#astigmatizm gang rise up etcetc

[bitegore]

[id: a chart that is labeled "Transitioning from violent language to ultraviolent language." It has two columns, formatted as "instead of this, say this". The "instead of this" column has the phrases being replaced bolded in red, and the replacements are bolded in green.

Instead of "We're going to pull the trigger", say this: "We're launching all missiles"

Instead of "I'll take a stab at [it]", say this: "I'll take several stabs at [it]"

Instead of "Did we jump the gun?", say this: "Did we dodge the bullet?"

Instead of "I'll bite the bullet", say this: "I'll bite the bullet til it screams"

Instead of "That'll kill two birds with one stone", say this: "That'll murder two birds with one stone"

Instead of "What's the deadline", say this: "When does the kill switch trigger?"

Instead of "We have to pick our battles", say this: "We have to pick our war crimes"

Instead of "Can you shoot me an email?", say this: "Can you full auto me an email?"

Instead of "That was overkill", say this: "That was megadeath overkill"

Instead of "I bombed the presentation", say this: "I carpet bombed the presentation"

Instead of "Let's just roll with the punches", say this: "Let's just launch a full-frontal assault"

Instead of "We can soften the blow by....", say this: "We can not get our asses kicked so hard by...."

Instead of "I'm going to take a shot in the dark", say this: "I'm going to empty a magazine in the dark"

Instead of "That's not a bad idea", say this: "That's a kick-ass idea"

Instead of "Let's not beat a dead horse", say this: "Let's not beat a dead horse when we can beat a live one"

Instead of "I was blown away by her presentation", say this: "I was murdered on the spot by her presentation"

Instead of "I was kicking around an idea", say this: "I was roundhouse kicking an idea"

Instead of "He's a straight shooter in meetings", say this: "He's a laser-guided smart bomb in meetings"

end id]