nothing he said or did would make you change your mind.

“I’ve been rejected before and it didn’t hurt half as this. I loved Jun very much but I was always ready for the moment he would leave, he wasn’t my soulmate. I knew that it could happen but with you... It never crossed my mind, not even for a second, that something like this could happen. That I would have you this close to me and yet you were so far away. Unreachable. Please, let me go. This never really started but let’s end it anyway”

What could Jihoon say to make it okay again? He knew that there weren’t a lot of words that could do so, and none of them came to mind. Probably because he knew that nothing he said would make you change your mind. He didn’t know you all that well but one look at you was enough to tell him that nothing would.

He just stood in place, his fingers holding loosely to your sleeve. One last silent attempt. You looked at his hand for a second before wrapping your fingers around his wrist and pushing it away. You walked past him, being careful this time not to touch him in any way. Pulling the door open you crossed your arms over your chest, for protection more than anything else.

“Get out, please”

It felt weird to look at the place you had called home for two years empty. When you first moved in you thought of it as a place you would stay for years to come, until the day you managed to get your own house.

The decision to move was you being purely selfish, it was you running away. It was bittersweet, to be honest. You were trying to pretend that nothing ever happened and at the same time doing your best to give yourself a fresh start.

It took you a little over two months to finally find a place that was of your liking and that had two bedrooms, not one like the apartment you lived in before. Though Chan no longer needed to stay with you, since he was fully recovered and had gone through his suspension, you still wanted to have a room for him. He was all grown up and could take care of himself but to you, he was still a little scrawny kid running around pretending that he was the best taekwondo athlete the world had ever seen.

“I never thought that I would have to do this again, you know. Help you move and stuff” Chan complained.

You just rolled your eyes at him. Though your brother recovered and his arm and leg didn’t bother him anymore, you didn’t let him touch a single box. The last thing you needed was to have him complaining that because of you he was feeling sore and couldn’t practice as he should.

“You’re such a baby, we did all the heavy lifting,” Soonyoung said picking up the last box.

It was surprising to still have him around after you cut off any sort of contact with Jihoon. The two of them made no secret that they had been close throughout their entire lives. You thought that by ending your relationship with Jihoon, if you could even call it that, Soonyoung would become a lost friend. It didn’t happen that way though.

Soonyoung kept on showing up like he always did, this time he was just more careful not to say anything at all about Jihoon.

Content perhaps was the best way to describe how you were feeling at the time. It certainly wasn’t how you expected to feel after such a short time, especially compared to how you felt just a couple of weeks before. But it was better than not feeling anything at all. Your mom used to say that you should try to find happiness in the little moments, those matter a lot more than the big ones we make a fuss about.

That day, right there, with the four of you looking at the empty apartment was one of the little moments your mother talked about.

“That’s because my sister loves me very much”

“Don’t go counting on that. I just don’t want your coach screaming at me because you’re not recovered yet”

Chan dropped an arm around your shoulder and pulled you against his side, squeezing you a little too much. Yumi and Soonyoung weren't related by blood to you but whenever you looked at the two of them it made you feel that they were your family.

A small family, made of people who chose to be with each other, sounded pretty amazing.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Yumi asked for the billionth time.

It was almost funny to have her talk that way to you. Not that long ago she was the one encouraging you to go on a date. Pushing you, was a better way to put it. And now she was the one who seemed to have reservations about it. Or maybe she was just being cautious because she wasn't the one who introduced you to him, to Seungcheol.

To be honest it wasn't the first time you met him, not really. Attending your request, Soonyoung had taken him to the bakery. You knew that it wasn't the best place to meet someone for the first time but it was all you were willing to do.

That's probably why your friends seemed cautious and confused about your decision because they thought that you were mostly setting yourself up for failure.

Partially, you could understand it.

Yumi knew you for years, since the day you entered college with a bunny plushie that dated from when you were just a baby. She saw how you always held yourself back when meeting someone. The stories were no secrets and your future love life wasn't going to be as bright as hers or half of the world's. Instead of making you more outgoing and willing to try new things, it made you more cautious. There was also the whole situation with Jun, your parents' accident happened just a few months after that. Everything just sort of went to shit within a year.

"You seem more nervous than me" you laughed at her.

Yumi huffed and turned her back to you, carefully choosing the shade of blush she wanted to apply to your cheeks. You looked between lovely rose and glow, and finally chose the one on the right side. Why the hell not? you thought. You were the one starting this so it made sense that you were the one to put the most effort into it. Also, you knew that Yumi was going to put on glow on your face whether you wanted it or not.

"I am but then again when wasn't I? I set up all of your past dates but this feels different. I always felt more excited than you. For this though… I never saw it coming after... you know"

Does anyone ever think that they'll meet their soulmate and then simply move on, and date other people? It didn't sound plausible. But you weren't naive, you knew that it happened. You just didn't think that it would happen to you.

"No one ever does but life happens. Now help me, I want to look pretty”

Yumi smiled at you, not a full one like you were used to but a tiny one. It was still better than nothing at all.

“You want this”

She sounded surprised and it almost hurt you, but not to the point you got angry.

“He seems nice, doesn’t he? And handsome too, right?”

Just once in your life, you wanted to act young, probably younger than your age saw fitting, and gush about a handsome guy with your friend. And Yumi caught onto that quickly because a second later she was sitting by your side telling you all the dos and don’ts of a date.

“What is it with you? Where do you even find these guys? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you talk to an ugly guy, that was all me”

Seungcheol was, to put it in a few words, not at all what you expected. And that wasn’t a bad thing at all.

When you first met him, knowing only the simple description Soonyoung had given you, you thought of him as someone quiet and shy. It was true that he liked to have his own time, be by himself thinking about his life and those around him. But that wasn’t all there was to him, of course.

That first date, or at least the first time you considered a date, made you feel seen in a way that you never felt before. Seungcheol gave you his full attention the entire night, never looking bored. He seemed genuinely interested in what you were saying, from the bakery that took most of your time, to Chan, who was competing at the time so you were worried about him getting injured again.

He walked you home after dinner, his fingers brushing yours from time to time until he finally held your hand. You felt your cheeks get warm as a small smile played on your lips.

After that first date, the two of you were inseparable. When he got off work he went to the bakery and on the days he couldn’t make it, you found yourself texting him in between one recipe and another. For the first time, you felt clingy towards someone, it was like nothing before.

During the five years you dated Jun, it didn’t happen like that. You loved him with your whole heart, planned your life with him for years ahead of time, but also knew how to be without him. You lived your own life and he did the same, only seeing each other when there was time, especially during college when both of you lived almost completely on your own. Only meeting occasionally once a week, when there was even time to do so.

With Seungcheol even when there was no time you wanted to meet him, talk to him, hear his voice, or read his words. Whatever little pieces of him you could get at a time.

The relationship moved forward quickly, faster than what you or anyone could have predicted. And yet you were the happiest you had ever been. Complete.

“Do you have to leave for work this early?”

You smiled, turning around while pulling your hair one last time through the hair tie. Seeing Seungcheol in the early mornings was like seeing a little piece of paradise every day. From the nest of hair, the small eyes, the throaty voice. Everything about him was very dreamlike, a fairytale of your own.

"Is not my fault you live so far away from downtown"

You sat down by his side, Seungcheol's hand immediately going to your waist. His fingers slightly pushed your shirt up so they could touch your skin. Your fingers reached for the exposed skin of his chest, tracing his tattoo. One that you had grown too fond of since the first few days, the wrong spelling of the word becoming something both of you laughed at.

"If you wait a little, I can take you. It's still dark outside"

Shaking your head you leaned forward, your lips brushing his for a second before pulling back. Your other hand moved to his hair, pushing it away from his face.

"I drove here last night, remember? Don't forget though, Chan is coming for the weekend"

"I've met Chan before, you don't have to be nervous"

Seungcheol smile at you, entertained by your sudden nervousness. He hadn't met Chan yet, not really. Yes, he went with you to one of Chan's competitions but your brother wanted to celebrate with his friends and coach so you didn't bother to stay back. As soon as it was over you and Seungcheol left. So all your boyfriend saw was you screaming at anyone who dared to hit your baby brother and Chan fighting someone.

"I know, it's just… everyone is going to be there and we've never really done this"

By this Seungcheol knew that you meant the fact that even though you had been together for almost a year, neither of you had ever made things official, in a way. Your friends knew about your relationship but no one had really seen you two together often. That dinner and Chan were just an excuse to gather all of them and finally make it official.

"Hey, don't worry. We've got this"

Dinner with Chan was just ordering some takeout from different restaurants and eating at the store after hours. It was as simple as that. All of you gathered around a table, eating to your heart's content and talking to one another.

What was truly surprising about the night wasn't your first night with Seungcheol and all of your friends at the same time. Not at all. The most unexpected thing was that Chan showed up with a girl, holding her hand nervously. It was funny to look at them, your brother had never been that nervous around you - or anyone else for that matter.

Like a good older sister, and partially responsible for Chan, you wanted to know everything about that girl. How they met, when they met, if they went to the same school, if she too did Taekwondo. But you didn't ask any of that, your brother would have killed you if you did. Instead, you just welcomed her, offered her a drink, and answered questions she had about the bakery.

"You can do that older sister thing, you know? I don't mind" she said from behind you.

You hadn't realized that she followed you inside the kitchen. She was beautiful. Looking at her you would never think that she and Chan would fit together but seeing them side by side made you think that they were meant to be.

Meant to be.

"Are you his soulmate?" she went quiet for a few seconds, her eyes darting all over the kitchen before settling on you again "I'm not judging you, please don't think that. My boyfriend isn't my soulmate and the one before him wasn't either. I don't know why I asked that. I'm sorry"

She smiled at you then, her eyes turning into small crescents on her face. The unsettledness that covered her face just a second before completely vanished.

"In our case, I think it's more of a curse than a blessing" she moved away from the door, helping you with boxes of food and plates "My brother hates him and so does my dad"

Your mind suddenly went back to that day, almost two years before, when Chan and you were in the car with Jihoon. The Taekwondo athlete had been the one to mention his soulmate and had also been the one to brush it off, saying that they didn't get along at all. And then he just showed up with her, no warnings or anything.

"But I'm here now, so it probably means something"

You smiled at her then, passing her a tray while you held the other one.

"It does. It means everything"

You smiled again, happy that whatever happened between the two of them was seemingly in the past, but still somewhat worried over the idea of her family not liking him.

She walked out of the kitchen and Chan went in, right after her. He looked behind his shoulder for a second before closing the door and leaning against it, his arm crossed over his chest.

"What?" you looked at him.

Ever since you moved from the old apartment, Chan had gotten way more protective of you. One would think that he was actually the older brother, from the way he talked to you, always asking if you were doing good, if you were dating.

You knew that he somehow found out about Jihoon and the soulmate thing, probably through Yumi. He never asked and you never said anything.

"I missed seeing you like this," he said quietly and you furrowed your brows at him, still smiling "Happy. You look happy. It's been too long"

You put the tray down and walked to him. You put your hands on his shoulder, forcing him to stand straight.

"Chan, I'm happy" you assured him "And even if my love life was a little all over the place for a few years, I was still happy because I had you"

He mimicked your stance, his hands moving to your shoulder too. The position was awkward, making you laugh and drop your hands by your side.

"I know but I'm not talking about those years and those idiots" he rolled his eyes and pulled you in for a hug "You seem free again, like when you were a teenager. I never told you this, but I always thought you were pretty cool. Even now, that you have this lovey-dovey look on your face, you're still pretty cool"

You pinched his side, causing a laugh to erupt from him, and took a step back, a smile still on your face.

It was so easy to forget sometimes that Chan had grown up over the years and if anything being an athlete helped with that. He was more responsible than most twenty-two-year-olds, he no longer needed your help and you were sure that he only asked for advice to entertain you.

"And for what is worth, I like him" he nodded at the door "I don't think I've ever not seen you smile while talking about him, so you deserve it. Don't ever let go of your happiness, please"

"Then I guess you're stuck with me forever"

It came as no surprise to Jihoon having people in and out of your apartment, the place you once called home, thinking if they should rent it or not.

Everything happened so fast after the day you told him to get lost, that you wanted to end something that hadn't even truly started. One day you were there and the next you weren't, like you had disappeared into thin air.

He tried asking Soonyoung about you. Jihoon knew that the two of you were still in touch so asking about you to his childhood friend seemed like a good idea. But Soonyoung wasn't willing to say anything though, it didn't matter how much he begged and whatever he could promise. The doctor was true to his word and didn't say anything at all.

And Jihoon did his best at staying away like he promised you many times but failed every single chance.

That was why he kept coming around when he knew that it was probably best to stay away from you. When he knew that he should stay away from you. Whenever he was away though, he felt like he was missing a part of himself so he kept coming back. Jihoon made himself believe that it was better to have you close, even if it was in complete silence than to not have you at all.

What he didn’t know was that his actions were as bad for you as they were for him, if not worse. You made a good job of making him believe that you weren’t interested at all in him, that whether he was there or not didn’t make a single difference for you. You were right in front of him and yet he felt as if you were farther apart than when the bond wasn’t made.

When Jihoon told Mina about it, about you, he wasn’t sure what he was supposed to expect. Maybe have her throw him out like it was the case with many others, have her scream at him, or have her tell him that it was okay if he walked away. He could never see it coming, the “so what? It doesn’t have to mean anything”.

That night Jihoon watched as she just turned on her side to sleep, only to wake up the next morning pretending that nothing at all ever happened. Never again Mina mentioned you. It seemed so easy for her to pretend that you didn’t exist at all. Her actions always made him wonder just when had she changed so much. If the roles were reversed and she had been the one to find her soulmate, Jihoon would have been more than happy for her.

As kids, the two of them always talked about what it would be like to find their soulmates. Jihoon coming from the way he was raised, with parents that were soul doctors and conversations that only revolved around soulmate bonds, and Mina having the natural curiosity every kid has.

It was so easy to remember her reaction when she first met Chanwoo.

It happened during her first day of high school, she was a senior just like Jihoon and Soonyoung. When the three of them met during lunch Mina had a pink tint to her cheeks, the tray of food in her hands shook slightly as she walked towards their seat, looking behind her every couple of seconds to ensure someone was still there. From his seat Jihoon saw Chanwoo, a tall guy standing behind Mina, looking at her with the same kind of dreamy eyes she had on.

“Another crush?” Soonyoung teased when she sat down.

During their high school years, it was like Mina had completely forgotten about her soulmate, her interest being entirely focused on the guys at school and her latest crush. One would be surprised how fast she fell in and out of love but all of that could be blamed on raging teenage hormones.

Mina leaned forward, pulling the collar of her shirt to the side showing the now empty skin just below her collarbone, where her mark used to be. Unlike the one Jihoon carried on his wrist, Mina’s mark was just a simple pink glittery strip. She had always been proud of it, saying that she got lucky that hers wasn’t as horrendous as his snowflake or Soonyoung’s smiley face. But her mark was gone.

“If he is the one, what are you even doing here?” Jihoon asked.

He looked over her shoulder to see Chanwoo still standing there, staring at Mina’s back as if he had found his entire reason to live right in that second.

“Can I really do that?”

It was funny how sometimes Mina acted like a kid, who was used to asking permission for everything.

“I mean, we’ve eaten lunch together in the past, what? thirteen years? I don’t mind not having to talk about the latest fashion trend for a day”

One day turned into many and soon enough Mina was someone Jihoon only saw when passing through the hallways or when he was going home. And being honest he didn’t mind it that much. It’s not like he could simply overlook the years of friendship that the three of them shared but he was genuinely happy for Mina. When someone grows up the way they did, with soulmates being the center of their reality, it was only natural that she felt the need to stay with Chanwoo whenever it was possible.

Things only started to get back to normal during college. By then, Mina was far more used to having a soulmate and the idea of being away from him wasn’t as painful as it was at first. The honeymoon phase, as Jihoon and Soonyoung called it, was finally over. The trio then became a quartet and Chanwoo was a nice addition to their small group. Of course that sometimes it was troublesome, especially when Chanwoo and Mina got all touchy with each other. Other than that, everything felt normal again.

Or at least it did for a few years.

“You remember we have dinner with your parents tonight, right? It’s your mom’s birthday” Mina asked.

Jihoon looked up from his phone. He had been staring at the thing for 15 minutes without actually seeing the screen. It was open on the news but he wasn’t reading anything at all. She was in front of her dresser, looking at him through the mirror.

“Yeah. My dad wants to meet after work, though. You don’t have to run there after you finish it off at the office”

Mina smiled at him but it didn’t feel as before. When he was young seeing Mina smile made him somewhat feel happy too. Seeing his friends happy made him feel good, knowing that he had helped get that smile. But Mina's smile wasn't like that anymore, it didn't fully reach her eyes and was only there for show.

"Yeah, I'll see you then"

Working at the hospital, with kids, was the only thing that brought Jihoon some sort of solace, that made him feel more like himself. Though at times he hardly knew where the line was, between who he was and what people saw him as. Jihoon felt that in the hospital he was who he wanted to be.

Growing up, it was clear to Jihoon that he was going to be a doctor. Whenever someone asked what he wanted to be, his answer was a straightforward doctor. Most people thought that he was simply following his parents' footsteps but that wasn't really what he wanted.

His parents barely had contact with other people. The starting point for their research was people, yes, but to his parents, people were nothing more than data. Whatever they wanted to know could have been found through books and questionnaires, created by them but asked by others.

Jihoon wanted the human contact a hospital doctor had. Maybe it was the way that grew up on his own, without his parents around all that much, or perhaps it was just something that he was born with. And being a pediatrician happened naturally. When thinking about which specialty he should take, the first thing that came to his mind was pediatrics. At first, Jihoon was stiff around kids, not knowing if he should talk to the kids or their parents, or how much strength he should use. Slowly, but surely, he got there.

"Your dad is in the waiting room," the nurse told him.

He was ready to leave, his clothes had been changed and his hair was wet from the shower he took. Jihoon knew that he was supposed to meet with his dad right after work but he didn't think, not once, that he would come into the hospital. His dad was a doctor, yes, but only at the title. The older man hated hospitals to the point he had to be dragged to one when he was sick.

Whatever reason brought Jihoon's dad to the hospital couldn't be a good one.

"Hi Dad," Jihoon said, awkwardly adjusting the bag on his shoulder.

His dad wasn't a man of many words. Even when the man was furiously out of his mind, his words remained calm and very few. That's why Jihoon always thought, as a teenager, that he could get away with anything at all. All he would get from his father was a disapproving look and even more silence. As a grown man, Jihoon understood his actions as a way to get his father's attention, though it was futile because it never worked the way he planned.

"So your mother said no to drinks before dinner but we are in charge of cake pick up, that should give us enough time"

It was so much like his dad, not even saying hi and going straight to the point. For Jihoon, it came as a surprise that his dad wanted to meet and talk. This time the initiative didn't start on his end. For once, his father was the one who started it, a text saying when and where to meet. Curiosity had been eating him alive, his mind bouncing all over the place wondering what was so important and secretive that couldn't be said during dinner in front of his mother and Mina.

The two of them walked to the parking lot in complete silence. To be honest, it was something Jihoon was used to and a moment he found peace in. The soul doctor was a man of books and theory, Jihoon was sure he read every single book on maternity he could get his hands on before he was born and even some after. Words were never his strong suit but he always managed to show his support by being there when the moment mattered. Yes, it was true that his parents missed the day-to-day life, probably didn't see when his second and third tooth fell, and weren't home to help with school projects. That had been his nanny but his first words, first steps, teaching him how to ride a bike, graduations, any speech Jihoon had given, they were there. His mother was the more vocal one, his dad putting a hand on his shoulder and giving him a light squeeze as if saying you did good son.

And those words, even in silent form, meant more than anything else.

"Your mother ordered a cake from the bakery down the block"

Jihoon swallowed his saliva and nodded. His dad didn't have to give more information or directions to the place, he already knew it by heart. Not once had he been there after you told him to leave you alone. If you can't be with me fully then I don't want you at all. Your words hadn't been those but he understood what you meant. What you said had been carefully chosen. Even under those circumstances, you didn't want to hurt him.

After he left your apartment, Jihoon was numb - to say it nicely. During the following week of that morning, he didn't go anywhere except work. Soonyoung didn't say anything about it. When they had a chance to meet, their conversation had been minimal e nothing like the lively chat both of them often engaged in.

It felt weird to be with Soonyoung in silence. His friend had always been talkative, filling the silence with jokes and stories - at times saying the same thing more than once. Soonyoung was disappointed in him, Jihoon was certain of it.

Jihoon didn't complain and just drove there. When he parked in front of the bakery, he didn't get out of the car. The truth was that he couldn't.

"I'll wait here"

His dad didn't fight him, he just got out of the car and went inside. As much as Jihoon tried to stop himself, he couldn't. He knew that he shouldn't but you were right there, and he hadn't seen you in two years. All we wanted to do was look at you, for a brief moment.

And you looked gorgeous.

Your hair was longer than before, your skin had a light tan on your skin - a sign that you had taken part in the street fair a week before -, and your smile was the brightest Jihoon had ever seen on your face. He watched, in pure amazement, as you talked to his father, laughing loudly at something he said.

Suddenly you extended a hand to your left and a second later a man took your fingers in his hold. A weird lump formed in Jihoon's throat, his chest tightened and he felt as if he was short of air. The man snaked an arm around your waist and pulled you closer to his side and you looked up at him like he had rang all of the stars in the sky. As if he was the sole reason why you were on this earth. As if he was your soulmate.

Jihoon didn't expect to be taken over by jealousy, much less like that. He felt like he was ready to combust within his own body. He wanted to get out of there and pull you away from that man.

You had someone and that person wasn't him. He knew that it wasn't his place, he had no right. He was with Mina, he refused to end things with her to be with you so he couldn't expect you to stay on your own.

He couldn't say that it didn't hurt, because it did. A whole lot. And the guy by your side had the same look on his face. If he didn't know any better, Jihoon would have thought that the man was your soulmate, not him.

You said goodbye to his dad, a smile on your face as you handed him a second box.

"Wish her a happy birthday for me!" you shouted from inside.

In the same way that Jihoon hadn't seen you, he also hadn't heard your voice. Back then you didn't talk a whole lot to him but he always heard your voice. When you talked with customers, with Soonyoung and Yumi, when you were on the phone with your brother. Your voice was a sound Jihoon didn't know he needed to hear during his entire life.

The passenger door opened and his father went inside, moving a little awkwardly as he tried to get inside without dropping both boxes on the floor.

"She's such a sweet girl, y/n. Why your dumb ass let her go is beyond me" his father sighed.

The older man's words should have made Jihoon surprised, but they didn't. Of course that if his mother knew, his dad would also know about you. He would have been childish and naive for thinking like that. How they found out who you were, was something yet to be discovered but when his parents wanted to know something they dug deep.

"Dad…"

The soul doctor held a hand up to stop his son from talking. His fingers drummed on the side of the boxes he carried. He wasn't a man of many words, he mostly let his wife do all the talking. Both of them agreed that she was better at it than he was. But he felt the need to talk for once. This time around he wanted his son to hear every word he had to say.

"You're holding onto Mina out of friendship, loyalty, guilt, and love to some extent. When you started your relationship, although we didn't show it the proper way, your mother and I were happy for you. Mina is, somewhat, of a nice girl and you've always been good friends" he sighed, thinking of what he should say carefully "Because of our research, you, as well as many others, were led to believe that it is harder, borderline impossible, to find your soulmate after you turn twenty-five but we were wrong. And you and that girl are the living and breathing proof of it. That girl inside the store, smiling at her boyfriend, is the one for you. She is the one who will complete you in a way that you never even knew you needed.

"We don't know how soulmate bonds are created and why they happened in the first place, but they exist. Something, someone, God, whatever it is, put the two of you together. Jihoon, you deserve that happiness. I'm not saying this because you are my son, because I feel the need to protect you. I'm saying this because you are a good person, someone who devotes his life to helping others."

His father sighed again, looking tired probably for the first time in years. Throughout his childhood and adolescence, Jihoon learned that his father was the kind of person to bury himself in his work until it was finally done - something Jihoon had learned to do, as well. Days would go by without his father going home and when he finally did he didn't look half as tired as this.

"I was never Mina's biggest fan, ever since she was a kid. You know that. I never hid it. She knows that if you don't leave her for your soulmate, you'll always stay by her side. Think about it this way, if the roles were reserved do you think that she would stay by your side? Do you believe that if Mina met Chanwoo now, while she is in a relationship with you, she would let him go to be with you?"

"No" Mina simply said, getting out of the car and slamming the door behind her.

For days, Jihoon thought about his father's words. Hours on end were spent, every single moment that he was by Mina's side. He analyzed every little aspect of their lives, from their childhood until now, when both were grown-ups that lived their own lives despite being a couple.

Jihoon had never given it much thought, how weird their relationship was. Even people that were just friends, that stayed by each other's side out of loyalty - much like Jihoon stayed by Mina's - seemed to have more interaction with one another. They hardly saw each other, once every two or three weeks. Texts and phone calls were barely there, and he was always the one to initiate their "meetings". All of it got even more sparse after you were gone from his life.

For a moment, as soon as Jihoon told Mina about you, she made sure that her presence was known. She wanted to come over to his place almost every day, his phone was flooded with her texts and missed calls. It was hard dodging her. It has gotten to the point where Soonyoung would also receive calls at work and the nurses always approached Jihoon saying that his girlfriend had called. She seemed to be desperate, you should call her back, they kept telling him.

But all of it was just gone the moment Jihoon said that you wanted him out of your life. Thinking back now, truly analyzing it, especially after the conversation he had with his dad - who seemed to know a whole lot more about you than he did - the timing was just perfect. As if Mina was adapting her behavior to your presence in his life.

"Mina, we're talking about this" he tried to reason with her, following her out of the car.

It was stupid, he knew that. Mina was never the kind of person who liked to hear what others said. Her opinion was the only one that mattered. She would, sometimes, hear what Jihoon and Soonyoung had to say but only to entertain them. The final decision was hers and nothing they could do would change that.

"There's nothing to talk about. You want to break up, I said no. That's the end of the conversation"

Was it weird that Jihoon didn't know what Mina did for a living? She probably made a lot of money out of it, considering the place she lived and the kind of car she drove. He couldn't even remember what she graduated in. All he did know was that she was indecisive until the very last second.

He didn't know a lot about her, about who she was as an adult. Sure, he remembered this and that from their teenage years but he was certain that a lot had changed since then. Jihoon didn't have to go very far to see that. The reaction Mina was giving him right that second proved all of that.

"I bet she showed up again. Didn't she? That y/n" she said your name with disdain, as if by saying your name she got nauseous "She showed up again, saying this and that. Trying to get you away from me, I'm sure of it"

Jihoon just shook his head. You had nothing to do with his decision. Breaking up with Mina didn't guarantee anything. You had a boyfriend now. And by the brief moment Jihoon saw you and him together was enough for him to know that the two of you had created a strong bond, maybe even stronger than the one he created with you.

He wouldn't blame you if you chose to stay with him. Jihoon had hurt you, more than he could have possibly imagined. His dad told him things about you - your parents, Jun your high school and college boyfriend. Knowing all of that made him feel even worse about how he left things. He didn't know how his dad had found out all of those things about you, his best guess was Soonyoung, but he trusted every single word that left his dad's mouth

"You say that but I don't believe you for a second. Do you suddenly want to break up? If nothing happened, there's no reason for this"

"Nothing has to happen. I'm just tired of this. This isn't even a friendship. We're strangers to each other. So what's the point of this? We saw each other more often when Chanwoo was alive"

Jihoon saw the change in Mina's eyes the second he said Chanwoo's name. Ever since he passed away it was prohibited to say his name, to bring up anything at all that was related to him in some way or another. He lost count of how many times Soonyoung got yelled at for it.

"You don't get to have a happy ending when you took mine from me," she said between her teeth.

Her eyes shone with tears and anger, her cheeks suddenly turning a bright shade of red that started at the base of her neck.

Ultimately that was where it started and ended.

Jihoon remembered it clearly as if it was happening right in front of his eyes. Chanwoo and him went out like they did every once in a while. Mina had to work late, for whatever reason that night. They went to a bar and talked for a bit. The intention was to meet Soonyoung but he couldn't make it because his mom had called him.

Neither of them drank that night. Chanwoo said that since he still had to meet Mina, he didn't want to. She isn't the biggest fan of tipsy me and I’m driving. Chanwoo did everything in his power to make Mina happy, even things that he considered unnecessary or even wrong in some way or another. They were from very different backgrounds but those differences just vanished the second the bond was made.

The second Mina called Chanwoo, they left. Chanwoo insisted on dropping Jihoon off at home. It wasn't far from the bar they were at and he would have to go through his block to get to Mina anyway. Jihoon sat in the passenger seat and put on his seat belt, Chanwoo didn't. While going through an intersection a car came full speed from the right. By the time Chanwoo noticed it was too late to stop the car but he tried to hit the brakes anyway, which was also a mistake. The car hit the passenger side with full force while another one hit them from the back.

Jihoon then woke up at the hospital, his parents and Soonyoung by his side. For days Mina was nowhere to be seen. No matter how many times he asked about Chanwoo, no one told him anything. His mother kept telling him, focus on your recovery, we'll talk about Chanwoo later.

The silence was what he needed to know that the worst had happened.

The first news he got about Chanwoo was delivered by Mina, who went inside his hospital room screaming at the top of her lungs.

"It should have been you! Why do you get to live when Chanwoo is gone? Why is your life worth more than his?"

Soonyoung was quick to pull her out of the room, but not fast enough that Jihoon wouldn't hear it. His parents looked at each other before his mother took a step forward. Jihoon just shook his head. He understood why they hid it from him but that didn't mean that he had to like or be okay with it.

A week later Jihoon was discharged and the first thing he did was look for Mina. He wanted to apologize, though he knew that he had nothing to be sorry about. He wasn't the one driving any of the cars involved in the accident and yet, he felt the need to.

Unlike the last time, Mina seemed to have calmed down. When Jihoon entered the apartment she and Chanwoo were supposed to share, she didn't scream at him. The second she laid eyes on him, she started to cry. The ugly kind of cry, the one that comes from deep inside and takes over one's entire body.

A year later, Mina started to ask Jihoon to go places with her. Lunch, dinner, the mall, a walk in the park, and then suddenly they were dating.

"That's not true. We both know that"

Their relationship, as it was - or how it was supposed to be - started that like that. With both of them searching for solace in each other. It happened naturally. Neither of them had a soulmate, for entirely different reasons, but they found each other standing at the same spot.

Jihoon shouldn't have been so naive, though. He knew that Mina wasn't one to change her mind once she was set on something. He thought that what she said, all those years back in his hospital room, had been anger-driven and not close to the truth.

"Look at you! You're right here, living your life to the fullest, following your dreams, and becoming who you wanted to be all along. And where is he now?" she pushed away her tears, enraged that she cried in front of Jihoon "So yeah, the way I see it the fact that you even exist is your happy ending"

She walked closer to him then, a vicious smile on her lips. Mina's hand reached for Jihoon's face, a sloppy and careless touch.

"How pathetic you are. Thinking all along that I was ever in love with you. No, honey. I was disgusted every time you touched me, being around you made me sick. I was just making sure that at least one tiny bit of your life was miserable. Y/N doesn't want to have anything to do with you. Did you know that she has a boyfriend? And your parents and best friend are disappointed in you. If you leave me, you'll be completely on your own"

Her words were supposed to hurt him but Jihoon didn't feel anything at all. If anything at all, they freed him.

"Poor companies are worse than loneliness"

You dropped your purse on the couch and went straight to the bathroom. Your hands moved without any sort of thought, just reaching for the soap and throwing it inside the bathtub. The hot water would calm you, there was no mistake in that. It worked before, there was no reason as to why it wouldn't work again.

Just a few minutes to yourself, to allow yourself to think about what happened less than an hour before.

It was all set, you were ready to go home.

You were locking everything down, turning the lights off, making sure that the gas was off. The usual routine. Seungcheol had gone to the car, taking with him the day’s leftovers.

For once, you were looking forward to the weekend. You and Seungcheol made plans, a weekend out of the city somewhere only your boyfriend knew about. It was going to be the first time you stayed away from the bakery for more than a few hours at a time.

Though you were worried, you wouldn't lose a night of sleep over it or call every other hour. Yumi knew what she doing, you hired someone to help her while you were gone and you were sure that Soonyoung would show up when he had a chance. Your store was in good hands.

A weekend away with Seungcheol sounded too good to be true. You had been together for almost a year and not once you had done something like that. To be honest, you hadn't had two days off since college. Someone who owns a business, as small as it was, and who did all the baking couldn't afford to spend a weekend away. Though most of your customers were students and office workers, there was still a fair amount of people there at the weekend.

Your life, you felt, was finally falling into place. Everything was going forward exactly as you had planned years before. Chan was doing fine - he and his soulmate seemed to be working things out - the bakery was steadily growing and you could see yourself expanding sooner rather than later. You had someone you loved with all of your heart by your side. Your friends were happy, sort of.

When you first met Soonyoung you were certain that Yumi could be his soulmate. They were so much alike, though at first glance one wouldn't think so. Soonyoung seemed serious, unreachable even. His doctor persona came out before anything else. But the second you got to know him he became someone else, loud and cheerful. Always ready to make those around him laugh. Yumi was much like that, though she was a bit more aggressive in the way she showed love.

There was no mistake, at least to you, that they were a perfect fit. But suddenly Soonyoung showed up, holding someone's hand tightly saying "This is Dan Oh, my soulmate". What you didn't know was that he had known her for a while, a long one, before introducing you to her. Seungcheol knew too but claimed that it wasn't his place to say anything. You were a little hurt, of course. You felt that he was your friend, part of your family even, but he kept a big secret from you.

It didn't matter how hurt you were, or what you felt. For Yumi, it was so much worse, her hurt was far greater than yours. She was sure that if neither she nor Soonyoung met their soulmate, they would get together. She had feelings for him. When he entered the store with Dan Oh you saw your friend wilt. Yumi looked sad, simply putting it. You started to go to her place almost every day, nursing her through her broken heart.

Having the two of them around each other was somewhat weird. Soonyoung, who was completely unaware of Yumi's feelings for him, now seemed to sense that there was something weird going on. Yumi, on the other hand, did her best to pretend that nothing happened, and tried to make Dan Oh feel welcome in your circle of friends. It's not her fault that she is his soulmate, it's mine for thinking that we could be something more.

You didn't try to fight her, just silently stayed by her side and supported her every decision.

This weekend was supposed to be about you. Forty-eight hours worrying about no one except Seungcheol and yourself. For two days you didn't have to worry about Chan or the bakery. Your life was finally yours to enjoy to the fullest. It seemed too good to be true. And then it became just that.

You were turning the last switch off when the bell about the door rang. Turning around you expected to see Seungcheol. When it was time to close he always rushed you, saying that you didn't need to check the locks three times. This time though, it wasn't Seungcheol. You thought that you would see your boyfriend's tall figure but instead, you saw Jihoon's small one.

No matter how badly you tried, your body just refused to obey your wishes. You should have pushed him out, screamed at him, tell him to never show his face in front of you again. But then there was a line between what you should have done and what you did. You just stood there, eyes on his face, and waited – for what exactly you were unsure of at the time.

You were seeing him for the first time in over two years and your heart was stuck. When you looked at him right at that moment it felt as if you were transported back to the very first time you spoke to him, in his apartment. You couldn’t consider the elevator meeting to be something more than it was. Back then you didn’t know so you couldn’t pretend.

When you talked to Jihoon in his apartment, though you were certain of his inevitable rejection, you thought of it as some sort of beginning. As he stood in front of you, in complete distress, you couldn’t help but think that him being there was some sort of ending.

“Mina and I broke up” was all he said.

The heart beating inside your rib cage stopped and you suddenly didn’t know how to pull air inside your lungs again. The words he said in that instant were the ones you longed to hear during the eight months you were around Jihoon. But hearing them now seemed odd, and not at all what you wanted

“I need to know that because?”

He took a step forward, and at the same time, you took one back. You shouldn’t get anywhere near Jihoon, the further apart you stayed from him the best.

“This is coming too late, I know.”

“You’re right, it is too late” you pushed the off switch and walked past him, forcing him out of the store “What makes you think that you can do this? I was ready to do everything with you. If you said the right word I was going to be by your side no matter what. But you played me the entire time, acted as if my feelings didn’t matter in the least. You made me, and everyone else, believe that you were the center of the universe and I mistreat my feelings and myself. What right did you have to do that?”

It would be a lie to say that you never thought about what you would say if you were to ever see Jihoon again. But thoughts of him were very few and far between. They never followed a constant path and that was why you usually stopped as soon as it started. Days when you thought of him were usually bad ones, in which your mind took you to dark places that weren’t cozy at all to be in. It was when you thought of yourself as someone who wasn’t worthy.

“That was never my intention, you know that”

He looked at you in such a way that it almost seemed as if he was lost. Before, whenever you saw him, you felt that Jihoon had his whole life figured out already. For the first time in three years, it felt as if you were on the right track, certain of yourself, while Jihoon looked like he didn’t know what to do next.

“It might as well have been because that was what happened, that was how I felt whenever you did that shit. But want to know what I finally figured out? That stupid mark that was on your wrist and my back doesn't mean anything, it doesn’t have to. I am my own person and I am happy, in a way I have never been. And you’re not part of that happiness, I don’t want you to be”

If you were allowed to say so, you weren't sure why you were acting like that, why you were feeling that certain way. It honestly didn’t make a lot of sense, not even to you, the person who was having those sorts of feelings.

You were inside the bathroom for hours, your body immersed underwater. There were so many thoughts going around in your mind that you couldn't focus on just one but there was one thing that was a constant amidst the craziness: Seungcheol.

He didn’t turn the lights on like he normally would, even though it was uncomfortable for him to be in the dark like that. He was never one to enjoy the darkness, not through his teenage rebellious years and certainly not as a grown man. But on that specific day, it felt like the most appropriate thing to do.

When he said yes to meeting you, he knew that he was setting himself up for a broken heart, probably the worst one he’s ever had. You weren’t Seungcheol’s first relationship, a topic that came up during your conversations more often than not, making him cringe at all the things he had said – it mostly made him regret the fact that he told you about them at all.

Going through those relationships, Seungcheol was always careful not to grow too attached to any of them. With all of his past relationships, the girls had their marks, and every single one of them was fascinated by his markless body. At his young age, Seungcheol liked it. He thought that it made him more interesting and in a way it did. But it also made him aware of where he stood and where he would always be stuck at.

From the day he was born to the day he died, Seungcheol would remain as the kid who didn’t have a mark.

He used to say that he was lucky, that he didn’t mind it at all, and that to some extent it made him happy that he was born without it. Those words were said out loud so many times that Seungcheol himself started to believe them. And then he met you. Someone who didn’t care in the least, who didn’t ask and made it seem as if it were the most important subject. And he liked that.

Being with you, even if it meant doing simple things such as going for ice cream or staying inside and watching a movie together, made him completely forget soulmates and marks. Neither of you ever made it seem like it was more than it was. Or maybe both of you made it seem like it was less than it truly was.

The life both of you led together was so simple, so ordinary, that was it so easy to lose himself in it. So easy to forget that you weren’t meant for each other, that whoever set up the souls didn’t think that the two of you were the perfect fit.

Living in a society that revolved around soulmates made it impossible for him to ignore it, impossible to wonder why he was the one who didn’t have a mark. It was like someone asking why they worked so hard and still got paid so little. So Seungcheol went ahead and got marks of his own, told people that the blue and red moon on his forearm was his mark. Suddenly he was like everyone else. But he knew, even if no one else did, that it was all a lie.

You never cared about it. When Seungcheol told you about his tattoo you looked at him as if you could understand him, as he wasn’t at all weird for doing that. Whenever you could, whenever you had the chance, when you didn’t even notice what you were doing, you would run the tip of your fingers over his tattoo. You looked at it like it held the answers to all the questions you could ask.

But in one night, a second at a time, the world both of you carefully built, the life you dreamed to have together, came crashing down. It reminded him that together you built a glasshouse, a sandcastle that could be taken down by a wave at any given moment.

He didn’t have to ask to know who was that the man that walked inside the bakery at such a late hour. It was so obvious in the way both of you stood still in the dark store, the tension in the air powerful.

Jihoon.

The wave that could destroy your castle had finally arrived.

Seungcheol was many things in his life, but dumb wasn’t one of them. He didn’t have to ask, a single guess was enough. And when you didn’t say anything it only made matters worse. You were on edge the entire car ride back to your apartment, and didn’t say a single word – the opposite of your normal chatty self. The bags were tossed aside and you hurried towards the bathroom.

At first, he waited for you. Both of you were grownups and serious about each other so whatever it was, you had to talk about it - like you always did. After an hour he threw away that resolution and left. Seungcheol knew just how much of a hard time you had when you had to give someone bad news, how long it took you to build up the courage to do so.

So he left quietly, made sure to lock the door on his way out as silently as he could. Seungcheol wished he had somewhere else to go besides home, someone he could talk to. He knew that he could call Soonyoung or Yumi, a random person at a bar would do the trick too. Instead, he went home, the solitude of his bedroom was the only place he truly wanted to be.

He couldn’t sleep though, not for a few short minutes or the hours following it. It’s over, all of it. Was the only thing he thought about. No other words or memories came to mind, just those five.

“I’m sorry” Seungcheol opened his eyes but didn’t dare to move. A delusion of his mind, he was certain that it was all it was. If he moved the smallest inch then it would vanish into thin air. You would vanish “I know you’re not sleeping. You can’t when we fight. It’s not like we fought really but let’s say it’s the same thing for now”

A smile betrayed his lip. It always happened when you became witty with your words, and called him out on his shit. Instead of getting angrier, he found it amusing, enough to make him forget about what he was angry about just a second before.

“You had to think and you like to do that on your own, so I left”

You left your position by the door and walked across the room, easily taking a seat by his side on the bed. It was so easy, you figured, to be with him. Whenever you were around him, close to Seungcheol, you felt like you were at home. Everything one was supposed to feel when they meet their soulmate, you felt with him. The sweaty hands, the butterflies, the heartbeat increase, the happiness, the giddiness. The feeling of finally being home. All of it.

“I was on my own in the bathroom. Why did you leave?”

Reaching forward you ran your hand through the strands of his hair, something that you had taken a liking ever since you met him. The first time you did it was only to push his hair away from his face and then it just became a habit. You knew that sometimes, especially when you first started your relationship, Seungcheol was surprised when you reached for him, but all of it would suddenly become the other way around when he pulled your hand close to his head.

“You know why”

“No, I don’t. Please, do enlighten me”

You knew exactly what Seungcheol was talking about, he didn't have to say the words out loud. But this time around, even if it was something you had talked about many times before, those words had to be said. Just once, it couldn't be something that was in the air.

Actions matter more than words but sometimes words are necessary.

"Jihoon is back. That means you're going to leave"

The hand that was in his hair ran down to his face, your other hand came up to his face as well. Your thumbs going back and forth over his cheekbones. You intended to make him look at you, even if it was too dark to do so. It was an attempt to make him listen to you.

"I'm not"

Seungcheol nodded in your hands, his own hands going to your waist like they always did when you were by his side. For him, it was a way to keep the memory of you for as long as he could.

"You won't be able to stop yourself. That's okay, honestly. It's the sort of life we live"

"Why are you giving up on me so easily? If you think that I was going to stay with you until the day Jihoon showed up saying that he was finally ready, you're wrong. I didn't know you would think so little of me"

He pulled away from you and sat up, leaning to the side slightly to turn the light on. Seungcheol was still wearing the same clothes he had on when he left your house, down to his jeans. His hair was a mess, caused by your hands just as much as his.

"You know that's not it. It's not like you couldn't make it work with him. There's probably a reason the two of you are soulmates. Who am I to stand between you?"

"The one I chose, that's who you are. You're right, we could have probably made it work. Maybe because it was easy, maybe because we thought that we had to. I wish people would stop telling me what I should do, who I should be with. It has been this way my entire life, since the day I was born, because of that stupid mark. I didn't ask to be born with it and I certainly won't let it rule my life. At least, not anymore"

Maybe in a world where soulmates didn't exist, a time when a deity didn't choose who people should be with, a place where people did truly have their free will, you would be angry at him for not trusting you from the start. As he said, in the world you lived in, you could understand where he was coming from.

You took his hand and placed it over your chest, right above your heart.

"This isn't yours because of a stupid mark, because someone said so. It's yours because I want it to be, because little by little you overtook it and made it home. I love you. Not because someone told me to, but because I want to. Don't ever doubt my feelings again, not even for a second. If they change I'll be the first one to tell you. I'll be honest like I have been from day one with you"

You could see it I'm his eyes, the desperation to believe you but he had been left behind way too many times so it was hard.

"I don't know if I ever loved Jihoon, truly," you said honestly "Meeting him, knowing that he was my soulmate brought me to this place where I felt as if I should. So I made myself picture him in my life. There wasn't a switch, I didn't meet him and was suddenly in love. It was more of an obligation, in a way. But being with him hurt me so much because all I got from him was rejection. He rejected me from the start and I always felt so little next to him"

Seungcheol squeezed your waist, his eyes searching for yours with care and adoration. So much love. You smiled, reaching for his neck, while your thumb traced his jawline, his plump lips.

"And with you… I never questioned my actions, never felt as if I was any less. I always felt like I could truly be myself with you, from that first day at the bakery. My heart skipped a beat when you said hi, when you shook my hand, and smiled at me. You might not believe me, but you had me from that moment"

You moved your hand, back to his hair. You needed him to believe you, needed that frown to leave his beautiful face. There was no version of the world in which you didn't want Seungcheol, where you'd leave him for anyone else.

"Since meeting you, Jihoon has been nothing more than an afterthought. My reaction today was a reflection of who I was while around him and I hate that, I hate that I made you feel like this” you scooted closer to him “You're not my soulmate and I'm not yours either. But I am yours. You're the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with, that I want to have a family with. I have this dream where you're sitting in the bakery, a baby in your arms. Our baby. I am never going to leave you. By your side is the life I envisioned for myself, the life I want. And if our souls truly do live many different lives then I will find you in the next one and I will love you again, choose you again"

Seungcheol's lips were on yours barely half a second after you were done talking. His arms went around your waist, pulling you as close as you could be. Your legs on each side of his thighs. His lips were anxious against yours as if still looking for answers. The warmth of his body was everything you need to feel assured. The way he held onto you, so desperately, was how you felt on the inside.

"Don't give up on me, even if I seem like a lame soap opera character"

You smiled against his neck, your arms circling it as you moved back slightly.

"You're not lame, just a little weird for watching it so fervently"

"A weirdo you like"

You brushed the tip of your finger over his nose and his lips.

"A weirdo I love"

hi! thank you so much for reading, i hope you enjoyed it.

#seventeen imagine #seventeen x reader #seventeen x you #svt x reader #svt imagine #svt x you #jihoon x reader #lee jihoon x reader #woozi x reader #jihoon x you #woozi x you #woozi #seventeen angst #woozi imagines

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