#astrology cancer gemini virgo silentlybreaking

[hellosamantha182]

Contradiction

It’s late. It’s 2:44am but I took my ritalin too late this morning and it’s keeping me awake.

We humans love to categorize other humans into labels in order to understand them better. I myself practice this daily, to known friends or strangers. I can look at someone and think, “That’s a Slytherin.” or talk to them and think, “They are a Stark.” I do this with everything that has somewhat of a standard personality. Like acids or bases. It’s a chemistry thing. But I always ask other chemist which one they prefer, the one that donates the hydrogen or the one that accepts the hydrogen. Do you like giving or receiving. You see, when I start placing people into these categories I’m able to understand their morals, their character, their values. Especially if I could catch multiple answers. Not only that, but I can relate to them, pick a topic we both have in common and indulge. 

So astrology has always fascinated me. Again placing people in categories to be further evaluated. Except, people are born into their sign, they don’t have a choice. They can’t pick Gryffindor, Abnegation, Erudite. Yea I get it, some people don’t “act” like their designated sign. This is all coming from my own personal experience with myself. And how typical of a Cancer I am and how I’ve tried to cope with my qualities.

I’m broken down three different ways. My sun sign is Cancer, my rising is  Gemini, and my moon is Virgo. 

I relate to being a Cancer the most, this is my core and my fundamental being. Water sign. We feel. Everything every time. We are very emotional and caring. We love making deep connections with people and cherish our families. We are the mothers of the group, constantly making sure everyone is okay and having a good time. We are ambitious because we want to better our families. We require security everywhere. Whether if it’s in a relationship, job occupation, or lifestyle. We need to feel safe. We love alone time. We love living in our shell where it’s comfortable and familiar. Cancer’s are also known to be very naked. Meaning they express themselves without much thought. Kinda like a child, whenever they feel the need to do or say something they act. We are just comfortable in our own shoes and do what we feel. The worst and best thing about being a cancer is our fucking feelings. Omg they could drive you insane. We feel soo much. We live in the past. We our cancers to ourselves. It’s hard barring such a big heart. Every time I meet another cancer I instantly connect with them. Because they understand me. And I them. And I often feel bad for them barring the same curse. Constantly wanting to please. To care. To love. Without asking anything in return. 

When most people meet me, they think I’m outgoing, approachable, magnetic, and confident. This is thanks to my gemini side. My gemini side is how I express myself outwardly to strangers. Air signs are known to be intelligent,  rational, and thinkers. Plus gemini’s are known to be sociable. They are the party people. This is my fun side, the side people see. The side that allows me to fuck without strings. My gemini rising protects my cancer. Hiding how vulnerable I can become.

Since cancers are all about emotions, it’s important to understand them. My moon is a virgo, earth sign. The moon represents emotions in the astrology world. Virgo’s are known to be analytical, critical, and logical. It’s weird. When I feel, my virgo side attacks my emotions. It beats my uncontrollable sensations by neutralizing them. It’s strange to be a cancer with a virgo moon. Because although I’m emotional, there is logic to every aspect. I constantly talk myself out of scenarios. My virgo side is what keeps me cautious and suspicious. So I feel a lot but I’m able to control my feelings. For the most part. Until my cancer side wins.

My cancer and my virgo side are tearing me apart. I sometimes want to do something because it “feels” right. But my virgo side is constantly playing out multiple scenarios and what is most logical to pursue. Sometimes my cancer side wins and if there is a negative outcome I constantly am beating myself up for it. My virgo side critics my own actions. When I’m having a mental breakdown, my virgo side calms me. Rationalizes why this is happening and what turn of events need to happened in order to prevent this in the future. 

It’s important to understand yourself as much as you can. So you know how to maximize your potential and your abilities. I feel robotic at times due to my virgo side. Even though my cancer side wants to love someone, my virgo will pick at each potential mate. If there is a massive deal breaker, my virgo side forces me to let go. Yet I could still like them. But eventually I’ll stop due to lack of interaction.

When my cancer side wins, I can’t pull my emotions out and all I could do is watch myself be illogical. I hate it when that happens. It makes me angry. Like the threshold of my virgo walls were exceeded and now there is no turning back. My virgo and my gemini side just watch the cancer in me fall apart. It’s like I can’t even see them anymore. Until time passes by. And I heal. And then we are all reunited.