#asexual Simon when 😭

[xxsugarbonesxx]

I am SICK of some depictions of Simon “Ghost” Riley. I am sick of the hot daddy dom head cannons‼️‼️

If you know anything about his backstory, you know a lot of shit went down to permanently traumatize this man. All I see is him being a jerk in bed or rough or whatever.

Where is Simon with a repulsion to sex because of the comic events? I want my asexual Simon god dammit! Why can’t he just be a cuddly guy who doesn’t have that much a sex drive sometimes!?

What about Simon who thinks cuddling or something minuscule to be so intimate?? Why do we all have him be so rough and mean? Why can’t he just be chill guys??

Anyway if there’s any good domestic simon fics out there please tell me!! I want my cuddly loser and I want him now!

(Btw if you write rough/dom Simon, this isn’t me bashing yall, I just want more ace rep and I see Simon as a good opportunity is all! ;P )

[sprunkimortality]

How tall are all of the sprunkis and their sexualities?

Height chart! The text isn't too visible but it's color coded and in order of appearance in-mod. (The OCs come in this order; Saves, Ciqu, Sprinkles, Calvin.)

Mr. Sun, Mr. Tree, and MFC aren't in the chart.

The reason why there's 3 Blacks is because the first one is his typical form, the second one is his form with legs, and the third one is the form he took on when he first entered Smalltowne.

"They're so small" yeah they're Sprunkies ofc they're small 😭

As for their sexualities...

Oren - Heterosexual Raddy - Bisexual Clukr - Homosexual Fun Bot - Unlabeled Vineria - Pansexual

Gray - Demisexual Demiromantic, Objectum Brud - Refuses to use labels Garnold - Homosexual OWAKCX - Pansexual Sky - Questioning

Mr. Sun - Unlabeled Durple - Pansexual Mr. Tree - Unlabeled Simon - Aromantic Asexual Tunner - Bisexual with masc preference

Mr. Fun Computer - Humanotin Wenda - Lesbian Pinki - Bisexual Jevin - Homosexual

Black - Homosexual Quoiromantic Saves - Bisexual Ciqu - Humanotin/Homosexual Sprinkles - Unlabeled (not old enough to know) Calvin - Unlabeled (not old enough to know)

[im-out-of-it]

season 1, episode 11 “blood calls to blood”

aka guess who are “siblings” 💀

1. it’s almost funny that Valentine tricks jace this way. like jace thinks it’s his father and he’s so happy but all Valentine is doing is taunting jace and tricking them just so he can have the cup. just like Alec predicted lmao

2. you don’t have to heal jace. you can let him die. we would all be better off

3. I know I post a lot of anti jace stuff but if the writing actually had him being held accountable and he was a decent person, I could get on board. but I can’t. he’s insufferable, toxic, and self involved

4. well, we are back with Alec and Izzy. one shadowhunter trial about to come up 👏🏼

5. “I can’t find jace because I weakened our bond”- yes Alec did weaken it but let’s not just put it all on Alec. parabatai are supposed to have each others back and I haven’t seen jace do that for Alec at all. anytime Alec needs him, jace isn’t there. we don’t know their relationship before episode 1 so maybe he was there but knowing jace, I fucking doubt it lmao

6. “what am I supposed to do, sit here and play solitaire while they find something else to blame me for?”- Izzy. I’m just surprised she knows what that game is 😭 but honestly it’s kind of messed up that clary and Jace got to run off with the mortal cup while Izzy is here almost about to lose her being a shadowhunter. it’s not fair at all. and I think the treatment of jace and clary vs Alec and Izzy is something that doesn’t get discussed much. they hardly are held accountable for anything. they’ve ran off and who is to blame? ALEC. Izzy may have had a hand in helping meliorn but she didn’t do it alone so why is Izzy the one paying the consequences?

7. literally jace could go out and kill a bunch of downworlders and say they attacked me first! and he still would be fine. oh because jace is supposedly the best of us all except he always needs rescuing. Alec has paid the price for so many of jace’s actions.

8. “Izzy, I’m your big brother, please let me help you”-Alec 😭

9. I love that Simon has people helping him out. Luke in season one, Magnus in season two. Magnus had to deal with being a warlock all on his own. Luke had Jocelyn but no one should have to go through their changes on their own ☹️

10. LET JACE DIE! LET JACE DIE! LET JACE DIE!

11. I know Raphael is asexual but I would have been 100% okay with a Raphael and Simon pairing. THEY HAVE CHEMISTRY

12. but I love the importance of the showing making representation matter. we have Magnus who is bisexual, alec is gay, Raphael is asexual, and I can’t think of her name but that officer in season three who is a lesbian as well as aline and Helen. so nice to see 🥹

13. “Funny how those rules for downworlders stop being such a big deal when you need our help.”-ok Raphael tell her off 🔥 literally, what I have been talking about!!!! shadowhunters can break the accords = it’s okay! downworlders breaking accords = they’re evil and must be executed and punished!

14. having Camille only being on the show as temporary was a mistake in my opinion. I’m not saying she needed to be there the whole time but I think she’s a very underrated character who could’ve been more. she didn’t have one entire scene in all of season one that was terrible

15. ah blackmailing, how original

16. how I feel everytime jace gets away with something lmao (I always try to do shadowhunter gifs but I couldn’t resist)

17. Raphael: blackmailing me? how unkind, now stick around new advisor 🥲 raphael doesn’t play any games

18. ah, inquisitor herondale. what a cold bitch she is

19. well jace lives so yay I guess?

20. “this is real clary”-jace. ugh not them putting their whole mouths all over each and making cringe facial expressions 🤢

21. not sorry, I find them so cringe

22. ah, Valentine being Michael wayland being highly suspicious (shit I hope I didn’t ruin this for anyone, SORRY)

23. I love how “Valentine” sees jace following whatever clary says and is thinking hmmmm interesting

24. Izzy is all like if Jocelyn can be on the run then I can, but she had runes and weapons and Luke for starters so it’s not like Jocelyn was alone

okay so this isn’t going to be in order and this post will be more than likely go towards the trial 😌

45. I love the way alec says done and he just stares at Magnus like this man is going to take me for all I’m worth and I’m going to be happy about it 😭

46. the struggle is real for alec because not only is he denying a man who he is most likely having feelings for but he has have the audacity to go back to that same man 😬 and literally ask him for help while also trying to fight his feelings

47. like it’s just got to be hard for alec to be around magnus. I know he’s gay, we know he’s gay, literally the whole world knows he’s gay but alec doesn’t feel comfortable being gay in the shadow world. this is more of an assumption on my part when it comes to Alec. because he’s never dated and we see him “secretly” eyeing other men. which he is rightly validated in because the shadowhunters (more clave) are such oppressive ass judgmental prejudicial dicks who would rather control a being to their mold than have someone be comfortable in who they wish to be. they have this my way or no way thinking of how a shadowhunter should act and be

48. and the show doesn’t really touch up often on what it means to be gay in the shadow world or just different (I mean the books barely did and I would rather cc stay away from all matters because she burns everything she touches so no thanks)

49. also can we talk about how fucking gorgeous Magnus is???????

50. HE KNOWS HE IS FINE AS HELL

51. like how is Alec not drooling over him?????? man he’s got to be using every strength to hold it in and fight it 😭

52. also kind of funny how we’re introduced as jace being the one without emotions and clary as the emotional feeling one and the fact that clary is the one ending valentines reign, and Jace can never handle it

53. I sympathize with Jace losing his parents and having a messed up childhood but I don’t sympathize with someone who has this and uses excuses to be a shitty person. I’m sorry but I never once saw a change in either jace or clary in the show or the books.

54. “You don’t trust Alec so clary means more to you.”- “Michael wayland” ayyyyyy isn’t this what I have been saying this whole time????? dude is reading my mind I swear

55. and now he’s trying to act as though he trusts Alec. “Valentine” is right about something. he has put clary first since she arrived and Alec last. fucking Izzy is about to get deruned and jace and clary are out here basically having the time of their life. I know it’s an exaggeration but what did they think would happen after they saved meliorn????

56. MAGNUS THE LAWYER IS HERE

57. HES IN A SUIT AND TIE ALL READY TO FIGHT FOR THE LOVE OF HIS LIFES SIS AND HE IS ABSOLUTELY THE HOTTEST PERSON IN THE ROOM!!!!!!!!! this is who I need to represent me at any time!!!

58. Magnus: excuse me, your honor but this bitch is irritating the fuck out of me (magnus having to be near Lydia lmao)

okay, so part 3 coming soon 🥰✨

[certifiedcodbabygirl]

Hello !! I’m here for the CoD matchup !! -feigned 💌

-I’m Asexual, i’m attracted to all genders as well!

-My personality type is INFP-T-

-I’m relatively average in height, around 5’6/5’7

-I’m not a very loud person, I tend to avoid conflicts, and I’m quite the people pleaser at times

-I have social anxiety and often struggle with loud noises + crowds

-I’m a bit introverted when it comes to meeting people, and awkward, but when I get to know someone I tend to be more open, and crack more jokes with them

-I have various interests, but I really like studying up on niche subjects, my favorite being mycology!

-I also don’t have any preferences when it comes to looks / gender of my partner

(Tried to keep this short for u bcus i know those long matchup asks can be a pain 😭💌)

I'd match you withhhhhhh

Nikto! (I'm sorry if you don't like this one)

Just so you know, I try to write him as realistically as possible, but this is just my interpretation. He's a character, and has no solid set-in stone personality.

that being said, here you go :)

Okay so I know a huge chunk of people getting a matchup end up getting Simon (i think it's because he's really popular, and not bc they actually match up good) when someone says they're quiet or an introvert, but from what you've told me, I think Nikto fits better for you.

A bit of important backstory for him:

He was a deep cover agent for Russia's Federal Security Service but on a mission he was taken by someone named "Mr. Z" and was tortured. His face and body are covered in scars, extremely so. He wears a mask to cover his face, always. Due to what happened to him, he developed Acute Dissociate Disorder. It shows a good amount in his voice lines. He refers to himself as "we" a lot and talks about how he hears voices.

"I hear enough voices, I don't need another!"

"Nobody hurts our friends and gets away with it!"

He's a very "get shit done" guy. He does make some dry humor jokes though.

Due to how he always is hearing someone talk (in his head) I think he would really appreciate someone who is quiet. Not that he wouldn't want to talk to you, but you being on the more quiet side definitely helps him adjust. You being able to find a creative way around some of his struggles would help a lot. For example; Where a lot of people would be like "why don't you just stop saying we instead of I", which would cause a sort of tension between them and him, you would let him refer to himself as "we" but you would continue to say "you" as a subtle grounding.

(Just an example, not a solid thing)

I feel like he would really like your niche interests. It's hard to truly keep his attention outside of work, especially if they're just common things. So if you were to be reading a book on fungi in Russia, he might see that and be like "wtf?" and interest might be piqued. Idk I feel like he wouldn't really be interested in things unless they were niche (that's where you come in!). He'd probably make some dry as joke that isn't even that funny, but his blank stare and dead delivery would be hilarious.

You both struggle with social anxiety and don't like social settings. He's a soldier, so he has ways to sort of deal with it. If you're really uncomfortable or are worried something will happen, he's right there with you with a hand on your back (it also helps him ground himself when the thought of something happening to you pops up). He's very loyal to those who actually get through to him. Say you're talking to someone who is making you uncomfortable. He'd probably just say something to you, in front of them, like "we're leaving" and just bring you with him. He's socially,, idek. He's awkward. Not in a shy way, just a "wtf are social rules" way. He means well, have mercy.

Once he gets close to you, and realizes he wants you in his life, that's it. Unless you try to take his mask off without his permission, or betray him, he's staying. He loves like a dog. A feral, hungry, desperate for scraps dog. You know the ones. The street dogs that will fight anyone and cling to you when you give them bread. They're still aggressive, just not towards you. Just a bit rough around the edges.

I see a lot of people writing him as sexist or homophobic, but I really don't see him that way. Honestly, I think what happened to him really changed how he thinks. I think a lot less means anything to him. He has to go fight in literal wars, who gives a fuck abt who wants to be with who? Who cares about women wanting to be independent? I don't think he cares. He barely talks to people as is, why would he care about what they do?

I can almost guarantee that if you get hurt, he's gonna take care of you. He's used to the major injuries (broken bones, deep cuts, etc) so he might think he needs to take care of your small ones the same way. He's trying. He cares about you. He's learning.

One thing you'll never need to worry about is him cheating or leaving you. He very rarely lets people in, and never thought he'd find love, but he found you. You're his, he's yours. Simple.

As for sex, not even an issue. I think he could either be hypersexual or asexual. Let's go with asexual for this matchup. I said he cares about a lot of things less than before his torture, and I mean it. A common occurrence with PTSD or just being recently traumatized is lack of interest in things, and that can include sex. I think his sex drive is basically nonexistent. He might jack off, but that's really so there aren't physical issues. It takes him a really long time to warm up to touches, even if they're kind ones. Sex wouldn't even be on the table. If you don't pick up on this, and tell him you're asexual, he'd probably shrug it off. He'd probably just say something like "me too" (after you explain it) and that would be that.

Learning to cuddle or initiate contact would be an interesting experience. He probably would stiffen up when you hold his hand for the first time. But after a while of gentle touches and soft words of how these are safe touches, he'd grow to like them. It would take a while, but he'd get there.

He cares. He wants you, and he'll do his best to do good for you. No relationship is perfect, but growing together is a big part of them.

[diorysuss]

a convulated oc fact list i wrote in 40 minutes about my ocs because why not. (I am also tired so if some facts seem outta place that’s why 😭😭)

SoL kids and what they are

Dion(ysus) Simmons

- Guarded, Jazz Agent, Psygeology

- African American, specifically creole from New Orleans

- Bisexual

- She/Her, Cis Female

- Bilingual, French and English

- Companion: Molly B. Even though Dion hates the way she talks, they’re a pretty good duo.

- Autistic, but she never got diagnosed so was just called “odd but cool once you get to know her”

- Special Interest was brass instruments as a kid but now she’s just really into rocks.

- In her shadow run she gives eye trauma to shadow president as revenge

- Dating Big Lizzie. Calls her Lovebug (goals)

- Selectively mute sometimes. Like she will just flat out ignore you and not talk to you if she’s mute.

- Dion can play every brass instrument but will visible sob if you try to teach her string/woodwind

- “No, just because I’m named Dionysus doesn’t mean she’s associated with alcoholic beverages and organized crime, damn it!”

- Doesn’t wear hats. The hatless run.

- But will constantly wear her shades. Her left eye does this weird thing from when she was 6 and she doesn’t like it.

- The oldest/peacemaker out of the 3 Simmons kid.

Ares Simmons

- Checkered Past, Pig Skinner, Cryptobotany

- AroAce | Neurotypical | Anger Issues

- He/They, demiboy (he will actually beat the shit outta you if you say otherwise)

- Companion: Simone. He freaks her out sometimes but they got along.

- African American/Italian, adopted from DirtWater and brought to New Orleans

- Ares actually served in the U.S army under Bruise; he genuinely thought for a little while that his lieutenant was named Bruce, and was shocked to find him as his rival.

- He adopted the ruthless perk from his mother; absolutely a beast and has little to no empathy for most others than his family and companions. Most violent being in loathing

- He was put in prison for 6 months before getting out for the wrong thing (they thought he committed a series of gruesome murders; no he just punched a parking meter too hard or something)

- In his shadow run he didn’t just absorb Bruise he literally beat the shit outta him until he was bone

- “Romance is for WEAK PEOPLE who need another person to function.”

- Ares has little to no filter; he says whatever he wants when he wants. This can lead to unwarranted consequences that he shoves, kicks and bites his way out of.

-Bruise is missing a finger because of him.

- Youngest out of the 3 siblings

Demet(er) Simmons

- Scouts Honor, Cheese Wizard, Insectology

- Any/All, Genderfluid

- Lesbian | Asexual

- ADHD

- African American, Creole and from New Orleans

- Companion: Obie. They help each other and duet in the speakeasy a lot.

- Bilingual, French and English

- Demet is notably disabled and uses fore-arm crutches to walk; makes wizarding a bit hard but they make do

- Pacifist, he genuinely wanted to be friends with Noël, but had to send her out of country.

- Demet knows piano; a hobby she practiced since she wasn’t allowed (or rather didn’t let herself) go outside.

- Hates bugs but hates sapient rocks and weird plants more

- She likes Jasper’s shades a whole lot; makes her feel cool.

[some-murmurings]

I think "Says profound things and then teaches Kant. are you smart or not pick a lane" summarizes my feelings about The Good Place perfectly 😭

the ending annihilates me every time I rewatch the damn show while I get more and more uncomfortable with the way so many things are characterized over time

Like

Eleanor is very much the "horny bisexual" trope (made worse bc she's a woman. intersectionally fetishy)

After watching a couple seasons of Brooklyn Nine-Nine (copaganda, notably), I can say with complete confidence Michael Shur fucking HATES fat people. So much. He hates us so, so, SO much.

Jason's whole... yknow, Jason thing. Just the model of "intelligence" Schur uses (also apparent in B99). The fact the "preposterously dumb, extremely overconfident" guy is from Florida.

The way the tone of the show changes almost on a dime bc the later parts of the production happened during Trump's campaign.

The way colonialism and racism are thematic bit parts, instead of focal conflicts that'd massively characterize ALL of the character's experiences.

That Tahani's "sins" have nothing to do with her class (insanely ultrawealthy heiress who actively exploited a broken non-profit charity system for personal fame is left as subtextual, focusing on her needless bickering with her sister)

Again, the whole "Floridian trash" thing, except now noting that it was embodied by a Filipino dude who spends 40% of the show being called a different ethnicity

I can't remember the name of the trope but Simone is pretty actively dehumanized by her role as a "placeholder partner" for a white lady, simultaneously treating her as a "fix-it" partner for Chidi's emotional hangups.

That Simone did not IMMEDIATELY crash the experiment when meeting Brent for the first time. Guy is the devil himself.

That Janet is so clearly asexual & nonbinary but the show fails to explore it with any depth. (a lesser crime but im still mad about it)

The traditional myth of the "History of Philosophy" is pretty uncritically repeated by the show.

It should not go unsaid that Immanuel Kant was VIOLENTLY racist against Africans, West Africans in particular. Like Nose-Charts-to-determine-intelligence racist.

In fact, most of the guys we're meant to believe Chidi uncritically idolizes would have H A T E D his guts for reasons so racist I honestly can't keep track of them bc they're so arbitrarily evil.

I do mean "most" btw, the 'big names' in Philosophy are overwhelmingly scrubbed of any personal & cultural context that might make them look bad (in the show and in contemporary academic culture)

THE GOOD PLACE (2016 - 2020) I 2.12 - Somewhere Else

[surgeonssturgeon]

I feel you dude 😔✊ Aspec solidarity…

Its kind of hard dealing with being Asexual when sex is so fucking complicated for no reason nowadays. Like… yay sex positive… wohoo… but like, no thanks.

Like i was randomly be looking up fanart for a character from COD (Simon Riley) on tumblr… EVERY OTHER POST WAS EITHER SMUTTY X READER FANFIC OR JUST DRAWN PRON. Like, he works in the middle of warfare… maybe let’s explore that a little? I don’t really wanna see him in BDSM outfits… keep the uniform on.

And also you’re so right, THE HORNY ONES NEVER PORTRAY THE CHARACTERS RIGHT!!! It pisses me off SO MUCH for no reason. They all just have a “sexy daddy” box that they shove all characters into, suck all the personality out of them and flanderize them to like ONE exaggerated trait + 1000x Horny. Thats not how characters work, JUST MAKE YOUR OWN CHARACTERS STOP MAKING SHIT UPPP 😭

I just wish people wouldn’t always simp for characters so much, when i see people simp for characters i like it makes me soooo uncomfortable. And yeah, the female body is pretty cool, sculptures are cool. But just the thought of people seeing it sexually already warps the way you see it. If people didn’t make a naked body sexual, it wouldn’t be so weird. JUST LET ME ENJOY BIOLOGY WITHOUT PEOPLE BEING WEIRD ABOUT ANATOMY FOR FUCKS SAKE, ITS FLESH AND MUSCLE NOT SEX!!!! 😭

I also have an urge to just post “sex bad” or like “porn bad” sometimes, but them people defend it SO HARD. Theres more to it than just what jacks your PP!!! And i feel gross just writing that…

Nothing WRONG exactly about sex, like yeah Mother Nature, Sims woohoo… but the way people describe it as so sexy and pleasurable and sinful, and the paraphilias and violence and just horrible shit that people do because they WANT sex… just… eugh. Completely makes you not want to associate with it at all, Ill stick with the word fornication. Literally i get sick at the thought of people seeing me sexually… I’m not sex, im a silly dude i just wanna talk about the patriarchy man can you not???

Me blocking the 1573th person writing obscenely horny fanfics about my hyperfixations :