#ask guidebent

[nia1sworld]

Are Skynet's headphones are noise canceling, Bluetooth, or..just her headphones?

Ask guidebent #1

[bytheangell]

Something Worth Protecting - Chapter 4

3x10 Coda Fic (Read on AO3) 

Jace took Magnus’ place on the balcony after he stepped back inside. Whether he did this because he actually wanted to talk to Maryse or just to give Magnus and Alec the privacy of an empty loft, Magnus didn’t know, but he was grateful either way. Magnus made his way down the hallway and stopped just shy of the open doorway to the bedroom. He listened to his own racing heartbeat, to the sound of Alec coughing lightly from the bed, and took a moment to steady his breathing and force the smallest hint of a smile onto his face before willing himself forward.

“Alexander,” he said, voice soft, doing his best to sound hopeful even if he couldn’t quite manage ‘happy’.

“Magnus,” Alec said, eyes giving Magnus a once-over and stopping at his stomach. Magnus looked down, momentarily confused before he remembered that he still hadn’t changed since he arrived back home. He took off his coat and black vest when they were too restrictive against the fresh injury, leaving only the lighter silver-grey dress shirt underneath which was properly stained through with blood - mostly his, but some of Alec’s, too.

“I’m fine.” Magnus said quickly. Maybe a little too quickly, because Alec said nothing and only quirked a scarred eyebrow. “Hey, I’m not the one with a hole in my chest.” He tried to laugh, but the sound got lost in his throat because he couldn’t bring himself to actually make light of the situation even now that they both seemed to be in the clear. Instead what came out was a choked, strangled noise that sounded dangerously close to a sob now that he was looking at Alec’s pale features, noting the way he couldn’t hold himself upright without the support of the wall behind him.

“Come here.”

It wasn’t a question, not like Magnus would have the power to deny it even if it was. He was at Alec’s side in an instant, ignoring the pain his own sudden movements caused him. Sat carefully along the edge of the mattress so as to not tilt it and shift Alec at all, Magnus did his best to look more at ease than he felt.

“How are you? Catarina said you should be fine here for now, but if you want me to call her back, or if you want to go to the infirmary at the Institute--” Magnus started, but stopped when Alec shook his head.

“I’m fine. I just want to be here, with you. That’s all I need right now.”

They’re words that were meant to be a comfort, a reassurance. Magnus knew that, but it didn’t stop them from stinging as the weight of them hit him. “I wish that were true, Alexander. But I can’t be the help you need anymore.”

“...Magnus?”

There were tears in Magnus’ eyes, his own goddamn body betraying him with reactions he fought the best he could but to no avail. He needed to be strong as much for himself as for Alec just then, and he couldn’t. He couldn’t be what Alec needed.

“It’s nothing that can’t wait until later, dear. I’m just glad you’re alright.” He thought he could have this conversation but that was just another thing he was wrong about. Not yet, anyway… he needed more time. “Can I get you anything? More pillows? Something to eat?”

“No. Can we just-- we need to talk about it.” Magnus winced. Alec couldn’t even bring himself to say the words out loud.

“I’m fine. We really don’t have to talk about it right now.”

“You gave up your magic.” “I did. And talking about it isn’t going to bring it back, so can we just drop it?” Magnus snapped, and immediately closed his eyes against the harsh tone of his own voice. “Sorry. I’m sorry.” And just like that the momentary anger is replaced with a swell of soft regret, like the flip of a switch.

Alec leaned over, attempting to bring an arm up slowly to rest around Magnus’ shoulders. “You should be sorry-” he started, and Magnus jerked back instinctively, not expecting him to agree. Magnus saw the guilt written all over Alec’s face, just another burden added to an already full plate. It’s a weight Alec will carry every time he looks at him now.  “-you know I would never ask that of you. You never should’ve agreed to it.”

“Yes, well, my father didn’t provide a lot of alternatives that didn’t end with either you, or Jace, or both of you, dead. I did what had to be done.”

“But it didn’t. We could’ve found another way.” Alec insisted, changing his mind and bringing his arm down with a wince to rest it at his side more comfortably, fingers now laced in Magnus’ instead.

Magnus only shook his head. “A second later and I would’ve been too late as it was.”

A silence fell between them, not entirely uncomfortable, but far from pleasant with the heavy thoughts that weighed on both of them in the moment. Magnus opened his mouth like he wanted to say something but closed it again instead. Centuries of speaking more languages than he could keep track of and he couldn’t find the words he needed.

“How are you?” Alec asked, unable to just pretend nothing was wrong. Magnus couldn’t blame him - he’s positive this was the first time he shed a single tear in front of him. Clearly he wasn’t alright.

“I’ll be okay. It’s just going to take some time to adjust to… not that I have much of that left anymore.” He muttered the last part bitterly and half-under his breath - but Alec heard it, letting the words sink in.

“What does that mean?” The question was asked with a hesitance that gave away the part of him that didn’t want to know the answer, already fearing he had an idea of what Magnus would say.

Magnus, however, said nothing. His gaze dropped to his lap, staring intently at his hands instead of up at Alec.

“Magnus, what aren’t you telling me?” Alec’s voice was worried but insistent, and yet Magnus’ eyes remained resolutely downward. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t look him in the eyes and tell him that it wasn’t just his magic that was lost. He could barely stand the guilt in Alec’s eyes before, and to imagine if he realized… if he knew…

Alec raised a hand to lift Magnus’ chin, Magnus’ gaze forced upward. “Hey. Whatever it is, we’ll figure it out. Together.”

It was the last word that broke Magnus, sending the tears he mostly blinked away before to return with a vengeance. Will they? How could he ask Alec to stay with him, to stand by his side, when this wasn’t what he signed up for? First Magnus lost his title of High Warlock, then he lost his magic. Alec didn’t fall in love with someone mundane. Magnus would never be that person again.

“I’m dying.” The words left his mouth without emotion - cold and flat, an objective fact spoken as calmly as ‘it’s raining’ or ‘we’re out of coffee’.

Alec’s eyes dropped immediately to the wound on Magnus’ side, not fully understanding. “Were you hurt?”

Magnus shook his head. “No. I mean, yes, but that’ll heal in time, Catarina saw to it well enough. But I’m not dying from that, Alexander. I’m just… dying.” He didn’t know how else to say it. It wasn’t from being sick, or an injury -- not yet, at least, though one of those could fell him now just as easily as any mundane. The thought was enough to send a shiver down his spine. “My immortality came from what I was. I didn’t just lose my magic to Asmodeus…” Magnus’ voice trailed off again. He said it one too many times already, he didn’t want to say it again.

He didn’t have to this time.

“You lost your immortality.” Alec’s eyes were damp with fresh tears. He clenched his teeth together, jaw set firm, but Magnus saw his adam’s apple bob up and down with several pained swallows as Alec tried to hold back whatever emotion, whatever cry, built up behind the words. “Magnus, I-” Alec started, but the sentence never continued, because he didn’t know what to say.

“It’s alright. I get the feeling. I’m at a loss, too.” Magnus huffed out a laugh but it was a bitter, derisive sound.

“Why would you-” Alec started, but stopped again. “How could you--?”

Magnus wondered if Alec would ever be able to finish a sentence spoken to him again. The pain in Alec’s voice, the hint of anger, of betrayal at the decision made without him, stung Magnus to his core. He hated that Maryse had been right, but he wasn’t surprised.  

“I already told you. There was no other choice. We were out of time.” He sighed, suddenly allowing himself to feel tired now that he’s finally sat on the edge of the bed with nowhere new to run off to and no one new to speak with. He was here, with Alexander, and it was where he’d remain for quite some time. He could rest to an extent, but the moment he allowed himself to simply be he felt the weight of centuries pull down at him.

Magnus was tired, and not just from the day’s events.

Alec stared at him. He looked like there was plenty he wanted to say but he either couldn’t, or he was holding himself back. Magnus imagined if it was the latter that he should be grateful for the strained silence.

“It isn’t like I wanted this. I didn’t plan to lose my magic and come back mortal when I went down there.”

“What did you think was going to happen? You knew there’d be a price to pay-”

“-and I knew I was willing to pay it, whatever it was. To save you. Because losing Jace, having to kill your own parabatai, would’ve killed you. And if you hadn’t, then he would’ve killed you. I’m not sure you’re aware, but I love you, Alexander. And in case there was any doubt before, there is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”

“I would never ask you to die for me, Magnus.”

“You wouldn’t have to.”

Another silence fell, less uncomfortable than before, but still with that underlying current of resentment and sadness.

“How long will you-- how does it work?” Alec asked next, doing his best to keep his voice level. Magnus saw what he was doing: Alec was going into ‘soldier mode’. Emotional detachment, fact gathering, assessing the situation, finding a solution. There was no solution, but Magnus could humor him for now. They’d both been through enough today that if this helped he was willing to play along.

“I don’t know. I can’t say I’ve ever known of a warlock willingly giving his powers away before. There’s no guidebook for this one, I’m afraid. I could simply start aging from where I stopped, or the centuries could catch up faster.” Magnus paused to consider that since he hadn’t before. There hadn’t been time to think very hard about any of this beyond the surface recognition that it was happening and a thin veil of acceptance at the realization. “The fact that I didn’t die the moment I used Asmodeus’ magic to kill The Owl bodes well for the former though.”

It was the best he could offer. He couldn’t promise forever, he couldn’t even promise the next few years, or months. All he could offer Alec was the hope of the full remainder of his lifetime. The best-case scenario, if he still wanted it.

“You don’t have to say anything until you’re healed and have time to think it over. I’ll understand if this isn’t what you signed up for, but I’m here for you, either way.” Magnus said the words and watched as the expression on Alec’s face morphed into immediate confusion.

“What are you talking about?”

“Us. You fell in love with Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn. Not Magnus Bane the helpless mundane who isn’t even sure he knows how to work the unnecessarily complicated coffee pot he owns without magic.”

Alec shook his head. “I fell in love with Magnus Bane. Period. Title or not, magic or not, I love you, Magnus. No matter what. And I meant what I said before - we’ll figure this out together. No amount of time or thinking is going to change that.”

Fresh tears sprung to Magnus’ eyes at the declaration and he nodded, not trusting his voice enough to say anything else for several long minutes.

It was enough to keep Magnus going in a moment when he wanted nothing more than to give up. It wasn’t anything the others hadn’t already told him, and he knew this was far from the last discussion they would have about it, but to hear it come from Alec left him with the first inkling of actual hope for whatever future he might have left. No - whatever future they might have left. Because it wouldn’t be spent suffering alone, not while he had Alexander by his side.  

“Alright.” Magnus nodded resolutely, the word that broke him down just minutes before now working to pick the pieces back up. “Together, then.”