#at first it was a random angry side profile and then it turned into wuxia beatrice
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#TKO_art 25#got so angry then spiral'd into an existential crisis#still in that crisis but if i don't think about it then i wont think about how nothing matters oh god its 2 late#at first it was a random angry side profile and then it turned into wuxia beatrice#which i'm not sure if that's a good thing or not and i think this looks too cringe so i'm not gonna look at this anymore#i just wanted to draw bea with an undercut#this reminded me of the time i actually wanted to draw beatrice in that wuxia style at the very beginning of my art journey#core memory unlocked#anyway i'll probably revist this sometime later#again bc their clothing is nice#i'm kinda annoyed because i didn't look up any refs for this and this looks pretty much like beatrice and i know when i go to work on#[redacted] it's gonna be a fucking pain#but also lets not discredit the fact that i was looking at beatrice refs for 3 hours before a small break and then this#sometimes i forget how much i love art#my existential crisis was making me doubt if doing art really is worth anything while i was sketching angrily#and really it was just me falling down a pit of oh this is what my next days will look like working on art to just be disappointed by the#end result that i forgot that it's a journey thing but most importantly u have to trust the process#but i also forgot making art is a slower type of gratification + serotonnin#i guess the thing is i'm waiting for the shoe to drop: burnout stage of art#where i do not want to touch art for years#and it's kinda because i push myself to do art like i'm going to die very soon that i'm worried about it#but also at the same time hmmmm idk bc seeing art is just so inspiring and makes me jealous that i kickstart myself into doing it#what are we talking about anyway blah blah blah
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