#asked my boyfriend what naruto character i was most like and he honestly said orochimaru...

[sup-hoes-its-me]

Golden III (Kakashi x Reader)

A/N: Hi guys! Thank you so much for keeping up with this story. Here is the final part, I hope you enjoy! 

Word count: 4500

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Kakashi could safely say that he and Y/N had become friends over the following months, right after he decided to let her back into his life. They went to eat at restaurants together, and he spent time reading in her bookstore when he wasn’t off on a mission. After his missions, she was there waiting in her storefront waiting for him, regardless how dirty and worn down he was, she would hug him tight to her chest and thank him for coming back home safe. 

Things almost felt normal between them; the affection felt so good. Sometimes, he felt like he could just melt away at the soft touch of her fingers against his skin. They weren’t exactly the same as before, her hugs and touches here and there, but it was good enough for him. If anything, they were more than good enough, he longed for them.

The pair had more time together than ever, with her dreams coming in surplus as the time passed, more and more little things popping up each night. Any time he was home in his apartment, she would run over that evening to jump into his bed and tell him the latest information she had in her dreams. 

He always explained things the best he could, and she listened so intently, repeating certain things so she could remember them easier. It was a little difficult for her to process so much information at one time, and she often forgot things he taught her, but he never got frustrated. Whenever she would mess up, she’d just smile and ask him to please explain it again and he would, making sure to emphasize the important parts. It felt like they had all the time in the world together when in their little bubble. 

It was so soothing. He found himself slipping back in love with her so deeply, each day they had together only furthering the inevitable. It didn’t scare him as much anymore, the thought of falling for her again. Whether she got her memories back or not, she was still the same woman he knew before, he knew that now. She laughed at her own jokes and rambled on about books in her store. She giggled at inappropriate jokes like a little kid, and doodled flowers and animals in her notebooks. She wore her same old ink and coffee stained aprons as before, tied into a big bow along her waist. 

She was still his baby, and he was coming to terms with that. He welcomed her back into his life happily, and she matched the gesture.

Once again, she sat in his bed, her legs crossed in front of her and a notebook in her hands. For her sake, she started keeping a dream journal in which she wrote down every single dream she could remember and brought them to Kakashi to either learn more about or dismiss as just a regular nonsense dream. She flipped through the pages covered in her handwriting and doodles before coming to a stop on the most recent night’s visions.

“In this dream last night, I saw a huge man with white hair, like he was ginormous. He was in my store for some reason, looking at those books that you have on your shelf,” she told him, pointing at his favorite series of all. “He had on a lot of fishnets on his legs and arms, too, if that helps any. Do you know him?”

He nodded. “The book series is call Icha Icha and it’s a masterpiece. The man you saw is named Jiraiya, and he is the author of the series.” She corrected that in her notebook, and took down what the real information was. Writing some of the memories and facts down only helped to reinforce them in her head. “More importantly, he is also one of the Legendary Sannin. He trained with Lady Tsunade and Orochimaru.”

“Ohhhh, wow, okay. Every ninja has so much history in this village. It’s fun connecting the dots with you, Kakashi,” she told him, “It’s like we’re reading from a story book.”

“The ways of the five great nations and the shinobi are definitely interesting. Some terrible things happen, and some amazing ones do as well. Makes for some unique people.” 

Secretly, he was glad she liked to sit with him and go over all her memories, organizing and learning. She always wanted to know more and more, and each day she seemed to be growing slowly into a person he could call familiar. The way her eyes lit up at his stories, and her showing him little doodles in her notebook that she just couldn’t put into words: he loved being such a big part of her life. It always felt like she was so close to tipping over the edge, all that potential for her memories to come rushing back in at once. 

They never did, but she got so close so many times.

He still didn’t know what he was going to do if she did remember him again. He loved her, yes, but he had already made up his mind to distance himself enough that their relationship wasn’t intimate like before. He wanted her to be safe, that’s all he wanted. He couldn’t imagine another accident like this one ruining her life a second time

And so, he smiled and laughed with her. He let her give him hugs, but not too many. He struggled to control himself at times, to not let go and give her his everything like before. He kept his distance, but at least he could feel her warmth in the same room now. He knew a relationship would only lead to more pain, but they could be friends. Just friends. So long as he could make her happy even for a little while.

He noticed she had flipped the page to the next entry, and suddenly, she was fiddling with the edges of the paper, staring down at the words intently. “Is something wrong?”

She shook her head to snap out of her thoughts, raising her eyes to meet his. She was smiling, as usual, but he could tell it was fake. The sadness was creeping up her cheeks and showing in her eyes, the way they had lost their shine. “Yeah, um, this page is just nonsense, No use talking about it.”

“I’m sure it’s not. Any dream you have probably means something.”

She shook her head, swallowing down what she actually meant to say. “It’s just not something we need to talk about.”

“Ah,” he exhaled, his eyes taking in her disposition, an obvious change in the way she held herself. She’d lowered her eyes, and stroked the edge of her book, a tremor in her wrist. “It’s fine, Y/N. Whatever is good for you.” He wasn’t going to push. He was just here to give her knowledge and a friend during this rough patch. He wasn’t going to divulge in emotions that she obviously wanted to keep to herself. 

She scanned the next page for a more recent dream, but the last page had changed her tone. He sighed, nudging her thigh with his foot. “Let’s stop for today. I’m off tomorrow, you can come back when you’re feeling better.”

The woman nodded and brushed back a bit of loose hair that had come undone during their time together. She was just about ready to leave the apartment and head back to her own place. As she shut the book in her lap, she snuck another peek at his face, only to eyes with no words. As usual. He was always more into observing than speaking, and she was fine with that. She was more than talkative enough to fill the empty space. 

He just liked listening to her voice, seeing the way her lips moved. He wished she would stay for longer, continue talking to him and filling the empty place in his heart. 

“You’re probably right,” she mumbled. But he was not unaware of the way her lip quivered with each syllable falling from her lips. Nor did he miss the tears that had gathered at her waterline, that she kept from falling. It made him confused, the way he felt. He didn’t want her to get too close to him, but the thought of letting her leave his apartment about to burst into tears made him feel like shit. Recently, he was beginning to feel like one of the shittiest people alive.

He shifted from his spot lounging in the bed to reach out and grab onto her wrist, keeping her from leaving her seat just yet. “Y/N, tell me what’s wrong? You don’t have to pretend you’re not upset when you're around me, you know that right?”

“I-I know, but it’s just...I don’t know what to do. I don’t know if I want to keep coming to see you like this, Kakashi,” she whimpered, pulling her wrist from his hold, as he wasn’t holding with any strength. “I don’t even want to talk to you anymore.” 

He felt a tug in his chest from fear. He never expected to hear those words from her. Not with her like this and not before either. He thought they got along. He was really trying to make things easier for her. He wanted to go back and fix whatever he had done so she would want him again. He felt sick, knowing she didn’t need him now, or even want him.

“What do you mean?” he asked calmly, despite the storm brewing in his chest. 

She turned away from him, squeezing her eyes shut to keep the tears from overflowing. They dripped into her lap and stained her work skirt. She had to bite her lip to keep her herself from crying out, so sad it burned in her chest right above her heart. Minutes passed of her harsh breaths and his eyes trailed on her weak figure, lips just ajar. He wanted to apologize, to tell her he was sorry for whatever he had done, sorry for everything possible. He wanted to wrap her up in his arms and promise that he would never let anything happen to her ever again.

But he would never do that. She wouldn’t let him. Not with the way things were.

Eventually, she found the breath to speak. “I keep having more and more dreams about you. About us. I just can’t keep coming here and acting like none of that stuff ever happened, Kakashi, and that’s what you want me to do.”

“Y/N-”

“On that page that I skipped, I had a dream written down, and it was one of the longest memories I’ve had so far. I just can’t stop thinking about it,” she cried, furiously bringing the heels of her palms up to her eyes and wiping away the bitter tears from her eyes that stung when she blinked. “We were younger, and you were holding me. We were sitting on a bench by some trees and there was rain falling and I just remember crying so hard, I just couldn’t stop crying. I remember the pain in my chest and the way my lungs burned struggling for air.”

He nodded, and he felt like he knew what memory she was recalling, but he would let her finish. She continued to cry into her hands, her arms shaking as they curled into her body. She lifted her legs to the edge of the bed and wrapped her arms around them, hugging anything she could to her quivering form. 

“And-And, you were just hugging me and I remember feeling so comfortable in your arms, like that is where I was supposed to be all the time. I loved you, Kakashi. I loved you so much, and I could feel it, this warmth in my chest that made me know things would be okay. That whatever was going on would resolve itself,” she confessed, “And then, you...you kissed me. I-I couldn’t tell if it was the first time, but I remember how special it was to me. I remember not wanting it to be over. 

“I keep getting back my memories, and it’s making me fall in love with you all over again. And I know that you don’t want to be in a relationship with me anymore. It just hurts. I think maybe if I could just get away from you it wouldn’t be so bad. I feel so stupid telling you how I feel- how those memories with you felt,” Y/N explained, wiping more soppy wet tears away. She could tell her eyes were puffy and red at this point from crying so much, and that just made her feel worse on top of everything else. “Kakashi, I’m just so sorry for doing this to you.”

“Damn, I’m an asshole,” the man cursed, pressing his face into the crook of his arm, shame pouring off his skin in waves. “Stop saying sorry for something you can’t help. You’ve literally never done a single thing wrong in your entire life. Just stop that.”

“Kakashi-”

“Y/N, I’m still so in love with you. I just couldn’t give up on you, even if you being with me means you’re constantly in danger of an attack like the one that happened months ago, I just can’t let you go,” he told her, exasperation heavy in his voice. He was just so tired with everything. He was tired of these emotions. It never used to be like this, long before he met her. He was cold and hard, and she turned him into the softie, perverted ninja that he was. After all this time, he was only a human like everyone else. He had these selfish desires like everyone else. “I just miss you, baby.”

She felt her heart race at the term of endearment, at the sweet words he said, at the declaration of love. Even though she didn’t know everything about him, and there were so many bits and pieces missing from her mind, she still cared about him. She still felt her heart beat just a little faster when he was around. She cared about him. After everything that happened, she still loved him. 

“I need you in my life, Y/N. I know things have changed, but it’s the truth. I’ve gotten too used to you being around, I don’t know if I’d be able to do it without you.”

Yes, he was rough around the edges, everyone is. But to her, he was already perfect. She didn’t need to know everything because it didn’t matter. He was charming, thoughtful, and equal parts humorous. He made her eyes light up with joy and her knees weak. He was the type of man she could only dream of being with, and here they were, confessing their love for the second time. 

“Kakashi?”

“Hm?”

“Can I kiss you?”

“Please.”

She crawled up to where he sat against the wall, mask still up over his nose as usual. Carefully, with hesitation in her shaky hands, she reached to pull down the cloth. His unmasked face had appeared in her dreams on more than one occasion so it wasn’t like this was the first time he was revealing himself to her. Still, she felt like this was a moment she should savor. 

She pulled down the mask, and his face was just as handsome as she imagined. She let her hands rest on his cheeks, thumbs running over his cheekbones, and he relaxed into her touch. Softly, she pressed her lips to his, and a cozy warmth filled her entire being. This is what she was missing out on. Absolutely tragic.

When she pulled away, all she could see was a dopey smile across his lips and starry eyes peering down at her. “I missed that, Y/N.”

“I missed it too,” she breathed out, so intoxicated by the kiss she could barely think. It wasn’t anything serious just a peck on the lips but to her, it meant the entire world.

Maybe she would never recover every single memory she had. Maybe things would stay the way they are. That would be okay with her, so long as they had each other to lean on. He could tell her all his stories another time, just so she could understand, but the love would always be there. 

_________

A few months passed before she found herself waking up in the morning, thoughts rushing through her head quickly, heavily in her mind. Memories of her friends and family, the village, each little piece of trivia she had been missing out on consuming her thoughts. She placed a hand over her eyes and groaned, a headache pounding in the back of her skull, despite her joy that more of the holes had been filled in her mind.

Y/N leaned over onto her side, propped up on her elbow. On her bedside table lay a few pain pills and a glass of water, something she kept there regularly. The intense dreams often brought on pain in the mornings, as if she’d been drinking all night long. After a bit of the pain subsided, she would head down to her bookstore and get ready for a day's work, like usual. Just because she went through trauma did not mean she could slack off. Time is money as they say, and books would always be selling in this bustling village.

She stood from the bed and threw on one of her plain brown dresses, complete with a once baby pink apron, now stained beyond belief with things she just could not scrub out with a brush, heavy black ink and wine and coffee. Money was tight, and she wasn’t just going to go out and buy herself new clothes, when these were perfectly wearable.

As she walked around her home, she straightened her hair just enough to look decent and heated up a kettle of boiling water on the stove, a couple bags of black coffee steeping inside. The caffeine would only further remedy her headache, she sighed, pouring herself a cup for the morning. 

Downstairs, her bookstore waited for her, lights off and shelves properly stocked and readied from the night before. Kakashi had been over helping her clean up and put up her latest shipment. He was more serious about alphabetical order than she was, and she found it hilarious when he would switch around two books she misplaced. She flipped on the register, turned the open sign and switched the lights on, ready for a few stray customers to walk in, usually the older people who woke up at this time of day.

Hours passed, and villagers visited one after the other, asking her for suggestions and help on where to find something that they were looking for. It was relaxing, and all the while she continued to sip her coffee, feeling her headache completely melt away.

It was around noon when she was greeted with one of her friends. That young girl Sakura who helped heal her while she was in the hospital. Y/N remembered a lot of things about her at this point down to her hopeless crush on a rogue ninja and her tiniest insecurities that she’d once confided in her. It was nice to have a girl to talk to. The village girls came by now and then, and she enjoyed their company as well, but there was something about these individualistic, unique shinobi that just drew her in.

She loved this village. It was her home, and she loved everyone within it. 

“Y/N, wanna go get some lunch with me? It’ll only be an hour and it’s on me,” she asked cheerily, and Y/N couldn’t deny such a nice request. After all, having her meal paid for would probably mean more money than sitting around in her shop. She shut off the lights, flipped the sign and locked the door. 

“Where do you want to go? Pick any place.”

Wow. Y/N was getting the special treatment today, it seemed. Free lunch of her choice wherever she wanted. There wasn’t a price limit either. She felt like she was on top of the world. “Wanna go get dango?”

“If that’s what you want, Y/N-chan.”

She nodded eagerly. “Yes, please. I’ve been craving something sweet. You know Kakashi isn’t the biggest fan, so we don’t go too much.” 

“Of course. I’ve been craving some anmitsu myself.”

The pair walked over to the sweet dumpling store and sat around for just about an hour, as Sakura said, munching on their red bean and sugar syrup desserts, just talking about anything and everything going on. Sakura was getting closer to finding Sasuke and bringing him home, and she was honing her medical ninjutsu even more. She was quite versatile with her strength and desire to care for others. Y/N really admired the girl. 

She was the other side of the coin opposed to Y/N’s moments of weakness. It wasn’t like she was jealous, she was just amazed at the sheer talent. Kakashi, Yamato, Naruto, Sakura, all so talented. It was amazing. Pride bubbled up in her chest for her friends.

“Y/N, how’s it been with Kakashi?”

The woman snapped out of her thoughts and peered back up at the pink haired kunoichi, twirling a wooden skewer in her fingers. “It’s been great. He really is a wonderful man. Intelligent, charming, romantic, helpful. Everything you could want, really.”

“I see. Well, I’m really happy you guys could work through what happened, even if you didn’t get all your memories back,” Sakura hummed happily, finishing the last bite of agar on her plate. 

Y/N sighed, a dreamy smile on her face. She placed her cheek in her palm and trailed her eyes down to the table again. “I don’t think it really ever mattered whether I got my memories back or not. I’m still the girl he fell in love with and he’s the man I spent all those years chasing after. He can tell me everything over again, but really, it was our personalities that drew us together.”

Sakura smiled, feeling her heart turn to mush at the thought of such a deep love. She stood from the table and waved for Y/N to follow her. There was just one more place they had to go before she could go back to work. “Follow me. I have to show you something.”

Y/N followed as she normally did. Secretly, she liked hanging out with Sakura and skipping work. The store was tiresome and often boring when customers were few far and inbetween. It was refreshing to get lunch with a friend and waste sunlight together. She had a lot of free time anyway. Kakashi wasn’t going to be around for the next few days. He’d informed her yesterday that he had a mission for 2 days in the next village over. 

And apparently, he was going with the two boys from Team Eight…

Then how come Y/N just saw them walking down the street with that Hyuga girl?

Plans must have changed, Y/N thought to herself. Maybe he went with some other chunin for this one, she decided and continued to follow her friend through the streets of the village. They passed by store  after store and walked through alleyways on the way to wherever they were going. 

Sakura walked slowly enough that Y/N could keep up. Some tendons never healed themselves, and she walked with a sort of limp, but nothing hurt. With all this walking, Y/N was suspecting that Sakura must have something big to show her. They eventually ended up walking through the woods a bit to end up at the training grounds, the one with the huge waterfall that crashed loudly in her ears. 

Birds were chirping and bees buzzed around by her feet. She turned around to see Sakura standing there with her hands clasped in front of her, just a tiny bit of red dusting her cheeks. “Sakura, what did you want to show me?”

“Y/N.” A voice called from behind, and she turned back to the waterfall to see Kakashi walking up with his hands shoved deep in his pockets. Her brows raised and her head fell to the side in confusion.

“Kakashi, I thought you were supposed to be on a mission. I-I saw those two boys walking around the village and thought you went with someone else.”

“I kinda lied about the mission. I just needed to prepare something.”

“Ah, okay. So what is this about?”

He stood in front of her now, merely a couple feet away. “I know that these past few months have been really hard for you,” he began, taking a second to think of the next words he was about to say. Y/N could only stare up at him in wonder. This entire situation was out of the ordinary for sure. “I didn’t think we could work through our issues, and I didn’t know if it was right for us to even be together knowing what my curse had done to you.”

“Kakashi, it’s okay.”

“Y/N, these past few years have been some of the best of my entire life. I never thought that I would be able to find comfort in someone as beautiful and kind as you. I thought I was destined to be alone forever because of the things I had done. But then I found you.”

He pulled one of his hands from his pocket, and held out a little brown bag to her, urging for her to take it. 

When she opened the pouch and tipped it into her hand, a shiny ring fell into her soft palm. She felt her heartbeat race in her chest, and she pressed her free hand to her chest to steady herself. “Kakashi...”

He shifted his weight onto one foot, his lips cracking into the smallest of smiles. 

“What do you say? You and me, making memories for the rest of our lives? Ones you'll always remember?” he asked softly, staring down at the woman he had come to love more than anything else in this entire world. 

She lifted her hand from her chest to take the ring and slide it on her finger, staring at it on her hand and watching the gemstone glimmer and change color with the sunlight. It was so gorgeous and bright, it shined like the sun sat on her finger. The thought of Kakashi picking this out for her made the ring even prettier. 

It was perfect. Everything was perfect.

Tears filled her eyes at his words, and she could only nod, no words coming to her head that made any sense. All she could feel was love burning through her body and happiness threatening to overflow. She threw her arms around his neck and threw herself against him, laughter sounding from her lips. He wrapped her up in his arms and let her cry into his shoulder, sobs and giggles mixing together.

Yeah, maybe he had to wait a few more months than he wanted to, but that never mattered; they had all the time in the world. 

Their love was special. Their love was golden.