#at least 10 are solely bc im silly for him
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i hope you find some peace of mind in this lifetime🍂
#my art#stardew valley#stardew valley fanart#stardew shane#sdv charlie#sdv shane#shane fanart#fanart#digital art#united in grief lyric#heartstopper leaves hehe#my stardew valley fixation is coming back full force#i have over 100 mods#at least 10 are solely bc im silly for him#i need him to call me a good boy#who said that#do u see how he has patches where his hoodie was ripped in my prev art.. there r a bunch of lil details i put in hehe#im HORRIBLE at backgrounds can u tell
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Based solely on their names, list your characters from favorite to somewhat less favorite
MY OCS?? BASED ON THEIR NAMES??? OK OK
i feel like i should mention that only two of my ocs use their real names sooo it's a lot of aliases or nicknames.
1. Songbird
ngl one of my favorite names ive ever come up with. he's called this bc it was what his (dead) boyfriend used to call him and then when he decided to cut out his own eyes due to being haunted by visions of said boyfriend the scars made the rough shape of a bird. he's embraced the name now and uses his shadow-related abilities to make his own shadow that of a songbird. :)
2. Crook
what can i say? he's a silly goblin that commits crimes. of course he goes by crook.
3. Red
it's a basic name, but i love it. he's the first character that ever got a name and it's not his real name (his real name is at the BOTTOM of this list i hate it) and it's literally just based on the color of his blood lmao. i also like it because it's what everyone calls him just out of instinct. he didn't come up with it, it's just who he is.
4. Ruby
red's sister. her name makes them both sound silly no matter which of his names you refer to him as and i think that's neat.
5. Myrmecobius
i made up fake constellations and then named a big scary bounty hunter after one of them. what more could you want? (bonus points bc his bf (red) loves the stars)
6. Alitta/Indri/Coturnix/Fregata
all of these guys are tied. similar to myr, they're all named after fake constellations and i loved making up the constellations and assigning them meanings that match the character personalities
7. Audrey
the other only character that goes by her real name. it's just a cute name and it suits her! :)
8. Honey
this was a filler name for the longest time and it, unfortunately, stuck. i do really like using pet names as proper names though.
9. Cinnamon
same thing. filler name that unfortunately stuck around. but at least she's friends with honey and they can be Baked Goods together
10. Jayd
red's real name. ew. i hate it. but he came with it and i can't change it
that's all!!! if you ever wanna know anything else about these guys and the show im writing for them, feel free to ask!! i love talking about them :)
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Trapped in a Closet with a Tsundere Werewolf [Enemies to Lovers] | M4A ASMR -- F. This mf has a weird ass werewolf enunciacion thing thats distracting. rawrwolf ass saying shit like "meh". weirdass lore too; teleporting werewolves and beating heart vampires. not very hot just establishing sad gay werewolf lore.
Tending to the Enemy Tsundere Werewolf's Injuries | M4A Audio RP -- C+. still weird enunciation but bro is in PAIN... and we get to put our hand on the wound 😈 puppy bro asks for uppies at the end to sleep on your lap. Adorable but mostly worldbuilding stuff.
7MIH: "Loveless~" A Sensual Kirishima X M!Listener NSFW -- A. bro is whimpering and moaning and Cumming. bro cums like five times in ten minutes its crazy. one of those is a premature ejaculation for fans of that. he DOES use "baby shark" as a pet name though. and say shit like "beauticool" i think ?
[M4A] ASMR Roleplay: Trapped in a Locker (Delinquent X Listener) [NSFW] -- C. Lame writing at this point. Barely any moaning. You dont start in the locker you end up in there. Not even that NSFW.
M4M Villain Makes You Feel Wanted [Fantasy] [Captive] [Manipulation] [Gay] [Comfort] [Yandere] -- F. evil yandere boyfriend manipulating and imprisoning you never has shit like him kicking you in the stomach he just does shit like tenderly brushing and stylibg your hair. or monologuing about your friends abandoning you. too slow burn for me. he doesnt even moan during the kissing. what a sick fuck
Yandere Boyfriends Fight Over You | [MM4A] [Yandere] [BFE] [Banter] [Open End] [Amnesia] -- F but funny as fuck premise. gaslighter "boyfriends" fighting to the death to establish being the sole boyfriend to amnesiac!listener. Poonts deducted bc one of them is called hunter
[M4A] Catching the Eye of the Demon Prince [Strangers to Lovers] [Spicy] [Fantasy] [Human Listener] -- F. well that sure is strangers to lovers in 10 minutes. your ass is going straight to "his harem".
Waking Up Tangled [ASMR Roleplay] [Friends to Lovers] [Morning Voice] [Wholesome] [M4F] [M4A] [M4M] -- F! again! m4[f/a/m] all at once?! this intro music is hilarious. sleepwalking confession offscreen is a silly premise.
TRAPPED in a Closet with your Tsundere BULLY ~ (Enemies to Lovers) [Boyfriend ASMR](M4A) -- D because it's at least Something. this bully act is not half bad, which is a good start. actually great actually. only a tiny bit of moaning if any tho.
Surprise Adoption by a Soft Dom Yandere {Neko Listener} [M4M] -- this understands the fantasy really well. stray neko listener getting taken in and fed and having your wounds cleaned... but this is a men whimpering and moaning playlist so F by that metric :(
really sad turnout on this 10. i could rank on general quality in the future but im starting to think this playlist is just like general romance situations instead of what the title promises :(
men moaning/whimpering playlist rating
Going Rough on your Sub Boyfriend [Boyfriend ASMR] [Whimpering] ("CozyCub ASMR" deleted) -- F. False advertising. No more fucking or being rough.
Petting Your Sub Cat boy [Whimpering] [Bottom Neko] -- B. Not a fan of bitches saying "master" but bros a lil bratty kitt
Dominating your sub boyfriend on his birthday (kisses)[ASMR RP]M4F (official audio) -- D. no domination involved really.
Risky Gorou ASMR| Making Him Whimper From Teasing- NSFW? Gorou x Listener ( Genshin Impact) (excerpt of [NSFW Patreon Exclusive] Risky fun with Gorou behind a building [Bottom] [Blowjob] [Whimpering] [Petting] [NSFW] [Gorou x Listener] ASMR Roleplay 35:56) -- B. aww cute lil puppy boy aww bros EMBARASSED about his puppy taillll
Mommy's good boy -- F. lame whimpers. dont like how he says mommy
Making Your SUBMISSIVE Boyfriend WHIMPER! ⌈NSFW⌋ (official title: [Making Your SUBMISSIVE Boyfriend WHIMPER! ~ [Boyfriend ASMR] [Soft Voice] [Pleading]) -- C-. didnt know if this was gay at first. its fine
Needy Subby Boyfriend Wants Your Attention (ASMR) [M4F] [mommy] [mdlb] [spicy?] [kisses] [needy] -- F. dont like how he says mommy. ""mdlb"" bro talks about going to work out. is lil bro getting ripped. is lil bro getting gains? no. shut up about the gym. talking soft bc roommates are audible too
Ignoring ur subby boyfriend until he breaks (excerpt of Ignoring your subby boyfriend until he breaks (M4A)) -- A. exactly as advertised. fun acting. hes trying soo hard. hes been so good. fuck
100 Tier: "Stuffing The Bird.." A Pleasure Dom Fem!ListenerX Confident To Subby Hawks NSFW HARDCORE (M and NB variants)-- THEYRE BIRDS?? YOURE ACTUALLY BIRDS? kinda awesome B hes being too smug and overacting too fast. Dude are those kissing sounds or am i feeding him a WORM. His guttural breathing is freaking me out dude. mic glitches. ok my bad we're not feeding him worms we're feeding him PUSSYYY!!! + yuup we're tasing your balls bro. id bump up a letter for pain noises but its just too much besides that.
18+ Thoma x Listener| Sub Thoma Moans| Private Meeting At Komore|ASMR Roleplay| Genshin Impact (excerpt of [NSFW Patreon Exclusive] F*cking Thoma at the Teahouse [Bottom Thoma] [Making Him Hold the Moan] [Subby Noises] [Thoma x Listener] ASMR Roleplay 29:06) -- C+. bros still acting well its just no puppyboy and pretty tame.
alright thanks see you tomorrow for tge next ten
PART TWO:
gr#nding against your sleepy boyfriend~ (unknown source) -- D-. doesnt understand anything sexy about the conceit. or maybe at all !
"Couldn't Sleep?" A "Cure" For Restlessness Gojo X M!Listener NSFW (F and NB variants)-- 😥 the bird one was bnha so like is this one is too whos gojo. but same as with the doggy gen-- he just said いただきます. and now a footjob is happening?? bros gagging on whoever "Listener"'s cock is tho. WONT STOP SAYING "THANK YOU FOR THE ME- HE JUST SAID IT AGAIN??? C+ for the continuously impressive voice acting but. well theres wet plapping now. but . the character acting
M4M Annoying sleep boyfriend for cuddles (sleep aid) (official title: M4M Annoying your sleepy boyfriend for cuddles! [ASMR] [BL]) -- bold decision to take on the persona of "annoying". aww no ones gonna hurt you youre with your boYfriEnd. hes not whimpering. D for this list purposes but its fine
M4M Boyfriend holds their little baby boy to sleep (sleep aid) (official title: M4M Boyfriend holds their little baby boy :) [ASMR] [SFW] [LittleSpace]) -- D for no whimpering or moaning. "aww. you havent regressed in a while? do you want to?" "oh i got you some Little stuff. you know for when you're in Little space. wait typing that out made me realize the little in the title was referring to that. anyway its fine this is what i imagine asmrs target audience is anyway
(M4A) ASMR Roleplay: CEO Dominates you (CEO X Listener) [Slight NSFW] (official title: [BAD BOY ASMR] Mafia Boss x Listener. After Shower With Your Yandere Boyfriend!?[Spicy]) -- "[...] cum founder" still slow at 2.5x speed but only 16 minutes long. C-. character work is schlocky stock romance but soo reserved. but i guess theres moaning.
(M4A) ASMR Roleplay: Sadistic Vampire Talks with you (Noble Vampire X Vampire Hunter Listener) [NSFW?] P.2 (official title: [DOM VAMPIRE ASMR] Vampire x Listener. Sadistic Kisses, Delicate Bites!?[Spicy]) -- C shallow world relying on slow brooding but can i just say the description on this one is wild. "- hold on bro is chowing down so ill bump it a lil. anyway "I hope I have the right audio. I haven't listened to the entire thing." bro?? am i the only one here wh
(M4M) ASMR Roleplay: Bully Forces Cuddles on the Bus (Male Bully X Male Underdog Listener) [Mild NSFW] P.2 (original deleted?)-- B this dude is so fucking funny. "whatya listening to. probably some gay shit. *sharp nostril exhale* now be a good little nerd and give me your homework. your lunchmoney too. I WONDER HOW YOU ARE IN BED? YOURE PROBABLY FUCKING GREAT" YESSS. wet gooping sounds happening now with little discernable - oh we're cocksucking this guy ok alright. you put your gay earbuds in and start listening to music at the last 30 seconds. Wow.
Cum in 10 minutes -- F this is binaural beats shit and did NOT cum
Whispering Slurs Asmr -- F. heres an excerpt from the artist's bio: "As a performer, I do not actually agree with anything this anti-social character spews out of his mouth. I will need to be careful what I say because I could be feeding into people’s deeply ingrained prejudices and bigotry. I pray that I do not unintentionally enable a bunch of bad people who resent a changing world."
Taking Care of Your Drunk Boyfriend (unknown source)-- C+. bros whimpering and moaning when he Should be throwing up !!!
PART 3:
alrigt im starting this at 4 am hope i can get fhru this quick NOTE: i didnt
[HOT BULLY ASMR]Bully x Listener. Trapped Together And 7 Minutes In Heaven! [Delinquent,NSFW(?)] -- D. sharp smug mouth inhales after like every sentence. its your first time 🥺 going to someone else's place 😑. its really funny to do a "7 minutes in heaven" scenario with only two people alone in an apartment. "HOT BULLY"? not really bullying at all but apparently im "already biting my lip" so i guess im wrong.
Making Your Boyfriend BEG for it…[SPICY] Boyfriend ASMR [M4M] (official audio)-- B-. sleazy creep type narrator. saying im blueballing him by not fucking right now? holy shit, trying to talk me into not using protection because he doesnt want to get up and go buy more condoms?? toxic as fuck bro...
"Fuck Me Now." A Villain/Mastermind Kenma X Male NSFW (F and NB variants) -- B. there was an alternative female AND "NB" version and the script is mostly the same. "suck my dick while you ride my thigh" good idea! but um i dont think. that works.
(M4M) ASMR Roleplay: Bully Dominates you with Kisses (Male Bully X Male Underdog Listener) [Mild NSFW] P.1 (original deleted?) -- B+ on technicality for no whimpering. bros actually getting vicious with this one. the part 2 was mostly goofy but. like. wow.
ASMR Audio Roleplay - You Challenge Your Dom Friend [M4M] [Friends With Benefits] [Spicy] Pt 1 (official title: You're A Good Boy To Your Dom Friend [M4M] [Friends With Benefits] [Spicy]) -- fuck the criteria. B-. the writing here is impressive. like dudes got natural conversation and character work down so well. and hes funny?? ok hes like a reddit edgelord shithead but hes got jokes. no moaning or whining though!
[M4M] [NSFW] Flirty Dragon Desires You [Part 2] -- can you please fucking speak up dragon i cant hear you over all the bugs. B its corny as fuck but bros moaning and maybe a hint of whimpering.
Subby boyfriend whimpers & begs for "attention" (Spicy boyfriend ASMR | Deep voice | M4A) -- he's whiompering and moaning and also fucking ANNOYING!!!!!!! C this guy Pisses me off. "im gonna cry if i dont get [your attention and pussy]" then CRY!!!!!!!!! "that makes me so squirmy" its all ok now tho bc hes in pain
[REUPLOAD] Daddy Detective NSFW M4M (OP deleted) -- ACAB. F. sadly i was hoping it was freelance.
ASMR [M4M] Your Bored Barista Tries To Kill Some Time With You -- F. bored? check. bro sings "im like a bird" in the quietest voice possible. lmao. no moaning or whining! but its fine
ASMR Audio Roleplay - [M4M] Locker Room Secrets ft. Liquid_Madnezz & cee_ [Kisses] [Spicy] [College] (excerpt?) -- A. POV: YOU'RE the bully?? obnoxious ass opening. also. whatever happened to the navy seals co[pypasta. POV: you crush mad pussy? this i think is the same guy as the dom friend one and dude kinda has writing chops because he paints such a pained but conflicted pairing. i empathize a lil with bro in this. theres whining in this but like, not the sex kind. and there IS moaning. lowkey toxic protagonist!
see u 2morrow for the next ten!
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Ahhh Milky I hope you're having a good last week! It's unfortunate you can't do more during your last week but I'm sure packing is very time consuming and saying good bye is so important! I hope your flight home goes smoothly too btw!! When I studied abroad I had a layover in turkey which took me in the wrong direction from getting back home so it ended up being like a 12 hour flight home when it could've been 8 😭 it wasn't very fun 😭 I'm sure it'll be really long coming home all the way from Korea. I hope you're able to sleep well or stay entertained~
I have exciting news! Or well it isn't that exciting but I've really started learning Korean now! I was doing it very casually earlier, but now I've installed the Korean keyboard and I'm trying to write little mini letters to Kingdom all in my own Korean! I used to solely use a translator even for short messages bc I couldn't spell or anything 😭 but I'm taking my duolingo more seriously and I'm actually making a lot of progress! I was able to tell Kingdom that I love them and introduce myself but I also did more complex things (at least imo LOL) like say their songs are cool~ I felt so proud of myself hehe one of the members who speaks English cheered my message where I told him I was going to write out a short message to him in Korean and then I did it and I'm just 🥰 Dann is our polyglot king so for him to cheer me on (literally) was so special. This might be a silly question, but what was your favorite word/phrase that you learned while in Korea??? Like it made you feel cool to know it or you were proud of yourself for learning it. I wanna feel cool too hehe 😎 Milky는 멋있습니다 😎
And now, comments on the smau 🤩 why is no one commenting on sunwoo's destroyed can??? 😭😭 It was just in there and everyone was like yep nothing to see here LOL but I mean it is fair that reader not liking rapunzel is a CRIME that's one of my favorites 😭😭😭 and like YES I'm biased bc she has a reptile but STILL I uwu over her and Flynn's romance so like.. I love it. Also reader calling Younghoon a hag LOL I love that they are Savage 🤩 also Eric is so funny like "I'm just covering my arms so you won't fall for me" ITS TRUE THO??? Eric is unofficially my bias wrecker with sunwoo (idk why I say unofficially like.. They always have my attention when watching mvs jfjdsj) and I WOULD fall in love with him don't test me 😭 I'm excited for changmin to come into things~ it'll be so cute, I know it!! And pls slow burn is the best 😭 I'm sooooo excited 🤩 you're going to make my heart yearn for love I just know it jdjsj
Oh and Im glad seeing treasure was so fun!! I'm sure it was heartbreaking to see only 10 of them up there :(( I'm just glad they were still glowing and full of energy for you 🥰 I hope your sunburn is doing better by the way!! I'm sure it is by now since it's been a while since you responded, but I hope it wasn't too painful for the first few days! I haven't gotten a sunburn in ages thankfully but all that does is attest to me never going outside LOL what songs did they perform?? Do you have any pictures?? I'd love to see them 🤩
Sending you lots of love!! Here's a Stalin pic for you hehe he crawled into my banana flavored candle (we call it the banandle) and did a "banana split" LOL he smelled like banana after I took him out lol he's so silly~ love you!
okay tumblr. pls dont delete my reply to my bestie's ask this time. there i'm manifesting that it won't be deleted >:O i was so mad it has taken me days to come back and reply T-T
but even though i was a bit busy packing during my last week, i still had a lot of fun and squeezed a few things in ! also,,,, the universe just aligned and i ended up getting accepted for kard's comeback showcase, which was 3 days before my flight,, and again by luck i was front row! kard are actually my ults and finally meeting them after 6 years and their 2 year hiatus meant to world to me T-T and then each member gave a polaroid away to someone in the crowd and i received Jseph's T--T so insane..
but layovers are confusing and the worst ㅎㅁㅎ that's why i feel so lucky we found a flight without one! so even if it was long and rough, we at least were not so confused <3
waHHH you're learning korean?! i'm so proud T-T learning a language takes a lot, especially when the country you live in doesn't speak it, and i'm especially touched that kingdom have become a motivation for you to learn this new language :")
ah! rather than learning any big cool phrases, i found learning smaller things like how to greet a restaurant owner or store worker goodbye cool. ah but!! i find it interesting that to ask if someone has eaten, you say have you eaten rice? (밥을 먹었어요?) rather than have you eaten food? (음식을 먹었어요?) because rice is such an important part of the korean diet that rice is the equivalent of food and vice versa :D
p.s. Kelsey 씨도 멋있어용~
omg the smau :(( i wanna say thank you for always commenting on it even though it's so messy and slow aH i appreciate you saying you like the slow though!! now that Changmin has finally been introduced officially, i wonder what you'll think :O
seeing treasure as 10 was so good definitely!!!! even though Mashidam were gone, the rest of them did so well <33 and you're so sweet ahh the sunburn healed quickly !
(i figured out why tumblr deleted my reply to your ask--the treasure festival photos didn't save to the ask properly and it ruined everything T-T so imma just direct message them to you hehe)
STALIN IS SO CUTE AND TINY IN THAT CANDLE I COULD CRY!! also omg i love banana scent/flavouring 🥺 so i just know i would live the banandle (i love the name) as much as Stalin hehe,,
i love you and Stalin so much and hope you have a good weekend!! ♡
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20 memories & isms I love about you.
1. He sent me flowers at work. Twice 🥰
2. He left work to help me fix my tire, outside my ex’s house. Never drove on a highway before that day. (no I shouldn’t have dated the guy, but that particular Gemini is the asc degree of our composite chart, he’s the reason we ever met at all, and hubby is the reason we broke up so...lesson learned)
3. He made me eat his mom’s food. Not only that but excitedly. He’d be like “mom is making hot spaghetti and you’re gonna come over and have some”...I’d say no thx 20 times but he wasn’t hearing it. Hot spaghetti day. I felt weird having someone’s mom cook for me. She probably felt weird too tbh, but he was so over the top happy about mom, food, and me, that it didn’t seem to matter and worked out fine 😆
4. He’s so forward, and bold as hell. I’m irritatingly shy and very guarded. Literally the only way he got me was because he’d act before I could really even think about it or think myself out of it. Winners mind.
5. He moved me into his moms house. I was not ok. Not not not. My pride is...well it exists, and burns like fire whenever help is given. I will never ask in all my life and idc, feels better that way. Will gladly die first. My rotors were broken though (I could write a book just about car problems fr), I needed two and it was gonna take awhile. I’d be in the city and he’d be way out there. He’s like nah. You stay. He insisted...and I stayed. Staying was not a me thing, he changed that.
6. He gave me a baby. After all of the years I didn’t have periods, needed pills to have a normal body, all of the times I talked myself out of that sort of life altogether because I clearly didn’t have the guy (ex was not a kid guy) or the working body parts to even do that, must not be for me. First time in our new apartment, boom baby.
7. First time in our slightly bigger and nicer apartment, boom baby 2. We started actually using protection after she was born. Clearly we can.
8. He worked stupidly long hours and put up with so many people that just had no fn clue, it put a strain on everything, most of all him. When he got the offer for Indy, I pushed it. And pushed it. And pushed. May as well have pushed him right out the door, we were going, because those people suck and you’ll never get the chance to be seen while you’re doing that glorified delivery guy’s job for him. We’re going. So, we did, and he got me out of this damn state. At least once.
9. He loved getting lost with me, and it was my favorite thing. Indiana is a beautiful state and I encourage anyone to get lost there, on purpose.
10. I forgot work. He caused some serious change. Everyone else lost their job, including hubby’s favorite person ever, Jonathan. Today he’s the sole survivor of a mom and pop shop, and I’m so unbelievably proud of him. The best part though, is two of the guys from work used to come see me at my new work all the time, with all their bar bitches 😆 They were my favorite people, I was always so excited to see them. Hubby tried to get them back on, and did for one of them. And when the bigger boss needed a new smaller boss bc hubby was leaving the state, hubby fought like hell for Jonathan. Like Highlander, there can only be one *sksksksksksk* They looked at a couple and hubs was like no only Jon knows the ways of the force. They hired him back, Jon has sent him some of the sweetest thank you messages...it changed his life, and hubs still loves him very much. It’s adorable.
11. Screamy baby Shmoo, she was a screamy baby, and so very beautiful. Baby Bam was like a dream, she was the perfect baby in every way. My screamy baby Shmoo was also a perfect baby, with a pitch that could break glass and sometimes she just wanted to practice for hours. Usually I got her to bed with mama snuggles & milk, singing Alison Krauss and rocking. Sometimes though, on the roughest nights, it’d be over an hour before I’d open the door with screamy baby still in a fit, and he’d take her. He’s so warm and calm, he’d win every single time, and I’d be like...zzzzz tysm ily tyty zzzz....
12. His jokes. He’s not funny (yes he is don’t tell him). He thinks he’s funny. He jokes all day every day about everything always. The girls know when dad says something to be skeptical bc he said they gotta go outside and till the land with tiny shovels, and when I roll my eyes they know he’s full of it. What’s funnier, his mom was the kind of person that took things literally always. Every time him and his goofy dad were being sarcastic, I’d have to tell her that because they’d have her believing crazy stuff. My kids share a lot of her isms, that’s one. My son absolutely does not joke, he is quite literal (so far), and I always have to scold hubby or tell lil guy nooooo he’s kidding. I don’t talk about his silliness nearly enough and I should, that’s him ❤️
13. His relationship with his mom. His mom was always on the...I wouldn’t say weaker side, but older, regular pain, on disability. He was her BABY. Her eyes lit up like Christmas when he entered the room. She loves him so so much. His sister... You know the kind, or...just imagine, probably close. He hated it. He got his job pretty young and just kept it. Always had money, always offered to help his mom, always was like IM FINE MOM. She just wanted to do for him, and he’s always been the kind of guy that wants to do for himself. And she was so funny, she’d slip $20 into the diaper bag and tell me “don’t tell him”, putting it on me. So we’d get in the car. And I’d be like there’s $20 in the diaper bag, knowing he’s gonna be pissed if he finds it (she needs it). And he’d get it, run into the house, set it on her table, and run out the door while she ran after him hollering protests 😆 Lots of other stories too. I miss her so much, I can’t even imagine how much he must.
14. His relationship with his sister, and other whirlwind people. He’s like a rock. I’ve spent lots of time with his sister, but not at once. The one day I did, I came home and my brain was so full of her bazillion ideas and impulsive let’s do this and just one thing, opposite thing, different subject, back to the subject, hey let’s do this, omg I have an idea. I love her to death but I had to sit and just...dump my brain. Ask myself for my own input bc I’d lost wtf...what were we doing again?!? Him though? Doesn’t miss a beat. No...no...no...I’ll think about it...no...no..change subject. No issue saying no. Back then I was like thank god, girl would have me on a cruise to Aruba tomorrow with costume jewelry and black face before I could even think to protest. Not him.
15. Making up. The difference between Taurus moon and Sag moon is that Taurus moon stays mad for the rest of their lives (hello...) and Sag moon wakes up in the morning like nothing happened in the history of ever. This was something that irritated me THE MOST. Don’t make me laugh, I’m pissed at you. Over the years, it became the only way we’d talk at all sometimes. Is certainly the only reason we made up, countless times. He never stopped trying to make me smile, even if I wanted nothing to do with it.
16. Acts of Service. Is not mine, which is either words time or touch and I really can’t decide which. All. He speaks a whole other language. He will let me nap, or take the kids somewhere, he will spontaneously clean or go grocery shopping, walk the dog, mow the lawn, hang out at the birthday party. It didn’t start right away, more and more as he learned my isms. He’ll make me coffee as I’m coming down the stairs. I rarely have to ever ask for any practical thing. He knows my orders for anything, recently there’s been twice that he literally read my mind before I spoke. I try to do the same for him as much as I can, because I know that’s his language and I really appreciate him.
17. Bedroom games. The man knows my body like a map, no, an Excel spreadsheet 😭, and how to get every reaction he’s looking for. He is the only man to ever satisfy my insatiable ass. He made me a whole new person in that regard. He says the same about me. Never an issue there. It’s this far down the list cuz it’s not the most important, but it’s pretty important too so there that is.
18. We share the same goals. We judge the same way, like why did they wrap this like that it looks sketchy. We parent the same. We decide the same. We critically think and weigh ideas the same. We walk the same line in the same direction. If anything he’s too negative sometimes, but that’s his own personal thing. Can’t be full of Capricorn and not lean more toward pessimism (not “realism”) sometimes I think. If it’s worth it, I’ll try to coax him to middle ground. Sometimes it’s a battle, but only if I’m really sure. Usually, he’s right, so I just let him lead.
19. When I was pregnant with my son. Initially. It was hell. His car was trashed, mine was broken and thousands of dollars to fix (this particular car in this particular year has this and what a coincidence it was particularly my problem...cars, I’m telling ya). I was two feet out the door with his shit, but his sister’s issues led to my heart. Because her kids. I love them very much, of course they can stay here and not with some strange person hell no. I cannot describe how angry I was at him. HE strapped backpacks onto his back and walked to the nearest store. Hauled so much crap in a huge backpack and just his arms. Over the course of two months. He quit drinking. He went above and beyond to do get offer or provide anything I could even imagine. More romantic then I think I’d ever seen him before. At least...it had been some time anyway. Of course...he was lying to me. The whole time. To what extent idk. Regarding the work shit, idk. Thus the question and the dream and the crazy and the...crazy 😞 Wanted to piss me off boy he got that tenfold. His actions during this time period are 💯 why I stayed. He was clearly trying like hell to prove to me he could try, and it’s more than anyone I’ve ever known has even bothered to “bother” with. I was impressed, and proud. Respect counts for a lot more than love sometimes, and at the time I respected him.
20. He’s an amazing father. There are so many stories I couldn’t possibly write them all. Our son though, he chose daddy, right from the start. Nothing like our daughters, nor any kid I’d known. He’d scream, FOR his dad. He’d only sleep on his shoulder. Hubby held this baby for hours on end. If he didn’t baby would demand it, but it was very natural to them both. Baby wanted a bottle, and hubby to give it to him. It blew my mind. Hubby got his little teammate and together they’ve changed my life and perspective in ways I couldn’t have ever imagined.
I’ve spent so long sporadically venting on here that I don’t think I’ve ever posted the sweet things. So many great memories and daily...everything...are missing, so many years and little moments. That would take forever. Its always been my frustrations, which was the purpose. This is my heart. No matter what happens, all of these things will always be true.
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