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[littncr]

‘ i can’t take it. ’

(   *   &.   –  5 SECONDS OF SUMMER YOUNGBLOOD LYRIC STARTERS.  /  accepting.

✪ ✪ ✪

Hearing Simon’s words, HEARTBREAK loosened the lines of the normally strong and battle-hardened sniper, leaving her face slack and looking as if it actually belonged to the person she really was — a GIRL who had seen far too many people die, a girl who had stood POWERLESS as far too many of the ones she so readily gave all of her heart, her soul, her TRUST to were so brutally ripped away from her hands by the unforgiving world.

Keda was one of them. And then Kaia. Mycee. Nashika. Now… It was Kamina.

Yet another name had been added to the list always draping over the skeletal hand of the patron of the DEAD, yet this name stung markedly more than any of the others combined. Kamina. Kamina. It was a name Yoko had learned such a short time ago, and yet it had become so poignant, such an integral part of all that was EVERYTHING.

That was why Yoko couldn’t even FATHOM the pain being dealt with by one who had known the name since he was a small child, little more than a TODDLER perhaps, from what she could discern. She didn’t even want to TRY to understand it, because she knew that her own pain was more than enough. Adding onto that pain even more for the sake of ‘lending a hand’ or ‘being a friend’ would not have done neither her nor Simon any good. Yoko knew that Simon was strong. He had proven it countless times. What he needed during a time like this, Yoko felt, was not PITY, nor false understanding — but rather, what he needed most right then was sound advice. And, ironically, he needed to know that he was not alone in his own unique feeling of hurt. And, in a more singular way, of despair.

There were so many things that Yoko wanted to say, but couldn’t say at the moment; interestingly, there was only one thing that she could seem to emit verbally.

         ❝simon. I’m … sure it must be hard for you right now. really hard. but          you have to stay strong. if you don’t, then his death will be …❞ 

Everything will have been for nothing. She stopped herself before she could slip up and allow herself to say the words that hung so heavy like a truth she couldn’t accept --- couldn’t VALIDATE, no matter what. Soon, after a shaky inhale and a holding of breath:

         ❝… I’m sorry. to … to be honest, simon, I’m not at my strongest. I …          don’t think talking this out is the best thing for EITHER of us right now.❞