#asexual Simon when 😭

[xxsugarbonesxx]

I am SICK of some depictions of Simon “Ghost” Riley. I am sick of the hot daddy dom head cannons‼️‼️

If you know anything about his backstory, you know a lot of shit went down to permanently traumatize this man. All I see is him being a jerk in bed or rough or whatever.

Where is Simon with a repulsion to sex because of the comic events? I want my asexual Simon god dammit! Why can’t he just be a cuddly guy who doesn’t have that much a sex drive sometimes!?

What about Simon who thinks cuddling or something minuscule to be so intimate?? Why do we all have him be so rough and mean? Why can’t he just be chill guys??

Anyway if there’s any good domestic simon fics out there please tell me!! I want my cuddly loser and I want him now!

(Btw if you write rough/dom Simon, this isn’t me bashing yall, I just want more ace rep and I see Simon as a good opportunity is all! ;P )

[certifiedcodbabygirl]

Hello !! I’m here for the CoD matchup !! -feigned 💌

-I’m Asexual, i’m attracted to all genders as well!

-My personality type is INFP-T-

-I’m relatively average in height, around 5’6/5’7

-I’m not a very loud person, I tend to avoid conflicts, and I’m quite the people pleaser at times

-I have social anxiety and often struggle with loud noises + crowds

-I’m a bit introverted when it comes to meeting people, and awkward, but when I get to know someone I tend to be more open, and crack more jokes with them

-I have various interests, but I really like studying up on niche subjects, my favorite being mycology!

-I also don’t have any preferences when it comes to looks / gender of my partner

(Tried to keep this short for u bcus i know those long matchup asks can be a pain 😭💌)

I'd match you withhhhhhh

Nikto! (I'm sorry if you don't like this one)

Just so you know, I try to write him as realistically as possible, but this is just my interpretation. He's a character, and has no solid set-in stone personality.

that being said, here you go :)

Okay so I know a huge chunk of people getting a matchup end up getting Simon (i think it's because he's really popular, and not bc they actually match up good) when someone says they're quiet or an introvert, but from what you've told me, I think Nikto fits better for you.

A bit of important backstory for him:

He was a deep cover agent for Russia's Federal Security Service but on a mission he was taken by someone named "Mr. Z" and was tortured. His face and body are covered in scars, extremely so. He wears a mask to cover his face, always. Due to what happened to him, he developed Acute Dissociate Disorder. It shows a good amount in his voice lines. He refers to himself as "we" a lot and talks about how he hears voices.

"I hear enough voices, I don't need another!"

"Nobody hurts our friends and gets away with it!"

He's a very "get shit done" guy. He does make some dry humor jokes though.

Due to how he always is hearing someone talk (in his head) I think he would really appreciate someone who is quiet. Not that he wouldn't want to talk to you, but you being on the more quiet side definitely helps him adjust. You being able to find a creative way around some of his struggles would help a lot. For example; Where a lot of people would be like "why don't you just stop saying we instead of I", which would cause a sort of tension between them and him, you would let him refer to himself as "we" but you would continue to say "you" as a subtle grounding.

(Just an example, not a solid thing)

I feel like he would really like your niche interests. It's hard to truly keep his attention outside of work, especially if they're just common things. So if you were to be reading a book on fungi in Russia, he might see that and be like "wtf?" and interest might be piqued. Idk I feel like he wouldn't really be interested in things unless they were niche (that's where you come in!). He'd probably make some dry as joke that isn't even that funny, but his blank stare and dead delivery would be hilarious.

You both struggle with social anxiety and don't like social settings. He's a soldier, so he has ways to sort of deal with it. If you're really uncomfortable or are worried something will happen, he's right there with you with a hand on your back (it also helps him ground himself when the thought of something happening to you pops up). He's very loyal to those who actually get through to him. Say you're talking to someone who is making you uncomfortable. He'd probably just say something to you, in front of them, like "we're leaving" and just bring you with him. He's socially,, idek. He's awkward. Not in a shy way, just a "wtf are social rules" way. He means well, have mercy.

Once he gets close to you, and realizes he wants you in his life, that's it. Unless you try to take his mask off without his permission, or betray him, he's staying. He loves like a dog. A feral, hungry, desperate for scraps dog. You know the ones. The street dogs that will fight anyone and cling to you when you give them bread. They're still aggressive, just not towards you. Just a bit rough around the edges.

I see a lot of people writing him as sexist or homophobic, but I really don't see him that way. Honestly, I think what happened to him really changed how he thinks. I think a lot less means anything to him. He has to go fight in literal wars, who gives a fuck abt who wants to be with who? Who cares about women wanting to be independent? I don't think he cares. He barely talks to people as is, why would he care about what they do?

I can almost guarantee that if you get hurt, he's gonna take care of you. He's used to the major injuries (broken bones, deep cuts, etc) so he might think he needs to take care of your small ones the same way. He's trying. He cares about you. He's learning.

One thing you'll never need to worry about is him cheating or leaving you. He very rarely lets people in, and never thought he'd find love, but he found you. You're his, he's yours. Simple.

As for sex, not even an issue. I think he could either be hypersexual or asexual. Let's go with asexual for this matchup. I said he cares about a lot of things less than before his torture, and I mean it. A common occurrence with PTSD or just being recently traumatized is lack of interest in things, and that can include sex. I think his sex drive is basically nonexistent. He might jack off, but that's really so there aren't physical issues. It takes him a really long time to warm up to touches, even if they're kind ones. Sex wouldn't even be on the table. If you don't pick up on this, and tell him you're asexual, he'd probably shrug it off. He'd probably just say something like "me too" (after you explain it) and that would be that.

Learning to cuddle or initiate contact would be an interesting experience. He probably would stiffen up when you hold his hand for the first time. But after a while of gentle touches and soft words of how these are safe touches, he'd grow to like them. It would take a while, but he'd get there.

He cares. He wants you, and he'll do his best to do good for you. No relationship is perfect, but growing together is a big part of them.

[simonsdiarysprunki]

Information about the characters in the AU

Simon!!! - Bigender. He/they and veryyyy rarely she. He uses the name Syd / Sydney sometimes when he is in the mood for she/her. Grayace but even though he and Gray have romantic involvement even if they're in denial they don't get together until everything goes back to normal. He wears horror movie shirts, baggy pants and or tshirts with shorts. An alien little yellow pikmin thing he has no idea what he is. HE LOVES HIS ROLLER SKATES and he is very good at handling his hoverboard. he watches horror movies 24/7 and forces everyone to do so too. ☠️ Pinki doesn't care though . After he recovers from being a monster he gains an eating disorder for a while until he manages to fix it/make it less worse.

Gray!!! - cisman he/him. Deadpan bitch. Baggy clothes, usually listens to mcr. A demon in the form of a cat. He loves reading books under trees (Mr.Tree specifically) and had a toxic relationship with Wenda until they broke up.

Brud!!! - Cisman they/he. Wears bucket ALWAYS!!!!!! Random 80s dad clothes he borrowed. Brown creature idk. Asexual idk what bro likes prolly no one. SMARTER THAN HE LOOKS! Googly eyes but only focus if he's rrly invested in sth

Durple!!! - What is even bro 😭😭😭 idk any prns I call himmmm.. prolly he/any I have no idea random baggies.... dragon creature but VERYTYY FLUFFY lil tiny wings. After he became normal his jaw would hurt for days.

Vineria!!! - genderfluid. he/she wendas partner. Snail ???? Thing??? He spends most of his time gardening and wears hippie clothes cuz he is.... her eyes hurt after she became normal but she generally fine.

Fun Bot!!! - robot any prns it/they main I guess Clukr and Garnolds son they built them. Hearts everyone and is energetic as fuck . Hands can turn to guns but broke halfway through the story.

Pinki!!! - she/her bunny! Loves dressing up all girly and then puts the most punk makeup and jackets imaginable. Oren and Raddys gf . Probably is insane cause she watches horror movies w Simon without even screaming. After they all became normal her face was fixed.

Jevin!!! - he/blue bunny, pinkis lil bro he/him. Cultist, the one who summoned black but is too much of a coward to admit it. Has little wings in his legs and back.

Oren!!! - he/him. YURI I mean what. Butch lesbian wow we love that. Wants to propose to Pinki and Raddy. Little big ass baggy jackets and is a huge rap fan and listens to Snoop Dogg , Tyler the creator etc. DJ!.

Clukr !!!! - idk little silver drum creature. he/him OLD ASS MAN /jk he and gar are like 5 years older than everyone else. Built Funbot and Funcomputer , fluffy hair

Garnold!!! - mouse in a gold suit and looks like. Robot. With rollerboots. He/they. GOOD AT BUILDING ROBOTS he loves them and is against using ai for art and only for robots.

Sky!!!! - MINOR MINOR MINOR NO. He/him now later when 17 she/her trans woman .. comfy fluffy clothes LOVES TEDDY BEARS he has a giant collectuon. Silly boy and is quite fucking rude.

Tunner!!! - hare, not related to Jevin and Pinki and he is dating Jevin. Whistles well, Simon is like a lil bro to him he's his biggest fan ... He/him cowboy clothes I'm wahhahshsbs just wants to protect his friends

OWAKCX or just lime!!! - crazy hedgehog thing his fur spikes up. Vineria is his crush and Brud too but never tells them . The only time he calms down is when Vineria brushes his fur and he wears teb most 2000s shit imaginable .

Black or Mr. Black or the Entity. - fucking hate him it/he uhmmmmm creature with funky face he can possess and turn anyone to monsters

Mr. Tree and Mr. Sun! - underrated imo anyway both he/they/it whatever the wisdom source .. everyone is doomed w out em.

Mr. Fun computer!! - the only source of hope of evegdone ATM. He can fight Blacks virus off but it's still infected he/it

[diorysuss]

a convulated oc fact list i wrote in 40 minutes about my ocs because why not. (I am also tired so if some facts seem outta place that’s why 😭😭)

SoL kids and what they are

Dion(ysus) Simmons

- Guarded, Jazz Agent, Psygeology

- African American, specifically creole from New Orleans

- Bisexual

- She/Her, Cis Female

- Bilingual, French and English

- Companion: Molly B. Even though Dion hates the way she talks, they’re a pretty good duo.

- Autistic, but she never got diagnosed so was just called “odd but cool once you get to know her”

- Special Interest was brass instruments as a kid but now she’s just really into rocks.

- In her shadow run she gives eye trauma to shadow president as revenge

- Dating Big Lizzie. Calls her Lovebug (goals)

- Selectively mute sometimes. Like she will just flat out ignore you and not talk to you if she’s mute.

- Dion can play every brass instrument but will visible sob if you try to teach her string/woodwind

- “No, just because I’m named Dionysus doesn’t mean she’s associated with alcoholic beverages and organized crime, damn it!”

- Doesn’t wear hats. The hatless run.

- But will constantly wear her shades. Her left eye does this weird thing from when she was 6 and she doesn’t like it.

- The oldest/peacemaker out of the 3 Simmons kid.

Ares Simmons

- Checkered Past, Pig Skinner, Cryptobotany

- AroAce | Neurotypical | Anger Issues

- He/They, demiboy (he will actually beat the shit outta you if you say otherwise)

- Companion: Simone. He freaks her out sometimes but they got along.

- African American/Italian, adopted from DirtWater and brought to New Orleans

- Ares actually served in the U.S army under Bruise; he genuinely thought for a little while that his lieutenant was named Bruce, and was shocked to find him as his rival.

- He adopted the ruthless perk from his mother; absolutely a beast and has little to no empathy for most others than his family and companions. Most violent being in loathing

- He was put in prison for 6 months before getting out for the wrong thing (they thought he committed a series of gruesome murders; no he just punched a parking meter too hard or something)

- In his shadow run he didn’t just absorb Bruise he literally beat the shit outta him until he was bone

- “Romance is for WEAK PEOPLE who need another person to function.”

- Ares has little to no filter; he says whatever he wants when he wants. This can lead to unwarranted consequences that he shoves, kicks and bites his way out of.

-Bruise is missing a finger because of him.

- Youngest out of the 3 siblings

Demet(er) Simmons

- Scouts Honor, Cheese Wizard, Insectology

- Any/All, Genderfluid

- Lesbian | Asexual

- ADHD

- African American, Creole and from New Orleans

- Companion: Obie. They help each other and duet in the speakeasy a lot.

- Bilingual, French and English

- Demet is notably disabled and uses fore-arm crutches to walk; makes wizarding a bit hard but they make do

- Pacifist, he genuinely wanted to be friends with Noël, but had to send her out of country.

- Demet knows piano; a hobby she practiced since she wasn’t allowed (or rather didn’t let herself) go outside.

- Hates bugs but hates sapient rocks and weird plants more

- She likes Jasper’s shades a whole lot; makes her feel cool.

[some-murmurings]

I think "Says profound things and then teaches Kant. are you smart or not pick a lane" summarizes my feelings about The Good Place perfectly 😭

the ending annihilates me every time I rewatch the damn show while I get more and more uncomfortable with the way so many things are characterized over time

Like

Eleanor is very much the "horny bisexual" trope (made worse bc she's a woman. intersectionally fetishy)

After watching a couple seasons of Brooklyn Nine-Nine (copaganda, notably), I can say with complete confidence Michael Shur fucking HATES fat people. So much. He hates us so, so, SO much.

Jason's whole... yknow, Jason thing. Just the model of "intelligence" Schur uses (also apparent in B99). The fact the "preposterously dumb, extremely overconfident" guy is from Florida.

The way the tone of the show changes almost on a dime bc the later parts of the production happened during Trump's campaign.

The way colonialism and racism are thematic bit parts, instead of focal conflicts that'd massively characterize ALL of the character's experiences.

That Tahani's "sins" have nothing to do with her class (insanely ultrawealthy heiress who actively exploited a broken non-profit charity system for personal fame is left as subtextual, focusing on her needless bickering with her sister)

Again, the whole "Floridian trash" thing, except now noting that it was embodied by a Filipino dude who spends 40% of the show being called a different ethnicity

I can't remember the name of the trope but Simone is pretty actively dehumanized by her role as a "placeholder partner" for a white lady, simultaneously treating her as a "fix-it" partner for Chidi's emotional hangups.

That Simone did not IMMEDIATELY crash the experiment when meeting Brent for the first time. Guy is the devil himself.

That Janet is so clearly asexual & nonbinary but the show fails to explore it with any depth. (a lesser crime but im still mad about it)

The traditional myth of the "History of Philosophy" is pretty uncritically repeated by the show.

It should not go unsaid that Immanuel Kant was VIOLENTLY racist against Africans, West Africans in particular. Like Nose-Charts-to-determine-intelligence racist.

In fact, most of the guys we're meant to believe Chidi uncritically idolizes would have H A T E D his guts for reasons so racist I honestly can't keep track of them bc they're so arbitrarily evil.

I do mean "most" btw, the 'big names' in Philosophy are overwhelmingly scrubbed of any personal & cultural context that might make them look bad (in the show and in contemporary academic culture)

THE GOOD PLACE (2016 - 2020) I 2.12 - Somewhere Else

[pricegouge]

ok so Fated Rabbit- i'm obsessed

i'm going to be a bit frank, as an asexual person usually fics with intense sexual undertones don't really catch my attention. but your fic is so well written!!! your bear price toes the line between sweetheart and beast so perfectly, and the reader character feels like she has genuine agency. for once in a fic my thought process aligns with the reader insert lol. i know the fic is gonna go into more nsfw territory soon but i'm genuinely invested in the plot lol. thank you for writing this wonderful work and i hope you continue to have fun with it <3

epilogue has to be double date with simon and johnny

You guys have all been so sweet to me, my God 😭

I'm having a blast writing John, specifically the way he's often just white knuckling his grip on humanity. It kills me. This is by far the most self indulgent thing I've ever written and I def don't plan to stop lol. It just continues to blow me away how many other people are coming along for the ride 💛

Also, I've sectioned off the sex scene so it's easily skippable! There obviously won't be much happening plot wise there, but any important characterization moments will be summarized in post notes. A petpeeve of mine is when authors change ratings and inadvertently lose readers because of it so I'm gonna try to make it easy on anyone who didn't sign up for that.

Also that's a cute idea.... I am printing this out and putting it in my storyboard and giving you a forehead pat