#asked if he was ok taking out the paper recycling downstairs and he was like yea ill do that

[nature-played-a-trick-on-me]

Manifesting that the bf will move out on his own soon so he can stop being a massive nuisance whenever he is at my place. Yes it is messy yes I have serious issues at the moment. There is nothing mouldy, the trash has been taken out, laundry collected, dishes all in the kitchen.

[halowastaken]

Why I Left (Chapter 10.)

read on ao3

Summary:

“What about his card? You gave him a card when you gave him the internship right?” Pepper asked typing something in her laptop “He converted all of it to cash in the atm in the museum downstairs and then threw it in the recycling bin right next to said atm. At this point this the spider is just making fun of me” Tony said frustrated “It is tuesday. I can go check if he attended to school” Happy said on his phone “Nope. I already did. Been doing it for the whole two weeks we’ve been looking” Pepper said and Tony was honestly shocked that it has been so long. He looks around and there are coffee mugs everywhere, random papers and tablets where they are not supposed to be, every screen in the room had to do with Peter’s search ---

“Kid, how are you doing?” Tony said while working in the suit update

“Good actually. The new webb formula is looking great!” Peter says with a smile while mixing some stuff that Tony didn’t get. He didn’t need to though

“That’s cool Peter. When you are done with that, I need you to fix the code in the Ironman suit that connects it to the arc reactor” Tony is expecting an answer from Peter, but when he doesn’t he turns around to find a really hesitant Peter “What is it?”

“I don’t really know how to code” Peter says stuttering

“You hacked your suit” Tony said confused

“No. I asked my friend to hack it for me. I have cero clue how coding works” Peter says and Tony sighs

“Ok then. You are in for a treat today, because I am gonna teach you how to code. Call it coding 101 with Tony Stark” Peter’s eyes widened and he starts smiling

“That’s awesome Mr. Stark! Thank you so much! I promise I will pay attention to do whatever you teach me perfectly!” Peter said really excited

“I know you will. First thing you need to know about coding is the ‘three u`s’ rule. Undetectable, Unbreakable and Unexpected. Ever since I started coding, these three rules are my secret to always get to what I want” Tony says. Peter raises an eyebrow giving away that he has no idea what Tony is talking about “Ok so, when your friend hacked my suit, I had ho idea that the suit was hacked at first. That’s the first U. Undetectable. Also I am not gonna lie to you, when you gave the suit back I did try to put the training wheels protocol back on, but I couldn’t. Unbreakable. And lastly, you are the last person I think of that would hack a million dollar suit. Unexpected” Peter wanted to argue back about the last point, but he decided not to. “Now, go grab your laptop, cause we are coding today” Tony said and Peter with a smile ran to the other side of the lab to grab his laptop

------

“I’m so sorry it took me so long. The elevator was malfunctioning but I am-” Pepper was looking to her phone while talking, and when she looked up she was...concerned “You are sticked to the floor”

“I am fully aware of that. In Peter’s desk there should be a bottle with the level ‘unsticky spray’. Can you reach it please?” Pepper was confused. She still did what she was told, but that didn’t answer questions. Tony did seem off. Last time she saw him off was right before Germany, but that didn’t last long because Peter started to be part of their lives around that time. But Peter wasn’t there. It was weird considering that she told Tony to not let him out.

“Where is Peter?” She asked. She shouldn’t have asked that. Tony looked like his world was vanishing

“He ran away Pepper” Pepper was confused now but she let Tony talk “Something is going on with that kid Pepper. He’s in trouble. I can just feel it. I need to track him and make sure he is ok” Tony says, really worried. Pepper wanted to argue but instead she just nodded

“What do you need me to do?” Pepper asks and then Tony stands up

“Call Rhodey. Tell him that I need him here and right now. I am finding my kid.

And then he starts. He pulls up the coding in the hologram screen. The kid did really well because at first sight it looked like he did nothing but little did Tony know that was just the beginning of one of the biggest hacks he’s ever seen.

Undetectable

“Tony” It’s been seven hours since Peter left. Tony hasn’t gone out of the lab since Peter left. He refuses to leave until he finds his kid “Tony, Rhodey is gonna be here tomorrow morning”

“Pepper I love you but if you are here to ask me to take a break I hate to break it to you” Tony says without stopping working

“Actually, I am here to tell you that I am going to look for him” Tony raises an eyebrow and turns around to look at her “If he left without being noticed, he would at least use the Spiderman suit. He must be out in the streets somewhere. If not I’ll go to his department to look for him there, I’ll also call his friends to see if they know where he could be, and all of that stuff” Tony was surprised, in fact. His wife never encouraged him to stay all night in the lab “Don’t look at me like that. He is my kid too. You are not the only one that is gonna stay up all night today” Then Pepper left the lab.

Well that was new. Tony was a hundred percent sure Pepper would just tell him to go get some sleep. Tony then just kept trying to break the code. What he didn’t know is that it was gonna take him a while. He tried literally everything that he could think of and none of it worked. He was Tony Stark for god’s sake. Tony fucking Stark was being outsmarted by the same sixteen year old that he spent time with. But he needed to keep trying. For Peter. For his kid.

“You look like you visited hell” Tony then looked over his shoulder and scoffed

“I’ve looked worse” Tony says and Rhodey shakes his head

“So, Pepper mentioned about the spider kid and his aunt but we didn’t really get into the details so I would like to know why am I here?” Rhodey says looking at Tony’s screen

“Peter is in a lot of trouble and I don’t even know where he is. All connections were cut and I’ve been trying to find any kind of connection with him since yesterday but I am losing my mind” Tony says without taking his eyes out of the screen

“Have you tried locating the ip address of his phone or the suit?” Rhodey asks 

“Yup. Also, do you think you can try to find something on Ben Parker? For some reason I have the feeling that he has something to do with all of this. Called him a few days ago and the man was not in a good mood” Tony explains which makes Rhodey doubt about this

“You think that the kid’s uncle killed his aunt or something?” Rhodey asks

“Nah. The police report says that the guy that killed May hasn’t been found, which by the way I also have to look into that guy” Tony says thinking out loud

“So the kid hacked FRI? Is it bad?” Rhodey asks looking at Tony’s screen 

“He knew what he was doing. This is advanced level shit. Almost unbreakable” Tony says remembering the first time he teached Peter how to code. The kid learned every single bit that Tony teached him. 

“Have you tried looking in the news for spiderman? Even the smallest thing could help. Even if it is just some girl posting in her stories a picture of him or something like that” Rhodey said grabbing a tablet

“I already did it but do that again just to see if there is anything new. Just know that if I have to reunite the Avengers to find him, I'll even get Thor to visit midgard” Tony said confidently. He was sure that he was gonna find his kid. Or even better, he was sure that his kid was in danger. That terrified Tony. and fear is the greatest motivator. After a couple hours they called in Happy to go question his friends (“Keep it legal Happy! Can’t handle looking for a kid and a lawsuit at the same time!”). Pepper came back with no luck. But that wouldn't make them give up. They will find out what happened.

---

“What about his card? You gave him a card when you gave him the internship right?” Pepper asked typing something in her laptop

“He converted all of it to cash in the atm in the museum downstairs and then threw it in the recycling bin right next to said atm. At this point this the spider is just making fun of me” Tony said frustrated

“It is tuesday. I can go check if he attended to school” Happy said on his phone

“Nope. I already did. Been doing it for the whole two weeks we’ve been looking” Pepper said and Tony was honestly shocked that it has been so long. He looks around and there are coffee mugs everywhere, random papers and tablets where they are not supposed to be, every screen in the room had to do with Peter’s search

“Well, this can’t be right” Rhodey said out loud, catching everyone’s attention. “The first thing I did was look into mister uncle dearest and got nothing. I left it alone but now I decided to double check and there is an ip address. Ben’s phone” Tony then took a look into Rhodey’s tablet and he was right. He was surprised actually. He could tell that Peter was so precise and careful with all of his personal info, and everyone else that could have a connection with him. He forgot his uncle. 

“This is-” Tony made a pause to think of something to say that properly describes the situation

“Unexpected” FRIDAY said and Tony raised his eyebrow

“Yeah” Tony said and then he started looking into Ben’s phone. He was connected to the same wifi connection as Peter’s laptop and phone. That’s where they had to be. He finally looked into the address. Peter’s department

“That can’t be. Last time I was there, it was empty. No lights or sound” Pepper said and Tony got up his chair

“I am gonna go check this time. Something tells me we got him. Rhodey, you drive. Pepper, stay here in case something happens, and Happy, go get his favorite stuff for when we get back here” Tony said determined. 

He is on his way.

[revisitingstoneybrook]

#8 Boy-Crazy Stacey: Chapter 11

Stacey throws herself a pity party, Mary Anne’s not amused and Byron Pike is a magical child who fixes everything.

Now we have a postcard from Mary Anne to Dawn. And she spends most of it venting about Stacey. She tells Dawn that Stacey's still being a pain in the neck but she kind of feels bad for her, because she saw Scott kissing another girl. And Mary Anne's getting in touch with her wild side I guess, because she's thinking of buying another bikini from this store called If the Suit Fits, which is where Stacey got her's. Richard won't mind because he'll still be zonked out from the pot party to end all pot parties Sharon's throwing while the kids are gone.

After signing the postcard, Mary Anne throws in a PS and a PPS. The PS tells Dawn that *gasp* Stacey's been dying her hair! Bad girl! The PPS instructs Dawn to "Destroy this card in California!" Which looks incredibly funny, considering it's something so crazy to write and it's in Mary Anne's loopy script. And I don't think Dawn would take too kindly to destroying a card made out of paper, Mary Anne. That's spitting on the grave of the tree killed to make that postcard! She should have said "Recycle this card in California!" or "Burn this card, then scatter the ashes in the ocean in California!" At least that way, it won't rot away in a landfill somewhere.

Anyway, the morning after Stacey sees Scott kissing a girl who's more beautiful and has better boobs than she does, she's all mopey and sad and decides she can't show her face at the beach. After breakfast, she fakes a headache and tells Dee she doesn't want to go. Miraculously, the Pike parents are actually going with the Pike Army to the beach for like the third time since arriving in Sea City. I guess they remembered this is supposed to be a family vacation. At least this means Mary Anne won't be stuck watching the kids all by herself. Dee, completely oblivious to the drama happening between the girls, tells Stacey that's fine.

Mary Anne, on the other hand, is not too happy. While they're in their room later, she finally grows a spine (for the first time in this book) and confronts Stacey, instead of brooding about it or venting to Kristy or Dawn in a postcard. Mary Anne calls Stacey out and tells her she can see right through her bullshit:

“Thanks for sticking me with all the kids again. You know, last night you dragged me around to about a billion stores looking for a present for Scott. Then when you saw him with that girl, you practically blamed ME. You are so rude. The least you could do is apologize.”

Wow, Mary Anne! You get a gold star!

And some applause!

Stacey offers up a feeble apology, but Mary Anne isn't done yet, bitch! “If you actually had a headache, well, that would be one thing, but it's Scott isn't it?” Mary Anne shakes her head when Stacey admits that it is indeed Scott and now it's Stacey's turn to be mad. She apologized, dammit! Isn't that enough for Mary Anne? Geez! Stacey doesn't get why Mary Anne is still pissed off and reminds her that the boy mother's helper will probably be around, so she'll have help anyway.

But Stacey? He's got his own kids to watch, it isn't HIS job to help Mary Anne, he's just doing something nice because he sees she's got her hands full with eight kids. You're the one getting paid to do that and for the entire trip, you've blown off your responsibilities to go flirt with a lifeguard and feed him with the Pikes' food and sodas, leaving Mary Anne to cover for your ass. Mary Anne has every right to be mad at you.

Mary Anne informs Stacey his name is Alex, and Stacey responds by saying he looks like such a nerd. Did I mention Stacey is a BITCH in this book? She hasn't even met him! Mary Anne says he isn't a nerd, he's funny and nice, and as far as I'm concerned, he's a saint for constantly helping her out when Stacey abandons her. Before Mary Anne can start to chew her out again, Stacey asks, "Who are those kids, anyway?"

Mary Anne says their names are Kenny, Jimmy, and Ellie, and Alex is indeed a mother's helper and DON'T CHANGE THE SUBJECT STACEY! Stacey plays dumb about it and Mary Anne is about ready to do this now:

Once again, Mary Anne informs Stacey that she's made her do all the work so far and Stacey, being so high on herself, denies it. With that, Mary Anne storms downstairs and Stacey chases after her, still apologizing. You're still too little and too late, Stacey! Mary Anne awesomely ignores Stacey and tells the Pike kids to follow her, as their parents beat them to the beach. Yeah, I'm sure they got an early start to make some bacon on the beach and I don’t mean the kind Homer is thinking about:

So yeah, Stacey stays at home and as the kids are leaving, Byron decides he wants to stay at home too, saying he wants to rest. Maybe it's all the eating he apparently does that's making him so tired! Stacey has him go tell Mary Anne and when he returns, he asks if they can go for a walk. Stacey says yes, then remembering she's supposed to have a "headache," says they should go somewhere quiet. Nice save. She leaves a note for everyone else and follows Byron.

They end up on the bay side of Sea City, where the water is much calmer. And Byron goes right in the water. Turns out he was just afraid of the big waves. See, girls? He wasn't afraid of swimming, just the ocean. Byron probably noticed they were freaking out over him not swimming, so he took Stacey over here to shut her up. I'm sure he wouldn't want all the BSC members discussing him in minute detail at their next meeting.

Stacey encourages him to go out further in the water and tells him it's ok to be afraid of things a little. Because if you aren't afraid, you might take dangerous chances. But if you're TOO afraid, then you'll probably miss out on a lot of fun.

Byron and the calm water in the bay ends up calming Stacey down to the point where she decides she can go to the beach, she just has to avoid Scott. And I guess Byron is some kind of magical child because Stacey does a lot of thinking and realizes she was wrong the whole time about Scott and Mary Anne was right. He didn't LUV her, he just thought of her as a friend (*cracks up* Yeah, keep deluding yourself, McGill). And he really was too old for her. Stacey feels like an idiot for thinking her LUVed her, when they never kissed, or held hands, or went out on a date. But she decides she doesn't hate him, because he was nice to her and they "had fun.” Fetching him sodas and listening to him call you Princess is having fun? Um, ok. And he gave her his whistle!

She's still upset that Scott's probably already forgotten about her and wouldn't care if she avoided him because the next girl in line will just step up. I don't get it...is she happy she's had this epiphany or is she upset that he was a douchebag who led her on? Or both?

After lunch, Byron says he's ready to go to the beach, so Stacey brings him. And since the BSC loves comparing themselves and their issues to the ones their clients are having, Stacey says they're both scared but determined. As they arrive, the lifeguards switch shifts and Scott's part of the group that's leaving. Whew. Ok, and now Stacey says she doesn't know whether to be happy or upset.

Byron immediately goes into the (knee-deep) water with Adam and Jordan and I guess that's good enough for them. Stacey sees them and reflects on how much she's missed the kids too, since she had been spending all her time hanging around Scott. Spoken like a true BSC member. All her revelations are just coming one after the other here! Coming one after the other...I'm sure the Pikes are familiar with that, if you know what I mean.

[cyi-can-you-imagine]

Starved (chapter 20)

Chapter 20 – John

Black eyes stared through him. Dean was still in the chair. Bobby and Rufus were completely engrossed in their reading. Sam did not stir. He remained still on the bed. Just his eyes looked at Dean. Sam’s mouth whispered “Mine.” The smile that Sam gave was more of a smirk. Sam never smiled that way, Dean thought.

Sam blinked. The blackness was gone and he suddenly looked terrified. “Dean?” He scrambled to sit up and knocked all the papers on his lap onto the floor.  Bobby and Rufus jumped at the movement.

“Dean! It’s dad. He’s…” he looked toward Bobby. “He’s here.” Sam‘s eyes were filled with despair.

“He’s where, Sam?” asked Rufus gently.

Sam turned back to Dean with sad eyes and his hand slowly went up and tapped his temple. “Here.”  

***

Calming Sam was the first priority, so Rufus ran downstairs to make more special tea for Sam. Bobby helped Dean move out of the chair, which he was finally able to do moments after Sam sat up.

“I feel him Dean. Like he’s holding on to me. He’s trying to say things to me. I think I can hear him now.”

Dean grabbed Sam’s shoulders. “You block him out Sam, ok?  Fight him. Don’t let him in!” “Yeah ok, Dean. I’ll try.” But Sam was panicked. He started to hyperventilate when Rufus brought in the tea.  He drank it quickly.

***

Thirty minutes later, back downstairs, Dean questioned Rufus. “What you gave me certainly game me dreams, why won’t Sam dream? How can you be sure?”

“Slightly different recipe.” Rufus took a small book out of his pocket and placed in on the table. “That one assures no dreams. So I’m pretty sure Sam’s safe from John.”

“Pretty sure?” that wasn’t good enough for Dean.

“For now, at least,” said Bobby, his head in his hands.

Dean just paced the floor, his hands clenching and unclenching into fists.

***

Bobby and Rufus kept arguing.

“It’s irrevocable, Bobby, it says so right –“

“Shut up Rufus”, said Bobby. “We’ll fuckin’ fix this.” They did not look at each other.

Dean just kept pacing. He walked past the small book three times before he decided to pocket it.

***

Upstairs, Sam did dream. He dreamed of locking his dad away in a faraway cell. He soared over mountains, like an eagle, with John in his talons. Below him were castles and swamps and soon, empty desert. He dropped John in a small concrete cell before returning to Dean. His talons turned to human legs once more and he walked toward his brother, his arms outstretched. His dad was now out of reach, tucked away in the furthest recess of his mind, and could not reach him here. Not now, anyway.

He waited for Dean….

Sam looked around. Ah, the beach. Yes, the same one he shared with Dean in the last dream. This was good. This was ok.  He looked around for his brother. Dean wasn’t there though. It quickly got cold and dark, and Sam kept walking. But wherever he walked, it was always the beach. He couldn’t get away from it. The sun rose. Ahead of him was the beach. Empty, warm sand between his toes…endless, endless sand. Sam stopped and sat in the sand, tears in his eyes. “How am I gonna get out of all this?” He blinked, and saw an outstretched hand in front of him. He looked up into beautiful green eyes.

“Dean! I knew you’d come!”

Dean pulled Sam up and cupped his face with his hands. “Beautiful,” said Dean.

Dean’s hands trailed down Sam’s arm, fingers touching whisper lightly. Sam’s breath was shaky. Goosebumps prickled up all over his arms as his brother’s lips pressed warm and wet on his neck. He tilted his head to the side, giving Dean more access.

“Dean,” he groaned softly. It felt like it had been years, not hours since his brother had touched him like this.

“Shh, I got you.” Dean said in Sam’s ear.  His hands reached up and twisted in Sam’s hair, pulling gently. Sam moaned.

His lips trailed down Sam’s neck to his chest. Their fingers intertwined, grasping tightly. Dean raised up again, pressing his lips to Sam’s. He pushed his tongue forward and Sam opened up for him, savoring the taste.

“Dean,” he said again. This came out as a low moan, and Dean smiled into Sam’s mouth.

Dean’s hand slid down over Sam’s stomach, to the button on Sam’s jeans, popping it open slowly, sliding his hand down, never breaking away from the kiss. It was slow and sweet and heavy, and neither of them could break away. His hand slipped into Sam’s jeans, and Sam moaned again.

“Sammy, you are so fucking beautiful,” Dean said, finally pulling away and looking into his brother’s eyes.

Sam let go of Dean’s lips with a whimper. He looked into those beautiful green eyes until he was overcome, and his eyes rolled into the back of his head.

”That’s my boy,” Dean breathed as Sam squirmed under his brother’s touch.

Without warning, Dean’s hand grabbed Sam’s arm. “Sa-!” Dean’s voice cut off with a strangled sound.

Sam looked up to see his father standing right where Dean had been. Dean was gone and John held him tightly by his throat.

“Nice try, Sammy. But there were too many cracks in the walls of that cell. I was able to break out quickly.

And now, I have returned to you. Did you miss me?” But Sam only gasped, clutching at John’s hands.

John suddenly dissipated into black smoke, floating straight into Sam’s mouth. He took over Sam with such a full force that the essence of Sam – his very soul - fell to the bottom of an abyss John created just for him.

Sam’s eyes turned dark once again.

“It’s good to be home,” said John, smiling with Sam’s teeth.

***

Sam had been asleep for four hours, thanks to Rufus’ tea recipe. They had been poring over every book Bobby had. Dean was exhausted. He really just wanted to see Sam. To hold Sam. And kiss him and…it was too much. He felt the tears coming. Dean excused himself to use the restroom, but really, he just wanted to be alone. He curled up in the shower, leaning his head against the cool tiles. That relaxed him. Grounded him. And leaning against the tiles allowed one more thing: He could perfectly hear the conversations in the next room.

***

Dean was gone no more than six minutes when the phone rang. Bobby put it on speaker and Dean could hear everything.

“Hey Braven, how’s it going? Any luck on the curse? Do you know who it is? Do you know how to break this?”

Braven’s voice was low. “There’s no way to break this curse, Bobby. No good way, anyway”

“Goddammit, there has to be!”

“There’s only three ways this can happen, you guys,” said Braven, over the phone. “None of them are good, but they’ll work. It’ll lock John away, at least.”

***

They tried to speak in low voices, they really did. But Dean heard anyway. He closed his eyes. He knew it would be unlikely that they would ever save Sam from the grips of their father now. He pulled his head away before he heard the third “way to save Sam”. The other two were horrible, including a sacrifice of something or other, and Dean had had enough. He pulled away from the wall.

 Dean got up and flushed the toilet, so at least they wouldn’t question what he was doing in there so long.

He wandered slowly back to the kitchen and sank into a chair, just listening. Nothing sounded hopeful.

***

When Braven finally arrived, it was just more of the same…he brought more books, and there was more talk, and more weighing options until Dean had had enough. Sam was running out of time.

Dean looked down at his hands. They were shaking. He looked at the three men, who were arguing, but also trying everything they could to save Sam.  But he knew his brother better than anyone. He knew what Sam needed. He knew what he needed to do.

Dean looked back down at his hands again and sighed heavily. His fingers played with the leather strap that held Rufus’ recipe book together. After a few minutes, he quietly got up and moved toward the pantry.  No one noticed Dean putzing around the kitchen, as they were too engrossed in their work. He put on a kettle to boil. Nobody noticed when the whistle blew either.

Dean gathered a few items from the pantry and fridge. Bobby looked up once, but only saw him taking a beer out of the fridge. He frowned, but let it go, looking back at the pile of papers. Dean drank the beer as he chopped up and put the ingredients in a mug and added the boiling water. He gathered the trimmings of the herbs he had cut and tossed them into the compost bin.

He threw the empty beer bottle in the recycling bin.

When no one looked up or acknowledged him standing in the doorway with a newly brewed cup of tea, Dean quietly excused himself and walked upstairs to their bedroom, closing and locking the door behind him. No one noticed him leave. Tears began streaming down his face.

Once inside, Dean slumped against the door, his shoulders sagging. He placed the still hot mug on the table by the door.

“I’m-I’m so sorry, Sammy. I failed you. This is all my fault…You’re gonna…forever, and I…” Dean stopped, shaking his head, hanging low. He ran his hand down his face.

Taking a deep breath, he looked at Sam and nodded to himself. “ok,” he whispered. He picked up the mug. He smiled at Sam, still sleeping peacefully. “Different recipe, Sam. I hope this works. See you soon.”

***

Dean looked at his watch. Thirty minutes in. Three p.m. It was time.

He walked into the attached bathroom slowly, flipping on the switch without looking. He did not look up at his reflection in the mirror. Opening the medicine cabinet, he took out the razor. He closed the cabinet and looked at himself.

Puffy eyes, red blotchy face.

Unworthy.

A sound behind him made him turn his head, but nothing was there. Just Sam, eyes closed, on the bed.

He turned back to his reflection. Dean was ashamed. He lowered his head and turned on the hot water. He let it run for a few seconds before he plugged the sink. He found the shaving cream and lathered his face, looking deeply into his own eyes.

Unlovable.

He dipped the razor into the water and slowly began to shave. Smooth. Perfect. Had to be perfect for Sam. He showered quickly, just long enough to wash his hair and get clean. (and ok, to cry for seven minutes and eighteen seconds, huddled against the cold tile of the shower.) He brushed his teeth, and washed his face, and splashed on a little of Sam’s favorite scent.

Unclean. It’s the first time he’s used that word to describe himself.

He had to be perfect. Perfect for Sam. His Sam, now maybe lost to him forever.

Slipping on a pair of clean soft sleep pants, Dean shuffled his bare feet slowly to his bed. Sam lay quietly, eyes closed. “I’m coming, Sammy. I’m coming. “Tears fell from both eyes as he climbed under the blanket and curled up (as the big spoon) behind his brother. He did not wipe away his tears. Dean wrapped his arms around him and held him tight.

With the aid of the tea he made himself, Dean fell asleep holding Sam. It wouldn’t be long now. He only needed twenty minutes.

But barely ten minutes had passed when Sam shook Dean awake.

No. Not Sam.

Dean awoke with Sam’s hand pressed against his throat.  Not-Sam straddled him, knees on either side of Dean’s thighs, holding his arm down. Dean could only gasp. Not-Sam started to squeeze.

“Hi Dean.” Dean opened his eyes and once again saw tar black eyes. He instantly was wide awake, his hands grabbing Not-Sam’s shirt collar.

“No. No, dad, you can’t have him!” Dean struggled to move under his dad’s (Sam’s) weight. His oxygen was almost gone. He felt lighter. The room buzzed around him. His hands were too heavy to hold up anymore, he couldn’t fight back. His hands fell limply by his sides. Not-Sam smiled.

The last words Dean heard before oblivion swallowed him whole were crystal clear in his ear. His father’s voice, loud and strong.

“I will never leave Sam. He’s mine. I’m part of him now. I’m in his head. He’s mine. You can’t have him, Dean. I will never let him go.”

Dean couldn’t struggle anymore. He couldn’t breathe anymore.  The ringing in his ears was gone.

He only saw Sam’s eyes turn from tar black to stunningly beautiful. Then his brother’s mouth moving, with no sound.

“Dean,” He’s sure Sam said his name.

That’s good. Yeah, that’s good.

But he had nothing left.

No air.

Darkness.

No sound.

The pressure on his throat was gone.

So was everything else.

Starved taglist:

@charliebradbury1104, @sammys-dimpless, @adsp-wincestj2, @vania-montoya, @ netaelex,   @bobbie3939 @mtngirlforever@dontknowmyname215 @j2sunflowerbaby @ alex2029

[breadcrumbsandmaps]

Found in an old notebook, written sometime between 2002-2005

*transcribed as originally written with all the shitty mistakes*

The rain stung my face. It was a freezing Five Celsius out and the wind was blowing at a good Forty-Five km/h, making the coat I had on just about as useless as a hard boiled cirrus cloud. To be honest I don’t know what it means either, my friend had never bothered to explain the metaphors he used and when you’re around someone like Jimmy Katzaniel for long enough you pick up parts of that person’s vernacular. All the catch phrases, euphemisms, vulgarities, slang, you name it you got it (whether you wanted it or not was a different story).

I’ve digressed a bit though. My brain tends to wander these days-ever since the “incident.” I’ll try to concentrate more. Where was I? Oh yes...waffles, I was on my way to get waffles, it was December...seventh...in the year of our lord Nineteen hundred and forty one, so I was on my way to get these golden brown waffles-the big Belgium kind that comes with a free stomach pump and a gallon of that pink stuff that tastes of sodium saccharine and chalk. I swear to god the local “Wafflery” has the best...the best...um...oh no...that’s wrong. I wasn’t on my way to any Wafflery of sorts and the date is also incorrect.

Apparently I had started talking to myself. In the process I had altogether stopped moving. I started walking again, pulled out the crinkled paper package of tobacco, slid one into my mouth, and lit it. I enjoyed the nicotine and “Genuine Dirt Flavor” for a few brief puffs before the rain decided that smoking is a bad habit. I kept the useless sin stick in my mouth. I’ll put it back into the paper container later. It was good to keep a cigarette that went bad because if some ass asked you for a spare you give him the dud and enjoy a good one.

I guess I should mention I’m a sociopath, I don’t empathize with other humans. I have no need for empathy and in this line of work it’s the sort of thing that can get you killed. I checked to make sure my piece was still secured to the interior of my coat. Only trust your weapon 25 percent, because if you don’t have the necessary skills to survive no weapon will make any difference. The Vikings believed that you should always charge into battle because there was a certain day that you would die, no matter what you did you’d die on that day. The Vikings are idolized, made into gods, considered great.

The thing people overlook is the Vikings were just people trying to get by, like anyone else. I however, am loathed and feared. I like my job though; I like to know I’ve left a lasting Impression on people’s lives-and their children’s and their friends and societies as well. Most people see the movies and think my kind goes in there guns blazing wasting everyone in the room not taking a hit, with some cool zany catch phrase. Reality is boring compared tot he movies. Well except law and order.

Law and Order is kind of close to reality, but it’s all the cool parts just mashed into one giant orgasm. Take for example when they read the verdict “We the jury find the defendant..........guilty of murder one, fire up the fryer this guy’s ganna die.” In reality a verdict is much more boring “We the jury find the defendant guilty on penal code 203 section 84 for obstruction of justice and disregard to the onset of halitosis within the boundaries of the set parameter” on for a hundred counts of boredom. I could seriously watch that show...for...oh damn it, damn it all to hell I bloody stopped walking again.

Seriously, I knew that quack messed with me, but I didn’t realize the extent to which he did. I’ll explain. See two years ago I woke up in a black van, conscious but paralyzed-couldn’t even blink.The van stopped at some point and several guys who look like swat team members and four men in white lab coats opened the doors and carried me inside an elevator and we descended into the depths of hell. To summarize I think I spent about a month down there. Injections, beatings, torture, surgery, forced feedings, degradation and some quack who would ask me how I felt and would tell me what they were trying to do was what there was to my life for that month. Some freak cult, I lost my memories or what happened before I had come there.

They had Video taped and documented everything from the van forward. One day I had woken up and everything was different. There were bodies around, blood and entrails splashed on the walls like some modern art painting. There were bullet holes, slash marks, fire damage, craters-it didn’t take a genius to figure out that something bloody powerful stormed through here. Even though I knew whoever or whatever did all this might still be around I was damn hungry. I stayed for a while in these catacombs eating the left over food and water that was around.

Turns out there had been a whole colony of these freaks living in this huge underground complex. Whatever they were doing they had pissed something or some organization off pretty badly. I went through documentation and videos, map schematics, none of it seemed too interesting. I said I’d lost my memories of before the van, maybe I should clarify, I lost my memories of who I was and what I’d done, but not of my understanding of what things are. My collection of nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs and the like was completely in tact.

I’d wager they destroyed selective parts of my brain. Although I soon discovered why the reading I had done wasn’t too interesting. I had come across a few large bonfire pits filled with remains of diskettes, papers, books, CDs, Audio and Video Cassettes, none of it any use. I salvaged some money, clothing, and a few weapons from this tomb. There were about 30 levels to this place (felt like 100) as I climbed the stairs. I figured better the stairs than trust the elevator considering the condition of the place. Every single level had been decimated and no one spared.

I don’t imagine I had always been a sociopath, or maybe I was and this was why I was selected by them, lord only knows. If you had only visited the ground floor this would appear to be a normal building, everything was in pristine condition, no bodies, no people, and no signs of a savage battle. If it was an “office” front then the attack may have happened when the office was closed, or the attackers herded the people downstairs. Either way I was glad that the people below me were now ready for Mother Nature to recycle them.

The good thing about an extensively long flashback is that by the time I finished with it I was standing at the restaurant where my hit was. I walked in, shook off the rain and walked over to the hostess.

“Table for one.”

She seemed surprised by my presence and had a bit of disgust in her eye. Maybe it was because she was a pretty young woman and I was a bit gruesome to look at. She forced a smile and in a politeness that could only be described as false, replied

“I’m sorry sir but we’re...”

She went on about something or another, reservations, private party. I wasn’t really listening. I had on dark glasses and was scanning the customers for my target. I confirmed his presence and noted he was getting up in a hurry and made his way for a room. Now was my chance, he was running to the bathroom for the love of bladder. In this time the young hostess had finished her spiel.

“Oh ok.” (I said in acknowledgement that a table would be impossible) “But perhaps you could be so kind as to let me use your restroom.”

I had caught her off guard with my acceptance of what she had said. She had seemed ready to put up a fight. I’m a sociopath remember, not an asshole. She agreed and pointed me in the direction. I nodded in thanks and made a little jog to the little boy’s room. No one else was in there except for me and the one I had to dispose of. He was preoccupied urinating. I locked the door with such skill he did not notice. I waited a few seconds to finish up and shake. Before he could even zip up his vertebrae had been severed. God had not simply intended for us to turn out necks much more than 90 degrees left or right; a fact that I helped my friend understand with a small demonstration. I pulled down his pants and boxers and placed him in a stall.

I opened the bathroom door and walked out of the restaurant Thanked the bubbly hostess and disappeared into. It’s better when you don’t have to use a gun or a knife. What I did tonight is best described as a clean kill. No blood, no direct witnesses and a body that may not be found for a half hour. Funny thing is that in life the people you know are more likely to harm you than strangers are. Well it may not be too funny but, it’s the truth at least.

I was hungry so I set off again in this bastardly weather in the hopes of finding a Wafflery or some sort of confection outlet at least. Tomorrow I’d go to the boss and get paid. 10K a hit, a few hits a year and you have a nice life. People have this misconception that the assassin is out there every night killing people and not making any money. Like some sort of psycho, Al Paccino, guy. Nah we’re all humans just trying to get by in life. Tobacco companies kill thousands, and few complain.

Death is a part of life. It’s not something I myself even entirely understand. I somehow seem to think it does not apply to me that I merely deal it to those whose time it is to receive it. Sometimes I think I’m alone in this universe and that everything only exists for me. It usually gets weird when I’m lying i bed just thinking about it. A failed experiment I view this world as, something that has no purpose, reason, rhyme or metre. I wonder if there’s a heaven or a hell sometimes and if eternity would get boring. I can’t picture an eternity in this life.

Other times I feel like I’ve lived my life an infinite number of times. I wonder about reincarnation and what not. I’m not too many people think about this stuff but I think about it a lot, it drives a person crazy thinking about their mortality. I knew this girl...and...oh...I’ve done it again. I’ve gotten side tracked again well I was doing good for a while. But hell what can you say. I guess this is the end of our journey, for now. Have a good night my mysterious friend.

[mydrcharacterblogs]

Rummie Pre-first game hype

The bar was dimly lit in soft yellow tones from various candles and lanterns, there were no windows and the door leading out was down a black painted hall,  so the outside world was muted. Inside smoke filled the room swirling around the dancing girls dressed in sequin and silk standing on top of small platforms like old coffee tables or milk crates covered in cloth. Men chewed on cigars and drank pungent spirits from recycled glass bottles some men watched the girls intensely and others paid them no mind as they played cards and laughed deep from jokes whispered among the tables. Some girls sat or layed across plush cushions and sofas covered in tacky paisley and floral prints. Back against the far wall was a long bar top counter with dirty mirrors and liquor bottles lining the wall behind it. Tassel beaded doors ended the wall on each side of the bar. Behind the bar a young girl was bent up over the counter taking an order from an older woman, her face was pale with flushed cheeks, blue and silver glitter framed her face as she smirked with a blue lipped smile. She took the tip the woman handed her, stuffed it into her top and poured her a cold shot of hooch. As the bartender turned to watch the girls, the door opened; light from outside cast down the black hallway and quickly vanished. A tall man with a hood on appeared in the doorway a faint red glow emitting from him. He lowered his hood, looked around and proceeded to the back towards the bar. The young bartender walked over to him lowering the scarf around her head.

“Hey, Welcome to Songbirds my name is Rummie, what can I get ya?”

“I’ll take a fire shot and a glass of water.”

Rummie grabs a bottle from the ice chest and a small glass and sets it down in front of the Iron. She then takes two bottles and flips one in her hand and gives the Iron a wink and pours them simultaneously into the glass. She then pulls a match, strikes it on the edge of the bar and lights his drink on fire. The Iron takes up the lit glass blows out the flame and shoots the drink back in one gulp.

“Another?” Rummie asks as she shakes the liquor bottle in her hand with a smile.

“Nah thanks, you do make a good drink i’ll admit.”. The Iron pulls out some money and places it on the table. “Do any Irons work here?” he asks looking around the room. “Nah, our last girl quit a few months back to go out East.” Rummie replies as she grabs a rag and starts drying off a rack of glasses. “How long have you been working here?”

“Oh me? I’ve been here almost three years, mostly bartending tho I only entertain select clients...If you’re looking for someone I can make a few suggestions…”

“Oh no, I’m not really looking for that kind of company.” The Iron replies as he smirks and takes a sip of his water.

“So what are you looking for...hmm I don’t think I caught your name?” Rummie leans over the bar and rests her head on her hand.

“Names Oz.”

“So you don’t go by” Rummie takes her hand and turns Oz’s face to the side. “7815?”

“No, not usually I only get called that when I’m in trouble.” Oz smirks and finishes off his glass of water. “You know what, I think I will have that second shot.” he says as he reaches into his pocket and pulls out some more notes. “Pour one for yourself too.”.

The two make their way over to a sitting area, another girl comes out from behind the beaded door and takes Rummies place tending the bar. Rummie opens a box and puts together hookah for the two to share, packing the hookah with a fruity smelling tobacco and a powder substance that shimmers in the candle light. The two talk about Rummie’s job bartending and how she loves to garden, how all of the liquor they sell at Songbirds she brews herself. Oz tells stories of the parties his old master threw and the ridiculous things purebloods do when they think no one is watching. They talked and laughed for hours, slowly passing the hookah back and forth. The room swam and Rummie felt fuzzy, Oz looked almost sober but the gleam in his eye gave way to the fact he was feeling warm as well.

“I haven’t had this good a time with someone outside of my faith in a while.” Oz says as he leans back in his seat looking up at the ceiling. “Oh, you’re a religious man are ya?” Rummie asks with a giggle in her voice.

“Actually I’m a Priest.” Rummie sits up and looks wide eyed, “No fucking shit?! My dad’s a Final Knight priest, what religion are you?”.

“Hedon, I follow the seven.” Oz says as he tilts his glass and gives a nod. “Oh dope, I’m all about living for today.” Rummie says with a wink.

“Well, if you weren’t here what would you be doing?” Oz asks.

“I don’t know maybe travel some, I used to travel a lot with my mom when I was younger, sometimes I miss it.”.

“Well I’m about to head out of Vegasia myself; do a bit of roaming and preaching with the Iron uprising going on they could use some welcoming faces and I need to be there for my people. I gotta say I’d love to have you accompany me, my parties would be wonderful if I got to serve your drinks.” Oz replied.

Rummie smiled “I’ve been here a while now, I would miss this place but I could use a change.”.

“We can come back whenever you’d like, I won’t hold ya hostage or anything.”.

The two headed up to Rummies room; the bed was made with a blue and grey quilt, milk crates where stacked on the opposite wall with folded clothes and random belongings stacked inside. Rummie pulled a black bag out from one of the crates and started packing some belongings, she pulled a grey knit scarf and a tall shiney pole out from behind a loose board in the wall.

The two made their way back downstairs, Rummie approached a tall thin woman with silver hair and a black dress and a short stocky man wearing a half buttoned shirt and multiple chains around his neck.

From a distance Oz could see a slice of anger in the eyes of the man and signs of upset in the corner of the woman’s lips. Rummie points over to Oz; the woman looks a bit relieved, and the man’s demeanor changes from angry to almost frightened. Rummie hugs the man and women and walks back over to Oz, as they head towards the door Rummie says her goodbyes to the girls and some of the regulars.

The tall thin woman from before approaches Rummie and hands her a stack of letters and papers and mouths “I’m sorry.” before hugging Rummie one last time and walking back towards the stocky man. She looks at the stack and notices an envelope with some cash, a few recipes Rummie made, some letters from her father, and a few letters from a name she didn’t recognize at first. ‘Johanna Rin Hunter’ Rummie thinks to herself, ‘My sister?’.

Oz and Rummie make their way outside, it’s dark but the streets are still busy. Oz mounts a bike parked outside of Songbirds and Rummie gets on the back.

The two drive off towards the outskirts of Vegasia and pull up to house with three men standing outside a couple Irons and a Retrograde. They give Oz a nod and look at Rummie and smile as the two head into the house. Inside were about another half dozen people drinking and playing cards. Rummie sits down and pulls the letter from her bag. Oz grabs two drinks and hands one to Rummie. The room is noisy as she tries to focus on the letter in her hand:

Dear Rummie, I don't know if Dad told you about me, or our other siblings. I'm JoHanna Rin (soon to be Hunter). We have a brother and sister, Wallace (or Wally) and Scarlett. We share a father, but not a mother, obviously. I wish I could have gotten to know you when we were kids. I'm getting married here soon, so I wanted to invite you to the wedding. You'd be able to meet my fiancé, William Hunter. Everyone just calls him Father Hunter though. We're Nuke Fam, like my mom was. I still follow a bit in Dad's footsteps, so that's how I was able to find where you were. Ya know, contacts and all that jazz. Let me know if you can make it. It's in Sanctuary, Kaintuck. Hopefully talk to you soon, JoHanna Rin

Dearest Rummie, It's after the wedding. I'm assuming you couldn't make it, or the letter didn't reach you in time. My sources say you're doing well, which makes me feel better. If you ever need anything, please come find me. Family means the world to me. William and I adopted a few people into our family. We have River, Engrave, Emery and Buttons. We also own a honey farm between Kaintuck and The Landing, so we go between those settlements often. We're pretty well off, so again, if you need anything, I'm here for you. With all my love, JoHanna Rin-Hunter

My Darling Sister, I haven't heard anything and it's been over a year since I sent my first letter, almost two this Spring. It's the Holly Days, so the cold is starting to bite up here. Again, my sources say you're fine, but it seems you might not be getting my letters. Or you don't want to talk to me. If not, I understand. Our family circumstances are a bit strange because of Dad, huh? Well, I'm here. I'll send another letter soon. We're moving The Landing to the old Fort Seymore. We still have the honey farm so traveling isn't very hard, though again, very cold. I hope everything is well. Please be safe. Love, your Oldest Sister JoHanna

It takes a moment for everything to sink in, the fact that Songbirds withheld these letters from her probably to keep her working there. Everything in the background fades out as Rummie drifts off imagining all the ways meeting her sister could go. A hand on her shoulder snaps her out of her daze.

“You ok there Rummie?” Oz asks in a soft tone. “Yea, but I think I need to head North and look for my sister.” Rummie looks over at Oz as he contemplates the idea. “Shouldn't be an issue, Iron Works are up that way I can make a few stops, actually sounds not so bad.”. The two clink their glasses together “North it is.” Oz says before he gulps down the remaining liquid in his cup, Oz stands up and walks over to the Retrograde and pulls him into the other room.

The next day Oz and Rummie throw their belongings into the back of an old truck owned by the Retrograde she had briefly met last night on the porch.

“Hensley is gonna get us a good distance up North. There's a temple about 10 hours from here that will keep us for as long as we need, after that it's up to us to go the rest of the way.” Hensley tips his hat and opens the drivers side door to get in.

“Sounds like an adventure.” Rummie replies as she flirtatiously bumps her shoulder into Oz's. They pile into the truck and it makes a loud backfiring noise as Hensley turns the ignition. “Well lets hope this makes it to the temple.” Oz says jokingly as him and Hensley exchange looks.