#as well as just the baseline of making them adequately different from one another lol

[b4kuch1n]

takin an art break for like three days to draw the animal crossing villagersonas from @mimzarts's stream team server. this is literally the most aminals I've ever drawn thanks animal crossing

from left to right: me the baku, @BidulesTruc, mim, @_saharali_, @Plaidyart, @bwunbunko, @sylveos, @Counterplex, @hnb_mertonna, and @pocket_prawn

[electricbluebutterflies]

Jess/Leto + “ you didn't force me. i volunteered [to be here], remember? “

I have nothing to say about this that will make it more or less appealing, lol. PG-ish and usual days-late-crosspost-via-queue deal.

What ought to be one of the proudest events of his life turns into disaster. He should’ve known.

No, scratch that, he did know. Years he batted around the idea, years of quiet offhand comments before that night he swears his partner glowed in their aftermath, and he suspected months before her confession and that, he thinks, that is a memory he will hold close for the rest of his life, the fear of it all and he has always seen her as both delicate and fierce but never more so both at once and-

He took it well. No one else did.

He should’ve known, should’ve been all too aware of what the baselines for scandal actually are in the life he has been given, what his bloodline is known to do and what they are not. To have a child by a less appropriate woman – mistress, concubine, there are plenty of words that fit but still sound too cruel – is questionable but not ruination. The nature of her, however…

Bad enough he keeps her close, they say. Bad enough that what should be her private spaces collect dust. Bad enough she is pretty in a way that witches usually are not, and he allows her to wear good colors and present herself as something more than she is and-

Allows. As if he’s had a damn thing to do with it. As if even he could stop her from anything she wanted.

She is moonlight and warm blood, he wants to say, softer than he’d ever imagined but still keeps thin knives in the seams of her ceremonial dresses, cold even when she touches him with the deepest want and distant even in his arms and… the only person he could ever imagine making these choices with, really. A chance to undo his own past, to do right by her and their child and-

He went and fell in love with a snake, they say. Went and trusted her enough to breed her instead of marrying someone proper and doing what generation upon generation before him has done. What a way to damn a bloodline.

Or to save it, he wants to say. He has blocked his own memories of a childhood that didn’t feel like one – the restlessness of it all, every box he was forced into that never fit and somewhere along the line he gave up on rebellion and settled for making the best of what was forced upon him and out of that a life – but he thinks, on the rare occasions it crosses his mind, that his own parents tolerated each other at best and how he even exists feels like mystery if not miracle and-

Somewhere along the line, he decided to do differently, and he has. This changed direction is done out of love, and it will save them, he thinks, whatever happens and whatever he is still forced to do, this will still save them and-

If he has one talent it is his ability to talk his way out of trouble, and he runs damage control as he can, learns quickly that he underestimated the scandal but still regrets nothing. He is allowed to decide who he loves – the lack of legal formality is itself a way out, much as he wants it, there is at least some kind of binding and adequate rank and she is respectable even if she’s got half the household staff convinced her powers are more varied than he thinks they are. She has not ruined them yet, and she’s had more than enough opportunities, she has more than made up for what trouble she causes and-

It is still, no matter how hard he tries, not a good two weeks. Good practice for when there’s another round in a few months when their child is born, for however often this issue recurs, for how it will not make his marriage prospects easier and he can at least admit to himself that that was almost the point of the idea, to allow himself the peace he has found and-

“What did I miss?” She’s been unusually complacent since the announcement, not secluded just yet but not as prone to wandering the hallways as she normally does, and skies this means they’re actually going to have to talk more frequently and-

“Nothing new, just more… have you heard from…?”

She gives him the darkest look he’s ever seen, a real accomplishment from a woman who routinely glares at people like she thinks her eyes can wound them. “Guess how well that went over.”

Well, it’s nice to remember that this is an interplanetary incident. More things he wants to protect her from, more things he can’t, more reminders of his fragile humanity opposite what he is trying to tether his life to and-

“Whatever you need…”

“Oh, they���re not mad at me. Not yet.”

Correction – more interesting ways that he’s pretty sure no one in his bloodline has managed to die yet and he would like that not to change but-

“Oh?”

So much of his life, he thinks, is going to hinge on what they choose not to tell each other. Specifically what she doesn’t tell him, what he allows himself not to know because it is better to have no idea why she isn’t there in the middle of the night or why her hand is bandaged or… plausible deniability sure has some uses, and so little is actually world-ending and-

“I said I did it to make you happy. That was apparently the wrong move.”

They react to things differently – he paces, needs to keep moving to keep from things he absolutely should not say about what she is and how clearly that’s all messed her up, watches as she sits on the edge of the bed and plays with her hair and oh they are too compatible for their own good, someone must’ve missed something, even he knows this dynamic was not supposed to happen and-

“Wrong how?”

“Wrong like I have to explain it was me. That you didn’t… force me. I volunteered and-“

Protective anger clouds him, the mere idea that anyone could accuse such things, that even from a distance she has to defend herself that way and-

Have they even met her? Does anyone else have any idea how stubborn she is? How she turns her head if she’d rather not take kisses, how she wraps herself in blankets because even when she’s annoyed with him she still wants closeness but don’t get any ideas about it, and on the other side how clear she makes herself when she does want everything. Volatile in her beauty, and all he can do is react to her and know his mistakes will be made clear before he even gets the chance to make them. He couldn’t hurt her even if he wanted to, really.

But he doesn’t want to, and that’s the painful thing of it all, the fact that she came to him draped in red flags and several years later she has become all of his heart and he can’t explain how that happened and he’s never wanted anything more than what they are.

“Do you need me to-“

“Nothing you’re not already doing. I… I do appreciate how you defend me.”

At least she knows, even in the early stages of seclusion she knows where his lines are. It may well make the scandal worse – make him look worse, make his decisions in other areas more subject to judgment, may make every bit of his life more difficult – but if he has learned something about himself in the past few weeks it is how deeply he will fight for what he loves. This is what he wanted, and every possible protocol will be followed, and maybe someday it will be forgotten and-

No. They won’t be that lucky. He can still hope.

“Would you tolerate anything less?”

“You don’t even know how low my expectations are,” she murmurs, like she knows how sharply that breaks his heart. “You are… more than I know what to do with sometimes.”

She worries him sometimes, how casually she says things like that, like even now she expects pain that will not come. By his own standards he merely did what was proper – treated her like the capable woman she is, gave her a fair chance to prove herself, and what they have become grew out of that and he does not doubt her commitment nor the strengths that made him want the more permanent binding that is having a child together. Her resilience and stubbornness, her adaptability similar to but different from his own, her perceptiveness, her beauty, her everything. They will get through this together, as united a front as their circumstances will allow them to be, he will break what rules he has to and-

“You deserve more.”

She gets to her feet and moves in front of him, stops him with her hands around his wrists and how routine this all is, the small touches that are more communication than their words sometimes and-

“I have enough. I did what I wanted and you allowed it.”

“Are you happy, love?”

“You’ve threatened people over my honor. I didn’t know you had that in you.”

Clearly he has done wrong by her if she doubted him that much, but… he will not ask forgiveness for what he does not know, it is not their way and it will not become such and-

“You still-“

She silences him with a kiss, and the feeling of her smile against his skin is still new and precious and rare, and that look in her eyes like she is melting and she has never been happier. “Don’t talk like that,” she murmurs against his face. “We don’t owe each other anything.”

“You do so much and I-“

“Have made abundantly clear to anyone who has to deal with me that direct negative comments about my condition have consequences,” she finishes. “Which is more than I even could’ve asked.”

Still doesn’t feel like enough, but she is what she is and he will still try to do right by her. A different sort of man would take pleasure in low expectations; he is better than that, and-

“We can protect each other, alright?”

“I’ll go into full seclusion earlier than would be expected. It’s not what I want, but… it’ll make this easier for both of us.”

“You’ll still be here, right?”

“You’d let me hibernate in your bed?”

“Will I even notice there’s a difference from your usual behavior?”

“Depends if you have the light on and your hands on me.”

He reaches for her, for where her shape is already changing, and she is beautiful differently every day and this is by his hand and her permission and-

“Whatever you want.”

She makes a soft sound, not quite a laugh. “I don’t even have to manipulate you. Too easy for me. I am truly wasted potential here.”

He can’t disagree with that, but… she has brought light here, he wants to say, as he will so many times in the months to come. She has not been what was expected. They see through each other and make each other better. This is worth making a life out of. This is-

“Are you going to be alright with seclusion?”

“You’ll have to actually tell me things. That’ll be fun.”

So, yes. They’ll get through. They always do.

[wanderingcas]

hey so I saw you post a couple things about not wanting negative comments on your fics and I feel rly bad bc I think if you were vagueposting it may have been in response to the comment I left on your most recent chapter of ascend (I’ve since deleted it, though if it’s still in your inbox I’m sorry I can’t remove that as well). I did read it through before I hit submit, but after seeing what you said I went back, and can see how it could have been interpreted that way; I can tell my tone was just way off, especially for the platform. I’m autistic and have done a lot of work to improve my communication skills and convey appropriate tone, but I still bungle it up sometimes, and I’m sorry about that.

Things get messy on the internet for a variety of reasons, basic miscommunication being one, blurring of boundaries another, mismatch of expectations, etc etc; my intention was to be conversational, like wondering about a plot point not touched on, sandwiched between things I really liked about it. In retrospect I am seeing that even if that tone had been appropriately conveyed, that’s still a boundary you would prefer not to be crossed, particularly not in that setting uninvited.

Tumblr can add a layer of complexity bc of how friendly and informal and blunt so much of it is, and I think perhaps because I’ve read so much of your work and follow you here, it skewed the relationship baseline I was aiming from. For example, if I were talking to a friend about their work, I believe that tone would be less likely to cause hurt or offense, if that makes sense, or at least that has been my experience...though now that I’m thinking about it, still maybe not on a public comment platform! So again I am realizing the layers of my error here.

I’m not explaining to minimize your feelings or absolve myself of blame, but because by describing it this way I better understand what I did, where I went wrong, and how to improve going forward. I would rather be embarrassed and work through it than experience this social faux pas and be too ashamed to leave comments at all in the future. I can understand the position you have taken about not wanting negative comments, and I definitely get that you and all fic authors and other fanwork creators put in the time and effort and make yourselves vulnerable by sharing that effort for free, only hoping for some positive feedback in response.

Although I’ve definitely had good interactions with some authors over the years via comments and included some not-exclusively-positive feedback without issue, it’s wrong to assume that that is everyone’s stance. It’s absolutely every author’s prerogative to decide what types of comments to accept, and I mean that without judgment. As a non-neurotypical person (who often needs explicit statements of acceptable social behavior to adequately modulate my communication), this has reminded me that it is safer and kinder to assume that someone wants positive-only until otherwise demonstrated.

I apologize for any hurt caused by my inappropriate and badly phrased comment. Thank you for sharing your work, and for enforcing your boundary about what type of comment you’d prefer to accept.

hi, anon! just to clarify - are you the commenter that made a post about wanting more of Jack in the epilogue? Because i want to absolve you of some blame right now - I actually wasn't vagueposting toward you at all. I got really bad anon hate yesterday? two days ago? toward my fic (I deleted it, blocked the anon, and never posted it), as well as anons in the past - and I've also been seeing fellow writer friends go through some of the same issues. My post was less of a vague post necessarily and more of a general "let's review fandom etiquette" lol. Know that my post about that, and the subsequent discourse with that anon, was absolutely not directed at you.

When I got your comment I will admit it made me a little uncomfy - mostly because when I've gotten those comments in the past, they're layered with an added "this is what I wanted and you didn't do it so I'm angry and telling you about it", but that's not what you did in your comment - I understood where you were coming from, even if it did make me pause a bit. So i just want to let you know that you shouldn't feel shame or awkward or anything like that. I agree that tone and intention can get lost over the internet, and the relationship between reader and author can be tricky sometimes - particularly if you want to offer an opinion that might not be taken as completely positive? But it sounds like you are aware of that, and I do appreciate you taking the time to self-reflect.

And just as a quick note - in the past, there have been fics I've asked to get feedback on from readers - like La Hantise, for example, which I since deleted to rework as an original fic. I really wanted readers to point out what parts worked for them, and what parts didn't, and I specifically stated that in the author's notes on every chapter. Looking back, that may have been why our signals crossed got crossed, if you've been following my fics before. And usually I am pretty open to opinions in comments? But "ascend" in particularly has gotten some really entitled, really awful comments (again, not putting yours in that category!) so I've had to guard myself a bit with that fic. Maybe it's because it's a fix it fic, and everyone wants different things out of the finale to be fixed. Maybe it's because tensions are high. I dunno. Either way, i've had to build some walls around myself so i don't want to stop posting supernatural fic altogether lol.

So yeah, this is a messy way of saying - thank you for coming to apologize in case you needed to, but know the post wasn't about you. It was a general vent about the unwanted criticism and vitriol that some writers have been receiving lately on their fics. Like, really mean-spirited stuff lol. It wasn't my intention to make anyone paranoid, especially because comments on fics are great and lovely and I'm not about to drag anyone through the mud even if a comment made me a little sad, but I can tell their intentions are good. Usually in that case I just disengage and think about how to process it on my own end. <3

That all being said, i really really appreciate you taking the time to come to my inbox and say all this. You're one of the good ones, you really are. And people like you make me want to keep posting fic. Truly.