#ashesrebirthed jackie 01

[feminaferitas]

@ashesrebirthed {jackie} is huddled outside when Nat returns...

Nat and Travis had a lot of shit to sort out. That's what they determined when they left the cabin after the botched mess of a Doomcoming (which could have been pretty fun up until that absolute clusterfuck of Lottie-fueled bullshit, all things considered). But everything between them sort of paled in comparison to the fact that they couldn't find Javi. The nights were getting colder and the food was scarce -- so where could he have gone?

As much as she wanted to help Travis, both teens were still raw over the betrayal that had transpired. Sleeping with the enemy, if they wanted to get cute about it. But... there was no time for that now. There were too many broken pieces for Travis for Natalie to pick up -- better they focus on the freshest ones, where the edges were sharpest.

She'd done too much already for this to be the way it went. She broke his dad's goddamn finger off for that ring he gave to Javi. She was the one picking up the gun to feed the team, when food could be found. To lose anyone now felt like failure. It felt like a waste of survival. They were not losing anyone else if they could help it. Least of all, Natalie didn't want to watch herself losing Travis day by day. It was in his eyes, a light receding and dimming.

"We'll go back out first thing in the morning and look for him," she grunted as they returned to the cabin. Her vow was gruff but earnest, all she had to give at this point. The crash site was too cold for an overnight venture now. Better to be back with the team, where Javi may have already returned. But as they approached in the dusky clearing, a sight caught her eye -- huddled in her varsity jacket, Jackie. Sitting on a stump alone in the woods, looking like a fucking pariah. Natalie rolled her eyes, inwardly groaning. The waning light in the cabin window was warm and buttery, so what the hell was this about?

Natalie put a hand on Travis' bicep and urged him to go inside. He did quietly, without question. Then she tromped her dirt-crusted boots towards the place where a fire would have been, for anyone slightly competent in survival skills.

"Hey, c'mon -- the fuck is this about, Jackie? This the next step of your hunger strike, or --?"

[feminaferitas]

The ghost of Jackie Taylor is haunting Wiskayok High and @ashesrebirthed {keiko} is here to investigate...

Some said they saw the Jersey Devil roaming the campus at night, particularly near the soccer fields. Others wondered where the creature got a varsity jacket.

Shauna's words echoed in Jackie's thoughts. Jackie's spirit, in turn, echoed through the halls.

[high school was the best your life was ever going to get]

Maybe because it was all she really knew, short of returning to her parents' home or the Sadecki household. But there wasn't anything there for her, not really. But the high school still held some semblance of her time there -- yellowed photos in frames, cheap trophies encased in gold paint. Her jersey number, retired in memoriam. High school was the best her life was ever going to get, because there wasn't a life to follow that.

Jackie didn't know exactly what happened out there after she died, but something was keeping her from resting. Perhaps a part of her still laid in the wilderness -- perhaps instead a part of the wilderness still resided in her. And while she mostly looked like the perfect princess who had died too soon, sometimes in the light of the moon, a pair of antlers draped in gossamer and twin shone through.

But tonight there were footsteps. And not just delinquent teens sneaking into the school (though Jackie sometimes liked to fuck with them, especially the boys staying late from sports). She willed herself through the walls, rattling a ghostly fist on the inside of the lockers just to see if they'd scare easily. There was a woman and two men, from what she could tell -- all unfamiliar. But this didn't look like a late night PTA meeting... they had equipment. Like, Ghostbusters chic. Okay, maybe not that intense but suddenly, Jackie was feeling a little more like she had company.

For better or worse.

"You shouldn't be here," she hummed matter-of-factly. Jackie didn't make a practice of proper 'haunting' but she wasn't exactly a peep show.

[feminaferitas]

Nat only hesitated a moment when Jackie stopped her at the door. The rifle was still upright in her hands, thinking about everything that had happened in the last few days. Fuck the accident, this was their reality now and they had to accept that -- but if the turn of winter meant suddenly they were going to devolve into orgies, assault, and leaving their own out to die... Natalie wasn't going to let that go without a reminder about what hunters did to rabid animals.

She turned for only a moment to look at Jackie, her eyes filled with mourning and anger. The girl sucked her lower lip for a moment if only to quell its trembling before she found her voice. "I don't exactly know anymore. I'm going to do what's right, I think?"

God, Nat hoped this was right. She was never exactly going to win Miss Congeniality with her teammates, even after forcibly sobering up and picking up the rifle. But fuck, she wasn't a bad person. Or at least, not as bad as everyone wanted to paint her to be.

"Hey, assholes."

She opened the door slightly before kicking it in with her boot -- even with few wild creatures left roaming the woods, they couldn't risk a winter with a broken door. The bitter chill followed her inside as Natalie leveled the gun at whoever was still downstairs. The team was in various states of sleeping and recline, comfortable and safe and apparently giving no shits about Jackie outside. Coach Ben was one of the few who appeared to be wide awake, sitting by the fire. A genuine dread filled his features as he locked eyes with the hunter.

"Woah, Jesus -- Natalie, fucking put that down, now."

"Last I checked, we were a fucking team. We didn't hunt each other for sport, and we certainly didn't leave each other in the cold to die."

The barrel end of the rifle scanned the cabin as if seeking the source of the conflict. Its dark nose sniffing like a trained dog as Natalie desperately tried not to let her body shake with the anger and fear she felt. Was Jackie even worth it? After everything they'd been through... Fuck, they were just kids, in the end. And Nat knew that back home, no one gave much of a good goddamn about her outside of what she could do for the soccer team. Maybe it was the same here. She hoped it wasn't. If she couldn't hold a gun, would they have left her to die too? Her mournful gaze then passed to Travis, who kept his own eyes low -- Jackie was still a sore subject between them, blue as a fresh bruise. Now with Javi gone, so was the light in his eyes.

Mari piped up next, crouched near her bedroll. "She didn't want to be here anymore, not with us crazy people." Her voice was almost proud to repeat the insult, wearing it like an armor to justify her actions.

Natalie scoffed, moving the gun towards her and watching the girl's confidence wither entirely. Suddenly, the blonde was doubting herself about whether the rounds inside were spent or not. She kept her finger off the trigger, refusing to make the revelation. It was enough that they believed she had power, enough that they believed her fuse was finally short enough to stoop down to their level (or that maybe still, she was climbing up to meet them).

"What's going on--"

Then Shauna appeared in the closet with the ladder, and it was something magnetic between her and Natalie. The hunter adjusted her grip on the gun, holding it so hard her knuckles were whitening, all in an attempt to stabilize herself. The pregnant girl had eyes like a deer, like the kinds of prey animals Natalie hadn't found for weeks and weeks, except for the beast with worms in its gut.

-- K-CHAKK --

"God damn it," Nat cursed, to herself and to the others as she pumped the shotgun. She could feel the sting of salty tears welling up, the emotions wracking her every nerve. "We are not animals. We are not going to start carving ourselves up from the inside. You all hear me?"

Without her knife, Shauna had an almost innocent quality about her. But Natalie could still see the berry-red stains hugging her lips, the darkness in her eyes. Both girls were on the verge of tears, but Natalie wouldn't budge, even as Shauna's hand moved to her stomach and her muscles twitched in hopes of retreating to the attic. She had something to do with Javi, she knew, and everything to do with Jackie. Whatever darkness had overcome them that Doomcoming night, Natalie could swear she saw it delighting in Shauna's innocent eyes, in her innocent babe.

"It's okay--"

But the darkness and the wilderness took a radiant human form in Lottie fucking Matthews, who suddenly stepped between the gun and the girl, staring into Natalie's reddened eyes with an unflinching, eerie composure.

"She won't do it, Shauna."

"Oh yeah, Lottie?" Saliva wove between her words and her lips as Natalie finally unclenched her jaw, almost annoyed by the taller girl's confidence and calm. "You think I won't? Cuz I thought there were a lot of lines we wouldn't cross out here, but we're all full of surprises, aren't we?"

Natalie's words should be reassuring. Maybe on some level they were. But all Jackie did was shrink further into herself, mouth pressed against her knees - not that it mattered, when speech was lost to her by now regardless.

I thought she of all people here might understand what it takes to keep the team alive out here. Well, if Shauna did, she clearly didn't give a shit. Not when it came to Jackie, at least, and that was what hurt the most. Jackie would've died for Shauna. Would've cut herself up and bled and let Shauna take and take and take whatever she needed, as long as Jackie had it left to give - but Shauna wouldn't do the same for her.

She was happier to leave Jackie out here to rot. Happier to hold a knife to Travis' throat, happier to fuck Jackie's boyfriend and give birth to his fucking baby than acknowledge that maybe, just maybe, something had gone terribly wrong along the way. Gone so wrong that Natalie, who barely any time at all ago had looked at Jackie with daggers for eyes and sworn keep talking and I'll find something to shoot, loved Jackie more than Shauna ever did.

Happier with anything that let her look away from that fact that whatever had died between them wasn't really the wilderness' fault, but her own. Even if what she left behind in the process was Jackie herself.

Jackie was so, so fucking tired.

But Natalie fucking Scatorccio, fire and steel and Artemis incarnate, wouldn't let her rest here. Wouldn't let her end here.

Of course she fucking wouldn't.

"Nat, what - hang on -" Despite herself, Jackie felt compelled to follow. She scrambled up and after Nat, as fast as she could with bones half-frozen. Only her blanket came with her, clutched tightly in hands she wasn't sure she could unfurl right now if she tried, the rest of her bedding left abandoned in a sad little pile behind them. Coming to a halt behind Natalie at the door, it wasn't the cold that shook Jackie's voice when she asked: "What the fuck are you gonna do?"

[feminaferitas]

Natalie noticed how Jackie couldn't even look at her -- and she couldn't feel anything but sadness at that. This wasn't the Jackie Taylor she knew, with puppy dog princess eyes that could sparkle and shine their way into just about anything back at home. That girl once had the world on a silver platter and now here she was, afraid she'd be served up on one. None of them were the same girls who had gotten on the plane, that much was certain. Or maybe most terrifyingly of all, they were the exact same as they'd always been, stripped to their barest selves.

But the bottle-blonde knew things had changed. Hell, before the accident she used to use drugs nonstop to numb the pain of living. But even with the secret stash she'd found hidden under the porch, Natalie didn't crave that deadened feeling out here. Maybe because feeling the pain of everything was what scared her into continuing -- into doing whatever it would take to keep from losing anyone else in this nightmare wilderness.

"Y'know what, Jackie? Maybe I will. Tell them, I mean," she said, standing and looking back over her shoulder at the cabin light. Most would be sleeping now, but how they could close their eyes knowing Javi was missing and Jackie was being exiled was beyond her. Yeah, everyone here was scared, but most of them didn't bear the weight of knowing if someone died of starvation, of being cold and lost in the dark, it would be their fucking fault. Natalie was invaluable, but she knew they'd turn and point their fingers at her the second shit went sideways.

Isn't that what just happened here?

"You don't have to go in alone, Jackie, but I can't leave you here. You know that," she said, her voice deathly low, every word laced with the gravity of the situation. "And I didn't see what went down with you and Shauna, but I thought she of all people here might understand what it takes to keep the team alive out here."

Natalie picked up the gun, not slinging it over her shoulder this time. Her temper was rising, her heart gripped by guilt -- no fucking meat to shoot, no fucking Javi, and a cabin full of girls who turned into a pack of wolves because of one bad shroom trip. You gotta own up to that shit -- Taissa and the others never shied away from giving her a hard time back home, but how many of her highs ever ended in a total fucking murder attempt? Nat checked the rifle's cartridge, tested the weight of it in her hands, and then looked down at Jackie.

"I'd offer to make you a fire but that wouldn't solve anything. And we both know staying the night out here isn't the answer," she said frankly. "I won't let them touch you, but this shit? Ends now. C'mon, Jackie."

And Natalie barely waited for a response before marching up to the cabin door, hoping Jackie could find the will to follow.

"Yeah, well, tell that to them." Jackie watched as Natalie crouched down, and for but a moment their eyes met - Natalie's burning with a fire that was so alive, her own slowly turning to ice - before Jackie looked away. It was too painful to hold for any longer.

She still listened, though. And honestly, Natalie was right. But how could she go back in there? How could she be around any of them right now, least of all Shauna? Shauna, who hadn't come out to her, whose betrayal stung far worse than anyone else's. If she could hold a knife to Travis' throat, if she could throw Jackie away like everything they'd ever had meant nothing, just how much else was she capable of?

"Hurt myself? I..." Gaze snapping back up toward Natalie, Jackie trailed off. There was no refuting it, was there? She had barely eaten at all lately. Fucked Travis so she wouldn't be a virgin when she died, not if, despite the fact she didn't even like him. Refused to leave her fireless huddle, even though she might actually start to freeze over soon if she didn't.

Eyes wide, Jackie twisted around to look at the cabin. The light emanating from it, warm as it looked from here, soft as it should be, felt sinister. Wrong. Was this the kind of shit Lottie felt? Or was it something far worse - something far more human?

"I - I can't," she stuttered, even as another shiver wracked through her entire body, making it all the more difficult to turn back around. "How am I supposed to just - walk back in there like nothing happened? Shauna hates me. None of the rest of them want me there, either. They'll fucking eat me alive, Nat." And she wasn't even sure how much of an exaggeration that still was, not any more.

[feminaferitas]

Natalie stood and listened, somewhat surprised that Jackie actually opened up to her. Their team captain always had this aloofness about her, not in a bad way, but in a way that suggested she only wanted everyone to see her at her best. That everything was fine and if it wasn't, she was pushing that shit down and smiling despite it all. Yeah, she was a champion at her little princess pout, and Jackie hadn't been shy about letting everyone know that she was having a hard go at roughing it out here. But this was different.

"Shit, Jackie... Wait, a fucking bear?" Natalie had missed a lot. And to hear Shauna was keeping secrets... that was a surprise too. Like sure, she was always journaling her feelings and shit, so having a private inner life wasn't out of the question, but to actually manage to get out from Jackie's thumb enough to fuck her boyfriend? Repeatedly? And get pregnant from it? At least mention of a bear meant they might have more food.

A small ember of resentment burned in Natalie's chest for a moment -- for the way the team had given her so much shit for her own lifestyle, her own sexual activities. Everyone was always calling her a slut, and even Travis had a fucking blow-up about the Bobby Farleigh situation. She wasn't even mad at Shauna, who was her own person and could make her choices, however bad. A part of her was acutely aware that this was a chance to dig the knife in on Jackie -- who had been a total dick to her about Travis this whole time. But Nat didn't want to stoke that fire. It wouldn't keep her warm -- it would burn her up from the inside. So she had to be the bigger person. In truth, she couldn't feel anything but sympathy. For both Jackie and Shauna and the lessons they would have to learn in the wilderness.

"I know they would have killed him," she muttered, her voice low and tinged with regret. "But that's no reason to leave you to die so they can pretend it didn't fucking happen." Natalie took the rifle off her shoulder and used the barrel as a sort of walking stick, gripping the metal cylinders as she squatted down in front of Jackie to get to eye level.

"So, that's it? Jackie fucking Taylor is going to let them all kick her out of the cabin tonight? Look, I don't blame you for not wanting to be near them, but it's getting darker and more dangerous out here every day. And I know Travis would give anything to have Javi back inside safely tonight," she said, trying to keep her voice level and resist letting frustration creep in at the ridiculousness of it all.

"We've all worked too hard to survive out here and I'm sorry, but I can't sit and watch someone hurt herself twenty feet from the cabin door if I can help it. It's already going to be hard enough sleeping knowing we've got someone lost in the woods. But right on our porch? C'mon, Jackie..."

Though she didn't verbally respond, the mention of Javi softened the sharpest of Jackie's edges, just by a little. God, Doomcoming had devolved into such a nightmare that she'd practically forgotten the kid had run off. How had he not come back by now?

Then again, it wasn't as if Jackie was itching to be around any of the rest of them, either. Maybe Javi was smarter than her for staying gone.

Then, Natalie pushed. Groaning, Jackie rubbed her hands up and down over her face - the blanket clutched between her thumbs and forefingers trailing after every movement - before pulling them back away. "Fine. You really wanna know? Shauna -" Her voice broke pathetically over the name. "Shauna's baby daddy? It's fucking Jeff.

"They didn't just fuck once, either. But she - they -" Swallowing heavily, Jackie had to force herself to continue. Because how could she make it clear how each word penetrated beneath her skin, deeper than any of Natalie's bullets could've ever tried to? How could she describe the way her skin now crawled at the thought of the girl who was supposed to be her best fucking friend, all the girls who were supposed to be on her team?

"And everything yesterday? They're - they're still acting like that shit was fucking normal. Like I'm the crazy one, because I won't thank the goddamn dirt for a goddamn braindead bear - and won't act like it's normal that they turned Travis into some - some fucking prize to claim - to hunt! Like they wouldn't've killed him if you hadn't shown up when you did!" She didn't even know if she still was making sense. Couldn't tell if her shivering was only out of cold any more, or anger, or fear. "And Shauna, she..."

Jackie trailed off, bottom lip trembling. She couldn't say it. Couldn't repeat back every single painful barb that had torn away at more and more of her heart.

Tragic. Boring. Insecure. High school was the best your life was ever gonna get.

Had Shauna ever even loved her? Or had this hatred always been there, simmering just beneath the surface, simply waiting for the right opportunity to tear out her throat? "Shauna wanted me out here. They all did."

Not that she wanted to be in there, either. Jackie could brave the cold for one night, couldn't she? She had to try, if it meant not having to cower under the thumb of Shauna's wrath, of Lottie fucking Matthews' insane cultish bullshit.

And if she couldn't even do that much... maybe she'd deserve whatever fate awaited her out here. "I can't even look at her right now. And, sorry, but I'd rather freeze my ass off than get locked back up in the fucking closet again."

[feminaferitas]

"You have no idea what you missed tonight, Natalie."

Yeah, Jackie was right -- Natalie had no clue what was going on here. She had been so wrapped up in trying to keep a moment's peace with Travis while they went looking for Javi. Did anyone else really realize he had gone? It was probably their actions that scared him off too. Javi was all Travis had left, as much as the older brother butted heads with the younger. Still, sometimes the fight didn't mean you loved them any less. In fact, it hurt even more when they were gone, because you had cared too deeply, too fiercely. Travis didn't even want her help...

Nat retracted her offered hand, but remained rooted in place. She crossed her arms over her chest, the rifle's strap shifting slightly. A part of her began to wonder why she cared so deeply if this is how Jackie wanted to be. Natalie wasn't a caretaker, skilled in nurturing and gentleness. She was a hunter, who excelled in bringing creatures closer to death. But Jackie wasn't an animal, she wasn't prey. And maybe, deep down, Natalie couldn't risk standing idly by, waiting for fate to take its course. She already had her father's blood on her hands, the sound of the gunshot echoing in her mind.

When Natalie took aim, others died. But they did so still when she chose to do nothing.

"Jackie, I'm not -- god. I just spent the rest of our daylight looking for Javi, and I -- we -- couldn't find him. I'm not going inside knowing there's two people out in the cold when they both don't have to be."

Natalie didn't want to be good at shooting. But they were lucky she was, wasn't that what everyone said? And they were lucky Shauna didn't shy away from skinning the kills. But it wasn't like they were out here with their fucking Girl Scout merit badges. Yeah, it was a pain in the ass Jackie didn't even try to do things like getting water -- but before the crash, the only thing any of them had been focused on being good at was playing fucking soccer, and none of that shit mattered now.

"Look, why don't you tell me what I missed then, huh? Please, e-e-enlighten me, Jackie. Because maybe I'm just not that imaginative, but I can't think of anything worth freezing alone over after everything out here."

"That's not -" Cutting herself off with a frustrated huff, Jackie shook her head. Words evaded her, jumbling themselves together thickly on the back of her tongue before she could move to spit them out.

How could she say it? How could she tell her? Spill her heart out to someone who barely even liked her on a good day, that the one person she thought would always be there for her - the one person she loved the most, would have thrown herself into fire to keep safe - was the reason she was out here. The reason she couldn't go back in.

Natalie's coaxing wouldn't work. Not when Jackie knew she didn't give a shit, either. If Shauna didn't, who would? "You have no idea what you missed tonight, Natalie."

And of course, even now, tonight was turned back on her. Her fault, again. "Yes, I fucking tried!" Jackie snapped, voice rising to the cadence of something wounded, something desperate. Even when she did try, she could never fucking win out here. Forever branded lazy Jackie, useless Jackie.

Weak.

You don't matter any more.

Maybe Lottie had been right. Because even worse, was that everything she'd thought had mattered, everything she was good at, meant nothing now. Every time she tried to help, it only made shit worse. Why keep on trying?

"I already know I'm the worst one here at all this shit, okay? So if you're just - out here to rub it in, you can go join the rest of them already." Finally Jackie looked up, if only to shoot Nat a withering glare. She doubted the shivers wracking her body made the motion all that intimidating, but she didn't care. What did a wounded animal have left but to bare its teeth?

[feminaferitas]

Yeah, maybe everyone was going crazy. But that didn't mean they had to become savages. Natalie couldn't resist the urge to roll her eyes as Jackie retreated further into the rough fibers of the cabin blanket. She had so many choice words for the team captain about her actions lately, her part in the chaos -- always giving Nat shit about going off with Travis and then she goes and takes him for herself.

But Natalie didn't own Travis, and he was a big boy and could make his own goddamn choices, as shitty as they were. And Lottie and the wilderness didn't own him either, for that matter.

She saw the way the other girls had gone wild after being dosed with Misty's mushrooms. Natalie handled it better than most due to her experience with the hard stuff. Higher tolerance for all that -- but not for the bullshit that accompanied it. And for as mad as she was at Jackie, there was no need for them to have locked her in the closet while they howled like wolves through the trees. And she saw what Shauna did with the knife and how close they all came to having no Travis at all.

"Ugh," she groaned. Natalie stayed standing, but moved in front of Jackie, offering a hand. "C'mon -- everyone tripping balls and tweaking on berries and mushrooms isn't enough of a reason to freeze your ass off outside, Jackie."

Nat so did not want to be the one to broker any sort of peace between parties. And the class queen was more than capable of making her own decisions. But this? This was dramatic and dangerous.

"I mean, did you even try to make a fire? How long have you been out here anyways?"

Jackie had lost track of how long she'd been out here by now, huddled up and shivering. Hours, maybe? Long enough that the sun had set, and with it came in a new wave of cold - one that, of course, she couldn't even make a fucking fire to fend off.

I feel sorry for you. Because you're weak.

She couldn't go back in either, though. Not after the fucked up shit they all pulled at Doomcoming, yet somehow she was the one ousted as if she was in the wrong. Not after looking at her best friend and only seeing a stranger standing in her place, one not only willing, but gleeful to tear Jackie apart limb from limb.

They'll never know how tragic and boring and insecure you really are.

Footsteps echoed through the clearing, but from the wrong direction. Dirty boots, not converse, came to a halt in front of her. Jackie knew they weren't Shauna's - knew every inch of Shauna from top to bottom already, no matter what she'd said to the contrary - but for half a second, just the barest moment of time, she let herself hope.

I don't even know who you are any more.

Or maybe you never did.

Any last thread of delusion was shattered beyond repair, of course, when Natalie fucking Scatorccio's voice floated down at her.

Scoffing, Jackie burrowed herself deeper into her flimsy excuse of a scratchy, shitty blanket. "It's about the fact that everyone has gone fucking crazy." She didn't look up, didn't want to see whatever look awaited her on Natalie's face. Pity, disbelief, disdain? Regardless of which it would be, none of the possibilities were good.

Jackie could only even speak at all because it was Natalie. Natalie, who unlocked her from Lottie’s makeshift prison. Who ripped the knife away from Travis' throat. Who didn't fucking assault anyone, even after being handed the most reason to be upset on a silver platter.

The only one who hadn’t completely lost her fucking mind out here.

Besides, if Natalie turned on her too, what did she have left to lose? Shauna had already driven a knife deep into her back and twisted it for good measure. The worst Natalie could do was pull it back out.

Jackie didn’t even know if she wanted to stop the bleeding any more, anyway.

[feminaferitas]

Jackie wore a relatively blank expression on her face, though her brows were pinched with thought and wide eyes focused on the gentleman who spoke up. Honestly, she didn't really know what a cryptid was and she wasn't sure if he was comparing her to a sea creature. But clearly he and Keiko were speaking the same language, and if it meant something about helping Jackie out of her unnatural predicament (within certain limits, of course), then on with the nerd speak.

"Oh-kaaay," she said, not entirely convinced. The girl folded her arms across her chest. "Yeah, thanks, Billy."

Jackie turned her focus back to her former classmate and kind of shrugged noncommittally. "Yeah. I mean, it was so rare that Shauna already had other plans when I wanted to hang out. Kind of hard to forget," she said casually. There was no hint of jealousy in her voice, just amusement. "Which is fine, y'know I was always back and forth with... Jeff."

She dropped his name quickly, as if it were sour on her tongue. Something about the thought of Jeff and Shauna now being married, now with a child... It dragged up the memories of reading Shauna's journals... did Keiko and her other classmates know? About the two of them behind her back? How much of high school had actually been a big joke at her expense? The overwhelming dread of it made her want to disappear, back into the walls and the whispers of the town -- but she couldn't just leave when she had a chance to make something better of her situation, could she?

"Hey, I mean it's not like I'm going anywhere fast, right? As long as it doesn't hurt, it's not exactly as if you could make me any more dead," she shrugged. "I guess it'd be nice to reconnect with a classmate... feel like I didn't miss out on everything."

"That… is probably a conversation whose details are best saved for another day," Keiko began, hesitantly. After all, how does one go about telling a ghost about titans? Should she even do so to begin with? "But think less classic supernatural, more, um…"

This time, it was Billy who swooped in when Keiko floundered. "It’s, uh, not so much the stuff of horror movies or urban legends that we usually chase after, more like - cryptids. Sort of. Have you ever seen those, those deep sea creatures that really look like they should be aliens, but they're not?" he asked Jackie, tucking his gadgets away haphazardly before stepping closer to them both. Keiko didn't miss the way Lee nearly moved to hold him back too, though he stopped himself short with a heavy, resigned sigh. "Well… there's a lot more out there than just sea creatures that are like that, too."

"Yes. Thank you, Billy." Keiko shook her head, half exasperated, half fond, before turning her attention back to Jackie.

Jackie, who promptly busted out a 'kids these days' line of her own, and Keiko couldn't help but laugh. It was the most Jackie had sounded like her actual chronological age all night long. In some respects, maybe ghosts weren't quite as stagnant as most thought. Still, she could only imagine how odd it must feel, being eighteen and thirty-two all at once like that.

"They do, in a way," she agreed, amusement lacing her tone. And that change had only gotten faster with the sharp pace technology increased at now - yet another thing Jackie would need introduction to, eventually, if she managed to stick around. Maybe Keiko would understand teenagers again in a decade or so, when Hiroshi inevitably picked up on at least some of it, but for now it wasn't her world any more either.

Something about the girl's emphasis on being useful didn't quite sit right with Keiko, but any possible protests died on her tongue at the mention of Shauna and their old experiments. "You remember those?" Jackie had only shown up a handful of times during them. In the wake of everything else that had happened to her since, those few stolen memories felt near insignificant in comparison. Then again, it was only Keiko who had been given the grace of time to grow up beyond them. "I suppose it is, in a sense. It's... sweet of you to want to help, thank you."

[feminaferitas]

Keiko's words made her pause. Everyone used to say Jackie was selfish, self-absorbed, singular. Of course she hadn't been thinking of the others who died in the capacity of whether or not they were restless ghosts. She didn't know what made her special, and maybe she didn't want to be. It certainly wasn't any more of a mercy than what the others experienced. In fact, she didn't know who else may have died after she did, but wherever Laura Lee was, Jackie hoped she was at peace. They all were, weren't they?

Everyone except her.

"Whoop-de-doo," she said half-heartedly. Jackie wasn't mad at Kei, but it was a cruel sort of irony, to be told again that she was special. Always on a pedestal, just out of reach. Now separated by the spectral bonds of a life just barely after. She was a legend, she was a whisper. Everyone had their tales of Jackie Taylor, and once again the cycle repeated itself -- when would she ever get to decide who she was, herself?

The dead girl followed Keiko's directions to wait. After all, she had nothing but time, even if time didn't always have her.

"So how much supernatural are you used to?" Jackie never had a mind for most of that stuff. She wasn't a fan of slashers and she didn't share Shauna's affinity for how sad and mopey and misunderstood Frankenstein was. No Exorcist, no Texas Chainsaw. The darkest she ever got was seances and sleepover games (light as a feather...). But even her taste for that had soured in the wilderness, however shortly she was exposed to Lottie's delusions.

"Strong emotional significance... yeah, I guess," she said, looking around at the school hall, loath to acknowledge the truth of Shauna's hurtful words. Jackie wondered, if Keiko and her friends here did decide to banish the ghost girl entirely... would she even know it? Maybe it'd be painless, like falling asleep in the cold all over again. "I get it. I'd still be... dead. But I guess it would be nice not to be stuck with all these dweeb-age boys. I know I'm still eighteen or whatever, but it's like these kids speak a totally different language sometimes."

But it wasn't the kids that made her want to get away... did walking free mean she could... would anyone else actually see her? Like, really see her? Well, maybe not all of them would be as calm and collected as Kei. But it was worth a shot, right? It wasn't like Jackie could be any more dead and alone than she was.

"Well, glad I'm not totally useless, probably," she said, trying not to get her hopes up about anything (god, did Jackie still have hopes?). "I'm sure you can tell, but I don't exactly have a whole lot left to lose here. If you need a hand with the research, I guess I'm your girl. It'll be just like what you and Shauna used to do after school, yeah?"

"I hate to break it to you, but you are special," Keiko pointed out, quiet but firm. "You're far from the only one who died out there, but you don't have any company here, do you?" She wasn't sure if pointing that out would make Jackie feel better or worse, but it was the truth regardless. So many had been lost in that disaster, most of them young and all of them violently, yet only Jackie Taylor lingered behind here. Why? "I don't know what, exactly, makes you different, but you certainly are."

Jackie didn't seem to know what to do with Keiko's resolve. That was fine; if anything, they had prepared for even worse. The fact she was sentient and sane - and listening - already made this so much easier than it could have been otherwise.

"I - we - think there is." Motioning for Jackie to wait, Keiko looped back to Bill, pulling a notebook out of the bag slung over his shoulder. Flipping it open as she walked back over, she rifled through the pages until she found what she was looking for, holding out the book far enough to the side for Jackie to be able to see if she wanted to. "Believe it or not, you actually lean a little further into the supernatural than even we're used to. But unbinding isn't unheard of. Ghosts or spirits are often tethered to places - where they died for some, of strong emotional significance for others." It was easy to tell which one this was for Jackie, considering they weren't standing in the middle of the Canadian Rockies.

"But there's literature - that’s about as scientific as anything like this can get - on them being banished, or - or released. It's the release we're interested in," Keiko explained, flipping to the next page. “That can mean moving on completely, but it can also mean freedom of motion on this plane. It doesn't change what you are, you'd still be spectral, but it does change that you wouldn't be trapped in this school any more.” Glancing over towards Jackie, Keiko's lips quirked up into a ghost of a smile. "I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want to be stuck in high school forever. Do you?"

Then, her smile dropped. "The only problem is, our research is still incomplete," Keiko admitted. "Like I said, you're a little beyond the scope of what we're used to. But this whole idea was useless anyway if you weren't real, or weren't receptive - so better to find you first, to know if you even wanted this, and finish the work later if you did."

[feminaferitas]

"Oh. Well, hi," Jackie said, honestly relieved these weren't old friends (or whatever passed for friends those days). They seemed... pleasant. The ghost girl waved back at Billy, still a little leery of his equipment. Still, to hear that Keiko had become a scientist was... well, jealousy aside at a life actually lived, it was sort of... neat, to know someone made it out and made something of themselves. Not like she had many of her classmates dropping by with updates. Sometimes she gleaned details from the WHS alumni bulletin -- wedding announcements, births, memorials. That kind of stuff.

She nodded back at the man called Lee -- he seemed, uh, serious. Her focus returned to Keiko. "Okay. I don't plan on provoking him, for the record," Jackie said, hoping she didn't really have to clarify. Then again, knowing there was "something else" about her... She had to wonder. The older woman seemed to have them -- and the situation -- under control at least.

Jackie hadn't heard of cryptozoology, but it sounded like a $20 word. She crossed her arms, fidgeting somewhat as she received an explanation. "Creature? Oh, great," she muttered, kicking a spectral foot against the floor. "You definitely know how to make a dead girl feel special."

Though she was admittedly curious what else Kei could have encountered previously. Especially if it wasn't "benevolent". There was a time when Jackie would have laughed about the idea of ghosts and monsters, but she wasn't really in a position to judge anyone about weird babbling nonsense now. But this wasn't even the sort of stuff Lottie ever went on about. Well, ghosts were. But all of this was sort of a lot to take in on what she had assumed was going to be another quiet night on the soccer pitch.

"Gee, that's actually... really sweet of you?" It came out like a question, because Jackie wasn't sure how to feel. No one had ever done that for her before, not that there had been much of a precedent for this sort of thing. She didn't exactly love the feeling of being pitied, or treated like a science experiment. But for once, it felt like someone wasn't content to let her remain trapped by the stories, the whispers, the belief that everyone knew who Jackie Taylor was. Unreachable, unattainable, forever frozen, a flattened image of girlhood on a pedestal. "So is there? I mean, something you can do about it. I don't... I didn't realize there was a choice."

And just like that her smile was back, subdued and sympathetic. Keiko had never learned what exactly had happened out in that wilderness, never tried very hard to despite the insatiable curiosity that still threatened to swallow her whole at times. But she didn't need to know the facts to understand that nobody deserved this fate, this loneliness, least of all someone frozen eternally in girlhood - an innocent, no matter how one looked at it.

The fact that Jackie's first thought was that Bill and Lee had to be their classmates truly showed just how small her world had stayed. Not that Keiko could fault her for it. "They're not. That's Billy; he's another scientist, like me," she answered, gesturing to the dark-haired man first. At the mention of his name, Bill managed to detach from his technology long enough to throw Jackie a smile and a wave. Twisting around in the other direction, Keiko locked eyes with Lee who, unlike Bill, looked anything but happy. "And Lee, he's..."

"Protection," Lee interjected sharply, when Keiko failed to find the right words to say.

Sighing, Keiko turned back to Jackie. "He won't hurt you unprovoked, I promise, but - not everything we encounter is all that benevolent." Loathe as she was to admit it sometimes, someone had to prioritize her and Billy's well-being, since they so rarely did themselves. Without Lee, they both would have already been dead a long time ago.

"As for what we do... have you ever heard of cryptozoology?" Not bothering to wait for an answer, Keiko pressed on. "You're not the only creature that isn't 'supposed' to exist out there - far from it, actually - and it's our job to learn more about them. But, you... you're more of a, uh... personal endeavor." There was no other way to put it, really. It wasn't military-backed research that brought her here, nor was it even pure scientific curiosity. It all boiled down to one far more messy, painfully human reason: empathy. "I know we weren't close, but I knew you, Jackie. It felt wrong to knowingly leave you trapped in here, all alone. Not if there was anything I could do about it."

[feminaferitas]

"Oh, great," she deadpanned. Jackie didn't love the idea of being a local legend, much less one that was frightening people in some form other than herself. She really didn't understand the rules of the afterlife -- but if all of Lottie's dark evil bullshit was real, she was so going to haunt her ass. Assuming Lottie was even still out there...

Wide, moonlit eyes looked from the woman to her accomplices, weighing the truth of her statement. Jackie kept her hands down at her sides, the visage of shoulders tensed without sinew to actually tighten. Everything about Jackie was the idea of what should exist. What should be a teenage girl, who should have lived. But wasn't that how things were, even when she was alive? So much of Jackie Taylor was an idea, an ideal dreamed up by the collective around her.

So then what was everyone seeing that wasn't her? Something... from out there?

A frown flashed across her face for a moment. "No, don't -- I mean, you came all this way. I think this is the longest conversation I've had in... well, it's hard to keep track of time." But Jackie hadn't really considered the fact she was trapped at the school. Like, yeah -- she wondered what her parents were up to, and she only saw Shauna once... maybe twice. But never spoke to her. She and Jeff had passed by the school with a stroller, but who knows how long ago that was anyhow.

"You can help me... What is it exactly you do for work again, Keiko? Because not that I wouldn't love the help, but I'm very confused right now, honestly," she said, stepping closer but just off to the side of the other woman. Jackie gestured to the men down the hall, "Are these guys from our class too? I don't recognize them in the slightest."

"Yes, for you," Keiko reiterated with a nod. There was no other reason to be here, especially after hours; no memories of long-gone youth that she was that desperate to relive. The most notable thing that had ever happened in her high school years didn't even happen to her, but to these girls instead.

She'd known some of them better than others, of course. Natalie. Shauna. Thought them all ghosts for far too long. It would be a lie if she said an open wound had never festered where her friends had once been, but then they'd come back, and the rest...

Well, Keiko had eventually been able to move on. The same couldn't be said for the girls whose bodies they never found.

Now, though... Now, with something of those lost girls right in front of her - with Jackie right in front of her - she couldn't simply turn away any more.

"No, I don't think you have to worry about that. What they thought they saw was likely still you." Keiko's eyes shifted up, then, awestruck gaze locked on the antlers above her head, moonlight-bathed and covered in gossamer and twine. They only snapped back down once Jackie stepped closer of her own volition.

Before Keiko could even think to celebrate that, she'd stepped back again.

"We're not here to hurt you," Keiko rushed to reassure, not missing the way the girl had closed off suddenly. She couldn't know for certain, of course, but it wasn't difficult to hypothesize where her mind must have just jumped to - especially given the Ghostbusters reference dropped not even a moment ago. "Or do anything else that you don't agree to." As long as they could trust her, that was, but even then Keiko's intention was never to harm. Billy wasn't a fighter if he didn't have to be, not when it came to these creatures, and Lee...

Lee only ever snapped when he thought they were in danger. Reckless as Keiko could be on the best of days, tonight she wouldn't give him reason to. "We know no one has been hurt here, just - spooked. So if you want us to go, we can leave you alone. But... you've been trapped here, possibly for over a decade, within the boundaries of this school. Right?" Resisting the urge to come closer again, Keiko relaxed her arms down by her sides instead, palms open and facing outward. "It doesn't have to stay that way forever. At least, I don't think it does. That's what I want to help with, if you'll let me."

[feminaferitas]

Time didn't pass for Jackie in a linear fashion exactly. It wasn't like she laid down in a ghost bed every ghost night and got up with the ghost sunrise. She could see the clock changing, but couldn't feel the minutes of it. The days, weeks, years. Holding onto memories, new ones, was hard sometimes. But at the very least, she was still very much herself. And she knew what she knew, about who she had been and who she had known.

But everything since she died was a bit of a blur.

"For me?" Jackie was both surprised and not. There were kids at the school, constantly looking for her. Trying to summon the soccer field ghost. The girl didn't have to abide by any rules, at least none but her own. It wasn't like there was a handbook for all this crap (as much as she would loooove to be a cute little spirit like Geena Davis). But to have a trio of adults breaking into the school after hours to find her... that was a new one.

"Something else? You think I'd know if I had a roommate here, right?" But would she? She wondered what the possibility was -- there weren't a ton of dead Wiskayok alumni that she knew of. At least, worth remembering. Jackie stepped a little closer to Keiko, to match her stance, curious and concerned in equal measure. "Kei... I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm dead. Like, dead dead. Even if you had all the Ghostbusters gear in the world, I don't know how anyone is supposed to 'help'... unless..."

Could you kill a dead girl? Get rid of a ghost for good? As much as it was a lonely existence here, Jackie wasn't sure if she was ready to just... not be. Her shoulders stiffened and she took one step back, hesitant. Watching to see what would happen next.

Look, I'm dead, but I'm not an idiot. That got a sharp exhale of a laugh out of her. At least the girl had held on to some semblance of a sense of humor; it was more than Keiko might have been able to say for herself, were she the one in her shoes instead. "That's fair enough."

Not every ghost remembered much of their former selves, if anything at all. It could make some of them dangerous, ruthless, especially the longer they lingered and more disconnected they became - but Keiko wasn't about to saddle a dead teenager with a lecture. Not now, anyway. She'd obviously retained enough of who she was before that it wasn't an issue yet, if it ever would be at all.

When Jackie trailed off, Keiko's smile turned somber, sympathetic. There was nothing she could say to make this part better, no way for her to bridge the gaping hole of time between them. The fact that her mere presence was a reminder of everything Jackie should have had the chance to be, yet never had - never would. No high-tech gadgetry or fancy doctorate degree could ever fix that.

It twisted into something wryer, at least, when that same humor quickly bounced back. "Well, we were out here looking for you." No reason to hold back the truth now. If Jackie turned out be a problem, Lee was still right behind her, wound up tight and ready to pounce - but Keiko truly didn't think she would be. "But you found us a little faster than anticipated."

Carefully, Keiko took another step closer, hands still raised loosely near her waist. "There's been rumors going around town, of something haunting this place. Some of them of you, some of - something else. I haven't been back all that long, so I don't know exactly how long this has been going on for, but... I think we can help you, if you want it."

[feminaferitas]

"We should have a seance. Remember how fun that shit used to be?"

How ironic, right? And how Jackie wondered if her old teammates ever thought of that night, or thought of those bygone girlhood days, and wondered if it was worth trying to channel their former team captain through the sleeping third eye. Or maybe they had, and that was the reason she was still here.

As far as Jackie knew, everyone had moved on, even the ones who stayed right here in Wiskayok. They had no reason to visit the high school, not even for whatever number reunion was waiting in the wings. So this was it -- the class queen of 1996 sparkled in memory alone, becoming more of a tragedy, a cautionary tale, a horror hanging over her hometown with every passing day.

Which was why she was surprised to hear her name without revulsion, but recognition. Jackie stood in the middle of the hallway, moonlight filtering in from the windows nearby above the lockers. She crossed her arms and shrugged. "Yep, that's me. In the... well, you know how the phrase should go."

Jackie dropped her hands to her sides and leaned to look around the woman, at the men in the back. She didn't know what they wanted, but they seemed to listen to the woman. That was a relief, for the moment, but her focus returned to the one who seemed to be in charge of -- what, exactly? Surely a late night break-in had a purpose... after all, Jackie Taylor never stopped being the center of attention, even in death.

"Keiko..." She tested the word on her tongue and listened to the echo in her mind. Jackie's eyes widened with recognition, but her brows quickly furrowed into a remark laced with attitude. "Look, I'm dead, but I'm not an idiot."

But her tone wasn't harsh -- in fact, it was laced with a bit of sadness. Envy, for a life of "used to". To look back on anything that was "a long time ago". The girl's focus now rested squarely on her former classmate, the memory of whom was still slowly coming to the surface, as if hidden deep beneath waves. For Keiko it was a long time ago, but in many ways for Jackie, it was just a few months prior.

"Keiko," she repeated. "Kei, yeah... yes, I remember you. The name, at least. You're..." Of course she was. Everyone was, except Jackie, who was still just a girl. The girl everyone remembered she was -- so it was all she knew of herself these days.

"Well, I guess we're both in places we aren't supposed to be. But I'm still enrollment age, so I guess you'll have to have a more interesting excuse."

Some facets of life never changed. Small town America, it seemed, was one of them. It hadn't taken long after Keiko moved back to Wiskayok to pick up on the rumor mill's circulation again, though it contents had certainly taken a different turn than when she was eighteen.

Wiskayok High was haunted. That maybe wouldn't be so surprising on its own, given the number of girls who had died so terribly in her own year alone - but there was more to it than that. It wasn't just an urban legend among children this time. Adults believed this too, more than just a few of them. And the devil was, of course, always in the details.

The Yellowjackets varsity jacket. The antlers. The accounts from the few who'd gotten close enough to see their face and had been in town long enough to recognize who, exactly, they saw.

Jackie Taylor.

Looked like the dead didn't rest so easy, after all.

Keiko couldn't hear that, couldn't know what she knew about life beyond the veil, and just... leave her there. No one deserved to be trapped in that sort of eternal purgatory, least of all a child who had been nothing but kind to Keiko in life. So, of course, it had been her idea to sneak into the school. Billy, predictably, had been thrilled. Lee, even more predictably, had thought it was a terrible idea, yet followed them both in anyway.

It didn't take nearly as long for them to find her as she'd expected it would. Or, more accurately, for her to find them. They'd barely made it down a few halls when the sharp sound of a bang had Keiko whirling around - and the sight that awaited her took her breath away.

"Jackie." She looked exactly the same. All these years later, high school memories having taken on a sepia hue, so many of the rest of their classmates walking around with time traced into their faces... Yet, she still hadn't changed a single bit. Forever eighteen, preserved just as she'd ever been in Keiko's memory. Jackie was far from the first creature they'd ever encountered, not even the first ghost, but Keiko could hardly believe she was real.

She had never known them before, after all. Not like this. "So it really is you."

Behind her, Keiko could hear Bill fumbling with equipment they hadn't thought they'd need yet - might not need at all, in the end. Lee made to move forward, likely jumping straight to considering Jackie a threat to her safety, but a raise of Keiko's hand kept him back.

For now, Keiko alone stepped closer.

"You shouldn't be here, either. My name is Keiko Miura." The information was offered up in hopes of - what? Some spark of recognition that was, otherwise, sorely missing? Maybe it had been naive of her to believe that the girl could hold on to the memory of someone she barely knew fifteen odd years ago, that a familiar face could make any difference at all. Still, Keiko had to try. "I knew you, a long time ago. We both went to this school. Can you remember any of that?"