#ask me next week about my thoughts on his nuanced approach to gender

[grease-got-a-hold]

something something sodapop who feels no need to label his sexuality. sodapop who will date who he wants. sodapop who will laugh when someone assumes he’s straight, but react the same way if someone assumes he’s gay. sodapop who feels this way unapologetically in the 1960s. sodapop who’s views on sexuality were so ahead of his time. something something sodapop is the queer icon we never knew we needed.

[famouskittychild]

Cheeky Mandos - ...and we're off

(Sorry I had a terrible writer’s block in the past 6-ish weeks - I went from reading fanfiction and being inspired by other’s visions to “I’ll never be able to write anything like these and I’m useless” in a single day :( I’m getting back into the groove finally, so I’m hoping to post more soon.)

There will be 18+ content (in the coming chapters soon) so if you are a minor, please don't read further.

Also the characters will be quite open and relaxed about things like gender, attraction, sexual activities, relationships etc, so if you prefer your Din (and their partner) possessive and/or monogamous , this won’t be a good read for you!

***

This pairing is  Din Djarin x gn reader / tall reader.  I’m short (and cis and woman). There’s so many short (and female) reader stuff out there, I wanted to write for people on the other end of the “why is your height not normal” / "definitely female" spectrum. If I make mistakes or you have advice, or ideas you'd like to see, please tell me!

Word count: 4267

Summary: You’re an armourer and some shiny guy just showed up.

First full piece/chapter/course! In which people seem to catch things. Thoughts? Viruses? Dropped facts? Who knows!?? Also contains a dilettante’s attempt at space electronics and some barely-canon-reminiscent Mando world-building. Still no spiciness sorry, marinating is a long process :P

Rating: T for some mentions of heavier topics.

CW: Mentions of mandalorian history, playing somewhat loose with canon lore (as in, my SW knowledge is patchy. sorry.)

Author’s note: I tried to find more info but it seems like the mandalorian alphabet doesn’t have names for the individual letters so I used aurebesh (also I liked the little Dorn(e) meta in there). And sorry for the bad puns. They’ll keep coming.

Prologue

One - ...and we're off

***

You aren’t worried about taking a stranger on board, you’ve done that plenty of times before. You hope he’s willing to put in the effort himself, too, just as he promised at the assembly.

The stranger leaves behind his ship, saying a friend will come to pick it up together with whoever might want to join the cause. You spot him from the cockpit as he walks over with a repulsor pallet in tow. He stops for a moment when your droids surge past him, busy at their pre-flight tasks, before moving on towards the ramp.

All his baggage is a satchel at his hip and a small bag on his shoulder, and two large crates of weaponry. You put him up in the spare cabin, the one that had been Sal’ee’s, your former apprentice, before she went on to be a journeyman. He stands in the middle of the room, staring at the two cots on opposite sides of the room, the lockers, the fresher in the corner.

“All mine? Where will you sleep?”

You don’t understand the surprise in his voice.

“Over there” you show him, pointing at the cabin opposite from his. It’s much more lived in, some of the blankets and trinkets and pillows visible through it’s open door. “There’s a third cabin that I mostly use for storage but has more fold-up bunks in case I need to transport more people. That’s rare though.”

“Ohh.” He nods, then turns to look around his room again. “Okay. I thought all of these rooms were cargo space.”

You smile, and quickly think through your to-do list. You’ll have to rearrange your schedule somewhat but it’s not that big of a bother.

“Come on, I’ll show you around the ship.” Before he gets lost in its cavernous interiors, you might add - but you don’t. If his reaction to a separate cabin and his current ship - an old ARC170 - is any indication, he must be used to very cramped quarters.

***

Your trusty Brick, a beat-up YV 929, is armed to the teeth and ugly, just as you like it. The ship is a scavenged one, gutted from most of its original factory issue armaments, engines, and even wiring. It was perfect for your former master when she found it at a scrap heap: she wanted to rebuild it herself, deliberately piecemeal; panels sourced form here, engines from there, concealments added. She modified the inner workings of the engines so that the power lines could be redirected to a concealed forge.

That forge is your pride and the main reason you haven’t settled at a permanent place yourself. When your master retired from travelling, the ship passed to you, and you continued her mission of offering your knowledge and expertise to those of your people who otherwise had no access to an armourer.

…

The next standard month is spent with adjusting, both for yourself after getting used travelling alone again since Sal’ee left, and for the stranger who found himself a passenger on someone else’s ship. Apparently he used to live a very similar life to yours, with the exception that he was a hunter not a craftsman.

You travel together, share meals, research the places you are directed to. He joins in the effort that is maintaining the ship. Still - he is very taciturn at the beginning, keeping his words to the bare minimum. The first few days it feels as if you are still on your own aside of your droids. By the middle of the month, he progresses from short answers, through sharing information, to willingly starting to tell stories; but you know that chatting will never be his defining feature.

His armour seems to fill the spaces of the Brick’s corridors. You feel as if it’s not him who has the presence, but that set of glinting, perfectly made handwork of an armourer you already admire. Some of the pieces were sourced elsewhere, you can tell by the different shapes and designs; they seem haphazard and mismatched compared to the rest. Most of the set is the work of a single person. On those, there’s not a single uneven line, a broken curve, an edge at the wrong place. The angle of the panes of the metal, the ridges, the simplicity and elegance of them all - you have to hold yourself back from touching them, to admire them. You would give a lot to hold those pieces in your hand, to study them, to analyse them with your eyes and hands and with your tools.

You’re a master, yes. But so much knowledge was lost. So many masters gone, with their knowledge and their workshops. Apprentices became heads of Forges in the absence of the more skilled. The survivors still to this day have to piece together half-remembered lessons and forgotten details, experiment with techniques that were known before but the methods got lost as decades of civil war and occupation and murder kept eroding your heritage.

Sometimes a set of armour comes along that is just made in a way you never had an opportunity to learn. Often the person who forged them is long gone. Not the stranger’s armourer though. As far you can tell, she’s alive. Or at least was, when he last saw her. Not too long ago; though your usual method for guessing forging dates is mostly useless as it is based on the condition of the suit’s paintwork. Which he doesn’t have, so you can only guess from the small amount of scratches. You try to ask once, but whilst he’s forthcoming with general stories, he doesn’t go into details.

It’s a common theme with him. He talks about people and planets and events, and leaves out a lot - and you don’t even notice it first. Only when you try to glean information about his armour do you realize how well he fuzzes over those facts and nuances. It’s only up to the peculiarities of Basic and its use of gendered pronouns that you know his Armourer is a woman, or at least he considers them so. He doesn’t even tells you his own name, and when you ask your Elder in one of your communications, she tells you he didn’t gave it to them either. You keep introducing him as a friend, and that is the end of it for a while.

***

The visits to this first few coverts with him are… interesting. You can see him fidgeting from the corner of your eye. He always follows half a step behind and off to a side, as if not wanting to be in your way. He keeps quiet and doesn’t mix much, and around small children and droids, he is positively withdrawn. He only comes alive when he talks about his mission.

You had learned early on during your apprenticeship that keeping the helmet on is a safe bet when meeting with unfamiliar mandalorians. That led to later getting in contact with his type of believers too, despite their notorious secrecy even from the rest of the People. When you tell the stranger about that, he immediately showers you with questions, but you can’t give an answer to most of them. You never met with anyone from his particular covert, or heard of it. No name, no description seems familiar. It’s painful to watch his shoulders slump after daring to hope.

During the course of the month spent travelling, he gradually comes to be more social. He starts to stand and walk beside you. He doesn’t withdraw to the background anymore; he can actually be quite chatty if approached the right way. Droids still make him stop, though he warms up to kids in his own way. He’s good with them, at least in your opinion, though you know some would still call him aloof and distant. He isn’t a cuddler, nor does he crouch down to ask cutesy questions. He juts sits nearby them, and in that way of children having a good sense about adults, they know he’s trustworthy. They go up to him to chatter, to hand him a toy to hold, to ask him to fix a latch on their boots; than they go back to play.

He teaches you too, inadvertently at first during everyday conversations and later by his own volition, about his Way. About his Creed. It keeps throwing you off how much it differs from most that you had met before. Not even meeting briefly with people who followed the same Way as him could prepare you for the details that he does share. The degree of strictness, the loyalty, the barest bones Old Tradition beliefs and their willingness to follow them is very rare amongst the People as far as you can tell. Their devotion earns your respect.

At other times, your jaw hangs open and you can’t believe you are talking to an adult roughly around the same age as yourself, who by his own admission had spent three decades living as a follower of the Creed - not knowing about things children are thought through plays and songtime. His ignorance is so staggering, your admiration towards his unknown Armourer wavers. How could she keep so many things hidden from them? Why not talk about your own history? Your greats? Your artefacts?

About the many other who would call them vod’e, siblings?

You are an armourer, a craftsman, a person who makes a living by making things with your hand. You’re not a leader, or a scholar, or someone who decides what to tell your people. You do have a status within the community, but that is a status of service. From what the stranger says, their Armourer was a leader in every aspect: elder and lorekeeper and moral guide and more. All in one. It is something you can see developing from the old songs and histories amongst groups who take tradition more literally.

You are good at observing people, even at copying their habits to make them feel more comfortable with you, but less good at determining their underlying motives. The reason you think of him as “the stranger” even after travelling with him is because it’s so hard to figure out what drives him. There’s a melancholy to him that overrides the more typical mandalorian fight-readiness or aggression. You see how he gazes off to the distance sometimes, turning his head to the side and freezing. How he keeps to himself when he can. But you can’t tell why. Grief? Regrets? Determination to change? Planning something greater and being preoccupied with that?

He doesn’t pick fights to test you. He spars with you when you invite him to, he helps when you ask, and often even without it. He’s polite and considerate; he keeps conversation to practicalities and interesting stories, and doesn’t bother you with anecdotes or insistent questions about trivialities or your private life. He even does the dishes.

He’s deadly boring in his reliableness.

You are used to being on your toes around people all the time. When you meet a new group, it’s all unknown people. With ones you had already visited, the problem is having to remember them. They remember you of course, the ‘wandering armourer’; and surely you remember them too.

What is worse, when people stay the same but you don’t remember them, or when they change and you just can’t place them?

He becomes a good excuse after you’ve been to several coverts together. It’s interesting to notice how your dynamics change even further once you two get into a comfortable routine. You start to retreat to your forge and tools, and let him take all the attention. And he doesn’t just talk about his mission anymore, or lets little ones play around him whilst he’s quiet. He converses with people about news, about their children, about weaponry. You have more time to focus on your work.

Sometimes, people ask you what do you think of his mission. You tell them that you will follow what your clan decides, and that’s mostly true. It is something people don’t often debate, at least.

He quickly becomes a part of your everyday life. You are content with your usually solitary travels. You know that your family, your clan and your friends wait for you at home. They message you and you can find the time that suits you to message back. You don’t miss the constant hubbub of the covert most of the time. But now that you have someone that is not a droid, someone who is your equal in every aspect, on board again, it’s not even lonely anymore.

***

“So what’s up with you and droids?” you ask one day, after you got back from a covert and are safely in hyperspace to the next destination. You tinker with your astromech’s navigational systems. Poor 2-T keeps bumping into walls and crates. Again.

The stranger looks at you and your droid, than over at Mouse who for a change isn’t zooming around at foot level.

“Bad memories.”

“Gunk sat on you?” You tease. You hope it’s just something silly and not him having some sort of snobbish organics-are-better philosophy. He is quiet, and you focus on your work. He’ll talk if he wants to, that much you know already about him.

Inside the body of your astromech, a rivet from stars knows where is stuck between two circuit boards and blocks the access to a short-circuited piece of wire.

“Kriff. Toots, this will take a while, sweetie. Can’t access that kriffing panel.” He chirps back something and you read the translation on the small display. “No, it’s not that. My hand can’t fit in that small space. Let me find those pliers… should be in that other drawer somewhere.”

You search in the chest of tools, and despite your usually good organization, you can’t find them amongst the droids’ tools where their place is.

“Let me help.” The stranger’s voice beside you makes you jump. He can be awfully quiet. “Sorry. I think I might’ve put them back into the wrong drawer. I used them the other day when I fine-tuned that scope.”

He points at another drawer, where you keep your fine electronics stuff. No wonder he mixed them up. He stands beside Tootee a bit awkwardly until you find the tool.

“Here! No problem by the way. “ You turn back to him and to the droid, than have an idea. “Do you mind a bit more help? You can say no if you don’t want to work with the droid, I’ll understand.”

He doesn’t object yet, so you go back to 2-T and show the stranger the area you’re working on. You see him lean closer in your peripheral vision.

“That’s where I need to get that burned piece of wire out and install a new one, but first, I need to get that rivet out of the way.” You point at the root of the problem, than explain your plan, pointing out each part in turn. ”If you could hold those using this, than I could get here, remove this, with that tool, than have to get those bundles out of the way too, so than that wire there could come out. Easy.”

You look up at him, and his helmet is way closer than you expected. You can almost see your reflection in that black visor as it stares back at you for a second, and you almost apologize again, when the stranger starts to speak.

“Just have to hold the wires to the casing, or pull them like…” he moves his hand in the air, showing what he means.

“Hold them to that panel, there, with the pliers, so I have room to access the rest.”

He thinks for a moment, than he starts to tug one of his gloves off.

“You don’t need to take that off, just hold the pliers” you tell him, but he shakes his head.

“No, I can fit my hand in there, I’m pretty sure. If not we can try it with the tool.”

You realize that this is the first time you see his skin. Than it occurs to you that he might very well misunderstand this whole situation. You just asked him to hang his hand inches from yours in an enclosed space; inside a droid nonetheless, just after you basically told him you noticed he has a problem with them. It would be so easy to get caught up in there, to touch his hand, and hush it up as coincidence. Especially now that he took his glove off as well. He might even think that it was a careful plan of yours: have an area to work with were your slightly larger hands don’t fit but his might.

Your fingertips already tingle from knowing you can’t make mistakes. Which means you’ll probably do. He reaches between the panels and gets to the part where you got stuck. He wiggles his fingers a bit and scrapes around.

“Ha, found some wires. Are these the ones you need out of the way?”

You peer down into the quagmire of electronics, trying to find the best angle to see everything.

“Yes, those are the ones. Just hold them like that.” You try to focus on what you are doing, but after those earlier thoughts, your hands are jittery. You somehow manage to remove the obstructing rivet, than find the burned out part and replace it without accident, the stranger patiently holding things out of your way. You direct him here and there, occasionally stumbling as it’s a lot of instructions, or at least a lot of “could you please” and “thank you”. It gets particularly awkward when you stumble over the lack of name spectacularly.

“Could you pull those the other way, so they aren't that taut, please? Thank you, you. I mean thank you.”

“Din. Din Djarin.” Your head snaps up while the rest of your body freezes. “I should have told you my name sooner, but I’m so used to not telling it… and it just became more awkward to bring it up as time passed. I apologize.”

You close your mouth that of course was hanging open in surprise, than shake your head.

“I thought at first that I missed it when you said it so I was ashamed that I didn’t remember.” That did happen before, and it was one of your greatest worries about meeting new people. “I actually asked my elder. Sent her a comm. So when she told me you went nameless, I didn’t wanted to demand it.”

He doesn't answer right away. His voice is softer when he speaks a bit later.

“Thank you. For being considerate.”

You smile and try to wave it off. Which results in your hand slipping and pawing at his, still motionless and stuck in the inside of the astromech.

“Oh shucks, I’m sorry… didn’t meant to.” You withdraw your hand quickly, and start to look for your tools to cover your mistake.

He doesn’t seem bothered, luckily. You calm down, reminding yourself not to behave like you drank one too many glasses of your cousin Ree’s home-made tihaar, and finish the repair.

“You can let those go now, I’ll finish from here. Thanks for your help.”

“You’re welcome, any time.”

He sits back on a nearby crate and watches you work for a while, ignoring Mouse zooming around the room. You’re surprised a bit: you didn't expected him to stick around. And than he starts to ask about 2-T. How long you had him, is he temperamental, can you install a vocoder on astromechs, and why not. His tone is somewhat cautious, his voice stiff, like someone asking about a dangerous predator. You remember how you asked him about his distance with droids, but don’t want to push that question. He already told you his name today.

…

By the time you finish with the rest of the repairs, clean Tootee up and tidy around your workplace, interrupted by having to leave hyperspace and land at a spaceport, it’s the middle of the night in local time. You planned to have a nap and search out the local covert just before dawn.

You go to the galley to have a bite before turning in, and the stranger - Din, you remember, although his last name is less clear - is cleaning up some dishes. There’s another bowl in the middle of the small table, covered by a plate.

“That’s for you, if you’d like to have it. Used up the last of that spice mix we got” he tells you as you enter. You sit down and stretch your legs out one side. As you take the plate off from the steaming bowl, you think about how nice it is to find warm food on the table and not having to cook your own all the time.

“Thank you.” You pull the bowl close and take the spoon that he put beside it. You swirl the soup - it looks very good: clear broth with lots of veggies and other fillers in it - and gather your thoughts. “So ummm… I want to ask something before it gets awkward again.“

He finishes piling the bowls and cups and sits down on the seat opposite. You blurt the question out before you might change your mind.

“What was your name again? Din, that was clear, but the rest… sorry but it sounded something like “jarring”?”

He chuckles, and it’s a clear sound even with a vocoder, no snort or sigh to distort it.

“It’s Djarin. Dorn-jenth-aurek-resh-isk-nern. Djarin.” You nod, a bit embarrassed, and he continues. “Don’t worry, you aren't the first to ask. Probably not the last either.”

“Thanks for being patient. I’m not the best with names, to be honest.”

He tilts his head.

“Is that why you are always so focused when someone introduces themselves? I can ask them to repeat their names for me too if you want to, than both of us can try to remember them.”

You blink at him.

“That’d be…” Unnecessary, and don’t bother, and it’s not your job, you think - but stop yourself. That would actually help. No shame in accepting it. ”That would be nice. Thanks.” You are good at a few things, like making things with your own two hands. Not gaping when something surprises you, or remembering faces or names, any names, not just people? Nah.

You tuck into your soup, and the two of you sit in companionable silence. You wander if Djarin sits there because he wants to, or if he’s waiting for more questions from you. You asked a lot from him during the last few hours, and he was really kind with all his help and telling you his name and not being bothered when you misremembered it.

You are halfway done with your meal when he stirs. He leans forward with his lower arms on the table, and takes a deep breath. You wonder what his question will be - you commit to answer whatever it might be. He deserves that after today.

“So you asked earlier about me and… droids, right?”

Your hand with the spoon stops in the air. You weren’t expecting this question, at all.

“Yes…” You want to say he didn’t have to answer. But you already told him that. You’re sure he remembers that too - since he brought the topic up again. “Yes, I did.”

He shuffles on his seat a bit, and looks out to the side like he sometimes does. You lower your spoon and eat, letting him gather his thoughts.

“When I was a kid… I don’t know how old you were then, but during the war. The Clone wars.” You nod, understanding what he’s getting at, and he continues. “We were… the place I lived came under attack. Some separatist battle droids. Mandalorians saved me.”

You swallow your soup. That was the shortest possible description of someone having their entire life and probably everyone they knew ripped away from them and finding a new way of life for the decades to come.

“I’m sorry” you say, because really, what else is there to say. He nods, and gazes off again. Than he shrugs his shoulders, as if he wants to shake the weight of the past from them.

He gets up, and walks around the table on his way out. He stops beside you for a moment and hesitates, and you almost turn towards him to ask what he needs when you feel him squeeze your shoulder. Than he straightens and steps away.

It’s warm where he squeezed it, and you remember how long ago it was that someone touched you.

You need to talk to your friends asap, and hug at least some of them. He turns back from the door.

“Get some sleep before dawn, all right? Have to be sharp to remember all those new names.” You don’t see him wink but you’d bet he does behind his visor. You scrunch your nose at him and pout before smiling, and he dips out of the galley.

Your hand is still hovering in the air, holding the spoon, while you listen to his footsteps getting more distant as he walks down the corridor to his cabin.

It’s just your luck that you don’t need your wits the next place. It’s only two people with the same, simple name and you met both of them before.

[obviouslyelementary]

About They/Them (About Us) - Daforge

I do not tend to post my DaForge fanfics on tumblr but since this one hit close to home, I decided to post it here so anyone can see. 

Tags: Non-Binary Geordi LaForge; Binary Data; talk about gender; gender identity; genderqueer.

Warnings: none, this is soft. 

Words: 2k

---------------------

The alarm rang, signalizing that someone was outside his quarters. Data looked up from his painting, turning his head to face the doorway, tilting his head as he wondered who would be visiting him at such late hours.

"Come in."

Placing his brush and pallet down, he turned his whole body to the door, tilting his head once he saw Geordi coming inside. Geordi was always one to sleep late, or sometimes not sleep at all, but considering the hard work he had put on in the last few days, Data was slightly confused as to why his boyfriend was in his quarters instead of sleeping as he should.

"Can we talk?" he asked, and Data nodded, nodding to the table and sitting down. Geordi did the same, sitting across from Data and looking down at his hands, seeming quite uncomfortable for some reason. Knowing that to be a sign of comfort and affection, Data laid his hands over the table with the palms up, so Geordi could reach out and take them. And he did, squeezing Data's hands gently.

"Is there something wrong?" he asked, in a tone that could be considered worry. Geordi gave him a shy smile and shook his head, before sighing lightly and squeezing Data's hands again. That was a sign that he was nervous, but not yet sad or happy.

"No... not exactly" Geordi whispered, and sighed again. He had been sighing quite a lot, a human sign of anxiety and uncertainty. Data squeezed his hands back to show security, but it only caused Geordi to sigh again. "Sorry I'm very... nervous about this."

"Take your time" Data assured, watching Geordi and all his nuances. It was not usual, to see the engineer so out of his element, so Data made sure to study and observe all his reactions, how his brows furrowed, how he bit his lip without realizing, all the small twitches and flicks on his muscles. He was quite the sight, and also a very fun human to study.

Eventually, courage seemed to flourish in the engineer, and Geordi looked up at Data, his visor meeting with the android's eyes.

"Okay... remember when we visited the J'naii? Five months ago?" he asked, and Data nodded in agreement. "So, since then I've been thinking... quite a lot."

"About what?" Data inquired, trying to make this as comfortable for Geordi as possible. He was still perfecting his ability to calm humans down, it did not seem to be his forte, but he was trying his best. Geordi sighed once again, and shook his head, his head lowering down once more towards their hands.

"Well... about gender" he said, and Data tilted his head. Many theories rose in his mind, but he remained quiet to give Geordi space to formulate his next phrase. "I mean... about a society with no gender... genderless... sexless... sounds almost... crazy to me. I believe it sounds crazy to everyone in this ship."

"They were quite different, yes, but I believe a lack of gender identity is not the strangest characteristic we have found in different species" Data said, and Geordi chuckled lightly, in a nervous but also quite relaxed manner. His posture seemed to change, turning more relaxed, and Data made a personal note to try and make Geordi laugh more often.

"Yeah I mean you have a point" Geordi said, and sighed (again), squeezing Data's hand one more time. "But... never before I have been faced with... so many questions about myself before."

"Did our encounter with the J'naii made you question your approach to your gender?" Data asked, tilting his head and blinking as he accessed all the files available to him connected to human gender. Geordi would not know he was making that search, but perhaps it could answer some of Geordi's questionings. After a nod from the engineer, Data gave one of his own. "I believe most of the ship's personal was left with inquiries about gender identity after that encounter. It did seem to make most of the crew highly uncomfortable, although those feelings did not last for over two weeks."

"Yeah well mine has been lasting up until now. Not that I have talked to anyone about it" Geordi whispered, and seemed to become even more uncomfortable and unsure than he was previously. With a deep breath and another squeeze of Data's hands, he lifted his head again and looked at Data's face. "Data... what do you know about earth's twenty first century... non-binary term?"

"Non-binary. A person that does not adhere to binary gender conformities. A generalist expression to encompass all genders that do not align directly with male or female, or that align to both at a similar time. Examples are agender, genderfluid, gender-neutral, demigender, genderqueer, bigender, multigender-"

"Okay Data thanks" Geordi said, looking away, and when Data focused on him again, his face indicated a higher heat than the rest of his body. "Yeah... that's what I saw too. Apparently the idea of lack of gender has been used by us before... but abandoned for some reason."

"From what I can gather, the usage of non-binary terms was abandoned soon after space exploration began, to avoid confusion among other species" Data said, tilting his head. "Although it does seem to be an extremely narrow and unnecessary change, considering that many other species were found to have more than two genders during the Federation voyages."

"It's like racism Data. People just didn't like differences" Geordi mumbled, looking away and sighing. "Well... yeah. Turns out we once were open to the idea of many genders and that thought just... drifted off into space."

"However, I believe there are still non-binary people in Federation space" Data said, and Geordi looked at him again. "Even if it was abandoned by scholars, there are still pronouns and gender identities being used over at colonies and even Earth itself. So perhaps it is still not fully lost."

Geordi nodded slowly at that, looking around Data's room, squeezing his hands every now and then, seeming both tense and relaxed. After a long time in silence, he turned back to Data, and looked at him, pressing his lips together.

"Data... I think I'm non-binary" he said, as if it was crime confession. Data blinked slowly and tilted his head before he nodded.

"Very well."

Since Data did not know what else to say, they were in silence for quite some time before Geordi let out a nervous, restrained chuckle, shaking his head.

"God what else did I expect" he whispered, and sighed, pulling his hands away. In an act of instinct, something Data was not aware he had, the android held Geordi's hands tighter to keep him in place, and the engineer looked to him surprised.

"Forgive me. You believe you are non-binary. Go on" he said, and Geordi frowned.

"I don't think... there is anything to go on about."

"Of course there is. Tell me what you wish to tell me. How did you come to that conclusion? How will that change our relationship? Should I call you by a different pronoun?"

"Ooookay Data calm down" Geordi laughed and sat down more comfortably again, to Data's own relief (although technically he should not have felt nervous when Geordi moved). After fixing himself on his chair, Geordi hummed and looked at him. "I think... I might be non-binary, because of how much I related to the J'naii, in a way. I mean I know I still have the body of a man... and all that stuff, and I don't want to change it, but gender... the male gender... it's not really my thing you know?"

"I do not know, however I would like you to continue" Data said, honestly, and Geordi chuckled.

"Yeah okay. Honestly I just felt different my whole life... Not in a sense that I didn't wish to do what men did but... just... I don't know how to explain I just feel different. Like I'm not... a man. Nor a woman for that matter. I'm just... not."

"I believe that by the way you are describing your feelings towards gender, that you would meet a closer approach to the agender identity. A lack of connection with gender all together. Am I correct?"

"Yeah I guess so" Geordi said, and chuckled lightly. "It's... hard for me too, I never had to think about this until the J'naii... but like it feels so... clear. You know? Like it has always been inside of me, I just didn't see it."

"I, in fact, do not know" Data said and Geordi ended up giggling.

"Oh no? How do you know you're male Data?"

Data caught himself surprised by that question. He knew he was male, as he always felt comfortable with that approach, but how did he know? He had never questioned it before.

"Perhaps... it was the way I was programmed" Data suggested, in theory of course. "I was built with male sexual organs, and with a male anatomy. I was programmed by a male, and during my conversations with most of the crew I realized that I certainly act closer to a male than a female, even if sometimes I can act more feminine due to my looser approach to gender normality. I believe that doctor Soong programmed me to his image, the image of a male human, and therefore I have the characteristics of a male human, making myself a male."

"Would you care if people referred to you as madam Data? Or she?" Geordi asked, and Data furrowed his eyebrows.

"I would not emotionally care, however I would know they are wrong and correct them. Like I do whenever someone refers to me as an it."

"Yeah... so I guess you understand a little bit about gender too" Geordi chuckled, and squeezed his hand gently. Data looked at Geordi again, and nodded.

"Perhaps I do. More than I previously thought" he said, and leaned slightly over the table. "Geordi, from my researches, humans from the twenty first century that considered themselves agender usually used the pronouns they them to refer to themselves. It is considered a gender neutral pronoun, although there are also neopronouns that could be used in this case. Would you like me to refer to you, from now on, as they them?"

Geordi blinked slowly, clearly in a surprised manner to an unexpected event, and after a few seconds of consideration, he gave Data an unsure nod.

"Yes... I think I would like that" Geordi whispered, blinking slowly. "I mean we could try... I could be overthinking all of this. But I would like to try... as long as you don't tell anyone yet. Okay? Let's try among ourselves first."

"Sounds reasonable. Should I also refer to you as my partner, instead of my boyfriend, in all circumstances?" Data asked. He usually referred to Geordi as his partner anyway, but sometimes people required knowing Geordi's gender. Not that Data ever saw that as an important part of the relationship.

"I would like that" Geordi said with a new smile on their face, and Data squeezed their hand gently. "Thank you Data... I mean this could all be for nothing but..."

"It is a part of human experience to explore and discover more about themselves during their lifetime. If you realize this is not what you wished, I will go back. However if it makes you comfortable, I will do it. And I am glad you told me" Data said, and Geordi smiled wider, standing up and walking over to Data, shamelessly sitting on his lap and wrapping their arms around his neck.

"Thank you. I love you" they whispered, leaning in and pressing a kiss to Data's lips. Of course Data would never say it back, because he could not feel, but he responded to the kiss and held Geordi's waist to maintain them from slipping away, considering their lack of attention at their current position.

It truly did not matter to Data, if Geordi was male, female, or non-binary. All that mattered was the human experience, and how well they fit together, as friends and as partners.

The rest were just... human intricacies.

[jazy3]

Thoughts on Grey’s Anatomy: 15X18

I liked this episode better than the last one, but DeLuca and Owen still drove me nuts! I liked that this episode was more fast paced. The patients’ storylines were good and I really liked the side plots. The main plot though really sucked. One thing I didn't like about this week's episode is that it treated Meredith as a secondary character in her own story. She had few scenes and only propped other characters up. It happened in the previous episode as well. I don't understand this because we've only seen this technique used previously in standalone episodes, where it makes sense, but not in regular ones where it doesn't. It's not Karev or DeLuca's Anatomy. It's Grey’s Anatomy. The second half of Season 15 has gone off the rails!

Maggie introduces funky mood rooms as an alternative/complimentary approach to tradition medicine. It produces hilarious results. We learn DeLuca’s Dad has gone back to Italy. Him and Meredith appear to have temporarily broken up again. Ugh. We go through this EVERY episode! Can they just stay broken up?!?! There’s some Owen and Teddy and Tom awkwardness surrounding a birthing class. LOL! Gosh Tom makes Teddy so happy! I hope they make him a regular cast member next year! They can cut Owen or DeLuca or one of the interns. Just saying. And as soon as everyone leaves Teddy starts feeling intense pain! Oh no! She calls her baby Soldier! She gives it orders like a loving drill sergeant! I love it!

Meanwhile Alex can’t get a hold of Jo! He comes to talk to Meredith and it turns out Jo went to find her birth mother. Meredith is still knee deep in her research. Alex asks how DeLuca is. She changes the subject as usual. Very telling. Apparently DeLuca’s being weird (when is he not?) and he’s on Alex’s service today. Alex calls him The Italian! Haha! I love Alex! He’s so calling BS on this relationship while being supportive. That’s true friendship! Meredith says she’s giving DeLuca space because of the fallout from his Dad’s nonsense. Alex accuses her of hiding out with the plants.

Maggie and Amelia talk in the blue room. Amelia reveals she had some insanely good sex at the conference! And then Link walks in! And he accidentally reveals they slept together! Oh and it looks after the fire the hospital added a new sealable hallway to the helipad! It’s about time! Alex throws DeLuca a bone and gives him a chance to be the hero. DeLuca is ungrateful and a jerk. I hate this guy. They treat an 11 year old patient named Nora who is a math genius! She stumps Qadri and it’s hilarious! Her Mom is great too! Alex steps aside and let’s DeLuca get the hug from her Mom and the glory because he really is a good guy. Which makes how horribly DeLuca acts later so much worse. He’s so ungrateful!

There’s another Teddy and Parker scene. I like their dynamic. Tom and Owen are both at the birthing class. Owen gets Teddy’s page and doesn’t tell Tom. What an asshole! Teddy’s not in labour. Thank goodness! She has cervical insufficiency. Owen comes to see her. Meanwhile Amelia and Link have an awkward sexy talk about not telling people about their tryst. Amelia is hilarious! They agree to stay away from each other. That will last 10 minutes. Link is very sexy! He’s really growing on me. I wish Meredith could find someone just as good. Amelia and Link end up working on a mother who rolled her snowmobile. It’s a very difficult case.

Jackson, Helm, and Richard wind up working on the woman’s adult child who is gender queer non-binary and uses they/them pronouns. Richard finds using the pronouns difficult. I really like how this storyline was done. It felt very authentic and nuanced. Some good television here. Meanwhile Parker is quizzing Nora and Qadri. They find out Nora’s insulin level has shot up but they can’t figure it why. They have to postpone the surgery. Alex apologizes to DeLuca because the surgery’s been postponed. DeLuca says he should be sorry for Nora. He then throws a temper tantrum and asks if Meredith put Alex up to this. Jo used to do this all the time and it’s one of the reasons I came to dislike her character. It’s not a flattering look on anybody. DeLuca’s an idiot. He needs to grow up.

All he does is piss Alex off. Also DeLuca is lying. He hasn’t moved on and it shows up later. He should’ve taken a few days off work and seen a therapist. For a doctor he really can’t take care of himself. Meanwhile Amelia and Link find out their patient could end up a paraplegic and decide to work together. Qadri grabs Schmitt for back up! Numbers! Haha! Schmitt’s hilarious! Qadri, Schmitt, Bailey, and Maggie form a mathematical dream team and slo mo walk it to Nora’s room! Now back to Teddy. I love her line, “Insufficient is something I’ve never been called in my entire life!” I love her! Owen starts talking to Teddy’s stomach in a high pitched voice. It’s obnoxious. Teddy tells him to stop thank god! He starts talking instead in an animatronic sergeant voice. It’s hilarious and the only good thing he’s done all day.

Back at Nora’s room everyone’s being quizzed and she’s kicking their buts! Her mom thinks they’re being nice! She doesn’t know the half of it! Qadri accidentally finds a juice box Nora secretly drank. She’s sabotaging her surgery. Amelia and Link go see their patient. There’s a very emotional well-acted scene where they tell her she might be paralyzed from the neck down. Cut to the plant room. Alex tells Meredith that DeLuca’s being a jerk. She says it’s none of her business and that he has to work it out all by himself.

She talks about him like the child he is. Why is she dating him? DeLuca is then a jerk to Meredith. Again, why is she dating someone with the emotional capacity of a 2 year old? The team finds out that Nora sabotaged the surgery because she doesn’t want to go back to school because she has no friends and is being bullied. Been there. She likes being at the hospital because she has friends here. Nora refuses the surgery again and says it’s her body and her choice.

Alex and DeLuca talk with her mom outside. She’s upset that she didn’t know that she hated school and that she wasn’t friends with Lauren anymore. Alex gives her some sage advice. DeLuca rolls his eyes at her scared mom like an asshole. Then tells her she’s supposed to make her get the surgery today. That’s illegal. Unduly influencing a patient or their family is illegal. For good reason! To protect both sides from abuse. In real life DeLuca would be written up, possibly fired, and could lose his medical licence. This whole scene makes no sense.

Alex tells him to back off. He doesn’t. DeLuca says most kids hate school and get bullied at some point. Her mom counters and asks if she’s supposed to hold her down. DeLuca says yes impatiently. Alex corrects him and says no. All of DeLuca’s actions are immoral and illegal here. He is telling a scared mom to participate in the physical assault of her child who is a minor! This is so messed up! DeLuca’s a monster! He’s taking his own problems out on a mom and her scared kid! In real life he would be fired and possibly charged and sued and rightly so!

I hate him so much! Alex says it’s his patient and to back off. DeLuca then says he just wants her to not die. The mom angrily reminds him she’s not dying. Great now he’s delusional and an asshole and a monster. He tells that she’s in pain as if her mom doesn’t know that. He says she should make her get the help she needs. Which is illegal! It’s also clearly about his messed-up dad and not about Nora at all. He is beyond awful! Alex keeps a cool head and tells him he’s dismissed. He tells him to walk away or he’s fired. He should just fire him Vik Roy style. He’s a monster.

Qadri tells Alex that Nora’s glucose panel came back and it looks good. They can do the surgery if they can convince her. They find DeLuca talking to Nora after Alex specially removed him from the case. In real life that would be cause for dismissal or suspension. Alex tells Qadri he tried to help DeLuca out and now he has to fire him. I wish he would. He deserves it. When they arrive, he’s telling a story from his own childhood. He convinces her to get the surgery. It’s all very sweet but that doesn’t change the fact that he tried to convince her mom to participate in her own child’s assault.

Amelia and Link bond during surgery. Meanwhile Alex, Qadri, and Schmitt operate on Nora. We learn Qadri grew up in Utah. They all share stories of being bullied in school. Schmitt and Qadri are hilarious! Then DeLuca storms in. Alex reminds him that he’s not on this case. He tells him he’s the reason she consented to this surgery. Alex loudly reminds him that he talked to her and did that after he told him to stay away from her and that he meant what he said. He kicks him out of the OR as he should! Amelia and Link do great work, but their patient loses the signal in her limbs and she becomes paralyzed.

Back to Owen and Teddy. Owen is still talking to her stomach. Baby talk is actually bad for babies and children so I’m not sure why they’re pushing it. Teddy talks to her stomach and then freaks out that she’s a bad mom already. Owen comes and lies down next to her. One of the few nice things he’s done for her and his future child since she told him she was pregnant. God he’s such a jerk! Jackson, Helm, and Richard are in the OR. Richard is still struggling with the pronouns and tells a story about a mechanic that called him Ricky.

He fired him because he’s not a Ricky. Helm days that’s a false equivalent. Richard says he’s trying to understand and that he’s been called a lot worse than Ricky as a black surgeon at a time when there were very few. He says the world moves fast and he’s trying to keep up and adjust and their attitudes are not helping the process. He’s right. Jackson shares a story about a girlfriend he dumped because she called him Jacky. They share a laugh.

Back to Teddy and Owen. Owen says some nice things to Teddy and her stomach. And then Tom walks in. Tom calls the baby to be peanut! Awww! He calls Owen out for not updating him. Teddy says she didn’t want to worry anymore people then she needed to. Tom says he’s glad to be here. Then steps outside to talk to Owen. He asks Owen if Teddy had actually been in labour if he would have told him. Then Tom spills ALL the tea!!!!! He tells Owen he knows he doesn’t like him and he doesn’t care but if Owen plans to make a play for Teddy and show up with a ring and take advantage of the pain and vulnerability of a woman he’s hurt over and over again and abandoned he should rethink that. Yes Tom Yes!!!! You tell him! You go! Finally someone says it!!!!

He tells him further that and won’t lie down or walk away and that he’ll fight for her! Yes Tom!!! And that it will bring on a lot of drama and pain for the woman he claims he just wants to be happy. Spill that tea Tom!!! Owen says Tom doesn’t know anything about his history with Teddy. Tom corrects him and says that his history is that he chose Amelia more than once. Go Tom Go! Owen seems like he’s realizing this for the first time. What a tool. Tom says his history is that he loves Teddy!  Awwwww! And only her! And that she deserves to be with someone for whom she is the first and only choice! Yes! Finally! Go Tom Go! Amelia and Link have to tell Jackson’s non-binary patient Toby that their mom has been paralyzed from the neck down. It’s very emotional. Jackson can relate and gives some sage advice Webber style. Alex keeps calling Jo and not getting an answer.

DeLuca walks up to him and is a total asshole. He’s says he’s not just some intern he can kick around. Alex didn’t kick him around. He did his job as Chief / Attending Paediatric Surgeon. In real life DeLuca would be fired for this. This is insubordination. You do NOT talk to your boss that way! He tells Alex what he did was unprofessional. To his boss. The Chief of Surgery. WTF? DeLuca has the maturity and intelligence of an acorn. Again, he would be fired for this in real life. The only reason he’s not is because he’s dating Meredith on the show. Which makes this whole storyline and his behaviour even dumber. Ugh. I hate him. Alex calls him on his BS and says what he did was unprofessional. That the way he helped out Nora should’ve been the first thing he did. And he’s right. But that he’s too pissed at the world about his dad and that while he sympathizes DeLuca let it mess with his job and Nora’s amazing mom.

And it’s messing with his relationship. Alex is right. Also DeLuca should know that since he upset Meredith earlier. Seriously how stupid is he? DeLuca acts like Alex doesn’t know what he’s taking about despite the fact that he’s got over a decade of experience and is Meredith’s best friend. Seriously DeLuca is the worst! DeLuca asks what his horrible behaviour to everyone today has to do with ruining his relationship with Meredith. Gee DeLuca I don’t know. Maybe everything? Alex tells him not to let that happen and that when people reach out a hand you don’t bite it. Wise words. That he did it for years and that if you do it eventually people stop reaching out.

Meanwhile Maggie is checking Meredith’s stats & they’re off because she’s pissed at DeLuca. She gets a text from him asking her to come over. Maggie misinterprets and thinks it’s a sexy thing. Owen looks through an exam room window to see Teddy with Tom and Carina laughing and looking happy. He decides to walk away. FINALLY!!! Amelia is in the blue room feeling sad over what happened to her and Link’s patient. Link comes to see her. You all know where this is going! He takes her hands in his. She locks the door. They kiss and you all know what happens next. Also side note: They are going to have to bleach that floor because that’s blue ultraviolet light!

Meredith comes to see DeLuca at his house. She tells him she doesn’t do sitting at work wondering if her boyfriend is avoiding her or being weird. She’s past that point in her life. A few things here. She’s now calling him her boyfriend. Gross. She previously avoided the term and said he wasn’t. Also, her being past this point in her life is why shouldn’t be dating him! She’s at a different life stage and DeLuca is still very immature. She needs to break up with him and find someone more her speed. She’s not interested in it and has no time for it. DeLuca says he knows which makes him even more of a douchebag.

DeLuca says he needed a minute to be hurt. Which is fine but he should have take time off work instead of attempting to assault a child, screw up Alex’s day, and upset Meredith. I hate this guy. He has no redeeming qualities at this point! He says he’s had his minute and now he needs her. He makes everything about him. Never about her. Meredith has had enough of that in her life to last a lifetime! Thank u next! Meredith says maybe she needs a minute now. Yes! Take that minute! And keep on going! But she doesn’t. She laughs instead and they kiss. Ugh. DeLuca made her dinner. She is wooed by his cooking and his ability to speak Italian. Yawn.

Also, I get that Alex is worried about Jo, but he really needs to tell Meredith that DeLuca attempted to assault a child. She’s a single Mom with three small children under the age of 10. DeLuca is a danger to children! Also, as far as we know they haven’t even had sex yet so why is she doing this? This is not a long-term relationship. Why is she bothering with this? She doesn’t even know if he’s good in bed or not. This plot line makes no sense. Every episode since DeLuca took an interest in her is the same. DeLuca does something immature or stupid and upsets her or someone else. They break up. They get back together. At some point they kiss. Nothing ever goes anywhere. There’s no development good or bad. DeLuca keeps getting worse as a character. I don’t understand what kind of reaction they are trying to elicit from fans. This makes no sense at all. Alex arrives home. Jo’s luggage is there. She’s asleep in bed. He kisses her on the forehead and tells her he missed her. Jo opens her eyes. She looks upset. ‏ Now onto next week’s promo! It’s a flashback apparently as we see Jo go find her birth mother. It does not go well. The woman at the door says she can’t be here. They go to a diner. She asks who her father is. Whatever she says upsets Jo to the point that she’s breaks down crying. It does not go well. The promo ends with a warning that ‘Due to sensitive subject matter viewer discretion is advised.’ Which makes me nervous. Grey’s has covered a lot of sensitive subjects and I’ve never seen a content warning before. Someone on Twitter posted that they used one for the Season Six Finale which was the shooting episode. I’m easily triggered by things that come with heavy warnings so there might be parts of next week’s episode that I don’t watch.

That’s all folks! Until next time.

Au revoir!

[kingspoetrysoc]

Interview with Dan Bisset

Dan Bisset is an Irish first-year Classical Studies with English BA student at King’s. They wear a lot of hats: Dan is a poet, writer, actor, musician, singer and a social justice activist. They have proudly taken on the title of SJW and attempt to reclaim that name. Dan is currently working on a poetry cycle entitled Whole New World in conjunction with the King’s module Writing Race, Writing Gender. The poems in the collection are self-published and can be found at their Instagram @danbpoetry. The King’s Poet’s Jaylen Simons talks to Dan about their writing and how they are finding their voice through poetry.

How did you come to write poetry, and what are your feelings about it?

This is a difficult question. Poetry has invariably always been a big part of my life. I’ve been playing music since I was three, so rhythm and musicality have always been pretty natural to me. I started with Irish Traditional Music, which has a distinct amount of rhythm to it since it’s primarily dance music. It has various time signatures, rhythmic patterns and metres, and I think growing up with this musicality has impacted me strongly. Words and lyrics came later, and I think from my engagement with singing in a church choir. Church was all about music for me – I’m not religious – so being enveloped in the music and Lyric in different languages especially, really impacted me. The day I first decided to write poetry – as opposed to lyrics for music –  was the first day I posted to my Instagram, November 2019.

Poetry comes in little pieces. As I go through life, I collect fragments and bits of inspiration and mash them together, adapting and improvising when necessary for the writing. I write from experience and from things that resonate with me. Recently I’ve tried to write and sit down and come up with ideas – it’s worked for my Whole New World cycle; writing to deadline and submission. My journey started with moments of insomniatic inspiration as a result of quarantine and the exhaustion I was feeling.

That makes me think of Ruth Stone, and what she’s said about poetry being out there and something that has to be committed to the page and controlled on the line, or it’s gone. Is there anything from your modules that has inspired or guided your writing? 

Absolutely! I think about things I want to write, thinking that it can be a poem, but that I need the right tools. I started with an idea 99% of the time, or I’ll see something in the street or anywhere and think it would be a good title. In the Whole New World cycle I've been experimenting and playing with my studies. The cycle is specifically for this poetry for the Writing Race, Writing Gender module in English. We looked at Charles Bernstien’s experiments in writing to push ourselves. I took that on and made some poetry I’m very proud of. Being able to submit my poetry for grading – something I do as a hobby has been a dream come true! If we were allowed to do that for all assignments, I would.

Can you tell me a bit more about Whole New World? How has that been for you?

It has been emotional. As a trans person, it’s forced me to look inward and question my own beliefs, both as a poet and as a person. For example, when you say ‘trans woman’, what do you think of? Who are the people that come to mind? Who are the people that should come to mind that maybe don’t? Writing has given me a type of agency; the pen is mightier than the sword. Who is going to inspire me and has inspired me throughout my life? I have also had to represent a beautiful, multifaceted, multicultural community and do that in a tactful and nuanced way and make sure I’m not overstepping. In Track 9, for example – the title taken from Solange’s Don’t Touch My Hair – I wrote about the beauty of trans hair; Munroe Bergdorf, an English model and trans activist; and Emma Dabiri, an Irish-Nigerian writer. I had to consider the double meaning that hair has for women of colour. I also considered my own relationship with my hair and worked with titles taken from YouTube when you put in ‘trans hair’.

In terms of the poetry I write, Whole New World was a way for me to unpack a lot of the gender trouble I was having. Quarantine has been a time of self-discovery and the time when I came out to myself. I was also thinking a lot about SOPHIE – the late Scottish musician – and her music, and its direct affect on me. Whole New World has taught me about the trans person I want to be, for and on the behalf of other people. Through my writing I’ve also had to reconcile my identity as an Irish person, especially as we are starting to lose our connection to our culture. I’ve also had to think about being an immigrant and coming to the UK, a place that traditionally has been hostile to Irish people. My poetry has been a catharsis for me and my trauma and a way for me to articulate things. Whole New World has been a way to also think about happiness as well.

Do you have any tips for writers and for writing poetry?

The Notes app on your phone is going to be your best friend. I’ve mostly written through the Notes app, or digitally. I also screenshot what I write so I can come back to it and work on it further later. I write, review and then either refine the piece and post, or I’ll reuse any ideas for other projects and poems. Poetry can be written anywhere – the District Line, the doctor’s office. No matter how mundane or beige a poem may seem... Write it down! You never know if it could be used to form a wonderful tapestry of work. If you also write about things that interest you, you’ll never run out of things to write. Basically, write about things you enjoy and make a conscious effort to write down the things you enjoy. You can also take whatever image you have in your head and subvert it. If you’re thinking about a bird in a tree, tell the story from the point of view of the branch, not the bird. Play with the normal and make it extraordinary. 

You share work via social media and have a poetry Instagram, @danbpoetry. What do you think about Instapoetry and self-publication?

I think the digestible nature of it is interesting. It can also be insidious – like for example, Rupi Kaur taking the work of another poet. I don’t post all of my work, I save some of it and may use some of my work for other projects in the future. I’d love to self-publish even one copy of Whole New World – possibly more depending on interest.

I think there are definite benefits to using social media. Instagram was first designed as a catalogue and archival space. Instagram has been changed obviously with the rise of influencers and things. I primarily use it as a way to document my poetry so that I can go back and look at my work and how it’s developed. It’s also a great way to share poetry generally, in a lowkey way. Instapoetry is always accessible and people can view it in their own time. They are also more likely to engage and respond and give feedback too because of this.

Our generation and young people generally have a totally different view of poetry now – it’s all very academic and its definitions are more stringent. Having poetry online offers another view, one that maybe isn’t so geared towards Shakespearian sonnets or the poetry of the Victorians for example. The writing has changed too so we don’t necessarily think about writing in a strict metre and rhyme. Narrative for me has become very important, as has telling stories in a substantial and tangible way  – as substantial as writing on a screen can be! The poetry is also shorter; my poetry is usually on one slide.  I think about if that’s important and about how it will look visually on my feed. At the same time posting to Instagram means you can disregard the branding and the form, and how strict poetry has become, and focus on the writing and writing lots – writing with passion! Poetry can just be poetry. The abolition of poetic forms really excites me. Why would I not want to try something new? 

Things change, attitudes change and approaches to writing change and that’s okay. Your writing style can evolve. That’s part of the beauty of Instagram actually, archiving your work there and seeing the physical change in your poetry. It’s important to me that I don’t keep changing my work, and to keep this journey of mine intact  – as cliche as that sounds. Keeping it genuine. It’s important to look at narrative especially.

What are your thoughts of writing as an Irish person and even on Seamus Heaney, and Joyce?

Heaney is tough, and I say that with as much love as I can as an Irish person. He is THE poet of Ireland in my opinion – you can talk about Keats, you can talk about Wilde but I think that Heaney is great. Irish people know Heaney for his poems about the Irish spirit, for example Digging or Mid-term Break, rather than his adaptations of Archaic texts such as his Beowulf. Heaney’s work is more than Beowulf, which I think is a testament to how writing changes. We can see this in Heaney. He did not only write a version of Beowulf, taking inspiration from the ancient world and from history like a type of Ulysses-Joyce figure; he also wrote about peeling potatoes as well – a universal Irish spirit if you ask me. His work is also so very evocative and meaty. Mid-term Break for example changes your expectations: “Next morning I went up into the room. Snowdrops And candles soothed the bedside; I saw him For the first time in six weeks. Paler now,  Wearing a poppy bruise on his left temple, He lay in the four-foot box as in his cot. No gaudy scars, the bumper knocked him clear. A four-foot box, a foot for every year.” 

We expect the poem to be about a big strong man but it’s actually about a 4 year old kid. I bawled when I first heard it. It definitely speaks to this subversion of expectation.

You study Classics and English like me (!) so I wondered what you think about it – studying the two together? Classical writers like Homer and Ovid are doing this same thing with changing approaches to poetry. Would you mind discussing that further as well?

Absolutely, Classics and English go so well together; I wish more universities offered it. I knew when I was making my applications that I had to study both together. Studying the two together is so engaging. Homer was absolutely changing ideas in his day. I find nothing better than a reworking of ancient texts, be it feminist or queer, or any other lens of reading – I love it! Homer is a transgressive; it’s a thought provoking image. How he transcended everything – literature, philosophy, art etc. Homer was the Lady Gaga of his day, you couldn’t go anywhere without seeing his influence, he basically invented the idea of the polis – in literature – single handedly. I just think classical literature has so much to offer us, as does classical poetry. Things like the elegiac love poetry of Sappho have just as much angst as poetry does today. 

[scriptstructure]

I see tons of advice for how to write first drafts, but what's your approach for writing second drafts (or third and fourth drafts, for that matter)? How do you turn a mess into something more structured and resembling a proper story? Also, how do you know when something's done and it's time to just stop and send it out? Thanks for your time.

Ok so you’ve done it! You’ve managed to get all the way through the first draft! Congratulations! But the work isn’t over, of course. Now you’ve got a whole pile of words and a whole ‘nother slog to turn it into something comprehensible.

Second drafts (my favourite part of the writing process) are a different type of work to the first draft. The first draft can be described as telling the story to yourself. You need the big strokes, the details of who does what and goes where, and to fumble through the plot arcs from beginning to end. The first draft has a lot of figuring out logistics so that in the second draft you can fill in detail, nuance and so that you can hone things to the best version of what they are.

Much like writing the first draft, everyone is going to approach the second draft slightly differently according to their personal preferences. But here’s how I do it.

Step one: Take a break!

Seriously. You’ve just spent a long time highly focussed on one thing, your brain needs the rest. The longer the piece the more of a break you need. For short stories I take a couple of days to a week, novellas a couple of weeks, novels, you could take a month or so. Give yourself time away.

Importantly, this is time to forget stuff about what you were working on – don’t panic when you read that by the way, you’ll still have all your notes, you’ll still have the broad strokes of what it is supposed to look like, but with any luck with some time away, you’ll have time to forget the stuff that isn’t important and that gives you trouble with the work. You’ll forget which parts you got stuck on thinking ‘I’m not good enough to write this’, or ‘that day I was writing badly, that chapter sucks!’ 

Take the time. Forget. Give yourself room to get excited about the project again.

Step two: Re-read!

Sit down and read the book through from start to finish. Approach it as though you’re reading a friend’s book. Take notes as you go, but only on the ‘big’ stuff. Does the plot hold together overall? Do characters make sense and ‘feel’ right? Are there plot lines, or characters that appear and then aren’t followed through? Are there obvious ‘mistakes’ that you should deal with?

Step three: Re-organise!

You might have noticed things in your read-through that seem out of order, or that if plot points were switched around or shifted on the timeline, they’d make more sense. If it’s a matter of picking up chapter seven and plunking it between chapters three and four, then do that now. 

If not, then you’ll need to do more intensive reworkings. Draw up a timeline of the story from start to finish, and plot out the story in the new timeline, so that you can have an organised plan on how to go in and change stuff around.

NOTE: Do not work over your original files! 

Keep a copy of the original draft. For each change that you make, create a new copy to work on. Keep track of the different versions that you’ve worked on, and BACK THEM ALL UP! You don’t want to set out reworking the whole story, realise you don’t like the new direction, and then have nothing to go back to.

Step four: Annotation! 

When I say the second draft is my favourite draft, this is the step I mean. Personally, I print out the manuscript (A4, double spacing, wide margins), I staple each chapter into a booklet, and I go to town with colour coded pens and markers.

I go through chapter by chapter, and I note down the key point of the chapter, and map out the emotional and character arcs, and I jot down my ideas of how I can refine the execution of those things.

Then I go through each chapter, paragraph by paragraph, and I do the same. 

What is the purpose of this paragraph? 

How can it be executed in a more effective way? 

What can be added to make this paragraph better? 

And what can I cut that is clogging up the story?

Step five: Rewriting!

Open a new blank word document, and retype the story from your annotated copy.

Yes. Rewrite the whole thing.

You’ll end up getting creative with your wording, you’ll make connections that you hadn’t consciously thought of before, you’ll cut stuff that really isn’t important enough to bother retyping but that you would have felt bad about deleting. The rewrite is key.

Step six: Re-re-work!

At this point, you could probably do with another break from the manuscript, you could say step 6.0 is take a break, step 6.5 is re-re-work.

Just like in step one, take a step back, and read your story as though it was given to you by a friend. Take notes on any issues you find, think about how the prose flows, and how the plot works and if the characters are doing the things they should be doing.

You can go back and repeat any of the above steps if you find more problems that you want to deal with, you can even just go through this whole process a number of times until you’ve got something coherent.

Step seven: Review!

Time to get an outside perspective: ask a few people whose opinions you trust to read the manuscript. If there are particular elements of the story that you feel you need to work on more, you could ask them more pointed questions (did you feel like the protagonist’s actions in the middle bit are justified by what they experienced in the beginning? Etc), or you could ask them for their general thoughts and feelings as they read it.

Make it clear that you’re not looking for corrections on spelling, or grammar. Take note on the feedback you get, but don’t take any of it as gospel. What this is, is giving you the opportunity to see what some other people get from your story, and whether what you think it says lines up with what other people think it says, and how you feel about the convergence or divergence of those opinions.

NOTE:

While I’ve written this out as an orderly list, you will probably find that many manuscripts need more of some steps than of others. Some will probably need no re-organising, but will need a whole lot of work on the prose. Some might need complete reorganisation but the prose is fantastic already. You might find that some works need a lot added to them, while some benefit by being cut back severely. Each manuscript is going to be a different beast to work on.

All of this is what would be called ‘substantive editing’, that is, edits that involve content, structure and narrative. While it is fairly important for legibility that you’re working in as correct grammar and spelling as possible, it will not be perfect. 

The second round of editing, once you have the work in pretty much the shape you want it, is line editing. Going through and giving your prose and word choices close attention, making sure that every sentence is pulling its weight.

The next round of editing, when the substantive and line edits are done, is the copy edit. You can attempt a copy edit yourself, but these are more usually done by professional editors either hired by the author, or as a part of the publishing process.

And that’s how I approach the second draft!

I hope that helps!

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