#ask kurt wagnerandrpwithhim

[ask-theredman]

@ask-kurt-wagnerandrpwithhim

Azazel comes home to the sight of his barely 21 year old son hanging from the stairs by his tail, looking hung over and exhausted, and the remnants of what could only be assumed to have once been a party Kurt wasn't supposed to be throwing. The speakers are still going but have long since blown out and the flashing multicolored lights have died out, indicating the party had started a while ago and simply hadn't stopped until Azazel was due back from his trip. Unfortunately for Kurt it would seem he had not enhereted his father's intelligence, only his mutation

The sun was rising gracefully on the beach as the gentle waves lapped the shore. The whole scene was so calm and inviting on the side he was facing, that this path could only lead him to a great new morning...

Unfortunately, his house was in the opposite direction from this almost magical view... That meant his morning wasn't going to go so well.

The first thing that should have alerted him to the 'situation' was the fact that he could see holes in the walls of their house from more than 20 paces away.

A trail of passed out Blue Bamfs, surrounded by candy wrappers, led him to the epicentre of the chaos. His Red ones, who had been travelling with him, tried to shake some of them awake but to no avail : All they managed to get out of them were a few mutterings that could be translated as "No more taxi rides out of the party".

That made him frown.

'So much for a relaxing walk on the beach.'

As he crossed the unusual trail to the entrance of his house, a dozen or so footprints of varying sizes in the sand gave him a hint of what had happened, but what they could not do was prepare him for what lay behind the door...

His eyes found it hard to focus on just one thing.

The Red Bamfs who accompanied him inside found themselves in a similar situation : Those who weren't all wide-eyed and aghast at the sight before them scattered to assess the damage. A few Red Bamfs mechanically unplugged the speakers, their eyes never leaving the scene that welcomed them home.

Finally, Azazel's eyes focused on something or rather someone. Hanging upside down from the stairs by his tail like a damson plum, just as passed out as his little counterparts outside.

Azazel was impressed. In the worst possible way.

He kicked the soft mattress off the divan and landed it right under his son. This startled his Bamfs and brought them back to the present. He gestured for them to hold the half-discarded hammock on the floor a few feet above the mattress, which they managed by holding onto to some furniture.

Azazel then teleported up the stairs and with a quick flick of his hand like he had done this a thousand times before, unfastened Kurt's tail from the railing, causing him to fall all the way down onto the hammock and then the mattress.

[antvnger]

Scott’s watching tv and sitting on his couch, and then suddenly the *bamf* right in front of him makes him all but jump out of his skin. “Shit!” He hisses loudly as he jumps and gets into a defensive position.

His hand is in his pocket, pulling out his suit’s device, but he stops short when he realizes who is there and what just happened. “Kurt! Geeeeez, dude! Gimme a heart attack, geez,” Scott takes a couple of breaths as he registers Kurt’s words. “What? Multiverse hoppers? Yeah sure.” He points to the kid in Kurt’s hands. “The hopper in question?” @ask-kurt-wagnerandrpwithhim

[kiera-just-kiera]

@ask-kurt-wagnerandrpwithhim

Kurt had been dead a while longer than he'd hoped for this time, but as per usual he couldn't be kept from those he cares about even by the rules of his own religion. He'd jumped from heaven, landed on his own grave, and had to walk home since jumping from heaven to earth was exhausting as always. As he approaches the door he sees his reflection in the window, noting he's not identical to how he was before death but also not too far off, most people probably wouldn't even notice the difference, he certainly couldn't be bothered to pinpoint it right now. "Honey, I'm home!" He calls out into the house as he opens the door, his tail dragging tiredly behind him. He could use a nap after that death, dirt naps just didn't cut it like they used to

Kiera is fuming she opens the door. Grabs her husband by his neck and pulls him inside. Tossing him onto a chair, and Immediately starting to yell at him.

“What the hell is wrong with you?! Do you have any idea how worried I was!” She’s left the front door open in her rage.

[the-realraven-darkholme]

@ask-kurt-wagnerandrpwithhim

Kurt bamfs around looking for his mother, bored and knowing she's usually up to something entertaining. When he finally finds her, he decides to try and sneak up on her

“We’re in front of a glass covered bookshelf dear. I can see you. And even if I couldn’t I know the smell of brimstone.” Raven says closing her book. She sends her wine glass down.

“What’s up?”

[kiera-just-kiera]

@ask-kurt-wagnerandrpwithhim

Monster character: No one could love someone/something like me

Me:

[hiya-sugah]

Kurt bamfs Infront of Anna and kisses her forehead, grinning ear to ear, "love you sis!"

(@ask-kurt-wagnerandrpwithhim )

“ARE YOU CRAZY?!” She screeches.

“AH SWEAR BETWEEN YOU AN’ REMY IM BOUND TO GET A STRESS ULCER!”

She’s beginning to turn a bit blue as she shouts.

[ask-wolverine]

(@ask-kurt-wagnerandrpwithhim )

Kurt bamfs next to Logan with ice cold beers in each hand, "hey! I've got beers and a pirate ship, vant to avoid Hank viz me? He keeps trying to get me to go see a dentist"

“Imp, why does Hank think you need to see a dentist?” Logan asked looking up from his motorcycle.

[ask-theredman]

@ask-kurt-wagnerandrpwithhim

Kurt sits at the kitchen table nursing a coffee, a splitting headache and upset stomach, completely hungover from getting super drunk while temporarily evil

As he was preparing his coffee, still in a complete brain fog, he failed to notice a small red presence in the corner of the room, watching his every movement.

... Nor did he notice it sitting by the coffee pot he was using.

... Or when it was staring at him from across the kitchen table he was currently sitting at.

"Do our every meeting need to include you being hangover from now on?"

A familiar voice rang from the doorway, one he hasn't heard in weeks.

[kiera-just-kiera]

@ask-kurt-wagnerandrpwithhim

[antvnger]

@ask-kurt-wagnerandrpwithhim

Kurt bamfs into Scott's living room looking dejected. "My fiance is busy, my sister is on a mission, and neither of my mother's want to spend time with me, one of them called me clingy... I'm having a rough day"

Scott jumps out of his skin at the sudden bamf and the appearance of his friend, hissing a choice word under his breath. That is something he’s not sure he can actually get used to honestly.

But then he hears how rough a day Kurt is having, and he softens. “Aaw, Kurt buddy, I’m sorry. C’mere and sit down a spell. What do you need? You want some iced sweet tea? Want a distraction or a chance to vent? What would help make the day better?”

[kiera-just-kiera]

@ask-kurt-wagnerandrpwithhim

Kurt knocks on Kiera's door. He got sick and he felt terrible and he can't breathe through his nose, and he just wants comfort. His sinuses were so bad he could barely even see straight, he doesn't do well with face pain at all

Kiera answers the door, she’s in her pjamas but it’s clear she’s been up a while. There are lit candles in the room and papers of sheet music strewn across her desk.

Ayesha snoozed in her little cat bed.

“My love? What is wrong? you look pale.” She takes his chin in her hand.

[the-realraven-darkholme]

@ask-kurt-wagnerandrpwithhim

Kurt runs behind Raven and skids to a stop, looking like he got the shit beat out of him. "You're nuts if you zhink I'm going to a hospital villingly!" He shouts at Hank as he enters the room, chasing Kurt. "Keep acting like a scared dog and I'll send you to a vet like one! You can't even move your tail, you probably broke it, you're nursing your arm like it's been snapped in three places, and you hit your head during that fight! Now, I don't have the equipment here to treat you, so your options are to come willingly, or I get the tranquilizer and drag your ass unconcious!"

"He's threatening me, mama!"

Raven merely grabs him by the ear.

“You’re driving Hank.” she shouts down the hallway.

“And don’t you even think of bamfing away. Or I have a list of things to tell Kiera…”

[antvnger]

Thank you so much @wizardcherryblossom

🥰🥰🥰🥰

@stxrked @inz-lokisdottir @arandomnerdsrp358 @spideymn @silently-judgingyou @indoraptorgirlwind @askazara @neonsoundbite @benevolentgodloki @thegrandharveyspecter @redxinmyledger @askmyocsandrpwiththem @ultimategamernerd @doctorstrangeaskblog @waspofhope @og-ant-man @haroldtsaxon @guardian-rocket @born-to-be-mischievous @jeff-the-landshark @askthecloakoflevitation @deafarcher @byondtheveil @w0efulsoul @sah1x1s @ask-the-restorer-of-stars @ask-kurt-wagnerandrpwithhim @ask-spider-men @thek2b @stripesofbrooklyn @mxtalwings @sobeautifullyobsessed @koffeebiscuits and I know there are people I missed (I’m sorry!😭) but I love you all so very much!

Favorite tumblr blogs?

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ㅤㅤ(ㅤ𝗂 𝗁𝖺𝗏𝖾 𝗆𝖺𝗇𝗒 𝖿𝖺𝗏𝗈𝗋𝗂𝗍𝖾 𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀𝗌ㅤ)

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𝓯𝖺𝗏𝗌 𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀𝗌: @kiwicidios @runroneadita @ifjoon @delistelar @gigittamic @giraisol @dollienini @espuor @lirte @liriosdelvalle @chuurittos @i04rei @i92-93 @agsthv @angelsui @senderodeorquideas @faireii @kooelita @s-olaries @v6mpcat @f-leuris @bunittos @sagekthv ㅤ 𝗇𝖽 𝗆𝗈𝗋𝖾𝖾𝖾.ㅤ ✿

[adopt-all-the-mutants]

You could also ask Margali, I'm sure she'd rather teach about horses than continue to work for the same asshole who locked her son in a cage once he bought out the circus

“He f*cking what?!” Charles chokes on his tea.

“KURT!” He screeches.

“KURT WHATS THE NAME OF YOUR CIRCUS IM BUYING IT! I’m buying all the property the damned bastard owns too. I’m buying shares in all his companies and then kicking his ass out!!!”

@ask-kurt-wagnerandrpwithhim

[ask-theredman]

Cooking with Dad ™ (II)

From @ask-kurt-wagnerandrpwithhim:

Part I

Part 99 - Interrogation: Start Part 100 -Do you know 'mama'? (Which one?) Part 101 - Does she know you? Part 102 - Did you meet 'blue mama'?

Part 103 - He still talk to her, doesn't he? Part 104 - About 25 years ago... (36 actually) Part 105 - Can you handle sugar? Part 106 - That's a no answer tho Part 107 - Interrogation : End Part 108 - Completely innocent Part 109 - Until proven guilty Part 110 - No blaming here Part 111 - Do you want a deal... Part 112 - Or a stare-off? Part 113 - Stern to a fault Part 114 - He changes subjects when troubled too Part 115 - He tried here at least Part 116 - Azazel and Margali Part 117 - The Circus 1 Part 118 - The Circus 2 Part 119 - The Ringmaster 1 Part 120 - The Ringmaster 2 Part 121 - The Ringmaster 3 Part 122 - The Ringmaster 4 Part 123 - Revenge or not revenge? Part 124 - More on the fun Part 125 - Azazel and the circus folk Part 126 - He left them too Part 127 - The past is in the past Part 128 - Gossip under the big top 1 Part 129 - Gossip under the big top 2 Part 130 - Gossip under the big top 3

Part 131 - Gossip under the big top 4 Part 132 - Gossip under the big top 5 Part 134 - Dumb assumptions Part 135 - Just gross (feat. Anna the half demon) Part 136 - Envy and lust Part 137 - Sabu 1 Part 138 - Sabu 2 Part 139 - Sabu 3 Part 140 - 3 (then 2) old friends Part 141 - The Brimstone Dimension: Time Part 142 - The ghost of a presence Part 143 - The Ringmaster 5 Part 144 - The Phone Cronies 1 Part 145 - The Phone Cronies 2 Part 146 - Kurt's bad rep in the HFC Part 147 - The London Hellfire Club Branch 1 Part 148 - The London Hellfire Club Branch 2 Part 149 - The London Hellfire Club Branch 3 Part 150 - The London Hellfire Club Branch 4 Part 151 - The fatal flaw

[ask-theredman]

'Of all the things he wounded up being an expert at, this ought to be my least favourite.'

"I'll take your word for it..." He sighed out in relief before getting startled by Kurt's shriek.

Watching his son urgently fumbling with his shirt, he skipped the basic step of asking if he had gotten impaled by a tree branch and went on to verify it himself...

His shirt was damp, yes, yet as cold as the snow slowly falling on them.

There was no warm blood blossoming on his chest, just water from the melted ice.

It was a false alarm...

Unless Kurt kept on pulling at his shirt in all possible directions, like he was still doing.

"Alright, you really need to stop." Even though the situation could escalate at any moment, his drunkenness made him let out a chuckle from the ridiculous sight before him. "The only result you'll get if you go on like this is successfully catching a cold."

In the dead of night, the peace within a forest field was deeply perturbed when a door suddenly opened and, with it, an entire tavern appeared seemingly out of nowhere. The light at the entrance shun almost as brightly as the moon and the stars in the sky.

'... How many times has this happened again?' Azazel thought apathetically as he felt himself getting flung head first a dozen of feet forward.

He flipped upside down midair, more as a reflex rather than a conscious decision, before slamming back first against the bark of a tree.

This should by all means be painful but seeing how much alcohol was in his system at this very moment, saying he feels numb would be as much of an understatement as saying the blanket of snow currently covering the area was deep.

He slowly slid to the bottom, landing almost soundlessly in a snow pile.

"If I EVER see your face at MY TAVERN again, the next place you'll be landing at is the foot of your MAKER!" Shouted the tall Wolpertinger, fangs bared and pheasant wings defiantly spread before loudly shutting the door behind her.

He rose from his spot mechanically and shook the snow off his hair.

'So why do I feel like I'm missing something this time around?' He mentally noted as he stared blankly in front of him, right at the spot where the tavern used to be.

Usually, he would have been on the move by then on the account of those new flakes falling from the sky right onto him. Yet, he found himself unmoving, almost waiting.

Just then, the magical building reappeared right as the door opened once more.

"And TAKE your frosted DOPPELGÄNGER with you!" Another found himself thrown out by the tavern owner to be left with him in the now empty field.

Landing a few paces away from him, on his own separate snow pile, was his son.

'Someone. It was someone.' He finally took his first steps away from under the tree and moved to closely check on Kurt after quickly digging him out of the snow.

"Still amongst the living?" He asked, half joking half genuinely concerned.

Kurt groans, "unfortunately... In all zhe times I've died, it's not been nearly as cold as it is here." He sits up, not really used to being thrown into snow piles in the woods and having landed face down. He gets as much of the snow off his face as possible but some of it ends up melting a bit and going down his shirt, causing him to shriek, wide eyed and desperately trying to get the cold liquid out from under his shirt