#astarion is still very much in his head and just performing so he doesnt have to think about the Horrors | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

bhaalsdeepbat · 7 months ago

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Tfw a scene hits you with such force and clarity, it's absolutely like a religious vision

When Astarion gets up in the middle of the night to handle the twins so they will be quiet and let Mercy sleep, Mercy sneaks off to the undercity ruins. Theyre gone for hours hunting any Bhaalists who are trying to maintain the ruins, slaughtering the Bhaalists, and then going to the altar to yell directly at Bhaal, only to be met with silence. Mercy screaming that he couldn't take anything else from them. They'd make damn sure of it. Just never saying "You took everything you wanted from me, but you cannot have the twins." And it's a threat. One that isn't answered.

Then returning to a fretting Astarion (bc they're both still unlearning their codependency)

#bat rambles #durge and astarion are still working through toxic habits after the tadpoles are dealt with #they're both codependent and until this point havent had to be separated #or even like exist in a way that wasnt together #Mercy’s his emotional support person #and mercy is a guard dog who needs a job and their job is protecting Astarion so no one can get close #while he shoots an arrow through their throat #but now mercy also is feeling protective of the twins #not even maternal projectiveness or anything #they just can see who they were in the twins and if they got a chance #even with them spilling so much blood their body remembers what their mind cannot #mercy got a second chance and theyre going to extend that to the kids #it's just complicated and scary #astarion is still very much in his head and just performing so he doesnt have to think about the Horrors #he's just playing 5D short-term chess but he doesnt think of the twins as people yet #at best theyre like disgusting little gnolls #tolerating bc he can see Mercy isnt rejecting them #and mercy is like preparing for him to be like. this is NOT what i want #even tho he's absolutely thinking to himself it's barely a blip in his immortal life span #the time needed to rear the kids enough to be self sufficient and independent is nothing #but mercy will NOT ask him to stay they would never ask him to do something they think he may not wanna do #but bc no communication he's very confused about why they're so fucking angry at him all of a sudden #bc theyre pushing him away #their act 1 relationship was v much defined by communication issues by two people who dont know who they are #never love an anchor

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