JSAB AU Fanfic- Bug Spray
Okay, so after the events on @small--crcle I can’t think of Rayne’s AU at all without crying, so I wrote this gift fanfic to cope.
It’s literally the most angsty thing I’ve written since “That’s Not Your Brother,” so bear with me here... and bring a tissue box. Yes, I know it’s April 1st, and I should post some happy, lighthearted fic... but nope.
This was partly inspired by some asks that I sent to Rayne’s main blog, @plaquebeat ((as well as her priceless reactions))
Description: Here’s a nightmarish concept- What if every infected shape's magic changed a bit? Just a tiny bit, but enough for Blixer to notice. Like... being too close to Kubix or Penta for too long would make him feel like there are spiders crawling up his arms... Or being near NGB would make him feel like he's being watched... too many eyes... all around... He'd know deep down that it's not real...but he can't shake the feeling that his friends have changed.... and he's the odd one out…
Warnings: Given the source material, this fanfic has body horror, slight gore, references to PTSD, violence, and blood. Please, please, please don’t read at night. The only thing this story doesn’t have is harsh language. Please don’t read if any of these are triggers for you.
Speaking of language, since I personally do not use profanity in any of my works, I’d like to say here and now that the term, “Yxxit,” is an exclamation from a fictional language that I’m developing. It’s kinda rude, so you’ll see the context soon.
Blixer’s eye snapped open, and he sat up, breathing heavily. His heart was hammering in his chest, his core feeling like it was about to explode. He stared blankly forward, his nightmare repeating itself in his mind a billion times, that horrid, twisted song echoing in his head like a mocking, broken record.
Too many eyes… too many legs… skittering bugs everywhere. His friends and family, infected… leaving him as the only pure shape left… A choked whimper left him, and he drew his knees to his chest, hugging himself. It hurt to remember… it hurt to dream.
It took a moment for the reality to set in, and he felt tears running down his face, his entire form shaking. He could still feel phantom pains from that day, that horrible event that had forever changed his friends, had twisted his world. He nearly snapped his neck to turn around as he heard shuffling. His arm thrust forth, his hand changing to a cannon as he shakily aimed for the shape in the bed next to his, his eye shining in the low light.
A sick, paranoid part of him wanted to fire, to turn whatever monster he’d see to shards before it could react… but he soon remembered who he was looking at, and he winced. He whimpered, before he fully awoke, shaking his head and lowering his arm. His cannon changed back to a proper hand, and he shook slightly, sighing.
It was just New Game… it was just his brother… his former alter ego… not a monster. Not anymore. Hopefully… never again.
He sighed, drawing the covers closer as he slid out of bed and walked over the the other side of the room. Each step sent agonizing pain through his legs, and he winced, forcing himself to breathe. He hesitantly reached for the other shape, lightly shaking him.
“New… you awake?”
New Game was practically burrowed in the blankets; he’d been doing that a lot lately, and Blixer feared that he’d suffocate. But he was fine… at least in that respect. He was alive, at least.
The other shape failed to awaken, and Blixer tried again, raising his voice barely above a whisper. “New… New Game…. Wake up.”
Finally, NGB turned around. He let out a small groan, rubbing his eyes as he tried to mutter something, if only to get Blixer to leave him alone.
“Wha...wha’dya wann?” His words were slurred, and as he sat up slowly, Blixer winced, seeing the stitching around his face pull slightly against his flesh… from where it had been torn open. NGB blinked slowly, humming, “It’s… it’s like three in the mornin’... Blix… please don’t tell me you’re hungry…”
Blixer shook his head, whimpering. “I had a nightmare…” He looked away, sighing. “That nightmare…”
New Game’s demeanor did a one-eighty. He seemed to wake up fully, his eyes widening as he sat up, sitting on the edge of the bed. Blixer hadn’t been able to shake his fears from the latest incident. Things had calmed significantly since then, but it seemed like something was… off… for one thing, he was always having nightmares now…
New’s horns folded downwards, and he shakily smiled, trying to seem reassuring.
“You wanna talk about it?”
Blixer’s tone was curt. “No… just go back to bed… I wanted to make sure it was still you.”
New felt a twinge of guilt race through his heart, his eyes flickering. He glanced at the ground, ashamed, before he sighed. Even he was still affected by the… event. He had to admit, he sometimes caught odd glances at himself in the mirror… lingering just to make sure he hadn’t suddenly sprouted extra eyes or legs…
He was barely used to having his own body… being alone in his head was much more terrifying when his form was so unstable. Deep down, he was afraid that he’d wake up one day and be back in that nightmarish form. However, he knew for sure… no shape had been impacted as badly as Blixer.
“Blix? You know it’s not real, right…?” His voice held an anxious tone as he reached for his counterpart. “Everything’s fine now…”
“That’s what you always say!”
New drew back, flinching at the sudden outburst. His horns flicked downward, and he shuddered a bit, the heart rate in his eye quickening. He looked around, trying to avoid Blixer’s gaze.
“But… you know that’ll never happen again…” he chuckled nervously, playfully punching Blixer on the shoulder. A twinge of guilt stung his heart as the other shape cringed, stepping back. “That weird bug stuff… it’s over… I ain’t turnin’ into a… what was it? Millipede?” He fumbled for the words. “Yeah… I’m not turning into a millipede again any time soon.”
He tried not to think about that day… his stitched scars tugged against his skin when he smiled, however, and he winced, trying to remain calm.
Blixer hugged himself. “But… you said it was fine when Kubix turned red… you said it was fine when Droplet blighting tried to kill us.” New winced at Blixer’s callous language. “Yxxit… you always say it’s fine… and then it’s not!”
The monocular shape breathed heavily, his hands clenched into fists. New Game whispered, “But…”
“No… just face it! No matter what we do, everything just goes wrong again the moment we let our guard down!” Blixer suddenly stepped closer, hissing in an uncharacteristic act of rage. “We’re a pretty terrible hero, if you ask me…”
Shuddering, he shoved New Game, his teeth gritted. His powers collected in his hands, and he forced himself to avoid attacking, unable to deny his anger. Sweet, innocent Blixer was gone. He’d been shattered and otherwise maimed way too many times to count, and he couldn’t trust himself to be happy. It was only a matter of time until things went wrong, after all… That seemed to be one of the constants of his world.
“You’re part of the problem…. If you weren’t around…” He shoved New again. “Maybe Kubix wouldn’t have gotten turned into a monster!”
New’s own aggression seemed to return, and he stood. “Well… how do you figure that, shortstack?” He stood, looming over Blixer by a few inches. They used to be the same height… after the incident… it seemed that the alter ego had grown a few inches. His mouth split into a fanged sneer, and he felt his scars stretch, threatening to sever. “We single handedly save this blighted world every blighted week… and you want to ridicule that?”
He pointed an accusatory claw at Blix, feeling a swell of sadistic satisfaction as his alter winced, afraid. He chuckled, his horns flicking upward. His scars ached with a phantom pain, and he winced, forcing a wider grin.
Recovering, Blixer hissed, “Every blighted week I get beaten within an inch of my life by a Tree-forsaken void-spawn of a monster…” His horns flicked back, and he started to scream. “I’m done sitting idly by while my own so-called family sics demons to kill… me… what’s next, my shardin’ grandparents come from the afterlife to rip off my fingers?!”
New’s good eye twitched, and he snarled, his heart rate monitor eye spiking.
“You know what… you should feel lucky… you didn’t get your blighted face ripped in half…” He raised a claw, his voice dropping to a venomous growl, “Although… that could be arranged…”
A sudden, wet ripping sound rang out (like that of flesh tearing), and New clasped a hand to his face, hissing in pain as he felt his stitches tear, pink blood pooling around his hands. He winced, glancing at Blixer. The other shape seemed terrified, his eye wide and tearful. He started to back away, raising a hand… which seemed to be close to becoming a cannon.
New chuckled nervously, dropping the violent act. Guilt pooled in his heart, and he felt a rush of nausea flood him; he’d gone too far… from how Blix was staring at him, he must have thought he was turning back into… that creature.
“Oh come on… I’m kidding…” He shrugged, removing his hand. “Blix… you have to get over it at some point.” Something dripped down his face from the wound, and he cringed, his vision blurring. He smiled shakily, trying not to make a sudden movement as he felt more of his stitches starting to tear… revealing the horrors within...
Blixer’s eye widened, and he screamed, grabbing a pillow and throwing it at New. The alter ego hissed, reeling, and Blixer scrambled back, vaulting over the bed and rushing out the door. Tears streamed down his face as he ran, his entire body glowing as he prepared to make a mad dash to escape. He didn’t even want to see Kubix…
“Blix!” New yelled after him. “Wait up! It was a joke, I promise!”
Blixer could still hear the skittering of billions of little legs with each step that his brother took. Just being in the same room with him… or any other formerly infected shape, was unbearable. He could still see the eyes staring at him from every angle, the mottled innards lining the ground as New Game’s spine cracked backwards, his flesh tearing apart like wet paper.
A choked sob left him, and he shook his head wildly.
Nothing was the same… it would never be the same again…
Blixer eventually collapsed, his legs giving out just as he shut himself in the closet. His eye was flaring with a panicked light, and he uncontrollably sobbed, his entire form quivering as he wept. It was hard to breathe, his hands flickering with his powers as he tried to force himself to stay calm.
The images from his nightmare assaulted his mind’s eye, and he broke down completely, covering his face, his claws digging into his arms as he hugged himself.
He couldn’t even bear to face his friends… each time he so much as locked eyes with his own father, he felt shudders crawling up his spine, his nerves on end as his anxiety skyrocketed. He was afraid…. Afraid that if he let his guard down, everyone around him would become something beastly and kill him.
His mind supplied a twisted pun; things were bugging him more easily lately. He let out a broken, bitter chuckle, his voice cracking… much like his body snapped each time he’d been slammed across walls by his enemies... by his own family.
He drew in on himself, whimpering as his laughter devolved into sobs again. He couldn’t forget that horrible day… having to watch his own brother rip himself to shreds, all in an attempt to stop himself from shattering… no, murdering him.
A soft knock at the door startled him from his dejected thoughts, and he looked up, choking on his own gasp. He coughed violently, shaking as his horns flicked back, fear filling him. How much time did he have until they hurt him again? Until some new big bad came around and turned someone he loved into a monstrous puppet, whose only purpose was to harm? Would he be next? Or would he just be the target the monsters would be sent to shatter? Blixer felt his heart stutter as he heard Kubix’s voice, muffled by the door.
“Blix? You alright?” The door started to open, and Blixer whimpered, scrambling back. “Blixer?”
He yelled, “G-get away from me!” He grabbed the nearest object- an old, balled up sock- and threw it at the square, screaming. “Please… please… get away!”
The sock sailed over Kubix’s head, despite his height. He opened the door fully, sighing and stepping inside. His eyes glowed with a soft, reassuring light, which was nothing like the deadly, predatory shine from the incident. Still, Blixer winced as Kubix approached.
“Blixer… what’s wrong?” He kneeled, reaching out slowly. “Did you have a nightmare?”
The unspoken, “Another one?” was easily communicated in the king’s tone. Blixer whimpered, shaking violently as he turned away, unable to coherently speak.
“S-stop… I.. I just wanna… wanna be alone right now… please…” he stammered. “Please… p-p-please….”
Kubix felt his heart break, and he sighed, his eyes dimming. He inched closer, and Blixer felt nausea race from his core, flooding his senses as he saw the scars along the sides of Kubix’s head, from where those dreaded horns had ripped from his skull.
“Get away… get away, please…” the small shape whimpered. “I can’t take it… can’t… just… please leave me… alone…”
All he could see was Kubix, covered in pink… spindly insect legs writhing from his back as he screamed and howled. Horns jutting from his head, spiking upwards in the air like wicked knives. Seeing the powerful king of Paradise, reduced to the pathetic, screeching mess of a creature, a creature that existed only to kill him. The flashback hit Blixer like a ton of bricks, and he screamed.
“You’re just going to h-hurt… me… again…”
Kubix backed away, raising his hands. “Blix… you know I’d never hurt you-”
“YOU ALWAYS DO!” Blixer suddenly shrieked. He threw a shoebox this time, wincing as it hit Kubix in the shoulder. He instantly cringed, drawing back with a squeak and cowering. “I’m sorry… I-I… I’m sorry….”
His eye was wide and unfocused… hazy with fear. His breaths were uneven, and Kubix was afraid that the pink shape had reached a breaking point.
“Blixer… stop apologizing… you’ve been through way more mess than a kid deserves…” He lowered his voice, his tone warm. “I’m sorry that I had to be the ‘bad guy’... you know that the real me would never hurt you… it was that… blighted infection…” He glanced down at his hands, mentally kicking himself for accepting that cursed tea… if he hadn’t been so naive…. Blixer wouldn’t have suffered…
“B-but… you used to… you used to be a bad, bad shape….” Blixer buried his face in his sleeves. “What’s stopping you from going back?”
Kubix winced, his voice dropping to a whisper. “Blixer… it’s been years since that happened… one incident isn’t going to undo… how much I care for my sons.”
Blixer hesitantly looked up at him. “I… I can still sense it…” He snarled, “E-everytime I see you and New Game and Penta… I can see the… the things you turned into…”
He looked away, breathing heavily. Kubix could see the utter terror in his son’s gaze. He felt his own heart stutter with a protective anger, and he suddenly reached out, pulling Blixer close. The shape instantly began to shriek, his eye widening and glowing with a terrified light. Kubix stood, backing out of the closet, keeping his hold firm yet soft.
“Blixer,” he whispered. He held the small shape close. “Please… listen to me… no one is going to hurt you…”
Blixer writhed, and Kubix felt claws digging into his arms. “Get away, let me go, let me go!” He felt as if he’d die. His heart quickened to a fervent pace, and he started screeching, vainly clawing at Kubix’s arms. “‘S-spiders… spiders every-everywhere…”
The small shape started hyperventilating, his eye wide and bright and so painfully distant. He was reliving his worst memory…. Even Annihilate wasn’t this bad… At least then, he hadn’t cared so much for Kubix… hadn’t had to fight his own father figure.
He tried to squirm out of Kubix’s hold. He could feel spiders crawling up his arms, a spine-chilling phantom sensation. He could see the black and pink acid dripping from Kubix’s mouth and eyes, like twisted tears… just before he started shrieking. He held his head, trying to banish the horrible images from his mind.
“Blixer… I’m not a spider…” Kubix held him, whispering futile reassurances. “Blixer… please… don’t do this… it’s okay…”
“No! It’s not… not okay… not okay…” Blixer shook. “Y-you… you guys turned into m-monsters… I never want to see anything like that… ever again…”
Kubix sighed, “I promise… I’ll do everything in my power to prevent that from happening again. You know this.”
He carried Blixer to the kitchen, setting him down at the table and pulling up a chair to sit across from him. New Game was already there, an ice pack pressed against his cheek as he glared passive-aggressively at his counterpart, who subtly inched his chair away. His glare was more like a slightly irritated, watery stare, pained tears having collected in the shape’s eyes. Kubix crossed his arms, sighing softly as he sorted out his words.
“Blixer… you need to tell us what’s bothering you. We can’t help ya if you just lash out…”
“T-tell you what’s wrong?!” The one-eyed shape growled, bristling. “Seeing you guys get torn apart and turned into monsters is what’s wrong! I thought that was obvious!”
Kubix narrowed his eyes, huffing. “You’ve seen me get turned into Annihilate far too many times to count… we both know you can handle a little body horror.”
It hurt to see Blixer like this; so standoffish, having closed off from the world in fear of being too vulnerable to help. It had been his emotions that stopped him from trying to save his own brother. He’d frozen up, overtaken by fear… but now, it seemed that he couldn’t stop reacting, usually with violence.
Kubix breathed, “Blixer… if it helps you get over this… I’ll go Annihilate right here and now just to make you see… I’m in control.” He winced as he felt his magic spike a bit, trying to force the irritated red out of his glow. “No matter what form I take… you’re still my son, Blix. As long as my mind is intact, I’ll never let ya get hurt again.”
New just grinned, starting to move the ice pack from his face. Blixer whimpered as he spotted the glowing yellow eye that had opened in the alter’s face. Kubix reached over, lightly plucking NGB on the shoulder and glaring at him. The alter ego huffed, pouting, before replacing the ice pack.
Blixer shuddered. “B-but… this was different…” He hugged himself. “Even when you go Annihilate… I know it’s still you, deep down... “ He looked away, sighing shakily. “But… whatever Suenami did… it changed you… and I can still sense it…”
Kubix huffed, “Blixer. Do I look like an insect?”
The panicked shape squirmed, shakily breathing. “N-no… not on the outside… but… w-what if…. What if the infection’s still there? What if you all t-t-turn back… into those bugs again…”
New scoffed, “Okay… so a FEW of those creepy eyes are still there… but I’m not gonna start sproutin’ bug legs all willy-nilly…unless...” He reached for Blixer with his free hand, wiggling his fingers eerily. “Ooh… I’m a monster… blegh…”
His brother squeaked, smacking his hand away. “Not funny!” he squealed. He growled under his breath, “Y-you won’t be laughing when I... spray you with pesticide…”
“You won’t be laughing when I turn into a bug monster and eat you.”
“Y-you’re already halfway -tthere…” Blixer’s tone was venomous… although his stutter remained.
New stood, clenching his fists. “Oh yeah? I’ll show you a real monster…”
“Look in the mirror and tell me what ya see…”
“Boys!” Kubix yelled. Both circles paused in their argument, eyes wide. The king huffed, crossing his arms as he eyed the two, disappointment clear in his gaze. “You two need to learn to get along…” He sighed, rubbing his temples. “Look, I get it… that… incident… was emotionally taxing for all of us…”
New Game deadpanned, “There’s an actual hole. In my face right now.”
“Shut it, New,” Blixer growled. His voice faltered instantly, and he huffed, quivering. “Just drop it.”
New ignored him, of course. “A Tree-forsaken hole, Kubix.”
Kubix glared at NGB, before sighing. “As I was saying… last week was filled with some… unfortunate events…” He looked away, glancing at his hands. “But… we can’t just let it tear us apart.”
Blixer snarled, “Tell that… tell that to New Game.”
The alter ego whimpered, sitting down and hugging himself. He subconsciously scratched at his scars, squirming in discomfort. Blixer seemed to regret his rude tone, turning to face his brother with a small sigh. Hesitantly, he hugged the other, his horns flicking back as he stared hollowly through Kubix.
“S-sorry… I just… haven’t been feeling myself… since then…”
Kubix’s eyes filled with a sympathetic light. “I know…” He breathed shakily, “None of us have…”
Standing without another word, Kubix backed away, giving a last, empathetic smile, before turning away. He rushed out of the kitchen, towards his room… The last thing he wanted to do was scare Blixer… and if his very presence was painful, he’d just stay away… until things all returned to normal… no matter how much it hurt to know that he was the source of his own child’s nightmares.
Blixer thought he saw a flash of an agitated red in Kubix’s glow. He hurriedly stuttered, “D-Dad… wait…” He stood, dashing over to intercept Kubix’s departure. As he caught the ruby glimmer in the king’s eye, he felt his breath catch, a twinge of fear stinging at his core. He stammered, “I’m s-s-sorry… I shouldn’t have been so… so curt…”
Kubix’s expression faltered, and he backed away a pace. “Blixer… I know you’re still on edge… I want you to recover at your own pace… I can’t force you to be happy.”
“No…” Blixer shook his head. “NGB may be a pest…” That earned him a glare. “But I… I can’t just… run from my fear... “ He shuddered, barely able to make eye contact…. Barely able to ignore the anxiety in his heart. “I faced Ra… and Droplet… and… our own family… I should be able to face my fears.”
He took a hesitant step towards Kubix. The square went still, not wanting to frighten his son again. The young hero was terrified… he could see his horns quivering at a glance. New Game watched from afar, blinking owlishly. He was curious… what would Blixer do? Run… or face his fears head-on?
Kubix breathed, “Blix… if you’re scared of me… it… it’s okay… I know I haven’t given you reason to t-trust me lately…” He sighed, collecting himself. It hurt to see his son so terrified… of him. “But I promise you…Even if you think I’m still a monster... I will never hurt you, Blixer. Please, try to understand that much…”
He was cut off as Blixer hollered.
“N-no! I’m not afraid of you… because you’re n-not… you’re not a monster…” Blixer took another step, quivering like a leaf. “You’re… my dad.”
Much to the shock of the other shapes, Blixer suddenly hugged Kubix. Terrified shudders went down his spine, and he lingered, shaking violently. He repeated a mental mantra like a broken record, reassuring himself that his father was himself… that he wouldn’t harm him… ever again.
Yet, the memories of all the times Kubix had been controlled, all the times that he had hurt him… made Blixer’s eye fill with tears, and he shook, his breath catching.
“I… I don’t w-w-want…. Don’t want you… to turn into a monster… e-e-ever again…” His voice cracked, quavering. “I… I wouldn’t be able to take it…”
Kubix returned the embrace, sighing. He reached down, picking up the small shape and carrying him back to the table. He wordlessly pulled New into the hug as well, holding his two sons close… as his happiness depended on their safety…
In a way… it did.
Kubix’s voice was airy as he whispered, “I’ll never let this happen again…” He shuddered. “You shouldn’t have to fear for your lives… not in my kingdom…”
New said nothing, and Blixer just whimpered. The latter felt an eerie chill race up his spine. He could still picture those insect-like legs, the extra limbs that had torn free from Kubix’s back… that had left scars deeper than any corruption.
Blixer couldn’t speak. There was really nothing to say, except that he was deeply, truly afraid. The scars were proof that the transformations hadn’t been mere corruption… it was something much, much worse...
Kubix continued, “If you ever… ever feel unsafe… I will be there in an instant, and I will slay whatever beast is harming you….”
New shuddered. “It… it hurts, Kubix…” He sniffled, despite himself. “I’m s-s-sorry… sorry for teasing Blixer…”
“Like I said, I’ll always protect you… both of you.”
Kubix held them for awhile, silent. He still hadn’t been able to fully shake the effects of the incident. It was so, so much worse than anything he’d ever encountered. At least in the past, when it was simple as corruption, they could be sure that whatever mutations had occurred would fade away completely… but now, the scars ran deep to their cores, and Kubix was unsure if he could take it.
Yet… he’d remain strong for his sons… for his kingdom. He started to drift off to sleep, hoping dearly for sweet dreams, before he heard whimpering. He looked down, seeing Blixer clinging to New, his eye wide with tears.
“Blix?”
Blixer finally squeaked, “Wh-what if you’re the beast….?” He buried his face in Kubix’s sleeve. “What if… what if you lose c-control? What if you turn… into a m-m-monster?”
He didn’t want to picture that scenario… he never wanted to see Kubix or New Game… or anyone else… in that state again.
“Blix… as long as we’re on the same side, you never have to see me as a monster again… however…” The square chuckled, despite his seriousness. His tone was bitter, laced with a morbid, foreboding growl. “To the enemy… that’s exactly what I’ll be.”
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